How to be a Better Parent | Week 51 | Confidence Revolution
Week 51!
Can you believe it? You have done such an amazing job walking this road. I am proud of you!
If you’ve never heard of Dr. Shefali Tsabary, allow me to introduce you.
If you are a parent, a child, if you want to know how to have more joy, how to be in flow more, how to relax into life more --- Dr. Shefali is for you!
I have been a longtime fan of Dr. Shefali (and so has Oprah! I have good taste. Lol – Dr. Shefali is Oprah’s foremost expert on parenting.)
At a conference in San Antonio - I had the chance to meet Dr. Shefali at a conference, and I worked up the nerve to ask her to read my book – and this is what she had to say.
I was REALLY EXCITED AND HONORED!
In my book (coming soon!) I reference Dr. Shefali's first book The Conscious Parent. A few things that Dr. Shefali highlights in this book is that as parents most of us:
1. Assume since we are older we KNOW BETTER (wrong) and
2. Don’t really see our children, rather we try to mold them
3. Project our unresolved issues onto our children and
4. That most of our unresolved issues were handed down to us by folks who also had unresolved issues. (oops)
Now these points are VERY basic. I just finished a 4 month long course with Dr. Shefali where she DELVES into these subjects – so know these are just bullet points and there are MANY MORE LAYERS.
Some basic examples of unconsciously trying to mold children are:
The mom who always loved pageants as a child and insists that her daughter also be involved in pageants. Does the daughter really like pageants or would she rather play soccer?
Or
The father who had dreams of making the NFL but never quite did – so he pushes his son into competitive football, even though the son doesn’t show any interest.
Or – a seemingly more noble cause
The parents who push and schedule their 3 year to learn a new language because they want her to be ready for the Ivy League once application time rolls around.
None of these examples are “bad” on their face. The children will most certainly learn good skills from pageantry, football and academics – but is it what they want or are the parents just working out unresolved issues of insecurity, lack, boredom, etc.?
The first time I was introduced to the notion of unconscious molding it was hard to hear.
I most certainly want my daughter to have a good, joy filled life – but maybe her version of good and joy filled life is being a yoga teacher and rescuing dogs – maybe it’s not attending Yale and being an international speaker (my dream.)
The Conscious Parent encouraged me to not only facilitate my daughter’s life (she’s only 2.5), but to SEE her, and to tune into Alexandra’s voice -- literally and figuratively. Seeing Alexandra as a person rather than just a mini-me allowed me to release expectations and simply enjoy her. <3 <3
love and grace, catia
Learn to speak LOVE | Week 13 | Confidence Revolution
Have you found that love comes in all shapes and sizes? There’s BIG love, spontaneous love, platonic love, fizzle out love (you know the kind), forever love, unconditional love (my favorite!) and intentional love (okay – really my favorite!) just to name a few.
And have you also found that no matter the label placed on it – you KNOW when you feel loved? It’s an undeniable sensation, you know you are welcome to be your authentic no-is-home-and-you-can-do whatever-you-want self. :)
If you're in a long term relationship with someone (a spouse, a friend, a girlfriend/boyfriend, children, family members), you have a wonderfully unique opportunity in front of you. You have the chance to GROW in love as well as GROW the love between you and the other person.
Relationships are not easy, even challenging at times, but they don’t have to be a slog. They are supposed to make us feel good! They can bring us joy, laughter and a sense of security. Relationships can even be the unwavering foundation we stand on when we look into the big bright world. But before they can be all that, they have to be tended to.
In this week’s Week 13 Confidence Revolution lesson I am introducing two books.
1) The Zimzum of Love and
2) The 5 Love Languages
Marriage is different for everyone, but for me, it is my center and so I don’t just wish it well, I invest in it. I enjoy tending to it, and these books have helped fortify my marriage.
If there’s a relationship that you’d like to strengthen, that you’d like to see flourish, that you’d like to get more out of, watch this video for some guidance.
The great news is that tailored love can be satisfying, fulfilling and uplifting. When you love someone well, you give a gift from the heavens.
You deserve to love and be loved fiercely.
love and grace, catia
Hey guys - if you're looking to feel better, feel happy and feel confident - I have something for you.
I 100% wrote this in service of you. I want you to find joy in everyday life!
Love!
More is Caught than Taught | Week 3 | Confidence Revolution
Guys, week 3! I hope you're making the most of your time today. Love the ones your with, it all goes by in a flash.
This week's video is a peek into WHY I started all of this in the first place (I'll give you a hint, she's tiny and has crazy bed head from her nap) and how I think it can be of value in your life.
"The wound is the place where light enters you." -Rumi. Y'all, the light entered big time for me. Don't be afraid of hurting, it always pushes us further along.