Courage to Become | Iliasis Muniz
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?
Be exactly who you are, and believe in yourself no matter what.
At twenty years old all I was thinking about was getting married and having babies. Although my life was 100% opposite of what I thought I wanted, I knew who I still wanted to be inside. I just wanted to be me. Whoever that girl was, I just wanted to be the most honest and open soul for myself and others.
By 20, I was living at my ex-husband's parents' house and basically without a job. He saved me from being out on the streets and moving from house to house. I will never regret my love for him, but I will regret thinking I was just a woman who could only marry and have children.
Life, later on, proved I was more than just that.
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Iliasis is one of them.
Enjoy her story of becoming. Iliasis and I started working together about 5 years ago. She photographed Alexandra for her 1-year portraits, they were divine and we’ve been working together and friends ever since. I have seen her grown and stretch and step into her own light. Please welcome, Iliasis.
Iliasis Muniz from Iliasis Muniz Photography
Tell us a little bit about yourself:
On growing up:
I can say that my most favorite place to live has so far been Texas. I have been in the South Padre Island area (bay area) for 15 years this summer, and it has allowed me to be who I always wanted to be for myself. My mother, who I do not have a relationship with anymore, took me on a roller coaster of a ride since the day I was born.
I was born in Hampton, Va, and visited my father/family for the first time when I was three years old. My father was getting married to another woman when my mother was pregnant with me, and let's say that I understood why she wanted to leave our beautiful island of Puerto Rico.
Shortly after, my mother fell in love with a man named Johnny, who was in the Navy, and he showed my mother and me the world. We lived in Hawaii, Italy, and visited many other places. Then at the age of 11, my mother ran into an incident with the law, and there I went for the first time to live with my grandmother in Puerto Rico.
Her mom, who was already taking care of my older brother Bryan who is Autistic. She was the one who also was extremely overprotective and lived in a poor area. It was humbling to be raised where I thought my whole life was supposed to take place. Time passes by, and my momma was ready to care for me again. I am now 15, and she is living in Texas with her new boyfriend. I knew when I got on that plane; I wasn't going back to Puerto Rico. I had experienced a lot already as it was and felt like my life would not have been able to grow if I'd stay in Puerto Rico.
Again, my relationship with my mother has always been a confusing journey. Now almost 30, I have realized a lot of my mother's decision had nothing to do with me, yet it felt like it was against me. I went back to my mother with so much anger and confusion and felt abandoned by her. I didn't understand why she'd just drop me off, so at 17 years old, I left the house to go live with my first boyfriend and lover.
My mother and I fell into another argument, and the words she expressed to me that day put fire in my heart to be a better version of myself to prove to her I could make it without her ever again. She said, "Of course I'll choose him over you, he pays the bills you don't.”
From that moment on, I had a mission to give myself the best I had to offer without her or anyone's judgment. I've been without my family here in Texas ever since. Of course, I visit my family back in Puerto Rico every year or two, but my mother... she is who made me and created me! She is who I will forever thank for giving me a chance to live life on my own. I love her and understand her, but I didn't have to become her. That is what I want and hope for others to know.
On love:
I have also experienced a nine-year relationship with my ex-husband, which was not a smooth journey. The man I married was intelligent, handsome, and had the family goals that I never thought existed. He was, at one point, the man of my dreams, but of course, with time and growing, things change. We changed as a couple, and we changed as individuals.
I never thought I would find out two months before my wedding that my future husband had cheated on me and was dabbling in a lifestyle of the "rich and famous". I believe that when we fall hard onto the ground face first, we mustn't cry, and we mustn't allow others to see our pain. However, we should take that pain and turn it into victories and positivity for ourselves. At least that is how I cope through difficult times.
Two years passed and life took us both again into two different directions. My reasons for staying with a spouse who cheated were my own, and I knew no one could ever take that away from me because I was going to be the only one who would experience it. My life with my ex-husband not only showed me what I did and did not want for myself anymore, but it also brought incredible observation as to why I made certain choices in my life while growing up. I am forever grateful for this struggle as it has indeed brought out my soul's strength that I always knew was there.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
The one thing I dreamt of doing was being a boss. Running someone's company and being able just to be free. I never thought my dream would come true. Now here I am running a boss babe business all on my own and feeling freer than ever in life. It came with a lot of hard work, but not once did I ever doubt myself. I lost girlfriends at the beginning of my career because they simply didn't think I was serious. Eight years this September, I continue to be blessed and thankful for all of what God has given me. My strength, my pure soul, and open heart were what got me here. I've had this drive since I was 15, looking for the opportunity to become who I wanted to become.
How did it feel getting started?
It felt exhilarating! I knew I wanted it; I knew I had what it took. My life had gotten me there for a reason. I never mentioned this prior because every detail is hard to remember about your life, but as I look back on it all now, God had set me up for this career. I just hadn't realized it yet. Before finding my career as a professional photographer, I worked three jobs. I worked at clothing store Isla/Rica as a sales rep, I was a teller at a local bank, and the bank owner hired me as his bookkeeper for his new restaurant on the island. What a perfect way to prep before starting your own business! Sales, banking, and bookkeeping. At 22 I didn’t think I was ready. Yet, here He is making things happen all because I just listened to Him. I am beyond grateful for the growth from then to now and can say He truly exists, and we just simply have to listen to what he gives us in our lives.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started as a photographer?
To be honest, the hardest obstacle that I had faced when I got started was losing my relationship with my ex-husband. I didn't know that my excitement and a newfound love for my career changed the way he looked at me. I knew he was happy for me, but I think he might have been upset that he hadn't found his nitch yet in life. I was very young and we weren't married yet, so I was putting my career in the front row more than I was putting our relationship. Personally, I thought he would find me more attractive for being the independent woman that I was and being able to hold my own. But overtime, we grew apart.
Being so young while in a very serious relationship and not understanding balance is something I wish someone had guided me on. I wish when this all began, I could have known and started to teach myself balance of all things that I love, but that was not the path that was intended for me. Everything happens for a reason
What motivates you to stay positive throughout all the hardships?
To be honest, love is what has kept me going and feeling like a survivor. I know that if I continue to show myself love and show others love that we can keep growing. We can keep going through hardships and feel the pain, but also understand that this had to happen to get to your destination. Which is where He wants you to be. No matter how hard the situation you are facing, you must not stop loving. Keep loving yourself, keep loving others, keep loving what you are doing in life. Whether it is with your career, your children, your spouse, even your animals, just keep that heart open and your mind free. Everything ends up falling back into place if you simply go through it with love and not anger.
Which living person do you most admire?
Ah, this one is one of the hardest questions for me. I have been blessed to have crossed paths with some pretty amazing people in the past almost 30 years of my life. Since my relationship with my mother hasn't been what I hoped for, I have personally become friends with many women who are a few years older than I am. I find myself friends with women who I aspire to be. The majority of my closest friends are mothers. I wish I could talk about every one of them, but this one amazing friend has shown me a different side of strength. She is a mother of two daughters, a fighter of on and off going depression, and an amazing wife/sister/daughter to her family. Verna has been my best friend for the past five years of my life. She's accepted change in so many ways and is one of my few friends who knows herself inside and out. I have learned so much about life and love because of her. She expresses love the way I wish I had when growing up. She fights with tears and her heart vs. anger and fear. She isn't perfect. She is such an understanding friend. She enjoys her space as much as I do, but when we get together again, we stuff our faces with our energy. I admire the way she lives life and the way she gives life to others. She is sensitive and yet a fighter at the same time.
Verna is an amazing woman and someone who I hope to have in my life forever. She just moved to Panama with her husband and two daughters. What a change, and the crazy part is that I have been blessed to be by her side through it all with her. We were in the car together, heading to a function when she received the text message from her husband about the opportunity. I immediately started to tear up, but at the same time rushed to say DO IT! What do you have to lose if you don't? From that moment on, I knew we were still going to stay best friends because when you love someone so much, you want to see them succeed. You want them to have the best life possible, and I knew being in the RGV wasn't it for her. Since then, I have visited her in Panama, because I wanted to show her how much I still love her friendship. My best friend, Verna is a warrior!
Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I could sing. I love singing around the house and most and about, but to be brutally honest, I am not very good. When I was in school in Virginia, choir audition for the lead role of Star-Spangled Banner. I, of course, auditioned because I loved to sing. Well, this sweet girl beat me, and from that moment on, I knew my life wasn't meant for me to be a singer. So yes, my most wished talent would be to sing with a good melody.
What is your most marked characteristic?
My most marked characteristic would have to be my positivity about life. I try my best to look at things and change perspective immediately when a negative comment is made because it's how we should all look at life. We should turn our frowns upside and be thankful for every little thing we have for ourselves and loved ones surrounding us. Things can always be worse, so by keeping that mindset in the negative place. Happiness is the key to staying alive and surviving. Positivity brings warmth, hope, and love to our souls. Which at the end of our time is the only thing we get to keep with us in the afterlife. At least that is what I am hoping for when my time comes, to simply have a happy soul.
What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?
Always think positive and change your perspective in life. I am a true believer in people's energy and like to keep my vibes high. That's why I feel like photography was a perfect choice for me as a career. I genuinely feel as if my positive energy helps creates the smiles I capture on my camera.
My way of using my skills of positivity and change of perspective is what has allowed me to be the person that I am today and keep my business doors open to the community. As we begin to work together, natural laughs and smiles start to show.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Well, just to be living -- to be honest. This world, at any time in age, has been tough to live. We have changed so much over the last decade alone, and to be honest, I am just blessed to be still standing with an open heart, healthy soul, and communicative mind. When I left Puerto Rico at 15, I couldn't imagine where my life would have taken me. I never once believed that my life would be the way it is with all the ups and downs. I am blessed just to have accomplished life itself for almost 30 years. Just reaching 30 this summer will be my best accomplish yet. I am genuinely just thankful to be still alive and well.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in mud?
My faith in myself. We all believe in a higher power, and I believe that He lives inside of me, which makes me powerful. He lives in me and is the one guiding me, so as long as I know my faith and believe in myself, everything will be fine. I know that if I am sad, He will be sad. I know that if I am happy, He will be happy. God is truly in all of us and therefore, we are all Gods. So if I am keeping myself, my body, and soul in the healthiest way possible then He will be feeling the same. I continue to tell myself these things anytime, and every time something happens in my life. Good or bad. The only person that can get us out of the mud is ourselves. So trust in yourself and have faith that you can do anything, and you will survive.
What's one piece of advice you'd give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
BE STRONG! BE BRAVE! BE FEARLESS!
Those three powerful keys have helped me arrive at where I am at in life. Being strong for yourself is the hardest thing you can do because we rely on other people's love and energy to heal us, but in all reality, we have it all along to heal ourselves. We need to listen and have the strength to feel it. Being brave for yourself is a huge key to getting anywhere in life, because without that energy, how will you be able to say yes to the next chapter. Say yes, even if you aren't brave enough. It will get you to where you belong to be. Being fearless is something I feel like we all struggle with because, well, let's face it, its scary! But if you focus on being strong, and being brave, being fearless comes naturally. Those two energies, I believe is what allows you to become a courageous woman. We can do anything to be and get where we deserve to be, but without those energies, in your heart and soul you won't be able to get there. I mean, get there with knowing you did it for yourself and on your own. That is the power we have as women—strength, Bravery, and being fearless.
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?
Be exactly who you are, and believe in yourself no matter what.
At twenty years old all I was thinking about was getting married and having babies. Although my life was 100% opposite of what I thought I wanted, I knew who I still wanted to be inside. I just wanted to be me. Whoever that girl was, I just wanted to be the most honest and open soul for myself and others.
By 20, I was living at my ex-husband's parents' house and basically without a job. He saved me from being out on the streets and moving from house to house. I will never regret my love for him, but I will regret thinking I was just a woman who could only marry and have children.
Life, later on, proved I was more than just that.
The fact that down the line in our relationship, I realized I couldn't conceive a child like the average woman was what changed my mind on who I was supposed to be. I had grown up thinking I was supposed to be this amazing mother and amazing wife. I never thought in a million years I was going to be her anytime soon.
To my 20-year-old self — be who you are, and don't be afraid of her. Don't be scared of anyone, anything, and especially any of the ideas of change.
I am who I am supposed to be today, and I will never take any of my life experiences away.
Iliasis Tyane is a professional photographer and owner of a local children's boutique, Tyane's Baby Boutique. Originally from Aguadilla, Puerto Rico, Iliasis moved to the small town of Port Isabel at the age of 15 as a young girl with big dreams. Shortly after graduating high school, she discovered her passion for photography, and that quickly blossomed into a successful and thriving photography business. Iliasis, or "Ily" as she is known to most, is self-taught and self-made, which speaks volumes about her dedication, persistence, and determination to be successful. She effortlessly juggles not only her photography business, but also runs her baby boutique all on her own. She is a total go-getter who personally manages all aspects of her businesses; from photographing clients to advertising and promoting herself via social media and other platforms, to buying and stocking for her boutique, Ily really does it all! In just 7 years of operating her photography business she has made quite a name for herself, and has even been featured with an article in The Bump magazine for her popular cake smash sessions. On top of being a successful business owner, Ily has become a supporter and mentor for other aspiring photographers in and around Texas. She now shares her amazing gift for photography and the knowledge she has gained through her years of experience by way of her photography workshops. Through her work, she is empowering other women to pursue their passions and follow their dreams just as she did. At only 29 years old, she is an incredible example of the "American dream". She is truly an inspiration too many women and is someone we can all learn so much from. She has also been a Guest Speaker for Social Empowerment Movement Supporter.
Be sure to connect with Iliasis on her social media channels and her website.
Iliasis Muniz on Facebook / Iliasis Muniz on Instagram / Iliasis Muniz Website
Hi friend!
Welcome to Bright Light.
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.
Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.
I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.
I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.
You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.
To each session, I bring my training as a Certified Conscious Coach, my graduate studies in Marriage and Family Therapy, and my decade-long career as an author and keynote speaker. My approach is multi-cultural, grounded in research and my own experience as the mama of two young girls.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Monthly Guide
Shine your brightest,
Courage to Become | Shea Jones
Becoming a youth pastor who has never been to seminary is also an obstacle for me. It was one of my pastor's ideas and sounded crazy to me at first. But, he said... “you're already doing it, Shea.” So, I worry about the teaching aspects sometimes and try to overcompensate with the connection, fun, community & service parts, but I'm also a natural learner so I think deep down I'm capable.
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Shea is one of them.
Enjoy her story of becoming. Shea makes me grin from ear to ear because she cares so much. I can feel her caring through the internet. She loves her people and her community well, she wants the best for all of us, and she’s not afraid to work hard at those things. Please welcome, Shea!
Shea Jones from Austin New Church
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
I'm a mom of two sassy elementary-aged girls. A wife, friend, daughter, youth pastor (for 4 yrs), and accountant (for 20). I've always been a bit of a rebel, from a young age. I could never shake my head yes if my gut said no. Which caused strife when I was younger and I learned how to navigate it better, to show discernment in responding, to make it count, to be heard, and helpful. I was raised by people who told me my voice mattered which I didn't realize was somewhat uncommon, so I have always believed it does, matter.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I majored in government at UT Austin and always wanted to be in politics or become a lawyer. I've done neither.
I love that I get to tell my students that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. And that I added a new career (pastoring) at 38 yrs old. I didn't love school so I think that's part of why I never became a lawyer... although I worked a lot while I went to college (and had a decent amount of fun) so maybe that's why I didn't totally love it. Because I do love learning. I haven't been in politics because I think because I realized how risky, and uncertain it is and that doesn't pair well with my control-freak tendencies.
I'm also not sure I have thick enough skin.
Although... because my life & church is so driven by social justice issues in a way I feel like I get to do parts of both, just without the official title. I also have super loved getting involved in local politics.. my city and school board, etc. -- just taking every opportunity to get to know them because I feel like local politics can be super hard to feel connected to and understand.
Shea with the Austin New Church Students
How did it feel getting started?
I feel like I'm always getting started.
I've never been a visionary or dreamer. Any job or opportunity I've gotten hasn't been because I've dreamed it up. It's generally been pointed out by someone else that I should try it. Or I've just tried to work hard, kind, and be impactful wherever I've been, which I think has left me open to the things that have come my way and been a part of my journey. My husband is a dreamer.. he's creative... know's where he wants to retire & what he wants to be doing (fly fishing)... and I've always been pretty content to just be with my people, so I'll pretty much be where he is with some books. At first, I used to feel inadequate around him because I didn't have a dream to be a rock star or write music, but I realized it's what makes us work, and it's okay to not know what you want next. But be curiously & optimistically open for whatever presents itself.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started pastoring?
When I think about my life I think I have always been blessed with family, resources, support & friendship.
Some general challenges in my life have been my dad committing suicide when I was 24 (due to alcoholism & depression) and my parents’ divorce I believe. My husband also had a little sister pass when he was in middle school from Muscular Dystrophy so we're very aware that our lease of parenting, love, relationships are very much affected by both having lost someone in our immediate families sooner than you're generally 'supposed' to.
We know that makes us appreciate what we have & try to be present, but we also know it makes us worry & fear. The people we have lost are never far from our thoughts and that can be both a good & bad thing I think. Becoming a youth pastor who has never been to seminary is also an obstacle for me. It was one of my pastor's ideas and sounded crazy to me at first. But, he said... “you're already doing it, Shea.” So, I worry about the teaching aspects sometimes and try to overcompensate with the connection, fun, community & service parts, but I'm also a natural learner so I think deep down I'm capable.
I've also 'been in church' my whole life so that should count for something. The difference is since I didn't have a clue I'd be a pastor one day (was NEVER on my radar) I didn't listen in church the way you would if you thought you'd be teaching it one day. Maybe that's the lesson.. we should all be prepared to teach anything we're learning. Another recent obstacle is the kidney donation thing that happened 2 years ago, but I don't talk about that a ton bc it feels weird. It was a super-spiritual process for me, which would be a whole other paragraph+ but the gist is I didn't want fear to lead my decision. I felt it was important for my kids to see that, and I do believe that as we can we are meant to give back all we have, because Jesus told us to.
Shea with the Austin New Church Students
What motivates you to be a pastor?
I am motivated mostly by CONNECTION. One of my pastor bosses had me do the Strengthfinders 2.0 test and that was revealed to me. It makes me realize that connection drives most of what I do, how I respond, where I find my purpose & my gratitude. I can't stand fluff, or surface, or cliche for the life of me. That is the downfall. I crave authenticity to a fault - probably.
Which living person do you most admire?
I've always LOVED Oprah. When she had her last show about 8-9 years ago I had a watch party with like 30 friends. We made Oprah's favorite cocktail (Moscow mule), we served O-shaped food. It was a blast. And felt a bit like the end of an era. Oprah stood up for all people before it was cool. I had friends who didn't like her because she was too inclusive. Which is probably why I love her.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Singing! I literally can't carry a tune but I love to sing. And maybe sometimes I can if I'm lucky but the problem is I'm so tone-deaf that I wouldn't know it. And my husband's a musician so it extra hurts. I distinctly remember my dad telling me in my grandparent's church when I was around 8 years old that I couldn't sing... I actually have always felt VERY loved by him despite how he left this earth, and know he was trying to be funny, but his comment has stuck with me.
What is your most marked characteristic?
I think I'm kind of an asshole. I've gotten better at reigning it in, but as I've said I kind of always have been an IDGAF person. In fact, I should probably read a book that says "You should give a F more than you do!" LOL. I know this helps me in times but it has hurt relationships too, so I've had to learn from it. Learn how to become a better LISTENER. Actually work at that skill. I did when I started having coffee with people after the last presidential election, who voted differently than me. I knew politics weren't going away and neither was social media, so I really wanted to do a sampling and LISTEN, CONNECT, UNDERSTAND (even if we don't agree), then figure out how to TREAT each other better. Figure out why I responded so passionately inside myself.
What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?
I feel like my favorite motto changes about every quarter or so based on what I'm experiencing or learning at the time. I got this from a recent online boundaries course (by Kay Bruner) ... "literally the only thing we can control is the way we love each other."
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
I'm proud to be a good friend, mom, wife, and granddaughter. I'm proud to love teenagers well just as they are. To create a safe space for them to explore their faith. To be fully themselves, to not fear to ask hard questions or uncertainties... to fear silence about those things instead. I wasn't comfortable with the title youth pastor at first but I am now. And still today I will Google the word pastor and then think... yes, I am spiritually guiding teens. I am a pastor.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in mud?
I'm not one to open up to many when I'm down but I can be vulnerable with a few close friends, and especially my mom and husband. The funny thing about Tommy (my husband) and me is we were head over heels in love and talked marriage early on but he was oddly practical about making sure I was going to be someone who would compromise and be a good teammate.
There's a story early on of me giving him an ultimatum to pick his rock band or me. And he called my bluff, which I wasn't used to, and he picked the band.
It was a humbling two day break up and I had to come groveling back and ask for help. And I think it shaped the tone of our marriage, in which we take turns leading each other. But it starts with creating space for each other to be vulnerable.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Listen to you gut. It's generally trying to tell you something. It could be Jesus.
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20 year old self?
You're doing the best you can with what you know right now.
Isn’t Shea amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to reach out squeeze her neck right now.
I am so grateful that she shared her story with us. So much hope and forward motion in it. I loved it!
I know you’ll want to connect with Shea, here’s how you can.
Facebook , Instagram, Austin New Church , Austin New Church Students on Instagram, Austin New Church Students on Facebook
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational and TEDx speaker , Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Weekly Wisdom Guide
Shine your brightest,
Labor, Jesus and Sarah. A thank you to my labor and delivery nurse.
On the evening of January 18th, 2017 I checked into the hospital. Baby #2 was on her way.
During labor for baby #1 a labor and delivery nurse told me, “Each baby has their own way of getting here.” She told me she thought we, (as laboring women), would have an easier time if we didn’t clutch onto our expectations for dear life. So the second time around, I heeded her advice.
At 7pm the hospital staff had a shift change and so my first nurse, Dala who was considerate and made sure to give me every comfort she could – even through the pokes and pricks – said goodbye and Sarah said hello.
Sarah and Dala
I labored without meds for 2 hours, got an epidural, labored for two more hours and pushed for FOUR minutes. Lightning fast compared to my first labor.
As soon as I pushed her out, they whisked the baby away from me because she was blue and purple because she had sucked in a lot of amniotic fluid. They worked on getting her risk free. I didn’t get to see her or hold her for a while.
At 12:53 am I gave birth to a healthy baby girl — and by 1:30 or so — a cloud started to loom over my hospital room.
While the baby was being taken care of, the doctors and nurses realized my placenta was not coming out and more severe measures were going to have to be taken.
The doctor explained the 2 or 3 procedures they would try before resorting to a C-section. I was losing blood and my placenta needed to come out. And for safety reasons, they needed to move me to an operating room just in case things went south.
So while my husband held our minutes old daughter, they transferred me onto a gurney and away I went.
As they rolled me out of the room – I locked eyes with my husband and told him I loved him and that I would be okay.
Sometime after delivering the baby and before I was wheeled away – I brought God close and I started to hum one of my favorite church songs. No words, just humming.
There is power in the name of Jesus
There is power in the name of Jesus
There is power in the name of Jesus
To break every chain, break every chain, break every chain
To break every chain, break every chain, break every chain
As they transferred me I hummed, as they wheeled me into the operating room, I hummed, as they took off my bra (for the just in case) — as they strapped my legs to stirrups, as they connected IVs to my arms, I hummed.
What actually happened in the O.R. is hazy. I remember the brighter than bright fluorescent lights and I remember seeing a large digital clock with red numbers. And I remember catching glimpses of the symphony of nurses, but I couldn’t see much else.
During the procedures they had my chest and torso WEIGHTED down with 20 pounds of white cotton blankets because my body was convulsing. It was like someone had unzipped my skin and the insides of my body were exposed to the icy temperature of the operating room.
Half way through the procedures, (one of which included a doctor sticking her entire forearm into me and rooting around for pieces of my placenta,) the doctor said, “It’s stuck, we’re going to have to try something else.” She reached for a serrated spoon and started to scrape this insides of my uterus.
She said, “This will cause fertility issues later.” “If this doesn’t work, we’ll get the hose.”
I said, “I’m losing blood, I can feel it.”
And I continued humming.
There is power in the name of Jesus. There is power in the name of Jesus.
“Yes you are and more blood is on the way for you.”
Minutes later I heard the doctor ask the nurse, “Where’s the blood?”
“We have someone at the door waiting for the blood – it’ll be right up.”
I knew I was losing blood because my vision started to go grey and I could feel my brain shutting down.
“Nope, no more energy for that.”
“Or that.”
“Or that.”
And then my eyes closed.
The doctors gave me a blood transfusion, scraped out my placenta and took me back to my original room. I convulsed for three hours in shock. My body could not stop shaking, trembling, my teeth chattering incessantly.
Once the convulsing stopped, I was transferred back to the bed I was in before. I was desperately thirsty, and someone brought me a plastic pink jar full of ice chips. I used the mirror directly in front of my bed and stared at myself eating ice chips until the ice chips were gone. I’m not sure where my mind went, but I was somewhere far away.
And a few hours after that, they brought in the baby to nurse. Because even though I had just been through major trauma, the baby needed to eat.
The next morning the doctors explained to me that I had hemorrhaged 50% of my blood.
The next day.
Sarah, my labor and delivery nurse, was absolutely my guardian angel that night.
Sarah! <3
I met her around 7:30pm. She walked in professional and kind. She asked what kind of labor we were shooting for – and she was open to all of it. We explained how we wanted a minimally invasive labor. And I told her that during my first labor I had staked my pride on not having an epidural — but that I was wiser now. (ha!)
During my four-hour labor Sarah watch intently, joked with me, helped me through contractions and was ultra-supportive.
And when things started to get serious – when I was wheeled into the OR- Sarah was the only person I “knew.” And even though I had only interacted with Sarah for 4 hours – she KNEW ME. She had seen me go from casual to in pain to in excruciating labor pain – she had seen me and helped me push a human out of my body AND she had seen things take a turn for the worse.
Sarah walked with me through the hospital halls from my labor room to the OR – she held my left hand the entire time and never left my side.
For as long as I had the energy – I hummed, There is power in the name of Jesus.
And at the point that I stopped humming because I just couldn’t anymore– Sarah leaned in and asked, “What song are you humming?” The only response I could muster was, “a church song.”
And then…
She took over humming for me.
I could feel her – holding my hand – giving me warmth – literally and figuratively.
I didn’t have the energy to hum with her but I could hear the hymn and in the midst of the chaos – I felt peaceful.
To Sarah, my labor and delivery nurse, thank you for investing in me and the life of my baby, thank you for your boundless heart, thank you for giving me strength and grace. I see how hard you work and what you do reverberates WELL beyond the moment – maybe even a lifetime, and I appreciate you. Sarah, during one of the holiest moments of my life – you were there with me – guiding me with ease – and for that, I thank you.
And to all labor and delivery nurses – we more than see you – we appreciate you and honor you and we thank you for pouring your hearts into our labors and our families. You change the world for the better.
Parts of this Blog were originally published on Austin Moms Blog
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence and Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Eva Sheie Kiser
Thanksgiving 2016. Just as my dad was about to say grace before Thanksgiving dinner, my sister’s baby girl Amelia threw her head back and smashed my sister’s lip with her head. My sister left the table with a fat, bloody lip. Later she told me she was really sad because she felt so alone in that moment knowing that neither I or our younger brother Rob would ever understand what it was like to have children.
My sister Maia, Amelia (the head-butter), me, and our mom Mary after Thanksgiving in 2016. Look closely and you can see Maia’s fat lip.
I was 40 then, flying every other week from Austin to work in Seattle. Having finally landed the best job of my life, my husband and I were traveling whenever and doing pretty much whatever we wanted to do. It probably looked like we had finally “made it.” But it felt really empty.
If it’s ok to have a favorite member of the Trinity, I’d like to admit I am a big fan of the Holy Spirit. In my life I have heard both the still, small voice and the yelling, sign-waving, dancing-banana-on-the-street-corner sign of the Spirit. All I can tell you is that in order to hear that voice, you first have to listen.
Sometimes my life choices were pretty kooky. I like to joke that the Spirit even tricked me a few times, starting in the middle of my senior year of college by calling me to apply to grad school in Texas by reconnecting me with a long-lost teenage music camp crush in Houston. My (I still think this was genius) plan was to get my parents to buy me a plane ticket to Houston to visit Rice University and see if it was an option for graduate school, then I’d meet up with the old flame from camp.
As I plotted and schemed, my heart changed and I found myself really caring about getting into Rice and not so much about the boy. And then somehow I got into Rice, and that was a miracle too because I showed up to audition for the viola program on the wrong date and they weren’t expecting me. The elusive professor Martha Katz just happened to be in her studio with nothing to do at the time I arrived. I played for her that afternoon, and she recommended me to the legendary Karen Ritscher, who accepted me sight unseen on Martha’s word.
I arrived in Houston on the 4th of July in 1998, with $800 in the bank and whatever I could fit in the car. My nine years in Houston were spent first in school, then scraping a living together with gigs, teaching viola lessons, and eventually a part-time job in medical marketing. The rest of my time was devoted to drinking and related activities where drinking was involved. During this time, I strayed a long way from who I was called to be, struggling through many dark experiences and destructive relationships.
I’d feel guilty and drag myself to Lutheran church a few times each year, but didn’t emerge from the drunken fog until I got hired for a gig with the praise band at River Pointe Church in Sugar Land. I would drive away after the gig laughing to myself and judging the people waving their arms during worship. It became a regular gig that I kept for years, and for the first time I was in a place where the Bible was the singular focus, not the traditions, the liturgy, the hymns, the choir, or my family legacy. It was here that my heart was changed and I finally understood that Jesus was calling me back home. He just had to trick me into getting there by paying me to do a regular gig.
I could feel a sea change coming. I felt antsy or nervous like I was waiting for lightning to strike. But I kept saying, I’m listening. Show me where you want me to go, even if it’s crazy.
In the summer of 2006, a very close friend got married in Wisconsin, so I flew up for the wedding. I met the bride’s cousin there, which developed into a long distance relationship. He was a professional musician in Seattle, he promised could get me hooked up with the good gigs if I moved up there, he had the whole family background thing going and pursued me relentlessly.
Eventually I dismantled my life in Houston, got rid of almost everything I owned and packed what was left into my car. He flew down to help me drive, and I sobbed as we left Houston on a stunning and bright Texas morning in February 2007. When we reached El Paso it was snowing sideways and I had come down with a fever and a nasty cold. He and I had never lived in the same place, so I had no idea until that day how he’d treat me when I was sick, and it was not good.
Looking out of a port-a-potty at the Grand Canyon during the move from Houston to Seattle. I look happy in this moment, but I was overwhelmed with grief for the life I left behind me. See how puffy my eyes are? I didn’t even take any photos of the Grand Canyon.
By the time we reached Salt Lake City on the third day, I was wearing headphones inside the car so I wouldn’t have interact with him. Once I got to Seattle, I had to stay at his home for a while and it was just miserable. I needed to find a place to live immediately, and again, a miracle happened. I found a 2-bedroom apartment on Alki Beach with a direct view of the water and picked up the job as the building manager, so my rent was only $650/month. When I tell Seattleites that story today, their jaws always hit the floor. You can’t rent a closet for $650 today.
The view from my Seattle apartment included a miniature Statue of Liberty. I lived about 50 yards from this spot. Here I learned that having a beautiful view or living in a cool neighborhood doesn’t make you happy. My feet were always cold and there were only 36 days of sunshine the first year I lived here.
That relationship fell apart within weeks. I was so flat broke from moving, I didn’t even have anything to sit on in my apartment. I was quite unhappy to find out that the beach was sleepy and quiet unless the weather was nice, and people weren’t generally outgoing or friendly. The “Seattle Chill” is real and doesn’t do any favors for introverts who are prone to seasonal depression. I just wanted to move home to Houston. I was so ashamed and embarrassed by my mistake that I lost my sense of self-worth.
That pull to go to Seattle had been so strong over the previous year that I never questioned it. I ignored every red flag in that bad relationship along the way. I had been so excited to start this new adventure, but instead my entire plan fell apart. I was angry. I was embarrassed. I asked, why did you bring me here, God? It didn’t feel like courage, it felt a lot more like foolishness.
I started practicing viola again and won some orchestra gigs. I worked hard to make friends and connect with people, but it wasn’t easy. I changed day jobs and took a big leap forward in my marketing career.
My favorite place on earth, looking out over Lake Travis near Spicewood.
In July, I went back to Houston to see friends and took a road trip up to Lake Travis with one of my longtime BFF’s Andrea. We rested, read books, hung out in the pool, and it felt good to be home. She made me pick myself up off the floor and forced me to reactivate my match.com account. I determined that my profile was much too interesting and deleted about 80% of it, leaving a description that essentially said “I like to go fishing and have fun.”
It was crickets for months, I got no messages. Eventually one guy wrote me a message about fishing. I didn’t see anything too exciting about his profile, but I also had no friends and nothing else going on, so I went with it. We talked on the phone a lot, and had some great conversations. He was a teacher, and I was raised by teachers so it felt normal. I made a lot of interesting excuses not to meet up, but it got to the point where it was weird not to so I generously offered to show up at 9pm on a Tuesday night after beach volleyball. I arrived at Applebee’s covered in sand and sweat with no makeup on, because that’s how much I cared about this first date. It was awkward and uncomfortable, so we went our separate ways and I thought, “I’ll never see that guy again.”
The location of our first date, a really classy joint with American cuisine that wasn’t too inconvenient on the way home from indoor beach volleyball.
By the end of that week I could not shake the feeling that I had really screwed that up, so I called him. We kept talking, and saw each other again. I asked him, “why do you keep calling me?” He told me to call him when I felt like talking.
It grew slowly from there. It wasn’t “perfect on paper” the way I had sized up and assessed every date I had ever been on before. He wasn’t Lutheran or tall or Norwegian. I swore I wouldn’t date divorced guys or guys with kids. I still smoked cigarettes back then and he swore he’d never date a smoker, and somehow he looked past it. I had no friends in Seattle and no money and not much else to offer. But it was in that deep darkness that the light started to shine.
Woodroe knew the bible. We could talk for hours and he never bored me. He loved his daughter mightily and his family was his primary social circle. He was thoughtful and kind to me. He had gone to college in Texas and wasn’t opposed to moving back someday. I was able to take him everywhere in my world, he’d go to orchestra concerts and to art exhibits, to dive bars and to upscale restaurants. He just fit and it was so easy.
Our first Seahawks game, where I realized I would have to become a Seahawks fan and move the Texans and Vikings to secondary positions in my heart.
We got married a year later and lived in North Bend, Washington until we moved back to Texas in 2013. Life in Washington was hard, we were house poor and depressed and I always knew in my heart that I wanted to be back in Texas. North Bend is a dark place 30 miles east of Seattle where the rain clouds get stuck against the mountains, where Twin Peaks was filmed and bizarre things happen in the woods. Our seven years living in the “Bermuda Triangle of Washington” were filled with many more challenges, blessings and victories, and is another blog post for another time.
It took courage to leave that life behind too. But Texas had my heart, and when my husband’s school permanently closed, the door swung wide open for us to make the move.
I had already moved across the country twice before, so I knew that all we had to do was get in the car and go.
In September 2017, we were blessed by the greatest joy of my life, our baby girl Kari. Her name (you know, like the babysitter’s name in The Incredibles) means “pure in spirit.” Seven months later, my brother and his girlfriend welcomed their baby boy, proving my sister’s Thanksgiving prediction wrong again.
My two great loves, Woodroe and Kari.
Only now in hindsight can I see how much courage it took to make these moves and what God’s marvelous plan was.
Courage starts with hope. You cannot hear if you don’t listen, and it’s in that place between hope and action that courage lives and propels us forward. It wasn’t about the courage I needed to become a wife or a mother. It was about finding the courage to listen to the Holy Spirit and having the faith to move forward even when the moves looked risky or crazy.
It is as simple as saying, “I’m listening.”
Essay by: Eva Sheie Kiser
To read more about Eva and stay in touch, click here.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Takisha Shelby
My name is Takisha Shelby, I was born and raised in Lubbock, Texas. The Lord blessed me to see 41 years this past 3rd of February. I'm very thankful for that.
Looking back over my life, I can see how the Lord has played a role in it the whole time. I have been through a lot my 41years living on this earth, but I give all the glory to none other than that man above my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
My story of becoming begins about 15 years ago, I was about 26 years old working two jobs. My full-time job at Lubbock Independent School District as a Special Education Teaching Assistant and my part-time job as a Food service worker. I was no stranger to hard work back then and still not to this day.
It was the weekend after working my full-time job I was at my part-time job. I had been dealing with a headache the whole day I thought it was a sinus headache. I had also gotten suspended the rest of the weekend from my part-time job because of some attitude issues I was having.
Only to find out it was all due to what was going on with me physically and medically.
I was supposed to go out that night but didn't due to my headache. I ate me something, thinking that would help but it didn't so I took me some allergy medicine, decided against going out and went to bed. I was awakened in the early morning hours by a bad headache. My head was hurting me so bad to the point I was crying.
The guy I was seeing at the time told my mom he was going to take me to the hospital, which he did. At the hospital, after running some tests and waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the doctors came out and told us what was going on.
By this time my mom had come up there, the doctors had told us that I had a tumor on my brain, in fact; I have several tumors on my brain(looking like little snowflakes all over my brain) but the one they were worried about was the one which was blocking the plumbing and was causing me to have the headache.
The doctor said that it was unusual because it had fluid around it, they would have to admit me into the hospital, go in and put tubes in my head to drain the fluid from my brain before they would be able to do the actual brain surgery to remove the actual tumor causing the problem.
So now, I'm about to be admitted into the hospital because the situation is serious.
They put the tubes in my head so that the fluid could be drained off my brain. A few days later they did the actual brain surgery. The surgery was supposed to take about 17 hours but ended up taking about 11 hours, but God.
Thinking back to that time, I know that the Lord was with me, because after the surgery I was able to see my mama for a few minutes and once I saw her although they had given me medication to sedate me I knew she was there and I was pretty much aware of everything going on around me.
I remember her telling me that she couldn't stay long, and she would see me later.
When she told me that I wasn't trying to let her go, they ended up asking her to leave so I could get some rest, giving me more medication so I could get me some rest.
About a week and a half later, I was out of the hospital on my way to recovery.
I can honestly say that if it wasn't for God bringing through that situation I wouldn't be here right to this day. I feel this more so now at this point in my life than I ever did before. It was by God's grace and mercy that I didn't have to have any therapy only a little speech therapy.
After the surgery because the area where it had occurred was affected, I wasn't able to form complete thoughts; leading us up to that point. After all that had taken place, look at God! Until now I never in a million years would have thought I would be where I am.
This was the beginning of my spiritual journey. I thank God daily that He has blessed me to see another day up to this point. I have always stood on His Word, in Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, which is my motto; and the basis of my faith.
It took me a while to move on after the surgery, thanks be to God!
It was only the summer that I was out of work, I was able to return to work at Lubbock Independent School District after that. Praise God!
If there was any advice I had to give to anyone going through this or someone who have gone through anything like this, it would be to hold on to your faith. Pray, pray, and if it still feels hopeless pray some more.
If there is one thing that I have learned throughout this whole experience it is this: Prayer changes things. I know that, without any doubt in my mind.
Just as I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me your readers too can do all things through Christ who strengthens them.
Essay by: Takisha Shelby
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Newsletter
The Courage to Become | Frances Saldivar-Morales
Sisters, you never know what kind of impact you are having. Keep doing good work, being kind, staying steady. We don't have to preach, or gather a following or have a fancy business to make a difference. Do what your heart calls you to do, and do it well. That is plenty. The universe will do the rest.
Tonight, I want to share a letter with you. This landed in my inbox in March and I've been waiting to share it with you - to shine a light on Frances ( tonight's author) and also to remind you that you matter and YOU DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
When I wrote The Courage to Become, I had no idea who I would impact, seriously. But the more days go by, the more I realize my experience and my sharing and truth have impacted women and families that I never would have imagined.
Enjoy Frances' story. It's one of challenge and courage, grace and triumph.
---
Catia,
It truly was a pleasure meeting you at the book signing on Saturday. I didn’t expect to be overcome with so many emotions when we spoke, but I appreciate your kind words, warmth, patience and suggestion to email you. This gives me an opportunity to share how your book made a difference in my life—almost breaking down in tears aside.
I graduated from WHS in 2002, and although we never crossed words, I recall you being an upperclassman and drum major when I was a pacesetter. I immediately recognized your face about a year ago while scrolling through Facebook. Being from the same small town, we have several mutual friends on social media and one of them must have shared your page re: Confidence Revolution. Faith and positive/inspirational/motivational content have been my guiding light and driving force through tough times.
“Outgoing,” a word no one would have used to describe me! Growing up, I had a few close friends, and standing out would have been mortifying. I just wanted to study and earn good grades to go to college and earn a degree—all of which I did, not standing out. In 2007, at the age of 23, I had a Master of Science in Communication Sciences and Disorders and began a career as a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) in my home town. I accomplished a lot, and before I knew it, I had a career that paid well enough to live a comfortable life and help my parents. As a first generation Mexican-American, my drive stemmed from my parents’ hope that their children would get an education greater than what they had the opportunity to accomplish.
From 2010-2013, I experienced symptoms that my doctors could not put their finger on: shortness of breath, significant fatigue, a dry cough that just wouldn’t go away, and eventually, I began spitting up traces of blood when I coughed. During that time, I underwent multiple chest x-rays, allergy tests, TB tests, took allergy medications and used inhalers to no avail. In the fall of 2013, my now husband and I experienced a miscarriage. I was 7 weeks along when it happened. I know they say you experience shortness of breath during pregnancy, but it usually occurs much later in the process. During those 7 weeks, I felt my shortness of breath intensify. Working as a pediatric SLP, depending on my patients’ abilities, I’d plop on the floor with them, jump around, or carry them from one location to the next if they were infants. I couldn’t understand why I needed to catch my breath so often, even when talking—because, hello, that’s my bread and butter as an SLP—so early in the pregnancy.
If we were going to try to get pregnant again, we needed answers about my lungs. My family doctor decided to send me to a pulmonologist to get a high-resolution CT of the chest. One week before Christmas, on December 18, 2013, we got the answer: Lymphangioleiomyomatosis (LAM). I felt overwhelmed with emotions: shocked, sad, scared, and RELIEF—I finally had an answer! I was 29 years of age.
Is it my true belief that God had other plans for me. I always had that tunnel vision—work hard, earn a degree, make a difference in children’s lives, work, work, work. My career was MY THING; I worked my butt off to get there! In 2014, my LAM diagnosis progressed from a ‘mild’ to a ‘moderate-severe’ stage. I experienced 2 back-to-back right-lung collapses, invasive lung surgery, chest tubes, was on supplemental oxygen 24/7, began taking the only medication that could potentially slow LAM progression, and began consulting with Houston Methodist Lung Transplant Center. I had to leave my profession--MY THING. I have undergone much emotional and physical pain, but through this, I have learned to push my limits and to "stand out" for a reason. I have further explored the things I never thought I could do. I’m not completely there in terms of putting myself out there, but I AM evolving. I think it was God’s way of saying that there is SO MUCH MORE out there. It’s unfortunate that sometimes, the only way we step back to REALLY appreciate life is when we go through life-changing experiences. You know how they say, “What advice would you give to your younger self?” I think a more gratifying way is to SHARE your experiences with others before they ever go through any negative experiences in hopes that they will grip to something in your story and use it as a life lesson.
In “The Courage to Become,” you talked about leaving your career, making less money, and feeling less powerful and scared. I completely related with that. Before leaving my profession, I earned more than my husband and not once did it ever make me feel “more than” him. In fact, I felt we were equal. We both had a career in the healthcare field—we met at work—and I never had to ask him for money, nor did he to me. I took pride in being able to pay MY car, MY student loans, etc. on my own. It took an emotional toll on me and much, much time for me to come to terms with the fact that WE are a partnership. No matter what the situation, we will have each other’s back. I too feel blessed with “the one” I chose and that he chose me too.
LAM took a lot from me, but it has also opened so many doors. I have found other passions, including yoga, reading, considering adoption, and being an active advocate for myself and others living with LAM. Since diagnosis, family and friends have helped me host two LAM Awareness 5K’s in the RGV, and all proceeds went to The LAM Foundation to help fund research for a CURE. I had the opportunity to speak to a large room of LAM patients, family/friends, researchers and clinicians about my LAM diagnosis and hope for a cure at a LAMpoisum conference. I became a LAM co-liaison for my region and am a source of support for newly diagnosed patients and all those living with LAM in my region. My co-liaison and I host annual regional meetings for patients, family/friends and the medical community. I make it a point to speak to others about LAM because it truly takes a village to make this rare disease known—which is why I shared the LAM pamphlet with you. The more people that are aware, the more likely we are to find undiagnosed women to share hope with. I also take part in LAM research at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) in hopes of finding other treatment options and a cure in the near future.
In Chicago as I shared my LAM story with patients/family/friends, clinicians, and researchers.
Approved by and Photo Credit goes to Kelsey Adams: K- Adams Foto Photography taken at LAMposium
Many have complemented me on my positive outlook despite the circumstances. The reality is, we all have it in us, we just have to choose. Sometimes, we’re just blind to all that is in us because we get so caught up in our lives. You and other writers/speakers continue to motivate me to LOVE and LIVE intentionally. After reading your book, although we never met, I felt like I knew you, and you were that friend that you can speak so openly to—hence why I practically wrote my life story in this email—oops! Your genuine, raw accounts of experiences encourage others to stay motivated. The way you spoke about sisterhood has a deep-rooted connection in my heart, because that’s what LAM women call each other, "LAM sister.” A sister is someone you love dearly and want the best for; you have a connection, a bond. I could feel the love your poured into this book, and the guidance and inspiration you wanted to impart on those reading it! Thank you for the prayer at the end of the book. May you truly know your life had a ripple effect on mine.
Best regards,
Frances Saldivar-Morales
To find out more about LAM you find them here, on their home page and on Facebook.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Aseky Bonnaire
“Everything happens for a reason”-says everyone when something unfortunate or inconvenient happens.
My name Is Aseky Bonnaire and I live for that quote. I’m a millennial mom raising three boys in Sunny Orlando Florida. I’m married to my high school sweet heart, and childhood crush. I like to think I have it all figured out, but I don’t, nor will I ever, but let a girl think she does haha. I guess I should go into depth more about myself. I met my husband when I was 11 years old and had THE biggest crush on him. We started dating when I was 15 and he was 16. We dated from sophomore year all throughout High School. We did homecoming dances, prom, graduation, the whole 9 yards.
After high school we both went to the local State College. After the first semester flew by, I decided, I love this college thing and I don’t want a baby to interrupt anything. I went to my OB to get a script for birth control, and that’s where I found out I was pregnant. Literally at that moment, it felt like my entire world caved in on me. I was just going to be another teen mom. I was going to live a hard life, I was never going to be able to be on my own 2 feet, and I would have to rely on my mom forever. After our family found out and all the initial shock went away, we actually got really excited to be bringing in a life into this world. Renaldo Jr (RJ) was brought into this world October 23, 2012. We were young, and didn’t know what the heck we were doing, but we knew we had each other and we wanted the best life possible for him. Throughout my entire pregnancy I stayed in school, and even a week after delivering I was going in to take mandatory tests. Renaldo (my boyfriend at the time, now husband) landed a good job, making decent money (for a 20 year old) in customer service (he still works there BTW).
We moved out of my Mom’s house when RJ was 7 months old. We moved into a townhouse 100% on our own. We saved up as much as we could from Renaldo working 5 days a week, 50+ hours, all while I was in school full time. We felt like ‘we made it’. I don’t know if you remember how it felt when you first moved out on your own, whether it was college, or when you got married, but it’s an indescribable feeling. Shortly after moving I got my first “big girl” job at the hospital working in finance. Because of that job, I took a break on school, but also because of that job, we could afford more things outside of bills. When RJ was 11 months old, Renaldo bought me an engagement ring and asked me to be his wife. For the next 12 months we planned our dream wedding, I switched departments at work so I could be home more, bought our first brand new car and went on a bachelorette/ bachelor cruise. Our wedding came and it wasn’t short of perfect. All of our childhood best friends were there, and it was just a great time with great people.
Shortly after our honeymoon we got pregnant with our 2nd son. My husband got promoted (this was his 4th promotion within the 3 years) but It was that pregnancy that I found my love for blogging, and connecting with other women via Instagram. That’s when I discovered the power of a hashtag LOL! Good pregnancy overall. He was born June 17, 2015. We brought him home to our little 2 bedroom townhouse. We knew we wanted to move into something bigger, but never thought we would be able to buy a house. Come on, we were only 22/23 years old. While on maternity leave, I got bored and saw an ad that went something like “you can have a mortgage as low as your rent!” so I called that number, one thing lead to another, obstacle after obstacle, few months went by, and we became homeowners. Shortly after becoming homeowners, I got pregnant with our third (totally not planned, I was breastfeeding. So FYI Breastfeeding IS NOT BIRTHCONTROL. It doesn’t work. Joel is proof haha) but he’s such a blessing and the perfect addition to our family. We literally brought him into the world in that home (no, seriously, I delivered him at home with no one but my husband and kids present). And now we are currently renovating the house from the floor up.
Not only were we home owners, we became homeowners at 22 and 23 year olds, with 2 kids, in the city where we both grew up, completely on our own, and not living up to the stereotype people categorized us in. There is such a negative stigma with being a teen mom. People automatically assume you’re going to live a hard and tough life. While YES, it was hard having a kid at 19, yes there were times we had no clue how we were going to put gas until the next paycheck, but did it stop us, NO! I feel that so many young moms and teen moms automatically categorize themselves and determine their future before they even give themselves a shot at anything.
Having a super supportive (emotionally and financially) partner plays a HUGE role in all of this. Renaldo and I are a team. We’re in this together. We grew up and matured together, and at the same pace, so we were always on the same page when it came to goals that we wanted to achieve. Buying a house is definitely not my ‘I made it’ moment, nor will it come from anything materialistic.
My ‘I made it’ moment came in motherhood. Because RJ, my husband worked for that amazing job he has. Because of RJ, I found my purpose. I know that being home with my kids is where my heart found a home. When I had no friends (because all my friends are normal, and have kids at a regular age) I found comfort in the community of the women of the blogging, and social media world. Making connections with other moms from all walks of life, different backgrounds, all ages, is where I found my niche. Blogging and sharing my life with other teen moms is where I found sense of belonging.
It’s amazing when something is for you, it just falls into place. When I told my husband I wanted to get back into blogging, literally opportunity after opportunity rolled in. It’s like God patted me on my back, placed the right words in my heart, and whispered, “This is for you. Share your life, share your experiences, be a light where someone is in darkness. You got this boo!”.
I know this was a lot to read, but a girl got a lot to share! I’m so thankful for crossing paths with Catia, and being able to share my story with you all! Thanks for reading and remember; whether you’re a teen mom or not, everything happens for a reason. What may feel like the end of the world is potentially a blessing in disguise.
I call this, Becoming: Not another stereotyped teen mom.
Be sure to keep up with Aseky on her web site, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Emily B. Cummins
Four years ago, I decided to put permanent ink on my body. What I didn’t know back in 2012 was that those eight little letters inscribed on my wrist would become the anthem of my life and spark something remarkable in those around me as well.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted everything to be perfect. My hair just right. My childhood ballet routines beautifully performed down to the last move. My high school backstroke technique flawless. Perfect A+ grades, never missing an assignment, not even thinking twice about getting a detention. Getting into the right colleges. Choosing the right career. Finding the perfect guy. Making the best of friends. Showing the world I’ve got it.
You know, that it factor that everyone seems to want.
But, in tear filled frustration, I always seem to come up short in comparison to the world’s standards.
Not pretty enough. Not the star swimmer on the high school swim team. Not the valedictorian of my class. No handsome stud on my side. No group of BFFs I share all of my deepest, darkest secrets with. It’s like perfection just wouldn’t come—no matter how hard I tried.
And that’s when it hit me.
I will never be perfect. I wasn’t created to reach perfection.
God created me exactly as He wants me to be—and in His eyes, I am perfectly made. Psalm 139 confirms that. He created me to love and embrace this grand adventure called life; the problem was—and is—that when I was striving so hard to reach what I deemed as “perfection,” I couldn’t truly live.
The words of Deuteronomy 30:11-14 are empowering me with the truth that I CAN do what God commands me to do. I don’t need to have anyone else explain it to me, teach it to me, or tell me to do it. Obeying God is up to me. I just have to do it, I just have to choose to be who God made me to be. Following verse 14, God lays out some life altering, eye-opening words that can’t help but grip me:
“Look at what I’ve done for you today: I’ve placed in front of you Life and Good, Death and Evil. And I command you today: Love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments, regulations, and rules so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God, your God, in the land you are about to enter and possess.”
(Deuteronomy 30:15-16, the Message)
Live exuberantly. Really live.
I want that. I want to live free of the distractions of wanting to win popularity contests. Free from fighting so hard to be perfect. Free from avoiding messy, real, authentic relationships. Free from being so afraid of getting hurt. Free from trying to avoid failure so intensely. Free from striving to win the approval of others. Free from the icy grip of shame. Free. Free to LIVE.
Each of us are on a journey. Our stories are being written day by day and I believe our stories have the potential to really do something, to change the world. But only if we let them.
It really boils down to one thing: who will I trust to write my story? Me or God?
Perfection screams, “Choose me! Choose me! Only I can control how everything turns out.” But the kind of living Deuteronomy 30 shares whispers the truth, “Choose God. He IS life. If you choose Him, you choose life.” When I choose to open my hands and release my grip on false control, I’m no longer striving to “do” anything; I’m simply “being” in His presence, trusting Him to “do” for me that which only He can do.
I am becoming, becoming who God made me to be.
Each day a page of my story is being written into the threads of time and being woven into the very fabric of who I am. As I stand looking at the pages before me, I’m making a daily decision to choose to embrace this grand adventure called life and to trust the God who created me in the first place to continue to write the story of Emily. I am choosing to be her.
One of my favorite quotes from Shauna Niequist explains it this way: “This season is about becoming…walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe God is good & life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.” (Shauna Niequest, Bittersweet)
And that is why I chose to have “becoming” tattooed to my wrist. Every single time I look at my left hand, I’m reminded that life is a grand adventure. I’m reminded that the pursuit of perfection isn’t what God created me for. I’m reminded that I am made perfectly in Christ. I’m reminded to trust Him to write my story. I’m reminded to live exuberantly. But, most importantly, I’m reminded to embrace becoming me.
And from where I stand today in 2017, this idea of “becoming” is permeating everything I do and has sparked a movement of women around the world through BecomingMe.TV.
It’s embedded in my writing, ingrained in my thoughts, and interwoven in my conversations with those around me. It’s taken root in the reason why I get out of bed every morning and the hope I hang on to when the rain clouds come. Its my passion, my heart’s cry, my word.
I see women around me becoming who God made them to be too. I see them courageously battling life’s struggles and risking loving people who just might not love them back. I see them trying, setting aside the fear of failure and running towards incredible victory. I see life change. I see redemption. I see courage. I see becoming.
My battle cry is to invite women on the personal and courageous journey of becoming who God made them to be. That’s why I turn off my alarm clock and get out of bed each morning. That’s why I write. That’s why I dream. That’s why BecomingMe.TV exists, partnering with women as they’re becoming who God made them to be too through Blog Series, Becoming Stories, and Events. In becoming me, I see those around me becoming too and can’t help but be inspired and encouraged on the journey.
This journey isn’t just mine. We are all becoming and I want to invite you to join me. It’s time we lace up our boots, throw fear and perfection into the wind and live fully. Let’s be who God made us to be. Together, let’s become.
Essay by: Emily B. Cummins
Guys, don't you want to go see Emily in person? ME TOO!!!!!! She is doing big, huge things to remind us that we are loved just as we are and that we were made perfectly. God didn't overlook qualities when he knitted us together - we have all that we need to live our lives well, richly and full of love and purpose. Thank you, Emily!!!!!
Emily’s Instagram: Emily’s Twitter: Emily’s Facebook:
BecomingMe.TV Website: BecomingMe.TV Instagram: BecomingMe.TV Twitter: BecomingMe.TV Facebook:
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Angela Lally
Tonight we are so happy to be featuring Angela Lally. She shares a wonderful, uplifting word. I know her trust in the Lord will inspire you!
What was your first job?
My first job after college (well, after working at a summer camp!) was in Communications and Public Relations.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
What I'm doing now! Haha But really, ever since I discovered I had a natural knack for photography in high school, I dreamed of somehow doing it full time, but I always thought that it wasn't possible for me to actually make a living doing just photography. Thankfully, the Lord had bigger plans for this talent He's given me and lined up numerous circumstances and opportunities to lead me to where I am today: Two years of running my photography business full time!
How did it feel getting started?
A bit nerve-wracking, freeing, and exciting, all at once! I knew this was where the Lord was leading me, so I was comfortable with the "uncomfortableness" of it and from the beginning trusted my business to Him. Ultimately, I know that despite any efforts I make on my own, any accomplishments, all the hours put into it, it is all His. He is the one that gives and provides, and I am so thankful that He's continued to do so in a way that allows me the gift of doing what I love as a career.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started.
One of the biggest obstacles I faced after figuring out that I one day wanted to quit my full time Communications job to run my business full time was being in between both of those things: Knowing that at the time I needed that job and trying to be present and fully there after knowing that it wasn't what I wanted to do forever.
I did learn through that process that when the Lord is ready for you to move on, he makes it CLEAR.
My initial plans were to go full time into photography in two years... two months later, that turned into me planning on leaving at the end of that year, which then turned into me leaving on a Friday and giving my two weeks notice on Monday. Looking back, I can recognize that a lot of that was Him getting me to the point of trusting him FULLY with providing and not depending on my savings account as a safety net. Since making the transition to full time, He has grown my business and given me favor in ways that I never would have imagined and faster than I could have hoped.
My verse for my business from day one has been Psalm 16:5: "The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot." It reminds me to trust the Lord's provision and to be satisfied with whatever He gives, however he choses to (or not to) give it.
What keeps you motivated?
I absolutely LOVE the idea of getting to capture people's genuine personalities and relationships in a photographs!! Apart from knowing the Lord, people and the relationships we have with them are the most important thing in the world. To be able to capture that in a tangible photograph is such a gift. Photographs can communicate so much more that we can say with our words and can open eyes to see things that may have otherwise been missed. I've seen senior girls recognizing that they ARE pretty for the first time after seeing an image on the back of my camera. I've captured cherished moments for clients with family members that are no longer here. I get to witness and document marriages of couples who have said the MOST important thing on their wedding day is that God is glorified. And as long as the Lord wills, I will keep capturing as many of these moments and people that I can.
Which living person do you most admire?
My mom - 100%. Throughout all of the crazy circumstances she has been through in her life, she has remained steadfast in trusting the Lord and having faith in Him to do what He has said He will and to be who He has promised He is. I don't know anyone else who has a stronger faith than she does.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I would LOVE to be able to play the piano!! I know a little bit from friends teaching me / YouTube videos here and there, but I don't actually own one... so I guess I need to fix that first! Perfect pitch would be a fun one too!
What is your most marked characteristic?
Apart from photography, I think my friends and family would say my relationship with the Lord. Or that I am friendly and "sweet." :)
What is your motto?
The past four years have been some hard ones. There have been a lot of transitions, uncertainties and circumstances that I wasn't expecting, and Lord has kept bringing me back to the first few verses of Psalm 37:
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act... Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him..."
These verses have been a "home base" for me the past few years and have helped ground me and remind me where to stay focused when I was uncertain of everything else.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Owning and running my own business for two years full time, for sure! Another one would be growing to a point where I could hire my mom to work with me.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
Only the Lord. When I get overwhelmed, stressed or anxious, it's most likely because I'm not fully trusting Him, I'm placing more value on things that ultimately aren't as important as what He has placed in front of me to care for, or for whatever reason I'm struggling with trusting where He's leading when I can't see the next step. Spending time with Him and in the Word keep me grounded.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Trust the Lord's hand at work in your life and HIS timing. Also, be faithful where He has you with what He has placed in front of you to care for. Don't try to rush ahead or just wish away the hard seasons... those are often the ones I have learned the most about His character in. It sounds cliche, but keep the main thing (Him) the main thing, and keep trusting Him with the rest -- even if it's over and over every day. He's patient with us, His plans are greater, and He will never fail.
Angela's words and trust in God are inspirational and frankly - peaceful. Her words remind me that God's got it under control and we just have to trust.
She is seriously beyond delightful and I know you'll want to follow her journey!
You can find Angela here on her web site, Angela Lally Photography and on Facebook and Instagram.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Carrie Maddux
Becoming A Mom
I always wanted to be a mom. I have often said that I felt my calling in life was to be a mom. I did not know how else to explain it.
In 2012, we welcomed our first baby girl. Although words couldn't describe my happiness, I was also plagued with postpartum blues, exhaustion, and adjusting to our new normal. Seriously, where are the parenting classes that teach you real life scenarios?
Once I settled into my new role as a stay at home mom, I realized it can be a bit isolating. There I was with everything I could possibly want. It was perfect on paper. Stay at home mom, loving husband, a healthy & beautiful newborn, but I felt alone on most days. So, I began to search for ways to get involved and have adult interaction.
Becoming an Austin Moms Blog Contributor
I quickly became a huge fan of Austin Moms Blog and followed their blogs from day one. I admired those women for being raw and sharing their real life mom moments. I noticed an open contributor call on Facebook one day and decided to apply for it. I always found writing to be very cathartic and thought this would be the perfect opportunity to do something for myself. Fortunately, they invited me to be a contributor and I had no clue how it would impact my life. Writing gave me a purpose and I quickly gained a new “village” of women to call my friends.We welcomed our second baby girl in 2014 and I did not experience any of the postpartum blues or isolation like I did the first time. Having a purpose and a village truly makes a difference!
Becoming My Stronger Self
In early 2016, my husband went through a transition with his job and it pushed us close to rock bottom. I can say with every ounce of my being that our love for one another is unbreakable after going through that obstacle together. We both admitted that going through a tough transition and losing your main source of income can create a lot of stress on a marriage and your family unit. Money doesn’t make you happy, but it definitely makes life easier. We learned to lean on each other and our faith.
Even when times get tough, you still have to show up and be a parent. You still have to pretend like everything is okay because my two and four year old need me. Life lessons have a way of knocking you to your knees and allowing you to stand up stronger than ever before. I did not let many people know about our situation. I am the usual smile and say everything is good type person; however, I remained sane thanks to my village.
See the common theme here?
My friends will tell you that I kept begging for a sign. I needed God to plant that sign in my front yard in big bold letters. “Let Go and Let God” was my motto. In June 2016, we relocated to Oklahoma for a job opportunity. I cried many nights about losing my village and starting over again. It wasn't just my husband and myself starting over. We now had two young girls that were going through this with us, however; it was the “sign” and fresh start we prayed over. We survived a big move with two toddlers and settled into our new home.
Like I mentioned above, I always said my calling had something to do with being a mom, but I did not know why. I began searching for a local blog similar to Austin Moms Blog, but could not find anything.
I so desperately wanted to find a resource in our new city, but kept coming up short. That is when I decided to purchase and start Tulsa Moms Blog. I have been known to be impulsive at times, but this was taking a huge leap out of my comfort zone. Writing behind a computer is one thing, but owning my OWN business? It was exhilarating and nerve racking at the same time.
Starting Tulsa Moms Blog allowed me to connect moms on and offline in our community and provide a positive resource for moms in all stages of life. I was getting ready to launch the blog and we got some bad news about my husband’s new job. Yes, we relocated our entire family for this job. I’ll spare you all of the details, but Tulsa turned into one big disaster. We lost our main source of income AGAIN, we made an investment into my new venture, and barely moved into our new home. We decided we had nothing to lose at this point and my husband applied for his dream job in Waco, TX.
Waco has always been near and dear to our hearts, so it wasn’t as spontaneous as it might come across. After a month, we decided to write it off and focus our attention to more local jobs. Then, on a random Thursday afternoon he got the call. They wanted him to come in and apply for the position. We finally had a glimmer of hope and words cannot express our happiness when they hired him!
I put Tulsa Moms Blog on hold and we relocated to Waco last month.
Since moving to Waco, God has clearly planted all of the signs here. That large sign in big bold letter that I was praying for is planted here. I have never been tested this much to rely on the cliche phrase “God will always provide”, but he does indeed.
Mamas let me tell you, having your spouse or partner truly HAPPY with his career is life changing in itself.
While Tulsa Moms Blog did not ever come to fruition, be on the lookout for Waco Moms Blog.
I am proud to be a part of City Moms Blog Network and passionate about connecting local moms together.
At the end of the day, you cannot teach adaptability and my girls showed me tremendous grace this past year. They pushed me to be a stronger version of myself and accept challenges head on. I look back on my younger self who once felt like an isolated new mom and cannot help but laugh. Although that is how I felt at the time, I had no idea the wild ride I would be on years later. Everything truly happens for a reason.
Cheers to 2017!
Essay by: Carrie Maddux
You can connect with Carrie on Instagram , Facebook and at Waco Moms Blog
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Erin Ruoff
Tell us a little bit about yourself:
I'm Erin and I came to Austin at almost 6 years ago to get out of the little bubble I was living in. I needed some “weird” in my life and boy, does Austin dish it out. Within five years here I years got hitched, moved to the burbs and had a baby. A quick 5 years! I'm a mom and agency owner by day and a blogger by night. My day normally consists of a Starbucks caramel macchiato, chasing the little chunk around the house, managing to help run an advertising agency and manage a household, followed by some home-cooked food, and then finishing off the day with the Bachelorette, netflix or a movie.
My blog Hi Lovely is a place to share outfits, babies, treats and travels. Focused on photography, fashion and greater well-being of this new mama's life. You'll find me easily seduced by a lovely cup of coffee, a well designed hand bag or a margarita. I might be covered in baby poop one day and diamonds the next. Thus the life of a mom who blogs.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I’ve always dreamt of having a boutique or successful fashion blog. I yearned over the gorgeous photos of Blair Eadie and A Beautiful Mess. I would spend my breaks running a boutique (for an awful company) and just longed to have a blog like theirs – so full of life and fun. Thankfully my husband helped me pick a name, bought the domain and I started by taking pictures outside work. Nothing fancy but it felt right!
How did it feel getting started?
It was scary. I lost my job a month or so after I started the blog. I got fired, y’all. And I was scared. Scared of what I was going to tell my parents. Scared of what my husband would say. Being laid off for giving my mom a “friends and family discount.” A discount that was sewn into the company culture. I was devastated. I sat on the ground of our rental and “let go and let God.” I prayed for answers, guidance and strength. That day my husband offered me a piece of the advertising agency he owned and I got off the floor and started blogging.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started blogging?
Lots of obstacles: time management, maintaining a regular posting schedule, taking quality pictures, etc. etc. But the biggest thing was self esteem. I worried so much about what others would think of me posting photos of myself. I’m no model nor to I pretend to be and I didn’t want people to think that’s what I was doing. I really just love playing dress up and putting together outfits. I had to get over that and it took a while. I love who I am and the outfits I put on. I hope that my “friends” see that and those that don’t can unfollow me.
What motivates you to be a life and style blogger?
My blogger friends in the mommy and style business are so motivating. They just show that the industry of fashion is changing from fashion shows and glorious magazine ads to fashion bloggers of all shapes and sizes. They radiate happiness, yet are so real and are able to blog full time. It’s an amazing feeling to get your first big client that sees who you are and wants you to showcase their brand. I know God had plans for me to do something creative and I think this is it.
Which living person do you most admire?
My dad. He’s had hard times and worked his life to the top of the newspaper business only to be laid off due to the demise of the industry. He got back up at 50 and got a great job. Though it might not be his passion, he persevered and didn’t let the age statistics of unemployment get him down. He’s the greatest grandfather to my son. Though we don’t see eye to eye on politics, we still are able to have rational conversations and I love that about him. He also taught me to love sports, writing and photography. It pretty much runs in our blood.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Singing. I’m terrible. And the natural ability to talk on camera. I get this weird girly, high-pitched voice when the red light comes on. I don’t know how to stop….
What is your most marked characteristic?
I’m a very loyal friend. Once you have me in your tribe, I’m a lifer.
What is your motto?
Let go and Let God. And my funny one “Hi Lovely!” (You automatically smile saying it.)
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Being a Social Media Director of a million dollar ad agency, running social media for Austin’s largest parenting resource and getting off my feet when I hit rock bottom to accomplish those two things.
What are some hopes you have for your future?
I’d love to make an honest living from blogging. Although our agency is our main income, it’d be nice to have a second income so we can tuck a little more away and start really contributing to charities around town.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
“Let go and let God” guide you to your blogging journey. Don’t let self-esteem, nay-sayers or competitors get you down. Trust in Him to see the value in YOU and what YOU are doing. Don’t be afraid to “pitch” a companyeven if you have small numbers. Do spend time growing your audience and engaging with your followers. And don’t EVER let it be chore! Have fun.
Essay by: Erin Ruoff
It seems like BECOMING the woman you were meant to be isn't easy for anyone! Each one of our roads has speed bumps and turns and sometimes outright blocks! But as Erin showed us, it's possible to get up and RISE.
Thanks, Erin!!!
You can find Erin at Hi Lovely and on Instagram and Facebook.
love!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Crystal Ngumezi
The Courage to Become Set Apart
I had the courage to become set apart back in 2014, but allow me the opportunity to share with you how I got there:
I’m a Texas native with a Nigerian background. You don’t hear that often, now do you? I was born and raised in Houston, TX with a Nigerian upbringing; both my parents are from the country of Nigeria in West Africa, making me a product of immigrants. Growing up in Texas with Nigerian roots made for a very interesting childhood experience, one that I feel shaped me into the woman I am today. I learned that being different was okay, and that being different made me stronger and more qualified for the life that God had set up for me. My parents taught me that discipline and hard work would serve me well in the future, and as a young business-minded individual today, I can honestly say that it has.
Growing up, I always had a knack for mathematics and creativity, so when I was about 17 years old, I made the decision to pursue Mechanical Engineering as an undergraduate degree. In 2013, I received my B.S. in Mechanical Engineering from the University of Texas at San Antonio. During my undergraduate experience at UTSA, I was able to travel the country and intern for various companies during my summer breaks. After graduation, I received the opportunity to work for a notable fortune 500 company in Fort Worth, TX, as a manager in training, where I later became a full-time technical manager. In my young career, I’ve had the privilege of serving in 2 different managerial positions for 2 different companies. However, I can’t attribute my professional success to my own deeds. It has truly been the work of God moving in my life that provided me with these various opportunities to build my professional portfolio at such a young age.
With all of this being said, back to 2014, where my real story began:
In 2014, I made the radical decision to quit my day job and move back home to Houston, TX. I made this decision in order to pursue my purpose and to follow Christ. Sounds pretty crazy huh? Not quite.
At the time, I was doing pretty well for myself in my career. The money I earned was great, the benefits were awesome, and I was well taken care of as a younger employee.
So you might be left asking, “Why did you quit then?” Well, I’m happy you asked. The problem was that while working in my career, I experienced many internal struggles.
It was like I was at war with myself. I knew that God had a great calling on my life, but I didn’t know how my job and career at the time lined up with that calling. This internal war I experienced on the inside, along with many other battles I was facing simultaneously, led me into a state of mental depression. I literally became sick as a direct result of not following my purpose. I thought I would have been able to cope with this mental illness, but as I continued my work in that field, my depression became worse, and my desire to leave became stronger. When my depression started to affect my work, I knew I had a very important decision to make.
I knew the cause of my illness, and I knew it was severe. What I didn’t know was how I was going to make the critical decision to quit my job, and ultimately to leave my career. What made this decision even harder for me was that due to my success as a training manager, my job offered me a high raise and promotion. Talk about a test! Despite this tantalizing offer, I made the ultimate decision to decline and resign as a manager at that company. I chose to follow God’s will for my life and walk away from my career.
This was not an easy decision to make.
Moving back home was not in my plans - but it was in God’s plans. My friends and family were all in awe of my decision, but I knew that God was leading me. Despite the opposition I faced as a direct result of this decision, I had the courage to become Set Apart.
In The Bible, the term “set apart” means to be separated from what is common and deemed normal - to be chosen. The decision I made to leave what was familiar to me demanded my total surrender to what God had planned for me. I didn’t understand what I was walking into back then, but I knew that my life was radically about to be changed forever.
Now I know that for some of you reading this story, you may find the decision I made to quit my job quite questionable. It was a drastic move, but as a believer, I can truly attest to the fact that the decision I made back in 2014 saved my life.
Jesus saved my life, and he healed me from my mental depression.
Back in 2014, I made the decision to no longer live for myself, but instead to live for God and his purposes for my life. Through my radical obedience to God’s will, I found my true identity in Christ, and I experienced supernatural healing on multiple levels.
One of those levels being my mental health. The healing process I experienced as a direct result of following God’s will was not an overnight thing; God led me out of a state of depression and fear, and into a state of peace and serenity, through months of restoration. Because of my depression, I had forgotten what it was like to live free and victorious. The one thing I had put all of my trust and energy into - my mind, my smarts, and my intelligence - had ultimately failed me. I didn’t see a doctor, and I wasn’t prescribed any medication - God healed me. After God healed my mind, he began to heal my spirit, and ultimately the rest of my body.
In 2015, I began my spiritual walk with the Lord, and encountered various tests and trials along the way. I had my experience of dead ends, faulty relationships, and disappointments, all in an effort to show and to teach me how to follow Jesus the correct way. I’ve had my fair share of bumps and bruises along this journey, but God has always been in my corner cheering me on. He never gave up on me and he always encourages me to keep on fighting. When I would experience situations targeting my fleeting depression in the past, he would come through for me in ways I can’t even tell you. I am now learning how to trust and depend on God in every way. Due to the tests and trials I have experienced, I can honestly say that I have become a stronger woman and an ambassador of Faith.
And today I am joyful and blessed to be here. I can truly attest to the fact that God is faithful, and that He rewards those who diligently seek him. I’m still young and in my prime, but I can truly say that God has begun a good work in me. I can see the fruits of his work. He uses me to mentor young women, and to minister to people I would have never met otherwise. I’m now mentally, spiritually, and physically healthy, and I have peace in my life - not a worldly peace - but the peace that surpasses all understanding.
Whatever you are going through and whatever season you are in, know that God has a plan for you. He had a plan for me, and I would have never found it had I not sought his will. Don’t let fear rob you of experiencing and enjoying a great, purpose-filled life. It’s never too late to make the decision to follow Christ.
My hope in sharing my story with you is that you will take what I have experienced, and use it as fuel to activate your own personal desires to live in the life that God has called you to. I pursued purpose and it changed my life.
Thanks for reading, and God bless you.
Essay by: Crystal Ngumezi
From Crystal:
I have a blog on my online website, crystalngumezi.com, that I use to encourage people to live healthy lives, offering healthy recipes and ways to easily prepare them, along with posts encouraging women to live in the fullness of the Proverbs 31 woman, and informative tips for people pursuing purpose.
I also publish weekly devotionals on my other website, lifeloveandinspirationblog.com, where I teach Christians about Jesus, spreading The Gospel.
Apart from my personal websites, I’m a freelance writer on MyTrendingStories.com, where I write articles relating to business, news and technology. I’m also working on a non-profit organization for young women, which will provide them with professional mentorship and professional development training, scheduled to launch next year.
You can follow me on all social media platforms @crystalngumezi, and follow and like my Facebook page @CrystalNgumeziBlog.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Ginna Mares Villarreal
The Courage to Trust the Final Outcome
Hello All! I want to start off by thanking my sweet friend Catia for letting me be a part of her blog! I remember meeting her for the first time at my salon a while back and when she left I just sat there telling my stylist, she has to be one of the most genuine kind-hearted people I know, but by reading her blog I’m sure you already know that! I love meeting people that leave me with a smile.
My name is Ginna Villarreal and I am a blogger, wardrobe stylist, owner of The Dry Room salon, By Maxwell luxury boutique, owner of a social media company as well as a property tax business but most of all a wife and mother to two crazy little toddlers!
It’s not every day that I type out what I do because just thinking about it is exhausting and I just “do what I gotta do” day in and day out without thinking of the madness! I must get that from my mama.
I was raised in a single-parent home and I saw my mom hustle and grind relentlessly every single day to provide for my brother and I. She was a teacher in my early childhood days and around junior high she would get up and work all day and do night school while getting her Master’s degree.
I remember my brother dividing up the house chores in the evening while my mom went to school. He would say “you make the sandwiches and I’ll do the mac n’ cheese,” we didn’t want her worrying about us.
Later on she went on to get her PhD and we look back at those times and I can’t ever remember her complaining or stressing. She just did her thing.
I could use a little more of her patience, but she sure did show me what it was to get things done.
One thing I was afraid of doing but did anyway was….
One thing I was afraid of doing before owning The Dry Room & By Maxwell was trusting the process of a bigger plan.
All my life I have been a God fearing woman and I knew that I was destined for something….I couldn’t put my finger on it but I knew God had something in store for me that not even I would be prepared for.
After getting married & opening up one of my first businesses I remember thinking “there has got to be more than this”. This business is great, I have amazing clients but I’m missing something. Something isn’t feeding my soul.
An opportunity opened up at our local Boys & Girls Club and I told my husband, it doesn’t pay much, I’m not doing it for the money I’m doing it because I believe there’s a child or two whose life I may touch and I’m applying!
I worked at the Boys & Girls Club for two years and it was one of the most rewarding jobs I have ever had. I mentored our staff, and spoke to our kids about goals and hard work and achieving them. I let them know that they didn’t have to be a statistic, and that they didn’t have to be a victim of their circumstance.
After all, I knew what it was like to come from a single family home and have a father incarcerated. (By the way, I’m not quite sure people are aware of how many children’s parents are in the jail system in the RGV! It’s mind blowing, but we will save that for another day as my eyes get cloudy and a lump forms in my throat.)
After some time passed a Director position opened up. My getting the job was a given. I was next in line, I had done so much for the club, I along with our staff had just done an entire revamp of the club, and I couldn’t wait to get that call.
Well, the call never came.
I cried, I cried and cried. How could this happen!? It’s so strange that as I type this it feels like it was just yesterday, the pain was literally that bad. It was my husband who reminded me “Aren’t you the one who always says God is always working behind the scenes in your life. You did everything in your power and left that place better than you found it, maybe it’s time to move on.”
So I did. I moved on with a broken heart but like they always say, time helped me heal.
During my healing process, I immersed myself into my fashion blog. My Instagram and social media channels began to grow and companies started to take notice. I knew I was onto something when everyday was like Christmas. Packages of bows, blankets, dolls and clothing for Mia (our oldest daughter) and me were stuffed in our mailbox. Mia was one of the first little toddlers that the Kardashians sent clothing to -- and that was a total trip!
Later, local businesses began to contact me to handle their social media accounts and the business woman in me decided to take on clients! While doing so, I was still trying to find my next venture. What to do? I have always enjoyed making my own schedule, so I knew I would have to open another business to keep the freedom I loved so much!
I have always had a big-city mentality and loved big-city concepts so I told my husband I wanted to open a blow-dry bar and a boutique together. Blow dry bars were a hit in New York and Los Angeles and the good ‘ol Rio Grande Valley (The south most point in Texas) had not jumped on it yet! We went looking at locations, I was obsessed with the historic area of McAllen and Main Street. (Think historic buildings, paved sidewalks and quaint parks.) Finally, I found a corner location with a retro vibe feel, it was PERFECTION.
Lo and behold in the middle of getting a business plan together for my husband to take a look at, I get THAT call. My friend wanted me to help her with her public relations and social media for her new business, you guessed it…a blow dry bar…guess where?! YUP, in the exact same location 200 N. Main Street. It was bitter sweet.
She was an old childhood friend and I was more than happy to help her and her business partner out. I gave her advice, helped her some and we became closer than ever. So – no blow dry bar for me.
At the end of the next year that included a lot of prayer, she asked me to become a partner in her blow-dry bar business!
It was in THAT moment, I learned to trust the process.
God shut one door and gave me the desires of my heart. It was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced.
We just rounded out our 3rd year of business, and this September, The Dry Room was voted McAllen’s Top 5 Businesses and exactly a month later, I opened up a luxury boutique with my husband and dear friends Cindy and Derek.
Since then, I have never questioned why things are they way they are or why they go down the way they do.
If I could give any advice to anyone who feels like they have had a door shut in their face, or have been told no – it would be – dream big, work really hard, pray even harder, and believe… the most beautiful things are in store.
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Essay by: Ginna Mares Villarreal
Guys, Ginna seriously is the hardest working lady in show biz!!
If you live in the RGV, make sure to visit her at The Dry Room and at By Maxwell.
And if you'd like to see Ginna and follow her fun life - check out her fashion blog at Ginna Villareal.
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Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Sarah Donovan
The Courage to Face Anxiety + Help Women Rise
As a young girl, you could find me painting flowers or vintage VOGUE covers. I guess you could say that was the beginning of my career as an artist. And all along the way, my mom encouraged me to keep a paintbrush in my hand. Even though I tried my hand at other things, my heart always lead me back to painting.
I knew I loved art and design AND I have always had a desire to be with people and love people.
My parents were always caring for others and their family members so I have them to thank for this characteristic.
In 2006 I was blessed with the opportunity to share this love for people by visiting Uganda on a mission trip. My goal was to share love with Ugandans, but these beautiful people showed me a love that is truly indescribable.
During college, I went through a series of rough patches. I enjoyed partying and boys more than studying for a period of time. (Anybody else?) And after some questionable decisions, I came to the realization that I wasn't loving myself.
Shortly after this fun phase, I met my precious husband Andrew. And a year after graduating college (babies!), we were married.
I knew I loved Andrew when we got married, but through life's challenges, I have really gotten to know his loyalty – and I admire him the most. He is my rock, and literally the other half of me. I admire his ability to lead without being cocky, his kindness, and his love for myself and our son.
I struggled to find a job so I started teaching art at a local art school. While teaching, I took freelance creative jobs and began my stationery business, The Stationery Bakery.
At first I focused on wedding invitations and over the past few years the business had transformed and now I illustrate greeting cards, prints, and home + gift items.
But while that is my passion career wise, I also have an insane passion for loving my husband and kid.
After becoming a mom, and experiencing some personal hardships, I discovered my drive to support and love women.
Let’s rewind to 2014.
While I had a seemingly healthy pregnancy, I experienced anxiety around ultrasound appointments. And even after determining everything was fine, I turned into a beautiful anxious mess!
During the end of my pregnancy, I was convinced I was dying. And that anxiety ramped up after having George.
I was obsessed with this kid and was constantly worried something would happen to him or myself. And after a few long months of suffering the grips of anxiety, I got help from an amazing counselor in Austin, Brett Brightwell. I experienced a total identity crisis when becoming a mom!
(The identity crisis happens to most of us ;) , only I didn’t know that.) Thankfully, I was and have been able to work through the root causes of my anxiety.
In addition to counseling, it became clear that I was dealing with postpartum anxiety and OCD and so I got on medication under the guidance of Suzanne Grantham out of Austin.
When I started to feel some relief, I decided to break my silence and speak out about my experience. Speaking out was therapeutic and I met women who struggled with similar chaos. Then, I started to find a sense of community among other women.
Seeing the importance of community among women and the growing need for mental health support, I felt inspired to start a small support group. The group is called Moms Arising and the goal is to provide a safe environment that encourages women to rise up even in the midst of challenging times.
It's so hard to be a woman.
It's brutal to be a mom.
My hope is to continue to seek for answers within myself so that my confidence will encourage other women to do the same.
My anxiety is not cured, it is still a part of my life today. I still look over my shoulder from time to time waiting for a crippling panic attack. However, I have found relief in surrounding myself with a tribe that I love and trust. And my tribe is constantly evolving because of the unique people I meet each day.
In addition to my husband and my tribe, I have found a lot of healing in my faith and personal relationship with God. I used to think of God as this judging figure shaking his head at my poor decisions – but I have come to understand him as a loving father embracing me (entirely) in every moment.
We all go through scary times, but we can use those moments to reflect and meditate. Those times are what shape who we are and who we become.
Essay by: Sarah Donovan
I feel so lucky to have Sarah share her story with us! She worked through her fears AND had the wherewithal to take action and help other women! That is the definition of amazing and community and a strong woman. Wow!!!!
Stop by and say hi to Sarah and pick up some of her GORGEOUS ART WORK !
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Como Mamas
Originally published on 10-23-13
Sometime in mid-March, I was working at ACL and SXSW acts were rolling through the venue. The ticket for this particular night read, Soul Review. I thought, “Cool. I like soul music.” And I had a glimmer of hope that Justin Timberlake would swing by.
At 8pm when the house lights went down the venue only had about 100 people in it. It was a meager start to the night as the venue fits about 2700 music lovers. As I surveyed the crowd I thought, “Maybe Prince is playing down the street or something.”
I scanned the acts on the ticket and since I hadn’t heard of any of them, I didn’t pay much attention. As ACL spans four floors I spent a lot of my time running around chatting and checking with staff on each floor. As I was running around my boss, Tom asked “Have you been inside the venue yet? You’re going to love the act on stage.” As soon as I found a good breaking point I made my way inside the venue and was immediately blown away.
The room was dark and cold and filled with the unforgettable voices of The Como Mamas. As I surveyed the stage I thought, “Only three ladies, no instruments?” I had heard similar sounds from movie soundtracks before, but never in person. The group is made up of three lifelong Gospel singers from the small town of Como, Mississippi, and they were magnificent. Their voices cut straight through the fluff and went directly to my bones. Their voices were gripping. I was mesmerized. I inched my way toward the front of the stage and got lost in their voices. I took photos and videos but nothing compared to the real thing.
When their set was over and the crowd of what was now 200 people had finished applauding, I decided to make good use of my all access pass and go backstage to tell them how awesome they were.
I walked straight up to my favorite of the three singers, Ms. Ester Mae, and I introduced myself. “Hello, my name is Catia and I work here. I just wanted to tell you how powerful and impactful your performance was. Listening to your voices is very moving. Good luck with…” I thought it was be a quick congratulations and I’d be on my way. But before I turned away she grabbed my hands in hers.
We were outside her dressing room and folks were hurriedly working getting ready for the next band, but somehow all that faded away and I felt connected. I didn’t yet know what she was going to say, but I knew that I was going to pay attention.
My small soft hands sat in her encompassing rough hands. Her hands felt like they had been productive for decades. She was tall and was of bigger build and dressed in her Sunday best. Her long corn rows were pulled back in a ponytail and she was smiling so big I could see her gold capped teeth. No one would have questioned her being backstage but she was wearing her artist badge proudly.
Once my hands were in hers and our eyes locked she said, “Thank you so much for that. You know, I’m 62. They came into my church and discovered me 4 years ago. All my life I’ve been singing in the church, for the church and just now, my dreams are coming true. Tomorrow, they are taking me on a plane to New Orleans!” She was beaming. Ms. Ester continued, “I’ve been praying my whole life to God. You just keep working hard for what you want. Don’t lose faith in yourself or in God. When you’re ready, your dreams will find their way to you. Don’t be afraid of hard work.”
I was blown away by her words of wisdom. I knew that this was not an ordinary occurrence.
Ms. Ester definitely looked like she could cook a southern meal and give a great hug. And since we weren’t near a kitchen, I asked if I could give her a hug and she agreed. It was such a mama bear hug. I could feel her love even though she didn’t know me from Adam.
Did she know Guapo and I were about to hit a rocky patch? Did she know I was going to jump into writing full time? Did she know that I was training for a marathon? Did she know I was working two jobs and was really tired? There were so many balls in the air; I had no clue how life was going to be come May. How did she know I would need to hear her words? She didn’t, but God did.
God sent her to me to say, “Keep your head down, work hard and don’t lose faith.” The words, “I’m 62 and I’m just walking into my dream,” pop into my thoughts when I get impatient.
There are signs all around and they come to us in different packages. The universe is constantly talking to us, guiding us along. However, the signs from the universe won’t always be obvious, most times, they’ll be subtle. We have to be open and aware enough to receive them. We have to have open hearts, open minds and be quiet enough within ourselves to notice the messages.
If we are constantly numbing ourselves out with food, alcohol or even activity we will have a hard time reading the signs along the way, if we see them at all. James Earl Jones is not going to show up at our doors telling us what our next move should be, neither is the Wizard of Oz.
Some days a door will open and a door will close and that’s as much change that will happen. Some days there may be a road block along the way redirecting us, and some days the universe may send us Ms. Ester. Most times the signs are so small that we may not even give them any significance, but they are there. Pay attention.
Justin Timberlake was a no show that night, but I got something much better, a hug from Ms. Ester and a message from God.
Ms. Ester, may you continue to touch people’s souls the way you touched mine.
What it Feels like to Worship
Originally published on 9-15-13
Sunday Morning
It’s 9:58 AM and I’m just getting to church for the 10am service. I’m dressed in a pink tweed dress and some nude patent leather heels. I was too lazy to blow dry my hair, so it’s up in pony tail. I reason with myself that God’s just glad I’m here.
I park in the middle school parking lot across from the low income housing units and walk swiftly up the cracked side walk. As I pass fellow 10 a.m. church goers. I think, “Hello, I hope you’re as excited as I am.” But instead of speaking, I just smile. I have my big brown vegan approved tote in hand, and since I have been coming to Greater Mt. Zion a year and half I know what to pack. Every Sunday I bring a pen, notebook paper, a check book and lots of tissue. Once in a while I bring in my phone so that I can record snippets of the choir, so I can listen to them at my leisure. As I get closer to the building I hear the welcome music coming through the outdoor speakers, which I quite enjoy. It’s like the amuse-bouche, compliments of the chef.
I am politely greeted by a woman in her mid-40s, “Hello and welcome to Greater Mt. Zion. Enjoy the service.” I think, “You bet I will!” I am handed a one page weekly bulletin and my eyes scan it. My heart says, “You need to be more involved.” My mind says, “You travel too much.” I convince myself that my level of involvement is enough and I am ushered in the sanctuary.
I take my seat, tuck my over-sized tote under the pew and before I can even look around to analyze the new outfits in the room, I am engulfed in voices, a buzzing of love. I sit in the first few rows and so I am not farther than 10 feet from a full experience. The 20 person choir is singing their first song. Before I can catch their melody, I can feel that each of their hearts is wide open and full to the brim of praise and thanks. Their cup runneth over so does mine.
The spirit of the Lord is here
The spirit of the Lord is here
I feel it in the atmosphere
The spirit of the Lord is here, oh
The spirit of the Lord is here, oh
The power of the Lord is here
The power of the Lord is here
I feel it in the atmosphere,
The power of the Lord is here, oh
The power of the Lord is here, oh
Everybody blow the trumpet
And sound the alarm
because the Lord is in the temple
Let everybody bow
Let all the people praise Him now
The Lord is here
I close my eyes and the joyous voices raise me into a cloud of what can only be described as love. I think, “This must be what heaven feels like.” Their ability to praise Jesus with such pride and fervor seeps into me and soon my heart is open and full. So full in fact that now it has to find a release. Finally, my eyes well up and steady streams of tears start to roll down my eyes. Any negative feeling that was floating around in me is shoved out by love and gratitude. I can only reason that this strategy will work in everyday life. The more I praise and give thanks, the less space there is for anger, jealousy or even self-pity.
The voices of that fill the old Baptist church are untrained and yet, they sound spectacular. The parishioners’ voices are loud and there is palpable electricity in the room. If a bystander walked by the church and saw it elevating, I wouldn’t be surprised. The 27 year old male soloist convincingly sings, “We’re going higher…higher! The presence of the Lord is here, the presence of the Lord is here, I feel him in the atmosphere, the presence of the lord….IS HERE,” and everyone is so jazzed and my hands are red and stinging from clapping with so much excitement. The color coordinated choir is swaying from side to side and movin’ and groovin’. They look sharp! “I really want to be part of the choir, singing is not my strong point, but maybe I’ll try one day.”
As we near the end of the song the instruments drop off into the background, as to let the believer’s voices be heard more clearly. I feel so much emotion that the lump in my throat is growing with every note. Now we’ve been praising and dancing for 6 minutes and Greater Mt. Zion is filled wall to wall and floor to ceiling with powerful souls who are praising God. It is magical! I am so overwhelmed that I cover my face and cry into my hands. I think, “I am lucky to have found this church home. I am so lucky to have found God.” God is here, I know. I know for sure, God is here.
The church pews and extra patio chairs and balconies are filled with parishioners of all ages. The 200 person congregation is filled with followers who have more than me, less than me, who are different than me and the same as me saying, “Thank you, Jesus. I praise you. Thank you.” We are all just proud and grateful to participate.
The first song is now over.
An hour and a half later, church wraps and I walk out feeling energized and rejuvenated. I feel loved and I know I have contributed to my foundation. I know that the last hour and half was spent not in prayer for things to come, but in prayer of gratitude. On Sundays, I don’t ask God for anything, I just give thanks for all he’s already done. After Sunday service, I know I am a better advocate for humanity. I feel whole.
Heaven must feel like this, I know. I know, Heaven must feel like this.
I wish so much to put each of you in my pocket and bring you with me to church. I think you would love it! I wish I could give you the gift of God’s love and peace, but I know better, only you can do that for yourselves. I love loud joyous celebrations, so Greater Mt. Zion works for me. I encourage you to find what works for you.
Greater Mt. Zion
Originally published 7-15-12
So here’s the thing, I’ve never been a church going person, but have always been a praying person.
I’ve always hesitated to use God in everyday language in public but never hesitated to talk about God privately.
I don’t have an all-encompassing belief system, even though I was raised Catholic and can wear a rosary like nobody’s business, I won’t declare to you that I am a certain religion and embarrassingly I recently learned the difference between the old and the new testament, but I will declare that I believe in a higher power that both love and guides deliberately.
It has taken me 29 years to really seek out a church and faithful community, a community that I can lean on from each Sunday afternoon to the next.
A few months ago, as I was contemplating my love life – the only issue I allow to keep nagging at me, the other day I bought cocktail napkins that say, “My life is perfect I’m looking for a problem to drink about.” - I just felt like I didn’t have any more answers. There were no more people I could ask for advice; I had become a frequent flyer in the self-help section of Barnes and Noble and Oprah was just not coming through like she used to. I had exhausted my life lines. Then life surprised me as it does from time to time and my girlfriend casually mentioned she had found this great Baptist church on the East side of Austin and she described it as different and exhilarating and chock full of good music. I agreed to go more as a cultural experience or Sunday activity; little did I know how much of an impact it would have on me.
The next Sunday, I woke up and put on my Sunday best, a dress my mother and grandmothers would approve of, and I headed to church.
As I walked into the Greater Mt. Zion Baptist Church in East Austin, I looked around and realized, there were no: crosses, no altar, no place to kneel, no hymnals in the pews, no white people. Huh? No white people? Correct. It’s a Baptist church in east Austin and it’s glorious. Ladies wore adorned hats, there was choir that was joyful, there were dance performances, there was a band, a preacher, and more hugs than anyone could ever need.
The service was uplifting and energizing. We sang, clapped, danced and hallelujah-ed our way through a two hour service. (All this was foreign to me as Catholic’s rock it out in 45 or less and the most movement during mass is when you turn to your neighbors to shake their hands and wish them peace.) It was lovely and fun and beyond fulfilling. I cried and laughed and held hands with strangers. At times during the service I marveled in the universe’s timing. I knew I was thirsty for something more, but I didn’t know just how thirsty and I certainly didn’t know for what. When I walked out of church I felt like I had been showered in “feel good.” I felt like my life’s direction was a little clearer.
I realize this introduction to religion seems fine and dandy and I don’t know if I’ll ever be religious per se, but I think if people can gather to pray for a better world and better lives and they can lift each other up in the process, then that’s a beautiful thing.
I’ve attended regularly in the past few months and I’ve realized I was hurting and that I’ve slowly been healing. My church is a hospital for hurting people.
I hope in whatever church or group you’re a part of that you both give and receive empathy, hope and love and purpose.