This is Embarassing | Week 50 | Confidence Revolution
My entire life I wanted to be discovered.
From a very young age I had visions of an agent plucking me out of obscurity and taking me to the big time.
Guys, I AM SO DEAD SERIOUS.
I’d go on family vacations with my folks and brothers and as early as age 9 – I’d sit by the pool with a book or walk on the beach, or laugh in just the right way ( I know – embarrassing!) so that JUST IN CASE there was a talent agent nearby – I WOULD BE READY.
I heard stories of girls getting discovered and being on rocket ships to stardom. And so I just knew that I would be able manifest the same. “Any moment now, any moment now, any….”
Radio silence…for years.
Why had those girls gotten discovered and not me?
I desperately wanted a crane to drop in, scoop me up and place me into this new “I had made it life.”
For decades I wanted this…until sometime in the last 6 months – I had a flash of wisdom – flashes come to me once in a while. ;)
My journey was not about someone discovering me, my journey was about me DISCOVERING MYSELF.
Along the way I have pushed myself and done things my skill set deemed unlikely if not impossible. Some of my favorites were: being drum major in high school (I was an okay musician– but not great), getting a master’s degree (I was naturally a B student), running a marathon (I am a terrible but determined runner), building a web site (I taught myself from scratch), and writing a book (I sat my butt down and wrote every day for 1 year).
My journey is about me discovering what I am made of. And it hasn’t been easy, but it’s been BEYOND rewarding.
If the talent agent, the crane, had come and picked me up out of obscurity – I may not have developed a sense of duty, determination and tenacity. I may not have ever pushed myself. I may not have figured out what I was capable of. I may have gotten to “the big show” and crumbled because I hadn’t built up my inner self!
If you’re out there wanting to be discovered or validated – I’m here to say – You’re the one. You’re the one who is going to have to SHOW UP. And once you’ve shown yourself that YOU CAN – no can take that away from you. No one can take away your struggles and triumphs and that unshakable sense of confidence. You can stand taller because YOU ARE.
I finally gave up wanting to be discovered – but I stayed on the yellow brick road to my discovery – and I am all the better for it. I know who I am, I know what I can do and I know what I can give – and I know that I can always figure it out.
And that’s what I want for you – I want you to know that you strong and that you can make it and that you can always figure it out.
love and grace, catia
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Joseph Schooling + the GOAT | Week 40 | Confidence Revolution
This was Joseph Schooling in 2008. He was 13 years old and at that point had lived in Singapore his entire life.
As a young boy, Joseph began training as a serious swimmer and in 2008 when the US Swim team trained in Singapore, Joseph got to meet one of his heroes, Michael Phelps.
In 2009 Joseph Schooling moved to Jacksonville, Florida and began more serious swim training, setting his sights on one day competing and beating Michael Phelps. RIDICULOUS, SINCE HE WAS ONLY 14 AND MICHAEL PHELPS HAD ALREADY SECURED 22 GOLD MEDALS.
We all know Phelps just retired as the GOAT (greatest-of-all-time -- you see, I keep up with trends!) decorated with 28 medals, but what happened to Schooling?
Well, Schooling is now 21, attends The University of Texas at Austin ( Hook ‘Em!) and most recently earned the FIRST EVER GOLD MEDAL for his home country of Singapore. You see, he swam the 100m butterfly and oh yeah, BEAT MICHAEL PHELPS.
The headlines read:
“Joseph Schooling, the boy who beat Michael Phelps eight years after meeting his Olympic hero.”
“21-year-old Schooling was just 13 when he met his idol. Now, he's beaten the most successful Olympian of all time and become Singapore's first ever gold medalist.”
“Joseph Schooling rocked the swimming world when he defeated the most successful Olympic athlete of all time in Michael Phelps, eight years after he met the 22-time gold medalist as a young boy.”
“21-year-old Schooling triumph in the thrilling 100m butterfly final that saw Singapore claim its first ever Olympic gold medal.”
“Phelps was beaten by a 21-year-old who grew up idolizing the most decorated athlete in Olympic history.”
When asked about his triumph, Schooling responded, "That's pretty crazy, what happens in eight years.”
Yes, yes it is.
Guys, I dream BIG.
I’ve watched 5,674 hours of Oprah. I have watched so much I know that when she interviews authors, she picks a few sentences she loves from their books, flags them and reads the prose back to them. Oprah will read the sentence and say something like, “ I love that!,” or “Tell me more about that,” or “That’s good.”
And when I was writing my book, The Courage to Become, (out in December!), once in while I would write a really good sentence and I would see Oprah sitting across from me. And I would hear her reading the sentence back to me. Just as I have seen her do with other authors. Just me and my gal, Oprah, discussing The Courage to Become.
That sounds insane right? I know.
But so does a 13 year old trying to beat the most decorated Olympic athlete of ALL TIME.
So many of us fear dreaming BIG, seeking BIG, reaching BIG – because we’re afraid of what happens if we don’t reach the top of the mountain.
But, I would encourage you to flip that and ask yourself, what happens if I dream small, seek small and reach small?
If Schooling didn’t beat Phelps would we have looked down on him? NO. If I don’t ever sit across from Oprah will I be a failure? NO -- because I will have tried and stumbled and tried again and enriched myself and others in the process.
Don’t be afraid to dream BIG and to dream OUT LOUD. The only thing standing between you and the top of your mountain is a clear goal and devotion. If you get tired, learn to rest, not quit.
love and grace, catia
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Time-outs and Horoscopes | Week 30 | Confidence Revolution
A few weeks ago we implemented time-out because Alexandra is going through a hitting phase.
It has been tough. When she gets angry and she’s not getting what she wants, she swats (mostly at me.) Some days she swats and flails all over the place and since she is a strong young lady, sometimes I feel like I’m actually dodging her. Strange.
We have a mat that we sit her on for 2 minutes when she’s in time-out. Most times we have to battle her to stay on it, what can I say, it’s a work in progress. And after every time-out session I give her a hug and ask her to sit down next to me.
“Let’s have a conversation,” I say as I pat the floor.
She sits next to me and I remind her that she gets to choose. I will never put her in time-out willy nilly. The only reason she experiences time-out is because SHE made the decision to get there. I remind her that she gets to control her decision making and that each decision will render good and bad consequences. EVERY SINGLE DECISION.
Maybe you’re thinking, “She’s only 2, she can’t possibly understand.” Maybe you’re right, but I’m betting she can.
I remind her that her Papa and I love her and I ask her, “Do we hit in this family?” She always shakes her head no. And then I ask her if she’s going to hit again, and she mumbles, “No ma’am.” We hug and kiss and we each go on our way.
I do this EVERY TIME I put her in time-out, which is about twice a day now. And through the day, I try to remind her, about consequences, both good and bad.
And in the last few weeks, something magical has happened, I have started making better decisions. I have started being more kind and more understanding. I have been able to stay between the lines, even when I have really wanted to go outside of them. Funny how this parenting thing works!
A few weeks ago I read my horoscope and it noted how we are shaped by the things we do, AND ALSO by things we were going to do and though better of, but didn’t.
You see, we get credit for what we do, but it’s the things that we don’t do – the phone call we DON’T make in anger, the finger we DON’T flip in road rage, the attitude we DON’T give our boss, the detail we DON’T point out to prove we were right, the piece of trash we DON’T throw on the ground just because no one is looking- that form the foundation of our character.
I saw this movie some time ago, The Counselor, part of the movie has stuck with me ever since. One of the main characters says,
The world in which you seek to undo the mistakes that you made is different from the world where the mistakes were made. You are now at the crossing. And you want to choose, but there is no choosing there. There's only accepting. The choosing was done a long time ago…
When we’re two, we have an excuse for not knowing better, maybe even when we’re 10 and 12 and even 20. But at some point we’ll wake up and realize we are the product of ALL the decisions we have made.
Friend, part of being confident is taking responsibility for your life and the way it plays out. Today, stand tall, reach down deep and make decisions that you are proud of. Start by being respectful of yourself and others, and the rest will fall into place.
love and grace, catia
Who do you think you are? | Week 19 | Confidence Revolution
I can instantly recall the feeling of being bullied. My insides want to curl up like a rollie pollie. "Please, leave me alone."
I grew up in an upper middle class home in a lower middle class community and the fact that my mom dropped me off in a Ford Taurus station wagon and always had me dressed neatly was enough to send my school mates over the edge. On top of the FLASHY hatchback, I enjoyed school (God forbid) and enjoyed forming relationships with teachers and never felt like I fit in with my peers. Chicken or the egg? I'm not quite sure. My classmates were into video games and pogs and I was into getting an extra 5 points on my spelling test.
Girls would snicker and from time to time confront me face to face. "Who do you think you are?" "You think you're better than us?" "You think you're so good?" "You think you're going to make it?" "Why do you try so hard?" And then the dreaded "telling off" in Spanish. THE WORST. They talked so fast and cursed so well, I couldn't even keep up. Rollie pollie powers, ACTIVATE NOW.
That question of "who do you think you are?" has haunted me ever since. And people from my youth still rattle it off from time to time and most times I brush it off, but sometimes it gets under my skin.
Have you ever felt the need to defend who you are, your passions? Have you ever felt the need to explain why you are making certain choices or lobby folks to get them to support you? Me too. And I think it's about time we stop.
You have permission, FOREVER, (and in my opinion what is in the realm of kind and loving), to do what brings you joy.
BUT...
Sometimes it's not others we are trying to convince, sometimes, we are trying to convince ourselves. Our own negative chatter box floats to the top of our consciousness and we let it overrun our control center and all we hear is, "there are so many other people who already do it better, what's the point?" Or "You're 40! You have a career, why start something new?" Or "You're 25, no one is going to take you seriously. What do you have to say that others haven't already said?" "Why are you trying so hard anyway?"
When that is happening, and you feel your insides over heating, take a step back and check in with your soul. Ask it, "Is this what you WANT to do, will this bring you joy?" If the answer is, YES, then -- keep the bus moving. Ego will try to hold us back (strangely) because it's afraid of not being THE BEST, or, THE FIRST. But soul says, "I want to play too!"
When the question arises, "Who do you think you are?" No need to get overheated or curl in on yourself like a rollie pollie. Just say, "I am God's child and I'm trying something new. I really enjoy this and I'm seeing where it takes me.
love and grace, catia
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3 Tips To Boost Daily Confidence | Week 17 | Confidence Revolution
3 Tips To Boost Daily Confidence | Week 17 | Confidence Revolution
I heard Simon Cowell (one of the original American Idol judges and a legendary music producer) tell a story about how new talent would walk into his production office and they'd hand over a demo tape. The fact that they were with Simon Cowell meant they had already paid some dues. And Mr. Cowell would listen to the demo and if he liked it he'd say, "Sounds great. Keep working on it for ten or twenty years and come back to me." Knowing that 10 or 20 years of constant effort would make them masters at their craft.
Most times the talent would pick their jaw up off the floor and leave huffing and puffing. "10 or 20 years!"
But Mr. Cowell knew what a lot of us have either forgotten or have never been taught. Progress takes time, and mastery takes even more time. Over night wonders are few and far between and don't usually stand the test of time.
Typing, making a cup of coffee, brushing your teeth -- you've been practicing those things for A LONG TIME -- and so you don't have to think about them, but you're good at them.
If you're just starting to focus on being more loving, compassionate and maybe even more patient, realize it's going to take some time, effort and thought. But don't let that scare you! With every good decision you make for your life, you are lifting the lives of those around you. [share on Twitter] Honoring yourself is the gift that keeps on giving. [share on Twitter]
What Mr. Cowell left out was that the joy is in the growing, learning and stretching. Why rush through it? THROUGH IT is where the magic happens.
Here are three things that will help you walk THROUGH IT joyfully and over time, will make you a master at crafting a life you ENJOY.
Guys, in this video, I attempt to do the nae nae ( I had to Google how to spell that.)
joy and hope, catia
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AND...Stayed tuned for launch parties for, What Nobody Tells You About Love, (my first book!) coming to bookstores, audio book, Amazon and all those great places December 2016. Join the party invite list here!
Armor and Security Blankets | Week 16 | Confidence Revolution
Do you remember being young and toting around your favorite teddy bear, or Hot Wheels car, or blankie? Do you remember just how important it was to your existence. MUST HAVE LOVIE! For our daughter, it's her cup of awwwwaa, agua or water to the rest of us. When she's unsure of her situation, she clutches onto her awwwwaaa for dear life.
As we grow older, lovies and teddy bears fall by the wayside, but we learn to cling onto other things. As adults, when we feel unsure of ourselves we grab for - food, alcohol, fancier clothes, bigger diamonds, higher heels, bigger homes, more successful businesses. We all have some kind of armor that we suit up with before we go into an unsure situation. What will we wear? What will we say? How will we prove we are worth being there? And though most of our security blankets are imperceptible to the naked eye, they are there, whispering to us that we need them.
About a year ago I began to identify the armor I layer on before I head into unfamiliar situations. I realized that when I was with people I loved and who I knew loved me, I dressed one way and when I was meeting people for the first time, I dressed another way. It was plainly obvious . When I felt safe, I didn't need a security blanket, BUT when I felt unsafe, I LOADED UP on security blankets.
And with that awareness, God bless awareness, I began needing my forms of awwwwaaaaless and less.
I'm not advocating that you stop eating or drink or buying higher heels or working harder at your career, I'm only advocating that you don't NEED to in order to be safe. You're already safe.
You need NOT be adorned to be loved. You are loved JUST as you are. Let yourself be seen, you are PLENTY.
love and grace, catia
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Stuff is not your friend | Week 14 | Confidence Revolution
Stuff is not your friend | Week 14 | Confidence Revolution
Stuff is a twofold problem for me.
First off, when I feel uncomfortable, I like to make a list of things that I would like to have, but don't really need, and then I like to purchase them online. With a few clicks I gloss over my discomfort and a few days later, I have more stuff than I need.
That's the way clutter shows up in my life. STUFF. INEXPENSIVE-SO-I-DON'T-HAVE-TO-FEEL-TOO-BAD-STUFF. (Another post on other forms of clutter later :) )
Secondly, I then have more things than I need and I end up having to organize it, box it, move it and even pay to store it! LUNACY. So this week I decided to do something about my STUFF problem and I decided to give it away to folks who like it and will use it. NO MORE SEASONAL DECORATIONS I NEVER USE.
I also decided to analyze who I really am verses who I was or who other people want me to be - and I decided to get rid of things, memories and thought patterns that didn't resonate with my life anymore. And it has felt awesome.
Marketers want us to believe we need that new pair of jeans, or that new car, or that new cell phone to have better lives. But the truth is, the answer is always within. You don't have to spend a nickel to be a better person or to have a better life. All you need to do to have a better life is live in your fullness.
In this video I talk about, The Minimalists. After I started listening to them, I cut up my credit card, paid off my $3,000 in debt, never reopened a card and it's been wonderful!
Get rid of what doesn't serve your higher purpose and stop accumulating THINGS you don't really love.
Everything in our space should bring us joy and add value to our lives.
Confidence Is... | Week 12 | Confidence Revolution
"Am I wearing the right outfit?" "I wonder what he thinks of me." "Does my coworker think I'm cool?" "Is this picture going to look good?" "What are people going to think of me when I post this photo? I hope they think I look good."
I have missed entire evenings, vacations even -- because I was so worried about LOOKING a certain way, worried about what people were thinking of me. In hind sight I think, what a shame. What a shame that I was so self absorbed that I forsook amazing experiences. But I needed to go through that to get where I am today. Growing pains, I suppose.
As I age what's really important in life becomes more clear and I move away from superficial things like appearance -- and move more toward looking at the person sitting across from me. And not only looking at them, but appreciating them for their beauty. There is so much to take in, to learn and to hear from others. God lives me and God lives in everyone else too.
Life is so much more satisfying when we look outward, connect and invite people to be their authentic selves.
Take a butterfly - adorded by many. Beautiful and graceful. But butterflies BECAME. We must be willing to crack open and change the way we exist to experience this life in all it's richness.
love and grace, catia
Funny blooper about minute 4! The show must go on. :)
Hey guys - if you're looking to feel better, feel happy and feel confident - I have something for you.
I 100% wrote this in service of you. I want you to find joy in everyday life!
Love!
How to Accomplish Goals | Week 8 | Confidence Revolution
A few years ago I ran a marathon with my brother, Carlos -- a full one! 26.2, guys. It was crazy.
The thing is, I am the least athletic person YOU will EVER meet. I have trouble catching a highlighter yellow softball. So when I signed up for the marathon I knew I had my work cut out for me.
Instead of getting overwhelmed with the thought of running TWENTY SIX POINT TWO miles in a row, I broke it down into tiny increments. Tiny. For example, I would tell myself, "You only have to run to the next mail box," or "You only have to make it to the next stop sign." And somehow I always managed --because if my goals were running 100 or 200 yards at a time, it was no problem. But if my goal was running for 4.5 hours straight - I would just cry.
And since then, that's how I have approached life. Teeny tiny increments. And at every point, I congratulate myself and set the next goal. This strategy has helped me eat better, nurse my baby for a year, run a marathon, write a book, and even re-organize the kitchen!
Set a goal, break it down and let your goals craft your decision making. Sometimes we can take two steps forward and one step back, and that's okay. But sometimes we have it in us to take 2 steps forward and then 1 more step forward and then 1 more step forward.
Don't be afraid to give up the good, to go for the great. -Steve Prefontaine
Take some deep breaths and make this week count. :)
Guys - if you want to feel better, feel happy and feel confident - this gift is for you.
I made this 100% to be of service to you.
Love!
Airport encounter | Week 2| Confidence Revolution
Why you will succeed.
We're on the road to increased self-esteem! I'm thrilled to be trekking together. Guys, increased confidence relieves so much.
This week's video has to do with originality and success and real life.
Let me know how you're feeling and about any progress you've made. And as always I'm available for specific questions.
