Help for Post Partum Depression (and the like)

I have had postpartum depression … twice. And so have A LOT of your friends and family.

When you’re a first time mom, the postpartum experience is new – and since it’s your first time around – it’s not easy to figure out what’s normal and what isn’t.

During my first pregnancy I was aware of the postpartum depression possibility so I guarded against it. I encapsulated my placenta, I worked out, I went to therapy, and still – the bottom fell out from under me. Only I didn’t know it – and not knowing that you are in the midst of postpartum disorders is the most dangerous.

One day, when my first born was about 4 months old, I noticed that I felt really good. I felt like a weight had lifted off my shoulders – and over the next few weeks, the puzzle pieces fell into place and I knew I had been depressed and anxious.

Here’s what my first go with postpartum disorders felt like:

• Having thoughts of my baby getting hurt or dying A LOT.

• Extreme jealousy and irrational behavior.

  • Fear that my husband would find a better woman.

• Not connecting with my child.

  • I tended to her needs and no one could tell I wasn’t truly connecting – but I knew.

• Resentment of my new life.

  • I wanted a baby, and had one, but then I was kind of pissed that my life had changed so much. Where had my life gone? Where had my freedom gone?

So then, with my second baby, I was ready. I knew what to look out for. My husband and I were ready!

With my second baby I had a traumatic birth (I lost 50% of my blood and had to have blood transfusions) so my OB was on high alert for me having Post-traumatic stress disorder, but after a few checkups, she deemed me fine.

The first several months of my second baby’s life were a dream. I was in love with her, I was connecting with her, I had help around the house, and my husband was helping a ton – ALL GOOD!

But then around month four – things started to get weird. I started to have major anxiety and my fuse became shorter and shorter. And around month five, my girlfriend Alexis at Birth 360, posted an article about late onset postpartum depression – and I read it – and it all clicked.

Dang it! It happened again!

I immediately called my doctor and made an appointment.

Here’s what postpartum depression felt like the second time around:

• Having thoughts of my children getting hurt or dying – A LOT.

• A general sense of fear of not having enough (money, food, time, etc.)

• A short fuse, zero patience.

• Anger toward everyone. Suppressed rage.

• Feeling like someone had a boot on my neck.

• Feeling helpless to affect change in my work life.

• Irrational thoughts

Here’s a quick example of irrational thoughts:

My husband and I were out of town visiting family. We were staying in a quiet farm town, at least 30 minutes from a grocery store. One morning he cooked our oldest daughter breakfast — eggs and hotdogs. He also precooked hotdogs for the rest of the day – so that she would have something ready to go if she got hungry.

I asked him if he had had his fill of hotdogs, and he said yes. Then I said, “Okay, I’m going to eat the rest of these hotdogs with my breakfast.” I too wanted eggs and hotdogs. And he said, “Why don’t you have the chicken (there was cooked chicken breast) so that she can have the hotdogs later?”

And I got PISSED.

Thoughts started swirling in my mind. He doesn’t think I deserve hotdogs? Am I not worth hotdogs? I should be able to eat the hotdogs if I want. Am I not worth the $8 worth of hotdogs? And on and on.

I jumped in the shower and began to weep.

Guys, my husband and I have a strong relationship. He loves me and I love him, deeply. We have been through life together and still, we pull closer together. The sky is blue, and my husband loves me — I KNOW these things. And I knew intellectually that he would want me to have the hot dogs if that’s what I wanted – but my brain was spinning OUT OF CONTROL.

And when I told my OB/GYN the hotdog story – she said, “I’m glad you’re here for help.”

—

Useful questions for help for postpartum depression: 

I recommend you ask yourself or have a person you trust ask.

• Are you having fears you didn’t used to have? What are they?

• Are you angry your life has changed?

• Are you having thoughts that your baby is going to die?

• Are you frustrated throughout the day? What sparks the frustration?

• Do you feel inadequate?

• Do you feel supported?

• Do you feel like you can be honest about your feelings with those around you?

• Has your libido changed? How?

• If you have children, how do you feel toward them? Same as before baby? More connected, less connected?

• If you are married or in a relationship – how do you feel toward your spouse/partner? Has it changed since post baby? Describe.

These are BIG questions and they only work if you commit to being honest.

The thing I’ve heard most from women about postpartum disorders is that they are ashamed. I am here to tell you – there is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a hormonal issues – not an issue of ability or will power.

You can ask for help from your OB/GYN, your child’s pediatrician, a counselor or your girlfriends, community and family. Some women feel better after talking about it with friends or a therapist. Some women need medication (me!) And some women need a combo of things.

We are all with you and for you.

Childbirth brings on so many changes, good and bad and messy ones. But the point of it all is to ENJOY your new baby and your new family. Get the help you need, you deserve to feel good!

Other resources:

PPD Moms

Pregnancy and Postpartum Health Alliance of Texas

Postpartum Progress

—

This post was originally written for and featured on Austin Moms Blog

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here



The Courage to Become | Shelly Weiser

I am originally from Louisiana and moved to Austin in 2011 for a change of scenery with the plans of going back home after a year or so. Three years later I bought my first house and I knew this was the place for me. I met my husband in 2010 we were married in 2011 and had an amazing little girl in 2013, followed by our super sweet son in 2014. Needless to say it was a whirlwind of five years, most of it spent just trying to survive the baby years. Now that my son is 3 and I have officially made it through that crazy time, I am realizing that I lost my self identity in the process and forgot that I was a woman and not just a mother.

Creating The Hive was basically me flying out of the tornado, raring to go!

THE HIVE

Coffee Shop + Co-working Space + Child Supervision + Beer & Wine = The Hive. Where you can be productive, or just be. The Hive is a brand new concept in South Austin offering parents and friends some much-needed time to get things done – whether working or just visiting with friends – while their little ones enjoy playing in a safe and fun on-site supervised area. We also have co working desks, a board room available, and a beautiful indoor and outdoor space perfect for meetings or just solo-working.

• What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway? (I can’t

really think of a good answer for this, but I guess this venture would qualify)

• How did it feel getting started?

When I first started this crazy journey it was exciting to say the least. It was something that I knew had to be done for so many reasons, for so many parents. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing but I thought to myself “someone has to do this, so why shouldn’t it be me?”.

• Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started.

My main obstacles we’re not having any idea what I was doing and figuring it out on a daily basis. While I love a challenge, doing it with two toddlers was almost too much of a challenge. There were plenty of days that I woke up and just wanted to stay in bed and hide from commercial leases and fire marshals and just go back to making macaroni necklaces with my kiddos. My amazing husband would help ground me and then kick me in the butt again and remind me that I am just as capable as anyone else to do this and that all of the hard times would totally be worth it. 

• What motivates you?

My motivation is twofold: the first is to prove to myself that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to and to go to bed at night knowing that I kicked ass at something, even if that something was just catching up on a ton of emails or making it through the day with healthy happy kids, fed and (somewhat) clean.

My second motivation is actually my children. I know that this business will affect my family and our time together, but knowing that my children will see their mom kicking butt and doing something big will give them a positive example for when they’re older and facing that same potential struggle.

• Which living person do you most admire?

This might seem a bit cliché, but I truly admire my parents. My dad started his own business when I was very young, probably the same age as my daughter is now. Growing up watching him work so hard for what he wanted, while it meant that he sometimes had to work late at night or on the weekends, was such a great real life learning experience for me. To see him overcome struggles and continue the amazingly hard task of owning a small business was truly inspirational. My mom was extremely supportive of him, there by his side every step of the way. I know that she was out of her comfort zone as well (not necessarily by choice) but they pushed through together and made an amazing life for my brother and I, who are now both self employed. I’ve always pondered the nature versus nurture question, but feel that it is probably a bit of both. I hope to provide that same real-life example to my children so that they can see  (and experience) that anything is possible if you put your mind to it.

• Which talent would you most like to have?

Hmmm, this is a tricky one. I’ve always thought it would be fun to have the talent of Barbara Eden in I Dream Of Jeannie. Can you imagine wiggling your nose and your kids have you eaten, taking a bath, and are in bed sound asleep? How amazing would that be?!?!

• What is your most marked characteristic?

I would honestly have to say my stubbornness. You didn’t ask for my best characteristic or worst characteristic so this covers both bases. If you’re talking to my husband about who loads the dishwasher the best, it may not be my best characteristic that he lists at the time. But in this endeavor, I think it has come in quite handy.

• What is your motto?

I haven’t given much thought to this but I would say at this moment in my life “just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming”. You know you’re saying that in Dory’s voice right now. :) 

• What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

I look around at the amazing life that my husband and I have created, and I’m not sure you’d consider that an accomplishment but it is something that I am so thankful for everyday. Talk to me an a year and hopefully a will add opening The Hive to that answer.

• What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?

I will have to get back to you on that after I go respond to my 1,800 emails and then call the electrician, the accountant, and the caterer. Oh wait, what was the question?

In all seriousness, the only thing I can do is take it one minute at a time and know that every little tedious task will be worth it once The Hive is a well-oiled machine and I’ve accomplished exactly what it is I set out to do!

• What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

Do ALL of your homework and make sure that you know 100-percent, or at least as much is possible, what you’re about to get yourself into. Be prepared for the days that you don’t want to get out of bed and be ready to pick yourself back up again when you get knocked down (isn’t there a song from the 90s about that???).  Know that it will happen more than one time but nothing that is worth it will ever truly be easy. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming. (you know you’re still singing that).

---

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Laura V. Tolin

Fearless in the Face of Uncertainty

          Before I launch into this crazy true story of mine, there are a few things you need to know about me.  First: I’m a planner.  I believe more things get done, and are done better, when you plan for them.  I’m the kid who, for the middle school band trip to Disney World, created a full-color info graphic for her friends to decide what rides were top-priority and to get everyone excited about all the planned activities we were going to do (much to everyone’s chagrin). 

              Second: I believe, despite perfect planning, our attitude and current environment impact what ultimately happens.  Even deeper than that, I believe there are many realities possible in a single moment.  That moment right before you have a car crash?  It’s been preceded by all the moments in your entire life that have lead you to this singular reality.  Think about that for a minute: every. Single. Action.  Sound “woo-woo” enough?  Maybe by the end of my story, you’ll come around to this idea.

              Lastly, you should know I’m a mom of two living in Austin, TX since 2008 with my husband of 9 years.  Our kids are 2 and (almost) 5, we have a dog and a cat and a beautiful house on a very quiet street.  I’m originally from a small town of about 3,000 people in West Tennessee called Somerville, and my parents are still there, living in my great-grandmother’s Greek Revival-style house on Main Street.

          I have a Bachelor’s in English and a Master’s in Theatre/Playwriting.  I tried to plan my life out so that I would never do anything but write. But life had other plans for me: kids, cars, houses, travel, living far from family – things that require me to hold a full-time job that makes steady money.  So, I’ve been a conference coordinator for the last 10 years, and it’s given me financial abundance with which to live my life. 

          But something was always missing.  Even though I have so much, and am so blessed, I felt restless. I want adventure, in the deep core of me. This comes from spontaneity, which is something that doesn’t come naturally to a planner.  I have a deep existential desire to experience transformation.

          Two years ago, I would never have done the things I’ve done today.  I wouldn’t have been as brave.  But here I am, ready to tell you the impossible true story of something that happened to me in 2016 that changed my outlook on life forever.  Something that encouraged me to be fearless in the face of uncertainty.  It was a “lightning moment” that shocked me into a new reality.  May it give you hope that your own moment could happen at any time.

PART ONE: The Choice

          I stared through the foggy window of my mother’s guest bedroom, just before 9am on Wednesday, February 10, 2016, at a small, unassuming Cruise America RV that was parked across the street by the abandoned elementary school.  It was unusually cold outside, and I was exhausted.  Just the day before, around 4pm, I had made the decision to pack up myself, my husband, our three-year-old daughter and barely three-month-old son, into our Honda for a thirteen-hour-drive to make it here.

              Because Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins said he’d be at my mom’s house at 9am.

          The day before this fateful morning, I was out and about with my baby Eli.  I was still on maternity leave, and my time was my own.  I went to HomeGoods and bought some candles.  I snagged a grande vanilla latte.  I got some lunch at P. Terry’s Burger Stand.  The week before, I was having lunch with my husband and baby in tow at a little Mexican place, and there amid the queso and enchiladas, I told him about Billy Corgan and how he was driving around the country to interview people about the “American Dream.”  In my fantasy-land of maternity leave boredom, I had written a nice, concise response to Billy’s website’s contact form, suggesting they go to my mom’s house in Tennessee because she has a lot of cool antiques that I knew Billy would like.  I put my contact info in the form, hit send, and forgot about it.

              On this particular day, I didn’t check my email until I got home, which is unusual for me as I’m often glued to my phone.  When I sat down at my computer, I saw a notification on Facebook.  Billy’s most recent live video popped up, and lo and behold I watched him walk the train tracks of Selmer, TN – a small town very near my own small hometown of Somerville.  He was snapping pictures of the tracks and abandoned buildings with his friend, long-bearded and brainy pro-wrestler Jocephus Hudson.  I couldn’t believe they were so close to “home.”

              My son, Eli, was still sleeping in his carseat, so I continued browsing and checked my email.  And there it was: the subject line read “Is anyone available?”  It was from Justin, Billy’s friend, and it read:

Hi Laura,

Would love to know what the availability is of doing interviews in Somerville today or tomorrow if possible.  Could you provide me with a contact number for you or your relatives?

Respectfully, Justin

          I did a double, triple, quadruple-take.

          It was almost 4pm.  It was a Tuesday. 

          At this very moment, I had a choice to make.  At this very moment, there were a dozen realities swirling in the ethereal sea above my head, waiting to see which one I would choose.

          So, I called my mom.  That was the first step, right?!  Mom had to be on board with them coming to her house. My heart was racing.  Mom picked up, and I explained feverishly what was happening.  Eli stirred in his car seat.  He would be awake soon.  Mom knew who Billy was, due to my teenage obsession, and she screamed a teen-idol scream.  She said yes, of course they could come, but what on Earth…?!  So I hung up and responded to Justin, giving them my Mom’s number.

          I live in Austin, TX, and Somerville, TN is almost a 13-hour drive away.  My planner brain kicked in, and I started to do the math.  Meanwhile, Justin called my mom, and she graciously said she needed to “vacuum” before they came over, to which he laughed.  And they said not to worry - they’d come tomorrow morning, around 9am.

          My mom told me the details and I started going through scenarios.  Not only did I have a three-month-old, but I also had a three-year-old, and a husband with a job.  I could take Eli with me and spring for a last-minute flight.   But who knows if we’d make it on time. 

          Then I made the craziest decision I’ve ever made.

          I decided that we needed to drive there.

PART 2: The Visit

          I called my husband, who was a high school teacher at the time.  He was just getting out of school to go pick up our daughter from daycare.  I tried to explain what was going on.  Luckily, he already knew I’d submitted that form last week so I didn’t have to explain much.  David listened calmly.  It was around 5pm.  I asked him, ultimately, “what should I do?”  After a few moments of contemplation, he said he’d bring Nora home, and we would drive.

          Holy. Shit.

          I immediately threw diapers, clothes, and food into suitcases.  I didn’t have time to pick and choose, I just had to throw things in.  Eli was awake at this point, and started crying to get out of his seat, so I obliged him and, holding him, continued working.  I sat down to breastfeed him right before David arrived home with Nora.

          We made the necessary pet arrangements. I called my friend Becca, who was in the middle of getting her hair colored, to tell her to “stop everything, Billy Corgan is going to my mom’s house,” and would she take care of my cat?  My mystified friend said, “Ok?!”  Then, we dropped the dog off at our local boarding place. 

          We loaded up and left at 6pm – in the height of Austin traffic.  We could barely make it out of the city and I worried we had missed our window of getting there on time.  Eventually, we did make it out, and committed to the long drive.

          At 10pm, both kids were melting down.  Nora asked why we were going to NaNa’s house and said she didn’t want to go anymore.  Eli just wanted to be held.  We calmed them down, gave them some food (and milk), and eventually, they fell asleep.  We pushed on through the night.  I had to wear headphones blasting electronic dance music at full volume so I wouldn’t fall asleep and wouldn’t wake the kids.  I had to take breaks to interact with the breast-pump and try to feed Eli as well.  It was madness, but we made it.  We arrived at 7am – 13 hours after we hit the road.  Any later, and we would have missed the whole thing. 

          Eli was still sleeping when we entered my mom’s house.   I took the world’s fastest shower and tried to do my makeup.  I was more tired than I’ve ever been, but I was running on adrenaline.  I didn’t even know if Billy would come.  I didn’t even know if this was real.  My mind cooked up a whirlwind of scenarios.  What if they were just coming to make fun of us?  I mean, what if they weren’t nice people, what if this was going to be an awful experience? What if my teenage idol didn’t “like” me or acknowledge me or if I didn’t ask the right questions, or look good enough?

          Thankfully, I didn’t dwell on those thoughts in that moment. There were so many unknowns, my head was swimming, but the exhaustion didn’t allow me to fully feel the fear.  All I thought was, “Will he show up?  Will they really show up?”

          Little did I know what was going to happen next.

          At 9am on the dot, the RV parked across the street by the abandoned elementary school.  Eli was sleeping and Nora was happily playing with my parents.  David and I watched as Billy and his two friends, all impossibly tall dudes, stepped out of the RV and rounded the big wraparound porch to the front of my mother’s house.  David checked in with me, “Are you ready for this?”  Bleary-eyed, more tired than I’d ever been, I smiled, and my Dad opened the door for them to walk through.

          I want to stop here and say this: I could have done anything in that moment. I could have exploded into tears.  I could have hidden in a corner.  But I stood there, faced Billy like he was a normal person, and shook his hand.  We explained that we drove through the night, and he was impressed.  What followed was Billy Corgan walking around my childhood home, admiring my mom’s myriad collection of antiques, looking into my childhood bedroom (what?!), sitting upstairs in our informal den and talking to us about his film project. 

          Holy. Shit, y’all.

          He interviewed my mom and I sat on the stairs and listened.  Then, he asked me to come over and interview with him, too.  He asked me questions that I had ALWAYS needed to be asked by someone – let alone by my favorite rock star. I can’t divulge much here as we signed a nondisclosure agreement (whoa!) but I will say, it was a lot about my upbringing and my hopes for the future.  I told Billy that he was hitting so many huge questions for me, and at the end of the interview, I cried, and he hugged me.

            After the interviews, Justin suggested that we all take photos, so I have photographic evidence, y’all – and videos.  Billy even stepped into the living room and played the piano with my daughter.

           The visit lasted about two and a half hours.  When they packed up and were all done, I went immediately to lie down on the couch and just let everything go.  I knew this was something epic, but I had no idea what it “meant” or even how to process it!  I messaged my old high school friend on Facebook and we met the next day for coffee in midtown Memphis.  I showed him the photos and videos and it was so surreal.  But even more surreal was seeing him and talking to him after fifteen years of very little contact.  It’s amazing what these big moments in life will make a person do.

          We stayed at my mom’s house an extra day and then we had to pack it up for the long drive home.  I was more thankful for my parents in ways I have never been before.

          You see, every single moment in my life had led me to this moment. If anything at all had been different, I wouldn’t have been able to make this journey and have this experience.

PART 3:  Returning Home

              It was close to Valentine’s Day and I had already booked a “crazy” trip to Houston for us to see a Cirque du Soleil show and stay in a hotel for the first time with kids – little did I know that we would be driving back to Texas from the craziest trip of our lives.  On Friday, we landed at the Houston hotel and crashed.  Staying in a hotel with two little ones and seeing the Cirque show was easy compared to what had just happened. I kept the experience quiet on social media and tried to process it throughout our little weekend together.

              We finally made it home on Sunday and I can only describe the feeling as that sinking emotion you feel after you’ve planned a wedding and it’s over: you get to the highest heights and then there is nothing left.    

              After I became a mother, I felt like a lot of “what if” doors closed for me.  What if I wanted to sleep in ‘til noon and have no one bother me?  What if my husband and I want to stay out ‘til 2am at a concert?  What if I wanted to just pack up and go on a trip one day?  What if I wanted to devote all my free time to writing and writing and writing?  I thought all of these what if’s were now impossible.  But now I see that nothing is impossible, especially with children – with enough consideration, they can come along for the ride, or they can be left safely with someone else, or they can be right in the mix of everything.  Adulting can be super hard, but we can’t let this life get to us.  We have no idea what the next day will bring.

              Since my experience, I have said “yes” to so many things in life and have received a resounding “thank you, here’s more!” from the universe.  Maybe It’s all about perspective, but I have asked the universe to bring me exciting opportunities and it has delivered.  That’s not to say that I don’t plan out these things, I most definitely do, but I am less afraid to do them now.  I am not afraid to ask for what I want and what I need.

              It’s only when you are knee-deep in uncertainty that you can make that giant leap forward.  When you’re unable to think, and there are so many thoughts swirling...  When everything you’ve ever done or known is staring you in the face and telling you that you need to back down – but instead, you rise up.  I can only liken it to giving birth – pushing past that point of complete uncomfortableness, to appear on the other end with a tremendous sense of relief and a new life in your hands.  We birth ourselves again and again in this life, moving inward and searching, being challenged outside, and finally emerging as something new. 

              There are so many factors that go into getting a person somewhere - physically, mentally, emotionally.  Every single thing you do takes concerted effort.  Pat yourself on the back for the little things and keep plugging away, because one day that “big” moment will come along and you’ve got to be ready.  If any one thing had been different in my life – my job, my husband (how amazing that he helped me get there!), my kids, my parents, even the place where I grew up, my actual mother’s house, my physical wellbeing that day -  ANY one thing, I would not have gotten to experience this.  The experience itself was great, but the getting there was the epic part.  The getting there was the adventure.  And afterwards, now, is the new world created by it.

---

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here



The Courage to Become | Jessica Honegger

In July 2017 I reached out Jessica Honegger via Instagram.

I thought, what do I have to lose?

I had been falling head over heels with Noonday Collection, a company she founded and is CO-CEO of.  If you’ve not yet heard of Noonday Collection, get ready for your heart to be cracked wide open.

Noonday Collection serves people worldwide by providing opportunity for dignified work. They walk into corners of the world where there are beautiful people and beautiful cultures, but not beautiful opportunity – and then, they create it.

Noonday creates a big, wide open space for artisans in underdeveloped countries to flourish. Noonday sources handmade, fair-trade accessories and through a network of upwards of 2,000 ambassadors – creates a marketplace for artisans to show the best of what their culture has to offer.

In July 2017 a few things were happening in my career, season 1 of The Courage to Become: Sister Stories of Hope had wrapped up, season 2 was about to begin. My first book, similarly titled, The Courage to Become: Stories of Hope for Navigating Love, Marriage and Motherhood, was about to publish. 

Reaching out to someone as accomplished and impactful as Jessica can bring up all sorts of nerves. What right do I even have to reach out to her?

--

About 6 years ago my brother asked me to go sky diving with him.

The night before our jump, I had butterflies, BIG ONES. Getting into a plane with AN OPEN DOOR, made my knees wobbly. Flying in a plane, seeing the trees get smaller and smaller as we flew to 10,000 ft. made me sweat. And approaching the of OPEN DOOR of the plane while 10,000 feet in the air –knowing I would be LAUNCHED OUT made me question my sanity.

The diving instructor yelled, “Squat, approach the door, and hang your toes over the side of the plane.” OH CRAP.

Then he said, “Make yourself into a tiny ball and on the count of three, we’re going. One, two, AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

I was free falling from 10,000 feet negotiating a smile while my cheeks flapped in the wind.  

Was the hardest part landing? Falling? No.

The hardest part was the lead up.

So when I make big asks, like reaching out to Jessica -- I remind myself the hardest part is the lead up. If I can garner enough energy and courage to launch -- the rest will be fine.

So I launched, made the big ask and after some coordination - the day came! I was on my way to the Noonday Collection home office to interview Jessica.

DREAM DAY!

I prayed that God would keep me grounded in kindness and love and that I would remain present.

The space was beautiful and useful, just like their mission and just like each of Noonday’s pieces.

Jessica greeted me with a big hug and we were off, chatting like two normal gals!

Here’s how the interview went:

What’s one thing you are proud of becoming?

“I am proud of becoming a woman who is not afraid to be herself. In high school, there were two distinct parking lots, the west parking lot and the jock lot.” She said, “I had friends in both groups and always went between the two. I have learned to hold the tensions of seemingly contradictory feelings or things. I can love hiking and rock lash extensions, love fair-trade and also love luxury, love green smoothies and chips and queso!”

What keeps you going when you’re knee deep in mud?

“I have been exposed to real suffering in the world. I have seen poverty and malnourishment and broken systems. I believe it’s my clear assignment to contribute to these areas. How can you get stuck when you know so many things need help?”

What’s your version of making it?

“I have a certain sense of making it. I am satisfied with my career. There is a certain sense of being settled in Austin and in Noonday. That said, my bigger version of making it is having transformed thousands of people’s lives. A lot more change can be affected.”

Do you think you’ll do Noonday forever?

“Yes.”

What are your hopes for Noonday?

“I hope that Noonday continues to grow and become a household name. There are pockets of people we still need to introduce Noonday to. I want to shine a light on Noonday’s story and community through the Going Scared podcast and my upcoming book, Imperfect Courage.”

What’s one think you’d still like to become?

“I would like to become more productive. And more importantly I would like to become reflexively peaceful and loving.”

Being Noonday’s fuel requires a lot of hard work. Who modeled grit for you as a child? Where did you learn to work so hard?

“I learned grit from my parents. You know, I was industrious as a kid. I would sell handmade jewelry. Both my parents worked really hard. My mom sold homewares and decorations out of our home while my Dad worked hard outside the home.”

What’s the biggest surprise Noonday has brought you?

“It’s all been a huge surprise, an absolute adventure.”

--

Toward the end of our chat, we started talking about my book, The Courage to Become.

And Jessica got up from her seat, walked over to a side table and said, “I think I have it here. Oh yes, here it is.”  And she pulled out my book.

Sometime in the fall, Jessica posted on Instagram and the spirit of the post was, What Can I help you celebrate? And I commented, “I just published my first book, The Courage to Become!” And she commented, “Grabbing a copy now!” And I thought it was sweet of her to show enthusiasm, but in no way did I think she’d follow through.

So when she pulled out my book a few things were going through my mind.

The first was gratitude, and the second was, she is who she says she is.

She is a cultivator of community, a true supporter, a woman’s woman.

--

I know what you’re thinking, where are all the photos of this wonderful day?

I didn’t take one photo.

In today’s day and age of promotion and hashtags and riding people’s coattails – No photo? No proof? No perfectly curated photo of this magical meeting. NOT ONE.

Before I walked in, I prayed to God that he would help me stay in the moment and stay grounded, and he did just that.

I just knew – it wasn’t a moment for selfies, or hashtags or Instastories – it was a moment to connect. 

I hope you’ve gleaned a little more about Jessica’s heart and Noonday’s mission, but what I really want you to know is that she brave, and loving and that she tries – really hard to change the world for the better, every day.

I want you to know that she loves her family with all she's got.

And I want you to know that she believes in you and when and if you’re ready, Noonday Collection will welcome you to the table of creating community, impacting social justice and creating dignified work for people all across the globe.  

Visit Noonday Collection on the web, on Facebook, on Instagram

Visit Jessica Honegger on the web, on Facebook, on Instagram

---

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Charlotte Kikel

I was only 26 years old, and life as I knew it was over. In the late spring of 2002, I could barely walk up a flight of stairs. I couldn’t believe it because I was an athlete. I had been a competitive swimmer through college and a recreational triathlete, so for my legs not to have the energy to get me up the stairs was alarming, to say the least.

I felt like I was wearing twenty-pound weights on each limb and all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch movies. A few days prior to this I thought I had just come down with a cold, but now I knew something else was going on.

So I did what most people do and went to my doctor who put me on a round of antibiotics.

They didn’t work.

So I went back to my doctor who put me on another round of antibiotics.

They didn’t work.

Third times a charm, right?

I returned to my doctor for yet another round of antibiotics.

They didn’t work.

Do you know the frustration of taking a drug and it not working, and possibly making things worse? Most of us do.

The fourth time I showed up to my doctor’s office, not only was I even sicker, but I was exasperated. The experts who were supposed to be helping me weren’t helping me! Somehow, I had a spark of fire still left in me, and I demanded blood work. At 11:30PM, I got a phone call from my doctor telling me to go to the emergency room. My white blood cell count and liver enzymes were off the charts.

When I got to the ER, they took one look at me and then my file and said, “Hmmm. Looks like your gall bladder’s in trouble.”

This made zero sense to me. The gall bladder helps digest fat. I had never had a problem digesting fat. $5000 dollars worth of tests and 8 hours of a sleepless night later, I heard a doctor talking outside my door, “Has anyone tested her for mono? She’s a textbook case.”

They ran that test.  It was $15. It came back positive, and they sent me home with the wisdom of a grandmother: sleep and drink lots of water. I had a viral infection called mononucleosis, and the medical system has no tools for this.

I went into a deep, dark depression from the inflammatory cascade occurring in my body. I had excruciating headaches and panic attacks. I passed out five times in restaurants due to low blood sugar. I slept 12 hours a night, took 3 hour naps, and still didn’t have any energy.

This illness also destroyed my relationships because here’s the deal: I looked healthy. So if you look healthy and the doctors can’t find anything wrong with you, then you clearly have a mental problem, right?

Wrong.

After a few years of living in this hell hole, I contemplated suicide on my bathroom floor. I know I’m not alone: 10 million Americans contemplated suicide last year and those are just the people who are willing to admit it. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/10-million-us-adults-seriously-considered-suicide-last-year/

Brushing my teeth seemed like an extraordinary task. I had this strange red rash around my hairline, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. My joyful spirit that wanted to engage with the world around me was trapped in a body that didn’t want to be here. I couldn’t reconcile this and wondered how much longer I could go on.

It sounds corny, but something deep inside of me told me not to give up. Curiosity, anger, and God kept me going. How did this happen? How did I go from swimming 3 hours a day to having a difficult time walking up a flight of stairs? What in the actual fuck is going on here?

After a conversation with a nutritionist and a friend of a friend who had a similar experience, I had a sneaking suspicion that the fact that my dad was vice president of Imperial Sugar in Sugar Land, Texas had something to do with my illness. Turns out I was right. With what energy I had, I started reading books about nutrition and holistic healing. Fifteen years later, I now have a library of over 300 health-related books.

Sugar, along with excessive exercise, too little sleep, and a stressful job, were the perfect storm for the collapse of my vitality.

The good news is that with a tincture of time, herbal medicine, and significant dietary and lifestyle changes, I got better. Much, much better. I got my life back, and this time it’s better than it was.

I have plenty of energy to move through my day. I can think clearly. I love my work and my husband. Life feels like worth living again.

I ended up pursuing a 2-year certificate in nutrition from Bauman College and obtaining a Master’s of Science Degree in Western Herbal Medicine from the Maryland University of Integrative Health in an effort to understand what had happened to me and how others could prevent it from happening to them.

I now know that same wisdom flowing through my body that resulted in chronic illness is the same wisdom that healed me. I got sick because I asked my body to adapt to the impossible. I controlled it every step of the way, until it made me surrender. Now, I have no choice but to listen to my body every single day or I suffer.

It takes courage to heal. I had to give up everything I loved to reclaim my vitality.

I am no longer a competitive athlete. I participate in gentle restorative activities.

I no longer eat sugar and have dreams of owing a bakery. I had to create a new career – one that would respect my health AND enhance the health of others.

We can’t have pets in our home. I had to find a new home for my dog.

And when I gave birth to our son at home at the foot our bed, and then slipped back into another deep, dark inflammatory depression, I saw it this time. I saw the opportunity for another layer of healing. I saw the need to hibernate with my baby. Under very different circumstances, I had to give up who I knew myself to be all over again.

As a direct result of that transformation, I wrote a book titled Eat in Peace to Live in Peace: Your Handbook for Vitality. I just couldn’t keep all that I have learned to myself, so I wrote it down for you…in the name of hope and for the courage to become.

---

Charlotte Kikel, MS, NC, ACN, MCPP
Board Certified Holistic Nutritionist & Registered Herbalist (AHG), Eat in Peace Wellness Consulting
512-587-0338 //http://www.charlottekikel.com

Schedule appointment herehttp://eatinpeacewellnessconsulting.fullslate.com/

---

Find Charlotte’s book, Eat in Peace to Live in Peace, here!

---

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

 Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Naya Weber

My family and I have been living in the Austin area for about three years, after moving from our home of eight years just outside of Fort Worth. My husband found his dream job, which required us to leave our friends and move down I-35. The timing of the move couldn’t have come at a worse time: I was only 3 months postpartum after having our second son. At a time when I needed my village the most, I ended up a few hundred miles away.

While I did know people in Austin (a grand total of 4 people in the whole area), navigating a new city with a toddler and an infant was daunting. Because I had no idea where anything was and traffic scared the living daylights out of me, and we ended up staying home a lot. I kept the kids entertained with crafts, books, and watching more TV than I care to mention. However, I felt like a prisoner inside our apartment. What I didn’t realize was that I was developing a case of postpartum anxiety and depression.

We moved to a rental home in south Austin a few months later. I was grateful to have my own space for a while, a backyard to play in, and parks nearby. Despite the relief, my temper was out of control. My husband has always been a good gauge for my behavior and he gently let me know that I needed some help. He felt like he was walking on eggshells around me. I finally sought out a therapist and started meeting her weekly to get through this. After the first visit, I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me and I wished I had found her ages ago.

Part of her care plan for me was to get out of the house and meet people, specifically other moms. She also helped me frame the recent life changes in a different way – I was getting a fresh start in a new city.

I took the opportunity to pursue something I was passionate about while living in Fort Worth: I went back to school to finish education in order to become a lactation consultant. Supporting breastfeeding families was something I was very passionate about and did on the side prior to our move. Getting back to that part of me helped me so much.

I also met a number of wonderful women through a stroller-based fitness program. Being around other mothers felt great. They couldn’t have been kinder or more welcoming. Before long, I was one of the gang and had a good group of friends I saw several times a week. We’ve attended each other’s kids’ birthday parties and dropped off food after a new baby or illness, and more.

Fast forward to present day: I’ve completed all of the prerequisites to sit for the International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) exam, and rocked the test this past October!!!

The moms I met are still very much a part of my life, and we see each other at least once a month to catch up. I did run into several obstacles while going back to school, namely childcare. Not having old friends or family around made it challenging, but my mama village came through in the form of meals, childcare, and sharing their babysitters. Any mother will tell you that a good and reliable babysitter is worth her weight in gold!

More than anything, I’m grateful to feel more like myself than I have in years. I feel settled and like I have a purpose. I’m not who I was prior to the move, I’m a new and improved version of myself that is somehow still the same person I have always been.

Another layer has been added on to a solid foundation. Something that helped me through the difficult time was that it was okay to let my guard down and ask for help. Whether it was for my mental health or someone to watch my kids for an hour so I can get groceries, it is okay to reach out to others for assistance. It is okay to be vulnerable.

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I love Naya's ability to keep it real. The more we surround ourselves with authentic women  - the easier it us for us to be our true selves! Keep up with Naya here! 

Naya Weber, CLEC

Lactivist in Louboutins

FB/LactivistInLouboutins

@ohheynaya (Instagram)

@ohheynaya (Twitter)

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Sincerely Sarah Photography

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Angela Fry

The Courage to Become a Mother 

My husband and I waited a 15 months before we actively started trying to have a baby after we were married. By month 20 I was concerned. So, after much discussion, we decided to see an infertility doctor. We most certainly weren’t getting any younger and my need, my want for a child was in overdrive.

Did I have the courage for what I knew would be an emotional process?

Painful tests, Clomid, ultrasounds, Intrauterine Insemination is how I spent that summer and fall. Nothing. Nothing, but tears, lots of money spent, and sadness. Emotionally, it was like I was drowning. We took a break and went on a cruise.

Six months later after our heads were clear, we were relaxed and very hopeful that this time treatment would be successful. We met with Dr. Michael Henry and came to the decision that In-Vitro Fertilization was my best option at getting pregnant.

So we began our IVF journey.

On August 16th I had my IVF egg retrieval. Two embryos were transferred back to me on August 21, 2012. We prayed.

Four days before I was advised to I took a pregnancy test. And it was POSITIVE!

My pregnancy was confirmed with my doctor’s office and less 2 weeks later I had my first ultrasound. After much silence, my doctor said the four words I will never forget…”I think there’s three.” I cried and my heart felt like it exploded. We were asked to come back in a week for a second ultrasound to confirm triplets!

Did I have the courage to get through this high-risk pregnancy?

By 22 weeks I was the size of full term singleton pregnancy. A few days before my next appointment I felt like I was leaking amniotic fluid.

I was admitted into the hospital to monitor Baby A overnight. An ultrasound confirmed her fluid was low and that she was much smaller than the other two. I was sent home the next day officially on bedrest.

Ten days in and I was sent by ambulance from our local hospital to St. Vincent Women's Hospital in Indianapolis. I was admitted for observation for the contractions I was having. I was sent home the next day with medication if they started again.

My husband left for a work trip to Florida and the next day I was admitted into the hospital again. At 26 weeks 4, days I was there for the rest of my pregnancy.

Did I have the courage to survive this hospital stay alone?

I was kind of happy because the babies would now be monitored daily, but I had no idea just how horrible the next month would be.  An overnight stay in a hospital is doable. A week stay is worse. I was an in-patient for almost a month. I don’t wish that on anyone no matter the reason they are there.

On a snowy morning in February I stood up to go to the bathroom and thought I had peed. For some reason, I felt like I needed to let the nurse know. She rushed to get the doctor. He checked me and said “Call your husband. It looks like you’re having the babies today. What? Today? I’m only 29 weeks 5 days. Then I was scared.

That afternoon I was wheeled into the operating room for my c-section. Including myself and my husband, there was the anesthesiologist, 3 doctors, several nurses, and a neonatal nurse for each of the babies. I just laid on the table and cried.

Did I have the courage to do this?

Jase was born first. He was 2lbs 6oz and 15 inches long. He didn’t make a sound. I didn’t even get to see him. Seconds later Henley was born.  At 2lbs 3oz and just over 12 inches long, she cried, but I didn’t get to see her either. Sadie Marie came last at 2lbs 2oz and 13 inches long. No sounds from her either. She was whisked away too. I cried and cried and cried.

About an hour later I was wheeled into the NICU to finally see the babies. After 76, 103, and 108 day NICU stays I brought my babies home.

It turns out I did have the courage to become the mother that I always wanted to be.

Almost 4 1/2 years later I am here, surviving and thriving with happy, healthy, crazy preschoolers. Although them being born so prematurely wasn’t ideal, God had a plan for them. I can’t wait to see what else he has in store for my sweet peas. Their lives may have begun at birth, but it was life after the NICU that we all really began living.

Angela is the mother of 4-year-old triplets Jase, Henley, and Sadie. She spends her days loving and sometimes loathing the experience of raising triplets. When she’s not chasing three preschoolers you can find her blogging and drinking an entire pot of coffee in one day.

Connect with Angela on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter

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Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Aseky Bonnaire

“Everything happens for a reason”-says everyone when something unfortunate or inconvenient happens.

My name Is Aseky Bonnaire and I live for that quote. I’m a millennial mom raising three boys in Sunny Orlando Florida. I’m married to my high school sweet heart, and childhood crush. I like to think I have it all figured out, but I don’t, nor will I ever, but let a girl think she does haha. I guess I should go into depth more about myself. I met my husband when I was 11 years old and had THE biggest crush on him. We started dating when I was 15 and he was 16. We dated from sophomore year all throughout High School. We did homecoming dances, prom, graduation, the whole 9 yards.

After high school we both went to the local State College. After the first semester flew by, I decided, I love this college thing and I don’t want a baby to interrupt anything. I went to my OB to get a script for birth control, and that’s where I found out I was pregnant. Literally at that moment, it felt like my entire world caved in on me. I was just going to be another teen mom. I was going to live a hard life, I was never going to be able to be on my own 2 feet, and I would have to rely on my mom forever. After our family found out and all the initial shock went away, we actually got really excited to be bringing in a life into this world. Renaldo Jr (RJ) was brought into this world October 23, 2012. We were young, and didn’t know what the heck we were doing, but we knew we had each other and we wanted the best life possible for him. Throughout my entire pregnancy I stayed in school, and even a week after delivering I was going in to take mandatory tests. Renaldo (my boyfriend at the time, now husband) landed a good job, making decent money (for a 20 year old) in customer service (he still works there BTW).

We moved out of my Mom’s house when RJ was 7 months old. We moved into a townhouse 100% on our own. We saved up as much as we could from Renaldo working 5 days a week, 50+ hours, all while I was in school full time. We felt like ‘we made it’. I don’t know if you remember how it felt when you first moved out on your own, whether it was college, or when you got married, but it’s an indescribable feeling. Shortly after moving I got my first “big girl” job at the hospital working in finance. Because of that job, I took a break on school, but also because of that job, we could afford more things outside of bills. When RJ was 11 months old, Renaldo bought me an engagement ring and asked me to be his wife.  For the next 12 months we planned our dream wedding, I switched departments at work so I could be home more, bought our first brand new car and went on a bachelorette/ bachelor cruise. Our wedding came and it wasn’t short of perfect. All of our childhood best friends were there, and it was just a great time with great people.

Shortly after our honeymoon we got pregnant with our 2nd son. My husband got promoted (this was his 4th promotion within the 3 years) but It was that pregnancy that I found my love for blogging, and connecting with other women via Instagram. That’s when I discovered the power of a hashtag LOL! Good pregnancy overall. He was born June 17, 2015. We brought him home to our little 2 bedroom townhouse. We knew we wanted to move into something bigger, but never thought we would be able to buy a house. Come on, we were only 22/23 years old. While on maternity leave, I got bored and saw an ad that went something like “you can have a mortgage as low as your rent!” so I called that number, one thing lead to another, obstacle after obstacle, few months went by, and we became homeowners. Shortly after becoming homeowners, I got pregnant with our third (totally not planned, I was breastfeeding. So FYI Breastfeeding IS NOT BIRTHCONTROL. It doesn’t work. Joel is proof haha) but he’s such a blessing and the perfect addition to our family. We literally brought him into the world in that home (no, seriously, I delivered him at home with no one but my husband and kids present). And now we are currently renovating the house from the floor up.

Not only were we home owners, we became homeowners at 22 and 23 year olds, with 2 kids, in the city where we both grew up, completely on our own, and not living up to the stereotype people categorized us in. There is such a negative stigma with being a teen mom. People automatically assume you’re going to live a hard and tough life. While YES, it was hard having a kid at 19, yes there were times we had no clue how we were going to put gas until the next paycheck, but did it stop us, NO! I feel that so many young moms and teen moms automatically categorize themselves and determine their future before they even give themselves a shot at anything.

Having a super supportive (emotionally and financially) partner plays a HUGE role in all of this. Renaldo and I are a team. We’re in this together. We grew up and matured together, and at the same pace, so we were always on the same page when it came to goals that we wanted to achieve. Buying a house is definitely not my ‘I made it’ moment, nor will it come from anything materialistic.  

My ‘I made it’ moment came in motherhood. Because RJ, my husband worked for that amazing job he has. Because of RJ, I found my purpose. I know that being home with my kids is where my heart found a home. When I had no friends (because all my friends are normal, and have kids at a regular age) I found comfort in the community of the women of the blogging, and social media world. Making connections with other moms from all walks of life, different backgrounds, all ages, is where I found my niche. Blogging and sharing my life with other teen moms is where I found sense of belonging.

It’s amazing when something is for you, it just falls into place. When I told my husband I wanted to get back into blogging, literally opportunity after opportunity rolled in. It’s like God patted me on my back, placed the right words in my heart, and whispered, “This is for you. Share your life, share your experiences, be a light where someone is in darkness. You got this boo!”.

I know this was a lot to read, but a girl got a lot to share!  I’m so thankful for crossing paths with Catia, and being able to share my story with you all! Thanks for reading and remember; whether you’re a teen mom or not, everything happens for a reason. What may feel like the end of the world is potentially a blessing in disguise.  

I call this, Becoming: Not another stereotyped teen mom.

---

Be sure to keep up with Aseky on her web site, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter

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Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Ashely Solberg

Dearest beauties, my name is Ashley Solberg, and I’m the founder of She Is Blank Space. Myself and fifteen other ladies joined together to start a blog where we share about life, fashion, beauty and the things we love as moms. We believe there is strength in our stories as I learned strength in mine the hard way. Silently hiding behind my pain, I got nowhere, but once I spoke of what I had come through, I realized how much we need courage in ourselves to encourage others.  

One day, I woke up.

No, not by the beeping of my alarm clock or my kids poking me in the side before sunrise, but I WOKE up.

My innermost being was so lost, confused, and just flat out blah.

Everyday…crickets.

I absolutely could not answer the question of who I was anymore. Sad, right? Yeah, I thought so too. This started a long downward before an upward one. It was a lot of questioning and addressing things I was holding onto before I could start moving forward. I dug in deep, cried a lot of tears from past hurts, anger, and whatever else I needed to face. This was hard for me, a person that seemingly had it all together, to admit defeat and that I was failing at “life.”

In general, nothing about life was bad. I had a wonderful husband, three beautiful children, a great paying salary job and by God’s grace, we’ve always had everything we needed. Something was missing though. That spark--I lacked passion and zeal. I allowed my light to be dimmed.

My bright light, little by little, diminished. The fight of infertility testing, waiting, hoping, with nothingness—dimmed. After finally achieving a long-awaited pregnancy, we found out we were having twins—my light started to come back.  Five months into the pregnancy, one of our perfect, sweet girls had a portion of her amniotic sac break away and entangle her foot and cord. The day before fetal surgery, it caused her to go on from this life far too soon. I could not grieve, I had to carry her, I had to be strong for our baby still with us. I carried joy and sorrow for so long I didn’t know how to feel just one—light extinguished.

We named our daughter that was with us, Ella Joy, which means a bright light of joy. Every day I clung to her so tightly amidst my tears of thankfulness and sadness. For hours, I would just watch her breathe. Becoming a mother was everything I could have hoped for, I truly loved her with every fiber and then some. Every milestone first I was truly happy at watching her grow, but I also felt like someone was missing.

At my worst point, I guarded myself by avoiding going anywhere completely and when I did, fleeing as soon as I could to avoid a breakdown when someone asked the “are you ok?” question. I guess I knew if I allowed myself to truly process, it would hurt too bad, so I just kept going, delaying my grief even longer. The saddest part of all of it, is I knew better. I realized that battle would always be and I had a decision to make of how much I wanted to fight it.

When my daughter was 18 months old, I felt like I was ready to walk through the infertility treatments again towards another little one. Things happened much faster this time as we knew what treatment course worked. We were pregnant, and not just pregnant, but doubly pregnant. Yes, you heard that right…twins, twice. We were over the moon, but also fearful. This whole mix of emotions seemed to be a thing for us and I grew tired of it. A few months pregnant, I decided enough was enough and I was just going to be happy where we were at minus the fear part. I enjoyed every bit of the pregnancy and my little toddler sidekick by my side. The twins were born at 33 weeks, but being a NICU nurse at the time (funny how life’s seasons prepare you for what you need), I was comforted by my co-workers as I stayed by their side and stuffed them full of milk for nine days prior to going home.

Then, well…life. Along with experiencing the loss of our Emmy before, becoming an exhausted new mom again (I seriously don’t remember the babies first six months with that kind of tired), but mostly going through the motions and convincing myself I was ok where I was just trying to stay afloat.

Things were different last year when all this She Is Blank Space business started, and although I remembered those feelings, I needed to discover what God wanted for me right now instead of clinging to my past and those coulda-woulda-shoulda thoughts. I had a new perspective and needed to filter through what that all meant.

After the air finally cleared for me, it seemed like everyone I knew was fighting against things in their health, marriages, kids-- anything and everything.

And then it happened, this pivotal moment that caused everything to collide. I remembered. I remembered what it felt like to be a part of something bigger than me, I remembered the things I dreamed about as a teen that I wondered how they would happen, I remembered what it should mean to be a great friend.

Out of the normal for this fairly quiet individual, I posted a random video of encouragement for others as I was also speaking to myself. Out of my own path I was still walking, this door opened my heart for others again. Even as I pleaded for someone else to be picked, because surely, I was in no position to do this, I could not escape my butterflies. It became evident I just needed to jump into something REALLY out of my comfort zone. As someone with a supportive family and amazing circle, I knew that we were very blessed and not everyone had this. What better place to offer this to others than on a website that could reach far beyond what I could physically.

So, what to call this new venture? I was drawing a blank (see where I’m going?). How do I categorize this when I want it to reach all women in different phases of life? It was impossible to put a label on it, and one morning while changing one of the twins’ diaper, it came to me…”She Is Blank Space.” No, not the void kind of blank space, but the blank space gets filled in with something. She is…confident, a college gal, rocking at mommy’ing, learning to be whole...you get the idea. This name allows us to talk about things in the present, but also towards the future and what we are striving after as we walk the oh so many shoes we fill as women.

I knew I couldn’t do this alone as we all have a story to tell and I asked around fifteen other women to join alongside me. Some of us are married, mothers, others in college still finding out what we want in life, some love to exercise, some love fashion and so on. Can I just point out how amazing they all are? We are always better together as women supporting each other.

While you could give me all the fun parts of what we share like food and DIY all day, my hope for She Is Blank Space is for each woman to find community and encouragement from other women who have been there or are there. Although I wanted this to happen right away, we had to build our foundation and I also had to transition out of my full time job to devote the time needed. I knew it would happen, but in the meantime, remained faithful to my job as a nurse, staying up super late to prep things for the next day for posts and social media so I could use my break time to get them published. We started to bring in a steady stream of income between working with other companies and our shop, but it wasn’t quite lining up to my salary. Keep in mind, I was completely clueless about web and graphic design, traffic flow, utilizing social media for things other than posting pictures of my kids!

Around the nine month mark since our launch, it became clear we weren’t going to grow any farther until I had more time to give. With three kids five and under, being a wife, full time nurse and being involved in ministry, the only thing that could change was my job. So, I handed in my two weeks notice, which they were not happy about losing me, but understood. That leap was hard y’all; I knew the hubby and I could survive on Ramen noodles if we had to, but our kids could not. However, I had such peace knowing that this dream would not have given me without a way being made.

And boy did that happen. Money came in from a random account I had with my old job equivalent to a month's pay, one of my husband’s pay checks that never got deposited was discovered, our mortgage went down and so on. I remained baffled by this whole process, but it’s amazing to see seeds that have been planted over the course of my life blooming into something I never would have imagined for myself.

So here we are, right in the middle of this amazing venture, and it’s time. It’s time to dig in a little deeper, truly bringing realness, vulnerability, love. In a world full of perfect social media pictures, we are going to those places that are hard, but necessary for growth. As a person with a love of gardening, it’s easiest to explain it this way: before new blooms can be achieved on a tree or plant, you must trim back the branches. It seems like it doesn’t make any sense to “hurt” the plant, but it triggers it to say, “hey, I’ve got work to do, I’m stagnant, I’ve stopped growing, I’ve wilted, I need to wake up, I need to grow again.”

So how about we bloom together as we find our courage to become, ok? Life is far too short to be walked out without purpose or in dry, empty places. For you, your friends, your family-let’s jump into our dreams together and allow ourselves to be willing to hear and act upon the tugs of our hearts.

Doesn't Ashley exude warmth and joy?! I think she does!!!!!!!!!!!

You can keep up with Ashley and She Is Blank Space here

Web - Instagram - Facebook - Twitter -Pinterest

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Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Emily B. Cummins

Four years ago, I decided to put permanent ink on my body. What I didn’t know back in 2012 was that those eight little letters inscribed on my wrist would become the anthem of my life and spark something remarkable in those around me as well.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted everything to be perfect. My hair just right. My childhood ballet routines beautifully performed down to the last move. My high school backstroke technique flawless. Perfect A+ grades, never missing an assignment, not even thinking twice about getting a detention. Getting into the right colleges. Choosing the right career. Finding the perfect guy. Making the best of friends. Showing the world I’ve got it.

You know, that it factor that everyone seems to want.

But, in tear filled frustration, I always seem to come up short in comparison to the world’s standards.

Not pretty enough. Not the star swimmer on the high school swim team. Not the valedictorian of my class. No handsome stud on my side. No group of BFFs I share all of my deepest, darkest secrets with. It’s like perfection just wouldn’t come—no matter how hard I tried.

And that’s when it hit me.

I will never be perfect. I wasn’t created to reach perfection.

God created me exactly as He wants me to be—and in His eyes, I am perfectly made. Psalm 139 confirms that. He created me to love and embrace this grand adventure called life; the problem was—and is—that when I was striving so hard to reach what I deemed as “perfection,” I couldn’t truly live.

The words of Deuteronomy 30:11-14 are empowering me with the truth that I CAN do what God commands me to do. I don’t need to have anyone else explain it to me, teach it to me, or tell me to do it. Obeying God is up to me. I just have to do it, I just have to choose to be who God made me to be. Following verse 14, God lays out some life altering, eye-opening words that can’t help but grip me:

“Look at what I’ve done for you today: I’ve placed in front of you Life and Good, Death and Evil. And I command you today: Love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments, regulations, and rules so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God, your God, in the land you are about to enter and possess.”

(Deuteronomy 30:15-16, the Message)

Live exuberantly. Really live.

I want that. I want to live free of the distractions of wanting to win popularity contests. Free from fighting so hard to be perfect. Free from avoiding messy, real, authentic relationships. Free from being so afraid of getting hurt. Free from trying to avoid failure so intensely. Free from striving to win the approval of others. Free from the icy grip of shame. Free. Free to LIVE.

Each of us are on a journey. Our stories are being written day by day and I believe our stories have the potential to really do something, to change the world. But only if we let them.

It really boils down to one thing: who will I trust to write my story? Me or God?

Perfection screams, “Choose me! Choose me! Only I can control how everything turns out.” But the kind of living Deuteronomy 30 shares whispers the truth, “Choose God. He IS life. If you choose Him, you choose life.” When I choose to open my hands and release my grip on false control, I’m no longer striving to “do” anything; I’m simply “being” in His presence, trusting Him to “do” for me that which only He can do.

I am becoming, becoming who God made me to be.

Each day a page of my story is being written into the threads of time and being woven into the very fabric of who I am. As I stand looking at the pages before me, I’m making a daily decision to choose to embrace this grand adventure called life and to trust the God who created me in the first place to continue to write the story of Emily. I am choosing to be her.

One of my favorite quotes from Shauna Niequist explains it this way: “This season is about becoming…walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe God is good & life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.” (Shauna Niequest, Bittersweet)

And that is why I chose to have “becoming” tattooed to my wrist. Every single time I look at my left hand, I’m reminded that life is a grand adventure. I’m reminded that the pursuit of perfection isn’t what God created me for. I’m reminded that I am made perfectly in Christ. I’m reminded to trust Him to write my story. I’m reminded to live exuberantly. But, most importantly, I’m reminded to embrace becoming me.

And from where I stand today in 2017, this idea of “becoming” is permeating everything I do and has sparked a movement of women around the world through BecomingMe.TV.

It’s embedded in my writing, ingrained in my thoughts, and interwoven in my conversations with those around me. It’s taken root in the reason why I get out of bed every morning and the hope I hang on to when the rain clouds come. Its my passion, my heart’s cry, my word.

I see women around me becoming who God made them to be too. I see them courageously battling life’s struggles and risking loving people who just might not love them back. I see them trying, setting aside the fear of failure and running towards incredible victory. I see life change. I see redemption. I see courage. I see becoming.

My battle cry is to invite women on the personal and courageous journey of becoming who God made them to be. That’s why I turn off my alarm clock and get out of bed each morning. That’s why I write. That’s why I dream. That’s why BecomingMe.TV exists, partnering with women as they’re becoming who God made them to be too through Blog Series, Becoming Stories, and Events. In becoming me, I see those around me becoming too and can’t help but be inspired and encouraged on the journey.

This journey isn’t just mine. We are all becoming and I want to invite you to join me. It’s time we lace up our boots, throw fear and perfection into the wind and live fully. Let’s be who God made us to be. Together, let’s become.

Essay by: Emily B. Cummins

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Guys, don't you want to go see Emily in person? ME TOO!!!!!! She is doing big, huge things to remind us that we are loved just as we are and that we were made perfectly. God didn't overlook qualities when he knitted us together - we have all that we need to live our lives well, richly and full of love and purpose. Thank you, Emily!!!!! 

Emily’s Instagram:  Emily’s Twitter:  Emily’s Facebook:

BecomingMe.TV Website: BecomingMe.TV Instagram:  BecomingMe.TV Twitter: BecomingMe.TV Facebook:

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Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Ginger King Birnbaum

This is going to sound ridiculously oversimplified, but I just want to make things better.  There is a childlike wonder in that-it comes off in an idyllic sense.  But there really is no other way to put it.  I have, and have always had, an inner drive to make things better.

I have always been drawn to the greater good.  In fact, the thing that scares me the most is that I would leave this Earth without making a difference.  Some people have a bucket list full of grand adventures, but mine is mostly full of making a difference and leading others to do the same.

When my second child, King, was born we found out that he would be living with cystic fibrosis, a chronic progressive disease that can lead to respiratory failure.  You can only imagine that for a person who just wants to make things better it was deeply devastating, at first.

Even with my first child, Emma Virginia, who was born perfectly healthy, I had fallen into a deep postpartum depression.  Just in case you need a visual: me, a glider, a large box of graham crackers, and one very nervous husband + a (beautiful, precious, amazing;) crying baby.  My husband attempted to remove the box of graham crackers (perhaps to motivate me to leave the room!) and I cried, “please don’t take them-they’re all that I have.”  We laugh about it now, but it was clear that I needed some real help to overcome my depression!

Fast forward 3 years, and I was very worried that I would wind up in the same place.  It was like I had to stare myself down to move past the sadness of my child’s diagnosis.

I remember clearly finding a shift in my lens that clarified it all, and I do mean all.  None of us knows what the next minute or day or year holds. My biggest fear was that I was going to lose my child, and I just couldn’t see past that.  I came to realize that death is inevitable, after all.  None of us will escape it, none of us will capture it, and we certainly won’t be invited to design it. If we live in an absolute, obsessive cycle of trying to control everything then we won’t be present for all the parts that constitute a life. 

I will always be grateful that I was presented with the opportunity to understand that so early in life.  The lesson came with plenty of heartbreak, but it also forced me to live my life in color. I also think, I hope, that it made me a better mother to both of my children.

Now, I already told you that I thrive on making things better. 

Cystic Fibrosis is a disease that lives and breathes and changes at the knee of modern medicine. Drugs have been made available that change the disease at the cellular level!  Over 50% of people living with CF are over the age of 18.  That’s like out.of.this.world amazing!  As I learned more about the advances in research the gloves came off, and I went to work.  While I was fearful for my child, I also felt incredibly lucky that our family was being given this tremendous opportunity to plug into the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation community and make a difference.

Fundraising, advocating, event planning, hiking, walking, leading, sharing, crying, laughing, meeting, connecting…if you are picturing a roller coaster then you’ve read correctly!  That’s what our family does to make a long-term difference…for all people living with CF.

Pills, feeding tubes, medications, machines, calories, crying, laughing, planning, hospitalizations, surgeries, doctor visits, researching…our own personal roller coaster.  That’s what our family does to sustain King’s health.

For the longest time sustaining King’s health was the cycle that moved me day in and day out. It became my reality.  I knew that if I kept him well, and worked furiously toward a cure at the same time, a positive parallel might well emerge.  The fear and sadness that I experienced upon his diagnosis was becoming more of a distant memory.

What I was not prepared for was the threat of our access to affordable and adequate health care being terminated.  Our family benefits from the Affordable Care Act since we purchase our insurance on the exchange.  Through the ACA we pay a whopping $40,000 a year, unsubsidized.  A deal it is not, but to go without insurance as a whole would be financially devastating and would be a roadblock to sustaining King’s health.

The more that I learned about the ACA and the health care industry in general, the more I committed myself to ensuring that all Americans have access to affordable and adequate health care.  It is unconscionable to me that anyone would consider pulling at the very fabric of someone else’s life. 

There is no federal budget important enough to send families into bankruptcy for purchasing life-saving medications.  There is no federal budget important enough to cause a child to go without their parent because their family couldn’t afford chemotherapy.  There is no federal budget important enough to cause those with a disability to go without benefits.

And so I set out to tell anyone and everyone that would listen about the importance of health care.  Some lawmakers did not want to listen to me.  Some friends misunderstood me. 

Here’s the good news: Many friends understood me.  Many others spoke out.  Many lawmakers do listen. 

Humanity is too important, too precious to ignore.  As the mother of a child with a chronic illness it is my duty to shine a light on this issue.  I won’t be enough though, and I know that. 

Once again, faced with the potential darkness at the end of the road, I’ve learned a really important lesson.  The more I try to shine my light, the more I come to love and appreciate those around me.

I take comfort in knowing that I have traversed some scary valleys before and come out on the other side to a life lived in full color.  A smart woman taught me that lesson once.

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Guys, I know you want to know more...because I did!! So I asked Ginger a few extra questions. Here's what she had to say. 

What job did you have before advocacy?

So you know this isn't really a job for me, right?  Nothing I do gets me paid.  I'm 100% volunteer advocate, event planner, and fundraiser.  You could say that I am a professional volunteer:)  I think I will go back to work eventually, but the conundrum of child care + work has not made sense yet.

The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is not the only group I volunteer with.  After Emma Virginia was born, I knew that I wanted to spend my time giving back to my community and connecting with my community.  I had to give some of that "work" up once King was diagnosed and I knew I needed to focus mostly on CF.

Currently, I have leadership roles and do volunteer work with the Center for Mindful Living, Junior League of Chattanooga, Lookout Mountain School (PTA President this year because girrrrrl clearly I don't have enough going on:), and local and national roles with the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

CFF roles-Other than Advocacy, I am the local Board President, Chair of Three Blind Wines (local fundraiser), Founder of Kenneth King's Believers National Family Team, National Family Team Program Co-Chair, Great Strides Leadership Council Chair, and I just Co-Chaired the National Volunteer Leadership Conference (which was AWEsome!).

I really started focusing a lot on Advocacy because I had no choice + I enjoy it.  For several years, I have joined a large group of CF Advocates for the CFF sponsored March on the Hill where we share our stories with Congress and Senate.  With the repeal of the ACA I knew that I needed to be more involved year-round.  Literally, if these bills go through I don't know what we will do for King.

What does a normal day look like?

A normal day in our house is anything but!  King requires hours of respiratory therapy which include 3 inhaled medications and a vest that shakes him to get the mucus to loosen in his lungs.  He also has to be hooked up to a feeding tube every night.  It has become our normal, but it certainly colors the way that we go about our day.  This year he and Emma Virginia are both at Lookout Mountain School in Kindergarten and third grade.  It has definitely changed the flow of schedule with them being out of the house for so many hours.  I have been spending a lot of time at the school since I am PTA President this year-it's been tons of fun!  Some people say that they will never do things like that, but I always knew that I would want to give of my time in that capacity.  It's so special to be a part of the school community.

And how did you get through PPD? 

By the grace of God, a supportive family, the right medication, meditation and yoga, and sometimes I'm not sure that it really is over.  I literally had to learn to breathe again after King was diagnosed.  That sounds crazy, but it is 100% true.  That is one of the main reasons that I agreed to join the Board at the Center for Mindful Living.  It saved me in a lot of ways.  Pausing sounds like it is such a simple thing to do, but it is not.  I think the whole world could benefit from pausing and breathing and just slowing down in general.  I go 90 miles a minute, but I also try hard to listen to my body and mind.

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Oh my gosh. Isn't Ginger a force?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can contribute to Cystic Fibrosis or learn more here and you can jump on the support train for Kenneth, Ginger's son here on Facebook. 

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Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Angela Lally

Tonight we are so happy to be featuring Angela Lally. She shares a wonderful, uplifting word. I know her trust in the Lord will inspire you! 

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What was your first job?

My first job after college (well, after working at a summer camp!) was in Communications and Public Relations.

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?

What I'm doing now! Haha But really, ever since I discovered I had a natural knack for photography in high school, I dreamed of somehow doing it full time, but I always thought that it wasn't possible for me to actually make a living doing just photography. Thankfully, the Lord had bigger plans for this talent He's given me and lined up numerous circumstances and opportunities to lead me to where I am today: Two years of running my photography business full time!

How did it feel getting started?

A bit nerve-wracking, freeing, and exciting, all at once! I knew this was where the Lord was leading me, so I was comfortable with the "uncomfortableness" of it and from the beginning trusted my business to Him. Ultimately, I know that despite any efforts I make on my own, any accomplishments, all the hours put into it, it is all His. He is the one that gives and provides, and I am so thankful that He's continued to do so in a way that allows me the gift of doing what I love as a career.

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started.

One of the biggest obstacles I faced after figuring out that I one day wanted to quit my full time Communications job to run my business full time was being in between both of those things: Knowing that at the time I needed that job and trying to be present and fully there after knowing that it wasn't what I wanted to do forever.

I did learn through that process that when the Lord is ready for you to move on, he makes it CLEAR.

My initial plans were to go full time into photography in two years... two months later, that turned into me planning on leaving at the end of that year, which then turned into me leaving on a Friday and giving my two weeks notice on Monday. Looking back, I can recognize that a lot of that was Him getting me to the point of trusting him FULLY with providing and not depending on my savings account as a safety net. Since making the transition to full time, He has grown my business and given me favor in ways that I never would have imagined and faster than I could have hoped.

My verse for my business from day one has been Psalm 16:5: "The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot." It reminds me to trust the Lord's provision and to be satisfied with whatever He gives, however he choses to (or not to) give it.

What keeps you motivated?

I absolutely LOVE the idea of getting to capture people's genuine personalities and relationships in a photographs!! Apart from knowing the Lord, people and the relationships we have with them are the most important thing in the world. To be able to capture that in a tangible photograph is such a gift. Photographs can communicate so much more that we can say with our words and can open eyes to see things that may have otherwise been missed. I've seen senior girls recognizing that they ARE pretty for the first time after seeing an image on the back of my camera. I've captured cherished moments for clients with family members that are no longer here. I get to witness and document marriages of couples who have said the MOST important thing on their wedding day is that God is glorified. And as long as the Lord wills, I will keep capturing as many of these moments and people that I can.

Which living person do you most admire?

My mom - 100%. Throughout all of the crazy circumstances she has been through in her life, she has remained steadfast in trusting the Lord and having faith in Him to do what He has said He will and to be who He has promised He is. I don't know anyone else who has a stronger faith than she does.

Which talent would you most like to have?

I would LOVE to be able to play the piano!! I know a little bit from friends teaching me / YouTube videos here and there, but I don't actually own one... so I guess I need to fix that first! Perfect pitch would be a fun one too!

What is your most marked characteristic?

Apart from photography, I think my friends and family would say my relationship with the Lord. Or that I am friendly and "sweet." :) 

What is your motto?

The past four years have been some hard ones. There have been a lot of transitions, uncertainties and circumstances that I wasn't expecting, and Lord has kept bringing me back to the first few verses of Psalm 37:

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act... Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him..." 

These verses have been a "home base" for me the past few years and have helped ground me and remind me where to stay focused when I was uncertain of everything else.

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

Owning and running my own business for two years full time, for sure! Another one would be growing to a point where I could hire my mom to work with me.

What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?

Only the Lord. When I get overwhelmed, stressed or anxious, it's most likely because I'm not fully trusting Him, I'm placing more value on things that ultimately aren't as important as what He has placed in front of me to care for, or for whatever reason I'm struggling with trusting where He's leading when I can't see the next step. Spending time with Him and in the Word keep me grounded.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

Trust the Lord's hand at work in your life and HIS timing. Also, be faithful where He has you with what He has placed in front of you to care for. Don't try to rush ahead or just wish away the hard seasons... those are often the ones I have learned the most about His character in. It sounds cliche, but keep the main thing (Him) the main thing, and keep trusting Him with the rest -- even if it's over and over every day. He's patient with us, His plans are greater, and He will never fail. 

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Angela's words and trust in God are inspirational and frankly - peaceful. Her words remind me that God's got it under control and we just have to trust. 

She is seriously beyond delightful and I know you'll want to follow her journey! 

You can find Angela here on her web site, Angela Lally Photography and on Facebook and Instagram. 

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Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Katie Taylor

Hi, I’m Katie.

I think I may get personal with this, which is kind of unlike me. I love talking about what I do: I’m a mom, a wife, a child life specialist, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a blogger and even a podcast host.  I’m actually pretty proud of myself about all these things, I worked REALLY hard for a lot of them, so I love talking about them. But, rarely, do I talk about a part of my life that was incredibly transformative:

I got divorced. 

Laura Morsman Photography

A lot of people look at me, like, YOU?! You got DIVORCED? Yep, sure did. And, to say it was a difficult part of my life is an understatement. To say it was a “valley” doesn’t go deep enough. To say it was the hardest decision I’ve ever made… well, that may be pretty accurate.

And the truth is that I will never say that I regret getting married (the first time), because as much as a cliche as it is, I learned so much about myself.

So when Catia asked me to write in her Courage to Become series, I originally thought that I’d talk about following my dream of being a child life specialist and then creating an opportunity to host a podcast, but that would be too easy. However, talking about the Courage to Become Myself, which is what I did that day in 2012 when I moved out of the home I shared with my ex-husband, is hard as hell.

I let a lot of people down when my marriage ended. Him, his family, mutual friends, my own friends who didn’t understand and wedding guests that had spent hundreds of dollars to attend my wedding across the country barely a year before. For a Type 2 Enneagram “Need to be Needed” person (I learned this in marriage counseling the first go round), letting people down KILLED me. Literally, it felt like a knife in my stomach every time the thought crossed my mind.

But, with the help of a counselor, I took a step back and looked at my relationship for what it was and what it was giving to me. It wasn’t doing much for me. So with a family behind me who supported me unconditionally, I took a step away.

Yes, I’m incredibly lucky that I had a safety net of people with their arms wrapped around me, but the truth is, what I did took courage. I stepped away from what I thought was a sure-thing, the-rest-of-my-life, secured-future and I went into the unknown.

Leaving was lonely as hell, even with a friend in the same apartment building as me. Even with a boss and friend who opened their arms and their homes and took me in the week I left. Even with a mom and dad who flew to my city to help me move, it was lonely. I cried a lot. Going to bed alone, watching House Hunters (I had always pictured how the two of us would be in a house), only pouring one cup of coffee.

But, that part was the valley for me, and the good part about the valley is that there is a peak afterward. I continued seeing a counselor, I poured myself into work, and I vowed that if I ever loved again (which I thought would never happen), I would make sure that the person I loved truly loved me for everything that I was. If he didn’t, no big deal, he just wouldn’t be right for me. As terrifying as it was to leave, I truly left stronger than I did entering that relationship. 

I thought that dating would be scary, it had been so long since I had thought about someone else in a loving way. Of course it was in some ways, but in others, it wasn’t… because I was dating FOR ME. If they weren’t interested, I had nothing to lose, I had already lost it all. If they didn’t meet my expectations, no big deal, I’d just say goodbye.

I guess I just had come to the conclusion that it will only take ONE person to meet the expectations I had set for my life. Just one. My expectations were no longer “too high,” because they were mine, I determined them based on the life that I wanted. And that was incredibly freeing.

So, while I continue to go on this journey of the Courage to Become… Me, I am proud of myself for stepping into the unknown and leaving the comfortable. Because of the path I chose, I’m now on the road to living my best life, with a husband by my side who met every “high” expectation I had (with ease), with a son who brings me more joy than my heart could ever dream of, and with a career that fulfills my soul on a daily basis. Yes, there are valleys, yes there are challenges, but it seems as though treading through the dark parts has consequently brought me to the light.

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Guys, Katie is full of heart. She DEFINITELY makes the world a better place. 

To listen to her amazing podcast - click here. You can find, Child Life On Call, on Facebook and Instagram and iTunes of course! 

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Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Rachel Lily Campbell

There are so many “things” I have accomplished in my short 33 years of existence.  I have had a lot of life experiences that have been teaching, growth producing, fun, hard and joyful.  You could say I’ve had a pretty full life up until now.  So, as I was reflecting on what I truly feel the most proud of, it’s the absolute certainty of who I am as a woman, that only comes from the experiences life brings. 

Being a girl is tough.  From birth we are held to a lot of expectations that only get more and more intricate as we get older.  Motherhood is no different.  Combine the pressure and the expectations of womanhood and motherhood, and the lack of genuine support I believe all woman need, it’s TOUGH.

So, we learn to cope right?  We settle because that’s what we think we are supposed to do.  We stay in careers that don't challenge us, under bosses that don’t value us. Or, we stay in relationships that don’t serve us; we don't set clear boundaries of how we expect to be treated, and we feel guilty when we do finally speak up.  We give in to the pressures of the media, and dishonor our bodies with erratic eating habits.  We workout as punishment for our bodies betraying us, instead of celebration for what it has done for us.  I have been ALL of these places.  I have been all of these versions.  Until, I was forced, to become who I was meant to be. 

I want to tell you that I had this super epic “a-ha” moment and I was brave and blasted through low self esteem and came out victorious and now I’m about to share with you the secret “I LOVE LIFE” potion.  But, that’s not my story.  I was FORCED to be brave, and in that journey of becoming, is where I found the courage to finally, and unapologetically be me.

Tell us a little bit about yourself:

I was born and raised in LA and NYC to 2 very nontraditional artsy parents. I was painstakingly insecure - but very outgoing, which was a confusing mixture for me growing up.  I struggled for years with debilitating eating disorders, that almost killed me. I found recovery a few times but nothing permanent until I gave birth to my son 3 years ago. 

Pre-motherhood I worked for 10 years in the beauty industry before I got married to a conservative football loving, country boy, and desperately tried to fit the mold of the small town housewife. Fast forward a year or so later, I was suffocated and had completely lost my sense of self, but I was pregnant with my baby boy, the baby boy who would soon turn me into a mommy, which was the most soul shattering, earth crushing rebirth of my own self.

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?

This question is tough.  I still dream of doing big things.  Helping others in HUGE ways, and really changing the world. 

But on a smaller scale, when I was married,  I just knew the marriage I was in wasn’t for me. This baby boy inside of me deserved a mommy who was sure of who she was. Living in her authentic self.  I was such a shell of who I knew I was made to be.  I knew I needed to rebuild, and I couldn’t do it there.   My son's father and I decided to divorce when he was just 4 months old.  I moved to Austin and started a business, all while still in the throws of new motherhood, cluster feedings, sleepless nights, and my divorce. 

How did it feel getting started?

I wasn’t scared.  Maybe it was the adrenaline, I think I was in survival mode. Failure wasn’t an option.  I believed in what I was doing.  I knew it would help me, I knew it would help others, and I knew I could do it.

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started? 

Every new business venture has obstacles.  I knew there would be financial hardship in the beginning, but I failed to realize that this was MY business, this was something I was SO passionate about.  Not everyone would share this sentiment initially, so I was really disappointed when the first few months I was in business, I literally had not one client.  I couldn’t figure out why every single other mom wasn’t on my level of excitement here.  Throw in a few weeks of EPIC storms and flooding, it made for a miserable first quarter in business.

What motivates you?

My son. Hands down, he is my hero.  Becoming a mother transformed me.  It brought about a version of me that is stronger and braver than I ever knew.  He is the reason for so many decisions in my personal and professional life, and being accountable for raising a human from the ground up is not only humbling but it has been the absolute joy of my lifetime.

Which living person do you most admire?

Oh I feel like I have so many answers to this! I admire so many different people, for so many different reasons.  I would have to say all of the moms I know.  We truly are a different breed of superhero.  The selflessness that goes into motherhood, is HEROIC.  Every single mother I have the opportunity to know, inspire me.

Which talent would you most like to have?

I wish I could dance.  Like really dance.  Think Janet Jackson.  Yes, that would be amazing!

What is your most marked characteristic?

I would say my energy and my enthusiasm for life is what I get complimented the most on. I am just as PUMPED about a new flavor of coffee creamer as I am when my son learns a new skill!

What is your motto? 

I cannot take credit for this, as it’s by one of my favorite authors, Marianne Williamson but I have lived by this for so many years, “We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

Starting and growing my business and raising my son. I’m sure there is more, but right now, in this season of life, these are at the forefront of my accomplishments

What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud? 

God, wine, girlfriends. IN THAT ORDER.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

You are capable of amazing things. We, as women, were built for so much more that we think.  Just keep swimming.

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Rachel is real and she is joy and she is a gift!!!! If you're in the Austin area - check out class opportunities here on the web site and for some daily feel good and motivation - follow Stroller Strides on Instagram and Facebook. 

You will be so grateful to be part such a wonderful community of mamas lead by such an amazing spirit! 

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Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Alex Zeplain

I am a woman who really wants it all. I want a career, I want a personal life, I want my health, I want to be a present mom, and I want happiness. I have come to learn that I can have it all, but it won't all be at the same time. AND, that I am in control of defining what having it all means to me.

This way of living is a constant work in progress for me. Currently, I am the mother of a soon to be 3 year old boy; a wife to a hard working, entrepreneurial man; a caregiver to my mother; and founder of Hello My Tribe (to name a few of my roles).

With clients at Tribe

In a past life, I was a “professional” volunteer and founder of a nonprofit that promoted philanthropy and had great success. For years, this work was my identity, and when I stepped away from this career, I went through a huge life transformation becoming a wife and stay at home mom. Identity crisis…ding, ding, ding!

Due to my roles in the community and my career choices, most people are surprised to find out that I have social anxiety and am much of an introvert. I am learning to say “no” more and to choose activities that fill my cup, rather than empty it. And I am constantly striving to live a more balanced and honest life after experiencing Postpartum Depression and being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2016.

I find my journey to be full of blessings. And to be present calls for me to simplify life, to slow down, and to do what makes me happy.

Heather Gallagher Photography

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway? 

I share a lot about my ideas before getting started. I think doing this is part of the process, but also out of fear. I often look to others for validation. Is this a good idea, or am I crazy? I spent a little over a year talking and researching my idea for Tribe before taking the first actual steps to get it off the ground.

How did it feel getting started? 

I tend to jump into things pretty quickly, but sometimes it’s just what you have to do to finally take that leap. With Hello My Tribe, our Austin, TX fitness/childcare studio is not a business I can turn on and off on a daily basis, or really speed up or slow down at this time. The problem with this is that in the beginning, I became quickly overwhelmed and didn’t have opportunities to play catch up. There was such a strong response to our pop up studio —600 unique women came through our doors over a 6-month period.

Absolutely fantastic, proved the idea, and a great learning experience.

But what also happened was that I didn’t have the proper tools or team in place to make the studio sustainable. Therefore, I was doing work that I wasn’t good at and that I didn’t enjoy doing. So guess what? I made a very hard decision to close the pop up studio so that I could take a step back to re-evaluate and make a better plan for the future.

Moms Night Out at Tribe

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started.

The BIGGEST obstacle I face over and over again is creating a sustainable business. My ideas take teams of people from the start. And this takes funding, which I don’t have outside of my own personal investment. I often feel alone, overwhelmed, and frustration that I can’t move any faster.

What motivates you?

I always have very clear missions with my work. With CharityBash/Cititzen Generation, my goals were to create the habit of giving and to provide opportunities for people to give back to the community. I was able to see these goals come to life every single day. And with Tribe, my goal is to help women and mothers lead healthy and happy lives. Again, I get to see this happening on a daily basis.

Which talent would you most like to have? 

Public speaking of any kind…in front of people, a camera, or microphone. I have major anxiety when it comes to this. I push myself to participate in these activities, though, and then take long breaks in between. I have learned that facing my fears head on is where I will grow the most.

What is your most marked characteristic?

Probably how open I am with my struggles, although this is somewhat of a new thing for me.

What is your motto?

Be selfish in the right ways. Love yourself. Put yourself first.

Heather Gallagher Photography

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

Admitting I suffered from Postpartum Depression. When I first shared this in May 2016, it was a small snippet, but it ripped the band-aide off. I felt a weight lifted. Since then, I share more and more as time goes on and as I heal.

What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud? 

I feel so much better when my current to do list is cleaned up. Doesn’t it feel good to cross items off?! But then I also sometimes just say fuck it and stop. I’m overwhelmed, I’m exhausted so what good is it going to do if I keep on going in that very moment? The last thing I want to do is get depleted and not be able to move forward at all. 

Feature photo: Heather Gallagher Photography

Essay by: Alex Zeplain

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Oh yes!!! I feel Alex 100%. Don't you? If you'd like to keep up with her or with Tribe - you can follow her adventures on Instagram and on Tribe's Web Site. I have been blessed to have Alex and Tribe and part of my life and I am so grateful! 

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Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Amber Ford Anderson

The Courage to Become a Relationship Coach

As a wedding planner, I’m often asked if I have many bridezillas. My answer is always “more momzillas than anything” and yup, it’s true. The mommas are living vicariously through their daughters and it’s batty. Like get a grip woman. I’m sorry you only had cake and punch in the chapel but no one forced you to save sixty grand for your daughter so just stop. In my opinion, that chapel wedding you had in the 70s was probably darling and perfectly all it needed to be. And even if it was the horrible day of your memories, why make this one so hard on everyone?

There are so many stories I could tell. I’ve started a book actually. It’s so snarky and riddled with my own attitude that I could never publish it under my own name. So for now, it’s just free therapy and a diary that I hope holds me accountable to the way I treat service professionals across other industries.

My overall assessment is that weddings and engagement are so high stress that they bring out the worst in people. Perfection is not just expected, it’s demanded. The mindset of many clients is unrealistic, selfish and sometimes even dangerous. I’ve had two clients insist on things that would have put their guests in harm’s way. Who does that? It’s a little ridiculous that my lawyer had to draft a clause in my contract about minding basic safety. Like lightening. No, we will not conduct your ceremony, by a running creek, under an oak tree in a lightening storm. I’m sorry that’s so hard to imagine.

I spent the first half of my career in weddings being beaten to a pulp by clients that just didn’t get it. Horrible humans that treated me like a door mat. I could have hung the moon or written a step by step guide on how to win the lottery and they would still come back saying I got it wrong….because you know, they only won a million, not two million. 

I would give and give and they would take until I had nothing more to give and they still weren’t happy. I neglected my family, I worked more hours than I knew possible and I was so overwhelmed.

Until one day when I had the courage to say “enough!” I put on my #bossbabe pants, put my foot down and took back control of my life and business. My first step was to realize that as a start-up, I’d accepted any joker willing to pay the bills. But that wasn’t going to work anymore. As I started to unpack the nitty gritty about the clients I did love working with, I realized they were all just like me. I mean, I think I’m pretty great so it’s no wonder I was liking those clients.

I made a mental shift when talking to potential clients, I began interviewing them. Because newsflash people: the customer is not always right and sometimes, biz owners get to decide if they want to work with you. It goes both ways. I began interviewing clients for emotional intelligence and everything changed.

To find clients that I enjoyed, I began really putting myself out there. Turns out, not everyone likes me but the ones that do, oh man… we have an awesome time! We are a great fit, things go super well and they sing my praises.

My courage to become meant saying YES to being comfortable with me and who I am.

Simple as it sounds, take me or leave me.

I like you, I’d love to work with you, but I don’t need you unless you need me. I stopped fitting a mold. I stopped batting my eyelashes like I was on a pathetic first date and I broke the rules by turning my website into a reflection of me.  Snarky, prophetic, to the point, fun and transparent in my faith. Now, by the time clients contact me, they have me on their short list and have already mapped out a way to afford my services. I don’t have to “convince” them and I’m never asked for discounts anymore. They see my value, because I see my value and I stand confident in it.

I absolutely love my clients now. They get me. I get them. We have fun. We are friends and I genuinely care about their relationships. They are healthy and doing well! I am cheering them on. But sadly, I have no doubt that quite a few of our first clients are surely divorced by now. I sent one bride down the aisle and in no less than five minutes they were clapping and heading to the reception hall. My reaction: Uh, did you give those vows half a brain cell of thought? In my mind, I gave them all of a year before tanking.

And this one time, I experienced such a big blow out over where a cake table would go that it’s etched in my memory forever. It literally didn’t matter, there were so many great choices and they were in a relationship combat zone trying to decide. I would wonder why certain couples were together, they never seemed happy. I knew it wasn’t my place to say anything but gosh it was hard biting my tongue.

As I started to notice this shift in clientele, I realized I was facing some real opportunity. As I began to book more and more healthy clients, I was seeing the stark contrast and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I have an audience desperate to succeed in their relationships.

I never had to bite my tongue, I can see that now. I can blog about relationships and post tips and advice on Instagram and it means something. My only regret is not having realized this opportunity until now.

So for the last few months, I’ve been training to become a relationship coach through a program called SYMBIS (saving your marriage before it starts). Tell me it’s not ironic that every time I sat down to study, my husband and I would get in some tiff and I would be struck with doubt. Who am I to offer “wisdom”?  What if I fail at all the things I teach? But then I am reminded of the things our marriage has endured and I ask “who am I to withhold this wisdom?”

As a wedding planner, my focus will obviously be on engaged women. I want to share my stories, relationship tips and create content for women to evaluate the health of their relationship and empower them to be strong equals with their partners.

The content may seem obvious but there are angles that are often overlooked, like how lonely engagement can be. There is no one to talk to when a case of cold feet set in and I’m honored to be that person for my brides when they need it. To normalize those fears and be a sounding board.

I’ve always placed more emphasis on the marriage than the party but what if I had been more available to my old clients? What if I had shared my insight and hope?

I can’t live with “what ifs” but I’m so grateful for a business coach that gave me the courage to be ME. To set myself apart and serve my clients in a unique way. The shift has been life-giving and the possibilities from here are full of light and excitement.

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I just loved Amber's piece. Can't you feel her strength?! To get more wisdom from Amber, follow Heavenly Day Events here and also on Facebook  and on Pinterest!  And if your or a loved ones needs some relationship coaching or an event planner, definitely contact her here! 

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Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Dala Thomas McDevitt

“If you can’t tolerate critics, don’t do anything new or interesting” –Jeff Bezos.

I had done everything I was supposed to. Graduated high school with honors and got into the University of Texas at Austin. Responsibly worked throughout college and maintained a 3.8 GPA. Graduated in 4 years and got a job as a Labor & Delivery Nurse. Took out a lease on a Honda Civic, and began paying off the impressive student loan debt I had accrued in my pursuit of happiness. I hated Mondays and drank on Fridays, just like everyone else.

My life was cookie-cutter perfect on the outside, but inside there was an ever-present emotion of discontent and disconnect with “who” I was. Recently out of a bad relationship and living alone for the first time in my life, there was never a better time for a fresh start. With little idea about what was going to make me happier, I decided to eat healthier and workout, as these were seemingly the societal go-to’s to “feel better”. It’s always the small things that end up being the bravest and biggest steps to self-discovery.

When I cut out the crap food, I wasn’t so tired all the time. When I cut out the alcohol, I wasn’t so hungover each morning. When I started working out, it sparked a relationship with my body that wasn’t rooted in shame and self-consciousness. As my body healed, my mind was revitalized and suddenly filled with curiosity and creativity. Now willingly rising with the sun each morning, I increased my productive time by 30% and had to seek out new hobbies. Because health had been the catalyst to this awakening, I dove deeper into the subject.

Knowledge became my mentor, my body my subject, experimentation my best friend, and, interestingly, Instagram my medium of expression. I voraciously explored audiobooks, documentaries, articles, blogs, YouTube videos, anything that helped me learn more about the mind-body connection and how to enhance it. I shared my experiences through Instagram, becoming increasingly open and public about my journey, my trails, and my errors.

My acquisition of knowledge slowly engulfed previously unreachable beliefs of self-worth, self-love, mindfulness, meditation, revolutionary ideas of sexuality, and the overwhelming realization that love is most powerful of all.

I was happier, healthier, more confident, and more positive than I had ever been in my life, so you can imagine my surprise when I began receiving more negativity from others than ever before.

I was told that my new comfortability with my body was slutty, that my fervor for health was an eating disorder, that my positive rhetoric was a guised cry for help, that my aversion to alcohol and junk food was seeded in obsessive vanity, that my new lotus tattoo was impulsive and self-destructive, and my new hair cut my Britney Spears meltdown moment. It was remarkable to see how many were threatened by my campaign to like myself.

How am I supposed to keep doing what is making me happy if my loved ones are telling me I’m in desperate need of help? Don’t they know me better than anyone? Shouldn’t I listen to them? Aren’t they just trying to help me?? The alienation I felt was profound.

As I submitted to the dark loneliness I perceived to be inevitable, I was shocked to find the loneliness was more of welcoming adventure. I was content to be alone because I, for the first time, enjoyed the company. I was okay exploring my next steps without the consultations and opinions of others because I didn’t feel I needed their approval anymore.

What a revelation! My name is Dala Thomas: I like myself, I trust myself, and I have within me the courage to become the very best and most loving woman I can be.

I used social media and devoted myself to disseminating ideas of positive body image and self-love, to the creation of meal plans and workout programs to guide others in improving health, and to online coaching so that perhaps I could help other alienated women feel safe and supported.

I began to live differently, to dress differently, to carry myself differently and to speak of myself differently as the joy I felt impregnated all facets of my life. I was bursting with affection and inspiration, and knew that I was never hurting anyone else despite what problems some took up with my new lifestyle.

I had finally learned how to share my light with the world, and it was this light that found Sean and brought him to me.

Strangers on social media became my closest allies. They did not ever know the “before” Dala, only the one they saw in front of them and therefore had no inherent aversion to my transformation. The only difference between these humans and the ones originally in my life was that they did not have to endure or understand change.

As a year came and went, I saw friends and family re-enter my life when the danger they purported disintegrated to a faint illusion. I thought accepting them again after so long would be difficult, but there was now so much peace in my life that forgiveness was second nature.

The most challenging part of my journey was finding the courage to become something other than what my closest friends and family already knew me as. People will warn you not to embark on a new journey, but only because they cannot yet see your destination, and fear is the most powerful motivator of all. Your path may go against the grain of your peers, but that not does mean it is wrong. The road to self-discovery may at times be lonely, but it is better to know yourself than to know a hundred others. Act in love, and you will never be lost.

This self-realized, joyful, life-giving women is what I had to find the courage to become. The “what” is not important here; we all can and should become thousands of different things. Courage itself is the vital ingredient, giving life to your dreams and a blind eye to doubt. Muster the courage to get to know yourself, and you will find your “what”. Then share it with the world and realize the true potential of how beautiful you can be.

---

Dala is partnering with Kendra Scott on September 6th. Kendra Scott is giving back %20 of proceeds to Hospitals! I will be there, Dala will be there and so will other amazing women. We'd love to see you there! 

Kendra Scott - September 6th - 6-8pm - South Congress Location - Austin, Texas

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If you'd like to keep up with Dala, and why wouldn't you? She is seriously so uplifting and empowering - find her on Instagram or on her web site. Side note - I am a student of her Booty Program - and IT WORKS! (Not sponsored - just genuinely enthusiastic) :)

---

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!



Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Debra Giunta

The Courage to Become Patient

Earlier this spring I couldn’t get out of bed. I opened my eyes and squinted into a sunny, open window. I breathed into a summer breeze I’d spent a cold, grey, stagnant, Chicago winter craving. For a moment I was struck with the memories of spending evenings not so long ago positioning my body under a pile of blankets until I’d begin to sweat, close my eyes, and breathe deeply, imagining summer heat on my face and the smell of blooming flowers. But on this day, I pushed my body closer to the bottom edge of the bed, covered my face in blankets and shut out the breeze I’d spent what felt like a lifetime waiting for.

There was no tragedy. No dark mourning crippling me. “Go!” I could hear my best self trying, “Be outside with no coat on! Listen to pop music with the windows down!” Instead I curled myself smaller and smaller until my fetal position self was scrunched as far as possible from the top of sheets, my entryway into the rest of whatever my day would bring. I spent 40 more minutes facing off with my iPhone - silencing a snoozed alarm and shoving it further beneath the pillows as morning emails and text messages vibrated.

“Business ladies don’t do this,” I thought. They push through. Or rather, they don’t end up here. They’re thoughtful and strategic. They plan and they wait. But me, I’m messy. Most often it feels my ideas, motivation, strategy, and rationale live tangled up in a pile. I’m always subconsciously applying for a new job at my own company, Design Dance.  I started a business partly because I wanted freedom to live autonomously, to explore new ideas, job titles, versions of myself. Entrepreneurship allows me to stretch every part of me as far as it will go, constantly striving for the most expandable version of myself.

And when that’s your goal, it’s sometimes hard to determine the intersection of exploration, growth, expectations, and capacity. I am not, nor have I ever been, a woman of boundaries.

My eyes are still closed and I begin to think about the last 9 months of my business. We’ve traveled, we’ve built things, we’ve collaborated. We’ve cried, and shared and felt vulnerable with each other. Today is not particularly special, but for whatever reason it is the day I’ve realized that it’s all been too much.

In 9 months, along with my team, I’ve prepared and presented a TEDx talk, hired two staff members, executed a multi-city tour, worked to co-launch a non-profit side project, attempted to launch a storytelling series, built the start of an online product, launched a Kickstarter campaign, an event series, a personal blog, and a podcast.

In a nearly comical display of a lack of boundaries, I even volunteered my time to host someone else’s event series in my city. Each project, an expression of my very real excitement - a version of myself stretching and learning. How did it lead here - the place where getting out of bed feels impossible?

With some of our team and some of the students we teach through Design Dance.

On my best days, one could call my relationship to work “ambitious” or “energetic.” Often in retrospect, it feels “frenetic” or “irrational”. Because when ambitious ideas intersect with tighter than realistic deadlines, the excitement that used to fill them begins to drain.

On days like today, when the world seems to be asking for updates on my many started projects, I know that I’ve fallen once again into the trap of approaching projects at the speed of an invisible race I’m running with the rest of the world. A race where the finish line keeps extending at the rate of new ideas I’d like to explore until the only way you can feel about anything is “behind.”

The best thing about being your own boss is that there is no one to tell you what to work on. The terrifying thing about being your own boss is that there is no one to tell you what to work on. The amount you’re able to accomplish feels like it’s only limited to the amount of ideas you’re willing to execute. And so quickly the weight of the commitments you’ve built for yourself creeps up on you and seemingly overnight, the top of the sheets becomes an entryway into a to-do-list-prison you’ve built for yourself.

I arrived to work that day at 10am with the help of my boyfriend, my cat, and a cup of very strong homemade coffee. I struggled to normalize myself through meetings with my staff, grappling with the strong dissonance between my fetal position bed self and my business owner self. At lunch I sat at my desk and opened a word document.

What do you need? I wrote at the top.

Inside, I knew what I needed to write but it took me 20 whole minutes to write it.

I need to stop, I finally wrote.

I didn’t need to stop running a business or having ideas or being energetic, but doing everything at once was killing me.

When I attempt to come to terms with why I live in this cycle, and why it feels like I always have it’s the same reason I struggle to save money, why I always need to eat my snacks in the car on the way home from the grocery store, or why I can’t watch a long movie. I’m impatient. The concept of patience is a difficult one for me.

At it’s core, it asks that I feel excited about a vision, but then wait indefinitely to see it come to life. It asks that I hold onto something valuable, wait, enjoy the process. In some ways, patience asks that I risk the things I hold most dear to me; What if I lose the magic of an early stage idea? What if the excitement my teammates have fades over time? What if after a while, I realize this idea is no good and then I’ll have wasted time? What if it turns out I’m wrong?

Acting quickly allows me to leverage my excitement, but my speed also means that my surroundings blur together and I lose the value of learning from the process, the joy of the execution itself, and the ability to create work I’m truly proud of.

It’s been a few months since I’ve struggled to get out of bed. And from the outside I probably appear exactly the same, but I know that I’m practicing something new. For the first time, I’m answering questions with “not right now” or “I’m working on it” or “I’ve decided to take a break from that.” And while allowing myself to let go of the hold I once had on my ideas is scary, it’s also one of the most empowering experiences I’ve ever had. Having patience to get to the finish line means you leave space to connect with who and what you want right now. It means you’re enough because you’re “doing work you’re proud of,” not because you’re “doing so much”.

Patience brings you back to the day to day reason you’re working at all.

Somewhere in the pile of things you planned to do is the reason you started in the first place.

This piece from Debra hit home for me, BIG TIME! 

For more gems and to keep up with Debra and her amazing work - check her out on her web site and on Instagram. 

To bring Debra Giunta to your school or program - contact her here. You'll be so glad you did! 

---

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!



Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Tory DeOrian

Tell us a little bit about yourself

My name is Tory and I'm a professional children's and commercial illustrator! I work from home which means I snack a lot and go to bed really late. I could not be more grateful for my juicy creative life and I absolutely want to inspire others to reach their fullest creative potential. Some of my clients include Snapchat, Taco Bell, San Francisco Pride and Starbucks. I'm also lucky to be represented by the lovely Kelly Sonnack of Andrea Brown Literary Agency, for my picture books which are underway!

After college I started a group for young women, a creative/happiness club in which we all dedicated ourselves to a personal creative project, worked on bad habits, and essentially supported each other's creative and personal enrichment. It was revitalizing, and I dream of doing it on a much larger scale someday. 

Aside from Illustration and Graphic Design, my fun jobs in the past have included: working as an intern for Disney, spending several years as a glittery children's entertainer (faerie/princess/mermaid) for Happily Ever Laughter Parties, and putting blush on people for two years as a Studio Makeup Artist for Smashbox Cosmetics. After getting my degree in Graphic Design, I went to makeup school in Portland, then two years later I moved to SoCal to earn my certificate in Children's Illustration at UC San Diego. I love school.

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?

I've got two for you!

#1- Makeup Artistry. A very intimidating art form, right?! For some reason I was called to it toward the end of my senior year in college so I went to Portland for a 3 month makeup program. After earning my Makeup Certification I was able to do makeup alongside freelance Graphic Design + Illustration and it ended up being a wonderful job where I met all different types of amazing women. I'm so glad I faced my fear...My first day of makeup school I hardly knew what blush was even for. 

Makeup ended up being an excellent career option, but Illustration was always my calling. So:

#2- Illustration...Except, Illustration never made me feel afraid! It was something I would do to relax, calm down, enjoy myself, and impress my parents with. Learning the Adobe programs was a SCARY thought at first but you catch on quick and it's not the kind of struggle you anticipate. (DO NOT let that stop you from being a digital artist. Eventually it's like playing a creative video game where the controls are second nature.) While growing up, making art was the ultimate escape. From drawing during 6th grade math lectures, to painting late into the night in high school. 

How did it feel getting started?

Making the decision to major in Art in college is when it all really started. I was originally a Psych major (because I wanted to help people) but changed my major to Graphic Design immediately after learning what Graphic Design was. Then I'd say my career really started when I got hired to illustrate for Taco Bell at VIDCON 2016. I had to travel for the opportunity but I was so grateful and excited that I would have done the job for free. Not once has it ever been about the money.

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started Illustrating. 

The obstacles I faced starting out were mostly: 

1) Quality. Frustration with the quality of my artwork. I would think "Why can't I get my art to look like I want it to? I have a vision in my head but the end result is not as good." The answer is practice, detail, and refining your technique. 

2) Time. Working a day job is definitely an obstacle. But I would illustrate after I got home from work, spend 12 hours at my desk on my days off, assign myself new things every week. You have to relentlessly participate in the manifestation of your own blessings, as Elizabeth Gilbert says. 

What motivates you to Illustrate? 

You know that little mini happy bubbling feeling inside when something clicks? (Same when a comedian makes an entire audience laugh, or a pro basketball player makes their shot.) I love that feeling of a project coming together. It's also that I have so many tons of ideas, I get depressed and mentally agitated when I'm not working on them. 

Making my clients happy is also a huge motivation. I'll spend much longer than I need to on a project in order to make sure it matches their vision.

Which living person do you most admire?

My dad. He was a police officer for 33 years until he safely retired, thank goodness. He's an artist too, and his questions about my dream to become a professional artist were never laced with doubt. He encourages me to grow and take every opportunity that presents itself. "Leave no stone unturned." He says. 

Which talent would you most like to have?

If I could sing I would be on stage just like Katy Perry dressed like a cupcake wearing glittery makeup. It's hard to find an excuse to do that on stage as an illustrator!

What is your most marked characteristic?

I'm super tall so, that! But as an artist, it's my wildly colorful style that people somehow always recognize. 

What is your motto?

Always have something to look forward to. 

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

Since I'm 25 years old, having done projects for several big clients AND signing an agent all within the same year is something I feel grateful for and proud of. I didn't expect so many of my dreams to come true all at once but I guess since I literally illustrate sometimes for 14 hours a day and research opportunities obsessively that's the result. Being prolific is essential to success. 

What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud? 

During Oprah's Life You Want Tour, I remember Iyanla Vanzant getting on stage in all her vigor asking "Haven't you always been there for yourself??" I try to keep in mind that being stuck is all a part of the process; you've been stuck before and you'll be stuck again. As my dad says 'Don't force it!' Actually, just last night I was struggling with a pattern illustration, I woke up today and finished it by 1pm! Being that I illustrate anywhere from 8-14 hours a day, I get stuck a lot but I also get through it a lot! 

What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

I could talk your ear off with advice! As a seeker of guidance and knowledge at every turn, I'm more than happy to pass along what I know. 

A general piece of advice which I learned as an intern for Disney in regards to being prolific: 

Don't just make one piece of art, make 10. (Numbers 9 and 10 will probably end up being your best and you'll have more work to choose from.) Don't just come up with two or three ideas, come up with 20 or 30. (This way your ideas are more unique to you.) Don't just set two goals for the day, set five. (Then when you achieve almost all if not all of them, it's more than you would just having set two.) This, I've found, has been my secret to success.

Let me break it down into categories: 

If you're looking into freelance graphic-design/illustration/photography: 

Make the kind of work you want to be hired to do. If you're looking at a magazine ad or illustration on an app and you think "Hey! I bet I could do that! How can I get hired to do that??" Research, research, research the opportunities out there. Obsessively build your portfolio until it's really freaking good. Keep a list of contacts of art directors and inquire about opportunities when you're ready. (For example, when I've built enough of an editorial/magazine illustration portfolio, only then can I begin to reach out to those people.) Continue to build your knowledge base through taking classes (Good online classes I recommend: Lynda.com and skillshare.com. Skillshare is the more fun and quirky of the two, Lynda offers sophisticated technical knowledge.) Once you begin to get clients, you muse never miss a deadline. I once read this advice: "Be super honest with your clients and make them happy." This is something I live by as a freelancer.

If you're looking into picture book writing and/or illustration:

There are several good schooling programs out there. I chose the UC San Diego Extension program for Picture Book Illustration, which took me a year to complete and ended up being absolutely amazing! You MUSTjoin the SCBWI and attend conferences and meetings, read the monthly SCBWI magazine/bulletin that gets mailed to you. You also must be actively working on your writing and/or illustrating several times a week if not every day when you get home from work. Make it your new obsession. Learn about different publishers and figure out what you'll need in your portfolio to be ready to query agents. Design promotional mailers you can mail to art directors. Also, join twitter because the #kidlit world essentially lives there! 

Also, make a list of assignments for yourself.  Research events, classes, and workshops that you can take in your free time.

If you're looking into makeup artistry: 

The beauty industry is everywhere, so if you learn makeup or skincare you're likely to be able to find a job anywhere you move to. That was appealing to me. Once you learn the steps of doing makeup and understand the different types of skin (comes with experience) you're likely to get the hang of it. I like to do things step-by-step and makeup artistry ended up being exactly that! I suggest finding a makeup artistry program or taking personal makeup lessons. All of the different prestige brands (Smashbox Cosmetics, Urban Decay, IT Cosmetics- to name a few) hire freelancers to travel locally and do makeup! Shoot for those positions starting out. They pay better than makeup retail positions and you get to move around! There's also wedding makeup, working at a cosmetic counter, film and television, etc.

---

I was blessed to have known Tory. To enjoy her the beautiful work she did while she was on this earth, visit:

Tory on her web site and on Instagram for added joy! 

---

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

The Courage to Become | Chef Keesha + Chef Gloriana | Kitchun

This Season of The Courage to Become to SO exciting!!!! More than ever I am grateful to be surrounded by strong women with amazing stories of grit, determination and HOPE. 

We are kicking off Season 2 by shining a spotlight on Chef Keesha and Chef Gloriana, friends and founders of Kitchun, a company focused on providing tasty, grain-free foods. 

Tonight we are doing this conversation style! 

Tell us a little bit about yourself:
Chef Keesha:

I am married to my best friend of the last 14 years. We met in the military and within 3 months we were married. The best spontaneous decision I have ever made and I have made several! I have 3 wonderful, active, supportive children. I am a creative and always seeking to create the next best thing. I spend many nights dreaming of recipes and wake up the next day to make them happen. I am a Certified LeCordon Bleu Trained Pastry Chef, serial entrepreneur and health and fitness enthusiast.

Chef Gloriana:

I am a Wife (we met when we were 16), a mother of 2 incredible little boys and one beautiful baby girl. I am also a Le Cordon Bleu Pastry Chef, a creative entrepreneur and health and fitness is very important to me.

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
Chef Keesha:

I have always dreamt of leaving a legacy. 

And I have always been afraid of: Starting a business and attaching huge expectations of success to it.  I think starting a business was the easy part... the "scary yet exciting" part has been committing to success of it. While cliché but true -- the easiest way to fail is to not even try. So ideally I fear not trying more than anything.

Chef Gloriana:

One thing I always knew I wanted to do was be my own boss. It can be scary to take on a business of your own -- with all of the responsibility on you. Luckily I have an incredible business partner and we help each other every day to get through the trials of business ownership and learning something new every day.

How did it feel getting started?
 

Chef Keesha:

Getting started was exciting...at times it was like "wow, we are really doing this. Creating the recipes, the design process all of the fun stuff. But there was a lot of on the job training as well. I have always had the attitude of I can do anything...so I spent a lot of time reading, studying and researching the things we needed to - to start and run the business.

Chef Gloriana:
Getting started was the exciting part -- because we didn't know all the really hard stuff ahead!

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started?
 

Chef Keesha:

I think our obstacles have always been what we don't know. But they are just that...obstacles to overcome and grow from.

Chef Gloriana:

Obstacles for us have always been that we are creatives that have no business background so everything is new to us and we have to roll with the punches... and a lot of them feel like actual punches!

What motivates you to continue Kitchun?
 

Chef Keesha:

Much of my motivation comes from my family. I come from humble beginnings and decided a very long time ago that I would change that for myself, my Mom and now for my children. It has taken me many years to figure out exactly what it is that I passionately love to do. But better NOW than never.

Chef Gloriana:

Motivation for me is my children. I love that they get excited to see Mommy’s face in the grocery store aisle and get excited. Truthfully it feels pretty good to me too. I want my friends and family to see me working hard and that it is paying off -- and to be proud.

Which living person do you most admire?

Chef Keesha:

This is a difficult one, because I admire so many people for different reasons. Of course my Mother because of the strength I was able to witness as a kid and now as a mother myself.
My husband for his unconditional love for me and my dreams, other female entrepreneurs that have rocked the minds of so many...like Oprah Winfrey...who wouldn't admire her! 

Chef Gloriana:

I tend to admire people who face a lot of challenges and overcome. Resilience is key. And my Mom is one of the most resilient people I know. 

Which talent would you most like to have? 
 

Chef Keesha:

Singing! But God knows best. HA

Chef Gloriana: 

I would love to play a musical instrument. 

What is your most marked characteristic? 

Chef Keesha:

Lovingly Driven

What is your motto? 

Chef Keesha:

I have two mottos that ring in my head at the same time. One from a Secret commercial my Aunt was in as a kid (another one of my most admired individuals) "NEVER LET THEM SEE YOU SWEAT" meaning always stay composed in each and every situation good or unpleasant. And the second one from motivational speaker Eric Thomas "WINNERS WIN" meaning do the little things each day towards your success and leave nothing to question.

Chef Gloriana:

"Lift your head princess or else your crown will fall". A little reminder to me to keep my head held high even in difficult situations.

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
 

Chef Keesha:

Personally I would have to say my family. My husband and I have committed to giving our children the best that we can, we push ourselves and each other to fulfill our own  personal dreams as well as build up our children to accomplish any and all they choose to. 

In regard to Kitchun, the universe saw fit to place me in a culinary class with an amazing young lady (Gloriana) who became a great friend and then business partner. Together we have combined our dream of being business owners and have created, developed and nurtured the company that we have now. To date it is our greatest business accomplishment with so much more to be revealed.

Chef Gloriana:

At home: My family, my husband and our children.  I love them with every bit of my heart and I'm proud and GRATEFUL that I have that. 

In business: Still making it happen every day! This is a tough business and we are challenged EVERY DAY but we keep pushing forward with success. Our 1ST Place win for HEB’S Quest for Texas Best was a pretty big accomplishment as well. We are now in 138 HEB stores!! 

What are some hopes you have for your future?
 

Chef Keesha:

To be amongst some of the most influential female business owners of my time. For Kitchun to grow to its full potential of being a household name, filling a need in the healthy snacking market and serving a greater humanitarian purpose.

Chef Gloriana:

I hope that this business venture eventually leads to us being a household name and the ability to spend more time with my family.

What's one piece of advice you'd give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
 

Chef Keesha:

Step out on faith and out of your comfort zone. Never fear failure, it is how we overcome the failures that make the success story so much sweeter. Make a decision to: WIN, CHANGE THE SITUATION, BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE!

Chef Gloriana:

Always ask a lot of questions to everyone! People are surprisingly willing to help when you admit you don’t know something.  Also, "know what you don’t know" so you know when to ask for help.  And above all, be resilient.

--

To keep up with these awesome ladies hop on over to Facebook and Instagram! 

And don't forget to grab a bag of their snacks while you're at your local HEB. They are on my grocery list every week! 

---

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here