The Courage to Become | Rachel Ritlop
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
I’m Rachel, the blogger behind Confidently Mom. I often feel torn between Netflix binges and taking on the world, and Confidently Mom is really for other millennials facing the same struggle as they navigate this whole #adulting thing . I’m also a blog consultant, Forbes contributing writer, and dog mom.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
As a kid, I always dreamt of publishing a book. I loved to write and had tons of short stories. However, my biological father is European and in his country, “left handed people are stupid.” So whenever he would catch me writing, I would have to sit at the kitchen table re-writing everything for hours with my right hand. As a seven year old, that takes a toll on you.
I slowly stopped writing, because I didn’t want to get caught and go through all of it. In high school my mom kept pushing me towards STEM classes/careers so my creative side really died. It wasn’t until a series of traumatic events my senior year of high school that I found my way back to writing as an outlet for all the emotions.
Getting started it felt totally cathartic. This deep visceral release. At the same time I was going through some intense cyber bullying, so as soon as I started to find my footing with writing again, I found myself totally afraid of the written word from my anonymous attackers. Once again, I decided to let it fall to the way side because it was just too painful.
I got lost in TV, movies, and music… avoiding the written word like the plague for another eight years. I found myself in the midst of a quarter life crisis freaking out about the unknown of my future when I said to my husband, “I’m just another confused millennial with no idea what to do with my life!”
And honestly, just like that the lightbulb went off. I bought the domain within an hour, designed a logo, built a website, wrote four posts, and “went live” to the interwebs in 48 hours! I had no idea what I was doing, where it would go, but I knew I just needed to write again.
What’s been the biggest motivating factor through my twenties, and ultimately launching my blog, has been this mission to help others. I honestly don’t think I would be alive today without the help from others. The random acts of kindness, the inspiring word, or even just feeling like I am not alone in my feelings have saved me and I hope to pass that along to others.
The other major motivator is the person I admire most, my husband. He has been with me through starting a business, pivoting that business, and gave me the courage to evolve it into a true lifestyle business that not only supports me, but supports my mission in life.
Alright… to answer your other questions:
Which talent would you most like to have?
I honestly have no idea! I think a skill I would like to get better with is my writing. Since I avoided english classes like the plague for years, I could definitely use a grammar refresher!
What is your most marked characteristic?
My honesty. I am a little too honest at times, and it’s definitely gotten me in trouble. But I believe in transparency and honesty if we want to grow or help others grow.
What is your motto?
“What other choice do you have?” - I’ve learned that life is going to happen, and all we can control is our reaction to it. I try to always lead with grace and dignity, even if I just want to throw a temper tantrum.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
I’m proud of a lot actually so this is hard. Honestly, I am just really proud of how far I’ve come with my anxiety and depression. That I have a loving husband. I’ve been able to connect with so many amazing people through my blog, and support myself from my blog as well!
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
My readers! They send me lots of emails, DMs, comments, and positive vibes to get through it all. In my experience community and sharing our struggles is what makes walking with them a little less burdensome.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Keep your eyes on your own lane. If you’re focusing on what everyone else is doing, you’ll only become a consumer. If you want to build a lifestyle business or become a professional blogger, you need to have an original POV, and that will get watered down if you are reading every single thing published on the internet in your niche. For more advice I’d give on starting a blog, I’d recommend checking out these lessons from my first year blogging.
I hope to connect with you guys on Instagram, Twitter, or You Tube.
Essay by: Rachel Ritlop
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Alex Zeplain
I am a woman who really wants it all. I want a career, I want a personal life, I want my health, I want to be a present mom, and I want happiness. I have come to learn that I can have it all, but it won't all be at the same time. AND, that I am in control of defining what having it all means to me.
This way of living is a constant work in progress for me. Currently, I am the mother of a soon to be 3 year old boy; a wife to a hard working, entrepreneurial man; a caregiver to my mother; and founder of Hello My Tribe (to name a few of my roles).
With clients at Tribe
In a past life, I was a “professional” volunteer and founder of a nonprofit that promoted philanthropy and had great success. For years, this work was my identity, and when I stepped away from this career, I went through a huge life transformation becoming a wife and stay at home mom. Identity crisis…ding, ding, ding!
Due to my roles in the community and my career choices, most people are surprised to find out that I have social anxiety and am much of an introvert. I am learning to say “no” more and to choose activities that fill my cup, rather than empty it. And I am constantly striving to live a more balanced and honest life after experiencing Postpartum Depression and being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2016.
I find my journey to be full of blessings. And to be present calls for me to simplify life, to slow down, and to do what makes me happy.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I share a lot about my ideas before getting started. I think doing this is part of the process, but also out of fear. I often look to others for validation. Is this a good idea, or am I crazy? I spent a little over a year talking and researching my idea for Tribe before taking the first actual steps to get it off the ground.
How did it feel getting started?
I tend to jump into things pretty quickly, but sometimes it’s just what you have to do to finally take that leap. With Hello My Tribe, our Austin, TX fitness/childcare studio is not a business I can turn on and off on a daily basis, or really speed up or slow down at this time. The problem with this is that in the beginning, I became quickly overwhelmed and didn’t have opportunities to play catch up. There was such a strong response to our pop up studio —600 unique women came through our doors over a 6-month period.
Absolutely fantastic, proved the idea, and a great learning experience.
But what also happened was that I didn’t have the proper tools or team in place to make the studio sustainable. Therefore, I was doing work that I wasn’t good at and that I didn’t enjoy doing. So guess what? I made a very hard decision to close the pop up studio so that I could take a step back to re-evaluate and make a better plan for the future.
Moms Night Out at Tribe
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started.
The BIGGEST obstacle I face over and over again is creating a sustainable business. My ideas take teams of people from the start. And this takes funding, which I don’t have outside of my own personal investment. I often feel alone, overwhelmed, and frustration that I can’t move any faster.
What motivates you?
I always have very clear missions with my work. With CharityBash/Cititzen Generation, my goals were to create the habit of giving and to provide opportunities for people to give back to the community. I was able to see these goals come to life every single day. And with Tribe, my goal is to help women and mothers lead healthy and happy lives. Again, I get to see this happening on a daily basis.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Public speaking of any kind…in front of people, a camera, or microphone. I have major anxiety when it comes to this. I push myself to participate in these activities, though, and then take long breaks in between. I have learned that facing my fears head on is where I will grow the most.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Probably how open I am with my struggles, although this is somewhat of a new thing for me.
What is your motto?
Be selfish in the right ways. Love yourself. Put yourself first.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Admitting I suffered from Postpartum Depression. When I first shared this in May 2016, it was a small snippet, but it ripped the band-aide off. I felt a weight lifted. Since then, I share more and more as time goes on and as I heal.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
I feel so much better when my current to do list is cleaned up. Doesn’t it feel good to cross items off?! But then I also sometimes just say fuck it and stop. I’m overwhelmed, I’m exhausted so what good is it going to do if I keep on going in that very moment? The last thing I want to do is get depleted and not be able to move forward at all.
Feature photo: Heather Gallagher Photography
Essay by: Alex Zeplain
Oh yes!!! I feel Alex 100%. Don't you? If you'd like to keep up with her or with Tribe - you can follow her adventures on Instagram and on Tribe's Web Site. I have been blessed to have Alex and Tribe and part of my life and I am so grateful!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Betsy Pake
I’ve always been a ‘doer’. My whole life I liked lists and forms and a specific outline for how to ‘do’. Which is why I find my journey so comical because nothing about it has followed a path that could be written on a check list.
Like most women, I wear lots of hats. I’m a mom and a wife and a dreamer of big things. I’m a writer and I love to help people get in touch with their passion and purpose to live authentically. I do this by helping them ‘Start Small to Live Big’.
I’ve tried a lot of different things over the years, and had some great successes. I built a career in sales and owned my own business, I did some incredible things with my fitness, ran a marathon and won bronze medal in the Pan American games in Olympic Lifting and owned a CrossFit gym.
But it wasn’t until my daughter started having extreme anxiety that I found my true purpose. She was eleven and was having anxiety attacks at school. After going from doctor after doctor, I learned it was her amygdala, that controls your freeze, fight or flight response, that gets over stimulated and causes her to have these attacks even when there is no real threat or danger.
I was working as a nutrition coach at the time, and I recognized this same thing in my clients but on a much smaller scale. I would ask them to do something outside of their comfort zone, something that would make them grow, and they froze. When we would do our follow up a week later, they would tell me they wanted to do it, but they had some resistance they couldn’t explain.
It was how my daughter explained her anxiety, just on a smaller scale.
So I started experimenting with both my daughter and my clients, giving them something SO small that they could basically tip toe past their amygdala. If they went small enough, that freeze, fight or flight response was never triggered and each time they did something new they effectively pushed the threshold farther and farther.
My clients started doing things they never thought they could do before, and my daughter was having success too. Today, she goes to the biggest high school in Georgia, with over 4,000 kids, and thrives.
I believe that we are all candles, but we have to fall into the darkness to know what we were really meant for.
I think that is what happened with me. As this was unfolding, I realized my purpose was much bigger than I originally anticipated and I decided to make the leap to do this work and I pushed my business of nutrition coaching aside. It was so exciting and so terrifying all at the same time.
I was building steadily with my nutrition business, had a best selling book on Amazon and although I wasn’t living large with my paychecks, I felt happy knowing I was contributing to our family. But something never felt right. It was scary to leave that small cocoon of security and turn my back on that path. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t the direction I was truly meant to be on and when my true path became clear, I recognized it and took the leap.
When I decided to change my focus, I had deep discussions with my husband about my plans. We determined a time frame that I could be without income and what I thought my steps should be. I was realistic and as we’ve reached each benchmark, we’ve talked and made decisions together.
I slowly closed my nutrition business, as each client felt successful and graduated, I didn’t replace them with someone else. I wrote a new book about my work with Starting Small called Start Small, Live Big: Thrive through change to live the life of your dreams. I started speaking, sharing at schools, talking to anyone who would listen! I feel like I have a great message that can help people and as the mission became clear, it became easier and easier to see the path.
I am still growing and changing every day. Some days I feel like the things I’ve learned in the past few months could fill up another book entirely. I’ve learned that growth isn’t for the weak and if you’ve got a mission to help people you have to be willing to deal with some of the hard stuff in your own life too.
One of my biggest obstacles has been staying in my zone of genius. When we are getting started as entrepreneurs we have to do lots of things that we aren’t great at because we may not have the money to outsource those things right away. I find doing ‘batch’ days really helps me. This is where I focus on just recording my podcasts, or just writing blog posts, or just creating graphics for an entire day. It keeps me focused and if its something I don’t enjoy, I don’t have to dread it day after day, I just get it out of the way all at once. This process really helps my creativity and staying positive, which is vital for someone working for themselves.
Someone I really admire is Glennon Doyle Melton. She’s an author, a truth teller and an incredible speaker. She took a dark time in her life, learned from it and now shares with others so we don’t all feel so alone. I think being that authentic is a special gift.
One talent I wish I had was to be able to sing! I sing in the car and in the shower, but when my daughter was young she heard me singing and started to cry. I knew right then there probably wasn’t a singing career in my future! I’m okay with that.
When my friends think of me, I think they probably think I’m super positive. I practice gratitude every day. There is so much goodness around us and our lives are truly what we focus on.
My motto is Start Small Live Big, because there is NOTHING you can’t accomplish if you break it down small enough. Nothing!
I’m most proud that I have raised such a kind daughter. I’ve asked her before, “What do you think I’d want most for your life?” She hesitated and said, “I was going to say happiness but I think it’s for me to be kind.” Absolutely. Kind people are happy people. Kind people are brave people. We have two choices in this world and two choices only; Love or Fear. Always shoot to choose love.
I hope in the future more roads will open up to me where I can work to serve others. Maybe it will be with more speaking opportunities and holding workshops or maybe in some other way I haven’t even thought of yet. I feel confident that my path is set, I just have to trust and take action on the ideas and opportunities that come to me.
One piece of advice I’d give to women who are just embarking on their journey is to figure out where you want to go and then set up small steps to get there! You can move mountains if you chunk it down. Take action when it comes to you. Ideas are little gifts from the universe so don’t let them pass you by. If you can’t take action right then, write them down and save them for later. You may not end up doing that exact action, but it may lead to some other creative path that is on your journey.
Find some mentors. If you can’t find them live, find them in books. There is so much to learn from others who have gone before you and although your path is unique, knowing that the challenges you face are universal and can be overcome will give you strength in the dark times.
I just LOVE Betsy's story - her piece is chock full of wisdom and encouragement!
Make sure to keep up with Betsy here:
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Sarah Donovan
The Courage to Face Anxiety + Help Women Rise
As a young girl, you could find me painting flowers or vintage VOGUE covers. I guess you could say that was the beginning of my career as an artist. And all along the way, my mom encouraged me to keep a paintbrush in my hand. Even though I tried my hand at other things, my heart always lead me back to painting.
I knew I loved art and design AND I have always had a desire to be with people and love people.
My parents were always caring for others and their family members so I have them to thank for this characteristic.
In 2006 I was blessed with the opportunity to share this love for people by visiting Uganda on a mission trip. My goal was to share love with Ugandans, but these beautiful people showed me a love that is truly indescribable.
During college, I went through a series of rough patches. I enjoyed partying and boys more than studying for a period of time. (Anybody else?) And after some questionable decisions, I came to the realization that I wasn't loving myself.
Shortly after this fun phase, I met my precious husband Andrew. And a year after graduating college (babies!), we were married.
I knew I loved Andrew when we got married, but through life's challenges, I have really gotten to know his loyalty – and I admire him the most. He is my rock, and literally the other half of me. I admire his ability to lead without being cocky, his kindness, and his love for myself and our son.
I struggled to find a job so I started teaching art at a local art school. While teaching, I took freelance creative jobs and began my stationery business, The Stationery Bakery.
At first I focused on wedding invitations and over the past few years the business had transformed and now I illustrate greeting cards, prints, and home + gift items.
But while that is my passion career wise, I also have an insane passion for loving my husband and kid.
After becoming a mom, and experiencing some personal hardships, I discovered my drive to support and love women.
Let’s rewind to 2014.
While I had a seemingly healthy pregnancy, I experienced anxiety around ultrasound appointments. And even after determining everything was fine, I turned into a beautiful anxious mess!
During the end of my pregnancy, I was convinced I was dying. And that anxiety ramped up after having George.
I was obsessed with this kid and was constantly worried something would happen to him or myself. And after a few long months of suffering the grips of anxiety, I got help from an amazing counselor in Austin, Brett Brightwell. I experienced a total identity crisis when becoming a mom!
(The identity crisis happens to most of us ;) , only I didn’t know that.) Thankfully, I was and have been able to work through the root causes of my anxiety.
In addition to counseling, it became clear that I was dealing with postpartum anxiety and OCD and so I got on medication under the guidance of Suzanne Grantham out of Austin.
When I started to feel some relief, I decided to break my silence and speak out about my experience. Speaking out was therapeutic and I met women who struggled with similar chaos. Then, I started to find a sense of community among other women.
Seeing the importance of community among women and the growing need for mental health support, I felt inspired to start a small support group. The group is called Moms Arising and the goal is to provide a safe environment that encourages women to rise up even in the midst of challenging times.
It's so hard to be a woman.
It's brutal to be a mom.
My hope is to continue to seek for answers within myself so that my confidence will encourage other women to do the same.
My anxiety is not cured, it is still a part of my life today. I still look over my shoulder from time to time waiting for a crippling panic attack. However, I have found relief in surrounding myself with a tribe that I love and trust. And my tribe is constantly evolving because of the unique people I meet each day.
In addition to my husband and my tribe, I have found a lot of healing in my faith and personal relationship with God. I used to think of God as this judging figure shaking his head at my poor decisions – but I have come to understand him as a loving father embracing me (entirely) in every moment.
We all go through scary times, but we can use those moments to reflect and meditate. Those times are what shape who we are and who we become.
Essay by: Sarah Donovan
I feel so lucky to have Sarah share her story with us! She worked through her fears AND had the wherewithal to take action and help other women! That is the definition of amazing and community and a strong woman. Wow!!!!
Stop by and say hi to Sarah and pick up some of her GORGEOUS ART WORK !
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
