TESHUVAH. 

Last week we talked about noticing our bodies. What was hurting? How were our bodies reacting to certain foods, to certain situations? Were we tensing up? Were we ill? Were we stressed?

Here's what I noticed about my body. 

• I was bloated.
• The joints in my hands hurt.
• My skin was breaking out.

Some other things I noticed were:

• I was happy in my parent's home. 
• I felt at ease with my extended family (we played chalupa and trivia!)
• I had fun dancing with my girls to my Dad's favorite You Tube Music Station.

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Have you ever eaten a slice of cake and thought, Well, I may as well have one more. And pretty soon - the cake is gone? Or, have you ever thought, well, I opened the bottle of wine and I don't want to waste it, so I'll just finish the bottle? (As if you have some duty to the wine?)

Sometimes we consume food and drink unconsciously. Of course, we are awake - but we are not paying attention to why we are eating what we are eating. And IF WE ARE paying attention - sometimes our negative self-talk takes over and we begin/continue to consume things that harm us. 

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Enter TESHUVAH. 

Rob Bell introduced me (and millions of other folks) to the Hebrew word, TESHUVAH. And I LOVE IT. Teshuvah is translated as “return” and signifies a return to the original state. A return to the divine - if you will.

Inherent in the definition of Teshuvah is that we are divine beings, good beings - and that when we act differently - we are veering away from who we really are. 

At the core, we are good, worthy and special. We deserve joy and peace. 

Classically, Teshuvah is comprised of three ingredients: regret of misdeed,  decision to change, and verbal expression of one’s veering off the path. 

When we TESCHUVAH, we are aware that we have gone off the path and that we need to return back to our natural state. 

Nowhere in the definition is there mention of negative self-talk, punishment or even self-loathing. Just a gentle return.

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Over the holiday I ate delicious food, but it wasn't so nutritious and that's why I was bloated, and why my joints hurt and probably why my face broke out. So, on Tuesday, instead of weighing myself (which I would have done in years past as a form of punishment) or wearing smaller clothing to prove to myself how much weight I had gained (which I would have also done) -- I ate protein and a salad. 

Done. 

No self-hatred. No punishment. 

Teschuvah. 

A gentle return.

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And all the times I felt good, dancing and being with my family - that's who I really am. That's my natural state. What a relief! 

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You and I have so many more interesting things to do than to do berate ourselves. 

Sometimes we make mistakes, but we aren't mistakes. 

If we can recognize that our "home base," our original state is goodness and wholeness - then we can have a clearer sense of how to make decisions that honor who we really are. 

Gently return to treating yourself well. 

all my blessings, catia