Bright Light Marriage and Family Therapy

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What to do with Haters | Week 48 | Confidence Revolution

It’s the holiday season and you’re likely around a lot of folks – friends, family and co-workers. And some of those folks are going to throw some shade, or try to undermine you or flat out criticize you. Some will lovingly point out things you could be doing better and some will nit-pick just to annoy you.


Here are some things to remind yourself when you feel criticism being hurled at you. 

Know that there are two types of criticism – destructive and constructive.

DESTRUCTIVE:

  • It’s likely they don’t really KNOW you - so don't take their words personally. 
  • It’s 99.9% likely that their opinions have NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with their own unresolved issues, dilemmas and short comings.
  • Folks who criticize (and we all do it from time to time) are seeing the world through their own view point. They’re not really putting themselves in your shoes.
  • Also – THE BIG KAHUNA - You can’t change their opinion – because it’s not about you – it’s about them.

CONSTRUCTIVE:

  • It’s coming from someone who shows they love you. (Not just says they love you.)
  • If their comment hits a nerve, sit with it – maybe there’s some truth to the statement.
  • Try not to shut it out completely – try to see if from their point of view.
  • Would you benefit from a little change?
  • Know you can handle it. All growth comes with some level of discomfort.
  • Sometimes our loved ones know we deserve better and just want us to believe it.

You are strong and you can ABSOLUTELY handle what is coming your way.

love and grace, catia


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