Catia Holm 1/19/21 Catia Holm 1/19/21

Courage to Become | Nina Berenato

“I always tell aspiring jewelry makers to be ready for the long haul. The expectations of what it is to run a small business are skewed. I didn’t have a store until I worked behind the scenes and ran uphill for eight years. I equate it a lot to boxing, you have to take a lot of hits and stay in the ring. ”

— - Nina Berenato

A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.

Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Nina is one of them.

Enjoy Nina’s story of becoming. I am a HUGE fan of Nina’s. I love her jewelry, I own 3-4 pieces. I have given her jewelry as gifts, I’ve donated to her Paypal when things got tough during COVID, I truly think she is an amazing person and that she makes the world a better place. She is bright and hard-working and cares about the greater good. Nina is truly an inspiration for me. Please welcome, Nina.

Nina Berenato of Nina Berenato Jewelry

Tell us a little bit about yourself:

I'm a 33-year-old jewelry designer based in Austin, TX. I was born and raised in St.Louis, Missouri, and moved to New York shortly after college. That's where I started jewelry making as an apprentice under a master metalsmith for six years. I moved to Texas about five years ago and have been slowly growing my jewelry business ever since.

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?

One of the foundational parts of my personality is that if I see something that feels wrong, I can't just stand by and watch. This means I get involved, and I often speak out or try to make a change in the world. Every time I do this, I feel fear because I know that I am putting myself on the chopping block. There will always be someone out there who thinks you aren't doing enough or aren't going about things the way they would. I believe this stops a lot of people from standing up for things when their gut tells them they should. From internet bullying to confronting me in person, I have had it all, but I don't let that stop me from sticking up for my beliefs. I have always wanted to be a person that changed the world in a positive way, and that has always been my dream, so I have to encounter and defeat fear all of the time to do that.

How did it feel getting started?

Getting started with my business was pretty easy for me because I am an artist, and I started slow. My business evolved into what it is now, slowly over 11 years. I definitely didn't start out knowing I would be where I am today. I always did know that I wanted to have my own fashion business, and I was always excited to create. I love metalsmithing, so once I started learning that - I knew I always wanted that to be a part of my life. I struggled financially for so long within my business and kept another full-time job for the first seven years in business, so it was a lot of work and a lot of sacrificing material things for my art. But it felt good because I was doing what I loved.

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started handcrafting jewelry and creating a business?

Most of the obstacles I faced centered around making mistakes because I didn't have a lot of knowledge about finance, business, etc. I learned quickly, but I had to make mistakes to learn the lesson. For example, I spent the first seven years in business pricing my product incorrectly. I accepted many terms with other businesses I worked with that were not in my favor etc. So I had to go through that to learn the lesson and evolve. There's no handbook for the business I created. Not only do we manufacture our product, but we sell other maker's work, so my business is two-fold. I have a brick-and-mortar that I run an online store and we sell wholesale. So I had to try on all those hats and figure out all the ins and outs of all those branches before I could really take-off. And I am still learning and still making mistakes.

What motivates you to continue growing and investing in your business, Nina Berenato Jewelry?

The biggest motivator for me is being able to create an environment where people are really happy, My three employees are really happy when they come to work, and they have fun and feel supported. My customers feel more powerful when they wear my jewelry. I can teach others jewelry making, which gives them a creative outlet. I teach business skills to other aspiring women so they can learn from my mistakes and lead happier, more successful lives. I can use the small amount of buying power I have in my one little shop to support other women makers and artists, therefore improving their lives. So really, just making the world better for the women around me in whatever little ways I can.

Which living person do you most admire?

I most admire my mom. She is definitely where I get my generous spirit from, and she is the ultimate giver. We are getting a lot closer as I get older, and I am enjoying that and appreciating her more and more.

Which talent would you most like to have?

I would love to be able to do other types of art. People assume that because I am great at jewelry making that I can do all types of art, like drawing or painting, but definitely NOT. I wish I could draw ad paint, do collage, or make stained glass, but as of today, my artistic ability begins and ends with jewelry.

What is your most marked characteristic?

Probably my creativity. I have a talent for coming up with something out of nothing, be it a new design idea, a way to give back, a marketing plan. I can just come up with creative ways to do things out of nowhere.

Screen Shot 2020-03-30 at 2.40.59 PM.png

What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?

My motto is "Leap and the net will appear."

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

I am most proud to have my three employees who work for me. Building a staff is important to me, and providing them with a place where they enjoy working and can thrive has been something that's made me proud.

What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in the mud?

I love to be knee-deep in mud because I love a challenge, but when I feel exhausted, I shut off all my social media and emails and watch trash TV, like 90 Day Fiance, and I just zone out for a few hours.

What's one piece of advice you'd give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

I always tell aspiring jewelry makers to be ready for the long haul. The expectations of what it is to run a small business are skewed. I didn't have a store until I worked behind the scenes and ran uphill for eight years. I equate it a lot to boxing, you have to take a lot of hits and stay in the ring. My business has grown to this level because I always kept everything small. I put everything back into the company, and I still make each piece of jewelry myself, so I always try to show aspiring jewelry designers a realistic picture. You're going to have to work for it and work long and hard, so get yourself mentally ready first. Invest in a therapist, train your mind and your body so that you can push through.

What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?

Stop drinking alcohol. When I got into my thirties, I changed my habits a lot, and one of those was drinking alcohol. I will drink maybe 2-3 times a year. It's done wonders for me, and I wish I would have had the courage to do it sooner.

You can connect with Nina and shop her empowering pieces on:

Instagram , Facebook and her website - NinaBerenato.com

Hi friend!

Welcome to Bright Light.

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.

Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.

I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.

I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.

You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.

To each session, I bring my training as a Certified Conscious Coach, my graduate studies in Marriage and Family Therapy, and my decade-long career as an author and keynote speaker. My approach is multi-cultural, grounded in research and my own experience as the mama of two young girls.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

3-catia-hernandez-holm-tedx-speaker-author-the-courage-to-become-book-coach-confidence-joy-guide.jpg — Monthly Guide

Sign Up Here

Curious about what a session with me is like? Want to just kind of get a little sampler? I would too! Coaching is a big investment. Also think, how long have you been burdened with THIS and how great would it feel to be liberated from that weigh on your heart, that dark cloud following you around.

Click here to read in depth testimonials from clients.

Schedule a complimentary 30 minute session

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 1/18/21 Catia Holm 1/18/21

Courage to Become | Sonya Holmgaard

“Around this time, I started my health journey. I was just a few months in waking up every day at 5 am to work out and take time for myself and eat healthily. I could have given up, but instead, I pushed harder. I brought food with me to the hospital while visiting my hurt nephew and stuck to my plan. I pressed play on workout videos in hospital rooms. I kept going. I had fuel. I WAS TIRED AND SCARED AND SAD. I KEPT GOING. ”

— Sonya Holmgaard

A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.

Enjoy Sonya’s story of becoming. I watch her on social media and admire the way she is so passionate about health and wellness for herself, and for her community. I have learned so much from her about persistence and growing and enthusiasm!!! Please welcome, Sonya.

Sonya Holmgaard

WAVE NUMBER 1

When I was a junior in high school, I met this very handsome man I immediately knew I would marry. 17 years this December. He struggled with a drug addiction that I was not aware of. I knew bits and pieces and would find things, but I was oblivious to what was going on for the most part. When I found out he would be spending 2 ½ years in a Federal Penitentiary, I was already months along with our first child. I watched him get sentenced wearing shackles and chains around his hands and feet while trying to hold myself emotionally together, not only for myself but also to keep my stress levels down and for my unborn baby's well-being.

I didn't know how strong I was then until years later. I worked two jobs and made the trip to Yankton, South Dakota, to visit him almost every weekend with my husband's grandparents or mother. I had very few friends and kept myself busy getting ready for the baby, worked, and prayed a lot. Our first child was born, and I was allowed to make a phone call to the prison to report our first baby girl's news. The hospital refused to let me put her father's name on the birth certificate for my daughter. Instead, they put dashes where his name should have been. From the beginning, even though the struggle I knew I would face, I never had any intentions to leave my husband because I knew we were to be together forever, no matter what. I knew he was my soul mate and his struggle in life was no reason to abandon him. I loved him and wasn't going anywhere.

Shortly after his sentence and before our first child, we were married privately in a small jail before being transferred to federal prison. We said I do behind glass while a local priest who was against our marriage announced our union. I cried as I messed up one of the lines the priest prompted me to say, and he scoffed at me. When I say he was against, I mean he was against it and treated us like it. Regardless, we were married, and I was in it till death do us part. I was prepared. No matter what anybody said, and they did say a lot. Others wanted me to leave him and have a "real life."

Eventually, I was allowed to bring our baby girl to the prison so her dad could see her for the first time. This was before he was transferred, so it was only an hour from where I live. I proudly held her up to the glass window for daddy to see his perfect little lady. She showed off her crooked pinkies just like his and her nose that was just like mine. That was tough. That was a sad day but also a happy day because we both loved her so much. Years later, I visited Alcatraz prison in California and had a mini-breakdown seeing the visiting area where families would visit through glass windows and use a phone to talk to each other. They probably held up their hands, and that's how they "held hands" between an inch and a half of Plexiglas. Seeing that Visitor area was challenging for me. And even harder, I knew my husband would not be able to hold his daughter. Tough. Very tough. Hard. VERY HARD.

Years later, I came back to this very prison to visit a cousin who was in trouble for drugs. My cousin boasted to his counselor about how my husband made it out and has a good life and that he knew there was a way to have another chance. The same room with the same glass window where I brought my daughter as a baby to see her daddy through the glass was in the background. Visitor room number 5. I noticed it when we walked in and pushed the feelings aside and later sat with the feelings as we drove home. It wasn't so hard this time. This time I let the feelings come. I dealt with them and thanked God for my daughter growing up into a beautiful, strong, fierce, independent woman that will not be stopped by any history our family has in the past.

The day we got to go pick up my husband, there was a party going on in my heart, in my mind, in my soul. He had worked hard and studied and learned to weld and was ready to come home. He did all the things he was supposed to do and more. In the Bible, he found himself in good people in finding a skill that he knew he could apply at a good job when he got home. By the grace of God, he had a family member there that had already almost served years of his life for drugs as well and had made a HUGE shift and change in his life to do better, and he took my husband under his wing and helped him find the way down the right path. When we all walked out of the prison doors, he kept looking behind him. It was a strange feeling for him to walk out those doors. Things were new and different, and things had changed in the big world.

AND BAM! I was pregnant, just like that with our second child. We had a small marriage ceremony that September, and I was six months pregnant in David's bridal red and white dress tailored for my swollen pregnant belly. Life was good. Years went by, and we fought a lot and made up a lot, and our marriage was tested. But as we got older, we grew more and more in love and understanding of each other. Luckily my daughter was young enough she doesn't remember, and by the time we had our second child, my husband was HOME; I'm thankful for that. WE MADE IT, and we are all right.

WAVE NUMBER 2

WAVE number 2 was coming, and I had no idea. A TSUNAMI. With no warning. And here it is. I'm just going to come out with it. My nephew was shaken by his father so severely that he almost died. He is now blind, unable to walk, unable to talk, never run, will never see, and will never have all the chances that many other kids get. We spent countless nights in a tiny family waiting room and slept in chairs and couches made out of cement, I swear. It was my job every day to wake up and make sure my sister ate so she could keep going. We were allowed to see my nephew but only with CPS breathing down our necks while they investigated. CPS took my sister alone into a room and interrogated her without my knowledge until I found out where she was and ever so kindly burst in to sit with her and hold her hand, so she wasn't alone. At the time, I didn't know how strong I was. I went through the movements to protect my sister, and even though my body went through the motions, I wasn't there; I was in another world trying to scramble and pick up the pieces from this giant confetti bomb the size of the world that just went off.

I was placed with temporary custody of my other nephew as none of the children were no longer allowed to be in my sister's care until things were straightened out. AND THE PART I COULDN'T LIVE WITH FOR A LONG TIME…I was asked to take my baby nephew, who was shaken home after they released him, and I SAID NO. I SAID NO because I had my own two kids, at the time 2-year-old nephew I had just taken custody of (and I was upfront about my husband's past…Luckily DHS let me have my nephew). I had planned on taking on my sister's other two children that were older. Eventually, their dad fought me over and ended up getting for a while. So I was planning on raising my two-year-old nephew, my own two kids, and my sister's older two kids for as long as I needed to. 5 KIDS! At the time, I didn't know it, but I took on only what I could handle. My nephew, who was shaken, was placed with my other sister, who happened to be a foster parent. I let him go there because I didn't think I would be able to take care of all the kids and get my hurt nephew to where he needed to be for hospital surgeries and care. It was going to be a long, long haul for him. I didn't think I had it in me to be strong enough to carry all that battle. I felt I could handle only so much.

About a year and a half goes by, and I am BEATING MYSELF UP EVERY DAY for not taking my nephew, who was hurt. I WAS ASHAMED OF MYSELF. DESTROYED. FELT WORTHLESS. WHAT KIND OF AN AUNT WAS I? Like how could I take on the other kids and not my poor helpless baby nephew who needed me? DEPRESSION BIG TIME. LOWEST POINT OF MY LIFE. DONE. WAS A WASTE OF SPACE. I WISHED IT WERE ME AND NOT MY BABY NEPHEW. I would have done ANYTHING TO TAKE HIS SPOT. So he could have a chance. So he could have a LIFE.

BUT…..

I PULLED MYSELF OUT OF THAT DARK PLACE.

I kept pouring myself into my sister's kids and my own. EVERY WAKING second was ABOUT THEM. They were well-loved and taken care of and still are.

Around this time, I started my health journey. I was just a few months in waking up every day at 5 am to work out and take time for myself and eat healthily. I could have given up, but instead, I pushed harder. I brought food with me to the hospital while visiting my hurt nephew and stuck to my plan. I pressed play on workout videos in hospital rooms. I kept going. I had fuel. I WAS TIRED AND SCARED AND SAD. I KEPT GOING.

When my nephew was released with my other sister who took him, there were many months of grueling court battles and even a court hearing for a chance for the father of my nephew, who I had custody of to fight for him….he didn't….I was CRUSHED for him. That was a punch in the gut. I wouldn't have given him up anyway, but it was hard to hear he was done with this beautiful little Hawaiian tanned baby boy that has a smile bigger than the sun. I continued my workout journey and even got my nephew up at 5 am with me as a workout buddy and got him his milk and blanky while he laid and watched cartoons before I took him to daycare.

At the time, I Didn't know HOW STRONG I WAS.

Years later, I FORGAVE MYSELF.

FOR NOT TAKING MY HURT NEPHEW. I took YEARS to let it go. YEARS.

I went to the gulf shores, woke up before the sunrise. And that day, I decided it was time. I ran 3 miles. Then watched the sun come up, then laid in the saltwater, went under…

AND LET IT GO. I forgave myself and let it go to GOD. He took all my weight and my burden of NOT BEING ENOUGH. Up into the sky went my unanswered questions. I know now that I will never know things. Like why adults hurt small children. Why things happen that break your heart into a million pieces. Why you try to protect your loved ones, but sometimes you just can't. I let these questions GO.

And without taking any time or any love away from my children and my sister's children and my family. I poured into myself. I finally felt myself becoming stronger. Not only mentally or physically with my health journey but spiritually. I felt closer to God, and I felt my purpose. I found myself, and even though I didn't know it through all of these hardships, I WAS strong, and I was ENOUGH. I was doing everything I could and more.

Then we had to put our beloved dog Zombie down because she was sick with cancer and could no longer control her bladder. This ROCKED our family. DEVASTATED our kids. She was their best friend, and it was tough for them and all of us.

Then we lost my father in law and it was brutal on my husband and my kids, then we lost my stepfather, which I took very hard, then six months later, my biological mother got breast cancer and had to have a breast removed. There wasn't much time to recover in between blows or, as I like to call them ….waves. Our world was ROCKED, and our boat was tipping. Our boat was tipping A LOT.

AND

Speaking of waves….

WAVE NUMBER 3

Which are currently becoming whitecaps out in the stormy sea as we speak and getting ready to rock my white sandy beaches.

We have a family member who is currently missing and without getting into too much detail because I feel it would be unfair to the rest of this family at this time…we believe there was foul play involved. We are all dangling at the biggest edge of the biggest cliff, right now as we speak. We don't entirely know what is coming our way, but we have an idea, and we WILL UNITE, and WE WILL persevere, and WE WILL hold hands and come together and be gentle with each other and do whatever it is we have to do. And I believe I am strong enough to help my family through this wave. We pray still it won't turn out badly, and we are holding on by that little tiny thread of light just to get us through. But even so. I know there is always going to be a light. A big bright one with the Lord in the middle, and I believe we will be ok.

I've had three flat tires in a month, one car in the shop twice to be repaired, and my brand new 20,000 camper just flooded. I have two teenaged children…one that likes to push limits and scare the holy bejesus out of me in the middle of the night and test all the waters… and just literally called me to tell me her battery is dead…yes, that's the car that has been in the shop twice. Oh yeah, and there is also a worldwide pandemic and riots going on. But I still get up every single day, flip on my camera, say hi to the world, and do what I love doing. Helping others find that CLICK, that LIGHTBULB, that FIRE in the pit of their stomachs to change and put the work in - better themselves. I laugh a little each time I get phone calls now when it's about flat tires and car repairs, and my daughter needs a ride from 2 towns away on a Sunday night, and it's 8 pm. I laugh because these are small things that used to piss me off. But now I see them as easy small little ripple waves.

There will be more BIG waves, and there will be smaller ripple waves. And I won't be ready. I will be stronger this time around, and even if I have to drop to my knees again and again. I will get up, and I will be ok. There have been other waves before these, but I feel that those waters have calmed and smoothed out, but that doesn't mean I still don't carry the scars. I've just steadied my boat.

Now I will never treat myself with unkind words. Sometimes when I am overwhelmed with hard things, I talk to myself and say… You're all right…you are all right… you're ok…. until I center. I will always put myself first to be the best possible me for my family and GOD. I no longer think of parts of my life as a nightmare but rather a season of growing and learning. I thank God for the years my husband had to grow and become a stronger father and person…without those years locked away, this could be a different story. I praise God my children were so young that they don't remember things that might have crushed them. And I believe wholeheartedly one hundred percent that people change. I believe most people are good. I believe in families sticking together; I believe that you have it in you to get through some very tough waves and battles in life, just like my family and I did and are doing still. I believe that you are tougher than you think. I believe God made us all strong. I believe change can be beautiful. If you look at things in a different light, you will see the sun where shadows once were. I also believe you need the dark, and that is a part of life. I believe that I am 36 years old, and my story is far from over. I believe in between these waves; we have the best of memories as well….kayaking, long sunny days at the lake grilling food and swimming, 16th birthdays, learners permits, family get-togethers for nieces and nephews…the ones at my sisters are the best!...new jobs, working together as a family on the house remodel, bike rides, watching sunsets on the front porch, and just waking up every single day and having each other. And I believe that no matter what, I'll always be ok. And so will you.

-"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf."-JON KABAT-ZINN

Wave #4…to be continued…

You can connect Sonya on Facebook and on Instagram

Hi friend!

Welcome to Bright Light.

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.

Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.

I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.

I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.

You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Click here to read in depth testimonials from clients.

Schedule a complimentary 30 minute session

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 12/11/20 Catia Holm 12/11/20

Courage to Become | Karina Shivdasani

“I grew up with a lot of insecurities. I always felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt too chubby, not pretty enough, too tall, and I hated my “Bugs Bunny” teeth. I am an Indian-American, and within my culture people have no problem calling out your “flaws” (at least in my experience). I remember when I was younger, before our summer trips to India I made sure I was on a diet. I didn’t want to be called out for my weight or didn’t want to hear “Karina you need to stop growing so tall, you are never going to find a boy to marry”. My goal was always to keep as much attention off me as possible!”

— Karina Shivdasani

A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.

Enjoy Karina’s story of becoming. I watch her company or social media and admire the way she is so passionate about uplifting others and spreading love! I have learned so much from her about connection and commitment. I know you will too! Please welcome, Karina.

Karina Shivdasani

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Hi there! My name is Karina, and I the founder of a Kind Fashion company called Common Assembly. Aside from that, I am a newly certified Reiki practitioner, I am a woman that is learning how to be vibrantly and fully me, and I'd like to think I spread fairy dust and make people smile =)

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?

I was always scared of being bold! I was scared of taking risks! I was afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone. Honestly, as a child, I was also afraid of speaking and letting my voice be heard. So I jumped into starting my own business, called Common Assembly. I tend to go 0-60 and dive into things when I have those few moments of courage that divinely come when we need it the most.

I wanted to share something with you all. I often get asked, how did you come up with the idea of kindness in fashion?There is a short answer to this, but I feel compelled to tell you the whole story…my story…

I grew up with a lot of insecurities. I always felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt too chubby, not pretty enough, too tall, and I hated my “Bugs Bunny” teeth. I am an Indian-American, and within my culture people have no problem calling out your “flaws” (at least in my experience). I remember when I was younger, before our summer trips to India I made sure I was on a diet. I didn’t want to be called out for my weight or didn’t want to hear "Karina you need to stop growing so tall, you are never going to find a boy to marry". My goal was always to keep as much attention off me as possible!

In my late teens I finally felt like I was climbing in my confidence. I was shedding my baby weight, and finally felt like I had a voice. Silly story- but my greatest challenge/accomplishment at that time was running for Student Council President my junior year. OMG when I had to give my election speech in front of everyone I nearly peed my pants, I was TREMBLING. But I won..little ol’ me…I actually won, people liked me, and they liked what I had to say. I literally remember thinking “Life is good, everything is going great…I could get used to this”. And like a flip of a switch, my world changed overnight, and it left me feeling broken and lost.

What had happened was a complete freak accident…the type of thing you see in the movies. My brother fell off a 3rd floor balcony one night (he was 22, I was 18). His accident left him paralyzed from the waist down. I won’t dive into everything- but use your imagination. It was a surreal experience for me and my family. We went through all the stages of grief, the “Why ME?”, the “How can you God?”, and when we were done fighting and got to a place of acceptance, the healing started.

For us healing was diving into spirituality. Reading books by authors like Dr. Wayne Dyer, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Anita Moorjani and attending their seminars all over the U.S. At first I was not open to this: Your thoughts matter? Positivity? …seemed like this was all just some coping mechanism to escape reality and pretend like everything was ok. But then I actually started to listen. I learned about how important it is to honor yourself, your feelings, and to take care of yourself first. I learned that self-care is not selfish. And in practice that my perspective and my life started to shift. I felt lighter, I allowed myself to come face to face with the pain I was still holding, I had tough conversations to finally open up and tell my family what I was going through (rather than always being strong for them). I finally saw me for me and honored what I needed. That was my magic.

This brings us to today, almost 14 years later. It has been quite a ride, but one that we are grateful for. Our lives changed, but for the better. Out of this “tragedy” was born so much good. Vik, my brother, is a life coach helping other people overcome adversity in their lives. My parents and some family members started a nonprofit organization called Infinite Love, which is serving South Texas with love, sacred shared space, and community. And me, it has brought me to a place where I can fulfill my passion!

Through these experiences, I have recognized that all the emotions I felt were#realcommon. People everywhere have their version of my story. My heart is in helping women through their journeys and creating a community that highlights and supports everything we have in common. When we feel good, we do good, and for women “feeling good” often translates to how we dress and self-express. When we are kinder to ourselves and honor our authentic selves, we have more capacity to help others. That journey ignited my passion for creating Common Assembly. With the thought to one day create this business, I followed a fashion merchandising career path as an Apparel Buyer for a nationwide corporate retailer. Now, I am ready to share my journey with the world.

Common Assembly was born out of a passion to provide women fashion they could feel good about, one that would fill your closet and your soul. We believe kindness is the thread that connects us all, and we do our part to weave it into everything we do. We’re committed to Kindness for the Common Good.

How did it feel getting started?:

Lots of emotions. I first was on cloud nine thinking the Universe is going to support me fully, and I will be an overnight success. Things did not go so smoothly, and I broke down feeling like a failure within the first few months, and what was my passion project turned into my most significant stressor. It took me a moment to recognize the hardships were the biggest blessings. Then, as I surrendered to the situation, grew, and learned from an open perspective, it shifted back to becoming the beautiful passion project that fulfills me and brings me so much joy.

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you started your business?

There were a lot; literally, nothing was going smoothly. It felt like I couldn't catch a break, third party agencies that we signed on with did not work out, customer outreach was not as strong as we hoped, we had technical difficulties with the site.

What motivates you to grow Common Assembly?

Creating a Kind Fashion company fills me so much. I love fashion; I love seeing women feel good in how they are expressing themselves, I love creating a work culture that supports my team's emotional, soul, and career growth, I love creating content for our kind blog, I love and honor the opportunity to connect with and hopefully enrich someone else's life.

Which living person do you most admire?

My mom. She is the walking definition of what the embodiment of unconditional love is.

Which talent would you most like to have?

I would love the ability to play the guitar, piano, tabla (Indian drums), and sitar. Music moves me deeply.

What is your most marked characteristic?

This is a hard question. I believe it would be my compassion and soft demeanor.

Do you have a motto you turn to often?

"Life doesn't happen to you; it happens for you."

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

1)Coming out of my shell 2) Using my voice 3) Being bold when it mattered most

What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in the mud?

Remembering that it is just my perception of keeping me there. I practice being aware of it, acknowledging it, and allowing the feels to be there. Once I have allowed myself to feel, I breathe through it and work on shifting my perception to a greater, more expansive place.

What's one piece of advice you'd give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

YOU CAN DO IT! The hard times are your most significant gift.

What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?

Live authentically, live fully. That is the greatest gift you can do for yourself.

You can find Karina and Common Assembly on their

Website , Facebook , Instagram

Hi friend!

Welcome to Bright Light.

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.

Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.

I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.

I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.

You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Buy The Courage to Become

We all need reminders of how loved we are. I know that when I need support being my best self - a quick reminder that I am worthy and loved does the trick! Snag some goodies from my shop and treat yourself to a soul pick-me-up.

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 8/30/20 Catia Holm 8/30/20

Courage to Become | Hayley Hengst

“A few months after THAT, my husband, for whom my puppy love had somehow managed to remain strong for ever since I was 15 years old, sat me down on our back patio, with a bottle of wine, rain pouring down in buckets around us, and informed me that the feeling wasn’t mutual #hegone

And the gene that contributed to my mom’s cancer? Yeah, I was a carrier as well.

That was a hell of a year.

Turns out this stage of life IS hard...in ways I had been quite naïve to when I penciled the article.”

A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.

Enjoy Hayley’s story of becoming. Hayley is a writer, a great one. She has a gift and I am honored that she shared it with us. Hayley and I wrote together at Austin Moms Blog and I always admired how adept she was at sharing her point of view so beautifully with the world. She’s really something else and I know you will adore her. Please welcome, Hayley!

Hayley Hengst from On a Lighter Note

“This Stage of Life? It’s Hard”.

That was the title of a blog post I wrote about five years ago now, that went viral. Then it went viral again. Then again. It was shared over 200,000 times, reached people in at least 10 different countries, got translated into other languages, and for at least two years after writing it, I continued to receive messages and emails from people all over the world telling me how much the article impacted them....how deeply the words resonated....how relieved they were to know they weren’t the only one who felt the same range of emotions the article described.

Kids. Marriage. Sick kids. Troubled marriage. Parenting decisions. Infertility. Miscarriage. The working mom versus stay-at-home mom debate. In the stage of life where you have young kids at home, the struggle is real, and can encompass any number of difficulties.

When I wrote that article, I felt like my “stage of life” was difficult, sure, but not in a tragic way. Just in a mundane “my kid has an ear infection as I write this, my house is a mess, I can’t figure out a good sleep schedule for my newborn, and I’m completely conflicted if I want to send my kindergartner to public versus private school” kind of way.

Happily married with three kids under 6, I was a bit taken off guard by some of the emails that came flooding in as a result of that article....readers regaling me with tales of why THEIR stage of life was hard....and it was indeed difficult stuff. Children with cancer. Husbands who had left them. Financial devastation. I felt sympathetic for these people, while at the same time (if I’m being honest) relieved that my woes were more of the “normal life problem” variety.

Fast forward two years. Fast forward just TWO years, and my mom was diagnosed with late-stage ovarian cancer.

A few months after THAT, my husband, for whom my puppy love had somehow managed to remain strong for ever since I was 15 years old, sat me down on our back patio, with a bottle of wine, rain pouring down in buckets around us, and informed me that the feeling wasn’t mutual #hegone

And the gene that contributed to my mom’s cancer? Yeah, I was a carrier as well.

That was a hell of a year.

Turns out this stage of life IS hard...in ways I had been quite naïve to when I penciled the article.

I’ll save you all the gory details of what the three years sandwiched between THEN and NOW consisted of, but here’s what I WILL say:

When Catia reached out to me and asked me to be a part of her Courage to Become Series, I was incredibly honored. I had read some of the articles other people had written for this series, but not all of them. So I went back and read more. And thought, “um. Why did she ask me to participate in this? I’m not sure I belong in this group. What exactly HAVE I had the courage to become?”.

I thought about it or a while. What I ultimately realized, was this:

After a long hard road, years of which were spent living in the shadow of someone else...years more spent trying to rebuild what “someone else” tore apart....I simply (recently) (finally) have the Courage to just....Become.

“Become”, as in “an active, ongoing, process”. Not necessarily as in “an end-point".

Sound like a cop-out answer?

It’s not.

You see, I’d spent my entire life (well, my entire life since age 15, anyway), just “becoming” what I thought someone else (my husband) wanted me to be. That’s dumb anyway, but in my case, it didn’t even freaking pan out well.

How in the WORLD had I forgotten to ask myself questions like:

What do YOU want?
Who are YOU, separate from HIM?
What’s important to YOU?
What do you want YOUR life to be about?

I don’t know how I’d forgotten to ask those questions, but I had, and it was time to start asking them.

Had my life not fallen apart, maybe I never would have asked. I’m not sure you can become who you are meant to be UNTIL you ask.

So I'm asking them now, and if I’m being honest, the answers are still a little grey. You don’t go 36 years of life NOT thinking through those things, and then all of the sudden have clear answers to them. “Grey” is a transitionary color though, right? It’s in-between black and white. Moving from white, into black, I suppose. As I’ve begun to ask the questions and sort through the answers, here are a few things I do know:

• I want to write. Writing is what I love. It’s what I’m good at. It’s what other people tell me I’m good at. It’s what makes me feel most like me. Why had I not been doing that?

....and so I’ve started writing again. I’ve started a new blog. It’s called The Lighter Note Show. It’s taking off well. I’ve started submitting writings for other websites...and they’re getting accepted. I’ve been paid for a few. I’ve decided I’m going to write a book.

I want to co-host a podcast with one of my best friends. The overwhelming response I received to the Stage of Life blog post all those years ago made me realize that maybe more than anything else, people appreciate “relatable”. They appreciate feeling like they aren’t the only ones who feel the way they do sometimes. That other people have the same struggles and woes and awkwardness and weird thoughts. They also need an excuse to laugh sometimes. I wanted to create a podcast that provided that outlet for people. So why hadn’t I, yet?
…..and so I did. I’m not sure where it will go or what it will lead to, but I’m DOING it at least, and working on the podcast is one of my favorite parts of life right now

I want to challenge myself. I want to set goals that are hard, make a plan to achieve them, and then achieve them. I don’t want to ever become stagnant and “blah” and aimless again. When and why had I become that in the first place?
….. and so I trained for a 15 mile “heavy half” marathon this year. Ran it. And climbed a mountain, too. The highest peak in Colorado, thank you.

Possibly most importantly, I want to love my little boys well. I want them to feel loved, cherished, secure, and happy.
…..and so there is a lot of apologizing in our house. As in, “me to them”. It’s hard to be the patient, kind, gentle and loving mom you want to be when you are emotionally stretched thin, but there’s a lot to be said for apologizing. Being honest with them. Admitting mistakes. Being vocal and expressive in my love for them. Being honest about what’s hard and crappy, but also highlighting all that is good and wonderful and positive.

Some of you impressive and awe-inspiring women in this series have had the Courage to Become some pretty amazing things. You’ve become doctors. Lawyers. Life coaches. Wildly successful photographers. I’m still convinced you guys are all in a different league than me.

I feel certain though there are others of you out there who, like me, lost yourselves along the way somehow. As a result, you may not feel like you’ve “become” anything at all. While I’m certain that isn’t entirely true...you’ve become SOMETHING...you’ve become a wife, or a mother, or a beloved friend....it COULD be true that you haven’t become what you were MEANT to become. Yet. Maybe you haven’t asked yourself the important questions. Maybe you’ve spent too much time trying to become what someone ELSE wanted you to become. Maybe the fact that it’s actually POSSIBLE to become something that makes you feel proud of yourself and fulfilled has eluded you.

I’d encourage you to ask yourself the important questions:

• What do I want out of life?

• Who am I, at my core?

• What makes me feel most alive?

• What is my purpose?

• What am I good at....something I know I’m good at...others tell me I’m good at...I enjoy it....but I’m holding back?

• What am I waiting for?

It takes courage to even ask yourself the questions to begin with. It’s worth it, though.

I’d love to write the book. Have the successful podcast. Climb another mountain. Be able to pat myself on the back daily for a Parenting Job Well Done. If I do all of those things, maybe I will have “become”.

For right now though, there is a lot of beauty in the “becoming”. The process. I don’t want to speed through that.

So cheers to us...the works in progress. May we simply have the courage to BECOME...period.

About Hayley:

Hello From the Other Side

The "single gal" side, that is. The "after the dust has settled a bit" side. The "am I experiencing PTSD from the drama and trauma of the last two years?" side. Kidding, kidding. No PTSD here.

Probably anyone reading this already knows me, and could do without an "About Me". I used to write all the time, and back then, I wrote everything "about me" anyone could ever care to know, and then some, I'm sure. I wrote for Austin Moms Blog. I wrote for my own blog, Mother Freaking. I wrote for Her View From Home. I pretty much was an open book. A lot has changed in my life since then, though (a lot has stayed the same, too).

What's changed?

-I'm not married anymore. This is a negative development on almost all fronts, but I suppose the "positive" aspect of it is that my writings will no longer be chalk full of corny references to my high school sweetheart relationship, that no one wants to hear about. I mean, I thought it was cute. But I guess not. Another positive could be that maybe you'll get to hear some tales of WHAT in the actual WORLD a 38-year old who has never been single, does in the dating world? (If you have any tips or suggestions, please...by all means).

-I don't live with a man anymore. This means there is a lot of pink in my house. I've hated pink my whole life, and then suddenly it was like "If I WANTED to have pink stuff I could"...and so I did.

What's the Same?

- I'm still mama to Three Little Manimals (that's man+animal)

- They still crazy AF

- Writing is still my favorite thing in all of the world. No wait...reading. Writing is a very close second though.

- It's still a toss-up if my Happy Place is a bubble bath, sitting in front of a fire, or lying in the sun. Warmth...just give me warmth. Throw in some sort of a twinkle light situation while you're at it. Throw in a book and maybe some wine, too.

Other Things...

- I think the song "The Weight" by the The Band is the best song of all time, and no matter how many people argue this opinion (fact) with me, I'll never change my mind

- I can't shuffle cards for shit, and one actual GOAL of mine (this is pitiful) during quarantine was to "Perfect My Shuffle Game". I've got the shuffle. Still can't get the stupid bridge.

- I worked at a gym in high school. Some guys that worked there called me at the front desk, secretly, from a back office, pretending that their dad was at the gym working out, and a family emergency had occurred. They needed me to page him. His name was Mr. Jack Meoff. "Please, can you page him". I did. Multiple times. Thus revealing to the world what I already knew...I'm a bit low on common sense. It's fine. I've accepted it, and feel that likely, it means I'm a genius. Like some sort of mad scientist.

You can follow Hayley’s journey at

On a Lighter Note Facebook // On a Lighter Note

pier straigh forward with books - Copy.jpg

Hi friend!

Welcome to Bright Light.

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.

Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.

I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.

I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.

You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Buy The Courage to Become

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 8/13/20 Catia Holm 8/13/20

Valley, I believe in you. Thank you for believing in me. Until Soon.

The first time I left The Valley, I was 18.

In 2001, I graduated Weslaco High School and was starting my university days at UT. Weslaco was home. It was where I went to school, where my friends were, and where my family was.

I was excited but also nervous. I remember sitting in those large auditorium-style classrooms and looking around thinking, I don’t know anyone. I went back to the teeny dorm room that I shared with a stranger and wrote my dad an email. It said something like, “Dad, I’m just a number here – no one cares about me. I miss home.” I was in business school, and the people around me were SMART and FROM THE CITY! It was a stark contrast to growing up in Weslaco. In Weslaco ( a one high school town back then) I always knew my teachers and principals and let’s face it, every teacher I had knew my parents were involved – so I always felt like I mattered. I did not feel ANY of that at UT.

My dad wrote me back and told me to keep trying. He reminded me that all I had accomplished in Weslaco was not overnight; it all took time. And so I stayed, and I tried. I made friends, got involved – and three years later – I graduated. **Interesting side note. I graduated from high school with a lot of college credit – thanks, WHS! Go Panthers!! And so my parents told me this before I left for UT, “We will only pay for three years of college. So, earn your degree in 3 years.” And since I am the oldest and I believed everything they said, and since I didn’t have any money – I earned my degree in three years. I would later learn - that was a lie – and they would have paid for my college for as long as it took. Parents. LOL

I’d come back weekends to watch my younger brothers play football and for any other important occasion – you know how Mexican families are. Together.

After UT, I went to graduate school in Houston and was further away from The Valley. But I always knew I could come home. I knew there were people —my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends that feel more like angels --- who wanted me to visit.

In my 20s, I traveled, I dated, explored with my young life – but like a boomerang, I always came back home.

When Guapo and I were early on in our relationship – he would say things like, “it’s your parents’ home, it’s not your home.” And I’d say, “No. It is my home.” And he’d always stay confused – wondering why a 29-year-old woman would still call her parents’ home - home. I remember the first time he came to Christmas in The Valley. We gave him a uniform, and he worked Christmas Eve at Holiday Wine and Liquor – like a good boyfriend!

I managed the store; he managed the line of customers. At that time, Guapo was a pretty accomplished lawyer – and he wasn’t exactly used to working late on Christmas Eve helping customers out to their car with boxes – but he was in love!

Later that night, we went to my Abuelita’s for buñelos and tamales, and he had a big grin. “This is so nice.” “Yes, it is,” I said.

—

When Alexandra was only a few months old, Carlos, my youngest brother and I rented a home. It was a three-bedroom house—one bedroom for Carlos, one for me, and one for Alexandra. One week a month – Alexandra and I would drive from Austin to McAllen. My mom got to spend time with Alexandra, and I got to work at Holiday. We’d have pizza night and movie night – and God bless Carlos and his now-wife Ashley – I’d be pumping breast milk and interrupt their date to take the breast milk to the refrigerator. The things we do!

Uncle Los being epic with baby Alexandra

Guapo and I grew, and Luciana came along, and we moved to Central America. And the more and more Guapo evolved as a papa – the more he said things like, “I am never leaving the girls. They can always live with us; maybe I’ll pay them not to go to college and hang out with me.” I looked at him and said, “You’re a Mexican dad, after all.”

And then, in casual conversation, I said, “Imagine Alexandra marrying someone and moving to another country. Imagine having to travel 12 hours to see your kid.”

That notion sat with us and when we knew we were coming back to the US – we said, “Let’s go be with family for a while.” And so after Central America, in October of 2019, we moved back to The Valley.

The last year has been full of transitions.

New schools, friends, a new house, a change in lifestyle, and then, Corona. My goodness.

Guapo and the girls and I have been through a ton.

When Corona started in March, Guapo got sick, and we thought it was Corona. Guapo had already quarantined for ten days in our room. So I was the mom, nurse, cleaning lady around the clock for a few weeks – and I was already frazzled. Then one morning, his lips became discolored, and so we decided that he go to the ER. But moms don’t get to fall apart – at least not right away – because there’s still snack time, playtime, lunchtime, and bedtime. He packed his bag and went to the ER, and I did THE GROUP TEXT—the one where you ask people for help and prayers.

Immediately, everyone came to bat in big ways.

My Uncle dropped food on my doorstep, and within the hour, a family friend had called her suegra – and the suegra worked at the hospital, and she was able to get me information on Guapo that I would not have gotten otherwise. People just sent us their love in whatever way they could. Paper goods so I wouldn’t have to wash dishes, flowers, food, prayers. Love looks like a lot of things.

Christmas Brunch with framily - December 2019

During our time here, the girls have played with family, eaten raspas, and walked through the Valley Lemon orchards. They were flower girls for the first time and got to see their Uncle Los and Tia Ashley marry. When we drive by Weslaco stadium, Luci yells, “Panthers! Mommy – you went to Panthers!”

Weslaco High School Football game - October 2019

Alexandra sings the Holiday Wine and Liquor jingle every time she passes a Holiday. Alexandra just kind of thinks everyone has a business. She asked her grandparents to give her a building ( an entire one) – so she can open a gift shop. She wants to sell lemonade from the gift shop for $5.00. It’s excellent lemonade.

Alexandra and her Uncle Los at Holiday Wine and Liquor

For a while, Alexandra called it, “Mexi-callen,” instead of McAllen.

The girls have had so much fun with my parents. One night, my mom told Alexandra, “mi casa es su casa.” So about a month ago as we were leaving my parent’s house – Alexandra rearranged some decorations. And she said, “this is my house too.” “Yes, it is sweet girl.”

By being here in The Valley, I got to remember what it was like to feel The Valley breeze and see the palm trees swaying in the wind. I got to see friends on a quick run to the grocery store and be called, Catia Hernandez. And people ask – even still – are you David and Nellie’s girl? Yes, I am.

My 36th birthday cake and song in my dad’s office

I was able to officiate the wedding for my brother and sister-in-law.

Getting to officiate my brother’s and sister-in-law’s wedding

Plus, I got to be with my parents during all of this Corona mess. Did you know I have worked for my parents pretty much my entire life? I do ALL sorts of things for Holiday Wine and Liquor and the Texas Valley Lemons – but I was able to kick it into high gear for Holiday when Corona hit – and that was a big blessing.

And even with all the junk going on – I was able to get grounded. To feel loved and welcomed – to see old friends, to take morning walks on familiar trails.

I was able to spend Sunday afternoons with my folks and ask my mom for help with things that I could do myself if I had to. And, this was the first time in a long time that I was able to celebrate mother’s day and father’s day with my folks – in person!

I drove on the farm and got stuck in the mud. I was able to get all my art fixed up by my favorite frame shop and eat greasy taqueria. I even taught Guapo how to say things like, “this chick.” (You will only get this is you’re from The Valley.)

The Valley and this community is so dear to me.

Many people here have believed in me and have given me actual opportunities. They have taken leaps of faith on me, and I am truly humbled by it.

They’ve let me lead their groups, invited me to sit on boards, loaned me their church alters, supported my book and become my clients.

Guys, the Barnes and Noble on Nolana ( in McAllen) gave me my first ever Barnes and Noble book placement, got posters printed with my face on it, and held a book signing for me. Then, on book signing day – the staff gave me a locket that I still wear to this day. I’m grateful to Barnes and Noble – but I know that wasn’t Barnes and Noble – that was Valley people supporting other Valley people.

The Valley believes in me – and I believe in The Valley.

Fernando Rivera, Kay Jancik, me, Erren Seale - at a public speaking event at St. John’s Episcopal - May 2018

Susie Robertson and me - love her! - at a public speaking event - May 2018

Dora Brown and me at a keynote address for RGV Women of Purpose - March 2018

A keynote address - RGV Women of Purpose - March 2018

Emceeing - The Festival of Color - October 2019

Vanessa Pardo and Monique Condes - my girlfriends who always cheer me on!

When my edges are unraveling – The Valley, Weslaco, my parents, my family – they shore me up. They get me good and strong for the next adventure. And that’s what the last year has felt like.

Tomorrow, I will leave The Valley again.

We bought our first home (does this make me a real adult?), and we are going to settle in for a while, hopefully, a long while.

I’m looking at all the cardboard boxes I’ve packed, our rental house in shambles, teary and grateful for the last year.

Guapo and the girls drove ahead, and so I have some time to write and think.

I never quite know where life is taking me ( us ), but I am happy that I got to come back to The Valley, and live here – with my handsome mid-western husband and my two amazing girls.

In my work, sometimes parents ask me, “how do I get my kids to stay, to come back? I don’t want them to leave.” And I always say, “Be kind, actively welcome them. Don’t try to control them. Give them stability. Create a safety net of love and understanding. Cook them a meal. Leave space in your life for them – maybe even some space in your house. Let them explore and play and always welcome them home for love.”

My mom and dad are coming over tonight. They are bringing me Koko’s fajitas, and we are going to have a socially distanced last supper before tomorrow’s big move. And I am just full of gratitude.

The Valley is in a tough spot right now, but it’s such a special place. Full of grit and love and hope.

Valley – you’re such good people. I believe in you. I believe in your dreams. I believe you are strong. I know you will overcome.

Until soon, friends. You know I’ll be back.

Hi friend!

Welcome to Bright Light.

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.

Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.

I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.

I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.

You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Buy The Courage to Become

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 8/5/20 Catia Holm 8/5/20

Courage to Become | Melissa Gauna

It was challenging going back to school while raising two young boys. But my husband was very supportive, and we made it work. It took me about 5-6 years to finish and complete my certifications as a holistic nutritionist and Nutritional Therapist. I'd travel from Atlanta, GA to Austin, TX, for exams, but I did it. It took time, sleepless nights of studying, reading, and researching, but it has been worth it.

A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.

Enjoy Melissa’s story of becoming. I watch her on social media and admire the way she is so passionate about health and wellness for herself, and for her community. I have learned so much from her about nourishing our bodies. I know you will too! Please welcome, Melissa

Melissa Gauna, NTP, CHNC of Nutritional Therapy Services

Tell us a little bit about yourself:

Professionally, I'm a Nutritional Therapist who focuses on gut health and autoimmune conditions. I had some health challenges in the past, which I overcame using food.

Also, I'm a momma to 2 strong-willed boys, wife to a wonderfully loving, supportive husband, and I have a newfound love for house plants and herb gardens. As a nutritionist, I am passionate about my work and thoroughly enjoy helping others make dramatic improvements to their health.

I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma outside of Tulsa and will forever treasure the memories and friends made there. I now live in south Texas, in the Rio Grande Valley and have felt right at home as soon as I moved here. I believe in continuous self-improvement, in learning from others, and staying grounded. I love coffee, baking gluten-free goodies & spending time outdoors with my feet in the dirt/sand/grass!

On many occasions, you will find me [with a glass of organic red wine in tow] in the backyard following my husband around as he tends to the flower garden, lawn, and all of our beautiful plants. He's got the green thumb!

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?

After I graduated from college with a business degree, I worked for a few years in marketing and sales. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it either. It was a paycheck. When I was growing up, the feeling was that you should go to school, find a good-paying job, and move up the corporate ladder. But it didn't feel right. I remember being at work daydreaming of being out there in the world doing anything else but doing the job I was doing then. The concept seemed foreign to me because I was raised believing that doing something on your own was too risky; you could fail and lose money, which would be irresponsible.

But it was always in the back of my mind to quit what I was doing and change careers. I dreamed of making my schedule, calling the shots in my own life and career. I didn't want to spend time making someone else money; I wanted to work independently. And life has a funny way of working out. Your thoughts have power.

My husband and I had decided to start a family, and I quit the sales job and focused on raising my family. After my first son, my health deteriorated, and to make a long story short; I exhausted my options in the conventional medical world. I went to many doctors, specialists, and everything in between. I couldn't find answers, and by God's grace, I somehow started reading and learning about how certain foods can affect skin conditions; I was dealing with debilitating eczema at the time. And from then, my life changed.

I found healing through food and decided that I wanted to help others heal as well. And the rest is history. I now work with my Nutritional Therapy clients and work at a local clinic here in Edinburg twice a week. More importantly, I have more freedom and call the shots in my own life and career. I make my schedule and have the freedom to walk away from any job/work that doesn't feel right. My work has a purpose, which to me - is more valuable than working for a paycheck.

How did it feel getting started?

Changing careers was not an easy decision. Your fear can hold you back, and I was afraid of what others would say. I worried that my business degree had been a waste of time. I worried about going back to school while my kids were little. And I talked myself out of it many times, thinking, "just stick to what you already know."

But I needed purpose. The idea of leaping was scary, but I kept thinking to myself, "I can't go back to corporate America." I had to do it.

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started changing career paths?

It was challenging going back to school while raising two young boys. But my husband was very supportive, and we made it work. It took me about 5-6 years to finish and complete my certifications as a holistic nutritionist and Nutritional Therapist. I'd travel from Atlanta, GA to Austin, TX, for exams, but I did it. It took time, sleepless nights of studying, reading, and researching, but it has been worth it.

What motivates you to stay on this career path?

Helping others heal is a great motivator. And knowing you are making a difference in people's lives is very rewarding. When a client calls to tell me that their doctor took them off medication because of the changes they made to their diet and lifestyle, that's worth celebrating. Or when a client who has suffered from stomach issues most of their life writes to tell me that they no longer fear eating out with friends or no longer worry about running to the restroom or having an accident; you know their quality of life has improved!

Which living person do you most admire?

I admire my mother the most. She's been my biggest cheerleader all of my life. She loved being a stay at home, and I remember she was always there for my siblings and me growing up. She's a true nurturer, but don't get me wrong, she also pushed us hard. She expected a lot from us, which helped us not give up easily and be more disciplined.

When you're young, it's easy to give up on things that are hard and take the easy road, for example, school. But my parents, [particularly my mom] always pushed us not to be afraid of dreaming big. She taught us to take pride in everything we did and not settle for less than we deserve.

Which talent would you most like to have?

Honestly, I wish I had the gift of being organized. I can get distracted easily, so that can make it a challenge to stay on task when trying to organize my workspace, my living space, my time, etc..

What is your most marked characteristic?

I believe a marked feature of mine is a thirst for knowledge. I thoroughly enjoy reading and learning new things; I am almost always enrolled in some online courses. You could say I'm a course junkie.

What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?

There's a famous saying by Ben Franklin, "nothing is certain except death and taxes." However, somehow that evolved into a spin-off for me that goes something like, "there's always a solution to every problem, except death and taxes." This motto helps me remain solution-oriented; rather than focusing and lamenting over a particular problem. I accept the challenge and focus all of my attention on finding a solution. This is something I teach my boys, as well. When they're upset about something that has happened, whether in school or with friends, I remind them to focus on finding a solution. I feel people sometimes find themselves too focused on their problems when they should focus all of their energy on finding a solution to change their situation.

So I tell my kids, "don't' ever feel like there's a problem too big to solve; God's the answer, and we'll always find a solution." I never want my kids to feel like they're stuck or feel like there's no way out of a situation. I let them know they always have the power to change their situation and instill in them hope and strength within themselves to improve whatever makes them unhappy.

But I remind them, "there's no way out of death & taxes."

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

First of all, I'm proud to be raising two smart, curious, rambunctious boys. I'm proud to admit that I apologize to them when I'm wrong because I want them, it's ok to accept when your 'e wrong and work to make it right.

And of course, I feel proud to have completed a college degree, not only for myself but also because it made my parents proud. I'm proud to then have changed careers years later and go back to school again. And I'm also proud that my new career has been so fulfilling and that I'm able to help people get and stay healthy. It's a gratifying career.

What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in the mud?

What keeps me going is my faith and knowing that I am part of a bigger purpose; I believe we all have a purpose on this Earth and accept that life has challenges. It's how we face those challenges that make us who we are. My faith gives me hope, and so I hold onto it dearly.

What's one piece of advice you'd give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

One piece of advice I'd give to other women who are about to take a leap of faith is to trust the process. When you feel unhappy in a job, in a career, or in a relationship, that's God's way of telling you there's more out there. Find what gives you purpose, what fulfills you, and fiercely create a life you love.

What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?: To my 20-year-old self, I'd tell her to stop caring about what others think of her. When you're young, worrying about other people can hold you back because of fear. It's the fear of being criticized or ridiculed, which often keeps us from dreaming big and putting ourselves out there. I had a lot of that, and I wish I could've changed that.

Melissa Gauna, NTP, CHNC

Nutritional Therapy Services, LLC offers nutritional counseling to address digestive disorders, blood sugar dysregulation, weight loss, adrenal fatigue, hormonal imbalances, food sensitivities and more. Nutritional Therapist and Certified Holistic Nutritionist, Melissa Gauna, counsels clients on how to use food as medicine and how to transition from the Standard American Diet (SAD) to a nutrient-dense, whole-foods diet. She believes in bio-individuality and believes the body has the innate ability to heal itself, given the right foods.

Melissa teaches group classes, offers corporate wellness programs and also counsels one-on-one. She is very passionate about her work and building strong relationships with her clients. If you have doctor's orders to eat better, Melissa can help bridge the gap between doctor's orders and your efforts at home. Melissa partners with licensed practitioners in the Rio Grande Valley to create true partnerships in health.

Be sure to connect with Melissa on

Instagram // Facebook // and on her website - Heal Your Gut Love Your Body

Hi friend!

Welcome to Bright Light.

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.

Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.

I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.

I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.

You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Buy The Courage to Become

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 7/28/20 Catia Holm 7/28/20

Courage to Become | Lindsay Gath

The day that I got my first big call from my transplant coordinator, I remember where I was standing. As soon as she started to speak, I felt sick and started sweating, my heart was racing, and I was pacing the room as I went quickly through the questions they would ask on every call to make sure I was the right patient. As soon as she said there was a match, I sat down and felt a huge sense of relief and excitement flow over me.

A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.

Enjoy her story of becoming. I have never met Linsday in person, but I feel like she’s my friend! Her sister, Courtney, and I used to write together for Austin Moms Blog, and as I got to know Courtney better, I had the pleasure of crossing digital paths with Linsday. Her story brought me chills and tears. Women have phenomenal capacity. - Please welcome, Lindsay

Lindsay Gath

When Catia reached out about sharing my story in her Courage to Become series, I was honored that she thought of me. I wanted to share the most significant part of my life: I’ve received the gift of life through a living donor kidney transplant, but I also wanted to share my back story and what led to where I’m now.

When I was 11 years old (in 1992), I became extremely sick. For months I had been waking up with swollen ankles and puffy eyes, but I had felt normal up until then. After a doctor’s visit, we were sent on to different specialists to figure out what was wrong, because some of my blood work looked alarming. I eventually had a kidney biopsy that diagnosed me as having something called Membranoproliferative Glomerulonephritis (MPGN Type 1). I thought I was cool for knowing how to spell encyclopedia in the 3rd grade, but this took me to another level. We found out it was caused by Strep throat at some point, which I used to get frequently as a kid. I was treated and seen routinely to keep things under control, but I went throughout my childhood trying to ignore my chronic kidney disease and pretend I was no different from the other kids. It was just not something I wanted to focus on, but it could not be ignored a few times throughout my life. When I met my husband, he was aware of the “situation.” When we decided to try and have kids, I had to be monitored extremely closely. I delivered a few days after my due date with my son, but the second time around was slightly different. My kidneys were not fairing as well, and they ended up putting me on modified bed rest for a few days and then admitted me to the hospital for a few rounds of steroid injections to help improve the baby’s lung growth before delivery. Our daughter was delivered seven weeks early in December of 2007. Even though leaving her in the hospital as we headed home was one of the hardest things we’ve done, she was a tough little cookie and only spent 9 days in the NICU, which was much shorter than they anticipated. Over time my kidneys calmed down a bit, and life returned to “normal” with my regular nephrology check-ups and medications.

Fast forward to late 2016, when at one of my regular nephrology check-ups, I was told that my kidney function was around 25%, and I would need to start thinking and talking with family and friends about my future and the possibility of needing a transplant. I honestly was in a bit of shock, mainly because I would normally just attend my regular check-ups and keep moving along, not paying much attention to my kidney function as they always made it seem like I was stable. I have since learned to read my labs on my own like a hawk. When they told me it was time to start thinking of my options such as dialysis and transplant, I felt scared and sad about it, knowing that the possibility of this huge life change was closer than I ever expected. I couldn’t ignore it and pretend as if there was nothing wrong anymore either.

When I put my mind to something, a lot of times without even thinking it all the way through, I just jump in headfirst. It’s a blessing and a curse. This was one of those times, though, that I jumped. I had so much to live for, and I wanted to fight with everything I had in me. I made connections with anyone I could to get the right info I needed to push forward. I ended up finding out that you’re not always referred to a transplant center by your own doctor. You’re often referred straight to dialysis, and you call the transplant center yourself before they work with your doctor to start the process towards transplant, so I did just that. I called up a transplant center myself and started there. I was so nervous when I called them, and it felt bizarre to call up and say, “Hey. I need to get evaluated for a transplant. Can we set that up?” Once the ball was rolling, I was eventually evaluated in early 2017 at the University Transplant Center in San Antonio, TX.

I don’t know why exactly, but it felt like a natural step to let family and friends know through Facebook Live what was going on. Most of the people I had met in adulthood didn’t even know I had a chronic kidney disease because I never really made it a topic. It ended up being more than I expected as friends and family shared my videos, and my transplant center was overwhelmed with people that applied to see if they could be a living donor candidate for me. People that I didn’t even know personally. This still makes me so emotional to think about. I was blown away! I heard from friends that I had not seen or talked to in over 20 years, and friends of friends who lived out of state and had never met me that had applied to try and donate a kidney to me. And honestly, I still don’t even know everyone that did apply because, of course the transplant center couldn’t tell me who they all were. I hated not knowing so that I could properly thank every one of them for trying.

Donor testing started once I was approved for transplant and was made active on the UNOS (United Network of Organ Sharing) list, which would allow me to receive a kidney from a deceased donor. However, with my blood type (O+), I could be looking at anywhere from 5-8 years, because even though I would be a universal donor to all other blood types, I would only be able to receive from another O blood type. Knowing this made me push everywhere and anywhere I could to get closer to transplant with a living donor match. I wanted a preemptive transplant, which meant avoiding dialysis entirely if possible and getting to transplant before that was needed. There’s only a small window of when you can even be evaluated by a transplant facility vs. when you need dialysis to stay alive, and I was heading through that window quickly. Dialysis was a terrifying thought for me. Imagining having to spend so much time away from my family, and the other health complications that can come with it made me frustrated and feel a stronger sense of urgency. Every step forward in the transplant process was a huge accomplishment, but I also felt like I was in a race against time, because as your kidney function declines, it can decline faster and faster towards the end. By the time I was active on the UNOS list, my kidney function had decreased and was now under 20% in total. They usually start testing those that are closest to you and work their way outward with the thinking that those closest to you would be more committed to going through the whole process.

When I got my first big call from my transplant coordinator, I remember where I was standing. As soon as she started to speak, I felt sick and started sweating, my heart was racing, and I was pacing the room as I went quickly through the questions they would ask on every call to make sure I was the right patient. As soon as she said there was a match, I sat down and felt a huge sense of relief and excitement flow over me. The match was my sister. As soon as I got off the phone, I text my husband and said, “I need you to call me.” I knew he would be in meetings, but we also had an understanding that if anything new or serious happened -- well, he knew when it was an urgent matter as we felt we were always on call. I would answer every single ring of my phone just in case. My sister would be sent on through further testing to make sure she would be healthy enough to donate because that is the most important thing to make certain at that point.

Weeks later, our roller coaster took another turn as my husband was leaving work to head home. When he got in his car, my mom was calling him. My sister had found out earlier that day that they had found some kidney stones (of all things) during her donor testing, and even though she hadn’t been affected by them, she was no longer able to donate. There would be a concern that I would then have complications from kidney stones, or that my sister would be left with one kidney and have complications. My mom and sister were struggling with letting me know, so my husband came home to give me the news that we were back to square one. At that moment, I was sad and exhausted, but I also knew that it would all be okay eventually. I was sad that I wasn’t going to share that moment with my sister because she’s the person I’m closest to other than my husband. With this news also came that my brother-in-law (my sister’s husband) had gotten a call right after my sister had hung up with the transplant coordinators about her quandary and was told that he was a match. It didn’t make sense, though, because he wasn’t even the same blood type as me. It ended up being a massive miscommunication on the transplant teams’ part, so the range of emotions that day was honestly enough to drain me for a while. There were a few mishaps, but I do see how it happens. Every person involved is in it for the end goal, for extending life and health, and they care about you deeply.

I knew that my sister’s best friend was also one of the ones that they had tested more recently around this time. I had grown up knowing her, admiring her, and she’s just plain fun to be around. She’s one of the most passionate and well-meaning people I’ve ever met, and she cares about people deeply. At one point during testing, she had called and asked me more about how the paired exchange program worked and how that would help me if she were not a match for me. A paired donation is where one recipient from one pair is compatible with the donor from another pair, and vice versa. The transplant center may arrange for a “swap,” but it can also lead to donation chains where multiple donors and recipients are involved. This is also the Shea Jones that Catia featured in her Courage to Become series in June of this year. The day I got my second call was a weekend in September of 2017. My husband and son were out running some errands with me, and as we were driving, my phone rang, and it was my sister’s best friend, Shea.

I could tell in her voice that something serious was happening. She told me she was my match, and as my heart raced and I took it all in, the tears started to flow. Shea asked me, “You’re crying because this is good, right?” She wondered if October 26th would work, which was literally about a month later. Anytime would have worked for me honestly. I couldn’t believe it. It’s not as easy finding a match as the movies make it look, so the fact that my sister brought this person into our life could not have been more perfect. Shea and I called my sister on a 3-way call and told her right away, together. We were now in this as one unit, and it just felt right.

About two weeks before I had gotten that call from Shea, I had the most real dream I had ever woken up from wherein I had found out that Shea was my match. I had told my husband and kids about it and had even text my family about it. On the morning of October 26th, 2017, that dream came true. From the day I initially contacted the transplant center until the day of surgery, almost exactly a year had gone by. The night before transplant, Shea and I, along with our families, stayed close to the hospital as we had to be up extremely early. We met down in the hotel lobby before the sun was up along with our husbands and my sister before heading to the hospital, where our families joined us later. In pre-op, they had us separated until I asked if we could be together, and Shea said yes. I just needed her close by. It didn’t feel right any other way. Was I afraid of what was about to happen? Yes. But, I also had no other choice at that point. My kidney function was down to a total of 12% on the morning of transplant. They prepped us both, and I was doing good until they rolled Shea away and started her operation before taking me back. I was overcome with emotion and worried about Shea, and the reality of it all hit me. One of the nurses came over and hugged me tightly. When they rolled me back before I was put to sleep, I asked my doctor if Shea was doing okay, and he said she was. He told me she was right next door, and that if I looked up at the monitor above me, I could see her on the operating table. It was the last thing I remembered before they got me to sleep. During our concurrent surgeries, our husbands were updated by text as to how everything was going. When they hooked up Shea’s kidney inside me, he was told that the kidney started working immediately, which was fantastic news.

I woke up quickly after surgery and felt different already. It was amazing. Because I had been “sick” for so long, I felt this instant relief to my body. The air around me felt cleaner, and I just felt good. Shea and I were in different rooms, me in ICU, but we were on the same hospital floor. We FaceTimed and talked for a bit, and my husband caught the whole thing on video, which is quite funny to look back at now. We were both pretty doped up still, and our families were in our rooms, which felt like one big party. At one point, Shea’s nurse had come into the room, and I met her through FaceTime, and Shea asked how soon we could see each other. The nurse told us probably the next day, but if you know both Shea and me, that was not the answer we were willing to accept. Shea convinced one of her nurses late that night if she could be wheeled to my room, and we got to see each other that day.

The next day I was moved out of my ICU room, closer to her, and we were able to walk the halls together soon after. My lab numbers, especially kidney function, improved hourly it seemed, and we were thankful to head home just a few days later. To say the journey of transplant has been easy though, is not the full truth. It is rewarding and happy most of the time, but there have also been challenges. I went through acute rejection three short weeks after transplant, where I had to be admitted for some heavy-duty IV meds that thankfully stopped it from harming my new little kidney. I have had three kidney biopsies on the new kidney, too much lab work to count, medication changes and adjustments. I am on antirejection medications that suppress my immune system for the rest of my life. The energy that I now have and the deeper appreciation I have for, the smaller things in life are worth it! And I love carrying a piece of Shea with me forever. Seeing my scar reminds me daily of our connection.

One of the challenges I bring upon myself is that I often feel like I’m not doing enough to fully live with this extension on life that I’ve been given. I feel the need to push myself farther intentionally. I’m currently taking college classes full time right now, working on getting my bachelor's in Health Sciences from West Texas A&M and ultimately certification as a Child Life Specialist. This will allow me to walk alongside kids and their families in the medical journey they are on and advocate for them when they are in a tough space. I know exactly what it’s like to be there as a kid. In the meantime, I’ve had many connections open to me because of my experiences, which I love. I was able to help organize the National Kidney Foundation Walk in Austin in 2017. I have been able to use my voice in the kidney community because of another connection that I made after being asked to join as a Field Ambassador for the state of Texas through the oldest and largest, independent kidney patient organization in the U.S. – AAKP (American Association of Kidney Patients). I hope to become even more involved with them over time as they are an excellent resource for any patient (or family member) who has chronic kidney disease, is on dialysis, or is a transplant recipient. Meeting so many people in the kidney community and hearing all of their different stories has shown me that we all have perseverance when we need it. You may think it’s not there, but you can find it when you’re dealt with hard things. My hope in sharing the journey I’m living is that it reaches someone who needs it most. Organ donation is a very powerful thing, and I will be forever grateful for this life I’ve been given because of it.

If anyone would like to sign up to make that gift of life happen for another when they’re gone, they can go to www.registerme.org but also let their families know their wishes.

No need to take those organs with you if they can help someone in need.

Great resources for kidney patients: www.aakp.org

You can connect with Lindsay on her Instagram or Facebook Page.

Hi friend!

Welcome to Bright Light.

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.

Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.

I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.

I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.

You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Buy The Courage to Become

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 7/23/20 Catia Holm 7/23/20

Courage to Become | Dr. Danielle Fox

One month after my hospitalization, I woke up (the day after my 35th birthday) and could not feel my right hand. I could not hold onto anything and realized that I had developed a tremor. This was unfortunate, as we were in Las Vegas celebrating my birthday with my parents and one of our closest friends. Things continued from there, and, by August, I agreed to a spinal tap (the final piece to the diagnostic puzzle).
The results came in - Multiple Sclerosis. We were in shock. I had watched my husband's best friend from law school go through his MS diagnosis and seen what a hard time he had had. I was terrified. Deep down, I knew exactly what was going on but did not want to admit it to myself.

A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.

I have always admired Danielle and used to be intimidated by her. She always seemed so strong and in her power, and way back when - I didn’t know how to be like that, and so when I saw women operating in that way - it was a little scary! Eventually, my intimidation shifted to admiration. I have watched her and seen her work from afar, but I had no idea ALL that she was battling. She’s an absolute superhero. Please welcome, Danielle.

Dr. Danielle D. Fox

Ph.D., CRC, NBC-HWC

from Essentials for Integrative Health

Where do I begin?

When approached about writing about "my story," I was humbled and excited about the opportunity. Then reality set in, and I realized that I am not comfortable being so "open" about my story. The truth is that I have spent the past 22 years living my life and rolling with the punches without much thought about how my trials, tribulations, and triumphs may help or inspire others. With that being said, here goes!

The beginning

How did I get to where I am today? It truly is overwhelming when I sit and think about this. How do I get this whole story down into a page or two?

How do I tell this story? Well, bear with me as I try to do my best with it all. I will summarize how I ended up where I am today while focusing on the "big" events in my life that altered my course.

Who am I?

What a question, "Who am I?". Do any of us truly know who we are? As our lives change and take form and move in different directions, ebbing and flowing, the answer to this question most likely changes. I am today very different from who I was yesterday, last year, ten years ago, etc.

Which version of myself am I today?

I am an uber Type A, perfectionist personality. I am a doer! I push myself. I also can be quite stubborn, and I feel this has kept me going despite the obstacles thrown in my path.

I am also a wife, daughter, friend, Ph.D., Certified Rehabilitation Counselor, Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, Advocate, Ally, and the list goes on.

I am a genuine and fair individual, and I do my best to help others.

How did I get here?

I started dating my husband 22 years ago. I was working toward my bachelor's when we met and was in a place where I did not know what I wanted to do. Once we had been dating a while, Aaron encouraged me to finish school and figure out what I wanted to do. After many years of changing my major and finally deciding on Psychology, I realized that more school was in my future.

But first, we got married!

Aaron and I were married in 2003, and I couldn't do much with a Psych degree. I started evaluating graduate programs. At the time, Aaron and I were being moved to California, so I had applications to UC Bakersfield for a Master's in Clinical Psychology and an application to UTPA for Communication Disorders on my desk at home. I understand these are two different routes, but please bear with me. Aaron and I ended up staying in Texas, and I applied to the Communication Disorders program at UTPA. I was admitted to the Communication Disorders program as a Special Student. This required 27 undergraduate coursework hours before starting the master's level coursework.

I completed all requirements and found myself working as a Medical Speech-Language Pathologist in local hospitals in the Rio Grande Valley.

I loved what I was doing, and the hospital's fast pace was a good fit for my uber Type A personality. I was busy running around all day, and I loved my patients and their families.

I need to back up here for a minute.

Before my official working in hospitals, I had undergone a hysterectomy a week after my 30th birthday due to severe fibroid tumors. This is relevant because this change in my life course led me to seek more education.

While all of my friends were having children, I was looking for a Ph.D. program!

I found the Ph.D. in Rehabilitative Counseling program at UTPA (now UTRGV).

I spoke with the program director and discovered rehabilitative counseling as the perfect marriage of my communication disorders education and my psychology background. I applied to the program and was admitted. However, I did need to take 27 hours of master's level coursework before starting my Ph. D. level coursework. Wait, I am beginning to see a trend here.

This is where things changed…

I loved my Ph.D. program! I was working at 2 area hospitals as a medical speech-language pathologist and taking full-time Ph.D. level coursework. I was one busy person, and my uber Type A personality was thriving… or so I thought.

Before I share this part of the story, I will give some background. I have had neurological things going on here and there since I was about 14 years old. I was a dancer (ballet, tap, jazz, pointe, lyrical, hip-hop, tumbling, etc.), so I always attributed any "odd" sensations as a result of not stretching, too much stretching, or an injury. I would have bouts of extreme fatigue that, again, were attributed to doing too much. In January of the second semester of my first year of Ph.D. level coursework, I contracted pertussis from a child I was working within one of the hospitals. I am asthmatic and was more susceptible to developing full-blown pertussis. I had never been so sick in my life! I was still taking 12 hours of Ph.D. level coursework and working when I could. Things continued on a downhill trajectory from this point on (health-wise). That March, our home was destroyed by a once in a 100 years storm. I was still recovering from pertussis, and then the next storm hit.

While all of this was going on, I realized I had had severe pain in my left eye for almost two months. Naturally, I thought nothing of it and just dealt with it. It is probably a good time to report that my trainer had noticed some severe visual deficits and had been complaining about my vision for about 18 months.

By the time I started complaining about the severe stabbing pain in my eye, my vision was getting worse, and my balance was affected. I worked out with my trainer on a Saturday morning and could not hold my balance to save my life! I looked and felt drunk and, by the time I got home, my left eye was drooping. I thought I was having a stroke!

The diagnosis…

I called my eye doctor right then, and by Wednesday, I was in the neurologist's office. I was hospitalized the following Monday (I was in the middle of finals and negotiated my report date for the hospital). I was diagnosed with Optic Neuritis and was hospitalized for five days on an IV Solu-Medrol drip. At this time, everyone thought this was an isolated incident. We would soon find out otherwise. One month after my hospitalization, I woke up (the day after my 35th birthday) and could not feel my right hand. I could not hold onto anything and realized that I had developed a tremor. This was unfortunate, as we were in Las Vegas celebrating my birthday with my parents and one of our closest friends. Things continued from there, and, by August, I agreed to a spinal tap (the final piece to the diagnostic puzzle).

The results came in - Multiple Sclerosis. We were in shock. I had watched my husband's best friend from law school go through his MS diagnosis and seen what a hard time he had had. I was terrified. Deep down, I knew exactly what was going on but did not want to admit it to myself.

We started seeing specialists and, after one horrible experience at the Cleveland Clinic, I found myself at UCSF with the incredible neurologist ever! My whole perspective and level of MS care shifted once I started seeing Dr. Liz Crabtree. I continued my Ph.D. coursework and modified my schedule. I started sitting fall semesters out so that I could focus on my health. This is where my health journey truly began.

My health journey…

I changed my diet/lifestyle. I was a gluten-free vegan and had completely given up alcohol! This was not the best fit for me, as I was on 5 IV steroid treatments that first year (2012). I was encouraged to modify my diet and work on the best fit for me. Here's the kicker… each MS-specific diet book is a different diet! How is someone supposed to follow one thing when there is so much contradictory information out there? I became my own advocate and started researching and trying different things for myself. I tried different diets, supplements, alternative therapies. You name it, and I have tried it. My MS is much more active than my doctors would like, but it is what it is.

I continue to work on finding the perfect balance for me. At this time, that balance is diet/lifestyle, a ton of supplements, getting out of the heat and into a temperate climate for a significant portion of the year, medical cannabis and CBD, yoga, massage, and mindfulness.

Where this has brought me…

After being set back almost two years as a result of the MS diagnosis, I graduated with my Ph.D. in Rehabilitative Counseling in December 2017. Now what??? I had spent so much time "working on" my Ph.D., that attaining it was anticlimactic. You work so hard on something for so long, despite severe setbacks and limitations that you are almost numb when you finally reach the finish line. After looking into different options with my newfound title, I stumbled onto Integrative Health Coaching. This was the perfect marriage of my education and my personal experience. Who is better equipped to help individuals with change than someone that has been (and continues to go) through so much themselves?

Where I am today…

I researched programs and applied to the Integrative Health Coaching program through Duke University's School of Integrative Medicine. I didn't tell anyone I applied; I just did it an crossed my fingers. I was accepted and took my first trip to Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina! I completed the foundation course through Duke University, then the Certification course, and the National Board Certifying Exam.

I am a National Board-Certified Integrative Health Coach trained by Duke University Integrative Medicine. Wow, that's a mouthful!

I work with individuals in making meaningful and lasting lifestyle changes by focusing on the whole person. I love what I do! I have finally found my calling and use for all of my education and personal experience. I work with an Integrative Medicine specialist, and I, myself, walk the walk.

I understand that I have glossed over the nitty-gritty details of my MS struggles. I feel this piece is intended more for how I got to where I am rather than my actual daily struggle.

MS is something I deal with.

It is with me all day, every day. My days are quite unpredictable as I may overdo it one day and have nothing in me the next. I live in a constant state of trying to maintain balance and do not always succeed.

This diagnosis has taught me a lesson in patience; however, I still struggle with my uber Type-A tendencies and am constantly reminding myself to slow down!

I am still working on what is best for me and am happy to sit down and discuss my MS journey in more detail if you would like to contact me. In a nutshell, I have had to make significant lifestyle changes and acknowledge my limitations. I have had to learn to say "NO" and put myself first. This is not always easy, and I (often) seem like I am unreliable.

Those closest to me know about my daily struggles, but even they do not see the whole of it. I am ME, and I do my best to continue to work toward helping others. I hope this sharing is able to help you

Sending each of you my best,

Danielle

Dr. Danielle D Fox, PhD, CRC, NBC-HWC is a National Board Certified Integrative Health Coach. Trained by Duke University’s School of Integrative Medicine. Dr. Fox is a PhD in Rehabilitative Counseling and is a Certified Rehabilitation Counselor.

During her second year of PhD coursework, Dr. Fox was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). This diagnosis lead to Dr. Fox embarking on her own personal health and wellness journey. Dr. Fox's doctoral research assessed the role of Locus of Control and how that relates to Quality of Life among individuals with Multiple Sclerosis. Through her research, Dr. Fox found, that in most chronic conditions, individuals with an internal locus of control tend to fare better. What does this mean? This means that individuals that are more proactive and hold themselves accountable in their health tend to exhibit better clinical outcomes. In researching the MS population, Dr. Fox found that there is, in fact, a relationship between an internal locus of control and improved quality of life scores among individuals with MS. What does this mean for you? This means that Dr. Fox has the experience and tools to empower clients and facilitate meaningful and healthy lifestyle changes.

Through her own personal experience with Integrative Medicine, Dr. Fox found that by implementing lifestyle changes (in all areas of her life) she was able to better manage her chronic condition and improve her overall health and well being. This personal health and well being journey, combined with Dr. Fox's education and area of research, provides her with a different perspective and understanding of the importance and value of implementing lifestyle changes as well as the tools necessary to assist you on your journey.

You can connect with Danielle via her website

Essentials for Integrative Health , Facebook , or Instagram

Hi friend!

Welcome to Bright Light.

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.

Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.

I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.

I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.

You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Buy The Courage to Become

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 7/15/20 Catia Holm 7/15/20

Courage to Become | Lisa Jauregui

I'm proud I stayed course and followed my passion - in all the forms it took over the years - from working with clients to starting a YouTube Channel. At the time I had no idea or grand plan that it would lead to what we are doing today with BK Beauty, but since launching last year, my husband has been able to join me now full time. We designed a life, that would have felt like a dream years ago - in terms of passion for our work, and being able to also prioritize family.

A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.

Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope and encouragement. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Lisa is one of them.

Lisa is graceful and kind and a true powerhouse. I watch her from afar and she absolutely inspires me to be softer and more powerful at the same time. She has taken her passion, beauty, and grown it into a business all while rooting it in kindness. Please welcome, Lisa.

Lisa J from BK Beauty

Tell us a little bit about yourself:

I am a mom to two girls, and my husband and I own a beauty brand, BK Beauty. My brand evolved from a passion I've always had for makeup artistry. Working at a makeup counter in college, lead to having always having that makeup artistry in my life in all sorts of ways. For years I had a wedding makeup business as a side job to my full-time job in Advertising. I'd work M-F in advertising, and work weekends doing wedding makeup. After having my second daughter, I started to come to terms with needing to retire from the wedding business. While I loved the work and my clients, the schedule of having every weekend booked and away from family was wearing me down. I started making videos teaching women about makeup and uploading them to YouTube to still practice my passion. Five years later, that would lead to launching BK Beauty. Besides YouTube and BK Beauty, I enjoy fitness and immersing myself in self-discovery and self-improvement content.

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?

I'd have to say starting my brand. I remember looking into starting a brand when I was a makeup artist before I was on YouTube or had any community (I prefer this over "followers") :) There is a lot that goes behind starting a company. I am so fortunate that my husband supported this dream of mine and runs the business parts that are not my areas of interest or knowledge.

How did it feel getting started?

It was exciting and scary. We are 100% self-funded, so making that initial investment to place our first purchase order was terrifying! As you get further along, you start to realize the additional expenses that arise that you didn't even consider when you started. Our initial investment quickly doubled as we began to source everything we would need to operate fully. The process was long, but exciting. It was gratifying seeing my product come to life! After we launched and started to get customer feedback, that was scary too. You hope your customers love your product as much as you do.

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you started BK Beauty?

Oh gosh, so many obstacles when we started. The first would be finding a partner and manufacturer that would work with us. After sampling about a dozen, we finally found ours. We launched out of our home, and the first three months of our business, our house looked like a warehouse shipping facility. We had no intention of renting a space or hiring anyone immediately because we thought we could manage it ourselves. After a few months of juggling the kids, my YouTube Channel, and BK Beauty, we decided we needed a space and to make our first hire. We also learned that timelines never run as planned initially, and having the patience to get it exactly right is more important than rushing the process.

What motivates you to grow BK Beauty?

We've been able to use BK Beauty as a vehicle to give back in ways we never could do personally. That is something I am proud of. The community of women around the world that have supported me on YouTube motivates and inspires me. The letters, emails, and comments I receive are so rewarding. My daughters also motivate me. I hope they see the passion and hard work in me and that one day, that helps shape them into having the courage to follow their dreams.

Which living person do you most admire?

I admire Kendra Scott because she's an incredible example of an entrepreneur who has built an incredibly successful brand. She reinvented her brand and business and sustained the growth longterm, but more importantly, she uses the success of her brand to give back in significant ways. Mentorship and philanthropy is a core part of who she is. I admire that. I look at the work she is doing in communities through her brand's success, and I am inspired to follow.

Which talent would you most like to have?

Dance! I so wish I could dance! I mean REALLY dance... not just act a fool at a wedding.. but the kind of dance you see on Instagram. :)

What is your most marked characteristic?

Hmmm... I would have to say empathic if that is a characteristic? I have always been someone who takes on others' feelings. In a lot of ways, I think that is a positive characteristic. Forgiveness and giving the benefit of the doubt are two things I am quick to give. I love deeply, and I want to be loved deeply. In other ways, it's something I have to manage and balance. It can cause anxiety, self-doubt, and trouble identifying important boundaries for self-love and protection. This is something I only recently am starting to realize and work on.

What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?

If you are uncomfortable, you are growing. Listen to your instincts; they are always right.

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

My girls are what I am most proud of. Not sure if that qualifies as an accomplishment, but I am proud of their hearts. They are kind, loving, compassionate, and caring. They love animals, which I think says a lot about their heart. :) That makes me proud. Professionally I am proud that I turned a passion into a business that my husband and I now work together. To be honest, I spent my 20s not knowing what I wanted to be professionally. I always loved makeup but had this idea that I needed to go to college and get a "real" job after. I worked in Advertising for a few years. I am grateful for that experience because it validated that makeup was my true passion and that having a "real" job and a good paycheck wasn't truly fulfilling. It wasn't leading to happiness. I'm proud I stayed the course of following that passion in all the forms it took over the years from working with clients to starting a YouTube Channel. At the time, I had no idea or no grand plan that it would lead to what we are doing today with BK Beauty, but since launching last year, my husband has been able to join me now full time. We designed a life that would have felt like a dream years ago in terms of passion for our work and being able also to prioritize family.

What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in the mud?

When I feel overwhelmed, a long run and a good Tony Robbins talk will get me out of it—also disconnecting a bit. I have to disconnect when I feel that way. It's tough because social media is a big part of my job, but I always want to show up authentic and honest. And sometimes, the truth is I need some space to recenter.

What's one piece of advice you'd give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

Be patient, and stay true to your mission and your brand. Build community by showing up and offering real value. Be honest with that community, serve them.

Lisa J is a mama, wife, and all-around amazing woman. She is the founder of BK Beauty.

Driven by a passion for beauty and mission of kindness, BK Beauty creates makeup products and tools that offer a luxurious feel with flawless performance.

BK Beauty helps make application effortless and inspires creativity while celebrating beauty inside and out. With every purchase, a donation is made to inspire

kindness.

You can shop BK Beauty and connect with Lisa at:

YouTube: lisajmakeup // Instagram: @lisajmakeup //Facebook: LisaJMakeup

BK Beauty // Instagram: BK Beauty

Hi friend!

Welcome to Bright Light.

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.

Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.

I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.

I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.

You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Buy The Courage to Become

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 7/9/20 Catia Holm 7/9/20

Courage to Become | Rachel Duffy

When I finally, and against all odds pulled through, I heard the call of the universe to stop and reevaluate my life. The universe was calling on me to step into a more authentic version of myself, to heal, to become. I was given a second chance, a chance to be my own hero, to save myself by stepping out of victimhood and claiming my life.

A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.

Rachel and I are sisters. I am truly lucky to call her friend. We studied together with Dr. Shefali Tsabary - and got to know each other in New York at our graduation. I absolutely respect and admire her. She is strong and smart and giving. Anyone who works with her is absolutely blessed. She’s so so wise. Enjoy her story of becoming.

Rachel Duffy from Sagacity Lab

When I was 20 years old, I got diagnosed with Crohn’s disease after 2 long years of elusive symptoms and multiple hospital visits all resulting in “we can’t find anything wrong with you, are you under unusual stress?”.

On one hand, it was a relief to receive a diagnosis, because it meant I would get treatment and it validated that my pain wasn’t “all in my head”, but at the same time, it put me on a path of self-denial, shame, anger, and resistance.

You see, Crohn’s disease is a chronic, genetic, autoimmune disease that affects the GI tract. One of its hallmark symptoms is severe abdominal cramps and diarrhea. As a young, attractive and otherwise healthy woman, I felt shame that I had a chronic disease (chronic diseases are for “old people”) and even more shame because it was a “bathroom” disease that I didn’t want to talk about with my friends. I did as many 20-year-olds do, and while I took my medications as prescribed, I otherwise ignored the fact that this was part of my life. I pretended like everything was normal and continued on through Law School, had a successful career as a litigator, moved with my ex-husband across the world, did a career pivot into business, etc. On the outside, I was living a super successful, enviable life. On the inside, I was angry and bitter. This entire time, more than a decade since my diagnosis, I had been harboring rage and self-pity. Why did I get this? Why did my body betray me like this? Why me?

It wasn't until 2004, when I turned 31, that my methods of denial had finally caught up with me.

Coupled with the slow disintegration of my first marriage, my symptoms became increasingly worse, uncontrolled by any medication, and led me to surgery for bowel resection in January of 2004. Little did I know that this “straightforward” procedure would snowball into 4 more back to back surgeries, extensive time in ICU, an induced weeks-long coma, complication after complication, and almost 10 months of hospitalization.

When I finally, and against all odds pulled through, I heard the call of the universe to stop and reevaluate my life. The universe was calling on me to step into a more authentic version of myself, to heal, to become. I was given a second chance, a chance to be my own hero, to save myself by stepping out of victimhood and claiming my life.

I divorced my first husband and eventually started to date a man who later on became my husband and father of my 3 kids. He was instrumental in helping me heal from my self-loathing, self-denial, internal shame, and rage that I had been carrying around with me all those years.

He was the first person who really “saw” me and it was through his eyes that I was able to see myself, to accept that Crohn’s was a part of me just like brown hair was a part of me. To step out of the mindset that I was so unlucky to have gotten this in the first place, to realize it wasn’t good or bad, it just was.

Fast forward 15 years, I am now 47. I’ve had Crohn’s disease longer than I have not. I do not wish I never had it, I do not pray for a cure (beyond my prayer that every disease be cured), I do not feel anger or hurt recounting the past, I feel completely neutral about it, and I embrace it and love this part of myself like I love other parts of myself.

Sometimes you need someone to help you become yourself. I am lucky my husband came into my life at the right time, put me on a path to healing and acceptance. For that, I will forever be grateful.

He inspired me to step further into my true self by becoming a teacher and coach. I left the corporate world and became certified as a Conscious Parenting Coach. I now help my clients go through some of the transformations I went through: to accept themselves, reveal their true parts and integrate them instead of burying them under layers of shame, self-loathing, and denial. This in turn allows them to live their highest potential as human beings, parents, or executive leaders.

More about Rachel:

I’ve walked the path you’re walking now. I’ve been frustrated in my career and pivoted (more than once!), I’ve been in a marriage that didn’t work and gotten a divorce, I’ve repressed my true self so much that it manifested in physical symptoms, I’ve been stuck on the precipice of change for decades without finding the courage or the way to forge through.

Why? Because I followed the script, plan, blueprint, expectation, pattern that was laid before me and had been passed on for generations in my family. Because I had been so severed from my true essence and spirit, that I had no idea how to speak my truth or what it was. Because I was so attached to how I labeled myself and how others saw me that I could only lead from a place of ego. Because I did not feel worthy.

So what about you? Do you ever feel you are not at your personal best when you parent? Do you have the sense you could be suffering less and enjoying more, but just can’t figure out how to do that? Do you know you could be leading your company in a much more effective way, but haven’t found the right path yet?

I have good news. This is where you start to shift the outdated paradigm you’ve been working from. The blueprint you’ve been following which isn’t aligned with your true self.

Backed by experience as a family law litigator and mediator, coupled with organizational and leadership skills that emerged in the military, I have devoted my professional life to injecting consciousness in all relationships. Understanding human interaction and promoting the success of children and adults has always been my passion.

As a family law litigator, I observed how our own upbringing affects us even as adults, and gets in the way of our personal and professional relationships, making it nearly impossible to resolve conflict in mutually beneficial ways. Facing challenges that every parent faces, I had to develop wisdom, clarity, and examine my own motivations and agenda that was getting in the way of parenting with sagacity. It was here that I made a commitment to consciousness and to change.

Deepening my studies, I became a certified Conscious Parenting coach studying under Dr. Shefali Tsabary, a world-renowned clinical psychologist & pioneer of Conscious Parenting, and launched my private practice.

I took my combined multidisciplinary skills and applied them both in the personal setting, with families, as well as in the corporate setting, with leaders and executives.

If you need a nudge in the right direction, someone to help you awaken into your fullest potential, someone to help you make the quantum leap you’ve been waiting to take - I’m your girl.

When I’m not working, I enjoy yoga, travel, and a strong shot of Turkish coffee. You’ll often find me spending time with my family, which consists of my husband, three children, and a beloved puppy.

-Rachel Duffy

To connect with Rachel find her here:

www.sagacitylab.com // Facebook // Instagram // Linked In

Hi friend!

Welcome to Bright Light.

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.

Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.

I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.

I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.

You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Buy The Courage to Become

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 7/1/20 Catia Holm 7/1/20

Courage to Become | Iliasis Muniz

What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?
Be exactly who you are, and believe in yourself no matter what.
At twenty years old all I was thinking about was getting married and having babies. Although my life was 100% opposite of what I thought I wanted, I knew who I still wanted to be inside. I just wanted to be me. Whoever that girl was, I just wanted to be the most honest and open soul for myself and others.
By 20, I was living at my ex-husband's parents' house and basically without a job. He saved me from being out on the streets and moving from house to house. I will never regret my love for him, but I will regret thinking I was just a woman who could only marry and have children.
Life, later on, proved I was more than just that.

A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.

Enjoy her story of becoming. Iliasis and I started working together about 5 years ago. She photographed Alexandra for her 1-year portraits, they were divine and we’ve been working together and friends ever since. I have seen her grown and stretch and step into her own light. Please welcome, Iliasis.

Iliasis Muniz from Iliasis Muniz Photography

Tell us a little bit about yourself:

On growing up:

I can say that my most favorite place to live has so far been Texas. I have been in the South Padre Island area (bay area) for 15 years this summer, and it has allowed me to be who I always wanted to be for myself. My mother, who I do not have a relationship with anymore, took me on a roller coaster of a ride since the day I was born.

I was born in Hampton, Va, and visited my father/family for the first time when I was three years old. My father was getting married to another woman when my mother was pregnant with me, and let's say that I understood why she wanted to leave our beautiful island of Puerto Rico.

Shortly after, my mother fell in love with a man named Johnny, who was in the Navy, and he showed my mother and me the world. We lived in Hawaii, Italy, and visited many other places. Then at the age of 11, my mother ran into an incident with the law, and there I went for the first time to live with my grandmother in Puerto Rico.

Her mom, who was already taking care of my older brother Bryan who is Autistic. She was the one who also was extremely overprotective and lived in a poor area. It was humbling to be raised where I thought my whole life was supposed to take place. Time passes by, and my momma was ready to care for me again. I am now 15, and she is living in Texas with her new boyfriend. I knew when I got on that plane; I wasn't going back to Puerto Rico. I had experienced a lot already as it was and felt like my life would not have been able to grow if I'd stay in Puerto Rico.

Again, my relationship with my mother has always been a confusing journey. Now almost 30, I have realized a lot of my mother's decision had nothing to do with me, yet it felt like it was against me. I went back to my mother with so much anger and confusion and felt abandoned by her. I didn't understand why she'd just drop me off, so at 17 years old, I left the house to go live with my first boyfriend and lover.

My mother and I fell into another argument, and the words she expressed to me that day put fire in my heart to be a better version of myself to prove to her I could make it without her ever again. She said, "Of course I'll choose him over you, he pays the bills you don't.”

From that moment on, I had a mission to give myself the best I had to offer without her or anyone's judgment. I've been without my family here in Texas ever since. Of course, I visit my family back in Puerto Rico every year or two, but my mother... she is who made me and created me! She is who I will forever thank for giving me a chance to live life on my own. I love her and understand her, but I didn't have to become her. That is what I want and hope for others to know.

On love:

I have also experienced a nine-year relationship with my ex-husband, which was not a smooth journey. The man I married was intelligent, handsome, and had the family goals that I never thought existed. He was, at one point, the man of my dreams, but of course, with time and growing, things change. We changed as a couple, and we changed as individuals.

I never thought I would find out two months before my wedding that my future husband had cheated on me and was dabbling in a lifestyle of the "rich and famous". I believe that when we fall hard onto the ground face first, we mustn't cry, and we mustn't allow others to see our pain. However, we should take that pain and turn it into victories and positivity for ourselves. At least that is how I cope through difficult times.

Two years passed and life took us both again into two different directions. My reasons for staying with a spouse who cheated were my own, and I knew no one could ever take that away from me because I was going to be the only one who would experience it. My life with my ex-husband not only showed me what I did and did not want for myself anymore, but it also brought incredible observation as to why I made certain choices in my life while growing up. I am forever grateful for this struggle as it has indeed brought out my soul's strength that I always knew was there.

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?

The one thing I dreamt of doing was being a boss. Running someone's company and being able just to be free. I never thought my dream would come true. Now here I am running a boss babe business all on my own and feeling freer than ever in life. It came with a lot of hard work, but not once did I ever doubt myself. I lost girlfriends at the beginning of my career because they simply didn't think I was serious. Eight years this September, I continue to be blessed and thankful for all of what God has given me. My strength, my pure soul, and open heart were what got me here. I've had this drive since I was 15, looking for the opportunity to become who I wanted to become.

How did it feel getting started?

It felt exhilarating! I knew I wanted it; I knew I had what it took. My life had gotten me there for a reason. I never mentioned this prior because every detail is hard to remember about your life, but as I look back on it all now, God had set me up for this career. I just hadn't realized it yet. Before finding my career as a professional photographer, I worked three jobs. I worked at clothing store Isla/Rica as a sales rep, I was a teller at a local bank, and the bank owner hired me as his bookkeeper for his new restaurant on the island. What a perfect way to prep before starting your own business! Sales, banking, and bookkeeping. At 22 I didn’t think I was ready. Yet, here He is making things happen all because I just listened to Him. I am beyond grateful for the growth from then to now and can say He truly exists, and we just simply have to listen to what he gives us in our lives.

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started as a photographer?

To be honest, the hardest obstacle that I had faced when I got started was losing my relationship with my ex-husband. I didn't know that my excitement and a newfound love for my career changed the way he looked at me. I knew he was happy for me, but I think he might have been upset that he hadn't found his nitch yet in life. I was very young and we weren't married yet, so I was putting my career in the front row more than I was putting our relationship. Personally, I thought he would find me more attractive for being the independent woman that I was and being able to hold my own. But overtime, we grew apart.

Being so young while in a very serious relationship and not understanding balance is something I wish someone had guided me on. I wish when this all began, I could have known and started to teach myself balance of all things that I love, but that was not the path that was intended for me. Everything happens for a reason

What motivates you to stay positive throughout all the hardships?

To be honest, love is what has kept me going and feeling like a survivor. I know that if I continue to show myself love and show others love that we can keep growing. We can keep going through hardships and feel the pain, but also understand that this had to happen to get to your destination. Which is where He wants you to be. No matter how hard the situation you are facing, you must not stop loving. Keep loving yourself, keep loving others, keep loving what you are doing in life. Whether it is with your career, your children, your spouse, even your animals, just keep that heart open and your mind free. Everything ends up falling back into place if you simply go through it with love and not anger.

Which living person do you most admire?

Ah, this one is one of the hardest questions for me. I have been blessed to have crossed paths with some pretty amazing people in the past almost 30 years of my life. Since my relationship with my mother hasn't been what I hoped for, I have personally become friends with many women who are a few years older than I am. I find myself friends with women who I aspire to be. The majority of my closest friends are mothers. I wish I could talk about every one of them, but this one amazing friend has shown me a different side of strength. She is a mother of two daughters, a fighter of on and off going depression, and an amazing wife/sister/daughter to her family. Verna has been my best friend for the past five years of my life. She's accepted change in so many ways and is one of my few friends who knows herself inside and out. I have learned so much about life and love because of her. She expresses love the way I wish I had when growing up. She fights with tears and her heart vs. anger and fear. She isn't perfect. She is such an understanding friend. She enjoys her space as much as I do, but when we get together again, we stuff our faces with our energy. I admire the way she lives life and the way she gives life to others. She is sensitive and yet a fighter at the same time.

Verna is an amazing woman and someone who I hope to have in my life forever. She just moved to Panama with her husband and two daughters. What a change, and the crazy part is that I have been blessed to be by her side through it all with her. We were in the car together, heading to a function when she received the text message from her husband about the opportunity. I immediately started to tear up, but at the same time rushed to say DO IT! What do you have to lose if you don't? From that moment on, I knew we were still going to stay best friends because when you love someone so much, you want to see them succeed. You want them to have the best life possible, and I knew being in the RGV wasn't it for her. Since then, I have visited her in Panama, because I wanted to show her how much I still love her friendship. My best friend, Verna is a warrior!

Which talent would you most like to have?

I wish I could sing. I love singing around the house and most and about, but to be brutally honest, I am not very good. When I was in school in Virginia, choir audition for the lead role of Star-Spangled Banner. I, of course, auditioned because I loved to sing. Well, this sweet girl beat me, and from that moment on, I knew my life wasn't meant for me to be a singer. So yes, my most wished talent would be to sing with a good melody.

What is your most marked characteristic?

My most marked characteristic would have to be my positivity about life. I try my best to look at things and change perspective immediately when a negative comment is made because it's how we should all look at life. We should turn our frowns upside and be thankful for every little thing we have for ourselves and loved ones surrounding us. Things can always be worse, so by keeping that mindset in the negative place. Happiness is the key to staying alive and surviving. Positivity brings warmth, hope, and love to our souls. Which at the end of our time is the only thing we get to keep with us in the afterlife. At least that is what I am hoping for when my time comes, to simply have a happy soul.

What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?

Always think positive and change your perspective in life. I am a true believer in people's energy and like to keep my vibes high. That's why I feel like photography was a perfect choice for me as a career. I genuinely feel as if my positive energy helps creates the smiles I capture on my camera.

My way of using my skills of positivity and change of perspective is what has allowed me to be the person that I am today and keep my business doors open to the community. As we begin to work together, natural laughs and smiles start to show.

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

Well, just to be living -- to be honest. This world, at any time in age, has been tough to live. We have changed so much over the last decade alone, and to be honest, I am just blessed to be still standing with an open heart, healthy soul, and communicative mind. When I left Puerto Rico at 15, I couldn't imagine where my life would have taken me. I never once believed that my life would be the way it is with all the ups and downs. I am blessed just to have accomplished life itself for almost 30 years. Just reaching 30 this summer will be my best accomplish yet. I am genuinely just thankful to be still alive and well.

What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in mud?

My faith in myself. We all believe in a higher power, and I believe that He lives inside of me, which makes me powerful. He lives in me and is the one guiding me, so as long as I know my faith and believe in myself, everything will be fine. I know that if I am sad, He will be sad. I know that if I am happy, He will be happy. God is truly in all of us and therefore, we are all Gods. So if I am keeping myself, my body, and soul in the healthiest way possible then He will be feeling the same. I continue to tell myself these things anytime, and every time something happens in my life. Good or bad. The only person that can get us out of the mud is ourselves. So trust in yourself and have faith that you can do anything, and you will survive.

What's one piece of advice you'd give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

BE STRONG! BE BRAVE! BE FEARLESS!

Those three powerful keys have helped me arrive at where I am at in life. Being strong for yourself is the hardest thing you can do because we rely on other people's love and energy to heal us, but in all reality, we have it all along to heal ourselves. We need to listen and have the strength to feel it. Being brave for yourself is a huge key to getting anywhere in life, because without that energy, how will you be able to say yes to the next chapter. Say yes, even if you aren't brave enough. It will get you to where you belong to be. Being fearless is something I feel like we all struggle with because, well, let's face it, its scary! But if you focus on being strong, and being brave, being fearless comes naturally. Those two energies, I believe is what allows you to become a courageous woman. We can do anything to be and get where we deserve to be, but without those energies, in your heart and soul you won't be able to get there. I mean, get there with knowing you did it for yourself and on your own. That is the power we have as women—strength, Bravery, and being fearless.

What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?

Be exactly who you are, and believe in yourself no matter what.

At twenty years old all I was thinking about was getting married and having babies. Although my life was 100% opposite of what I thought I wanted, I knew who I still wanted to be inside. I just wanted to be me. Whoever that girl was, I just wanted to be the most honest and open soul for myself and others.

By 20, I was living at my ex-husband's parents' house and basically without a job. He saved me from being out on the streets and moving from house to house. I will never regret my love for him, but I will regret thinking I was just a woman who could only marry and have children.

Life, later on, proved I was more than just that.

The fact that down the line in our relationship, I realized I couldn't conceive a child like the average woman was what changed my mind on who I was supposed to be. I had grown up thinking I was supposed to be this amazing mother and amazing wife. I never thought in a million years I was going to be her anytime soon.

To my 20-year-old self — be who you are, and don't be afraid of her. Don't be scared of anyone, anything, and especially any of the ideas of change.

I am who I am supposed to be today, and I will never take any of my life experiences away.

Iliasis Tyane is a professional photographer and owner of a local children's boutique, Tyane's Baby Boutique. Originally from Aguadilla, Puerto Rico, Iliasis moved to the small town of Port Isabel at the age of 15 as a young girl with big dreams. Shortly after graduating high school, she discovered her passion for photography, and that quickly blossomed into a successful and thriving photography business. Iliasis, or "Ily" as she is known to most, is self-taught and self-made, which speaks volumes about her dedication, persistence, and determination to be successful. She effortlessly juggles not only her photography business, but also runs her baby boutique all on her own. She is a total go-getter who personally manages all aspects of her businesses; from photographing clients to advertising and promoting herself via social media and other platforms, to buying and stocking for her boutique, Ily really does it all! In just 7 years of operating her photography business she has made quite a name for herself, and has even been featured with an article in The Bump magazine for her popular cake smash sessions. On top of being a successful business owner, Ily has become a supporter and mentor for other aspiring photographers in and around Texas. She now shares her amazing gift for photography and the knowledge she has gained through her years of experience by way of her photography workshops. Through her work, she is empowering other women to pursue their passions and follow their dreams just as she did. At only 29 years old, she is an incredible example of the "American dream". She is truly an inspiration too many women and is someone we can all learn so much from. She has also been a Guest Speaker for Social Empowerment Movement Supporter.

Be sure to connect with Iliasis on her social media channels and her website.

Iliasis Muniz on Facebook / Iliasis Muniz on Instagram / Iliasis Muniz Website

Hi friend!

Welcome to Bright Light.

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.

Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.

I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.

I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.

You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Buy The Courage to Become

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 6/24/20 Catia Holm 6/24/20

Courage to Become | Shea Jones

Becoming a youth pastor who has never been to seminary is also an obstacle for me. It was one of my pastor's ideas and sounded crazy to me at first. But, he said... “you're already doing it, Shea.” So, I worry about the teaching aspects sometimes and try to overcompensate with the connection, fun, community & service parts, but I'm also a natural learner so I think deep down I'm capable.

A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.

Enjoy her story of becoming. Shea makes me grin from ear to ear because she cares so much. I can feel her caring through the internet. She loves her people and her community well, she wants the best for all of us, and she’s not afraid to work hard at those things. Please welcome, Shea!

Shea Jones from Austin New Church

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

I'm a mom of two sassy elementary-aged girls. A wife, friend, daughter, youth pastor (for 4 yrs), and accountant (for 20). I've always been a bit of a rebel, from a young age. I could never shake my head yes if my gut said no. Which caused strife when I was younger and I learned how to navigate it better, to show discernment in responding, to make it count, to be heard, and helpful. I was raised by people who told me my voice mattered which I didn't realize was somewhat uncommon, so I have always believed it does, matter.

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?

I majored in government at UT Austin and always wanted to be in politics or become a lawyer. I've done neither.

I love that I get to tell my students that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. And that I added a new career (pastoring) at 38 yrs old. I didn't love school so I think that's part of why I never became a lawyer... although I worked a lot while I went to college (and had a decent amount of fun) so maybe that's why I didn't totally love it. Because I do love learning. I haven't been in politics because I think because I realized how risky, and uncertain it is and that doesn't pair well with my control-freak tendencies.

I'm also not sure I have thick enough skin.

Although... because my life & church is so driven by social justice issues in a way I feel like I get to do parts of both, just without the official title. I also have super loved getting involved in local politics.. my city and school board, etc. -- just taking every opportunity to get to know them because I feel like local politics can be super hard to feel connected to and understand.

Shea with the Austin New Church Students

How did it feel getting started?

I feel like I'm always getting started.

I've never been a visionary or dreamer. Any job or opportunity I've gotten hasn't been because I've dreamed it up. It's generally been pointed out by someone else that I should try it. Or I've just tried to work hard, kind, and be impactful wherever I've been, which I think has left me open to the things that have come my way and been a part of my journey. My husband is a dreamer.. he's creative... know's where he wants to retire & what he wants to be doing (fly fishing)... and I've always been pretty content to just be with my people, so I'll pretty much be where he is with some books. At first, I used to feel inadequate around him because I didn't have a dream to be a rock star or write music, but I realized it's what makes us work, and it's okay to not know what you want next. But be curiously & optimistically open for whatever presents itself.

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started pastoring?

When I think about my life I think I have always been blessed with family, resources, support & friendship.

Some general challenges in my life have been my dad committing suicide when I was 24 (due to alcoholism & depression) and my parents’ divorce I believe. My husband also had a little sister pass when he was in middle school from Muscular Dystrophy so we're very aware that our lease of parenting, love, relationships are very much affected by both having lost someone in our immediate families sooner than you're generally 'supposed' to.

We know that makes us appreciate what we have & try to be present, but we also know it makes us worry & fear. The people we have lost are never far from our thoughts and that can be both a good & bad thing I think. Becoming a youth pastor who has never been to seminary is also an obstacle for me. It was one of my pastor's ideas and sounded crazy to me at first. But, he said... “you're already doing it, Shea.” So, I worry about the teaching aspects sometimes and try to overcompensate with the connection, fun, community & service parts, but I'm also a natural learner so I think deep down I'm capable.

I've also 'been in church' my whole life so that should count for something. The difference is since I didn't have a clue I'd be a pastor one day (was NEVER on my radar) I didn't listen in church the way you would if you thought you'd be teaching it one day. Maybe that's the lesson.. we should all be prepared to teach anything we're learning. Another recent obstacle is the kidney donation thing that happened 2 years ago, but I don't talk about that a ton bc it feels weird. It was a super-spiritual process for me, which would be a whole other paragraph+ but the gist is I didn't want fear to lead my decision. I felt it was important for my kids to see that, and I do believe that as we can we are meant to give back all we have, because Jesus told us to.

What motivates you to be a pastor?

I am motivated mostly by CONNECTION. One of my pastor bosses had me do the Strengthfinders 2.0 test and that was revealed to me. It makes me realize that connection drives most of what I do, how I respond, where I find my purpose & my gratitude. I can't stand fluff, or surface, or cliche for the life of me. That is the downfall. I crave authenticity to a fault - probably.

Which living person do you most admire?

I've always LOVED Oprah. When she had her last show about 8-9 years ago I had a watch party with like 30 friends. We made Oprah's favorite cocktail (Moscow mule), we served O-shaped food. It was a blast. And felt a bit like the end of an era. Oprah stood up for all people before it was cool. I had friends who didn't like her because she was too inclusive. Which is probably why I love her.

Which talent would you most like to have?

Singing! I literally can't carry a tune but I love to sing. And maybe sometimes I can if I'm lucky but the problem is I'm so tone-deaf that I wouldn't know it. And my husband's a musician so it extra hurts. I distinctly remember my dad telling me in my grandparent's church when I was around 8 years old that I couldn't sing... I actually have always felt VERY loved by him despite how he left this earth, and know he was trying to be funny, but his comment has stuck with me.

What is your most marked characteristic?

I think I'm kind of an asshole. I've gotten better at reigning it in, but as I've said I kind of always have been an IDGAF person. In fact, I should probably read a book that says "You should give a F more than you do!" LOL. I know this helps me in times but it has hurt relationships too, so I've had to learn from it. Learn how to become a better LISTENER. Actually work at that skill. I did when I started having coffee with people after the last presidential election, who voted differently than me. I knew politics weren't going away and neither was social media, so I really wanted to do a sampling and LISTEN, CONNECT, UNDERSTAND (even if we don't agree), then figure out how to TREAT each other better. Figure out why I responded so passionately inside myself.

What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?

I feel like my favorite motto changes about every quarter or so based on what I'm experiencing or learning at the time. I got this from a recent online boundaries course (by Kay Bruner) ... "literally the only thing we can control is the way we love each other."

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

I'm proud to be a good friend, mom, wife, and granddaughter. I'm proud to love teenagers well just as they are. To create a safe space for them to explore their faith. To be fully themselves, to not fear to ask hard questions or uncertainties... to fear silence about those things instead. I wasn't comfortable with the title youth pastor at first but I am now. And still today I will Google the word pastor and then think... yes, I am spiritually guiding teens. I am a pastor.

What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in mud?

I'm not one to open up to many when I'm down but I can be vulnerable with a few close friends, and especially my mom and husband. The funny thing about Tommy (my husband) and me is we were head over heels in love and talked marriage early on but he was oddly practical about making sure I was going to be someone who would compromise and be a good teammate.

There's a story early on of me giving him an ultimatum to pick his rock band or me. And he called my bluff, which I wasn't used to, and he picked the band.

It was a humbling two day break up and I had to come groveling back and ask for help. And I think it shaped the tone of our marriage, in which we take turns leading each other. But it starts with creating space for each other to be vulnerable.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

Listen to you gut. It's generally trying to tell you something. It could be Jesus.

What is one piece of advice you would give your 20 year old self?

You're doing the best you can with what you know right now.

Isn’t Shea amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to reach out squeeze her neck right now.

I am so grateful that she shared her story with us. So much hope and forward motion in it. I loved it!

I know you’ll want to connect with Shea, here’s how you can.

Facebook , Instagram, Austin New Church , Austin New Church Students on Instagram, Austin New Church Students on Facebook

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational and TEDx speaker , Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Buy The Courage to Become

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 6/18/20 Catia Holm 6/18/20

Courage to Become | Anti-racist

“I had no idea I WAS racist!! I always thought that because I had black friends and was involved with black guys that I had immunity. It wasn't until my current boyfriend began pointing little things out to me throughout our relationship that I did, said, and that other people did and said that I realized just how racist we can all be without knowing it.”

A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.

This is a special and poignant piece. This piece was written in March of 2020 and submitted as anonymous for many reasons.

As the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery have ignited the entire nation, this piece ( already vitally important) is more important than ever.

Tell us a little bit about yourself:

I am 25 years old, have built a "successful" life for myself on my own, and am a cat mom. I own a social media management business (shoutout to my first paying client). I never know what to say when someone says, "tell me about yourself."

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?

I always wanted to build a family of my own and live a financially comfortable lifestyle. I only had one "real" boyfriend in high school and recently ended a relationship of 4.5 years. I was always afraid of having a successful relationship but had NO idea I had this fear until I started therapy last year. The issues I faced with boys when I was younger and with my current boyfriend all seemed to stem from issues with myself, but I learned that they actually stem from my upbringing.

How did it feel getting started?

When I first began dating my current boyfriend, things were great. Until racism showed its ugly face through my family and things began to get sticky. I still remember (and probably always will) almost every detail about the day my dad disowned me and let his wife talk about me and my man the way she did. Honestly, my subconscious blocked out a lot of the wording she used but my spirit has never forgiven her. This was the beginning.

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you started dating someone who had a different skin color and heritage than you?

So like I said, things were great with my man until my family showed their true colors. This story isn't just about my relationship, though. It's really about my journey with racism.

I had no idea I WAS racist!! I always thought that because I had black friends and was involved with black guys that I had immunity. It wasn't until my current boyfriend began pointing little things out to me throughout our relationship that I did, said, and that other people did and said that I realized just how racist we can all be without knowing it.

Honestly, I kept up my ignorance until this year. So embarrassing. I read a book titled White Fragility and now preach its knowledge and recommend the book to everyone. I even sent it to a friend in the mail for her to read during quarantine.

Racism is systematic, meaning white people are racist by default. This doesn't make anyone a "bad" person, however, which is where some of the defensiveness comes from when white people are confronted about their actions. Anyway, without recanting the entire book, I learned a lot in the last 5 months, from the book, other research, peers, etc.

What motivates you become more sensitive and aware of your words and actions regarding racism?

The person I loved and was in a relationship with for 4.5 years, the black people I love, the white people I love, the Latinx people I love, etc. Even the people I don't know. I have such a new respect for all people and all races. The shit they put up with that white people DON'T EVEN NOTICE. I notice so much now!! I have such a new motivation to stand up for various morals and values now. I used to "avoid conflict" and now I'm not afraid to cause conflict in standing with love and respect.

Which living person do you most admire?

I most admire my ex-boyfriend. His patience isn't what allows him to brush off hate, it’s his confidence and respect for himself. He knows he’s better for the world than what other people may think of him for his skin color. He knows those people don't have issues with him personally, they have issue with themselves and the past they've learned through school and their upbringing. Not everyone has the willingness to learn more than they've been taught. He takes the time to learn more in attempt to better himself. He knows God's got him.

Which talent would you most like to have?

This is totally unrelated but I would LOVE to be able to dance. LOL. I've always had some good rhythm and I've been able to do some trendy dances throughout the years but as I've gotten older, the less I want to do the trendy dances (because let's be honest I don't want to shake my ass for anyone outside the bedroom) my talent with this has declined.

What is your most marked characteristic?

Physically, people comment on my skin and eyes the most. Personality wise, I hear more comments about how sweet and mature I am. I've always gotten this. I've always appreciated it because its gained me respect with people who matter in life rather than have been thought of as super cool and gotten "respect" from peers.

What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?

Sheesh. So many quotes come to mind. One that is super relevant to this, though, would be "Stand for nothing, or fall for anything." I don't remember who said this but it's SO TRUE. I used to not really understand it when I hear it in songs or when I'd hear it but now I do.

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

My business! Also maintaining a relationship with my ex-boyfriend for so long. Of course, had some major speed bumps, but he was (is) a great man and we learned so much fron each other. Also finally maturing and educating myself on racism. It's been a long time coming. Although, I don't want to be TOO proud of myself because I feel like it should be required as a human.

What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?

My future. I'd love to help support my mom like she's always done for me. Of course I'd love to provide a comfortable life for my kids – and one day I hope to have a mentally and emotionally stable relationship.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

Educate. Read. Don't leave it up to your black friend to educate you on their painful experience. Find resources. Ask questions when necessary but don't totally rely on someone else to give you all the information. Also, don't ask the wrong people. This means don't ask white people who have little to no knowledge on the subject and don't ask people of color who clearly don't want to help you. They have the right to not want to answer your "simple questions."

What is one piece of advice you would give your 20 year old self?

LEARN NOW. STOP BEING IGNORANT.

Isn’t that something. What a story, tender and straight from a young person’s heart. May we all be moved to action to unlearn the racism we have absorbed and to learn how to honor brothers and sisters from different races than our own. - catia

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational and TEDx speaker , Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Buy The Courage to Become

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 6/9/20 Catia Holm 6/9/20

Courage to Become | Mariah Oller

When I first started my tarot business my hands were shaking. I was so afraid of publicly posting my photo in my profile picture. I was afraid of what the religious part of my family would think AND of what the scientists in my family would say. - Mariah Oller

A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.

Enjoy her story of becoming. I watch her on social media and admire the way she excels at her craft while at the same time remaining the present mama to two sweet girls, and how she contributes so well to her community. Please welcome, Mariah.

Mariah Oller from Harvest and Moon

Mariah, tell us a little bit about yourself.

I am a Cell Biologist turned tarot reader, a survivor of domestic abuse, and homeschooling mother of 2.

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?

Most of my life is about dreaming and then jumping feet first. My biggest goal has always been to be happy. From there I have many branches.

I wanted to be in a healthy relationship. That may seem simple but for me, someone who grew up seeing and experiencing physical trauma, that has been a tough thing to reprogram. I go to therapy primarily to deal with how much love and pleasure I have in my life now.

I’ve always wanted to be a healer. I started that journey by diving into the hard sciences and later becoming a tarot reader. Surprisingly, I help a lot more people now, and it allows me to comfortable raise my kids.

How did it feel getting started as a tarot reader?

Getting started is always scary. My Dad loves to say “fear is a mind-killer.” I consciously coach myself to take fear as a signal to pay attention, instead of freezing.

When I first started my tarot business my hands were shaking. I was so afraid of publicly posting my photo in my profile picture. I was afraid of what the religious part of my family would think AND of what the scientists in my family would say. For me, tarot is the perfect blend of those worlds but I worried that it would be misunderstood by those I loved. My husband helped calm my nerves and encouraged me to own my brand and my spiritual practices. My family is very supportive of what I have created.

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started reading tarot:

The biggest obstacle that I’ve faced are misconceptions about tarot. A lot of people are scared they are going to learn something they don’t want to know or they worry it will be something that goes against their religion.

My tarot readings have always been about empowering people to move towards a life that they love. We focus on discovering what action is needed right now to create harmony in careers, relationships, living situations, etc.

What motivates you to read tarot?

My children are my biggest motivation. I know that they will follow my example so I make sure I’m living a life I would also want for them.

Which living person do you most admire?

My grandmother. She has so much grit and wisdom. She’s the woman people come to when they need advice about their marriage or career.

Which talent would you most like to have?

Besides knowing future events and what actions are needed to overcome the obstacles?! I’m fully satisfied with the talents I have...but I would add ‘enjoys putting laundry away’ as a talent if I had a magic wand.

What is your most marked characteristic?

I am an achiever. I love to push myself and test what I’m capable of.

Is there a message that motivates you or encourages you along?

My mantra is “I’ll get the perfect thing at the perfect time.”

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

I loved getting my degree at 17. That really set the stage for me to be able to do anything I set my mind to.

What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in the mud?

I pull a tarot card reflect on what action I need to take right now and what goal I’m working towards in the next few months.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

Stay diligent about who and what you allow around you. Consume media that feeds your mind and goals. Connect with people that speak life into you. Distance yourself from things that aren’t good for you.

What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?

Wait until you’re old enough to legally drink before having a baby. Just because you created the life of an adult woman doesn’t mean you have the fully developed brain of an adult woman.

Mariah Oller is the founder of Harvest and Moon and the New Moon Tribe. She connects modern women to ancient traditions so that they may live a more grounded, exciting, and empowered life.

Mariah has always had a passion for healing. She received her first degree in Biotechnology when she was 17-years-old through the Texas Bioscience Institute and went on to become the lead Biologist designing Oxygen Concentrators for a Medical Device Company at the ripe age of 19.

Mariah seamlessly blends the worlds of Science and Magic together to create healing and balance for women in her community. Source: Harvest and Moon

Mariah is truly gifted and I know you will love connecting with her!

Harvest and Moon Web site — Harvest and Moon on Instagram — Harvest and Moon on Facebook

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational and TEDx speaker , Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Buy The Courage to Become

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 6/8/20 Catia Holm 6/8/20

How are you after last week?

Ten days ago I sent out a Weekly Wisdom email - and the topic was how to sustain change.. And then, a tsunami of events, emotions, and information came barreling at America.

If you are Black and reading this, I hold you in my heart and my actions. I am learning and unlearning and acting on your behalf. I am sorry and embarrassed that I didn't know just how much you have gone through and go through. I am committed to not only doing better - but to DOING WELL on your behalf. I will be there for you in my words and thoughts and actions. I know this week was a tsunami, an onslaught, and I'm sorry that you are in the middle of all of it.

--

If you are not Black, I see you, and I feel you. As a leader of people who want to grow and do their best ( I am so proud of you ), I wanted to be there for you, and so I didn't want to be silent. I wanted to be vocal and push the envelope (of my social media - but most of all of my heart and comfort.)

When you learn that you have been blind and worse, complicit in the hurting of others - it is a gross, all-encompassing feeling. The murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery have affected me like nothing ever has before. It has taken over my head and heart. And I suppose that's a good thing.

Here's something significant that I want you to know.

You have the skills to be a group of people who bring about change. I know that you are who we have been waiting for.

I'm not sure how long you have been with me ( reading my work and showing up for me) for some of you it's recent, and for others, it's been ten years. I know that if you are here - you are GOOD and you are STRONG, and you WANT GOOD FOR THE WORLD.

I know it.

Deconstructing beliefs takes time and intentionality. Change takes time. Looking at ourselves and where we have unconscious biases will not be easy. Seeing the hurt that our brothers and sisters have endured for centuries will break your heart open - but I urge you to look at it - don't look away.

Let it break your heart open. It's in the breaking of your heart that you will transform.

How do I know this?

Because I have been there before, and so have you.

As my teacher, Dr. Shefali, says, “pain is a portal.”

Each of us has that time when our hearts shattered, and we thought, "this is the end, we cannot endure anymore." After prayer, intention, and love, we started to feel lighter, stronger, and freer. We transformed.

Maybe it was a bad break up; maybe it was the loss of a loved one, maybe it was a job loss, maybe it was a suicidal attempt, and maybe it was drug addiction. Something brought us to our knees, and we begged for relief. Do you remember that time?

And yet, here you are. Standing tall, taking deep breaths, evolving, being a blessing to yourself and others.

--
And so I know, you and me, we were made for a time such a this.

I believe in you.

Here's what I am doing to take action.

Also, last night I watched, Just Mercy on Netflix, and I am a changed woman. I will literally never be the same. I highly recommend it. It will break your heart WIDE OPEN. You will move into action after watching it. God Bless Bryan Stevenson.

Jamie Foxx, Bryan Stevenson (American Civil Rights Lawyer and angel ), Michael B. Jordan

Let me know how I can help you on this journey of unlearning.

so much love and hope for you and for us, catia

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Buy The Courage to Become

Shine your brightest,

Catia Holm 11/24/19 Catia Holm 11/24/19

Scary Joy

There are different kinds of joy.

There’s a joy that stems from a deep place within. That kind of joy is a branch of faith. When we have faith that everything is going to be okay, then we give ourselves permission to feel joy in the small moments. There’s space for it.

But when our faith is shaken, and our world feels dim (whether it really is or isn’t doesn’t matter – that’s subjective) joy is hard to access. There may be good things happening to us and for us, but when we are scared that things won’t be okay – there’s a big boulder of a roadblock on the way to joy. The joy is there, but we can’t quite touch it or feel it.

Another kind of joy is the - light, fun, airy, joy. The joy that feels juvenile.

This is the more vulnerable type of joy for me. This joy requires that I really trust the people that I’m with. This joy is risky. Sometimes I feel silly, and I am so excited and effervescent that if someone came out and laughed at me, or teased me, or made a nasty facial expression at me – it would squash my exposed heart.

I don’t feel this joy very often, it’s a scary kind of joy for me. Because my heart is totally exposed – without any armor.

There are so many other types as well. There’s the joy that bubbles up when you step into your own power, or when you see you children step into theirs. The joy that comes with Sunday naps and snuggles with your 2.5 year old that you know is getting taller by the minute, and the joy that comes from running into an old friend in the bread aisle unexpectedly.

In my TEDx talk, Choose Joy or Die, I really dove into the subject of joy researching how it benefits us and what stands in our way. Joy is not a luxury; joy is a necessity.

In the last year or so, I’ve really felt the pull to go back for a football game and visit the high school I graduated from. Weslaco High School.

Man, I had some rough times during high school, but I had some INCREDIBLE times too. And I grew from the tough times and hold the INCREDIBLE times close to my heart.

A considerable part of my high school years was band. I started playing the snare drum in the 5th grade. I’d pack up my Yamaha snare drum and load it in my mom’s maroon Ford Taurus hatchback, and I’d wheel it into school every day. I don’t really remember what band practice was like back then. But I know I continued to learn and eventually played a lot of instruments in the percussion section, snare drum always being my home base.

I was a middle of the road musician, but man, I loved being part of something bigger than myself. And then, in high school, I joined the marching band. In hindsight, I cannot believe how motivated I was. I was a good student, always responsible for my projects and homework, AND I’d get up well before the school bell rang for 1st period and go to marching band practice.

We would practice our half-time show out on the practice field before the school started, run in, “shower,” change and then go for a full day of school. And then after school, I’d go to golf practice – for 2 hours, 5 days a week. I was disciplined and dedicated.

And then as a sophomore, I joined the jazz band, which meant I played a trap set. One of these.

Junior Year - I was percussion section offer. I am in the middle row, 5th from the left.

And as a senior, I tried out to be a drum major of a 300 person band and was selected! In my senior year of high school, I was one of three drum majors, and we were an all-girl squad! I remember wearing a deep purple taffeta cape, and that our half time show music was from Westside Story. It was a blast!

Being part of the marching band meant a lot of things. It meant -- time management, teamwork, LATE nights after football games, stinky bus rides, blisters on my fingers from the drum sticks, a strong back from carrying the drum, learning how to lead, learning how to follow, and when our drum section would sync and play Jungle Music, our favorite Friday night cadence, being part of the marching band meant creating the energy that would move people from their seat to their feet.

I can still play the song 20 years later.

On Friday at 1pm, Guapo said, “Hey, there’s a Weslaco football game tonight, want to go?” And it was like he was offering me front row seats at George Strait. I was crazy excited. I planned the entire afternoon around being able to be at the Weslaco box office at 5:30pm when it opened. I NEEDED 4 tickets for this game. It had been 16 years since I had been in that stadium and felt the beat of the drums.

I dressed up the girls in as much purple as we had, we secured the tickets and showed up just in time to hear the band walk into the stadium. My heart was open and raw, and I felt that giddy kind of joy, the type of joy that is so vulnerable.

We arrived just in time to hear the band march into the stadium and I stood there, clapping and dancing and in joy.

It was almost too much for me to handle. My heart was swelling up inside my chest, and tears just rolled down my cheeks. I had come home to the music, the people, the city -- and with my new family, a family that I had created – Guapo and the girls.

It was just a Friday night football game. But man, it was really lovely. It filled up my heart. I was floating.

I walked up and down the stadium with Alexandra and Luciana and I got to hug some old friends, and I got to feel the BEAT. OF. THE. DRUMS.

And so, I leave you with this – silly joy, light joy, vulnerable joy is risky, but it’s worth it. If there’s something you’ve wanted to do – go do it, friend. If you know that there is something or someone out there that will help your spirit come alive, run after it.

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Buy the Courage to Become

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

Nina Berenato of Nina Berenato Jewelry

You can connect with Nina and shop her empowering pieces on:

Instagram , Facebook and her website - NinaBerenato.com

Monthly Guide

Shine your brightest,

You can connect Sonya on Facebook and on Instagram

Monthly Guide

Shine your brightest,

You can find Karina and Common Assembly on their

Website , Facebook , Instagram

Monthly Guide

Shine your brightest,

Hayley Hengst from On a Lighter Note

About Hayley:

What's changed?

What's the Same?

Other Things...

You can follow Hayley’s journey at

On a Lighter Note Facebook // On a Lighter Note

Monthly Guide

Shine your brightest,

Monthly Guide

Shine your brightest,

Melissa Gauna, NTP, CHNC of Nutritional Therapy Services

Melissa Gauna, NTP, CHNC

Be sure to connect with Melissa on

Instagram // Facebook // and on her website - Heal Your Gut Love Your Body

Monthly Guide

Shine your brightest,

Lindsay Gath

If anyone would like to sign up to make that gift of life happen for another when they’re gone, they can go to www.registerme.org but also let their families know their wishes.

No need to take those organs with you if they can help someone in need.

Great resources for kidney patients: www.aakp.org

You can connect with Lindsay on her Instagram or Facebook Page.

Monthly Guide

Shine your brightest,

Dr. Danielle D. Fox

Ph.D., CRC, NBC-HWC

from Essentials for Integrative Health

You can connect with Danielle via her website

Essentials for Integrative Health , Facebook , or Instagram

Monthly Guide

Shine your brightest,

Lisa J from BK Beauty

YouTube: lisajmakeup // Instagram: @lisajmakeup //Facebook: LisaJMakeup

BK Beauty // Instagram: BK Beauty

Monthly Guide

Shine your brightest,

Rachel Duffy from Sagacity Lab

To connect with Rachel find her here:

www.sagacitylab.com // Facebook // Instagram // Linked In

Monthly Guide

Shine your brightest,

Iliasis Muniz from Iliasis Muniz Photography

Be sure to connect with Iliasis on her social media channels and her website.

Iliasis Muniz on Facebook / Iliasis Muniz on Instagram / Iliasis Muniz Website

Monthly Guide

Shine your brightest,

Shea Jones from Austin New Church

Weekly Wisdom Guide

Shine your brightest,

Weekly Wisdom Guide

Shine your brightest,

Mariah Oller from Harvest and Moon

Weekly Wisdom Guide

Shine your brightest,

Weekly Wisdom Guide

Shine your brightest,

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide