Courage to Become | Nina Berenato
“I always tell aspiring jewelry makers to be ready for the long haul. The expectations of what it is to run a small business are skewed. I didn’t have a store until I worked behind the scenes and ran uphill for eight years. I equate it a lot to boxing, you have to take a lot of hits and stay in the ring. ”
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Nina is one of them.
Enjoy Nina’s story of becoming. I am a HUGE fan of Nina’s. I love her jewelry, I own 3-4 pieces. I have given her jewelry as gifts, I’ve donated to her Paypal when things got tough during COVID, I truly think she is an amazing person and that she makes the world a better place. She is bright and hard-working and cares about the greater good. Nina is truly an inspiration for me. Please welcome, Nina.
Nina Berenato of Nina Berenato Jewelry
Tell us a little bit about yourself:
I'm a 33-year-old jewelry designer based in Austin, TX. I was born and raised in St.Louis, Missouri, and moved to New York shortly after college. That's where I started jewelry making as an apprentice under a master metalsmith for six years. I moved to Texas about five years ago and have been slowly growing my jewelry business ever since.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
One of the foundational parts of my personality is that if I see something that feels wrong, I can't just stand by and watch. This means I get involved, and I often speak out or try to make a change in the world. Every time I do this, I feel fear because I know that I am putting myself on the chopping block. There will always be someone out there who thinks you aren't doing enough or aren't going about things the way they would. I believe this stops a lot of people from standing up for things when their gut tells them they should. From internet bullying to confronting me in person, I have had it all, but I don't let that stop me from sticking up for my beliefs. I have always wanted to be a person that changed the world in a positive way, and that has always been my dream, so I have to encounter and defeat fear all of the time to do that.
How did it feel getting started?
Getting started with my business was pretty easy for me because I am an artist, and I started slow. My business evolved into what it is now, slowly over 11 years. I definitely didn't start out knowing I would be where I am today. I always did know that I wanted to have my own fashion business, and I was always excited to create. I love metalsmithing, so once I started learning that - I knew I always wanted that to be a part of my life. I struggled financially for so long within my business and kept another full-time job for the first seven years in business, so it was a lot of work and a lot of sacrificing material things for my art. But it felt good because I was doing what I loved.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started handcrafting jewelry and creating a business?
Most of the obstacles I faced centered around making mistakes because I didn't have a lot of knowledge about finance, business, etc. I learned quickly, but I had to make mistakes to learn the lesson. For example, I spent the first seven years in business pricing my product incorrectly. I accepted many terms with other businesses I worked with that were not in my favor etc. So I had to go through that to learn the lesson and evolve. There's no handbook for the business I created. Not only do we manufacture our product, but we sell other maker's work, so my business is two-fold. I have a brick-and-mortar that I run an online store and we sell wholesale. So I had to try on all those hats and figure out all the ins and outs of all those branches before I could really take-off. And I am still learning and still making mistakes.
What motivates you to continue growing and investing in your business, Nina Berenato Jewelry?
The biggest motivator for me is being able to create an environment where people are really happy, My three employees are really happy when they come to work, and they have fun and feel supported. My customers feel more powerful when they wear my jewelry. I can teach others jewelry making, which gives them a creative outlet. I teach business skills to other aspiring women so they can learn from my mistakes and lead happier, more successful lives. I can use the small amount of buying power I have in my one little shop to support other women makers and artists, therefore improving their lives. So really, just making the world better for the women around me in whatever little ways I can.
Which living person do you most admire?
I most admire my mom. She is definitely where I get my generous spirit from, and she is the ultimate giver. We are getting a lot closer as I get older, and I am enjoying that and appreciating her more and more.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I would love to be able to do other types of art. People assume that because I am great at jewelry making that I can do all types of art, like drawing or painting, but definitely NOT. I wish I could draw ad paint, do collage, or make stained glass, but as of today, my artistic ability begins and ends with jewelry.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Probably my creativity. I have a talent for coming up with something out of nothing, be it a new design idea, a way to give back, a marketing plan. I can just come up with creative ways to do things out of nowhere.
What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?
My motto is "Leap and the net will appear."
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
I am most proud to have my three employees who work for me. Building a staff is important to me, and providing them with a place where they enjoy working and can thrive has been something that's made me proud.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in the mud?
I love to be knee-deep in mud because I love a challenge, but when I feel exhausted, I shut off all my social media and emails and watch trash TV, like 90 Day Fiance, and I just zone out for a few hours.
What's one piece of advice you'd give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
I always tell aspiring jewelry makers to be ready for the long haul. The expectations of what it is to run a small business are skewed. I didn't have a store until I worked behind the scenes and ran uphill for eight years. I equate it a lot to boxing, you have to take a lot of hits and stay in the ring. My business has grown to this level because I always kept everything small. I put everything back into the company, and I still make each piece of jewelry myself, so I always try to show aspiring jewelry designers a realistic picture. You're going to have to work for it and work long and hard, so get yourself mentally ready first. Invest in a therapist, train your mind and your body so that you can push through.
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?
Stop drinking alcohol. When I got into my thirties, I changed my habits a lot, and one of those was drinking alcohol. I will drink maybe 2-3 times a year. It's done wonders for me, and I wish I would have had the courage to do it sooner.
You can connect with Nina and shop her empowering pieces on:
Instagram , Facebook and her website - NinaBerenato.com
Hi friend!
Welcome to Bright Light.
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.
Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.
I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.
I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.
You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.
To each session, I bring my training as a Certified Conscious Coach, my graduate studies in Marriage and Family Therapy, and my decade-long career as an author and keynote speaker. My approach is multi-cultural, grounded in research and my own experience as the mama of two young girls.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Monthly Guide
Curious about what a session with me is like? Want to just kind of get a little sampler? I would too! Coaching is a big investment. Also think, how long have you been burdened with THIS and how great would it feel to be liberated from that weigh on your heart, that dark cloud following you around.
Click here to read in depth testimonials from clients.
Shine your brightest,
Courage to Become | Sonya Holmgaard
“Around this time, I started my health journey. I was just a few months in waking up every day at 5 am to work out and take time for myself and eat healthily. I could have given up, but instead, I pushed harder. I brought food with me to the hospital while visiting my hurt nephew and stuck to my plan. I pressed play on workout videos in hospital rooms. I kept going. I had fuel. I WAS TIRED AND SCARED AND SAD. I KEPT GOING. ”
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Sonya is one of them.
Enjoy Sonya’s story of becoming. I watch her on social media and admire the way she is so passionate about health and wellness for herself, and for her community. I have learned so much from her about persistence and growing and enthusiasm!!! Please welcome, Sonya.
WAVE NUMBER 1
When I was a junior in high school, I met this very handsome man I immediately knew I would marry. 17 years this December. He struggled with a drug addiction that I was not aware of. I knew bits and pieces and would find things, but I was oblivious to what was going on for the most part. When I found out he would be spending 2 ½ years in a Federal Penitentiary, I was already months along with our first child. I watched him get sentenced wearing shackles and chains around his hands and feet while trying to hold myself emotionally together, not only for myself but also to keep my stress levels down and for my unborn baby's well-being.
I didn't know how strong I was then until years later. I worked two jobs and made the trip to Yankton, South Dakota, to visit him almost every weekend with my husband's grandparents or mother. I had very few friends and kept myself busy getting ready for the baby, worked, and prayed a lot. Our first child was born, and I was allowed to make a phone call to the prison to report our first baby girl's news. The hospital refused to let me put her father's name on the birth certificate for my daughter. Instead, they put dashes where his name should have been. From the beginning, even though the struggle I knew I would face, I never had any intentions to leave my husband because I knew we were to be together forever, no matter what. I knew he was my soul mate and his struggle in life was no reason to abandon him. I loved him and wasn't going anywhere.
Shortly after his sentence and before our first child, we were married privately in a small jail before being transferred to federal prison. We said I do behind glass while a local priest who was against our marriage announced our union. I cried as I messed up one of the lines the priest prompted me to say, and he scoffed at me. When I say he was against, I mean he was against it and treated us like it. Regardless, we were married, and I was in it till death do us part. I was prepared. No matter what anybody said, and they did say a lot. Others wanted me to leave him and have a "real life."
Eventually, I was allowed to bring our baby girl to the prison so her dad could see her for the first time. This was before he was transferred, so it was only an hour from where I live. I proudly held her up to the glass window for daddy to see his perfect little lady. She showed off her crooked pinkies just like his and her nose that was just like mine. That was tough. That was a sad day but also a happy day because we both loved her so much. Years later, I visited Alcatraz prison in California and had a mini-breakdown seeing the visiting area where families would visit through glass windows and use a phone to talk to each other. They probably held up their hands, and that's how they "held hands" between an inch and a half of Plexiglas. Seeing that Visitor area was challenging for me. And even harder, I knew my husband would not be able to hold his daughter. Tough. Very tough. Hard. VERY HARD.
Years later, I came back to this very prison to visit a cousin who was in trouble for drugs. My cousin boasted to his counselor about how my husband made it out and has a good life and that he knew there was a way to have another chance. The same room with the same glass window where I brought my daughter as a baby to see her daddy through the glass was in the background. Visitor room number 5. I noticed it when we walked in and pushed the feelings aside and later sat with the feelings as we drove home. It wasn't so hard this time. This time I let the feelings come. I dealt with them and thanked God for my daughter growing up into a beautiful, strong, fierce, independent woman that will not be stopped by any history our family has in the past.
The day we got to go pick up my husband, there was a party going on in my heart, in my mind, in my soul. He had worked hard and studied and learned to weld and was ready to come home. He did all the things he was supposed to do and more. In the Bible, he found himself in good people in finding a skill that he knew he could apply at a good job when he got home. By the grace of God, he had a family member there that had already almost served years of his life for drugs as well and had made a HUGE shift and change in his life to do better, and he took my husband under his wing and helped him find the way down the right path. When we all walked out of the prison doors, he kept looking behind him. It was a strange feeling for him to walk out those doors. Things were new and different, and things had changed in the big world.
AND BAM! I was pregnant, just like that with our second child. We had a small marriage ceremony that September, and I was six months pregnant in David's bridal red and white dress tailored for my swollen pregnant belly. Life was good. Years went by, and we fought a lot and made up a lot, and our marriage was tested. But as we got older, we grew more and more in love and understanding of each other. Luckily my daughter was young enough she doesn't remember, and by the time we had our second child, my husband was HOME; I'm thankful for that. WE MADE IT, and we are all right.
WAVE NUMBER 2
WAVE number 2 was coming, and I had no idea. A TSUNAMI. With no warning. And here it is. I'm just going to come out with it. My nephew was shaken by his father so severely that he almost died. He is now blind, unable to walk, unable to talk, never run, will never see, and will never have all the chances that many other kids get. We spent countless nights in a tiny family waiting room and slept in chairs and couches made out of cement, I swear. It was my job every day to wake up and make sure my sister ate so she could keep going. We were allowed to see my nephew but only with CPS breathing down our necks while they investigated. CPS took my sister alone into a room and interrogated her without my knowledge until I found out where she was and ever so kindly burst in to sit with her and hold her hand, so she wasn't alone. At the time, I didn't know how strong I was. I went through the movements to protect my sister, and even though my body went through the motions, I wasn't there; I was in another world trying to scramble and pick up the pieces from this giant confetti bomb the size of the world that just went off.
I was placed with temporary custody of my other nephew as none of the children were no longer allowed to be in my sister's care until things were straightened out. AND THE PART I COULDN'T LIVE WITH FOR A LONG TIME…I was asked to take my baby nephew, who was shaken home after they released him, and I SAID NO. I SAID NO because I had my own two kids, at the time 2-year-old nephew I had just taken custody of (and I was upfront about my husband's past…Luckily DHS let me have my nephew). I had planned on taking on my sister's other two children that were older. Eventually, their dad fought me over and ended up getting for a while. So I was planning on raising my two-year-old nephew, my own two kids, and my sister's older two kids for as long as I needed to. 5 KIDS! At the time, I didn't know it, but I took on only what I could handle. My nephew, who was shaken, was placed with my other sister, who happened to be a foster parent. I let him go there because I didn't think I would be able to take care of all the kids and get my hurt nephew to where he needed to be for hospital surgeries and care. It was going to be a long, long haul for him. I didn't think I had it in me to be strong enough to carry all that battle. I felt I could handle only so much.
About a year and a half goes by, and I am BEATING MYSELF UP EVERY DAY for not taking my nephew, who was hurt. I WAS ASHAMED OF MYSELF. DESTROYED. FELT WORTHLESS. WHAT KIND OF AN AUNT WAS I? Like how could I take on the other kids and not my poor helpless baby nephew who needed me? DEPRESSION BIG TIME. LOWEST POINT OF MY LIFE. DONE. WAS A WASTE OF SPACE. I WISHED IT WERE ME AND NOT MY BABY NEPHEW. I would have done ANYTHING TO TAKE HIS SPOT. So he could have a chance. So he could have a LIFE.
BUT…..
I PULLED MYSELF OUT OF THAT DARK PLACE.
I kept pouring myself into my sister's kids and my own. EVERY WAKING second was ABOUT THEM. They were well-loved and taken care of and still are.
Around this time, I started my health journey. I was just a few months in waking up every day at 5 am to work out and take time for myself and eat healthily. I could have given up, but instead, I pushed harder. I brought food with me to the hospital while visiting my hurt nephew and stuck to my plan. I pressed play on workout videos in hospital rooms. I kept going. I had fuel. I WAS TIRED AND SCARED AND SAD. I KEPT GOING.
When my nephew was released with my other sister who took him, there were many months of grueling court battles and even a court hearing for a chance for the father of my nephew, who I had custody of to fight for him….he didn't….I was CRUSHED for him. That was a punch in the gut. I wouldn't have given him up anyway, but it was hard to hear he was done with this beautiful little Hawaiian tanned baby boy that has a smile bigger than the sun. I continued my workout journey and even got my nephew up at 5 am with me as a workout buddy and got him his milk and blanky while he laid and watched cartoons before I took him to daycare.
At the time, I Didn't know HOW STRONG I WAS.
Years later, I FORGAVE MYSELF.
FOR NOT TAKING MY HURT NEPHEW. I took YEARS to let it go. YEARS.
I went to the gulf shores, woke up before the sunrise. And that day, I decided it was time. I ran 3 miles. Then watched the sun come up, then laid in the saltwater, went under…
AND LET IT GO. I forgave myself and let it go to GOD. He took all my weight and my burden of NOT BEING ENOUGH. Up into the sky went my unanswered questions. I know now that I will never know things. Like why adults hurt small children. Why things happen that break your heart into a million pieces. Why you try to protect your loved ones, but sometimes you just can't. I let these questions GO.
And without taking any time or any love away from my children and my sister's children and my family. I poured into myself. I finally felt myself becoming stronger. Not only mentally or physically with my health journey but spiritually. I felt closer to God, and I felt my purpose. I found myself, and even though I didn't know it through all of these hardships, I WAS strong, and I was ENOUGH. I was doing everything I could and more.
Then we had to put our beloved dog Zombie down because she was sick with cancer and could no longer control her bladder. This ROCKED our family. DEVASTATED our kids. She was their best friend, and it was tough for them and all of us.
Then we lost my father in law and it was brutal on my husband and my kids, then we lost my stepfather, which I took very hard, then six months later, my biological mother got breast cancer and had to have a breast removed. There wasn't much time to recover in between blows or, as I like to call them ….waves. Our world was ROCKED, and our boat was tipping. Our boat was tipping A LOT.
AND
Speaking of waves….
WAVE NUMBER 3
Which are currently becoming whitecaps out in the stormy sea as we speak and getting ready to rock my white sandy beaches.
We have a family member who is currently missing and without getting into too much detail because I feel it would be unfair to the rest of this family at this time…we believe there was foul play involved. We are all dangling at the biggest edge of the biggest cliff, right now as we speak. We don't entirely know what is coming our way, but we have an idea, and we WILL UNITE, and WE WILL persevere, and WE WILL hold hands and come together and be gentle with each other and do whatever it is we have to do. And I believe I am strong enough to help my family through this wave. We pray still it won't turn out badly, and we are holding on by that little tiny thread of light just to get us through. But even so. I know there is always going to be a light. A big bright one with the Lord in the middle, and I believe we will be ok.
I've had three flat tires in a month, one car in the shop twice to be repaired, and my brand new 20,000 camper just flooded. I have two teenaged children…one that likes to push limits and scare the holy bejesus out of me in the middle of the night and test all the waters… and just literally called me to tell me her battery is dead…yes, that's the car that has been in the shop twice. Oh yeah, and there is also a worldwide pandemic and riots going on. But I still get up every single day, flip on my camera, say hi to the world, and do what I love doing. Helping others find that CLICK, that LIGHTBULB, that FIRE in the pit of their stomachs to change and put the work in - better themselves. I laugh a little each time I get phone calls now when it's about flat tires and car repairs, and my daughter needs a ride from 2 towns away on a Sunday night, and it's 8 pm. I laugh because these are small things that used to piss me off. But now I see them as easy small little ripple waves.
There will be more BIG waves, and there will be smaller ripple waves. And I won't be ready. I will be stronger this time around, and even if I have to drop to my knees again and again. I will get up, and I will be ok. There have been other waves before these, but I feel that those waters have calmed and smoothed out, but that doesn't mean I still don't carry the scars. I've just steadied my boat.
Now I will never treat myself with unkind words. Sometimes when I am overwhelmed with hard things, I talk to myself and say… You're all right…you are all right… you're ok…. until I center. I will always put myself first to be the best possible me for my family and GOD. I no longer think of parts of my life as a nightmare but rather a season of growing and learning. I thank God for the years my husband had to grow and become a stronger father and person…without those years locked away, this could be a different story. I praise God my children were so young that they don't remember things that might have crushed them. And I believe wholeheartedly one hundred percent that people change. I believe most people are good. I believe in families sticking together; I believe that you have it in you to get through some very tough waves and battles in life, just like my family and I did and are doing still. I believe that you are tougher than you think. I believe God made us all strong. I believe change can be beautiful. If you look at things in a different light, you will see the sun where shadows once were. I also believe you need the dark, and that is a part of life. I believe that I am 36 years old, and my story is far from over. I believe in between these waves; we have the best of memories as well….kayaking, long sunny days at the lake grilling food and swimming, 16th birthdays, learners permits, family get-togethers for nieces and nephews…the ones at my sisters are the best!...new jobs, working together as a family on the house remodel, bike rides, watching sunsets on the front porch, and just waking up every single day and having each other. And I believe that no matter what, I'll always be ok. And so will you.
-"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf."-JON KABAT-ZINN
Wave #4…to be continued…
Hi friend!
Welcome to Bright Light.
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.
Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.
I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.
I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.
You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.
To each session, I bring my training as a Certified Conscious Coach, my graduate studies in Marriage and Family Therapy, and my decade-long career as an author and keynote speaker. My approach is multi-cultural, grounded in research and my own experience as the mama of two young girls.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Monthly Guide
Curious about what a session with me is like? Want to just kind of get a little sampler? I would too! Coaching is a big investment. Also think, how long have you been burdened with THIS and how great would it feel to be liberated from that weigh on your heart, that dark cloud following you around.
Click here to read in depth testimonials from clients.
Shine your brightest,
Courage to Become | Melissa Gauna
It was challenging going back to school while raising two young boys. But my husband was very supportive, and we made it work. It took me about 5-6 years to finish and complete my certifications as a holistic nutritionist and Nutritional Therapist. I'd travel from Atlanta, GA to Austin, TX, for exams, but I did it. It took time, sleepless nights of studying, reading, and researching, but it has been worth it.
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Melissa is one of them.
Enjoy Melissa’s story of becoming. I watch her on social media and admire the way she is so passionate about health and wellness for herself, and for her community. I have learned so much from her about nourishing our bodies. I know you will too! Please welcome, Melissa
Melissa Gauna, NTP, CHNC of Nutritional Therapy Services
Tell us a little bit about yourself:
Professionally, I'm a Nutritional Therapist who focuses on gut health and autoimmune conditions. I had some health challenges in the past, which I overcame using food.
Also, I'm a momma to 2 strong-willed boys, wife to a wonderfully loving, supportive husband, and I have a newfound love for house plants and herb gardens. As a nutritionist, I am passionate about my work and thoroughly enjoy helping others make dramatic improvements to their health.
I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma outside of Tulsa and will forever treasure the memories and friends made there. I now live in south Texas, in the Rio Grande Valley and have felt right at home as soon as I moved here. I believe in continuous self-improvement, in learning from others, and staying grounded. I love coffee, baking gluten-free goodies & spending time outdoors with my feet in the dirt/sand/grass!
On many occasions, you will find me [with a glass of organic red wine in tow] in the backyard following my husband around as he tends to the flower garden, lawn, and all of our beautiful plants. He's got the green thumb!
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
After I graduated from college with a business degree, I worked for a few years in marketing and sales. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it either. It was a paycheck. When I was growing up, the feeling was that you should go to school, find a good-paying job, and move up the corporate ladder. But it didn't feel right. I remember being at work daydreaming of being out there in the world doing anything else but doing the job I was doing then. The concept seemed foreign to me because I was raised believing that doing something on your own was too risky; you could fail and lose money, which would be irresponsible.
But it was always in the back of my mind to quit what I was doing and change careers. I dreamed of making my schedule, calling the shots in my own life and career. I didn't want to spend time making someone else money; I wanted to work independently. And life has a funny way of working out. Your thoughts have power.
My husband and I had decided to start a family, and I quit the sales job and focused on raising my family. After my first son, my health deteriorated, and to make a long story short; I exhausted my options in the conventional medical world. I went to many doctors, specialists, and everything in between. I couldn't find answers, and by God's grace, I somehow started reading and learning about how certain foods can affect skin conditions; I was dealing with debilitating eczema at the time. And from then, my life changed.
I found healing through food and decided that I wanted to help others heal as well. And the rest is history. I now work with my Nutritional Therapy clients and work at a local clinic here in Edinburg twice a week. More importantly, I have more freedom and call the shots in my own life and career. I make my schedule and have the freedom to walk away from any job/work that doesn't feel right. My work has a purpose, which to me - is more valuable than working for a paycheck.
How did it feel getting started?
Changing careers was not an easy decision. Your fear can hold you back, and I was afraid of what others would say. I worried that my business degree had been a waste of time. I worried about going back to school while my kids were little. And I talked myself out of it many times, thinking, "just stick to what you already know."
But I needed purpose. The idea of leaping was scary, but I kept thinking to myself, "I can't go back to corporate America." I had to do it.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started changing career paths?
It was challenging going back to school while raising two young boys. But my husband was very supportive, and we made it work. It took me about 5-6 years to finish and complete my certifications as a holistic nutritionist and Nutritional Therapist. I'd travel from Atlanta, GA to Austin, TX, for exams, but I did it. It took time, sleepless nights of studying, reading, and researching, but it has been worth it.
What motivates you to stay on this career path?
Helping others heal is a great motivator. And knowing you are making a difference in people's lives is very rewarding. When a client calls to tell me that their doctor took them off medication because of the changes they made to their diet and lifestyle, that's worth celebrating. Or when a client who has suffered from stomach issues most of their life writes to tell me that they no longer fear eating out with friends or no longer worry about running to the restroom or having an accident; you know their quality of life has improved!
Which living person do you most admire?
I admire my mother the most. She's been my biggest cheerleader all of my life. She loved being a stay at home, and I remember she was always there for my siblings and me growing up. She's a true nurturer, but don't get me wrong, she also pushed us hard. She expected a lot from us, which helped us not give up easily and be more disciplined.
When you're young, it's easy to give up on things that are hard and take the easy road, for example, school. But my parents, [particularly my mom] always pushed us not to be afraid of dreaming big. She taught us to take pride in everything we did and not settle for less than we deserve.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Honestly, I wish I had the gift of being organized. I can get distracted easily, so that can make it a challenge to stay on task when trying to organize my workspace, my living space, my time, etc..
What is your most marked characteristic?
I believe a marked feature of mine is a thirst for knowledge. I thoroughly enjoy reading and learning new things; I am almost always enrolled in some online courses. You could say I'm a course junkie.
What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?
There's a famous saying by Ben Franklin, "nothing is certain except death and taxes." However, somehow that evolved into a spin-off for me that goes something like, "there's always a solution to every problem, except death and taxes." This motto helps me remain solution-oriented; rather than focusing and lamenting over a particular problem. I accept the challenge and focus all of my attention on finding a solution. This is something I teach my boys, as well. When they're upset about something that has happened, whether in school or with friends, I remind them to focus on finding a solution. I feel people sometimes find themselves too focused on their problems when they should focus all of their energy on finding a solution to change their situation.
So I tell my kids, "don't' ever feel like there's a problem too big to solve; God's the answer, and we'll always find a solution." I never want my kids to feel like they're stuck or feel like there's no way out of a situation. I let them know they always have the power to change their situation and instill in them hope and strength within themselves to improve whatever makes them unhappy.
But I remind them, "there's no way out of death & taxes."
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
First of all, I'm proud to be raising two smart, curious, rambunctious boys. I'm proud to admit that I apologize to them when I'm wrong because I want them, it's ok to accept when your 'e wrong and work to make it right.
And of course, I feel proud to have completed a college degree, not only for myself but also because it made my parents proud. I'm proud to then have changed careers years later and go back to school again. And I'm also proud that my new career has been so fulfilling and that I'm able to help people get and stay healthy. It's a gratifying career.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in the mud?
What keeps me going is my faith and knowing that I am part of a bigger purpose; I believe we all have a purpose on this Earth and accept that life has challenges. It's how we face those challenges that make us who we are. My faith gives me hope, and so I hold onto it dearly.
What's one piece of advice you'd give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
One piece of advice I'd give to other women who are about to take a leap of faith is to trust the process. When you feel unhappy in a job, in a career, or in a relationship, that's God's way of telling you there's more out there. Find what gives you purpose, what fulfills you, and fiercely create a life you love.
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?: To my 20-year-old self, I'd tell her to stop caring about what others think of her. When you're young, worrying about other people can hold you back because of fear. It's the fear of being criticized or ridiculed, which often keeps us from dreaming big and putting ourselves out there. I had a lot of that, and I wish I could've changed that.
Melissa Gauna, NTP, CHNC
Nutritional Therapy Services, LLC offers nutritional counseling to address digestive disorders, blood sugar dysregulation, weight loss, adrenal fatigue, hormonal imbalances, food sensitivities and more. Nutritional Therapist and Certified Holistic Nutritionist, Melissa Gauna, counsels clients on how to use food as medicine and how to transition from the Standard American Diet (SAD) to a nutrient-dense, whole-foods diet. She believes in bio-individuality and believes the body has the innate ability to heal itself, given the right foods.
Melissa teaches group classes, offers corporate wellness programs and also counsels one-on-one. She is very passionate about her work and building strong relationships with her clients. If you have doctor's orders to eat better, Melissa can help bridge the gap between doctor's orders and your efforts at home. Melissa partners with licensed practitioners in the Rio Grande Valley to create true partnerships in health.
Be sure to connect with Melissa on
Instagram // Facebook // and on her website - Heal Your Gut Love Your Body
Hi friend!
Welcome to Bright Light.
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.
Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.
I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.
I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.
You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.
To each session, I bring my training as a Certified Conscious Coach, my graduate studies in Marriage and Family Therapy, and my decade-long career as an author and keynote speaker. My approach is multi-cultural, grounded in research and my own experience as the mama of two young girls.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Monthly Guide
Shine your brightest,
Courage to Become | Lindsay Gath
The day that I got my first big call from my transplant coordinator, I remember where I was standing. As soon as she started to speak, I felt sick and started sweating, my heart was racing, and I was pacing the room as I went quickly through the questions they would ask on every call to make sure I was the right patient. As soon as she said there was a match, I sat down and felt a huge sense of relief and excitement flow over me.
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Lindsay is one of them.
Enjoy her story of becoming. I have never met Linsday in person, but I feel like she’s my friend! Her sister, Courtney, and I used to write together for Austin Moms Blog, and as I got to know Courtney better, I had the pleasure of crossing digital paths with Linsday. Her story brought me chills and tears. Women have phenomenal capacity. - Please welcome, Lindsay
Lindsay Gath
When Catia reached out about sharing my story in her Courage to Become series, I was honored that she thought of me. I wanted to share the most significant part of my life: I’ve received the gift of life through a living donor kidney transplant, but I also wanted to share my back story and what led to where I’m now.
When I was 11 years old (in 1992), I became extremely sick. For months I had been waking up with swollen ankles and puffy eyes, but I had felt normal up until then. After a doctor’s visit, we were sent on to different specialists to figure out what was wrong, because some of my blood work looked alarming. I eventually had a kidney biopsy that diagnosed me as having something called Membranoproliferative Glomerulonephritis (MPGN Type 1). I thought I was cool for knowing how to spell encyclopedia in the 3rd grade, but this took me to another level. We found out it was caused by Strep throat at some point, which I used to get frequently as a kid. I was treated and seen routinely to keep things under control, but I went throughout my childhood trying to ignore my chronic kidney disease and pretend I was no different from the other kids. It was just not something I wanted to focus on, but it could not be ignored a few times throughout my life. When I met my husband, he was aware of the “situation.” When we decided to try and have kids, I had to be monitored extremely closely. I delivered a few days after my due date with my son, but the second time around was slightly different. My kidneys were not fairing as well, and they ended up putting me on modified bed rest for a few days and then admitted me to the hospital for a few rounds of steroid injections to help improve the baby’s lung growth before delivery. Our daughter was delivered seven weeks early in December of 2007. Even though leaving her in the hospital as we headed home was one of the hardest things we’ve done, she was a tough little cookie and only spent 9 days in the NICU, which was much shorter than they anticipated. Over time my kidneys calmed down a bit, and life returned to “normal” with my regular nephrology check-ups and medications.
Fast forward to late 2016, when at one of my regular nephrology check-ups, I was told that my kidney function was around 25%, and I would need to start thinking and talking with family and friends about my future and the possibility of needing a transplant. I honestly was in a bit of shock, mainly because I would normally just attend my regular check-ups and keep moving along, not paying much attention to my kidney function as they always made it seem like I was stable. I have since learned to read my labs on my own like a hawk. When they told me it was time to start thinking of my options such as dialysis and transplant, I felt scared and sad about it, knowing that the possibility of this huge life change was closer than I ever expected. I couldn’t ignore it and pretend as if there was nothing wrong anymore either.
When I put my mind to something, a lot of times without even thinking it all the way through, I just jump in headfirst. It’s a blessing and a curse. This was one of those times, though, that I jumped. I had so much to live for, and I wanted to fight with everything I had in me. I made connections with anyone I could to get the right info I needed to push forward. I ended up finding out that you’re not always referred to a transplant center by your own doctor. You’re often referred straight to dialysis, and you call the transplant center yourself before they work with your doctor to start the process towards transplant, so I did just that. I called up a transplant center myself and started there. I was so nervous when I called them, and it felt bizarre to call up and say, “Hey. I need to get evaluated for a transplant. Can we set that up?” Once the ball was rolling, I was eventually evaluated in early 2017 at the University Transplant Center in San Antonio, TX.
I don’t know why exactly, but it felt like a natural step to let family and friends know through Facebook Live what was going on. Most of the people I had met in adulthood didn’t even know I had a chronic kidney disease because I never really made it a topic. It ended up being more than I expected as friends and family shared my videos, and my transplant center was overwhelmed with people that applied to see if they could be a living donor candidate for me. People that I didn’t even know personally. This still makes me so emotional to think about. I was blown away! I heard from friends that I had not seen or talked to in over 20 years, and friends of friends who lived out of state and had never met me that had applied to try and donate a kidney to me. And honestly, I still don’t even know everyone that did apply because, of course the transplant center couldn’t tell me who they all were. I hated not knowing so that I could properly thank every one of them for trying.
Donor testing started once I was approved for transplant and was made active on the UNOS (United Network of Organ Sharing) list, which would allow me to receive a kidney from a deceased donor. However, with my blood type (O+), I could be looking at anywhere from 5-8 years, because even though I would be a universal donor to all other blood types, I would only be able to receive from another O blood type. Knowing this made me push everywhere and anywhere I could to get closer to transplant with a living donor match. I wanted a preemptive transplant, which meant avoiding dialysis entirely if possible and getting to transplant before that was needed. There’s only a small window of when you can even be evaluated by a transplant facility vs. when you need dialysis to stay alive, and I was heading through that window quickly. Dialysis was a terrifying thought for me. Imagining having to spend so much time away from my family, and the other health complications that can come with it made me frustrated and feel a stronger sense of urgency. Every step forward in the transplant process was a huge accomplishment, but I also felt like I was in a race against time, because as your kidney function declines, it can decline faster and faster towards the end. By the time I was active on the UNOS list, my kidney function had decreased and was now under 20% in total. They usually start testing those that are closest to you and work their way outward with the thinking that those closest to you would be more committed to going through the whole process.
When I got my first big call from my transplant coordinator, I remember where I was standing. As soon as she started to speak, I felt sick and started sweating, my heart was racing, and I was pacing the room as I went quickly through the questions they would ask on every call to make sure I was the right patient. As soon as she said there was a match, I sat down and felt a huge sense of relief and excitement flow over me. The match was my sister. As soon as I got off the phone, I text my husband and said, “I need you to call me.” I knew he would be in meetings, but we also had an understanding that if anything new or serious happened -- well, he knew when it was an urgent matter as we felt we were always on call. I would answer every single ring of my phone just in case. My sister would be sent on through further testing to make sure she would be healthy enough to donate because that is the most important thing to make certain at that point.
Weeks later, our roller coaster took another turn as my husband was leaving work to head home. When he got in his car, my mom was calling him. My sister had found out earlier that day that they had found some kidney stones (of all things) during her donor testing, and even though she hadn’t been affected by them, she was no longer able to donate. There would be a concern that I would then have complications from kidney stones, or that my sister would be left with one kidney and have complications. My mom and sister were struggling with letting me know, so my husband came home to give me the news that we were back to square one. At that moment, I was sad and exhausted, but I also knew that it would all be okay eventually. I was sad that I wasn’t going to share that moment with my sister because she’s the person I’m closest to other than my husband. With this news also came that my brother-in-law (my sister’s husband) had gotten a call right after my sister had hung up with the transplant coordinators about her quandary and was told that he was a match. It didn’t make sense, though, because he wasn’t even the same blood type as me. It ended up being a massive miscommunication on the transplant teams’ part, so the range of emotions that day was honestly enough to drain me for a while. There were a few mishaps, but I do see how it happens. Every person involved is in it for the end goal, for extending life and health, and they care about you deeply.
I knew that my sister’s best friend was also one of the ones that they had tested more recently around this time. I had grown up knowing her, admiring her, and she’s just plain fun to be around. She’s one of the most passionate and well-meaning people I’ve ever met, and she cares about people deeply. At one point during testing, she had called and asked me more about how the paired exchange program worked and how that would help me if she were not a match for me. A paired donation is where one recipient from one pair is compatible with the donor from another pair, and vice versa. The transplant center may arrange for a “swap,” but it can also lead to donation chains where multiple donors and recipients are involved. This is also the Shea Jones that Catia featured in her Courage to Become series in June of this year. The day I got my second call was a weekend in September of 2017. My husband and son were out running some errands with me, and as we were driving, my phone rang, and it was my sister’s best friend, Shea.
I could tell in her voice that something serious was happening. She told me she was my match, and as my heart raced and I took it all in, the tears started to flow. Shea asked me, “You’re crying because this is good, right?” She wondered if October 26th would work, which was literally about a month later. Anytime would have worked for me honestly. I couldn’t believe it. It’s not as easy finding a match as the movies make it look, so the fact that my sister brought this person into our life could not have been more perfect. Shea and I called my sister on a 3-way call and told her right away, together. We were now in this as one unit, and it just felt right.
About two weeks before I had gotten that call from Shea, I had the most real dream I had ever woken up from wherein I had found out that Shea was my match. I had told my husband and kids about it and had even text my family about it. On the morning of October 26th, 2017, that dream came true. From the day I initially contacted the transplant center until the day of surgery, almost exactly a year had gone by. The night before transplant, Shea and I, along with our families, stayed close to the hospital as we had to be up extremely early. We met down in the hotel lobby before the sun was up along with our husbands and my sister before heading to the hospital, where our families joined us later. In pre-op, they had us separated until I asked if we could be together, and Shea said yes. I just needed her close by. It didn’t feel right any other way. Was I afraid of what was about to happen? Yes. But, I also had no other choice at that point. My kidney function was down to a total of 12% on the morning of transplant. They prepped us both, and I was doing good until they rolled Shea away and started her operation before taking me back. I was overcome with emotion and worried about Shea, and the reality of it all hit me. One of the nurses came over and hugged me tightly. When they rolled me back before I was put to sleep, I asked my doctor if Shea was doing okay, and he said she was. He told me she was right next door, and that if I looked up at the monitor above me, I could see her on the operating table. It was the last thing I remembered before they got me to sleep. During our concurrent surgeries, our husbands were updated by text as to how everything was going. When they hooked up Shea’s kidney inside me, he was told that the kidney started working immediately, which was fantastic news.
I woke up quickly after surgery and felt different already. It was amazing. Because I had been “sick” for so long, I felt this instant relief to my body. The air around me felt cleaner, and I just felt good. Shea and I were in different rooms, me in ICU, but we were on the same hospital floor. We FaceTimed and talked for a bit, and my husband caught the whole thing on video, which is quite funny to look back at now. We were both pretty doped up still, and our families were in our rooms, which felt like one big party. At one point, Shea’s nurse had come into the room, and I met her through FaceTime, and Shea asked how soon we could see each other. The nurse told us probably the next day, but if you know both Shea and me, that was not the answer we were willing to accept. Shea convinced one of her nurses late that night if she could be wheeled to my room, and we got to see each other that day.
The next day I was moved out of my ICU room, closer to her, and we were able to walk the halls together soon after. My lab numbers, especially kidney function, improved hourly it seemed, and we were thankful to head home just a few days later. To say the journey of transplant has been easy though, is not the full truth. It is rewarding and happy most of the time, but there have also been challenges. I went through acute rejection three short weeks after transplant, where I had to be admitted for some heavy-duty IV meds that thankfully stopped it from harming my new little kidney. I have had three kidney biopsies on the new kidney, too much lab work to count, medication changes and adjustments. I am on antirejection medications that suppress my immune system for the rest of my life. The energy that I now have and the deeper appreciation I have for, the smaller things in life are worth it! And I love carrying a piece of Shea with me forever. Seeing my scar reminds me daily of our connection.
One of the challenges I bring upon myself is that I often feel like I’m not doing enough to fully live with this extension on life that I’ve been given. I feel the need to push myself farther intentionally. I’m currently taking college classes full time right now, working on getting my bachelor's in Health Sciences from West Texas A&M and ultimately certification as a Child Life Specialist. This will allow me to walk alongside kids and their families in the medical journey they are on and advocate for them when they are in a tough space. I know exactly what it’s like to be there as a kid. In the meantime, I’ve had many connections open to me because of my experiences, which I love. I was able to help organize the National Kidney Foundation Walk in Austin in 2017. I have been able to use my voice in the kidney community because of another connection that I made after being asked to join as a Field Ambassador for the state of Texas through the oldest and largest, independent kidney patient organization in the U.S. – AAKP (American Association of Kidney Patients). I hope to become even more involved with them over time as they are an excellent resource for any patient (or family member) who has chronic kidney disease, is on dialysis, or is a transplant recipient. Meeting so many people in the kidney community and hearing all of their different stories has shown me that we all have perseverance when we need it. You may think it’s not there, but you can find it when you’re dealt with hard things. My hope in sharing the journey I’m living is that it reaches someone who needs it most. Organ donation is a very powerful thing, and I will be forever grateful for this life I’ve been given because of it.
If anyone would like to sign up to make that gift of life happen for another when they’re gone, they can go to www.registerme.org but also let their families know their wishes.
No need to take those organs with you if they can help someone in need.
Great resources for kidney patients: www.aakp.org
You can connect with Lindsay on her Instagram or Facebook Page.
Hi friend!
Welcome to Bright Light.
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.
Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.
I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.
I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.
You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.
To each session, I bring my training as a Certified Conscious Coach, my graduate studies in Marriage and Family Therapy, and my decade-long career as an author and keynote speaker. My approach is multi-cultural, grounded in research and my own experience as the mama of two young girls.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Monthly Guide
Shine your brightest,
Courage to Become | Dr. Danielle Fox
One month after my hospitalization, I woke up (the day after my 35th birthday) and could not feel my right hand. I could not hold onto anything and realized that I had developed a tremor. This was unfortunate, as we were in Las Vegas celebrating my birthday with my parents and one of our closest friends. Things continued from there, and, by August, I agreed to a spinal tap (the final piece to the diagnostic puzzle).
The results came in - Multiple Sclerosis. We were in shock. I had watched my husband's best friend from law school go through his MS diagnosis and seen what a hard time he had had. I was terrified. Deep down, I knew exactly what was going on but did not want to admit it to myself.
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Danielle is one of them.
I have always admired Danielle and used to be intimidated by her. She always seemed so strong and in her power, and way back when - I didn’t know how to be like that, and so when I saw women operating in that way - it was a little scary! Eventually, my intimidation shifted to admiration. I have watched her and seen her work from afar, but I had no idea ALL that she was battling. She’s an absolute superhero. Please welcome, Danielle.
Dr. Danielle D. Fox
Ph.D., CRC, NBC-HWC
from Essentials for Integrative Health
Where do I begin?
When approached about writing about "my story," I was humbled and excited about the opportunity. Then reality set in, and I realized that I am not comfortable being so "open" about my story. The truth is that I have spent the past 22 years living my life and rolling with the punches without much thought about how my trials, tribulations, and triumphs may help or inspire others. With that being said, here goes!
The beginning
How did I get to where I am today? It truly is overwhelming when I sit and think about this. How do I get this whole story down into a page or two?
How do I tell this story? Well, bear with me as I try to do my best with it all. I will summarize how I ended up where I am today while focusing on the "big" events in my life that altered my course.
Who am I?
What a question, "Who am I?". Do any of us truly know who we are? As our lives change and take form and move in different directions, ebbing and flowing, the answer to this question most likely changes. I am today very different from who I was yesterday, last year, ten years ago, etc.
Which version of myself am I today?
I am an uber Type A, perfectionist personality. I am a doer! I push myself. I also can be quite stubborn, and I feel this has kept me going despite the obstacles thrown in my path.
I am also a wife, daughter, friend, Ph.D., Certified Rehabilitation Counselor, Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, Advocate, Ally, and the list goes on.
I am a genuine and fair individual, and I do my best to help others.
How did I get here?
I started dating my husband 22 years ago. I was working toward my bachelor's when we met and was in a place where I did not know what I wanted to do. Once we had been dating a while, Aaron encouraged me to finish school and figure out what I wanted to do. After many years of changing my major and finally deciding on Psychology, I realized that more school was in my future.
But first, we got married!
Aaron and I were married in 2003, and I couldn't do much with a Psych degree. I started evaluating graduate programs. At the time, Aaron and I were being moved to California, so I had applications to UC Bakersfield for a Master's in Clinical Psychology and an application to UTPA for Communication Disorders on my desk at home. I understand these are two different routes, but please bear with me. Aaron and I ended up staying in Texas, and I applied to the Communication Disorders program at UTPA. I was admitted to the Communication Disorders program as a Special Student. This required 27 undergraduate coursework hours before starting the master's level coursework.
I completed all requirements and found myself working as a Medical Speech-Language Pathologist in local hospitals in the Rio Grande Valley.
I loved what I was doing, and the hospital's fast pace was a good fit for my uber Type A personality. I was busy running around all day, and I loved my patients and their families.
I need to back up here for a minute.
Before my official working in hospitals, I had undergone a hysterectomy a week after my 30th birthday due to severe fibroid tumors. This is relevant because this change in my life course led me to seek more education.
While all of my friends were having children, I was looking for a Ph.D. program!
I found the Ph.D. in Rehabilitative Counseling program at UTPA (now UTRGV).
I spoke with the program director and discovered rehabilitative counseling as the perfect marriage of my communication disorders education and my psychology background. I applied to the program and was admitted. However, I did need to take 27 hours of master's level coursework before starting my Ph. D. level coursework. Wait, I am beginning to see a trend here.
This is where things changed…
I loved my Ph.D. program! I was working at 2 area hospitals as a medical speech-language pathologist and taking full-time Ph.D. level coursework. I was one busy person, and my uber Type A personality was thriving… or so I thought.
Before I share this part of the story, I will give some background. I have had neurological things going on here and there since I was about 14 years old. I was a dancer (ballet, tap, jazz, pointe, lyrical, hip-hop, tumbling, etc.), so I always attributed any "odd" sensations as a result of not stretching, too much stretching, or an injury. I would have bouts of extreme fatigue that, again, were attributed to doing too much. In January of the second semester of my first year of Ph.D. level coursework, I contracted pertussis from a child I was working within one of the hospitals. I am asthmatic and was more susceptible to developing full-blown pertussis. I had never been so sick in my life! I was still taking 12 hours of Ph.D. level coursework and working when I could. Things continued on a downhill trajectory from this point on (health-wise). That March, our home was destroyed by a once in a 100 years storm. I was still recovering from pertussis, and then the next storm hit.
While all of this was going on, I realized I had had severe pain in my left eye for almost two months. Naturally, I thought nothing of it and just dealt with it. It is probably a good time to report that my trainer had noticed some severe visual deficits and had been complaining about my vision for about 18 months.
By the time I started complaining about the severe stabbing pain in my eye, my vision was getting worse, and my balance was affected. I worked out with my trainer on a Saturday morning and could not hold my balance to save my life! I looked and felt drunk and, by the time I got home, my left eye was drooping. I thought I was having a stroke!
The diagnosis…
I called my eye doctor right then, and by Wednesday, I was in the neurologist's office. I was hospitalized the following Monday (I was in the middle of finals and negotiated my report date for the hospital). I was diagnosed with Optic Neuritis and was hospitalized for five days on an IV Solu-Medrol drip. At this time, everyone thought this was an isolated incident. We would soon find out otherwise. One month after my hospitalization, I woke up (the day after my 35th birthday) and could not feel my right hand. I could not hold onto anything and realized that I had developed a tremor. This was unfortunate, as we were in Las Vegas celebrating my birthday with my parents and one of our closest friends. Things continued from there, and, by August, I agreed to a spinal tap (the final piece to the diagnostic puzzle).
The results came in - Multiple Sclerosis. We were in shock. I had watched my husband's best friend from law school go through his MS diagnosis and seen what a hard time he had had. I was terrified. Deep down, I knew exactly what was going on but did not want to admit it to myself.
We started seeing specialists and, after one horrible experience at the Cleveland Clinic, I found myself at UCSF with the incredible neurologist ever! My whole perspective and level of MS care shifted once I started seeing Dr. Liz Crabtree. I continued my Ph.D. coursework and modified my schedule. I started sitting fall semesters out so that I could focus on my health. This is where my health journey truly began.
My health journey…
I changed my diet/lifestyle. I was a gluten-free vegan and had completely given up alcohol! This was not the best fit for me, as I was on 5 IV steroid treatments that first year (2012). I was encouraged to modify my diet and work on the best fit for me. Here's the kicker… each MS-specific diet book is a different diet! How is someone supposed to follow one thing when there is so much contradictory information out there? I became my own advocate and started researching and trying different things for myself. I tried different diets, supplements, alternative therapies. You name it, and I have tried it. My MS is much more active than my doctors would like, but it is what it is.
I continue to work on finding the perfect balance for me. At this time, that balance is diet/lifestyle, a ton of supplements, getting out of the heat and into a temperate climate for a significant portion of the year, medical cannabis and CBD, yoga, massage, and mindfulness.
Where this has brought me…
After being set back almost two years as a result of the MS diagnosis, I graduated with my Ph.D. in Rehabilitative Counseling in December 2017. Now what??? I had spent so much time "working on" my Ph.D., that attaining it was anticlimactic. You work so hard on something for so long, despite severe setbacks and limitations that you are almost numb when you finally reach the finish line. After looking into different options with my newfound title, I stumbled onto Integrative Health Coaching. This was the perfect marriage of my education and my personal experience. Who is better equipped to help individuals with change than someone that has been (and continues to go) through so much themselves?
Where I am today…
I researched programs and applied to the Integrative Health Coaching program through Duke University's School of Integrative Medicine. I didn't tell anyone I applied; I just did it an crossed my fingers. I was accepted and took my first trip to Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina! I completed the foundation course through Duke University, then the Certification course, and the National Board Certifying Exam.
I am a National Board-Certified Integrative Health Coach trained by Duke University Integrative Medicine. Wow, that's a mouthful!
I work with individuals in making meaningful and lasting lifestyle changes by focusing on the whole person. I love what I do! I have finally found my calling and use for all of my education and personal experience. I work with an Integrative Medicine specialist, and I, myself, walk the walk.
I understand that I have glossed over the nitty-gritty details of my MS struggles. I feel this piece is intended more for how I got to where I am rather than my actual daily struggle.
MS is something I deal with.
It is with me all day, every day. My days are quite unpredictable as I may overdo it one day and have nothing in me the next. I live in a constant state of trying to maintain balance and do not always succeed.
This diagnosis has taught me a lesson in patience; however, I still struggle with my uber Type-A tendencies and am constantly reminding myself to slow down!
I am still working on what is best for me and am happy to sit down and discuss my MS journey in more detail if you would like to contact me. In a nutshell, I have had to make significant lifestyle changes and acknowledge my limitations. I have had to learn to say "NO" and put myself first. This is not always easy, and I (often) seem like I am unreliable.
Those closest to me know about my daily struggles, but even they do not see the whole of it. I am ME, and I do my best to continue to work toward helping others. I hope this sharing is able to help you
Sending each of you my best,
Danielle
Dr. Danielle D Fox, PhD, CRC, NBC-HWC is a National Board Certified Integrative Health Coach. Trained by Duke University’s School of Integrative Medicine. Dr. Fox is a PhD in Rehabilitative Counseling and is a Certified Rehabilitation Counselor.
During her second year of PhD coursework, Dr. Fox was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). This diagnosis lead to Dr. Fox embarking on her own personal health and wellness journey. Dr. Fox's doctoral research assessed the role of Locus of Control and how that relates to Quality of Life among individuals with Multiple Sclerosis. Through her research, Dr. Fox found, that in most chronic conditions, individuals with an internal locus of control tend to fare better. What does this mean? This means that individuals that are more proactive and hold themselves accountable in their health tend to exhibit better clinical outcomes. In researching the MS population, Dr. Fox found that there is, in fact, a relationship between an internal locus of control and improved quality of life scores among individuals with MS. What does this mean for you? This means that Dr. Fox has the experience and tools to empower clients and facilitate meaningful and healthy lifestyle changes.
Through her own personal experience with Integrative Medicine, Dr. Fox found that by implementing lifestyle changes (in all areas of her life) she was able to better manage her chronic condition and improve her overall health and well being. This personal health and well being journey, combined with Dr. Fox's education and area of research, provides her with a different perspective and understanding of the importance and value of implementing lifestyle changes as well as the tools necessary to assist you on your journey.
You can connect with Danielle via her website
Essentials for Integrative Health , Facebook , or Instagram
Hi friend!
Welcome to Bright Light.
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.
Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.
I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.
I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.
You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.
To each session, I bring my training as a Certified Conscious Coach, my graduate studies in Marriage and Family Therapy, and my decade-long career as an author and keynote speaker. My approach is multi-cultural, grounded in research and my own experience as the mama of two young girls.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Monthly Guide
Shine your brightest,
Courage to Become | Rachel Duffy
When I finally, and against all odds pulled through, I heard the call of the universe to stop and reevaluate my life. The universe was calling on me to step into a more authentic version of myself, to heal, to become. I was given a second chance, a chance to be my own hero, to save myself by stepping out of victimhood and claiming my life.
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere and Rachel is one of them.
Rachel and I are sisters. I am truly lucky to call her friend. We studied together with Dr. Shefali Tsabary - and got to know each other in New York at our graduation. I absolutely respect and admire her. She is strong and smart and giving. Anyone who works with her is absolutely blessed. She’s so so wise. Enjoy her story of becoming.
Rachel Duffy from Sagacity Lab
When I was 20 years old, I got diagnosed with Crohn’s disease after 2 long years of elusive symptoms and multiple hospital visits all resulting in “we can’t find anything wrong with you, are you under unusual stress?”.
On one hand, it was a relief to receive a diagnosis, because it meant I would get treatment and it validated that my pain wasn’t “all in my head”, but at the same time, it put me on a path of self-denial, shame, anger, and resistance.
You see, Crohn’s disease is a chronic, genetic, autoimmune disease that affects the GI tract. One of its hallmark symptoms is severe abdominal cramps and diarrhea. As a young, attractive and otherwise healthy woman, I felt shame that I had a chronic disease (chronic diseases are for “old people”) and even more shame because it was a “bathroom” disease that I didn’t want to talk about with my friends. I did as many 20-year-olds do, and while I took my medications as prescribed, I otherwise ignored the fact that this was part of my life. I pretended like everything was normal and continued on through Law School, had a successful career as a litigator, moved with my ex-husband across the world, did a career pivot into business, etc. On the outside, I was living a super successful, enviable life. On the inside, I was angry and bitter. This entire time, more than a decade since my diagnosis, I had been harboring rage and self-pity. Why did I get this? Why did my body betray me like this? Why me?
It wasn't until 2004, when I turned 31, that my methods of denial had finally caught up with me.
Coupled with the slow disintegration of my first marriage, my symptoms became increasingly worse, uncontrolled by any medication, and led me to surgery for bowel resection in January of 2004. Little did I know that this “straightforward” procedure would snowball into 4 more back to back surgeries, extensive time in ICU, an induced weeks-long coma, complication after complication, and almost 10 months of hospitalization.
When I finally, and against all odds pulled through, I heard the call of the universe to stop and reevaluate my life. The universe was calling on me to step into a more authentic version of myself, to heal, to become. I was given a second chance, a chance to be my own hero, to save myself by stepping out of victimhood and claiming my life.
I divorced my first husband and eventually started to date a man who later on became my husband and father of my 3 kids. He was instrumental in helping me heal from my self-loathing, self-denial, internal shame, and rage that I had been carrying around with me all those years.
He was the first person who really “saw” me and it was through his eyes that I was able to see myself, to accept that Crohn’s was a part of me just like brown hair was a part of me. To step out of the mindset that I was so unlucky to have gotten this in the first place, to realize it wasn’t good or bad, it just was.
Fast forward 15 years, I am now 47. I’ve had Crohn’s disease longer than I have not. I do not wish I never had it, I do not pray for a cure (beyond my prayer that every disease be cured), I do not feel anger or hurt recounting the past, I feel completely neutral about it, and I embrace it and love this part of myself like I love other parts of myself.
Sometimes you need someone to help you become yourself. I am lucky my husband came into my life at the right time, put me on a path to healing and acceptance. For that, I will forever be grateful.
He inspired me to step further into my true self by becoming a teacher and coach. I left the corporate world and became certified as a Conscious Parenting Coach. I now help my clients go through some of the transformations I went through: to accept themselves, reveal their true parts and integrate them instead of burying them under layers of shame, self-loathing, and denial. This in turn allows them to live their highest potential as human beings, parents, or executive leaders.
More about Rachel:
I’ve walked the path you’re walking now. I’ve been frustrated in my career and pivoted (more than once!), I’ve been in a marriage that didn’t work and gotten a divorce, I’ve repressed my true self so much that it manifested in physical symptoms, I’ve been stuck on the precipice of change for decades without finding the courage or the way to forge through.
Why? Because I followed the script, plan, blueprint, expectation, pattern that was laid before me and had been passed on for generations in my family. Because I had been so severed from my true essence and spirit, that I had no idea how to speak my truth or what it was. Because I was so attached to how I labeled myself and how others saw me that I could only lead from a place of ego. Because I did not feel worthy.
So what about you? Do you ever feel you are not at your personal best when you parent? Do you have the sense you could be suffering less and enjoying more, but just can’t figure out how to do that? Do you know you could be leading your company in a much more effective way, but haven’t found the right path yet?
I have good news. This is where you start to shift the outdated paradigm you’ve been working from. The blueprint you’ve been following which isn’t aligned with your true self.
Backed by experience as a family law litigator and mediator, coupled with organizational and leadership skills that emerged in the military, I have devoted my professional life to injecting consciousness in all relationships. Understanding human interaction and promoting the success of children and adults has always been my passion.
As a family law litigator, I observed how our own upbringing affects us even as adults, and gets in the way of our personal and professional relationships, making it nearly impossible to resolve conflict in mutually beneficial ways. Facing challenges that every parent faces, I had to develop wisdom, clarity, and examine my own motivations and agenda that was getting in the way of parenting with sagacity. It was here that I made a commitment to consciousness and to change.
Deepening my studies, I became a certified Conscious Parenting coach studying under Dr. Shefali Tsabary, a world-renowned clinical psychologist & pioneer of Conscious Parenting, and launched my private practice.
I took my combined multidisciplinary skills and applied them both in the personal setting, with families, as well as in the corporate setting, with leaders and executives.
If you need a nudge in the right direction, someone to help you awaken into your fullest potential, someone to help you make the quantum leap you’ve been waiting to take - I’m your girl.
When I’m not working, I enjoy yoga, travel, and a strong shot of Turkish coffee. You’ll often find me spending time with my family, which consists of my husband, three children, and a beloved puppy.
-Rachel Duffy
To connect with Rachel find her here:
www.sagacitylab.com // Facebook // Instagram // Linked In
Hi friend!
Welcome to Bright Light.
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.
Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.
I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.
I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.
You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.
To each session, I bring my training as a Certified Conscious Coach, my graduate studies in Marriage and Family Therapy, and my decade-long career as an author and keynote speaker. My approach is multi-cultural, grounded in research and my own experience as the mama of two young girls.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Monthly Guide
Shine your brightest,
Courage to Become | Iliasis Muniz
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?
Be exactly who you are, and believe in yourself no matter what.
At twenty years old all I was thinking about was getting married and having babies. Although my life was 100% opposite of what I thought I wanted, I knew who I still wanted to be inside. I just wanted to be me. Whoever that girl was, I just wanted to be the most honest and open soul for myself and others.
By 20, I was living at my ex-husband's parents' house and basically without a job. He saved me from being out on the streets and moving from house to house. I will never regret my love for him, but I will regret thinking I was just a woman who could only marry and have children.
Life, later on, proved I was more than just that.
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Iliasis is one of them.
Enjoy her story of becoming. Iliasis and I started working together about 5 years ago. She photographed Alexandra for her 1-year portraits, they were divine and we’ve been working together and friends ever since. I have seen her grown and stretch and step into her own light. Please welcome, Iliasis.
Iliasis Muniz from Iliasis Muniz Photography
Tell us a little bit about yourself:
On growing up:
I can say that my most favorite place to live has so far been Texas. I have been in the South Padre Island area (bay area) for 15 years this summer, and it has allowed me to be who I always wanted to be for myself. My mother, who I do not have a relationship with anymore, took me on a roller coaster of a ride since the day I was born.
I was born in Hampton, Va, and visited my father/family for the first time when I was three years old. My father was getting married to another woman when my mother was pregnant with me, and let's say that I understood why she wanted to leave our beautiful island of Puerto Rico.
Shortly after, my mother fell in love with a man named Johnny, who was in the Navy, and he showed my mother and me the world. We lived in Hawaii, Italy, and visited many other places. Then at the age of 11, my mother ran into an incident with the law, and there I went for the first time to live with my grandmother in Puerto Rico.
Her mom, who was already taking care of my older brother Bryan who is Autistic. She was the one who also was extremely overprotective and lived in a poor area. It was humbling to be raised where I thought my whole life was supposed to take place. Time passes by, and my momma was ready to care for me again. I am now 15, and she is living in Texas with her new boyfriend. I knew when I got on that plane; I wasn't going back to Puerto Rico. I had experienced a lot already as it was and felt like my life would not have been able to grow if I'd stay in Puerto Rico.
Again, my relationship with my mother has always been a confusing journey. Now almost 30, I have realized a lot of my mother's decision had nothing to do with me, yet it felt like it was against me. I went back to my mother with so much anger and confusion and felt abandoned by her. I didn't understand why she'd just drop me off, so at 17 years old, I left the house to go live with my first boyfriend and lover.
My mother and I fell into another argument, and the words she expressed to me that day put fire in my heart to be a better version of myself to prove to her I could make it without her ever again. She said, "Of course I'll choose him over you, he pays the bills you don't.”
From that moment on, I had a mission to give myself the best I had to offer without her or anyone's judgment. I've been without my family here in Texas ever since. Of course, I visit my family back in Puerto Rico every year or two, but my mother... she is who made me and created me! She is who I will forever thank for giving me a chance to live life on my own. I love her and understand her, but I didn't have to become her. That is what I want and hope for others to know.
On love:
I have also experienced a nine-year relationship with my ex-husband, which was not a smooth journey. The man I married was intelligent, handsome, and had the family goals that I never thought existed. He was, at one point, the man of my dreams, but of course, with time and growing, things change. We changed as a couple, and we changed as individuals.
I never thought I would find out two months before my wedding that my future husband had cheated on me and was dabbling in a lifestyle of the "rich and famous". I believe that when we fall hard onto the ground face first, we mustn't cry, and we mustn't allow others to see our pain. However, we should take that pain and turn it into victories and positivity for ourselves. At least that is how I cope through difficult times.
Two years passed and life took us both again into two different directions. My reasons for staying with a spouse who cheated were my own, and I knew no one could ever take that away from me because I was going to be the only one who would experience it. My life with my ex-husband not only showed me what I did and did not want for myself anymore, but it also brought incredible observation as to why I made certain choices in my life while growing up. I am forever grateful for this struggle as it has indeed brought out my soul's strength that I always knew was there.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
The one thing I dreamt of doing was being a boss. Running someone's company and being able just to be free. I never thought my dream would come true. Now here I am running a boss babe business all on my own and feeling freer than ever in life. It came with a lot of hard work, but not once did I ever doubt myself. I lost girlfriends at the beginning of my career because they simply didn't think I was serious. Eight years this September, I continue to be blessed and thankful for all of what God has given me. My strength, my pure soul, and open heart were what got me here. I've had this drive since I was 15, looking for the opportunity to become who I wanted to become.
How did it feel getting started?
It felt exhilarating! I knew I wanted it; I knew I had what it took. My life had gotten me there for a reason. I never mentioned this prior because every detail is hard to remember about your life, but as I look back on it all now, God had set me up for this career. I just hadn't realized it yet. Before finding my career as a professional photographer, I worked three jobs. I worked at clothing store Isla/Rica as a sales rep, I was a teller at a local bank, and the bank owner hired me as his bookkeeper for his new restaurant on the island. What a perfect way to prep before starting your own business! Sales, banking, and bookkeeping. At 22 I didn’t think I was ready. Yet, here He is making things happen all because I just listened to Him. I am beyond grateful for the growth from then to now and can say He truly exists, and we just simply have to listen to what he gives us in our lives.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started as a photographer?
To be honest, the hardest obstacle that I had faced when I got started was losing my relationship with my ex-husband. I didn't know that my excitement and a newfound love for my career changed the way he looked at me. I knew he was happy for me, but I think he might have been upset that he hadn't found his nitch yet in life. I was very young and we weren't married yet, so I was putting my career in the front row more than I was putting our relationship. Personally, I thought he would find me more attractive for being the independent woman that I was and being able to hold my own. But overtime, we grew apart.
Being so young while in a very serious relationship and not understanding balance is something I wish someone had guided me on. I wish when this all began, I could have known and started to teach myself balance of all things that I love, but that was not the path that was intended for me. Everything happens for a reason
What motivates you to stay positive throughout all the hardships?
To be honest, love is what has kept me going and feeling like a survivor. I know that if I continue to show myself love and show others love that we can keep growing. We can keep going through hardships and feel the pain, but also understand that this had to happen to get to your destination. Which is where He wants you to be. No matter how hard the situation you are facing, you must not stop loving. Keep loving yourself, keep loving others, keep loving what you are doing in life. Whether it is with your career, your children, your spouse, even your animals, just keep that heart open and your mind free. Everything ends up falling back into place if you simply go through it with love and not anger.
Which living person do you most admire?
Ah, this one is one of the hardest questions for me. I have been blessed to have crossed paths with some pretty amazing people in the past almost 30 years of my life. Since my relationship with my mother hasn't been what I hoped for, I have personally become friends with many women who are a few years older than I am. I find myself friends with women who I aspire to be. The majority of my closest friends are mothers. I wish I could talk about every one of them, but this one amazing friend has shown me a different side of strength. She is a mother of two daughters, a fighter of on and off going depression, and an amazing wife/sister/daughter to her family. Verna has been my best friend for the past five years of my life. She's accepted change in so many ways and is one of my few friends who knows herself inside and out. I have learned so much about life and love because of her. She expresses love the way I wish I had when growing up. She fights with tears and her heart vs. anger and fear. She isn't perfect. She is such an understanding friend. She enjoys her space as much as I do, but when we get together again, we stuff our faces with our energy. I admire the way she lives life and the way she gives life to others. She is sensitive and yet a fighter at the same time.
Verna is an amazing woman and someone who I hope to have in my life forever. She just moved to Panama with her husband and two daughters. What a change, and the crazy part is that I have been blessed to be by her side through it all with her. We were in the car together, heading to a function when she received the text message from her husband about the opportunity. I immediately started to tear up, but at the same time rushed to say DO IT! What do you have to lose if you don't? From that moment on, I knew we were still going to stay best friends because when you love someone so much, you want to see them succeed. You want them to have the best life possible, and I knew being in the RGV wasn't it for her. Since then, I have visited her in Panama, because I wanted to show her how much I still love her friendship. My best friend, Verna is a warrior!
Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I could sing. I love singing around the house and most and about, but to be brutally honest, I am not very good. When I was in school in Virginia, choir audition for the lead role of Star-Spangled Banner. I, of course, auditioned because I loved to sing. Well, this sweet girl beat me, and from that moment on, I knew my life wasn't meant for me to be a singer. So yes, my most wished talent would be to sing with a good melody.
What is your most marked characteristic?
My most marked characteristic would have to be my positivity about life. I try my best to look at things and change perspective immediately when a negative comment is made because it's how we should all look at life. We should turn our frowns upside and be thankful for every little thing we have for ourselves and loved ones surrounding us. Things can always be worse, so by keeping that mindset in the negative place. Happiness is the key to staying alive and surviving. Positivity brings warmth, hope, and love to our souls. Which at the end of our time is the only thing we get to keep with us in the afterlife. At least that is what I am hoping for when my time comes, to simply have a happy soul.
What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?
Always think positive and change your perspective in life. I am a true believer in people's energy and like to keep my vibes high. That's why I feel like photography was a perfect choice for me as a career. I genuinely feel as if my positive energy helps creates the smiles I capture on my camera.
My way of using my skills of positivity and change of perspective is what has allowed me to be the person that I am today and keep my business doors open to the community. As we begin to work together, natural laughs and smiles start to show.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Well, just to be living -- to be honest. This world, at any time in age, has been tough to live. We have changed so much over the last decade alone, and to be honest, I am just blessed to be still standing with an open heart, healthy soul, and communicative mind. When I left Puerto Rico at 15, I couldn't imagine where my life would have taken me. I never once believed that my life would be the way it is with all the ups and downs. I am blessed just to have accomplished life itself for almost 30 years. Just reaching 30 this summer will be my best accomplish yet. I am genuinely just thankful to be still alive and well.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in mud?
My faith in myself. We all believe in a higher power, and I believe that He lives inside of me, which makes me powerful. He lives in me and is the one guiding me, so as long as I know my faith and believe in myself, everything will be fine. I know that if I am sad, He will be sad. I know that if I am happy, He will be happy. God is truly in all of us and therefore, we are all Gods. So if I am keeping myself, my body, and soul in the healthiest way possible then He will be feeling the same. I continue to tell myself these things anytime, and every time something happens in my life. Good or bad. The only person that can get us out of the mud is ourselves. So trust in yourself and have faith that you can do anything, and you will survive.
What's one piece of advice you'd give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
BE STRONG! BE BRAVE! BE FEARLESS!
Those three powerful keys have helped me arrive at where I am at in life. Being strong for yourself is the hardest thing you can do because we rely on other people's love and energy to heal us, but in all reality, we have it all along to heal ourselves. We need to listen and have the strength to feel it. Being brave for yourself is a huge key to getting anywhere in life, because without that energy, how will you be able to say yes to the next chapter. Say yes, even if you aren't brave enough. It will get you to where you belong to be. Being fearless is something I feel like we all struggle with because, well, let's face it, its scary! But if you focus on being strong, and being brave, being fearless comes naturally. Those two energies, I believe is what allows you to become a courageous woman. We can do anything to be and get where we deserve to be, but without those energies, in your heart and soul you won't be able to get there. I mean, get there with knowing you did it for yourself and on your own. That is the power we have as women—strength, Bravery, and being fearless.
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?
Be exactly who you are, and believe in yourself no matter what.
At twenty years old all I was thinking about was getting married and having babies. Although my life was 100% opposite of what I thought I wanted, I knew who I still wanted to be inside. I just wanted to be me. Whoever that girl was, I just wanted to be the most honest and open soul for myself and others.
By 20, I was living at my ex-husband's parents' house and basically without a job. He saved me from being out on the streets and moving from house to house. I will never regret my love for him, but I will regret thinking I was just a woman who could only marry and have children.
Life, later on, proved I was more than just that.
The fact that down the line in our relationship, I realized I couldn't conceive a child like the average woman was what changed my mind on who I was supposed to be. I had grown up thinking I was supposed to be this amazing mother and amazing wife. I never thought in a million years I was going to be her anytime soon.
To my 20-year-old self — be who you are, and don't be afraid of her. Don't be scared of anyone, anything, and especially any of the ideas of change.
I am who I am supposed to be today, and I will never take any of my life experiences away.
Iliasis Tyane is a professional photographer and owner of a local children's boutique, Tyane's Baby Boutique. Originally from Aguadilla, Puerto Rico, Iliasis moved to the small town of Port Isabel at the age of 15 as a young girl with big dreams. Shortly after graduating high school, she discovered her passion for photography, and that quickly blossomed into a successful and thriving photography business. Iliasis, or "Ily" as she is known to most, is self-taught and self-made, which speaks volumes about her dedication, persistence, and determination to be successful. She effortlessly juggles not only her photography business, but also runs her baby boutique all on her own. She is a total go-getter who personally manages all aspects of her businesses; from photographing clients to advertising and promoting herself via social media and other platforms, to buying and stocking for her boutique, Ily really does it all! In just 7 years of operating her photography business she has made quite a name for herself, and has even been featured with an article in The Bump magazine for her popular cake smash sessions. On top of being a successful business owner, Ily has become a supporter and mentor for other aspiring photographers in and around Texas. She now shares her amazing gift for photography and the knowledge she has gained through her years of experience by way of her photography workshops. Through her work, she is empowering other women to pursue their passions and follow their dreams just as she did. At only 29 years old, she is an incredible example of the "American dream". She is truly an inspiration too many women and is someone we can all learn so much from. She has also been a Guest Speaker for Social Empowerment Movement Supporter.
Be sure to connect with Iliasis on her social media channels and her website.
Iliasis Muniz on Facebook / Iliasis Muniz on Instagram / Iliasis Muniz Website
Hi friend!
Welcome to Bright Light.
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.
Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.
I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.
I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.
You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.
To each session, I bring my training as a Certified Conscious Coach, my graduate studies in Marriage and Family Therapy, and my decade-long career as an author and keynote speaker. My approach is multi-cultural, grounded in research and my own experience as the mama of two young girls.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Monthly Guide
Shine your brightest,
Courage to Become | Anti-racist
“I had no idea I WAS racist!! I always thought that because I had black friends and was involved with black guys that I had immunity. It wasn't until my current boyfriend began pointing little things out to me throughout our relationship that I did, said, and that other people did and said that I realized just how racist we can all be without knowing it.”
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and the author of this piece is one of them.
This is a special and poignant piece. This piece was written in March of 2020 and submitted as anonymous for many reasons.
As the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery have ignited the entire nation, this piece ( already vitally important) is more important than ever.
Tell us a little bit about yourself:
I am 25 years old, have built a "successful" life for myself on my own, and am a cat mom. I own a social media management business (shoutout to my first paying client). I never know what to say when someone says, "tell me about yourself."
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I always wanted to build a family of my own and live a financially comfortable lifestyle. I only had one "real" boyfriend in high school and recently ended a relationship of 4.5 years. I was always afraid of having a successful relationship but had NO idea I had this fear until I started therapy last year. The issues I faced with boys when I was younger and with my current boyfriend all seemed to stem from issues with myself, but I learned that they actually stem from my upbringing.
How did it feel getting started?
When I first began dating my current boyfriend, things were great. Until racism showed its ugly face through my family and things began to get sticky. I still remember (and probably always will) almost every detail about the day my dad disowned me and let his wife talk about me and my man the way she did. Honestly, my subconscious blocked out a lot of the wording she used but my spirit has never forgiven her. This was the beginning.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you started dating someone who had a different skin color and heritage than you?
So like I said, things were great with my man until my family showed their true colors. This story isn't just about my relationship, though. It's really about my journey with racism.
I had no idea I WAS racist!! I always thought that because I had black friends and was involved with black guys that I had immunity. It wasn't until my current boyfriend began pointing little things out to me throughout our relationship that I did, said, and that other people did and said that I realized just how racist we can all be without knowing it.
Honestly, I kept up my ignorance until this year. So embarrassing. I read a book titled White Fragility and now preach its knowledge and recommend the book to everyone. I even sent it to a friend in the mail for her to read during quarantine.
Racism is systematic, meaning white people are racist by default. This doesn't make anyone a "bad" person, however, which is where some of the defensiveness comes from when white people are confronted about their actions. Anyway, without recanting the entire book, I learned a lot in the last 5 months, from the book, other research, peers, etc.
What motivates you become more sensitive and aware of your words and actions regarding racism?
The person I loved and was in a relationship with for 4.5 years, the black people I love, the white people I love, the Latinx people I love, etc. Even the people I don't know. I have such a new respect for all people and all races. The shit they put up with that white people DON'T EVEN NOTICE. I notice so much now!! I have such a new motivation to stand up for various morals and values now. I used to "avoid conflict" and now I'm not afraid to cause conflict in standing with love and respect.
Which living person do you most admire?
I most admire my ex-boyfriend. His patience isn't what allows him to brush off hate, it’s his confidence and respect for himself. He knows he’s better for the world than what other people may think of him for his skin color. He knows those people don't have issues with him personally, they have issue with themselves and the past they've learned through school and their upbringing. Not everyone has the willingness to learn more than they've been taught. He takes the time to learn more in attempt to better himself. He knows God's got him.
Which talent would you most like to have?
This is totally unrelated but I would LOVE to be able to dance. LOL. I've always had some good rhythm and I've been able to do some trendy dances throughout the years but as I've gotten older, the less I want to do the trendy dances (because let's be honest I don't want to shake my ass for anyone outside the bedroom) my talent with this has declined.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Physically, people comment on my skin and eyes the most. Personality wise, I hear more comments about how sweet and mature I am. I've always gotten this. I've always appreciated it because its gained me respect with people who matter in life rather than have been thought of as super cool and gotten "respect" from peers.
What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?
Sheesh. So many quotes come to mind. One that is super relevant to this, though, would be "Stand for nothing, or fall for anything." I don't remember who said this but it's SO TRUE. I used to not really understand it when I hear it in songs or when I'd hear it but now I do.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
My business! Also maintaining a relationship with my ex-boyfriend for so long. Of course, had some major speed bumps, but he was (is) a great man and we learned so much fron each other. Also finally maturing and educating myself on racism. It's been a long time coming. Although, I don't want to be TOO proud of myself because I feel like it should be required as a human.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
My future. I'd love to help support my mom like she's always done for me. Of course I'd love to provide a comfortable life for my kids – and one day I hope to have a mentally and emotionally stable relationship.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Educate. Read. Don't leave it up to your black friend to educate you on their painful experience. Find resources. Ask questions when necessary but don't totally rely on someone else to give you all the information. Also, don't ask the wrong people. This means don't ask white people who have little to no knowledge on the subject and don't ask people of color who clearly don't want to help you. They have the right to not want to answer your "simple questions."
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20 year old self?
LEARN NOW. STOP BEING IGNORANT.
Isn’t that something. What a story, tender and straight from a young person’s heart. May we all be moved to action to unlearn the racism we have absorbed and to learn how to honor brothers and sisters from different races than our own. - catia
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational and TEDx speaker , Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Weekly Wisdom Guide
Shine your brightest,
Courage to Become | Mariah Oller
When I first started my tarot business my hands were shaking. I was so afraid of publicly posting my photo in my profile picture. I was afraid of what the religious part of my family would think AND of what the scientists in my family would say. - Mariah Oller
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Mariah is one of them.
Enjoy her story of becoming. I watch her on social media and admire the way she excels at her craft while at the same time remaining the present mama to two sweet girls, and how she contributes so well to her community. Please welcome, Mariah.
Mariah Oller from Harvest and Moon
Mariah, tell us a little bit about yourself.
I am a Cell Biologist turned tarot reader, a survivor of domestic abuse, and homeschooling mother of 2.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
Most of my life is about dreaming and then jumping feet first. My biggest goal has always been to be happy. From there I have many branches.
I wanted to be in a healthy relationship. That may seem simple but for me, someone who grew up seeing and experiencing physical trauma, that has been a tough thing to reprogram. I go to therapy primarily to deal with how much love and pleasure I have in my life now.
I’ve always wanted to be a healer. I started that journey by diving into the hard sciences and later becoming a tarot reader. Surprisingly, I help a lot more people now, and it allows me to comfortable raise my kids.
How did it feel getting started as a tarot reader?
Getting started is always scary. My Dad loves to say “fear is a mind-killer.” I consciously coach myself to take fear as a signal to pay attention, instead of freezing.
When I first started my tarot business my hands were shaking. I was so afraid of publicly posting my photo in my profile picture. I was afraid of what the religious part of my family would think AND of what the scientists in my family would say. For me, tarot is the perfect blend of those worlds but I worried that it would be misunderstood by those I loved. My husband helped calm my nerves and encouraged me to own my brand and my spiritual practices. My family is very supportive of what I have created.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started reading tarot:
The biggest obstacle that I’ve faced are misconceptions about tarot. A lot of people are scared they are going to learn something they don’t want to know or they worry it will be something that goes against their religion.
My tarot readings have always been about empowering people to move towards a life that they love. We focus on discovering what action is needed right now to create harmony in careers, relationships, living situations, etc.
What motivates you to read tarot?
My children are my biggest motivation. I know that they will follow my example so I make sure I’m living a life I would also want for them.
Which living person do you most admire?
My grandmother. She has so much grit and wisdom. She’s the woman people come to when they need advice about their marriage or career.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Besides knowing future events and what actions are needed to overcome the obstacles?! I’m fully satisfied with the talents I have...but I would add ‘enjoys putting laundry away’ as a talent if I had a magic wand.
What is your most marked characteristic?
I am an achiever. I love to push myself and test what I’m capable of.
Is there a message that motivates you or encourages you along?
My mantra is “I’ll get the perfect thing at the perfect time.”
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
I loved getting my degree at 17. That really set the stage for me to be able to do anything I set my mind to.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in the mud?
I pull a tarot card reflect on what action I need to take right now and what goal I’m working towards in the next few months.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Stay diligent about who and what you allow around you. Consume media that feeds your mind and goals. Connect with people that speak life into you. Distance yourself from things that aren’t good for you.
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?
Wait until you’re old enough to legally drink before having a baby. Just because you created the life of an adult woman doesn’t mean you have the fully developed brain of an adult woman.
Mariah Oller is the founder of Harvest and Moon and the New Moon Tribe. She connects modern women to ancient traditions so that they may live a more grounded, exciting, and empowered life.
Mariah has always had a passion for healing. She received her first degree in Biotechnology when she was 17-years-old through the Texas Bioscience Institute and went on to become the lead Biologist designing Oxygen Concentrators for a Medical Device Company at the ripe age of 19.
Mariah seamlessly blends the worlds of Science and Magic together to create healing and balance for women in her community. Source: Harvest and Moon
Mariah is truly gifted and I know you will love connecting with her!
Harvest and Moon Web site — Harvest and Moon on Instagram — Harvest and Moon on Facebook
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational and TEDx speaker , Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Weekly Wisdom Guide
Shine your brightest,
“Must be nice.” Words that used to cripple me.
My parents were and are really hard workers (My mom was born in Mexico and migrated to the US, my dad was born in Texas and grew up working on farms,) and they opened their own business in 1982-- and the fact that they were business owners was enough to get people to bully me as a young girl.
Must be nice to have it so good. Must be nice to have it so easy. Must be nice to not have to work so hard. Must be nice to be teacher’s pet.
And the ultimate dread was that they would say these things to me in Spanish. I’d get steamrolled verbally and I couldn’t keep up or respond and I’d just have to walk away with my tail between my legs.
After enough bullying I subconsciously I started to defend my life.
Every time I would encounter a blessing, or something fun and simple like a new outfit, I’d book end it with 9-year-old versions of “But I also encounter struggle.” I’d go off explaining how I too suffer. How life is hard for me from time to time. How I don’t have it all. How I hurt. How my life wasn’t perfect. I’d laugh it off and sometimes throw in some self-deprecating humor – anything to convince my classmates I was worthy of belonging.
The truth of my childhood was that I was blessed.
I had amazing parents who loved me well and kept me safe. I always had food and clean clothes and never wanted for anything. I had birthday parties and Halloween costumes and complete emotional support. I did have nicer things than some of my friends, but not the nicest. My mom drove a blue Toyota Corolla, a grey Astro van and then a maroon Ford Tarus station wagon because if would fit the snare drum that I toted to school every day.
I never felt entitled. I always felt grateful and more than that, a responsibility. A responsibility to do the best with what my parents had worked so hard to give me.
So I did. I worked hard. (I wrote about how my parents gave me the gift of grit here.) I was a good student. I tried my hand and did well at UIL writing, marching band, jazz band, golf – and all sorts of other extracurricular activities.
What I wanted more than anything back then, was for someone to acknowledge my hard work. I wanted my peers to see how much I tried – how much I was earning what I was receiving.
I wanted to be able to be blessed, work hard and also belong.
I started working for and with my parents when I was 8. And every holiday, and summer vacation – while my friends were watching tv and going to the mall, I was working with my parents. I put in a lot of hours. My duties were simple, but I was working. And by the time I was 14, every summer, I was working full-time as a cashier.
I was blessed, I did have it nice, AND I stewarded both well.
What would give me knots and throw me into a shame spiral was when people dismissed my hard work.
And so I learned to sandwich every blessing with difficulty. And over the years it became part of who I was.
Has that ever happened to you? A bad habit just become part of who you are?
I would dim my light and hide my joy because if I was truly standing in all of who I was, I was a target for ridicule.
As I became a wife and mom and continued my path of healing and self-discovery, I started to be curious about this part of myself. The part that wanted everyone to know that I worked hard, that I was deserving, that I was worthy.
It’s still a tender spot for me.
I still guard that part of my heart close.
Photo Credit: Iliasis Muniz
But I have started to shed the layers of shame around “it being nice.”
I am a good person, who takes good care of friends and family and everyone in my world. I am grateful and generous with my time and thoughts and effort. Most of this is not public – and yet I know that I have made a difference in lives of many people for the better. And I do it from a place of sincerity. I want to make the world a better place and I do what I can where I can.
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It can be hard to share blessings with the world because you’re always putting yourself out there for others to comment, “must be nice,” with an undertone of dismissal.
I am 35 now and learning that it is a disservice to my joy and my life and the lives of those around me if I am constantly tampering down all that I’ve received – whether it be by blessing, fortune, luck, or hard work.
Even right now, my old habits are creeping up and I want to tell you how much I have struggled.
“Everyone lives three lives, public, private and secret.” - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
I want to share with you why I deserve all the goodness in my life. I want to tell you that I am grateful for it. That I treat people well. That I deserve it.
But I’ll stop myself.
I’ll stop myself because I want you to know that you deserve ALL the goodness the Universe and God can send your way with having to defend it.
What would our lives look like and feel like if we accepted all that goodness with grateful heart, enjoyed it and were good stewards of it? Can we begin to lean into that?
May you know you are worthy of a peaceful life.
May you know that you can experience goodness in its fullness without defending yourself.
May you know that you are deserving.
May you know that you have nothing to prove.
May you know that when you rise to the occasion that is your life, it gives us permission to the same.
May you know that more you share the goodness in your life, the more you will receive.
May you know that you belong not despite anything, but because you are.
Feature Image: Abel Riojas Photography
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
Shine your brightest,
Becoming Joyful from the Inside Out | Essential Oils
Parts of 2017 were rough for our family, mainly, Alexandra. In January of 2017 her sister was born, about a month later when I figured out that I couldn’t raise a newborn and also keep Alexandra stimulated during the day, we sent her to “pre-school” a few times a week and a month after that the young lady who helped us around the house and with Alexandra (so she was Alexandra’s best buddy) found another job. It was a lot of transition for Alexandra and she had BIG feelings that manifested in physical outbursts.
I’m talking extreme– she would beat us up. Bad. She hit and kicked and screamed and would get so enraged that I knew she was literally out of her mind. I could see when her senses shut down and she was on rage mode. I felt terrible for her and also for us. We even restored to spanking her which made it all worse. (Want to stop spanking your kids or just want to learn how a toddler's brain works, read - No Drama Discipline). One night it got so out of control and I was so scared and pissed that at midnight I Googled, therapy for kids. I needed help. ASAP.
Around the same time I was starting to get vocal about my Postpartum Depression and my friend reached out to me and she said, these will help you. They WILL make a difference. She was talking about essential oils and I started to pay attention.
Even saying essential oils felt super silly at first, but slowly I started to lean into the science and results and possibilities.
And it all felt overwhelming. There was so much information. I thought, “how do these people have the time for all of this!”
But I knew I needed help getting Alexandra to a good place, and I was going to use all the tools available. So we started therapy and we started essential oils.
When the oils arrived, we called them “magic.”
The very first night I remember opening an oil that my friend said would help my girls sleep through the night (both of them!) and that was huge, since I was nursing and pumping and oh so tired!! I pulled out “Peace and Calming” rubbed it on the girls' wrists and on their chest and VOILA! They both slept through the night.
And so, that was how we started. With sleep.
There are many essential oil companies out there, I am a fan of Young Living. My good friend who introduced me to oils is one of the smartest, most thorough, good hearted people I know. And that’s why I like Young Living, because she vouches for it. That’s plenty for me. She is a wealth of information and encouragement and I love that about my journey with oils. She’s also an attorney and doesn’t need my money to sustain her – and so I know that her recommendations are coming from an honest place – and that makes me feel good too! (Just keeping it real!!)
Back to oils.
I took the plunge for me and for my family and little by little we addressed things like sleep, trauma, jealousy, change, and once we addressed some big emotions, we started addressing our physical health. We began making our own vitamins with oils, using essential oils to clean the air, our floors, SO MANY THINGS.
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We use oils every single day.
My husband makes his own vitamins with oils! (Lemon, Black Pepper, Cinammon, Ledum, Thieves, Oregano, DiGize, GLF, Grapefruit, Peppermint)
I use Loyalty oil as a perfume. I say a little mantra, be loyal to your truth, and I go on my way.
If I’m having a stressful day, I swipe on Present Time Oil, it helps me stay in the present and just breathe.
Alexandra uses a special blend of oils, GeneYus, to help her focus at school.
During the day I use Lemon Essential Oil for my water.
During the day I run the diffusers with Thieves and Cinnamon to clean the air in our house. Sometimes I even use Orange and Tangerine. Yum!
I use an essential oil blend (SARA- helps with trauma , Release- to help let go of it all, and Sacred Mountain -Sacred Mountain promotes feelings of safety and knowing the world will always take care of you) and make a linen spray. I spray this on our beds before we go to sleep.
I keep an essential oil room spray (Pine and Thieves) in our guest bathroom.
Before a big work event like a keynote or even my TEDx talk, I lather myself in Present Time (to keep me in the moment) and Valor (to give me courage to shine!)
I keep a bag of oils by my bedside that I swipe on my feet and wrists and neck each night. Oils that are meant to help calm my brain and get me to a place of peace. Some of them are: Rose, Release, Geranium, Sacred Frankincense, Inner Child, Joy and Gratitude. They are crucial to my sleep.
At night I make my own mix of oils, depending on the girls' behavior and what’s going on in our lives, and run the girls’ diffusers. Sometimes Alexandra and Luciana need more emotional support (Peace and Calming, White Angelica) and sometimes they need help with head colds (Thieves, Lavender, Lemon and Peppermint)– it all depends!
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I just keep learning and we keep using them and we have seen incredible results.
We’re almost 2 year into oils and I LOVE them.
Oils are the first thing I turn to for a bug bite, a rash, fragrance, emotional support (they have helped me with my PPD, weaning off of Zoloft, when I’m pissed, when I’m scared and when I’m trying to raise my vibration) immune system support, and even for cooking!
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Let’s talk some more science.
In my TEDx talk,Choose Joy or Die,I talk about how if we are not consciously choosing joy, we are dying.
See how Joy is near the top and shame is near the bottom?
This chart depicts frequencies, vibrations. Good vibes vs. bad vibes.
Here's a crash course on frequencies (taken from Oily Por Vida)
✔ Every cell in your body, every single living thing, has a vibrational frequency. When we consume things that have frequency (such as plants which are living things), we can increase our body's frequency, which will increase our health.
✔ Healthy human body frequency: 62+ MHz.
✔ Illness starts at 57-60 MHz.
✔ Our bodies are receptive to cancer at 42 MHz
✔ Death begins at 25 MHz.
✔ Essentail oils have frequencies as well, which can raise our bodies’ frequency. They range from 52-580 MHz.
✔ One of the most important modalities of essential oils is their ability to raise our body’s frequency to a level where disease cannot exist.
✔ Processed food: 0 MHz, meaning it does nothing positive for your health.
✔ Raw, real food (things that are alive) are the only foods that will raise your frequency.
✔ The essential oils with the highest frequencies are Idaho Blue Spruce (580 MHz), Rose (320 MHz), Helichrysum (181 MHz), and frankincense (147 MHz).
✔ Coffee: Even holding a cup of coffee can lower your body frequency by 8 MHz (yikes!) Taking a sip lowers it by 14 MHz. BUT! Listen to this: When essential oils are inhaled following exposure to coffee, the bodily frequencies restore themselves in less than a minute. But if no oils are administered, it can take up to 3 days for the body to recover from even one drink of coffee. How crazy is that?
✔ Negative thoughts decrease our frequency by up to 12 MHz.
✔ A positive thought can increase our frequency by 10 MHz.
✔Prayer/meditation increase our frequency by 15 MHz.
We can makes choices to raise our vibrations! I think that's great news. :)
When I learned about this research, I really went into high gear with essential oils.
By raising our vibration with our food, positive thoughts, prayer, laughter, dancing, and even with essential oils, we are choosing joy. We are ascending. We are living a life of joy and vitality! And we all deserve to live lives full of joy.
If you’d like to get started with essential oils, send me an email (catia@catiaholm.com) and I’ll point you in the right direction.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
Shine your brightest,
Help for Post Partum Depression (and the like)
I have had postpartum depression … twice. And so have A LOT of your friends and family.
When you’re a first time mom, the postpartum experience is new – and since it’s your first time around – it’s not easy to figure out what’s normal and what isn’t.
During my first pregnancy I was aware of the postpartum depression possibility so I guarded against it. I encapsulated my placenta, I worked out, I went to therapy, and still – the bottom fell out from under me. Only I didn’t know it – and not knowing that you are in the midst of postpartum disorders is the most dangerous.
One day, when my first born was about 4 months old, I noticed that I felt really good. I felt like a weight had lifted off my shoulders – and over the next few weeks, the puzzle pieces fell into place and I knew I had been depressed and anxious.
Here’s what my first go with postpartum disorders felt like:
Having thoughts of my baby getting hurt or dying A LOT.
Extreme jealousy and irrational behavior.
Fear that my husband would find a better woman.
Not connecting with my child.
I tended to her needs and no one could tell I wasn’t truly connecting – but I knew.
Resentment of my new life.
I wanted a baby, and had one, but then I was kind of pissed that my life had changed so much. Where had my life gone? Where had my freedom gone?
So then, with my second baby, I was ready. I knew what to look out for. My husband and I were ready!
With my second baby I had a traumatic birth (I lost 50% of my blood and had to have blood transfusions) so my OB was on high alert for me having Post-traumatic stress disorder, but after a few checkups, she deemed me fine.
The first several months of my second baby’s life were a dream. I was in love with her, I was connecting with her, I had help around the house, and my husband was helping a ton – ALL GOOD!
But then around month four – things started to get weird. I started to have major anxiety and my fuse became shorter and shorter. And around month five, my girlfriend Alexis at Birth 360, posted an article about late onset postpartum depression – and I read it – and it all clicked.
Dang it! It happened again!
I immediately called my doctor and made an appointment.
Here’s what postpartum depression felt like the second time around:
Having thoughts of my children getting hurt or dying – A LOT.
A general sense of fear of not having enough (money, food, time, etc.)
A short fuse, zero patience.
Anger toward everyone. Suppressed rage.
Feeling like someone had a boot on my neck.
Feeling helpless to affect change in my work life.
Irrational thoughts
Here’s a quick example of irrational thoughts:
My husband and I were out of town visiting family. We were staying in a quiet farm town, at least 30 minutes from a grocery store. One morning he cooked our oldest daughter breakfast — eggs and hotdogs. He also precooked hotdogs for the rest of the day – so that she would have something ready to go if she got hungry.
I asked him if he had had his fill of hotdogs, and he said yes. Then I said, “Okay, I’m going to eat the rest of these hotdogs with my breakfast.” I too wanted eggs and hotdogs. And he said, “Why don’t you have the chicken (there was cooked chicken breast) so that she can have the hotdogs later?”
And I got PISSED.
Thoughts started swirling in my mind. He doesn’t think I deserve hotdogs? Am I not worth hotdogs? I should be able to eat the hotdogs if I want. Am I not worth the $8 worth of hotdogs? And on and on.
I jumped in the shower and began to weep.
Guys, my husband and I have a strong relationship. He loves me and I love him, deeply. We have been through life together and still, we pull closer together. The sky is blue, and my husband loves me — I KNOW these things. And I knew intellectually that he would want me to have the hot dogs if that’s what I wanted – but my brain was spinning OUT OF CONTROL.
And when I told my OB/GYN the hotdog story – she said, “I’m glad you’re here for help.”
—
Useful questions for help for postpartum depression:
I recommend you ask yourself or have a person you trust ask.
Are you having fears you didn’t used to have? What are they?
Are you angry your life has changed?
Are you having thoughts that your baby is going to die?
Are you frustrated throughout the day? What sparks the frustration?
Do you feel inadequate?
Do you feel supported?
Do you feel like you can be honest about your feelings with those around you?
Has your libido changed? How?
If you have children, how do you feel toward them? Same as before baby? More connected, less connected?
If you are married or in a relationship – how do you feel toward your spouse/partner? Has it changed since post baby? Describe.
These are BIG questions and they only work if you commit to being honest.
The thing I’ve heard most from women about postpartum disorders is that they are ashamed. I am here to tell you – there is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a hormonal issues – not an issue of ability or will power.
You can ask for help from your OB/GYN, your child’s pediatrician, a counselor or your girlfriends, community and family. Some women feel better after talking about it with friends or a therapist. Some women need medication (me!) And some women need a combo of things.
We are all with you and for you.
Childbirth brings on so many changes, good and bad and messy ones. But the point of it all is to ENJOY your new baby and your new family. Get the help you need, you deserve to feel good!
Other resources:
Pregnancy and Postpartum Health Alliance of Texas
—
This post was originally written for and featured on Austin Moms Blog
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Andi Franklin
What I remember, is the silence. The dimly light dining room. My knees on the chair cushion and arms draped over its back, clutching a $25 Target gift card I had gotten as an early birthday present. Curtains peeled back, street lights on, and a cul-de-sac full of cars that were in for the night.
He’ll be here. He’ll be here. He promised he would take me, so he’ll be here.
I don’t know how long I was there, staring and waiting and convincing myself that he would show. But finally, I felt my mother’s gentle hand on my shoulder.
"Its time to go to bed, sweetie. I’m sure he just got caught up.”
Looking back, I think of my mom and hard that must have been for her. I think of how long she pondered what to say to her bright-eyed little girl who sat in a window all night waiting for her dad to show up and take her shopping for her 7th birthday. I wonder if she knew how far gone he was, I wonder if she saw it coming.
That night marked the beginning of my biological father’s exit strategy. I can only remember seeing him one other time in passing before he was gone for good. He never said goodbye. He never told me why. He was just, gone.
My mom explained that he was in the clutch of drugs and alcohol, but I wasn’t buying it. Deep down I knew the real reason he left⏤me.
This belief coursed through my veins and spread in my body like a cancer. Each year that passed I would get sicker and sicker, subconsciously convinced that his love was the cure. Meanwhile, in my conscious mind, I became obsessed with finding him.
The reason changed with each season in my life.
At the tender age of seven, I simply wanted him to come home to me. I loved him, missed him, and didn’t care about the rest. But as a new year turned, so would my feelings toward this elusive man. Emotions? I’ve felt them all. I think that is kind of expected when you are abandoned.
But what surprises me now, is how I let that single event in my life take the driver seat and dictate every future relationship.
My story of becoming, lies here—in the gaping wounds of a woman who spent over 20 years of her life looking for love, when love had been hers all along.
My quest to fill the void of my biological father’s love sent me down twisted, untended, shadowy trails.
It got to the point where I would push for young men to leave me around my birthday because I had convinced myself it was going to happen anyway.
Somehow, no matter what, I would always find myself back where I started:
Seven years old. Curtains peeled back, street lights on, and a cul-de-sac full of cars that were in for the night.
He’ll be here. He’ll be here. He promised he would take me, so he’ll be here.
I would always see it coming, but I would sit and wait anyway.
The leaving. The betrayal. The heartbreak.
My deep longing for love led me into the clutches of manipulation. Young men knew how to work a broken girl, and one in particular was so skilled that it took me weeks to realize he had raped me.
“But did you say no?”
Yes.
“But did you try to fight him off?”
Yes.
“And yet, you still didn’t realize you had been raped?”
No.
Trauma has a funny way of doing that to a person. Especially when it roots back to your childhood and incessant need to be loved.
Fortunately, I clawed my way out of that hell and found myself on the other side. The side that could sit in a space with other women who had gone through it and say, “me too, and I’m here for you.”
I met a man who wasn’t afraid of me and my baggage. A man who refused to leave me around my birthday, despite my many attempts to sway him otherwise.
We fell in love, got married, and therein lies the happy ending, right?
I sure thought so.
I had actively convinced myself that I was cured.
Healed! Praise Jesus, Hallelujah!
I thought the void had been filled and I went on with my merry way with life.
Until the day I finally had to come face to face with him.
Meeting my biological father again for the first time in 18 years was terrifying.
It was my grandfather’s 80th birthday and my father had been clean and sober for about six months, so the family allowed him to come to the event and notified us that he would be there.
I was five months pregnant with my first son.
Palms sweaty, face flushed.
Don’t you cry, Andrea. You’ve gotta stay strong for your brother.
I brought a notebook full of letters, songs, and poems I had written to him throughout the years. I was going to give it to him and show him the pain he had caused.
But when I saw him, I couldn’t do it.
This man, so broken and fragile. Petrified of us—his grown children.
My heart no longer hurt for just me, it hurt for him too.
And so the notebook stayed with me and I left that birthday party, heart still guarded, but softened.
He managed to stay clean for another year and a half and was even invited to my brother’s wedding. Then suddenly, he was gone again. Back into the warm arms of alcohol and Methamphetamine—his oldest friends, and closest enemies.
When I found out, I decided I was done with him for good. I wiped my hands clean, threw them in the air, and proclaimed that I was whole, and didn’t need him.
And yet, no matter what, I would always find myself back where I started:
Seven years old. Curtains peeled back, street lights on, and a cul-de-sac full of cars that were in for the night.
He’ll be here. He’ll be here. He promised he would take me, so he’ll be here.
Three and a half years had passed since I had seen or heard from him and then, my grandpa died.
I knew he would be at his father’s funeral, but I also knew he was on drugs and I was terrified of seeing him like that.
I stepped out of the truck at Green Acres Cemetery, not knowing what to expect.
Palms sweaty, face flushed.
Don’t you cry, Andrea. You’ve gotta stay strong for your brother.
But he never showed. And it was there, at the celebration of my grandpa’s life, that my becoming shifted.
I found out from my cousin that my father was homeless, living on a dirt road somewhere in the desert.
A rumble stirred within me.
Homeless.
I couldn’t accept this. I heard it echoing in my mind for days.
Homeless.
And so, I knew I needed to do something.
I talked to my husband and told him I really wanted to bring a care pack of sorts to my father. You know, toiletries and snacks and things that may help. I knew it wasn’t much, but I also knew it was better than nothing.
But first, I needed to know how to get to him. I decided to send him a facebook message and ask him if what I heard was true.
No response.
Then, an epiphany.
I was lying in bed next to my husband when I became.
I need to tell him I forgive him. Because, I do. I forgive him. And I need to tell him I love him. Because, I do. I love him. And I always have.
Then, another epiphany.
My entire life, I have thought that I needed his love to fill the void in my heart, when in truth, it is MY love that I have wanted to give to him this entire time.
There aren’t adequate enough words to describe this moment.
23 years in the making, I finally discovered my truth:
Conditional love is not who I am. My love is mine to give, and I don’t need someone to love me back in order to give them my love.
That, is unconditional love. And that, is what my soul has always wanted to give to my father.
I sent another message and this time, I told him I loved him and forgave him, without expecting anything in return.
Still, no response.
Then, I sent him this:
I just wanted to let you know that I love you. And I’ll probably tell you that every week from now on, whether you reply or not, because I want you to know that there is still someone living and breathing on this earth that loves and cares for you.
And every Thursday for the past three months I have done just that.
Since then, I was able to see him. My husband and I made the hour and a half drive to the dirt road he’s living on to bring him some things.
He’s created a house of sorts out of an abandoned trailer he found. He scavenges with his girlfriend and they both do drugs.
But, I still love him.
We chatted and laughed and I promised that next time we come, I would stay for a while and catch up more.
He will never be the father I dreamed up in my mind and he may never get clean and sober again.
But I’m no longer seven years old. Curtains peeled back, street lights on, and a cul-de-sac full of cars that were in for the night.
Now, I am a thirty-year-old woman. Eyes peeled open, natural light flooding in, and a heart full of unconditional love that I’m ready to give, freely.
I’ll be there. I’ll be there. I promised myself I would love fully, so I’ll be there.
Essay by: Andi Franklin
You can find more of Andi's writings on Facebook, Instagram and on her website Andi Franklin.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Frances Saldivar-Morales
Sisters, you never know what kind of impact you are having. Keep doing good work, being kind, staying steady. We don't have to preach, or gather a following or have a fancy business to make a difference. Do what your heart calls you to do, and do it well. That is plenty. The universe will do the rest.
Tonight, I want to share a letter with you. This landed in my inbox in March and I've been waiting to share it with you - to shine a light on Frances ( tonight's author) and also to remind you that you matter and YOU DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
When I wrote The Courage to Become, I had no idea who I would impact, seriously. But the more days go by, the more I realize my experience and my sharing and truth have impacted women and families that I never would have imagined.
Enjoy Frances' story. It's one of challenge and courage, grace and triumph.
---
Catia,
It truly was a pleasure meeting you at the book signing on Saturday. I didn’t expect to be overcome with so many emotions when we spoke, but I appreciate your kind words, warmth, patience and suggestion to email you. This gives me an opportunity to share how your book made a difference in my life—almost breaking down in tears aside.
I graduated from WHS in 2002, and although we never crossed words, I recall you being an upperclassman and drum major when I was a pacesetter. I immediately recognized your face about a year ago while scrolling through Facebook. Being from the same small town, we have several mutual friends on social media and one of them must have shared your page re: Confidence Revolution. Faith and positive/inspirational/motivational content have been my guiding light and driving force through tough times.
“Outgoing,” a word no one would have used to describe me! Growing up, I had a few close friends, and standing out would have been mortifying. I just wanted to study and earn good grades to go to college and earn a degree—all of which I did, not standing out. In 2007, at the age of 23, I had a Master of Science in Communication Sciences and Disorders and began a career as a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) in my home town. I accomplished a lot, and before I knew it, I had a career that paid well enough to live a comfortable life and help my parents. As a first generation Mexican-American, my drive stemmed from my parents’ hope that their children would get an education greater than what they had the opportunity to accomplish.
From 2010-2013, I experienced symptoms that my doctors could not put their finger on: shortness of breath, significant fatigue, a dry cough that just wouldn’t go away, and eventually, I began spitting up traces of blood when I coughed. During that time, I underwent multiple chest x-rays, allergy tests, TB tests, took allergy medications and used inhalers to no avail. In the fall of 2013, my now husband and I experienced a miscarriage. I was 7 weeks along when it happened. I know they say you experience shortness of breath during pregnancy, but it usually occurs much later in the process. During those 7 weeks, I felt my shortness of breath intensify. Working as a pediatric SLP, depending on my patients’ abilities, I’d plop on the floor with them, jump around, or carry them from one location to the next if they were infants. I couldn’t understand why I needed to catch my breath so often, even when talking—because, hello, that’s my bread and butter as an SLP—so early in the pregnancy.
If we were going to try to get pregnant again, we needed answers about my lungs. My family doctor decided to send me to a pulmonologist to get a high-resolution CT of the chest. One week before Christmas, on December 18, 2013, we got the answer: Lymphangioleiomyomatosis (LAM). I felt overwhelmed with emotions: shocked, sad, scared, and RELIEF—I finally had an answer! I was 29 years of age.
Is it my true belief that God had other plans for me. I always had that tunnel vision—work hard, earn a degree, make a difference in children’s lives, work, work, work. My career was MY THING; I worked my butt off to get there! In 2014, my LAM diagnosis progressed from a ‘mild’ to a ‘moderate-severe’ stage. I experienced 2 back-to-back right-lung collapses, invasive lung surgery, chest tubes, was on supplemental oxygen 24/7, began taking the only medication that could potentially slow LAM progression, and began consulting with Houston Methodist Lung Transplant Center. I had to leave my profession--MY THING. I have undergone much emotional and physical pain, but through this, I have learned to push my limits and to "stand out" for a reason. I have further explored the things I never thought I could do. I’m not completely there in terms of putting myself out there, but I AM evolving. I think it was God’s way of saying that there is SO MUCH MORE out there. It’s unfortunate that sometimes, the only way we step back to REALLY appreciate life is when we go through life-changing experiences. You know how they say, “What advice would you give to your younger self?” I think a more gratifying way is to SHARE your experiences with others before they ever go through any negative experiences in hopes that they will grip to something in your story and use it as a life lesson.
In “The Courage to Become,” you talked about leaving your career, making less money, and feeling less powerful and scared. I completely related with that. Before leaving my profession, I earned more than my husband and not once did it ever make me feel “more than” him. In fact, I felt we were equal. We both had a career in the healthcare field—we met at work—and I never had to ask him for money, nor did he to me. I took pride in being able to pay MY car, MY student loans, etc. on my own. It took an emotional toll on me and much, much time for me to come to terms with the fact that WE are a partnership. No matter what the situation, we will have each other’s back. I too feel blessed with “the one” I chose and that he chose me too.
LAM took a lot from me, but it has also opened so many doors. I have found other passions, including yoga, reading, considering adoption, and being an active advocate for myself and others living with LAM. Since diagnosis, family and friends have helped me host two LAM Awareness 5K’s in the RGV, and all proceeds went to The LAM Foundation to help fund research for a CURE. I had the opportunity to speak to a large room of LAM patients, family/friends, researchers and clinicians about my LAM diagnosis and hope for a cure at a LAMpoisum conference. I became a LAM co-liaison for my region and am a source of support for newly diagnosed patients and all those living with LAM in my region. My co-liaison and I host annual regional meetings for patients, family/friends and the medical community. I make it a point to speak to others about LAM because it truly takes a village to make this rare disease known—which is why I shared the LAM pamphlet with you. The more people that are aware, the more likely we are to find undiagnosed women to share hope with. I also take part in LAM research at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) in hopes of finding other treatment options and a cure in the near future.
In Chicago as I shared my LAM story with patients/family/friends, clinicians, and researchers.
Approved by and Photo Credit goes to Kelsey Adams: K- Adams Foto Photography taken at LAMposium
Many have complemented me on my positive outlook despite the circumstances. The reality is, we all have it in us, we just have to choose. Sometimes, we’re just blind to all that is in us because we get so caught up in our lives. You and other writers/speakers continue to motivate me to LOVE and LIVE intentionally. After reading your book, although we never met, I felt like I knew you, and you were that friend that you can speak so openly to—hence why I practically wrote my life story in this email—oops! Your genuine, raw accounts of experiences encourage others to stay motivated. The way you spoke about sisterhood has a deep-rooted connection in my heart, because that’s what LAM women call each other, "LAM sister.” A sister is someone you love dearly and want the best for; you have a connection, a bond. I could feel the love your poured into this book, and the guidance and inspiration you wanted to impart on those reading it! Thank you for the prayer at the end of the book. May you truly know your life had a ripple effect on mine.
Best regards,
Frances Saldivar-Morales
To find out more about LAM you find them here, on their home page and on Facebook.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
Real Talk About Depression
If you:
· Have constant mood swings.
· Are anxious all the time.
· Have trouble feeling joyous.
· Feel disconnected from your life.
· Hesitate to go outside and partake in physical activity.
· Feel rage.
· Have thoughts of hurting yourself or other people.
· If your life feels grey.
· If your thoughts are heavy and burdensome and it all feels like doomsday.
YOU MAY BE DEPRESSED AND SHOULD SEEK HELP.
1) Help is GOOD. There is honor in being self-aware and honest.
2) You will be okay – and this is not “just the way life is,” your brain is playing tricks on you. Depression is complicated, but it is science. Depression is not about will power.
My first bout with depression was in 2014. I had become a mama for the first time and my hormones fell through the floor.
Here’s what it felt like.
· I was disconnected from my daughter, and from my life. I was going through the motions, but nothing was really sinking in.
· I also felt very insecure. I constantly felt like my husband was going to go find someone better. I was really paranoid and sad. I would hold his shoulders and cry, “I’m scared you’re going to find someone better.”
· I would have horrible thoughts about my daughter dying. A LOT. They were terrible. I would imagine me hitting her head on a corner of a wall, or dropping her. The thoughts were horrific.
Everything looked great on the outside. I wore cute clothes. I worked out. I cooked meals. Nothing on the outside gave evidence to my interior thoughts or feelings. Three or four months into the depression, it lifted, and I wept. It was only then, only after it lifted, that I knew I had been depressed.
Depression is weird. It wears away at what is actually happening , and then it distorts it – until it’s so distorted – and you’re so far away from where you started – that it feels unreasonable to NOT BELIEVE YOUR THOUGHTS. You are sure, you are right. You are sure what you are seeing is true. You have collected all the evidence. You are right. Life sucks. Life is hard. Life is a battle. Life is grey.
BUT DEPRESSION IS A LIAR.
The second time I experienced depression was about 5 months after I became a mama for the second time.
We were on a family trip and my husband had sliced and cooked some hot dogs to eat with breakfast. Hot dogs are one of our girls’ favorite foods, and they are easy to cook and eat – so they are a family favorite.
I went to go serve myself hot dogs – and my husband suggested I eat the chicken he had made – since our girls would more readily eat the hot dogs throughout the day. (It’s important to note that we were staying on a farm, in rural Iowa, and the nearest grocery store was 30 minutes away.)
I raged on the inside but said nothing. I served myself every single piece of hot dog that was left and ate until I was uncomfortable.
Then I got into the shower, stood under the running water and sobbed.
The thoughts going through my head were, “He doesn’t think I deserve hot dogs! Am I not worth $8.00 of hot dogs? Does he not care about my needs?” On and on.
I came out of the shower, looked at him, admitting nothing – and said, “I’m not going to be as resilient today.” And he held me gently. We decided I would seek help when we returned.
A week later I told my OB/GYN the story and she said, “I’m glad you’re here. You need a lot of help.”
I didn’t know the Post-Partum Depression could be late onset – and since it felt different than the first time around – neither my husband or I flagged it.
This is what is felt like the second time around:
· I was short tempered. Very short tempered.
· I felt a lot of rage.
· I talked about being violent toward people who angered me.
· I had thoughts of my girls dying. All the time. The thoughts were all consuming – and they left me breathless.
· I would have serious anxiety attacks that manifested as coughing attacks, where I would cough so hard I would gag and it was hard to catch my breath.
· Nothing was ever “quite right.” I always had a reason to be angry.
Two times with depression, and if I’m being totally honest, maybe a third. Right now. It’s annoying and frustrating, because I know I am blessed. I love my husband. I love my girls. I am safe. I have a job I love – and yet, depression sneaks its way into my brain every night and I have terrible dreams. You know, the kind where they weigh on your body and mind and you wake up in a weird mood. So this time around, it looks and feels different.
Here is what is in my DEPRESSION TOOL BOX.
· Talk therapy with a LCSW and a Resonance Re-patterner.
· Prescription anti-depressants – prescribed through my OB/GYN
· Essential oils – I use these all the time to keep my body and emotion vibrating on a higher frequency. I am a big fan of Young Living oils.
· Exercise – I try to do some exercise, (alone – no kids), 4 times a week. One hour per session.
· Massages – getting a massage breaks up the fascia around your muscles and helps relieve tension. It doesn't have to be an expensive massage, just a massage.
· Getting some sun – getting some vitamin D helps boost my mood big time.
· Date night – alone time with my husband makes a huge difference for me.
· Alone time – MUST GET ALONE TIME. I need this to reset from all the frantic moments of the week. I try to go for a walk, listen to a podcast, do yoga.
. Get off my phone and social media. Being on my phone is not rest, it's the opposite of rest.
· Get chilly – If I am hot, I angrier. I’m so serious! Turn down the thermostat.
· Good food – eating organic and sustainable grown fruits and veggies makes a big difference for our body.
· Cut our sugar – Sugar is the devil. Sugar causes major hormonal and consequently mood swings.
. Time with God - praying, listening and connecting with God always grounds me.
It sounds like battling depression is a full-time job, right? Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn’t. It’s more about a well-rounded way to approach life, and when I honor my body and mind, it returns the favor.
If you identify with any of the feelings above – I will help you get help. All you have to do it say, “Maybe I need help.” And then email me, I’ll hold your hand through it.
I have been there, it is weird. I know.
You are loved and you are worthy.
Don’t let depression convince you otherwise.
The Courage to Become | Amy Wolff
My Courage of Becoming Grey || Essay by: Amy Wolff
My whole life I've craved security, comfort, safety, and predictability.
When I was young, my parents gave me an allowance with the clear expectation that I would give 10% to charity and put 10% into savings. The rest I could spend on whatever my heart desired (probably Polly Pockets). But every month I gave 10% away and hoarded the rest into savings. That's right, as a kid I opted out of 'fun' spending. I chose security.
Which also explains why I see things as black-and-white. Clear right and wrong. Neat and predictable. In my teens years this kept me out of a lot of trouble (you’re welcome, Mom and Dad!). As a rule-follower with an active Christian faith, boundaries were comforting, not restricting. I learned to easily navigate life within the walls of my morality.
But unfortunately walls that keep you safe also keep you isolated.
Over the last few years I’ve felt overwhelmingly defensive and misunderstood (particularly while scrolling through my social media feeds). I’ve been easily offended, often irritated, and if I were being honest, quick to judge. I’m surprised I don’t have permanent damage from all the eye-rolling I’ve done at articles, comments, or at headlines from particular news sources.
That’s what happens when you build walls; everyone on the outside becomes the unrelatable unreasonable other.
Surely this wasn’t loving my neighbors well - picking sides, shouting from soap boxes, and devaluing perspectives and opinions when they didn’t align with my own. It was exhausting and felt rotten. Something had to change, and it wasn’t the others. It was me.
This is my story of becoming grey.
I remember the moment the transformation started. Several years ago I was sitting on my bed scrolling through Facebook when I saw a friend share a video of two men, both gay, speaking at a Christian university. One was arguing that gay marriage is not in violation of God’s will. The other was arguing that acting on his sexual desires was in violation.
What amazed me was the respect these men had for each other. They were on opposing ends of a divisive and deeply personal issue and yet they still honored one another. Their talk included practical ideas of engaging in difficult conversations with people who disagree with you.
When the video ended, I sat there bewildered. Courage stirred.
That’s the day I started my journey of empathy - to understand and sincerely care about the others.
Shortly after committing to the journey, I met Lindsey, Missy and Patrick.
Lindsey: When the Black Lives Matter movement began, I decided that having an informed opinion on the issue required me, a white woman, to ask a person of color about their experiences and feelings. I looked around my friend group: there was none. I looked around my church: none. My community: none. So when I got into an Uber downtown Seattle on a work trip and noticed my driver was black, I asked if he’d be willing to share his perspective with me. It was brief but meaningful.
Eventually a more thorough, and to be honest more difficult, conversation happened with my new beautiful black friend, Lindsey, over dinner. I’m deeply grateful for her patience as she walked me through every hot-topic of racial tension (oh yes, hello white privilege). Because of this conversation over 6 months ago, I am slower to form opinions reading the news, more aware of my words and unconscious biases, and I’m less defensive.
Lindsey is not other.
Missy: Hard conversations continue, just yesterday in fact. I met a new friend Missy downtown Portland for lunch where much of our conversation was about abortion. She is pro-choice. I am pro-life. What does courage and empathy look like for us? We sat and listened to one another, even when it was hard. We asked questions out of sincere concern and curiosity.
When she chose empathy, she saw that I’m not a crazy conservative devaluing the heavy emotions and decisions of a woman with an unplanned pregnancy. I’m trying to protect a child’s right to live, as if it was outside the womb. When I chose empathy, I saw that Missy was not a crazy child-killer but a woman who deeply empathizes with the anguish of others – including women who are often denied critical medical care at pro-life institutions. In the end, she still protests and I still mourn lost babies but we will not villainize each other.
Missy is not other.
Patrick: All these conversations wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t met Patrick in October of 2016. I was referred to Patrick after I had an uncomfortable experience with a client (I didn’t know what pronoun to use because I couldn’t identify their gender). Patrick was highly educated on the topics of sexuality and gender so we met for a quick meeting in a quaint coffee shop (it’s Portland, after all). Thirty minutes into our conversation, Patrick told me he was gender queer. I didn’t know what that meant so awkwardly, yet sincerely, I asked him. He was specific. He was patient. He was honest. Then he sought to understand me.
While the conversation was insightful, it was something Patrick said right before we left that struck me.
We have solidarity.
He explained, my challenge to be an authentic Bible-believing Christ-follower in liberal Portland was similar to his challenge to be authentically gender queer in a world that didn’t hold space for him. We’ve both felt misunderstood. We’ve both felt judged. But more importantly, we both share humanity and the deep desire to be loved and heard.
Solidarity.
We are more similar than we are different.
Patrick is not other.
This has been my anthem as I wade into new uncomfortable conversations. When I’m tempted to feel flustered or get defensive, I’m reminded that deep down, we want the same things. We want to be loved. We want to be safe. We want to be understood. We want to belong.
I confess, I still prefer things cut and dry. There are still non-negotiable black-and-white areas in my life, like my belief in God. Honoring Him is still my life-pursuit. But on specific issues, I was afraid that loving well meant compromising my beliefs. Or vice-versa, that being devoted to beliefs meant that I couldn’t generously love people who believed and lived differently. But I was wrong.
I have found that there are very few things that are black-and-white.
Most of life exists in the messy undefined middle, where there are diverse experiences, different perspectives, and deep emotions. This journey of becoming grey has been incredibly insightful and liberating for me. I’m not mad every time I open Facebook (it’s a modern-day miracle!).
It’s not comfortable. It’s not safe. It’s not predictable. It requires courage to engage when it would be so much easier to stay within our familiar walls with agreeable people. But we can do hard things.
Instead of judging others, we can choose solidarity.
We can lean into the grey together.
Essay by: Amy Wolff
Connect with Amy on her blog and at her passion project - Don't Give Up Signs Movement.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Charlotte Kikel
I was only 26 years old, and life as I knew it was over. In the late spring of 2002, I could barely walk up a flight of stairs. I couldn’t believe it because I was an athlete. I had been a competitive swimmer through college and a recreational triathlete, so for my legs not to have the energy to get me up the stairs was alarming, to say the least.
I felt like I was wearing twenty-pound weights on each limb and all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch movies. A few days prior to this I thought I had just come down with a cold, but now I knew something else was going on.
So I did what most people do and went to my doctor who put me on a round of antibiotics.
They didn’t work.
So I went back to my doctor who put me on another round of antibiotics.
They didn’t work.
Third times a charm, right?
I returned to my doctor for yet another round of antibiotics.
They didn’t work.
Do you know the frustration of taking a drug and it not working, and possibly making things worse? Most of us do.
The fourth time I showed up to my doctor’s office, not only was I even sicker, but I was exasperated. The experts who were supposed to be helping me weren’t helping me! Somehow, I had a spark of fire still left in me, and I demanded blood work. At 11:30PM, I got a phone call from my doctor telling me to go to the emergency room. My white blood cell count and liver enzymes were off the charts.
When I got to the ER, they took one look at me and then my file and said, “Hmmm. Looks like your gall bladder’s in trouble.”
This made zero sense to me. The gall bladder helps digest fat. I had never had a problem digesting fat. $5000 dollars worth of tests and 8 hours of a sleepless night later, I heard a doctor talking outside my door, “Has anyone tested her for mono? She’s a textbook case.”
They ran that test. It was $15. It came back positive, and they sent me home with the wisdom of a grandmother: sleep and drink lots of water. I had a viral infection called mononucleosis, and the medical system has no tools for this.
I went into a deep, dark depression from the inflammatory cascade occurring in my body. I had excruciating headaches and panic attacks. I passed out five times in restaurants due to low blood sugar. I slept 12 hours a night, took 3 hour naps, and still didn’t have any energy.
This illness also destroyed my relationships because here’s the deal: I looked healthy. So if you look healthy and the doctors can’t find anything wrong with you, then you clearly have a mental problem, right?
Wrong.
After a few years of living in this hell hole, I contemplated suicide on my bathroom floor. I know I’m not alone: 10 million Americans contemplated suicide last year and those are just the people who are willing to admit it. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/10-million-us-adults-seriously-considered-suicide-last-year/
Brushing my teeth seemed like an extraordinary task. I had this strange red rash around my hairline, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. My joyful spirit that wanted to engage with the world around me was trapped in a body that didn’t want to be here. I couldn’t reconcile this and wondered how much longer I could go on.
It sounds corny, but something deep inside of me told me not to give up. Curiosity, anger, and God kept me going. How did this happen? How did I go from swimming 3 hours a day to having a difficult time walking up a flight of stairs? What in the actual fuck is going on here?
After a conversation with a nutritionist and a friend of a friend who had a similar experience, I had a sneaking suspicion that the fact that my dad was vice president of Imperial Sugar in Sugar Land, Texas had something to do with my illness. Turns out I was right. With what energy I had, I started reading books about nutrition and holistic healing. Fifteen years later, I now have a library of over 300 health-related books.
Sugar, along with excessive exercise, too little sleep, and a stressful job, were the perfect storm for the collapse of my vitality.
The good news is that with a tincture of time, herbal medicine, and significant dietary and lifestyle changes, I got better. Much, much better. I got my life back, and this time it’s better than it was.
I have plenty of energy to move through my day. I can think clearly. I love my work and my husband. Life feels like worth living again.
I ended up pursuing a 2-year certificate in nutrition from Bauman College and obtaining a Master’s of Science Degree in Western Herbal Medicine from the Maryland University of Integrative Health in an effort to understand what had happened to me and how others could prevent it from happening to them.
I now know that same wisdom flowing through my body that resulted in chronic illness is the same wisdom that healed me. I got sick because I asked my body to adapt to the impossible. I controlled it every step of the way, until it made me surrender. Now, I have no choice but to listen to my body every single day or I suffer.
It takes courage to heal. I had to give up everything I loved to reclaim my vitality.
I am no longer a competitive athlete. I participate in gentle restorative activities.
I no longer eat sugar and have dreams of owing a bakery. I had to create a new career – one that would respect my health AND enhance the health of others.
We can’t have pets in our home. I had to find a new home for my dog.
And when I gave birth to our son at home at the foot our bed, and then slipped back into another deep, dark inflammatory depression, I saw it this time. I saw the opportunity for another layer of healing. I saw the need to hibernate with my baby. Under very different circumstances, I had to give up who I knew myself to be all over again.
As a direct result of that transformation, I wrote a book titled Eat in Peace to Live in Peace: Your Handbook for Vitality. I just couldn’t keep all that I have learned to myself, so I wrote it down for you…in the name of hope and for the courage to become.
Charlotte Kikel, MS, NC, ACN, MCPP
Board Certified Holistic Nutritionist & Registered Herbalist (AHG), Eat in Peace Wellness Consulting
512-587-0338 //http://www.charlottekikel.com
Schedule appointment herehttp://eatinpeacewellnessconsulting.fullslate.com/
Find Charlotte’s book, Eat in Peace to Live in Peace, here!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Angela Fry
The Courage to Become a Mother
My husband and I waited a 15 months before we actively started trying to have a baby after we were married. By month 20 I was concerned. So, after much discussion, we decided to see an infertility doctor. We most certainly weren’t getting any younger and my need, my want for a child was in overdrive.
Did I have the courage for what I knew would be an emotional process?
Painful tests, Clomid, ultrasounds, Intrauterine Insemination is how I spent that summer and fall. Nothing. Nothing, but tears, lots of money spent, and sadness. Emotionally, it was like I was drowning. We took a break and went on a cruise.
Six months later after our heads were clear, we were relaxed and very hopeful that this time treatment would be successful. We met with Dr. Michael Henry and came to the decision that In-Vitro Fertilization was my best option at getting pregnant.
So we began our IVF journey.
On August 16th I had my IVF egg retrieval. Two embryos were transferred back to me on August 21, 2012. We prayed.
Four days before I was advised to I took a pregnancy test. And it was POSITIVE!
My pregnancy was confirmed with my doctor’s office and less 2 weeks later I had my first ultrasound. After much silence, my doctor said the four words I will never forget…”I think there’s three.” I cried and my heart felt like it exploded. We were asked to come back in a week for a second ultrasound to confirm triplets!
Did I have the courage to get through this high-risk pregnancy?
By 22 weeks I was the size of full term singleton pregnancy. A few days before my next appointment I felt like I was leaking amniotic fluid.
I was admitted into the hospital to monitor Baby A overnight. An ultrasound confirmed her fluid was low and that she was much smaller than the other two. I was sent home the next day officially on bedrest.
Ten days in and I was sent by ambulance from our local hospital to St. Vincent Women's Hospital in Indianapolis. I was admitted for observation for the contractions I was having. I was sent home the next day with medication if they started again.
My husband left for a work trip to Florida and the next day I was admitted into the hospital again. At 26 weeks 4, days I was there for the rest of my pregnancy.
Did I have the courage to survive this hospital stay alone?
I was kind of happy because the babies would now be monitored daily, but I had no idea just how horrible the next month would be. An overnight stay in a hospital is doable. A week stay is worse. I was an in-patient for almost a month. I don’t wish that on anyone no matter the reason they are there.
On a snowy morning in February I stood up to go to the bathroom and thought I had peed. For some reason, I felt like I needed to let the nurse know. She rushed to get the doctor. He checked me and said “Call your husband. It looks like you’re having the babies today. What? Today? I’m only 29 weeks 5 days. Then I was scared.
That afternoon I was wheeled into the operating room for my c-section. Including myself and my husband, there was the anesthesiologist, 3 doctors, several nurses, and a neonatal nurse for each of the babies. I just laid on the table and cried.
Did I have the courage to do this?
Jase was born first. He was 2lbs 6oz and 15 inches long. He didn’t make a sound. I didn’t even get to see him. Seconds later Henley was born. At 2lbs 3oz and just over 12 inches long, she cried, but I didn’t get to see her either. Sadie Marie came last at 2lbs 2oz and 13 inches long. No sounds from her either. She was whisked away too. I cried and cried and cried.
About an hour later I was wheeled into the NICU to finally see the babies. After 76, 103, and 108 day NICU stays I brought my babies home.
It turns out I did have the courage to become the mother that I always wanted to be.
Almost 4 1/2 years later I am here, surviving and thriving with happy, healthy, crazy preschoolers. Although them being born so prematurely wasn’t ideal, God had a plan for them. I can’t wait to see what else he has in store for my sweet peas. Their lives may have begun at birth, but it was life after the NICU that we all really began living.
Angela is the mother of 4-year-old triplets Jase, Henley, and Sadie. She spends her days loving and sometimes loathing the experience of raising triplets. When she’s not chasing three preschoolers you can find her blogging and drinking an entire pot of coffee in one day.
Connect with Angela on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Aseky Bonnaire
“Everything happens for a reason”-says everyone when something unfortunate or inconvenient happens.
My name Is Aseky Bonnaire and I live for that quote. I’m a millennial mom raising three boys in Sunny Orlando Florida. I’m married to my high school sweet heart, and childhood crush. I like to think I have it all figured out, but I don’t, nor will I ever, but let a girl think she does haha. I guess I should go into depth more about myself. I met my husband when I was 11 years old and had THE biggest crush on him. We started dating when I was 15 and he was 16. We dated from sophomore year all throughout High School. We did homecoming dances, prom, graduation, the whole 9 yards.
After high school we both went to the local State College. After the first semester flew by, I decided, I love this college thing and I don’t want a baby to interrupt anything. I went to my OB to get a script for birth control, and that’s where I found out I was pregnant. Literally at that moment, it felt like my entire world caved in on me. I was just going to be another teen mom. I was going to live a hard life, I was never going to be able to be on my own 2 feet, and I would have to rely on my mom forever. After our family found out and all the initial shock went away, we actually got really excited to be bringing in a life into this world. Renaldo Jr (RJ) was brought into this world October 23, 2012. We were young, and didn’t know what the heck we were doing, but we knew we had each other and we wanted the best life possible for him. Throughout my entire pregnancy I stayed in school, and even a week after delivering I was going in to take mandatory tests. Renaldo (my boyfriend at the time, now husband) landed a good job, making decent money (for a 20 year old) in customer service (he still works there BTW).
We moved out of my Mom’s house when RJ was 7 months old. We moved into a townhouse 100% on our own. We saved up as much as we could from Renaldo working 5 days a week, 50+ hours, all while I was in school full time. We felt like ‘we made it’. I don’t know if you remember how it felt when you first moved out on your own, whether it was college, or when you got married, but it’s an indescribable feeling. Shortly after moving I got my first “big girl” job at the hospital working in finance. Because of that job, I took a break on school, but also because of that job, we could afford more things outside of bills. When RJ was 11 months old, Renaldo bought me an engagement ring and asked me to be his wife. For the next 12 months we planned our dream wedding, I switched departments at work so I could be home more, bought our first brand new car and went on a bachelorette/ bachelor cruise. Our wedding came and it wasn’t short of perfect. All of our childhood best friends were there, and it was just a great time with great people.
Shortly after our honeymoon we got pregnant with our 2nd son. My husband got promoted (this was his 4th promotion within the 3 years) but It was that pregnancy that I found my love for blogging, and connecting with other women via Instagram. That’s when I discovered the power of a hashtag LOL! Good pregnancy overall. He was born June 17, 2015. We brought him home to our little 2 bedroom townhouse. We knew we wanted to move into something bigger, but never thought we would be able to buy a house. Come on, we were only 22/23 years old. While on maternity leave, I got bored and saw an ad that went something like “you can have a mortgage as low as your rent!” so I called that number, one thing lead to another, obstacle after obstacle, few months went by, and we became homeowners. Shortly after becoming homeowners, I got pregnant with our third (totally not planned, I was breastfeeding. So FYI Breastfeeding IS NOT BIRTHCONTROL. It doesn’t work. Joel is proof haha) but he’s such a blessing and the perfect addition to our family. We literally brought him into the world in that home (no, seriously, I delivered him at home with no one but my husband and kids present). And now we are currently renovating the house from the floor up.
Not only were we home owners, we became homeowners at 22 and 23 year olds, with 2 kids, in the city where we both grew up, completely on our own, and not living up to the stereotype people categorized us in. There is such a negative stigma with being a teen mom. People automatically assume you’re going to live a hard and tough life. While YES, it was hard having a kid at 19, yes there were times we had no clue how we were going to put gas until the next paycheck, but did it stop us, NO! I feel that so many young moms and teen moms automatically categorize themselves and determine their future before they even give themselves a shot at anything.
Having a super supportive (emotionally and financially) partner plays a HUGE role in all of this. Renaldo and I are a team. We’re in this together. We grew up and matured together, and at the same pace, so we were always on the same page when it came to goals that we wanted to achieve. Buying a house is definitely not my ‘I made it’ moment, nor will it come from anything materialistic.
My ‘I made it’ moment came in motherhood. Because RJ, my husband worked for that amazing job he has. Because of RJ, I found my purpose. I know that being home with my kids is where my heart found a home. When I had no friends (because all my friends are normal, and have kids at a regular age) I found comfort in the community of the women of the blogging, and social media world. Making connections with other moms from all walks of life, different backgrounds, all ages, is where I found my niche. Blogging and sharing my life with other teen moms is where I found sense of belonging.
It’s amazing when something is for you, it just falls into place. When I told my husband I wanted to get back into blogging, literally opportunity after opportunity rolled in. It’s like God patted me on my back, placed the right words in my heart, and whispered, “This is for you. Share your life, share your experiences, be a light where someone is in darkness. You got this boo!”.
I know this was a lot to read, but a girl got a lot to share! I’m so thankful for crossing paths with Catia, and being able to share my story with you all! Thanks for reading and remember; whether you’re a teen mom or not, everything happens for a reason. What may feel like the end of the world is potentially a blessing in disguise.
I call this, Becoming: Not another stereotyped teen mom.
Be sure to keep up with Aseky on her web site, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Ashely Solberg
Dearest beauties, my name is Ashley Solberg, and I’m the founder of She Is Blank Space. Myself and fifteen other ladies joined together to start a blog where we share about life, fashion, beauty and the things we love as moms. We believe there is strength in our stories as I learned strength in mine the hard way. Silently hiding behind my pain, I got nowhere, but once I spoke of what I had come through, I realized how much we need courage in ourselves to encourage others.
One day, I woke up.
No, not by the beeping of my alarm clock or my kids poking me in the side before sunrise, but I WOKE up.
My innermost being was so lost, confused, and just flat out blah.
Everyday…crickets.
I absolutely could not answer the question of who I was anymore. Sad, right? Yeah, I thought so too. This started a long downward before an upward one. It was a lot of questioning and addressing things I was holding onto before I could start moving forward. I dug in deep, cried a lot of tears from past hurts, anger, and whatever else I needed to face. This was hard for me, a person that seemingly had it all together, to admit defeat and that I was failing at “life.”
In general, nothing about life was bad. I had a wonderful husband, three beautiful children, a great paying salary job and by God’s grace, we’ve always had everything we needed. Something was missing though. That spark--I lacked passion and zeal. I allowed my light to be dimmed.
My bright light, little by little, diminished. The fight of infertility testing, waiting, hoping, with nothingness—dimmed. After finally achieving a long-awaited pregnancy, we found out we were having twins—my light started to come back. Five months into the pregnancy, one of our perfect, sweet girls had a portion of her amniotic sac break away and entangle her foot and cord. The day before fetal surgery, it caused her to go on from this life far too soon. I could not grieve, I had to carry her, I had to be strong for our baby still with us. I carried joy and sorrow for so long I didn’t know how to feel just one—light extinguished.
We named our daughter that was with us, Ella Joy, which means a bright light of joy. Every day I clung to her so tightly amidst my tears of thankfulness and sadness. For hours, I would just watch her breathe. Becoming a mother was everything I could have hoped for, I truly loved her with every fiber and then some. Every milestone first I was truly happy at watching her grow, but I also felt like someone was missing.
At my worst point, I guarded myself by avoiding going anywhere completely and when I did, fleeing as soon as I could to avoid a breakdown when someone asked the “are you ok?” question. I guess I knew if I allowed myself to truly process, it would hurt too bad, so I just kept going, delaying my grief even longer. The saddest part of all of it, is I knew better. I realized that battle would always be and I had a decision to make of how much I wanted to fight it.
When my daughter was 18 months old, I felt like I was ready to walk through the infertility treatments again towards another little one. Things happened much faster this time as we knew what treatment course worked. We were pregnant, and not just pregnant, but doubly pregnant. Yes, you heard that right…twins, twice. We were over the moon, but also fearful. This whole mix of emotions seemed to be a thing for us and I grew tired of it. A few months pregnant, I decided enough was enough and I was just going to be happy where we were at minus the fear part. I enjoyed every bit of the pregnancy and my little toddler sidekick by my side. The twins were born at 33 weeks, but being a NICU nurse at the time (funny how life’s seasons prepare you for what you need), I was comforted by my co-workers as I stayed by their side and stuffed them full of milk for nine days prior to going home.
Then, well…life. Along with experiencing the loss of our Emmy before, becoming an exhausted new mom again (I seriously don’t remember the babies first six months with that kind of tired), but mostly going through the motions and convincing myself I was ok where I was just trying to stay afloat.
Things were different last year when all this She Is Blank Space business started, and although I remembered those feelings, I needed to discover what God wanted for me right now instead of clinging to my past and those coulda-woulda-shoulda thoughts. I had a new perspective and needed to filter through what that all meant.
After the air finally cleared for me, it seemed like everyone I knew was fighting against things in their health, marriages, kids-- anything and everything.
And then it happened, this pivotal moment that caused everything to collide. I remembered. I remembered what it felt like to be a part of something bigger than me, I remembered the things I dreamed about as a teen that I wondered how they would happen, I remembered what it should mean to be a great friend.
Out of the normal for this fairly quiet individual, I posted a random video of encouragement for others as I was also speaking to myself. Out of my own path I was still walking, this door opened my heart for others again. Even as I pleaded for someone else to be picked, because surely, I was in no position to do this, I could not escape my butterflies. It became evident I just needed to jump into something REALLY out of my comfort zone. As someone with a supportive family and amazing circle, I knew that we were very blessed and not everyone had this. What better place to offer this to others than on a website that could reach far beyond what I could physically.
So, what to call this new venture? I was drawing a blank (see where I’m going?). How do I categorize this when I want it to reach all women in different phases of life? It was impossible to put a label on it, and one morning while changing one of the twins’ diaper, it came to me…”She Is Blank Space.” No, not the void kind of blank space, but the blank space gets filled in with something. She is…confident, a college gal, rocking at mommy’ing, learning to be whole...you get the idea. This name allows us to talk about things in the present, but also towards the future and what we are striving after as we walk the oh so many shoes we fill as women.
I knew I couldn’t do this alone as we all have a story to tell and I asked around fifteen other women to join alongside me. Some of us are married, mothers, others in college still finding out what we want in life, some love to exercise, some love fashion and so on. Can I just point out how amazing they all are? We are always better together as women supporting each other.
While you could give me all the fun parts of what we share like food and DIY all day, my hope for She Is Blank Space is for each woman to find community and encouragement from other women who have been there or are there. Although I wanted this to happen right away, we had to build our foundation and I also had to transition out of my full time job to devote the time needed. I knew it would happen, but in the meantime, remained faithful to my job as a nurse, staying up super late to prep things for the next day for posts and social media so I could use my break time to get them published. We started to bring in a steady stream of income between working with other companies and our shop, but it wasn’t quite lining up to my salary. Keep in mind, I was completely clueless about web and graphic design, traffic flow, utilizing social media for things other than posting pictures of my kids!
Around the nine month mark since our launch, it became clear we weren’t going to grow any farther until I had more time to give. With three kids five and under, being a wife, full time nurse and being involved in ministry, the only thing that could change was my job. So, I handed in my two weeks notice, which they were not happy about losing me, but understood. That leap was hard y’all; I knew the hubby and I could survive on Ramen noodles if we had to, but our kids could not. However, I had such peace knowing that this dream would not have given me without a way being made.
And boy did that happen. Money came in from a random account I had with my old job equivalent to a month's pay, one of my husband’s pay checks that never got deposited was discovered, our mortgage went down and so on. I remained baffled by this whole process, but it’s amazing to see seeds that have been planted over the course of my life blooming into something I never would have imagined for myself.
So here we are, right in the middle of this amazing venture, and it’s time. It’s time to dig in a little deeper, truly bringing realness, vulnerability, love. In a world full of perfect social media pictures, we are going to those places that are hard, but necessary for growth. As a person with a love of gardening, it’s easiest to explain it this way: before new blooms can be achieved on a tree or plant, you must trim back the branches. It seems like it doesn’t make any sense to “hurt” the plant, but it triggers it to say, “hey, I’ve got work to do, I’m stagnant, I’ve stopped growing, I’ve wilted, I need to wake up, I need to grow again.”
So how about we bloom together as we find our courage to become, ok? Life is far too short to be walked out without purpose or in dry, empty places. For you, your friends, your family-let’s jump into our dreams together and allow ourselves to be willing to hear and act upon the tugs of our hearts.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
