Powerful + Gentle | Week 44 | Confidence Revolution
In the ancient Hebrew tradition they carried two slips of paper, one in each pocket. On one piece of paper they wrote, “For my sake the world was created.” And on the other piece of paper they wrote, “I am but dust and ashes.” And each person was encouraged to carry these slips of paper in their pockets and remind themselves daily, they exist as big and small simultaneously.
For us to operate at our best we’ve got to strike the right balance between powerful and gentle, and for most of us, that’s really tough.
Here’s how I’ve learned to find the balance between powerful and gentle.
1) I have realized I am good enough to be here.
In an article a few months back I read that Charlie Strong, coach of the UT Longhorns, told his team, “If you weren’t good enough to be here, you wouldn’t be.” And I extend that sentiment to you. You ARE good enough to be here. You HAVE survived your worst ten days. You did land that job. You did graduate. You did provide for you family. You did get through that break up. You’re good enough to be here, because YOU ARE HERE.
Hello, World!
2) I have realized I wear a crown on my head.
A few times a week I read, The Crown on Your Head, to Alexandra. The book’s message is about how each of us is a child of God, and how we each have invisible, magical crowns on our heads. My favorite line is the book is, “No one’s is brighter, no one’s is duller, it’s only a crown of a different color.”
And guys, after the 1,000th time of reading that line, I started to really believe it.
For my sake the world was created. AND, for your sake, the world was created.
3.) I am part of something greater.
The other day Guapo and I were driving to pick up pizza and U2’s song, Mysterious Ways, came through the speakers. “To touch is to heal, to hurt is to steal. If you want to kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel. On your knees, boy!” And for the first time I really HEARD the lyrics.
If you want to touch the sky, you’d better learn how to kneel. Ooohhhhhh!!!!! If I want to reach great heights, I’ve got to realize I am part of something bigger, greater and maybe even unknowable. I’ve got to show humility. I’ve got to be gentle in my ways. I have got to realize, I am but dust and ashes.
As you go through your day today, remember that no one like you has ever been or ever will be. The world needs you to grow into your power and then we need you to help others do the same.
love and grace, catia
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Speak + Light the Way | Week 42 | Confidence Revolution
Zainab Salbi is an author, women's rights activist, humanitarian, social entrepreneur, and in 2002 became the founder of Women for Women International (a non-profit organization that provides support to women survivors of war.) And in 2015 she took her platform an expanded it by launching Nida’a Show, a talk show dedicated to inspire women in the Arab world. Sounds awesome, right?
Well, her story wasn’t always as bright and shiny.
In 1969 Salbi was born to Saudi Arabian to parents and when she was 11 years old her dad, Tariq, was chosen to be Saddam Hussein’s pilot. This relationship, as you can imagine, put her family in an emotionally abusive situation. But one doesn’t just leave Saddam Hussein.
After her teenage years and as Zainab became a young women, her mother began to fear for her daughter’s life (Saddam took what and who he wanted) and so her mother shipped her off to the US as part of an arranged marriage. And after three months of suffering physical and emotional abuse from her husband, with only $400 to her name, she left to start a life of her own.
But when she arrived in the US (1988) – Zainab was ashamed to tell anyone who she was. Albeit negative, she had a direct link to Saddam Hussein. For perspective, in 1988 Saddam Hussein had just begun the genocide of their countrymen who were Kurdish. He was imprisoning, torturing and murdering people – and Zainab’s dad was his pilot - which engulfed her in shame.
At some point she realized, for her own sanity, she had to tell her story and heal, and the results surprised her.
She noted how when she did, she was met with love, empathy and compassion. And that undoubtedly, each woman she told had a shame story of their own. Something that was hindering them from moving forward.
Salbi also noticed that once she and each of these women had the courage to break their silence and step out of their own shame -- that each person became like a candle – lighting the way for others – a hope giving of sorts.
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Guys, I have been writing and speaking my truth for 6 years - I have shared some doozies with you and have shared even more with those closest to me. And in 6 years of honoring my truth – I have NEVER been met with, “That’s so weird, I’ve never heard of that!” I’ve ALWAYS been met with, “Oh, really? I didn’t know you were going through that – I ALSO went through something similar,” or “My friend went through that too,” and sometimes it’s just a plain and simple, “me too.”
And after I break my silence, I feel lighter, more connected and stronger for walking through it.
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Maybe you have credit card debt and can’t afford the purse you carry, maybe you owe the bank money, maybe you are an alcoholic, maybe you experienced abuse growing up, maybe you lead a life you’re not proud of and you’re afraid that when people find out who YOU REALLY ARE – that they won’t love you.
I’m here to tell you, that if they’re worth having around, they will.
I’m here to tell you that breaking your silence and sharing your story creates connection and gives hope to those who share in your pain. (Not to mention giving you hope!)
What you do with your story is a choice – and what a wonderful choice to OWN IT – to create your own ending.
love and grace, catia
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Facebook Stalking | Week 24 | Confidence Revoltuion
This week's CR video is about why we Facebook stalk people and what we can do (tell ourselves) when we find ourselves down the FB rabbit hole at midnight while eating Oreos. And also how I hope FB never creates an algorithm to prove FB stalking - because then a lot of us are going straight to the clink. :)
love and grace, catia
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How my journey with insecurity led to the Confidence Revolution
Thank you to RGV Moms Blog for having me as a featured speaker! It was more exciting and fulfilling that I could have ever thought. It was a group of women (and some men :) ) gathered together and we let each other know, womanhood is can be tough and it's okay. We are all stumbling along, but we get to do it together.
I spoke with this fine group about insecurity and jealousy and gifts and confidence. It was awesome. Enjoy!
Armor and Security Blankets | Week 16 | Confidence Revolution
Do you remember being young and toting around your favorite teddy bear, or Hot Wheels car, or blankie? Do you remember just how important it was to your existence. MUST HAVE LOVIE! For our daughter, it's her cup of awwwwaa, agua or water to the rest of us. When she's unsure of her situation, she clutches onto her awwwwaaa for dear life.
As we grow older, lovies and teddy bears fall by the wayside, but we learn to cling onto other things. As adults, when we feel unsure of ourselves we grab for - food, alcohol, fancier clothes, bigger diamonds, higher heels, bigger homes, more successful businesses. We all have some kind of armor that we suit up with before we go into an unsure situation. What will we wear? What will we say? How will we prove we are worth being there? And though most of our security blankets are imperceptible to the naked eye, they are there, whispering to us that we need them.
About a year ago I began to identify the armor I layer on before I head into unfamiliar situations. I realized that when I was with people I loved and who I knew loved me, I dressed one way and when I was meeting people for the first time, I dressed another way. It was plainly obvious . When I felt safe, I didn't need a security blanket, BUT when I felt unsafe, I LOADED UP on security blankets.
And with that awareness, God bless awareness, I began needing my forms of awwwwaaaaless and less.
I'm not advocating that you stop eating or drink or buying higher heels or working harder at your career, I'm only advocating that you don't NEED to in order to be safe. You're already safe.
You need NOT be adorned to be loved. You are loved JUST as you are. Let yourself be seen, you are PLENTY.
love and grace, catia
If someone sweetly sent you this email and you'd like to become your most confident self, be more joyful, have better relationships and live a life you enjoy - JOIN the
#confidencerevolution here: Join Now.
Controlling your Negative Inner Chatterbox | Week 15 | Confidence Revolution
I was with my Austin Mom's Blog sister/writers last night. We were taking head shots with the amazing Laura Morsman and we were all wound up. "Do I look good?" "How about this angle?" "That's not my good side." The pressure was mounting! We were putting so much importance on the way the photos turned out. Like we were going to be judged ONLY on how we looked, like ALL the other things we do in life -- love, care, work, mother, volunteer -- didn't matter. We HAD to look spectacular or else everything was for not.
But then after the pictures were over, we enjoyed food and champagne and everyone let their guard down. And that's when things got really good. When we relaxed! Why couldn't we be relaxed the entire time?
The other day I read a post and it said that Gloria Steinem gave Melissa McCarthy a bracelet that said, "Linked, not ranked." And I thought, "that is the answer!!" Someone needs to get all women together and teach them in Woman 101 that there are not gold medals given out for being the prettiest, or smartest, or most sacrificing, or most frugal, OR... the least imposing or least disruptive or least opinionated.
We are unable to be ranked. Linked, not ranked.
Today's video is about how my negative chatter box felt outranked - on LIVE TV! And I detail how you can address your negative chatter box.
We are human, we have souls AND egos. Our soul is our higher self, an inner knowing, our essence. And our ego is part of the psyche that experiences the outside world and reacts to it. It thinks, feels, and it wants to distinguish itself from others. Part of the ego's job is to want more. That's it's job! So it's not about eliminating the ego, but about balancing it's power our lives.
With all my heart, you are worthy.
Culture tells you that you need more, different, bigger. Culture is lying, culture has ulterior motives.
You are beautiful and gifted.
No one is you, and that is your power.
