Valley, I believe in you. Thank you for believing in me. Until Soon.
The first time I left The Valley, I was 18.
In 2001, I graduated Weslaco High School and was starting my university days at UT. Weslaco was home. It was where I went to school, where my friends were, and where my family was.
2nd grade Super Star Parade
High school golf
I was excited but also nervous. I remember sitting in those large auditorium-style classrooms and looking around thinking, I don’t know anyone. I went back to the teeny dorm room that I shared with a stranger and wrote my dad an email. It said something like, “Dad, I’m just a number here – no one cares about me. I miss home.” I was in business school, and the people around me were SMART and FROM THE CITY! It was a stark contrast to growing up in Weslaco. In Weslaco ( a one high school town back then) I always knew my teachers and principals and let’s face it, every teacher I had knew my parents were involved – so I always felt like I mattered. I did not feel ANY of that at UT.
The University of Texas
My dad wrote me back and told me to keep trying. He reminded me that all I had accomplished in Weslaco was not overnight; it all took time. And so I stayed, and I tried. I made friends, got involved – and three years later – I graduated. **Interesting side note. I graduated from high school with a lot of college credit – thanks, WHS! Go Panthers!! And so my parents told me this before I left for UT, “We will only pay for three years of college. So, earn your degree in 3 years.” And since I am the oldest and I believed everything they said, and since I didn’t have any money – I earned my degree in three years. I would later learn - that was a lie – and they would have paid for my college for as long as it took. Parents. LOL
I’d come back weekends to watch my younger brothers play football and for any other important occasion – you know how Mexican families are. Together.
After UT, I went to graduate school in Houston and was further away from The Valley. But I always knew I could come home. I knew there were people —my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends that feel more like angels --- who wanted me to visit.
At a UT football game with my brothers
In my 20s, I traveled, I dated, explored with my young life – but like a boomerang, I always came back home.
When Guapo and I were early on in our relationship – he would say things like, “it’s your parents’ home, it’s not your home.” And I’d say, “No. It is my home.” And he’d always stay confused – wondering why a 29-year-old woman would still call her parents’ home - home. I remember the first time he came to Christmas in The Valley. We gave him a uniform, and he worked Christmas Eve at Holiday Wine and Liquor – like a good boyfriend!
I managed the store; he managed the line of customers. At that time, Guapo was a pretty accomplished lawyer – and he wasn’t exactly used to working late on Christmas Eve helping customers out to their car with boxes – but he was in love!
Later that night, we went to my Abuelita’s for buñelos and tamales, and he had a big grin. “This is so nice.” “Yes, it is,” I said.
—
When Alexandra was only a few months old, Carlos, my youngest brother and I rented a home. It was a three-bedroom house—one bedroom for Carlos, one for me, and one for Alexandra. One week a month – Alexandra and I would drive from Austin to McAllen. My mom got to spend time with Alexandra, and I got to work at Holiday. We’d have pizza night and movie night – and God bless Carlos and his now-wife Ashley – I’d be pumping breast milk and interrupt their date to take the breast milk to the refrigerator. The things we do!
Uncle Los with Alexandra
Uncle Los being epic with baby Alexandra
Guapo and I grew, and Luciana came along, and we moved to Central America. And the more and more Guapo evolved as a papa – the more he said things like, “I am never leaving the girls. They can always live with us; maybe I’ll pay them not to go to college and hang out with me.” I looked at him and said, “You’re a Mexican dad, after all.”
And then, in casual conversation, I said, “Imagine Alexandra marrying someone and moving to another country. Imagine having to travel 12 hours to see your kid.”
That notion sat with us and when we knew we were coming back to the US – we said, “Let’s go be with family for a while.” And so after Central America, in October of 2019, we moved back to The Valley.
The four of us
The last year has been full of transitions.
New schools, friends, a new house, a change in lifestyle, and then, Corona. My goodness.
Guapo and the girls and I have been through a ton.
When Corona started in March, Guapo got sick, and we thought it was Corona. Guapo had already quarantined for ten days in our room. So I was the mom, nurse, cleaning lady around the clock for a few weeks – and I was already frazzled. Then one morning, his lips became discolored, and so we decided that he go to the ER. But moms don’t get to fall apart – at least not right away – because there’s still snack time, playtime, lunchtime, and bedtime. He packed his bag and went to the ER, and I did THE GROUP TEXT—the one where you ask people for help and prayers.
Immediately, everyone came to bat in big ways.
My Uncle dropped food on my doorstep, and within the hour, a family friend had called her suegra – and the suegra worked at the hospital, and she was able to get me information on Guapo that I would not have gotten otherwise. People just sent us their love in whatever way they could. Paper goods so I wouldn’t have to wash dishes, flowers, food, prayers. Love looks like a lot of things.
Christmas Brunch with framily - December 2019
During our time here, the girls have played with family, eaten raspas, and walked through the Valley Lemon orchards. They were flower girls for the first time and got to see their Uncle Los and Tia Ashley marry. When we drive by Weslaco stadium, Luci yells, “Panthers! Mommy – you went to Panthers!”
Weslaco High School Football game - October 2019
Alexandra sings the Holiday Wine and Liquor jingle every time she passes a Holiday. Alexandra just kind of thinks everyone has a business. She asked her grandparents to give her a building ( an entire one) – so she can open a gift shop. She wants to sell lemonade from the gift shop for $5.00. It’s excellent lemonade.
Alexandra and her Uncle Los at Holiday Wine and Liquor
For a while, Alexandra called it, “Mexi-callen,” instead of McAllen.
The girls have had so much fun with my parents. One night, my mom told Alexandra, “mi casa es su casa.” So about a month ago as we were leaving my parent’s house – Alexandra rearranged some decorations. And she said, “this is my house too.” “Yes, it is sweet girl.”
Valley Winter
My mom, Nana, reading a book to Luciana
Luciana trying to get my gum
Alexandra, Christmas 2019
By being here in The Valley, I got to remember what it was like to feel The Valley breeze and see the palm trees swaying in the wind. I got to see friends on a quick run to the grocery store and be called, Catia Hernandez. And people ask – even still – are you David and Nellie’s girl? Yes, I am.
Selfie at my dad’s desk
My 36th birthday cake and song in my dad’s office
I was able to officiate the wedding for my brother and sister-in-law.
Getting to officiate my brother’s and sister-in-law’s wedding
Plus, I got to be with my parents during all of this Corona mess. Did you know I have worked for my parents pretty much my entire life? I do ALL sorts of things for Holiday Wine and Liquor and the Texas Valley Lemons – but I was able to kick it into high gear for Holiday when Corona hit – and that was a big blessing.
And even with all the junk going on – I was able to get grounded. To feel loved and welcomed – to see old friends, to take morning walks on familiar trails.
I was able to spend Sunday afternoons with my folks and ask my mom for help with things that I could do myself if I had to. And, this was the first time in a long time that I was able to celebrate mother’s day and father’s day with my folks – in person!
I drove on the farm and got stuck in the mud. I was able to get all my art fixed up by my favorite frame shop and eat greasy taqueria. I even taught Guapo how to say things like, “this chick.” (You will only get this is you’re from The Valley.)
The Valley and this community is so dear to me.
Many people here have believed in me and have given me actual opportunities. They have taken leaps of faith on me, and I am truly humbled by it.
They’ve let me lead their groups, invited me to sit on boards, loaned me their church alters, supported my book and become my clients.
Guys, the Barnes and Noble on Nolana ( in McAllen) gave me my first ever Barnes and Noble book placement, got posters printed with my face on it, and held a book signing for me. Then, on book signing day – the staff gave me a locket that I still wear to this day. I’m grateful to Barnes and Noble – but I know that wasn’t Barnes and Noble – that was Valley people supporting other Valley people.
The Valley believes in me – and I believe in The Valley.
Fernando Rivera, Kay Jancik, me, Erren Seale - at a public speaking event at St. John’s Episcopal - May 2018
Susie Robertson and me - love her! - at a public speaking event - May 2018
Dora Brown and me at a keynote address for RGV Women of Purpose - March 2018
A keynote address - RGV Women of Purpose - March 2018
Barnes and Noble Book event- March 2018
Emceeing - The Festival of Color - October 2019
Vanessa Pardo and Monique Condes - my girlfriends who always cheer me on!
When my edges are unraveling – The Valley, Weslaco, my parents, my family – they shore me up. They get me good and strong for the next adventure. And that’s what the last year has felt like.
Tomorrow, I will leave The Valley again.
We bought our first home (does this make me a real adult?), and we are going to settle in for a while, hopefully, a long while.
I’m looking at all the cardboard boxes I’ve packed, our rental house in shambles, teary and grateful for the last year.
Guapo and the girls drove ahead, and so I have some time to write and think.
I never quite know where life is taking me ( us ), but I am happy that I got to come back to The Valley, and live here – with my handsome mid-western husband and my two amazing girls.
In my work, sometimes parents ask me, “how do I get my kids to stay, to come back? I don’t want them to leave.” And I always say, “Be kind, actively welcome them. Don’t try to control them. Give them stability. Create a safety net of love and understanding. Cook them a meal. Leave space in your life for them – maybe even some space in your house. Let them explore and play and always welcome them home for love.”
My mom and dad are coming over tonight. They are bringing me Koko’s fajitas, and we are going to have a socially distanced last supper before tomorrow’s big move. And I am just full of gratitude.
The Valley is in a tough spot right now, but it’s such a special place. Full of grit and love and hope.
Valley – you’re such good people. I believe in you. I believe in your dreams. I believe you are strong. I know you will overcome.
Until soon, friends. You know I’ll be back.
Hi friend!
Welcome to Bright Light.
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.
Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.
I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.
I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.
You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.
To each session, I bring my training as a Certified Conscious Coach, my graduate studies in Marriage and Family Therapy, and my decade-long career as an author and keynote speaker. My approach is multi-cultural, grounded in research and my own experience as the mama of two young girls.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Monthly Guide
Shine your brightest,
We are packing our bags and....
In 2018 our youngest, Luciana, turned a year old. And as parents of young children, EVERY SINGLE PERSON advised us to, “savor the moment,” and “enjoy the girls.” They told us “things will go by in a flash,” and “don’t miss it.” And so Guapo and I looked at each other and thought, we’d better listen.
So we made a plan. We would slow down. We would take things off our plates. We would choose to BE with our young girls and cherish the days.
So in March of 2018, we decided we’d leave our beloved Austin, put our careers on hold and we’d take a life sabbatical.
We’d go somewhere where life was slow, and we could just be together.
A few months later, in May of 2018, we gave away half of our belongings, stored the rest, and moved to Panama. Panama, Central America. All of it went pretty quickly.
Guapo did all the planning, and I packed our bags. I landed on Panamanian soil, sight unseen. I didn’t do a lick of research. I just trusted.
We arrived with 6 suitcases, 2 car seats, a stroller, a 3.5-year-old and a 1.5-year-old.
The night we arrived, Guapo assured me a luxury van was going to pick us up and take us to a hotel. When we walked out of the airport into the wet humidity, I saw no luxury vans. But I did see some janky vans. “That one!” He was pointing to the janky van. “Oh my God,” I thought. I got in the van, and it didn’t have a way to affix the car seats. “Great,” I’m in a foreign country, and I can’t keep my baby safe. What did we get ourselves into?
But then we walked into our new home, and I thought, “alright, alright, alright!” It was clean and beautiful and had so much space! Turns out, the cost of living in Panama is A LOT less than Austin.
The girls’ bedrooms were the priority, and so we went to go buy a crib for Luci, and Guapo asked for “ropa” to tie the crib to the top of our rental car. And so they kept sending him to the 2nd level of the store – where they sold….CLOTHES! Lasso. It’s a lasso. We needed a lasso to tie the crib.
We have SO many of those stories.
It took us about 3 months, but we learned a new way of life. A slow one. When I arrived, I continually wanted to be productive and busy because that’s how I had always operated. But in Coronado, there was nothing to do. There was the beach, the gym, and golf. Those were your choices. And so, I learned to just sit and not rush from place to place.
And then, the most magical part started to happen. We began to BECOME more attuned to our children. We spent days, seeing them for who they were. We learned better ways to parent. We took so much off our plate that we did what we set out to do – we enjoyed our girls. We spent countless hours in the pool and in the hammock and dancing in the kitchen. We absolutely changed the dynamic of our family. We learned how to be intentional with words and time, and we have seen our girls flourish because of it.
And once the four of us got our bearings, we started to settle in, and build a community. We made Coronado, ( a small beach town 90 miles west of Panama City) our home. We became friendly with the fruit stand attendants, the beach club staff, the team at our local salon. I took a part-time job as a gym instructor and even got a Zumba Strong certification along the way. Guapo went surfing and started Jiu-Jitsu. And we had BBQs and game nights and play dates with friends. We really loved people, and they loved us back.
And now Alexandra is 5 and Luciana is rounding the corner on 3, and it’s time to pack our bags and go back to Texas.
We have had a rough several months here health-wise and a few nights ago our home got broken into while we were sleeping. But even though the last few months have been rough – I am still so glad we came.
We did it.
We did it.
I mean, I’m just a girl from Weslaco. I grew up in the same house my entire life. Getting up and moving to a foreign country was a big deal for me. And I did it. I figured it out. I figured out the traffic and directions. I figured out how to teach a gym class in Spanish! I figured out health care and school systems. I figured out how to build a community, one intentional act at a time.
Today, I told some of my friends we were moving, and my girlfriend said, “What are we going to do without your light?” She squeezed me tight. And I cried.
Never in my wildest dreams did I picture our life sabbatical unfolding the way it did.
It was rich in experience and love and courage. We did exactly what we set out to do – we slowed down, and we loved Alexandra and Luciana well. Which may sound cheesy, but how good do you feel when someone loves you wholly and completely? We are all the better for it.
What an adventure.
If you’re out there and you’re wondering if you should take a leap. DO IT. If you’re wondering -- it’s because your soul knows it needs to stretch. It’s because your soul knows that there’s so much to be experienced and learned and felt and enjoyed when you take the leap. I can’t tell you how your leap will turn out, I can’t promise you it’ll turn out like a fairy tale, but I can guarantee you that you will be delighted when you realize just how strong and capable you are. Go for it, adventure awaits. And come back and tell us the story.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
Shine your brightest,
On being a daughter, of a great mother.
I called my childhood phone number, the phone number I have KNOWN all my life, and my dad picked up.
“Hi, Dad.”
“Happy Mother’s Day, Catia.”
I paused.
“Oh, yes. Thank you.”
“What? Is that weird?”
“I just didn’t expect it.”
I still think of myself as a daughter.
I am David and Nellie’s daughter.
Of course, I am a mother. Of course. But a big part of me and hopefully a forever part of me identifies as Catia Hernandez, from Weslaco, Texas – you know, David and Nellie’s daughter.
I asked to speak to my mom, but she wasn’t at home. She was on the road, picking her up mom, my Abuelita to bring her back for Mother’s Day Brunch. She still identifies as a daughter too.
I called back a few hours later.
My Dad picked up the phone.
“Nellie, it’s Catia.”
“Hi, precious.” My mom has referred to me as precious my whole life. And Celeste when she’s clenching her teeth in frustration.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Happy Mother’s Day,” I said in between cries, my chest filling up with shallow puffs of air.
“I miss you, too,” she said.
“I miss you, mom.”
“We’ll see each other in June.”
“I know.”
I cried and held back my tears trying to have a decent conversation. But it was pretty much small talk.
And then she passed the phone to my Abuelita, Welita. And I started crying all over again.
“Feliz dia de las Madres, la amo.”
She told me (in Spanish) to close my eyes and feel her hugging me. “Feel my big hug full of love.” She kept repeating it over and over.
She began to weep and then passed the phone back to my mom.
We told each other we loved each other, hung up and I exploded in tears.
I just spent the last 6 weeks living in parents home (with my two girls in tow), and it was glorious. (We are currently living in Central America but traveled to the US to get some quality time together.) Seeing them every day – coffee, wine, tacos, talking politics, brain science – playing with Luciana and Alexandra outside on the swing. Normal things.
No galas, no fancy dinners, no big show stopping moments – and all the most special. Hellos, Goodbyes, have a great days, I love yous.
Flower shopping for my youngest brother’s upcoming wedding
Not a lot of people get the chance to spend so much leisure time with their parents, nor would they want to! But I have both – time and a good relationship – and for that I am so grateful.
It’s not so much that I missed my mom yesterday (Mother’s Day), it’s that I know how important she is. How very sweet this season of our life is, where I see her in all her gifts and glory. No longer am I the bratty kid who thinks she’s knows more than her mom, I sit at her feet and watch and learn in awe of how hard she has worked and how well she raised us. Raising kids who feel well loved are all well loved is the way we change the world. And she has.
I cried because I know there aren’t that many more Mother’s Days we will celebrate. I know enough to know that life ends. And man, I’m going to do all I can to soak up every moment with my mom and show her (albeit awkward at times) how much I value her, admire her and appreciate her.
I cried because I know my Welita did the same for my mom.
This is how long we have been connected.
We’ve been connected since my mom was conceived.
For 60+ years, the three of us have been together. And so it goes for my mom, me and Alexandra and Luciana. Spectacular.
I am writing a book now, for my girls – a book of letters detailing who they are, where they came from, what will happen when Mama and Papa leave this earth. A book seeped in so much love. Something they can hold in their hands and know they were loved and have answers to questions about just who was their mom? My hope is that these letters spark conversations everywhere between mothers and daughters. That they may love each other lavishly and cherish the moments they have with one another.
Mom, I am lucky to be yours.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
Shine your brightest,
2018. A Lot Happened.
I have never taken time to reflect about the previous year, and I don’t think I have ever been intentional about the upcoming year. I always just keep going.
But something was different this year.
I wanted to sit down and reflect. What did I actually DO in 2018? I didn’t want the time to slip away without the acknowledging of moments. Because as I get older, moments get so much more important to me. Do they get more important to you too?
Over the last few days I’ve thought about all that happened in 2018. It started with construction paper and a crayon. And then I took some time to write down my intentions for 2019. Standard issue for a lot of people, but it’s my first crack at it!
This list is so personal that it may not resonate with you. BUT - you have your own list of life happenings. Things that you leaped for and reached. Moments that brought you heartache. Moments you wish you could do over, moments you want to hold in your heart forever.
I sat down and looked at my cell phone pictures over the last year - so this list is long and yet truncated.
There are so many things not on this list that I value deeply.
When Luciana started to “say” grace before meals, when Guapo and I worked our way through some heavy moments, when Alexandra started to sing her way through the days and her ad-lib lyrics were, “You have the power of creation,” when Beau came to me in my dreams.
I lived a lot of life in 2018, and this is my way of acknowledging it.
2018 Happened
First book store event – Book People
Joined Noonday Collection, tried it — was terrible, left Noonday Collection ( blog on that later.)
Joined LIVE A GREAT STORY
Celebrated Luciana’s 1 year birthday
Guest on Network TV spots for The Courage to Become
Locked keys in car, the girls and I thanked someone for helping us by sharing a Popsicle.
Got to see Rob Bell with best friend Sarah
Moxie Matters Tour with Mom
Mom and I got closer
Barnes and Noble event for The Courage to Become
Used a fancy mic for the first time
Easter with Beau Jackson
Said goodbye to Austin
Said goodbye to Beau Jackson
Applied for TEDx, Created a TEDx talk, gave a TEDx talk
Silent Meditation retreat with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
First Spanish TV spot for The Courage to Become - in Spanish!
Sent 1,000,000 Courage to Become packages to Oprah , heard nothing back.
Upped my Zoloft, tapered off of Zoloft
Purged material things
Largest keynote to date, 200 women
Gave first donated event as an author/speaker – benefiting CASA in Austin
First speaking event in a church, on an alter!
Visited Iowa
Lived with Mom and Dad for 6 weeks
Moved to Panama
Climbed a mountain – La India Dormida
Celebrated 35th birthday with new friends, now good friends
Meditated
Made friends with the Ocean
Went ATVing on a mountain with Comads
Explored Panama City
Visited Contadora Island 2x
Celebrated Alexandra’s 4th birthday
Hosted family in Panama
Celebrated 5th wedding anniversary
Settled family into a new community
Applied for a new job as a fitness instructor
Got Zumba Strong certified
Created a community of friends
Saw a live starfish
Worked with my family
Let go of needing to know
Therapy - progress
Raised my vibe
Let go of trauma
Started Jiu Jitsu
Earned first jiu jitsu stripe
Thought about going to Colombia, took family trip to Colombia
Learned more about non-toxic living – have a cleaner house
Shined a light on 16 women through The Courage to Become Feature Series
Spread awareness about sexual assault and post-partum depression
Started personal training
Dropped more into my center
Started to learn about treating my liver well.
How’s that for a sexy ending? Treating my liver well! ha! Listen, as I age, my health becomes more important and I know it’s all a process — A LONG process - and I’m okay with that, because I’m here for it all.
Taking the time to reflect was fulfilling in a way I did not expect. Some of my own take-aways were:
Wow, that’s a lot of life lived. That’s a lot of change. That was A LOT. I am very fortunate. I am busy. I am exploring. I am moving forward. I am living well. I am in the flow.
Do you take time to reflect on the previous year? What have you learned? What are some things that are on your 2019 action list?
Whatever may be on your list. Know you are loved and powerful and that I am rooting for you. You deserve to live the life you’ve always dreamed of.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
Shine your brightest,
Grit is a Gift
You know those people who don’t have to study to get an A? Or the people who are magically good at any sport they try? Or the people who just seem to walk around with life unfolding so easily before them?
That’s not me.
You know that old football movie, Rudy? Where the main character is in love with Notre Dame football and will give anything to be part of the team?
Rudy is from Illinois and lacks ALL that is needed to make the team. He has no money, terrible grades, and is 5’6. His prospects are bleak.
BUT - Rudy wants to play for Notre Dame so badly. So he wills his way from a junior college to Notre Dame. THEN, he wills his way onto the practice football team where his body is used for hitting practice. And eventually after YEARS of trying his absolute hardest, he wills his way onto the OFFICIAL football team. And in the last game of his senior year, Rudy made ONE official play for Notre Dame Football before his teammates whisked him off the field in celebration.
THIS… this is more like me. I’m the person whose skills don’t quite measure up - but tries anyway.
Growing up, I was ashamed that I had to try so hard at everything - ballet, studying, band. I was always amazed that other people didn’t have to put in the work and yet -- we magically we arrived at the same place.
But over the years, the shame started to slough away and I started to become proud of trying. Proud that I had the onions to go after things that interested me.
To see something on the horizon and walk toward it – even though nothing says that the road to the horizon will be easy – is grit. And grit is a gift.
My parents gave me this gift.
My mom, Noelia Barrera Hernandez, migrated from Mexico to the US with her family when she was about 6 years old.
As a child her entire family would pile into the bed of truck, with only a tarp to protect them from the elements, and drive from the southernmost tip of Texas to Wisconsin -- to go pick beets and cucumbers. They lived in a one bedroom house with dirt floors. And while her parents worked in the fields, as a 6 year old, she’d care for her infant brother.
As a teenager she would go to school and after school would clock in at the local grocery store, working until 11pm most nights.
My dad, Renato David Hernandez, started working with his dad, Hortemio Hernandez, at age 11. During the summer, he would work at a farm co-op from 7 in the morning until 8 every night. He would weigh trucks carrying tomatoes, tally up tickets for farmers and their crews, and even call out-of-state truckers and place orders. He did this every summer until he turned 25. All the while, going to school, and helping his mother, my grandmother, open a flower shop.
On June 12th, 1983, at the ages of 24 and 25, my parents were married. And since it was the middle of tomato season, they didn’t go on a honeymoon. They were married on a Saturday and both returned to work the following Monday.
A few months later, with the support of their families, my mom and dad started their own business, beer corner stores. They called them, Pop-A-Top. Eventually these corners stores morphed into Holiday Wine and Liquor. And today, my folks have been in business 36 years, own 9 stores and have been able to employ and create opportunity for thousands of families.
As newlyweds, when my parents needed a weekend to themselves, they would make the 5 hour road trip from the Rio Grande Valley to Austin, Texas. They would pack up their small red truck with koozies and stop at convenience stores along the way – selling their wares. This was their weekend spending money.
My heart has always beamed with pride with who I come from and where I come from.
And while to some people, failure is not an option. For me, grit is the only option.
My parents, entirely by their actions, taught me how to dig in and put one foot in front of the other.
Somehow I have put one foot in front of the other and willed myself into a speaking and writing career, loving on women and reminding them of their innate worth.
I went from a career in hospitality-- to writing a blog -- to trying to write a book – to actually publishing a book -- to getting all sorts of amazing praise for the book – and even to speaking on the TEDx stage.
I have willed myself into a life I love that loves me back. Enjoying and cherishing my husband, girls, and our adventures - every single day.
And none of this would have been possible without grit.
The other day I was in Colombia with my family and I sent my mom and dad this photo.
I thanked them for giving me such a beautiful life.
I’m a 35, married and a mama, and I absolutely know whose shoulders I stand on.
Could my parents ever have imagined their impact? Their lives have reached far and wide — through all the people they’ve touched, through all the people who have watched them walk through the world, through my readers and their children, and beyond.
Mom and Dad, I have endless gratitude for the people you are in the world and for the parents you have been to us. You are adored, cherished and valued. The world is a better place because of you.
Friend, there’s honor in seeing something on the horizon and doing your best to get there. If your heart is calling you to make a move, to go forward, to explore, to stay, to make a change, to fulfill a dream - listen. Will the road be easy? Nope. Do you have what it takes to walk the path? Yes.
Dig those heels in and give it your all. Begin.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
Shine your brightest,
The Courage to Become | Laura Morsman-Churchill
The Courage to Become a Business Owner + Enjoy it
Hey there! My name is Laura Morsman-Churchill, I created Laura Morsman Photography, my destination editorial photography company -- in 2013 when I first moved to Austin by total accident after years of working as a manager for Anthropologie! I am originally from Kansas City live in Austin, Texas with my music teacher husband John, and our two pups, Mr. Hitchens and Muffy!
Being the 2nd oldest child of 6 in my family, (with the youngest two currently 10 years old) many of my clients ask me how I can keep my calm in the middle of the chaos of working with so many people, and I always refer back to the incredibly beautiful circus living in a big family does to a person. You just go with the flow ;)
One thing I was afraid of doing but did anyway was….
Definitely starting my own business, but up until it happened, I had no idea that it was what I wanted to be doing!! I never had dreams of being an entrepreneur or a business owner. I went to college to become a child psychologist and art therapist, and left my senior year after a traumatic life event two semesters away from graduating. I honestly had no goal to be a photographer, and no clear direction with a career path. When people started asking me if I would photograph their families (after they saw me photograph my own big family), I just never said no, and now I'm here! It was definitely/honestly was a case of "fake it till you make it".
Getting started felt…
Absolutely crazy. I had been so conditioned to working a 40+ hour week, managing a team, setting monetary sales goal, with a bi-monthly paycheck and health insurance. When it came to the point where I grew to have each of my weekends taken up by photo shoots, my husband was absolutely the one responsible for pushing me past my comfort zone and finally stepping down as manager, to a part time employee, and finally taking my leave after almost 5 years with a company I truly loved.
My business wouldn't exist without that terrifying leap and definitely wouldn't have happened if my husband hadn't had been there to push me off the ledge of self-doubt.
Obstacles I faced getting started…
Oh man. Where to start. When I first started my photography business, I don't want to say that I didn't have confidence, I feel like that was one thing I did have because I didn't intend to be a photographer at all! With that, if I ever did get a push back or even just a question from a potential client about my prices, ideas, location options, I shrank on the inside.
Learning how to stand by what I was offering was one of the hardest details for me but once I got it, and knew that what I was offering was valuable, that was such a great area of growth that shifted my entire business. Dividing my actual worth and my business has been an incredibly hard but extremely powerful journey for me.
I am motivated by…
My love for people motivates me to keep photographing them. Knowing the intricacy and quickness of life keeps my mind desiring to document it as much as I can.
The most pivotal moment in my life to date was my closest friend suddenly passing away when I was 18. I had taken a photo of him hours before he was killed, and realizing how important that moment caught in time was to me, I think of how people view their loved ones, and I want to capture every ounce of spirit in my clients lives that I can.
We aren't promised anything in life, but we get into grooves where it feels as if we will have all that is around us forever. I do my best to document this world through the eyes of loving it so much, and then I give that viewpoint back to my clients. I love it so so much.
The living person I admire most is…
Without a doubt, it's Ellen DeGeneres. Despite the adversity she found herself in at the very start of her career, she persevered through the doubt and absolute judgement people put up against her best efforts and showed the world how to love, smile, and laugh, even amidst people's small mindedness or life's pains. Look at that shining, loving light of a person now and how many lives she has changed. She was always Ellen, and she knew that 100% without anyone's acceptance. It just took the world years to realize how much she had to share.
I would most like to have the talent to…
I would love to have the opposite of stage fright when it comes to singing!! My mom was an opera singer, and taught me the craft! I absolutely love LOVE singing... and in a former or future life, that would be what I'd be doing! One of these days you'll find me on a stage or at an outdoor venue singing a tune or two ;)
My most marked characteristic is…
I have been told often that I am very tolerant/patient. That totally makes me laugh though! I definitely go back to the whole large family bit. You can't be impatient when 5 people need dinner, want to play outside, are missing a shoe, trying to ride the dog like a horse, or need their seat belt buckled!
A motto I try to live by is…
As simple as it is, it's "Live and let live". In our life we always seem to wait for others to accept the way/path/route we've chosen before we accept it as OK for ourselves. Especially in a world where our lives are encouraged to be documented in portfolio form through social media and shown to the entire world essentially awaiting their approval. You do you and I'll do me, and let's just love each other through understanding, or if there isn't that, through acceptance and respect.
Some things I am proud to have accomplished are…
Hmm... That's hard to have an answer to! For me, my biggest accomplishments in my mind were emotional rather than career focused. My high school and college years were my toughest and some I almost didn't make it through. Accepting the recovery path after almost losing my life to anorexia and deciding to live past the pain in losing friends at an early age to me were things I never thought I could endure. I am still in awe of being on this side of those seasons and am more thankful than ever to be able to relate and walk with those going through the same experiences.
Some hopes I have for my future are…
I don't really know! It takes a lot for me to stay in the present. I love where I am, and if I could do this forever, I would! I am so happy with where this hustle has gotten me, I love my life. At this point, I get to travel to see my family, experience my youngest siblings growing up, and things keep getting better. I would love to photograph families, wedding and fashion all around the world. And I'm doing that! My hope for the future would be continued opportunities and continual expansion of where my photography finds itself!
One piece of advice I would give women about to embark on this journey is…
I talk about this all the time when people are approaching photography as a business, a blog, anything. You can't go into it with others’ opinions or acceptances being your compass or scale of your value or success. You go into something like this accepting success or failure with the same open arms, and also realizing that this isn't your only skill, your only value, or your only purpose. Someone asked me on a podcast interview if I had a plan B, and if I did, then I wasn't a real photographer. My answer was that if I didn't have a plan B, then I was shortchanging myself on my own abilities, because I am so much more than a photographer and if I needed to, I would totally dive into anything else I love doing!
The second part to this is the most important to me -- It's loving others and embracing their success despite your own. Your business shouldn't adjust your heart towards others, and if anything, it should stretch it. As hard as it is, try to nix competition and embrace encouragement.
If you tend to compare, put yourself down, and lose your steam when you are watching other's success -- don't watch others. If you find yourself feeling like a failure when you see others on Instagram seemingly soaring with their pursuits and business, do yourself a favor and shut that app OFF!
You do you, no one else can take that uniqueness away from you! Soon enough you'll see that your own ideas and the way you approach, brand, document your work will have its own personality since it isn't being squelched or influenced by people walking their own unique paths!
Essay by: Laura Morsman-Churchil
I am honored to know Laura, she is a gem of a person. Right?! Can't you just feel her peace. I think it's so powerful.
Run don't walk to Laura! You'll be glad you did!!!! She's based in Austin, but travels the country! Maybe she'll stop in your neck of the woods next!!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Cristina Reyna Neel
The Courage + Irony of Becoming a Bonus Mom
For crying out loud: When the courage and irony of parenting becomes loud and clear.
True confession: I hate loud noises.
I hate loud noises and I have twin stepsons. Naturally, loud is part of the package. “Loud” is in their bones. “Loud” is the very definition of who they are when they’re together. But the truth is that I seriously loathe loud. God’s honest truth is that anxiety shoots right up my spine at the first sounds of those inevitable screams between young brothers running through the house.
This so-called “noise sensitivity” is part of who I am as an adult child of an alcoholic, or an ACOA, as we call ‘em. Yeah, there’s an acronym for that. When unpredictable commotion is a regular part of your environment growing up, it can create a visceral reaction in pretty normal situations as an adult. So now I’m the grown-up. And my kids are the ones, well, being kids.
So I close my eyes when the disorder takes over. I take deep breaths. I talk myself down from that loud ledge of uneasiness when the twin tornado comes roaring through the living room. When the television is deafening. When it sounds like a herd of elephants are tap dancing upstairs. Sometimes it works. But sometimes it doesn’t.
The back patio provides some relief, although I can often hear the sibling rivalry from out there. And that’s when I ask myself, “Is it them? Or is it me?” It doesn’t take long to decide it’s me. I’m the adult after all. Or at least I’m supposed to be.
And then I pray for Patience to show herself. Thankfully, Wisdom is usually nearby to tap my shoulder with a gentle reminder that although our childhood experiences influence the present, they don’t have to dictate our reactions.
On one particular occasion, I sat on that patio in a panic of self-doubt, feeling angry and unfit to parent. I texted my mom:
“I don’t know if I can do this. It’s. Just. So. Loud. Why do they have to be SO LOUD? ”
She responded with the cringe-worthy honesty I needed at that moment:
“I love you, my once very active and noisy little girl. Your first sitter said you were going be a cheerleader because you’d stand in your crib and yell. I remember having your hearing tested thinking you were hearing impaired because you talked so loud. I had you checked for ADD because you were so active. Enrolling you in a dance class didn’t even help get your energy out.”
Mom followed this text with lots of kissy emojis and hearts and I laughed through my tears.
“THANKS, MOM., I’m surprised you didn’t drop me off at the fire station and run!”
She told me what I needed to hear. And how could I not laugh at Irony stomping around my house in the form of two little boys?
When I met their dad, I knew it would take courage to become a bonus mom – a role I hadn’t really imagined myself filling. When this “very active and noisy little girl” pictured her future, she knew she’d become a professional, a leader, a writer and probably a wife. Stepmom, however was definitely not part of the plan. But life is what happens, right? When you’re making other plans.
Today, when I look closely at the past few years, I begin to comprehend the traditions I’ve cultivated with this precious family of mine: Family game night. Glow stick dance parties. Summer road trips. The annual corn maze. Homemade heart-shaped pizzas. Making cascarones. Crossing our favorite bridge on the last day of school. The list is long.
That’s when I see a mom staring back at me. And sometimes that mom happens to wear earplugs.
Essay by: Cristina Reyna Neel
Don't you love Cristina?! Her sense of humor is just what the doctor ordered. :)
If you'd like to get more of Cristina's work, be sure to visit her on TWITTER AND INSTAGRAM.
AND Be sure to subscribe to her Blog - Right as Reyna.
*As a side note, her Instagram is HILARIOUS! She posts quotes her boys say - this is the latest!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
“Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!”
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
Claim Yours
Originally published on 2-18-13
I have grown up in a family that even though we’re well intentioned we’re not always the healthiest. We like many others have fallen into a pattern of celebrating with food and drink and as a bonus since my folks own liquor stores; there’s been plenty of drinking. Each of us had our battles with weight and some of us have been more successful than others but this weekend we handed out our first ever “Most Improved Player” award.
My 25 year old brother Carlos has always been overweight, but since he’s been overweight since I can remember, from my perspective it never felt like such an overwhelming problem. I always thought he’s young; he’ll have time to fix himself up. During high school and parts of college Carlos was active but like most of America he let his health fall by the wayside.
Well about a year ago something clicked in his head and he started to drink less, eat right and workout. Slowly we all saw his transformation first it was -10 pounds, then -20 pounds, then -50 pounds and even -80 pounds.
Last fall when he had dropped 84 pounds he and I went skydiving as a celebration of life and accomplishment. It was truly exhilarating. As an added anxiety bonus, the weight maximum for someone Carlos’ height was 231 and when the sky diving attendance asked him to step on the scale to check his weight we both started at the digital numbers in anticipation and then then verdict was 228! We’re in. Tiger Woods arm pump! We both breathed a sigh of relief and suited up for the sky dive. Then we got nervous about the dive! We were so busy worrying about his weight we had forgotten to worry about dropping from 10,000 feet in the air!
A few weeks later at negative 90 pounds my brothers and our friend and I participated in a Tough Mudder race. It’s a 12 mile obstacle course with 25 military style like obstacles. We trekked through miles of mud, survived 3 electrocution obstacles (yes actual electrocution), scaled 20 foot walls, jumped in pools of water from 30 feet high and swam through ice cold 32 degree water, we felt exhilarated! It was nuts. But, Carlos’ being in shape was crucial to the team. Two people were Life Flighted from the race that day.
Then yesterday at -105 pounds he ran the Livestrong Austin running event and completed his first half marathon! He signed up of his own volition and trained old school with an ipod and some running shoes. Yesterday Carlos finished 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 7 minutes and solidified the age old adage; you can do anything you put your mind to.
What a privilege to see him grow and learn and discover a new found sense of pride and confidence.
To anyone who is out there reading this waiting to take the first step, don’t wait another second. Go reclaim your life. Take it.