The Courage to Become | Rachel Ritlop
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
I’m Rachel, the blogger behind Confidently Mom. I often feel torn between Netflix binges and taking on the world, and Confidently Mom is really for other millennials facing the same struggle as they navigate this whole #adulting thing . I’m also a blog consultant, Forbes contributing writer, and dog mom.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
As a kid, I always dreamt of publishing a book. I loved to write and had tons of short stories. However, my biological father is European and in his country, “left handed people are stupid.” So whenever he would catch me writing, I would have to sit at the kitchen table re-writing everything for hours with my right hand. As a seven year old, that takes a toll on you.
I slowly stopped writing, because I didn’t want to get caught and go through all of it. In high school my mom kept pushing me towards STEM classes/careers so my creative side really died. It wasn’t until a series of traumatic events my senior year of high school that I found my way back to writing as an outlet for all the emotions.
Getting started it felt totally cathartic. This deep visceral release. At the same time I was going through some intense cyber bullying, so as soon as I started to find my footing with writing again, I found myself totally afraid of the written word from my anonymous attackers. Once again, I decided to let it fall to the way side because it was just too painful.
I got lost in TV, movies, and music… avoiding the written word like the plague for another eight years. I found myself in the midst of a quarter life crisis freaking out about the unknown of my future when I said to my husband, “I’m just another confused millennial with no idea what to do with my life!”
And honestly, just like that the lightbulb went off. I bought the domain within an hour, designed a logo, built a website, wrote four posts, and “went live” to the interwebs in 48 hours! I had no idea what I was doing, where it would go, but I knew I just needed to write again.
What’s been the biggest motivating factor through my twenties, and ultimately launching my blog, has been this mission to help others. I honestly don’t think I would be alive today without the help from others. The random acts of kindness, the inspiring word, or even just feeling like I am not alone in my feelings have saved me and I hope to pass that along to others.
The other major motivator is the person I admire most, my husband. He has been with me through starting a business, pivoting that business, and gave me the courage to evolve it into a true lifestyle business that not only supports me, but supports my mission in life.
Alright… to answer your other questions:
Which talent would you most like to have?
I honestly have no idea! I think a skill I would like to get better with is my writing. Since I avoided english classes like the plague for years, I could definitely use a grammar refresher!
What is your most marked characteristic?
My honesty. I am a little too honest at times, and it’s definitely gotten me in trouble. But I believe in transparency and honesty if we want to grow or help others grow.
What is your motto?
“What other choice do you have?” - I’ve learned that life is going to happen, and all we can control is our reaction to it. I try to always lead with grace and dignity, even if I just want to throw a temper tantrum.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
I’m proud of a lot actually so this is hard. Honestly, I am just really proud of how far I’ve come with my anxiety and depression. That I have a loving husband. I’ve been able to connect with so many amazing people through my blog, and support myself from my blog as well!
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
My readers! They send me lots of emails, DMs, comments, and positive vibes to get through it all. In my experience community and sharing our struggles is what makes walking with them a little less burdensome.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Keep your eyes on your own lane. If you’re focusing on what everyone else is doing, you’ll only become a consumer. If you want to build a lifestyle business or become a professional blogger, you need to have an original POV, and that will get watered down if you are reading every single thing published on the internet in your niche. For more advice I’d give on starting a blog, I’d recommend checking out these lessons from my first year blogging.
I hope to connect with you guys on Instagram, Twitter, or You Tube.
Essay by: Rachel Ritlop
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Emily B. Cummins
Four years ago, I decided to put permanent ink on my body. What I didn’t know back in 2012 was that those eight little letters inscribed on my wrist would become the anthem of my life and spark something remarkable in those around me as well.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted everything to be perfect. My hair just right. My childhood ballet routines beautifully performed down to the last move. My high school backstroke technique flawless. Perfect A+ grades, never missing an assignment, not even thinking twice about getting a detention. Getting into the right colleges. Choosing the right career. Finding the perfect guy. Making the best of friends. Showing the world I’ve got it.
You know, that it factor that everyone seems to want.
But, in tear filled frustration, I always seem to come up short in comparison to the world’s standards.
Not pretty enough. Not the star swimmer on the high school swim team. Not the valedictorian of my class. No handsome stud on my side. No group of BFFs I share all of my deepest, darkest secrets with. It’s like perfection just wouldn’t come—no matter how hard I tried.
And that’s when it hit me.
I will never be perfect. I wasn’t created to reach perfection.
God created me exactly as He wants me to be—and in His eyes, I am perfectly made. Psalm 139 confirms that. He created me to love and embrace this grand adventure called life; the problem was—and is—that when I was striving so hard to reach what I deemed as “perfection,” I couldn’t truly live.
The words of Deuteronomy 30:11-14 are empowering me with the truth that I CAN do what God commands me to do. I don’t need to have anyone else explain it to me, teach it to me, or tell me to do it. Obeying God is up to me. I just have to do it, I just have to choose to be who God made me to be. Following verse 14, God lays out some life altering, eye-opening words that can’t help but grip me:
“Look at what I’ve done for you today: I’ve placed in front of you Life and Good, Death and Evil. And I command you today: Love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments, regulations, and rules so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God, your God, in the land you are about to enter and possess.”
(Deuteronomy 30:15-16, the Message)
Live exuberantly. Really live.
I want that. I want to live free of the distractions of wanting to win popularity contests. Free from fighting so hard to be perfect. Free from avoiding messy, real, authentic relationships. Free from being so afraid of getting hurt. Free from trying to avoid failure so intensely. Free from striving to win the approval of others. Free from the icy grip of shame. Free. Free to LIVE.
Each of us are on a journey. Our stories are being written day by day and I believe our stories have the potential to really do something, to change the world. But only if we let them.
It really boils down to one thing: who will I trust to write my story? Me or God?
Perfection screams, “Choose me! Choose me! Only I can control how everything turns out.” But the kind of living Deuteronomy 30 shares whispers the truth, “Choose God. He IS life. If you choose Him, you choose life.” When I choose to open my hands and release my grip on false control, I’m no longer striving to “do” anything; I’m simply “being” in His presence, trusting Him to “do” for me that which only He can do.
I am becoming, becoming who God made me to be.
Each day a page of my story is being written into the threads of time and being woven into the very fabric of who I am. As I stand looking at the pages before me, I’m making a daily decision to choose to embrace this grand adventure called life and to trust the God who created me in the first place to continue to write the story of Emily. I am choosing to be her.
One of my favorite quotes from Shauna Niequist explains it this way: “This season is about becoming…walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe God is good & life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.” (Shauna Niequest, Bittersweet)
And that is why I chose to have “becoming” tattooed to my wrist. Every single time I look at my left hand, I’m reminded that life is a grand adventure. I’m reminded that the pursuit of perfection isn’t what God created me for. I’m reminded that I am made perfectly in Christ. I’m reminded to trust Him to write my story. I’m reminded to live exuberantly. But, most importantly, I’m reminded to embrace becoming me.
And from where I stand today in 2017, this idea of “becoming” is permeating everything I do and has sparked a movement of women around the world through BecomingMe.TV.
It’s embedded in my writing, ingrained in my thoughts, and interwoven in my conversations with those around me. It’s taken root in the reason why I get out of bed every morning and the hope I hang on to when the rain clouds come. Its my passion, my heart’s cry, my word.
I see women around me becoming who God made them to be too. I see them courageously battling life’s struggles and risking loving people who just might not love them back. I see them trying, setting aside the fear of failure and running towards incredible victory. I see life change. I see redemption. I see courage. I see becoming.
My battle cry is to invite women on the personal and courageous journey of becoming who God made them to be. That’s why I turn off my alarm clock and get out of bed each morning. That’s why I write. That’s why I dream. That’s why BecomingMe.TV exists, partnering with women as they’re becoming who God made them to be too through Blog Series, Becoming Stories, and Events. In becoming me, I see those around me becoming too and can’t help but be inspired and encouraged on the journey.
This journey isn’t just mine. We are all becoming and I want to invite you to join me. It’s time we lace up our boots, throw fear and perfection into the wind and live fully. Let’s be who God made us to be. Together, let’s become.
Essay by: Emily B. Cummins
Guys, don't you want to go see Emily in person? ME TOO!!!!!! She is doing big, huge things to remind us that we are loved just as we are and that we were made perfectly. God didn't overlook qualities when he knitted us together - we have all that we need to live our lives well, richly and full of love and purpose. Thank you, Emily!!!!!
Emily’s Instagram: Emily’s Twitter: Emily’s Facebook:
BecomingMe.TV Website: BecomingMe.TV Instagram: BecomingMe.TV Twitter: BecomingMe.TV Facebook:
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Jena Cuellar Harris
Insecurity about my body is something I've never felt comfortable admitting.
Am I too short? Too muscular? Not curvy enough?
Ever since I could remember friends and family have always made comments about my body type. “Woah, look at those traps,” with a light squeeze on my shoulders. Or, “Those legs! They’re bigger than mine,” from a guy. And perhaps jokingly, lovingly, or admiringly but I don’t think anyone ever truly realizes how some of those comments can affect the way we feel about ourselves; How we harbor those comments deep down all the way into adulthood.
We can even let some of those words affect petty decisions like our style of clothing to serious decisions like business opportunities and career choices.
Being a young, athletic, female, can be extremely difficult when you are growing up.
When the majority of girls your age have softer lines and a more feminine build, you wonder, “Is it wrong to look the way I do?” Yet, at the same time, you love it! It can be quite conflicting in adolescence.
I've never been one to let adversity stand in the way of my goals.
When I decided I wanted to go to the University of Texas at Austin to run track, I hunted down the coach during freshman orientation and told him I wanted to run for him. I'd been offered scholarships to other schools but I didn't want those other schools. I wanted to be a Longhorn. So my persistence allowed me the opportunity to walk on. I made the team, proved myself, and ran cross-country and track all four years of my collegiate career.
When my husband and I decided we wanted to open our second business, a juice bar in South Texas, we were faced with wary friends and family members questioning whether or not it was a good business decision.
Of course, their worry was out of love, more than anything, but if that qualm didn't send us running in the opposite direction, surely the hesitance of others in the industry to give us advice would deter us, right? Nope!
It was quite the opposite. We traveled to juice bars around the country to learn from others, we spent tireless hours in our kitchen creating our own menu, and spent money we weren't sure was going to be recouped on blenders, juicers, and ingredients. This past April, our store, Shake Express, successfully surpassed the first year "make it or break it" phase and we are entering the second year with much acceptance and excitement from our community.
I'll never forget, a year ago, a client of mine was sharing an experience he checked off his bucket list. He proceeded to ask me, "What's on your bucket list?" I told him, "I've always wanted to start a blog. I've wanted to for years." His reply was, "Well what are you waiting for?!"
In truth, I was waiting to be leaner? Curvier? Smaller or less muscular? Putting myself out there in front of the world to see was a scary thought for me. Will they judge me or nitpick at what I am or am not? Compare me to other fitness bloggers?
So many insecurities and silly, unimportant, EXCUSES that hindered me from putting that "check" on my bucket list item. In the depths of my mind I could hear the voices of my adolescence seeping into my grown woman mind.
It wasn't until a year later that the topic of me starting a blog resurfaced. As business owners, some seasons can be tough. The fluctuation in revenue can be a bit unnerving. A few corporate career opportunities arose and they sounded safe. No worrying about what profits were going to look like for any given month or whether or not we'd be able to enjoy some of our lifestyle favorites during low season. For whatever reason, though, every time one of those opportunities felt like it was within grasp, it slipped away. Strangely, however, I was never upset or saddened about not getting the job. Perhaps, deep down in my heart, I knew that it's not what I wanted to do. God was steering me in another direction. But where?
I finally told my husband one Saturday afternoon as we floated around the pool, "I think I'm done trying to get a job. I have a job and I love it! I love my clients and I love what I do. But I want more!"
"More" in the sense that I wanted to reach more people. My client list was/is at full capacity. I can only help so many people, one-on-one, in a day. "How do I maximize that," I asked him.
My husband’s reply to me was, "Why don't you start a blog?" At that moment I stopped and thought to myself, "Have I ever shared with him my desire to start a blog?" I knew for a fact I hadn't. Maybe this was a reassurance that it was time.
My husband laid out a game plan and told me that he would help me to take photos and record videos. His newfound savvy behind the camera married with my journalistic background could definitely be the recipe for a successful and informative blog. A blog to help a myriad of people, not just locally, but globally, with fitness and nutrition advice! This was my goal, was it not?
I took the night to ponder and pray on it. The ease in the way the opportunity presented itself seemed almost super-natural to me. A sign from God. How do you say no to that?
The answer is- you don’t.
I felt compelled to do what God was calling me to do and He would help me to overcome the insecurities I have battled since childhood.
And he has.
Along with my loving husband who thinks I am the most beautiful woman, with the most amazing body. When I hesitate to post a photo or a video because I look to “squishy,” or short, or muscular, he is my biggest admirer reassuring me of how great I look.
I can confidently say, today, that I feel surer of myself than ever.
Do I have days where I’m being extra judgey of myself or let those comments I was once sensitive about resurface from where I have learned to bury them... absolutely. But it’s a work in progress. Everyday is.
At the end of the day, I’m glad I was able to overcome it and have the courage to start my blog because through it, I have already received messages and comments from followers thanking me for my nutrition and fitness advice. They have thanked me for motivating and encouraging them. That was my goal all along.
This was my courage to become a blogger.
You can feel Jena's fear and feel her walking through it, right? I think that's the most special part of this piece. She really let us see behind the curtain - and not everyone is brave enough or ready to do that. So -- thank you, Jena!!!
To keep up with Jena - make sure to follow her on her blog page - Jena's Gym and Juice.
And if you're in the RGV -stop by Shake Express or her gym, Strong Point!
