Valley, I believe in you. Thank you for believing in me. Until Soon.
The first time I left The Valley, I was 18.
In 2001, I graduated Weslaco High School and was starting my university days at UT. Weslaco was home. It was where I went to school, where my friends were, and where my family was.
2nd grade Super Star Parade
High school golf
I was excited but also nervous. I remember sitting in those large auditorium-style classrooms and looking around thinking, I don’t know anyone. I went back to the teeny dorm room that I shared with a stranger and wrote my dad an email. It said something like, “Dad, I’m just a number here – no one cares about me. I miss home.” I was in business school, and the people around me were SMART and FROM THE CITY! It was a stark contrast to growing up in Weslaco. In Weslaco ( a one high school town back then) I always knew my teachers and principals and let’s face it, every teacher I had knew my parents were involved – so I always felt like I mattered. I did not feel ANY of that at UT.
The University of Texas
My dad wrote me back and told me to keep trying. He reminded me that all I had accomplished in Weslaco was not overnight; it all took time. And so I stayed, and I tried. I made friends, got involved – and three years later – I graduated. **Interesting side note. I graduated from high school with a lot of college credit – thanks, WHS! Go Panthers!! And so my parents told me this before I left for UT, “We will only pay for three years of college. So, earn your degree in 3 years.” And since I am the oldest and I believed everything they said, and since I didn’t have any money – I earned my degree in three years. I would later learn - that was a lie – and they would have paid for my college for as long as it took. Parents. LOL
I’d come back weekends to watch my younger brothers play football and for any other important occasion – you know how Mexican families are. Together.
After UT, I went to graduate school in Houston and was further away from The Valley. But I always knew I could come home. I knew there were people —my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends that feel more like angels --- who wanted me to visit.
At a UT football game with my brothers
In my 20s, I traveled, I dated, explored with my young life – but like a boomerang, I always came back home.
When Guapo and I were early on in our relationship – he would say things like, “it’s your parents’ home, it’s not your home.” And I’d say, “No. It is my home.” And he’d always stay confused – wondering why a 29-year-old woman would still call her parents’ home - home. I remember the first time he came to Christmas in The Valley. We gave him a uniform, and he worked Christmas Eve at Holiday Wine and Liquor – like a good boyfriend!
I managed the store; he managed the line of customers. At that time, Guapo was a pretty accomplished lawyer – and he wasn’t exactly used to working late on Christmas Eve helping customers out to their car with boxes – but he was in love!
Later that night, we went to my Abuelita’s for buñelos and tamales, and he had a big grin. “This is so nice.” “Yes, it is,” I said.
—
When Alexandra was only a few months old, Carlos, my youngest brother and I rented a home. It was a three-bedroom house—one bedroom for Carlos, one for me, and one for Alexandra. One week a month – Alexandra and I would drive from Austin to McAllen. My mom got to spend time with Alexandra, and I got to work at Holiday. We’d have pizza night and movie night – and God bless Carlos and his now-wife Ashley – I’d be pumping breast milk and interrupt their date to take the breast milk to the refrigerator. The things we do!
Uncle Los with Alexandra
Uncle Los being epic with baby Alexandra
Guapo and I grew, and Luciana came along, and we moved to Central America. And the more and more Guapo evolved as a papa – the more he said things like, “I am never leaving the girls. They can always live with us; maybe I’ll pay them not to go to college and hang out with me.” I looked at him and said, “You’re a Mexican dad, after all.”
And then, in casual conversation, I said, “Imagine Alexandra marrying someone and moving to another country. Imagine having to travel 12 hours to see your kid.”
That notion sat with us and when we knew we were coming back to the US – we said, “Let’s go be with family for a while.” And so after Central America, in October of 2019, we moved back to The Valley.
The four of us
The last year has been full of transitions.
New schools, friends, a new house, a change in lifestyle, and then, Corona. My goodness.
Guapo and the girls and I have been through a ton.
When Corona started in March, Guapo got sick, and we thought it was Corona. Guapo had already quarantined for ten days in our room. So I was the mom, nurse, cleaning lady around the clock for a few weeks – and I was already frazzled. Then one morning, his lips became discolored, and so we decided that he go to the ER. But moms don’t get to fall apart – at least not right away – because there’s still snack time, playtime, lunchtime, and bedtime. He packed his bag and went to the ER, and I did THE GROUP TEXT—the one where you ask people for help and prayers.
Immediately, everyone came to bat in big ways.
My Uncle dropped food on my doorstep, and within the hour, a family friend had called her suegra – and the suegra worked at the hospital, and she was able to get me information on Guapo that I would not have gotten otherwise. People just sent us their love in whatever way they could. Paper goods so I wouldn’t have to wash dishes, flowers, food, prayers. Love looks like a lot of things.
Christmas Brunch with framily - December 2019
During our time here, the girls have played with family, eaten raspas, and walked through the Valley Lemon orchards. They were flower girls for the first time and got to see their Uncle Los and Tia Ashley marry. When we drive by Weslaco stadium, Luci yells, “Panthers! Mommy – you went to Panthers!”
Weslaco High School Football game - October 2019
Alexandra sings the Holiday Wine and Liquor jingle every time she passes a Holiday. Alexandra just kind of thinks everyone has a business. She asked her grandparents to give her a building ( an entire one) – so she can open a gift shop. She wants to sell lemonade from the gift shop for $5.00. It’s excellent lemonade.
Alexandra and her Uncle Los at Holiday Wine and Liquor
For a while, Alexandra called it, “Mexi-callen,” instead of McAllen.
The girls have had so much fun with my parents. One night, my mom told Alexandra, “mi casa es su casa.” So about a month ago as we were leaving my parent’s house – Alexandra rearranged some decorations. And she said, “this is my house too.” “Yes, it is sweet girl.”
Valley Winter
My mom, Nana, reading a book to Luciana
Luciana trying to get my gum
Alexandra, Christmas 2019
By being here in The Valley, I got to remember what it was like to feel The Valley breeze and see the palm trees swaying in the wind. I got to see friends on a quick run to the grocery store and be called, Catia Hernandez. And people ask – even still – are you David and Nellie’s girl? Yes, I am.
Selfie at my dad’s desk
My 36th birthday cake and song in my dad’s office
I was able to officiate the wedding for my brother and sister-in-law.
Getting to officiate my brother’s and sister-in-law’s wedding
Plus, I got to be with my parents during all of this Corona mess. Did you know I have worked for my parents pretty much my entire life? I do ALL sorts of things for Holiday Wine and Liquor and the Texas Valley Lemons – but I was able to kick it into high gear for Holiday when Corona hit – and that was a big blessing.
And even with all the junk going on – I was able to get grounded. To feel loved and welcomed – to see old friends, to take morning walks on familiar trails.
I was able to spend Sunday afternoons with my folks and ask my mom for help with things that I could do myself if I had to. And, this was the first time in a long time that I was able to celebrate mother’s day and father’s day with my folks – in person!
I drove on the farm and got stuck in the mud. I was able to get all my art fixed up by my favorite frame shop and eat greasy taqueria. I even taught Guapo how to say things like, “this chick.” (You will only get this is you’re from The Valley.)
The Valley and this community is so dear to me.
Many people here have believed in me and have given me actual opportunities. They have taken leaps of faith on me, and I am truly humbled by it.
They’ve let me lead their groups, invited me to sit on boards, loaned me their church alters, supported my book and become my clients.
Guys, the Barnes and Noble on Nolana ( in McAllen) gave me my first ever Barnes and Noble book placement, got posters printed with my face on it, and held a book signing for me. Then, on book signing day – the staff gave me a locket that I still wear to this day. I’m grateful to Barnes and Noble – but I know that wasn’t Barnes and Noble – that was Valley people supporting other Valley people.
The Valley believes in me – and I believe in The Valley.
Fernando Rivera, Kay Jancik, me, Erren Seale - at a public speaking event at St. John’s Episcopal - May 2018
Susie Robertson and me - love her! - at a public speaking event - May 2018
Dora Brown and me at a keynote address for RGV Women of Purpose - March 2018
A keynote address - RGV Women of Purpose - March 2018
Barnes and Noble Book event- March 2018
Emceeing - The Festival of Color - October 2019
Vanessa Pardo and Monique Condes - my girlfriends who always cheer me on!
When my edges are unraveling – The Valley, Weslaco, my parents, my family – they shore me up. They get me good and strong for the next adventure. And that’s what the last year has felt like.
Tomorrow, I will leave The Valley again.
We bought our first home (does this make me a real adult?), and we are going to settle in for a while, hopefully, a long while.
I’m looking at all the cardboard boxes I’ve packed, our rental house in shambles, teary and grateful for the last year.
Guapo and the girls drove ahead, and so I have some time to write and think.
I never quite know where life is taking me ( us ), but I am happy that I got to come back to The Valley, and live here – with my handsome mid-western husband and my two amazing girls.
In my work, sometimes parents ask me, “how do I get my kids to stay, to come back? I don’t want them to leave.” And I always say, “Be kind, actively welcome them. Don’t try to control them. Give them stability. Create a safety net of love and understanding. Cook them a meal. Leave space in your life for them – maybe even some space in your house. Let them explore and play and always welcome them home for love.”
My mom and dad are coming over tonight. They are bringing me Koko’s fajitas, and we are going to have a socially distanced last supper before tomorrow’s big move. And I am just full of gratitude.
The Valley is in a tough spot right now, but it’s such a special place. Full of grit and love and hope.
Valley – you’re such good people. I believe in you. I believe in your dreams. I believe you are strong. I know you will overcome.
Until soon, friends. You know I’ll be back.
Hi friend!
Welcome to Bright Light.
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.
Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.
I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.
I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.
You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.
To each session, I bring my training as a Certified Conscious Coach, my graduate studies in Marriage and Family Therapy, and my decade-long career as an author and keynote speaker. My approach is multi-cultural, grounded in research and my own experience as the mama of two young girls.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
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