Unspoken Truth + Weight | Week 37 | Confidence Revolution
Have you ever known what you needed to do, but didn’t want to take the steps to make it happen because you were just going along to get along? Or maybe you didn’t want to speak your truth because you didn’t want to rock the boat? Or maybe you didn’t want to say what you were thinking OUTLOUD, because God forbid, you would appear high maintenance?
Me too.
We started our IVF journey in mid-January. I took hormones that sent my body into menopause and at the same time took hormones that made my body mature eggs at Usain Bolt speed. I administered 4 shots a day every day. I was bloated, in pain and praying for a healthy baby. I had blood draws every 2-3 days and had doctor’s appointments at the same rate, and on top of it all we were spending a boat load of money to make it all happen.
In early March we had our first embryo implant and by the end of March we learned that the baby did not take and that we were not pregnant. It was a very sad day and few weeks for our family. Were we going to have another baby?
Just about that time, God started whispering to me and I knew I was supposed to change doctors. Only changing doctors WAS NOT something that our IVF clinic responded well to. Once a doctor was assigned to you, they wanted to see it through. But I KNEW I NEEDED TO SWITCH. I knew on the next go around, we would have a healthy baby, IF I could switch who the implant doctor would be.
Afraid of appearing HIGH MAINTENANCE, I said nothing and my anxiety started to bubble up. I couldn’t quite work up the courage to ask for the switch, until one day there was a wrinkle in my original doctor’s calendar and I quickly spoke up and asked to be under the care of NEW DOCTOR.
The nurse sighed and told me that their office didn’t like it -- I pushed anyway. She said my switching doctors was going to rock the boat -- I pushed anyway.
Eventually they obliged and NEW DOCTOR implanted the next embryo and now we are 22 weeks pregnant!
I was going through ALL that, trying to bring a life into the world and I was afraid of appearing/being high maintenance!!! Who is this person that started the, Confidence Revolution anyway?!
And as soon as I asked for what I wanted, as soon as I was true to my intuition, I felt better, lighter, RELIEVED.
There is a space where being kind and gentle to others, meets being kind and true to OURSELVES. That’s where we should aim to live. We should not forsake our truth for fear of change or disruption, instead we should aim to be so in touch with our truth and our emotions that we can quickly identify them and allow ourselves to be guided by them.
Maybe your unacknowledged truth is something small, but maybe it’s something big. Maybe you are gay and have never said it out loud, maybe you really want to be an artist and feel like you’re suffocating at your desk job. Maybe you would rather your mother-in-law not treat your children one way, but you’re afraid to speak up. Maybe you’re battling abuse or addiction and you’re afraid to say anything because saying it out loud will require change. Maybe you’re in a relationship that you know is not for you but you’re afraid of hurting the person, so you go along to get along.
All of those fears are understandable, but you can either confront the fear (the weird feeling, the awkward change) or it will sit inside you and create such a heaviness in you that your light will begin to fade and eventually go out.
When we know and speak our truth we are able to walk around unburdened, light and joyful.
And that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, light and joy.
love and grace, catia
If someone sweetly sent you this email and you'd like to become your most confident self, be more joyful, have better relationships and live a life you enjoy - JOIN the
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The Courage to Become | Week 36 | Confidence Revolution
Encouraging people and giving them the tools to be who they most want to be, has been my passion since before I had the language for it.
Yesterday I received an email from a high school classmate,
“…I had my child when I was a freshman in high school. I didn’t know much English but despite my struggles, you made a difference in my life back then, always being so nice to me and just showing me that there’s always somebody that just with a helping hand and a smile can change somebody’s world. That person was you!! Just want to say, thank you.”
I cried when I read it and I’m crying now. (Maybe it’s the hormones.)
So many people have given so much to me, have guided me, and have loved me into who I am today and who I continue to become. It is my HONOR to pay it forward, to give you the love and the tools kind folks have given me.
When I have been afraid and in a tough spot, or confused, it has always helped me to look out and find someone who had been THROUGH and who had come out the other side. It always helped me to see someone living out what I wanted to live out. It helped me get my footing, and work up courage until I could stand on my own two feet.
I’m thinking that seeing and hearing from folks who have garnered, the courage to become people they were proud of, will help you too.
Starting next week I am honored to host a guest blog series titled, The Courage to Become: Sister Stories of Hope. Each week we will highlight one amazing women who walked through the fear and uncertainty and became someone she was proud of.
These women have become: artists, dancers, writers, moms, teachers, entrepreneurs, wives, bloggers, photographers, reporters, and business women.
I am sure that their vulnerability, determination and grit will inspire us all!
If you’d like to get their inspirational stories straight to you inbox – join here.
love and grace, catia
What to do when you fall | Week 34 | Confidence Revolution
A few months ago I applied to be a TEDx speaker. This particular TEDx event was going to be held in my hometown. I didn’t think I was a shoe in, but I absolutely thought I had a good shot at it. I applied as a writer and motivational speaker. I have been writing for 6 years now, and even have a book, The Courage to Become, coming out in December, I thought, I have to have a good chance! Guys, I even know one of the organizers! How sweet it was going to be, me on a TEDx stage!
Well…one week went by, crickets. Two weeks went by, nothing. Three months went by, goose egg.
No call back, no stock rejection letter, nothing. Nothing at all!!!
I had failed. Right?
Maybe.
I’m currently listening to the book, Rising Strong, by Dr. Brene Brown. The premise of the book is, when we are in the arena of life and we are trying, the question is not if we will fall, but when. And when we do fall, when we find ourselves face down in the dirt, what is the story we tell ourselves.
Dr. Brown found that the determining factor for how quick people recovered was the type of stories they told themselves when they realized they had “failed.”
For example, let’s say, someone is applying for a promotion within their department. Let’s say they apply and a month goes by without a call back. Some people may tell themselves stories like, “they never liked me anyway,” or “I’d better start looking for another job now,” or “I’ll show them just how much they need me!” While others tell themselves stories like, “Maybe my application got lost,” or “maybe the person reviewing the applications is backlogged with work,” or “maybe they are waiting to promote me next month so they can also give me a raise!”
Brown continues to teach that the more optimistic person tells themselves positive things but also garners up the courage to confront the situation. They may bring it to their superiors’ attention or they may address it head on, “Hi, I was just wondering if you knew I applied and if there’s anything I can do help the process along,” or “Hi, I’m feeling unsure right now about my job performance since I haven’t received a call back.” All of those take GUTS to say!!!! But we can do hard things.
The key determining factor between the time we fall and the time we rise is the kind of story we tell ourselves when we are face down. The stories we create can be harmful or helpful. And the amazing part is that WE GET TO CHOOSE! We are in total control.
So -- did I tell myself that I suck and I’m never going to be on big public speaking stage? No way! Did I tell myself that I should have tried harder or that I’m not good enough? No way! When I realized I hadn’t been chosen, I told myself that maybe I needed a little more experience, that maybe they had too many women on the ticket and they needed more men. I told myself that maybe it wasn’t the right time for me to address my hometown. And then, I let it go. I let it go and I went back to work.
I didn’t fail. I fell.
When you realize you have fallen:
· Tell yourself a positive message, and repeat it yourself.
· Ask for clarity. Maybe, just maybe there was a miscommunication or misunderstanding. Tell the person how you are feeling.
· Tell yourself you can handle it, get up, rise strong, and get back to living your purpose.
love and grace, catia
Who do you think you are? | Week 19 | Confidence Revolution
I can instantly recall the feeling of being bullied. My insides want to curl up like a rollie pollie. "Please, leave me alone."
I grew up in an upper middle class home in a lower middle class community and the fact that my mom dropped me off in a Ford Taurus station wagon and always had me dressed neatly was enough to send my school mates over the edge. On top of the FLASHY hatchback, I enjoyed school (God forbid) and enjoyed forming relationships with teachers and never felt like I fit in with my peers. Chicken or the egg? I'm not quite sure. My classmates were into video games and pogs and I was into getting an extra 5 points on my spelling test.
Girls would snicker and from time to time confront me face to face. "Who do you think you are?" "You think you're better than us?" "You think you're so good?" "You think you're going to make it?" "Why do you try so hard?" And then the dreaded "telling off" in Spanish. THE WORST. They talked so fast and cursed so well, I couldn't even keep up. Rollie pollie powers, ACTIVATE NOW.
That question of "who do you think you are?" has haunted me ever since. And people from my youth still rattle it off from time to time and most times I brush it off, but sometimes it gets under my skin.
Have you ever felt the need to defend who you are, your passions? Have you ever felt the need to explain why you are making certain choices or lobby folks to get them to support you? Me too. And I think it's about time we stop.
You have permission, FOREVER, (and in my opinion what is in the realm of kind and loving), to do what brings you joy.
BUT...
Sometimes it's not others we are trying to convince, sometimes, we are trying to convince ourselves. Our own negative chatter box floats to the top of our consciousness and we let it overrun our control center and all we hear is, "there are so many other people who already do it better, what's the point?" Or "You're 40! You have a career, why start something new?" Or "You're 25, no one is going to take you seriously. What do you have to say that others haven't already said?" "Why are you trying so hard anyway?"
When that is happening, and you feel your insides over heating, take a step back and check in with your soul. Ask it, "Is this what you WANT to do, will this bring you joy?" If the answer is, YES, then -- keep the bus moving. Ego will try to hold us back (strangely) because it's afraid of not being THE BEST, or, THE FIRST. But soul says, "I want to play too!"
When the question arises, "Who do you think you are?" No need to get overheated or curl in on yourself like a rollie pollie. Just say, "I am God's child and I'm trying something new. I really enjoy this and I'm seeing where it takes me.
love and grace, catia
If someone sweetly sent you this email and you'd like to become your most confident self, be more joyful, have better relationships and live a life you enjoy - JOIN the
#confidencerevolution here: Join Now.
Armor and Security Blankets | Week 16 | Confidence Revolution
Do you remember being young and toting around your favorite teddy bear, or Hot Wheels car, or blankie? Do you remember just how important it was to your existence. MUST HAVE LOVIE! For our daughter, it's her cup of awwwwaa, agua or water to the rest of us. When she's unsure of her situation, she clutches onto her awwwwaaa for dear life.
As we grow older, lovies and teddy bears fall by the wayside, but we learn to cling onto other things. As adults, when we feel unsure of ourselves we grab for - food, alcohol, fancier clothes, bigger diamonds, higher heels, bigger homes, more successful businesses. We all have some kind of armor that we suit up with before we go into an unsure situation. What will we wear? What will we say? How will we prove we are worth being there? And though most of our security blankets are imperceptible to the naked eye, they are there, whispering to us that we need them.
About a year ago I began to identify the armor I layer on before I head into unfamiliar situations. I realized that when I was with people I loved and who I knew loved me, I dressed one way and when I was meeting people for the first time, I dressed another way. It was plainly obvious . When I felt safe, I didn't need a security blanket, BUT when I felt unsafe, I LOADED UP on security blankets.
And with that awareness, God bless awareness, I began needing my forms of awwwwaaaaless and less.
I'm not advocating that you stop eating or drink or buying higher heels or working harder at your career, I'm only advocating that you don't NEED to in order to be safe. You're already safe.
You need NOT be adorned to be loved. You are loved JUST as you are. Let yourself be seen, you are PLENTY.
love and grace, catia
If someone sweetly sent you this email and you'd like to become your most confident self, be more joyful, have better relationships and live a life you enjoy - JOIN the
#confidencerevolution here: Join Now.
Learn to speak LOVE | Week 13 | Confidence Revolution
Have you found that love comes in all shapes and sizes? There’s BIG love, spontaneous love, platonic love, fizzle out love (you know the kind), forever love, unconditional love (my favorite!) and intentional love (okay – really my favorite!) just to name a few.
And have you also found that no matter the label placed on it – you KNOW when you feel loved? It’s an undeniable sensation, you know you are welcome to be your authentic no-is-home-and-you-can-do whatever-you-want self. :)
If you're in a long term relationship with someone (a spouse, a friend, a girlfriend/boyfriend, children, family members), you have a wonderfully unique opportunity in front of you. You have the chance to GROW in love as well as GROW the love between you and the other person.
Relationships are not easy, even challenging at times, but they don’t have to be a slog. They are supposed to make us feel good! They can bring us joy, laughter and a sense of security. Relationships can even be the unwavering foundation we stand on when we look into the big bright world. But before they can be all that, they have to be tended to.
In this week’s Week 13 Confidence Revolution lesson I am introducing two books.
1) The Zimzum of Love and
2) The 5 Love Languages
Marriage is different for everyone, but for me, it is my center and so I don’t just wish it well, I invest in it. I enjoy tending to it, and these books have helped fortify my marriage.
If there’s a relationship that you’d like to strengthen, that you’d like to see flourish, that you’d like to get more out of, watch this video for some guidance.
The great news is that tailored love can be satisfying, fulfilling and uplifting. When you love someone well, you give a gift from the heavens.
You deserve to love and be loved fiercely.
love and grace, catia
Hey guys - if you're looking to feel better, feel happy and feel confident - I have something for you.
I 100% wrote this in service of you. I want you to find joy in everyday life!
Love!
Confidence Is... | Week 12 | Confidence Revolution
"Am I wearing the right outfit?" "I wonder what he thinks of me." "Does my coworker think I'm cool?" "Is this picture going to look good?" "What are people going to think of me when I post this photo? I hope they think I look good."
I have missed entire evenings, vacations even -- because I was so worried about LOOKING a certain way, worried about what people were thinking of me. In hind sight I think, what a shame. What a shame that I was so self absorbed that I forsook amazing experiences. But I needed to go through that to get where I am today. Growing pains, I suppose.
As I age what's really important in life becomes more clear and I move away from superficial things like appearance -- and move more toward looking at the person sitting across from me. And not only looking at them, but appreciating them for their beauty. There is so much to take in, to learn and to hear from others. God lives me and God lives in everyone else too.
Life is so much more satisfying when we look outward, connect and invite people to be their authentic selves.
Take a butterfly - adorded by many. Beautiful and graceful. But butterflies BECAME. We must be willing to crack open and change the way we exist to experience this life in all it's richness.
love and grace, catia
Funny blooper about minute 4! The show must go on. :)
Hey guys - if you're looking to feel better, feel happy and feel confident - I have something for you.
I 100% wrote this in service of you. I want you to find joy in everyday life!
Love!
How Gratitude Transforms | Week 11 | Confidence Revolution
Gratitude is not always easy. But learning how to practice gratitude and consistently expressing our gratitude transforms what we have into more than enough.
How Gratitude Transforms
Gratitude is not always easy. But learning how to practice gratitude and consistently expressing our gratitude transforms what we have into more than enough.
Not only giving thanks but actually expressing it helps keep us in the present moment of our lives. It keeps us from living in the past and from worrying about the future. We have the power to control our thoughts and consequently our emotions.
We can be grateful for things large and small. From a fragrant flower on our evening walk to getting through traffic to our appointment on time, it all matters. And when we are aware of our surroundings, we inevitably practice being present. And being in the RIGHT NOW opens our eyes to the brightness of the world.
Most nights I walk Beau (12 and going strong!) and I pray. But the other night I was so overwhelmed with life that I couldn't really eek the words out to God. I thought he'd understand - and so I just said, "thank you." I thanked him for everything I could think of. As Master Eckhart says, "If the only prayer you say is, thank you, that will be enough."
Practice gratitude in the good days and when the tough days come along, you will have built up so much gratitude muscle memory that it will automatically take over. Even in the terrible, days when life seems like too much, there is something to be thankful for. Personal example here.
love and grace, catia
Hey guys - if you're looking to feel better, feel happy and feel confident - I have something for you.
I 100% wrote this in service of you. I want you to find joy in everyday life!
Love!
What are Your Gifts? | Week 10 | Confidence Revolution
Your gifts are worth celebrating.
Let's Identify Your Gifts
Your gifts are worth being celebrated AND they are worth being explored AND they are worth being shared.
There are legions of us out there who don't feel like we have gifts to offer the world, but we most certainly do.
EACH of us is worthy of being heard, of being honored and of taking part in the conversation. All that life asks of us is that we show up.
Last night I forced myself to go to a neighborhood mom's meeting. It always makes me a little nervous because I don't really know anyone and I know I'll have to stretch and have some 'blind date' type of courage. But during the meeting a fellow mom kindly sat down next to me and we started talking and it went like this... "I get you!" "Me too." "Me too." "I know, right?" My heart could have burst. And I came home thrilled to have met a new friend. But if I would have stayed home in my pjs, I wouldn't have experienced any of it.
It's okay to be scared. We CAN walk with fear, into the unknown because we CAN handle it.
Let's turn our attention inside and realize that we are full of gifts and skill and one-of-a-kind qualities. People will like us and pay attention to us, not because we are the best, but because we see them and we allow ourselves to be seen.
PS. In this video I recommend the book Carry On, Warrior, you can find it here. I finished the book last night and I'm lamenting not having it for a few minutes before I go to sleep every night. Ladies, you're going to love it!
Hey guys - if you're looking to feel better, feel happy and feel confident - I have something for you.
I 100% wrote this in service of you. I want you to find joy in everyday life!
Love!
How to Accomplish Goals | Week 8 | Confidence Revolution
A few years ago I ran a marathon with my brother, Carlos -- a full one! 26.2, guys. It was crazy.
The thing is, I am the least athletic person YOU will EVER meet. I have trouble catching a highlighter yellow softball. So when I signed up for the marathon I knew I had my work cut out for me.
Instead of getting overwhelmed with the thought of running TWENTY SIX POINT TWO miles in a row, I broke it down into tiny increments. Tiny. For example, I would tell myself, "You only have to run to the next mail box," or "You only have to make it to the next stop sign." And somehow I always managed --because if my goals were running 100 or 200 yards at a time, it was no problem. But if my goal was running for 4.5 hours straight - I would just cry.
And since then, that's how I have approached life. Teeny tiny increments. And at every point, I congratulate myself and set the next goal. This strategy has helped me eat better, nurse my baby for a year, run a marathon, write a book, and even re-organize the kitchen!
Set a goal, break it down and let your goals craft your decision making. Sometimes we can take two steps forward and one step back, and that's okay. But sometimes we have it in us to take 2 steps forward and then 1 more step forward and then 1 more step forward.
Don't be afraid to give up the good, to go for the great. -Steve Prefontaine
Take some deep breaths and make this week count. :)
Guys - if you want to feel better, feel happy and feel confident - this gift is for you.
I made this 100% to be of service to you.
Love!
What would Kate Middleton do? | Week 7 | Confidence Revolution
What would Kate Middleton do?
Nice to see you today!
Do you wish other people would treat you better? Are you tired of that old friend or family member disrespecting you?
Today's mini lesson is one tactic that helps build standards for the way YOU treat yourself and for the ways OTHERS treat you. I didn't quite know how to do that - so today I share with you how I pulled myself out of a streak of junky relationships.
We experience the universe at the level that we are at. If we rise in thought AND in action, the universe rises to meet us. Let's make the decision to rise!
We all learn a few different ways. I am a visual and social learner - as evidenced by today's video. If you're not sure how you learn best, click here and do some exploring. This may help when you're taking on new challenges!
And don't forget we're building a library of video goodies. You can go back to them whenever you need a little life boost! Video library here. If you're on You Tube be sure to subscribe!
You are blooming into the fullness of your best self.
Do you wish other people would treat you better? Are you tired of that old friend or family member disrespecting you? Today's mini lesson is one strategy on how to build boundaries and expectations for the way YOU treat yourself and for the ways OTHERS treat you.
Would you like a ham or turkey sandwich? | Week 5 | Confidence Revolution
Is your week going alright? I hope so! I had Mexican food last night so I'm a happy camper.
Today I am sharing with you what two things you can focus on that will help you make decisions you feel good about and that you are proud of. I describe how you can build a life you LIKE and even LOVE.
When a decision is on the table, listen to your inner voice, you are wise beyond your years. Your mind and body KNOW what to do, you just have to have to get still enough to listen and have enough courage to follow through.
This is kind of turning into an online classroom, who knew? Podcast coming soon in April! Let me know what you like and love and things you're looking forward to!
And let's all say a prayer for Mr. Peyton Manning! :)
Today I am sharing with you what two things you can focus on that will help you make decisions you feel good about and that you are proud of.
Don't feed your subconcious Hot Cheetos | Week 4 | Confidence Revolution
Friends!
So far we've talked about what the #confidencerevolution is, why I'm pumped about it and why we will succeed. If you're new, welcome! Take a few minutes to watch videos 1-3 and soak in the goodness.
In this week's episode I talk about our mental chatter box and just how much power it has over us.
I also suggest a book that CHANGED my life for the better and how I think it can help you too.
With every teeny tiny modification you are changing your life for the better. I am proud of you!
If you're new, welcome! Take a few minutes to watch videos 1-3 and soak in the goodness. In this week's episode I talk about our mental chatter box and just how much power it has over us.
More is Caught than Taught | Week 3 | Confidence Revolution
Guys, week 3! I hope you're making the most of your time today. Love the ones your with, it all goes by in a flash.
This week's video is a peek into WHY I started all of this in the first place (I'll give you a hint, she's tiny and has crazy bed head from her nap) and how I think it can be of value in your life.
"The wound is the place where light enters you." -Rumi. Y'all, the light entered big time for me. Don't be afraid of hurting, it always pushes us further along.
Airport encounter | Week 2| Confidence Revolution
Why you will succeed.
We're on the road to increased self-esteem! I'm thrilled to be trekking together. Guys, increased confidence relieves so much.
This week's video has to do with originality and success and real life.
Let me know how you're feeling and about any progress you've made. And as always I'm available for specific questions.
