The Courage to Become | Charlotte Kikel
I was only 26 years old, and life as I knew it was over. In the late spring of 2002, I could barely walk up a flight of stairs. I couldn’t believe it because I was an athlete. I had been a competitive swimmer through college and a recreational triathlete, so for my legs not to have the energy to get me up the stairs was alarming, to say the least.
I felt like I was wearing twenty-pound weights on each limb and all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch movies. A few days prior to this I thought I had just come down with a cold, but now I knew something else was going on.
So I did what most people do and went to my doctor who put me on a round of antibiotics.
They didn’t work.
So I went back to my doctor who put me on another round of antibiotics.
They didn’t work.
Third times a charm, right?
I returned to my doctor for yet another round of antibiotics.
They didn’t work.
Do you know the frustration of taking a drug and it not working, and possibly making things worse? Most of us do.
The fourth time I showed up to my doctor’s office, not only was I even sicker, but I was exasperated. The experts who were supposed to be helping me weren’t helping me! Somehow, I had a spark of fire still left in me, and I demanded blood work. At 11:30PM, I got a phone call from my doctor telling me to go to the emergency room. My white blood cell count and liver enzymes were off the charts.
When I got to the ER, they took one look at me and then my file and said, “Hmmm. Looks like your gall bladder’s in trouble.”
This made zero sense to me. The gall bladder helps digest fat. I had never had a problem digesting fat. $5000 dollars worth of tests and 8 hours of a sleepless night later, I heard a doctor talking outside my door, “Has anyone tested her for mono? She’s a textbook case.”
They ran that test. It was $15. It came back positive, and they sent me home with the wisdom of a grandmother: sleep and drink lots of water. I had a viral infection called mononucleosis, and the medical system has no tools for this.
I went into a deep, dark depression from the inflammatory cascade occurring in my body. I had excruciating headaches and panic attacks. I passed out five times in restaurants due to low blood sugar. I slept 12 hours a night, took 3 hour naps, and still didn’t have any energy.
This illness also destroyed my relationships because here’s the deal: I looked healthy. So if you look healthy and the doctors can’t find anything wrong with you, then you clearly have a mental problem, right?
Wrong.
After a few years of living in this hell hole, I contemplated suicide on my bathroom floor. I know I’m not alone: 10 million Americans contemplated suicide last year and those are just the people who are willing to admit it. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/10-million-us-adults-seriously-considered-suicide-last-year/
Brushing my teeth seemed like an extraordinary task. I had this strange red rash around my hairline, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. My joyful spirit that wanted to engage with the world around me was trapped in a body that didn’t want to be here. I couldn’t reconcile this and wondered how much longer I could go on.
It sounds corny, but something deep inside of me told me not to give up. Curiosity, anger, and God kept me going. How did this happen? How did I go from swimming 3 hours a day to having a difficult time walking up a flight of stairs? What in the actual fuck is going on here?
After a conversation with a nutritionist and a friend of a friend who had a similar experience, I had a sneaking suspicion that the fact that my dad was vice president of Imperial Sugar in Sugar Land, Texas had something to do with my illness. Turns out I was right. With what energy I had, I started reading books about nutrition and holistic healing. Fifteen years later, I now have a library of over 300 health-related books.
Sugar, along with excessive exercise, too little sleep, and a stressful job, were the perfect storm for the collapse of my vitality.
The good news is that with a tincture of time, herbal medicine, and significant dietary and lifestyle changes, I got better. Much, much better. I got my life back, and this time it’s better than it was.
I have plenty of energy to move through my day. I can think clearly. I love my work and my husband. Life feels like worth living again.
I ended up pursuing a 2-year certificate in nutrition from Bauman College and obtaining a Master’s of Science Degree in Western Herbal Medicine from the Maryland University of Integrative Health in an effort to understand what had happened to me and how others could prevent it from happening to them.
I now know that same wisdom flowing through my body that resulted in chronic illness is the same wisdom that healed me. I got sick because I asked my body to adapt to the impossible. I controlled it every step of the way, until it made me surrender. Now, I have no choice but to listen to my body every single day or I suffer.
It takes courage to heal. I had to give up everything I loved to reclaim my vitality.
I am no longer a competitive athlete. I participate in gentle restorative activities.
I no longer eat sugar and have dreams of owing a bakery. I had to create a new career – one that would respect my health AND enhance the health of others.
We can’t have pets in our home. I had to find a new home for my dog.
And when I gave birth to our son at home at the foot our bed, and then slipped back into another deep, dark inflammatory depression, I saw it this time. I saw the opportunity for another layer of healing. I saw the need to hibernate with my baby. Under very different circumstances, I had to give up who I knew myself to be all over again.
As a direct result of that transformation, I wrote a book titled Eat in Peace to Live in Peace: Your Handbook for Vitality. I just couldn’t keep all that I have learned to myself, so I wrote it down for you…in the name of hope and for the courage to become.
Charlotte Kikel, MS, NC, ACN, MCPP
Board Certified Holistic Nutritionist & Registered Herbalist (AHG), Eat in Peace Wellness Consulting
512-587-0338 //http://www.charlottekikel.com
Schedule appointment herehttp://eatinpeacewellnessconsulting.fullslate.com/
Find Charlotte’s book, Eat in Peace to Live in Peace, here!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Naya Weber
My family and I have been living in the Austin area for about three years, after moving from our home of eight years just outside of Fort Worth. My husband found his dream job, which required us to leave our friends and move down I-35. The timing of the move couldn’t have come at a worse time: I was only 3 months postpartum after having our second son. At a time when I needed my village the most, I ended up a few hundred miles away.
While I did know people in Austin (a grand total of 4 people in the whole area), navigating a new city with a toddler and an infant was daunting. Because I had no idea where anything was and traffic scared the living daylights out of me, and we ended up staying home a lot. I kept the kids entertained with crafts, books, and watching more TV than I care to mention. However, I felt like a prisoner inside our apartment. What I didn’t realize was that I was developing a case of postpartum anxiety and depression.
We moved to a rental home in south Austin a few months later. I was grateful to have my own space for a while, a backyard to play in, and parks nearby. Despite the relief, my temper was out of control. My husband has always been a good gauge for my behavior and he gently let me know that I needed some help. He felt like he was walking on eggshells around me. I finally sought out a therapist and started meeting her weekly to get through this. After the first visit, I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me and I wished I had found her ages ago.
Part of her care plan for me was to get out of the house and meet people, specifically other moms. She also helped me frame the recent life changes in a different way – I was getting a fresh start in a new city.
I took the opportunity to pursue something I was passionate about while living in Fort Worth: I went back to school to finish education in order to become a lactation consultant. Supporting breastfeeding families was something I was very passionate about and did on the side prior to our move. Getting back to that part of me helped me so much.
I also met a number of wonderful women through a stroller-based fitness program. Being around other mothers felt great. They couldn’t have been kinder or more welcoming. Before long, I was one of the gang and had a good group of friends I saw several times a week. We’ve attended each other’s kids’ birthday parties and dropped off food after a new baby or illness, and more.
Fast forward to present day: I’ve completed all of the prerequisites to sit for the International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) exam, and rocked the test this past October!!!
The moms I met are still very much a part of my life, and we see each other at least once a month to catch up. I did run into several obstacles while going back to school, namely childcare. Not having old friends or family around made it challenging, but my mama village came through in the form of meals, childcare, and sharing their babysitters. Any mother will tell you that a good and reliable babysitter is worth her weight in gold!
More than anything, I’m grateful to feel more like myself than I have in years. I feel settled and like I have a purpose. I’m not who I was prior to the move, I’m a new and improved version of myself that is somehow still the same person I have always been.
Another layer has been added on to a solid foundation. Something that helped me through the difficult time was that it was okay to let my guard down and ask for help. Whether it was for my mental health or someone to watch my kids for an hour so I can get groceries, it is okay to reach out to others for assistance. It is okay to be vulnerable.
I love Naya's ability to keep it real. The more we surround ourselves with authentic women - the easier it us for us to be our true selves! Keep up with Naya here!
Naya Weber, CLEC
@ohheynaya (Instagram)
@ohheynaya (Twitter)
Sincerely Sarah Photography
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Jena Cuellar Harris
Insecurity about my body is something I've never felt comfortable admitting.
Am I too short? Too muscular? Not curvy enough?
Ever since I could remember friends and family have always made comments about my body type. “Woah, look at those traps,” with a light squeeze on my shoulders. Or, “Those legs! They’re bigger than mine,” from a guy. And perhaps jokingly, lovingly, or admiringly but I don’t think anyone ever truly realizes how some of those comments can affect the way we feel about ourselves; How we harbor those comments deep down all the way into adulthood.
We can even let some of those words affect petty decisions like our style of clothing to serious decisions like business opportunities and career choices.
Being a young, athletic, female, can be extremely difficult when you are growing up.
When the majority of girls your age have softer lines and a more feminine build, you wonder, “Is it wrong to look the way I do?” Yet, at the same time, you love it! It can be quite conflicting in adolescence.
I've never been one to let adversity stand in the way of my goals.
When I decided I wanted to go to the University of Texas at Austin to run track, I hunted down the coach during freshman orientation and told him I wanted to run for him. I'd been offered scholarships to other schools but I didn't want those other schools. I wanted to be a Longhorn. So my persistence allowed me the opportunity to walk on. I made the team, proved myself, and ran cross-country and track all four years of my collegiate career.
When my husband and I decided we wanted to open our second business, a juice bar in South Texas, we were faced with wary friends and family members questioning whether or not it was a good business decision.
Of course, their worry was out of love, more than anything, but if that qualm didn't send us running in the opposite direction, surely the hesitance of others in the industry to give us advice would deter us, right? Nope!
It was quite the opposite. We traveled to juice bars around the country to learn from others, we spent tireless hours in our kitchen creating our own menu, and spent money we weren't sure was going to be recouped on blenders, juicers, and ingredients. This past April, our store, Shake Express, successfully surpassed the first year "make it or break it" phase and we are entering the second year with much acceptance and excitement from our community.
I'll never forget, a year ago, a client of mine was sharing an experience he checked off his bucket list. He proceeded to ask me, "What's on your bucket list?" I told him, "I've always wanted to start a blog. I've wanted to for years." His reply was, "Well what are you waiting for?!"
In truth, I was waiting to be leaner? Curvier? Smaller or less muscular? Putting myself out there in front of the world to see was a scary thought for me. Will they judge me or nitpick at what I am or am not? Compare me to other fitness bloggers?
So many insecurities and silly, unimportant, EXCUSES that hindered me from putting that "check" on my bucket list item. In the depths of my mind I could hear the voices of my adolescence seeping into my grown woman mind.
It wasn't until a year later that the topic of me starting a blog resurfaced. As business owners, some seasons can be tough. The fluctuation in revenue can be a bit unnerving. A few corporate career opportunities arose and they sounded safe. No worrying about what profits were going to look like for any given month or whether or not we'd be able to enjoy some of our lifestyle favorites during low season. For whatever reason, though, every time one of those opportunities felt like it was within grasp, it slipped away. Strangely, however, I was never upset or saddened about not getting the job. Perhaps, deep down in my heart, I knew that it's not what I wanted to do. God was steering me in another direction. But where?
I finally told my husband one Saturday afternoon as we floated around the pool, "I think I'm done trying to get a job. I have a job and I love it! I love my clients and I love what I do. But I want more!"
"More" in the sense that I wanted to reach more people. My client list was/is at full capacity. I can only help so many people, one-on-one, in a day. "How do I maximize that," I asked him.
My husband’s reply to me was, "Why don't you start a blog?" At that moment I stopped and thought to myself, "Have I ever shared with him my desire to start a blog?" I knew for a fact I hadn't. Maybe this was a reassurance that it was time.
My husband laid out a game plan and told me that he would help me to take photos and record videos. His newfound savvy behind the camera married with my journalistic background could definitely be the recipe for a successful and informative blog. A blog to help a myriad of people, not just locally, but globally, with fitness and nutrition advice! This was my goal, was it not?
I took the night to ponder and pray on it. The ease in the way the opportunity presented itself seemed almost super-natural to me. A sign from God. How do you say no to that?
The answer is- you don’t.
I felt compelled to do what God was calling me to do and He would help me to overcome the insecurities I have battled since childhood.
And he has.
Along with my loving husband who thinks I am the most beautiful woman, with the most amazing body. When I hesitate to post a photo or a video because I look to “squishy,” or short, or muscular, he is my biggest admirer reassuring me of how great I look.
I can confidently say, today, that I feel surer of myself than ever.
Do I have days where I’m being extra judgey of myself or let those comments I was once sensitive about resurface from where I have learned to bury them... absolutely. But it’s a work in progress. Everyday is.
At the end of the day, I’m glad I was able to overcome it and have the courage to start my blog because through it, I have already received messages and comments from followers thanking me for my nutrition and fitness advice. They have thanked me for motivating and encouraging them. That was my goal all along.
This was my courage to become a blogger.
You can feel Jena's fear and feel her walking through it, right? I think that's the most special part of this piece. She really let us see behind the curtain - and not everyone is brave enough or ready to do that. So -- thank you, Jena!!!
To keep up with Jena - make sure to follow her on her blog page - Jena's Gym and Juice.
And if you're in the RGV -stop by Shake Express or her gym, Strong Point!
Reader's reviews of The Courage to Become
"Thank you for not always trying to be perfect. Being genuine is way cooler!"
"Add this to your cart now!"
"Such a testament of hope and womanhood!"
"If you are a mom or a woman, you need this book."
Join the sisterhood!!! Grab your copy now!!
The Courage to Become | Ginger King Birnbaum
This is going to sound ridiculously oversimplified, but I just want to make things better. There is a childlike wonder in that-it comes off in an idyllic sense. But there really is no other way to put it. I have, and have always had, an inner drive to make things better.
I have always been drawn to the greater good. In fact, the thing that scares me the most is that I would leave this Earth without making a difference. Some people have a bucket list full of grand adventures, but mine is mostly full of making a difference and leading others to do the same.
When my second child, King, was born we found out that he would be living with cystic fibrosis, a chronic progressive disease that can lead to respiratory failure. You can only imagine that for a person who just wants to make things better it was deeply devastating, at first.
Even with my first child, Emma Virginia, who was born perfectly healthy, I had fallen into a deep postpartum depression. Just in case you need a visual: me, a glider, a large box of graham crackers, and one very nervous husband + a (beautiful, precious, amazing;) crying baby. My husband attempted to remove the box of graham crackers (perhaps to motivate me to leave the room!) and I cried, “please don’t take them-they’re all that I have.” We laugh about it now, but it was clear that I needed some real help to overcome my depression!
Fast forward 3 years, and I was very worried that I would wind up in the same place. It was like I had to stare myself down to move past the sadness of my child’s diagnosis.
I remember clearly finding a shift in my lens that clarified it all, and I do mean all. None of us knows what the next minute or day or year holds. My biggest fear was that I was going to lose my child, and I just couldn’t see past that. I came to realize that death is inevitable, after all. None of us will escape it, none of us will capture it, and we certainly won’t be invited to design it. If we live in an absolute, obsessive cycle of trying to control everything then we won’t be present for all the parts that constitute a life.
I will always be grateful that I was presented with the opportunity to understand that so early in life. The lesson came with plenty of heartbreak, but it also forced me to live my life in color. I also think, I hope, that it made me a better mother to both of my children.
Now, I already told you that I thrive on making things better.
Cystic Fibrosis is a disease that lives and breathes and changes at the knee of modern medicine. Drugs have been made available that change the disease at the cellular level! Over 50% of people living with CF are over the age of 18. That’s like out.of.this.world amazing! As I learned more about the advances in research the gloves came off, and I went to work. While I was fearful for my child, I also felt incredibly lucky that our family was being given this tremendous opportunity to plug into the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation community and make a difference.
Fundraising, advocating, event planning, hiking, walking, leading, sharing, crying, laughing, meeting, connecting…if you are picturing a roller coaster then you’ve read correctly! That’s what our family does to make a long-term difference…for all people living with CF.
Pills, feeding tubes, medications, machines, calories, crying, laughing, planning, hospitalizations, surgeries, doctor visits, researching…our own personal roller coaster. That’s what our family does to sustain King’s health.
For the longest time sustaining King’s health was the cycle that moved me day in and day out. It became my reality. I knew that if I kept him well, and worked furiously toward a cure at the same time, a positive parallel might well emerge. The fear and sadness that I experienced upon his diagnosis was becoming more of a distant memory.
What I was not prepared for was the threat of our access to affordable and adequate health care being terminated. Our family benefits from the Affordable Care Act since we purchase our insurance on the exchange. Through the ACA we pay a whopping $40,000 a year, unsubsidized. A deal it is not, but to go without insurance as a whole would be financially devastating and would be a roadblock to sustaining King’s health.
The more that I learned about the ACA and the health care industry in general, the more I committed myself to ensuring that all Americans have access to affordable and adequate health care. It is unconscionable to me that anyone would consider pulling at the very fabric of someone else’s life.
There is no federal budget important enough to send families into bankruptcy for purchasing life-saving medications. There is no federal budget important enough to cause a child to go without their parent because their family couldn’t afford chemotherapy. There is no federal budget important enough to cause those with a disability to go without benefits.
And so I set out to tell anyone and everyone that would listen about the importance of health care. Some lawmakers did not want to listen to me. Some friends misunderstood me.
Here’s the good news: Many friends understood me. Many others spoke out. Many lawmakers do listen.
Humanity is too important, too precious to ignore. As the mother of a child with a chronic illness it is my duty to shine a light on this issue. I won’t be enough though, and I know that.
Once again, faced with the potential darkness at the end of the road, I’ve learned a really important lesson. The more I try to shine my light, the more I come to love and appreciate those around me.
I take comfort in knowing that I have traversed some scary valleys before and come out on the other side to a life lived in full color. A smart woman taught me that lesson once.
--
Guys, I know you want to know more...because I did!! So I asked Ginger a few extra questions. Here's what she had to say.
What job did you have before advocacy?
So you know this isn't really a job for me, right? Nothing I do gets me paid. I'm 100% volunteer advocate, event planner, and fundraiser. You could say that I am a professional volunteer:) I think I will go back to work eventually, but the conundrum of child care + work has not made sense yet.
The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is not the only group I volunteer with. After Emma Virginia was born, I knew that I wanted to spend my time giving back to my community and connecting with my community. I had to give some of that "work" up once King was diagnosed and I knew I needed to focus mostly on CF.
Currently, I have leadership roles and do volunteer work with the Center for Mindful Living, Junior League of Chattanooga, Lookout Mountain School (PTA President this year because girrrrrl clearly I don't have enough going on:), and local and national roles with the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.
CFF roles-Other than Advocacy, I am the local Board President, Chair of Three Blind Wines (local fundraiser), Founder of Kenneth King's Believers National Family Team, National Family Team Program Co-Chair, Great Strides Leadership Council Chair, and I just Co-Chaired the National Volunteer Leadership Conference (which was AWEsome!).
I really started focusing a lot on Advocacy because I had no choice + I enjoy it. For several years, I have joined a large group of CF Advocates for the CFF sponsored March on the Hill where we share our stories with Congress and Senate. With the repeal of the ACA I knew that I needed to be more involved year-round. Literally, if these bills go through I don't know what we will do for King.
What does a normal day look like?
A normal day in our house is anything but! King requires hours of respiratory therapy which include 3 inhaled medications and a vest that shakes him to get the mucus to loosen in his lungs. He also has to be hooked up to a feeding tube every night. It has become our normal, but it certainly colors the way that we go about our day. This year he and Emma Virginia are both at Lookout Mountain School in Kindergarten and third grade. It has definitely changed the flow of schedule with them being out of the house for so many hours. I have been spending a lot of time at the school since I am PTA President this year-it's been tons of fun! Some people say that they will never do things like that, but I always knew that I would want to give of my time in that capacity. It's so special to be a part of the school community.
And how did you get through PPD?
By the grace of God, a supportive family, the right medication, meditation and yoga, and sometimes I'm not sure that it really is over. I literally had to learn to breathe again after King was diagnosed. That sounds crazy, but it is 100% true. That is one of the main reasons that I agreed to join the Board at the Center for Mindful Living. It saved me in a lot of ways. Pausing sounds like it is such a simple thing to do, but it is not. I think the whole world could benefit from pausing and breathing and just slowing down in general. I go 90 miles a minute, but I also try hard to listen to my body and mind.
Oh my gosh. Isn't Ginger a force?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can contribute to Cystic Fibrosis or learn more here and you can jump on the support train for Kenneth, Ginger's son here on Facebook.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Rachel Lily Campbell
There are so many “things” I have accomplished in my short 33 years of existence. I have had a lot of life experiences that have been teaching, growth producing, fun, hard and joyful. You could say I’ve had a pretty full life up until now. So, as I was reflecting on what I truly feel the most proud of, it’s the absolute certainty of who I am as a woman, that only comes from the experiences life brings.
Being a girl is tough. From birth we are held to a lot of expectations that only get more and more intricate as we get older. Motherhood is no different. Combine the pressure and the expectations of womanhood and motherhood, and the lack of genuine support I believe all woman need, it’s TOUGH.
So, we learn to cope right? We settle because that’s what we think we are supposed to do. We stay in careers that don't challenge us, under bosses that don’t value us. Or, we stay in relationships that don’t serve us; we don't set clear boundaries of how we expect to be treated, and we feel guilty when we do finally speak up. We give in to the pressures of the media, and dishonor our bodies with erratic eating habits. We workout as punishment for our bodies betraying us, instead of celebration for what it has done for us. I have been ALL of these places. I have been all of these versions. Until, I was forced, to become who I was meant to be.
I want to tell you that I had this super epic “a-ha” moment and I was brave and blasted through low self esteem and came out victorious and now I’m about to share with you the secret “I LOVE LIFE” potion. But, that’s not my story. I was FORCED to be brave, and in that journey of becoming, is where I found the courage to finally, and unapologetically be me.
Tell us a little bit about yourself:
I was born and raised in LA and NYC to 2 very nontraditional artsy parents. I was painstakingly insecure - but very outgoing, which was a confusing mixture for me growing up. I struggled for years with debilitating eating disorders, that almost killed me. I found recovery a few times but nothing permanent until I gave birth to my son 3 years ago.
Pre-motherhood I worked for 10 years in the beauty industry before I got married to a conservative football loving, country boy, and desperately tried to fit the mold of the small town housewife. Fast forward a year or so later, I was suffocated and had completely lost my sense of self, but I was pregnant with my baby boy, the baby boy who would soon turn me into a mommy, which was the most soul shattering, earth crushing rebirth of my own self.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
This question is tough. I still dream of doing big things. Helping others in HUGE ways, and really changing the world.
But on a smaller scale, when I was married, I just knew the marriage I was in wasn’t for me. This baby boy inside of me deserved a mommy who was sure of who she was. Living in her authentic self. I was such a shell of who I knew I was made to be. I knew I needed to rebuild, and I couldn’t do it there. My son's father and I decided to divorce when he was just 4 months old. I moved to Austin and started a business, all while still in the throws of new motherhood, cluster feedings, sleepless nights, and my divorce.
How did it feel getting started?
I wasn’t scared. Maybe it was the adrenaline, I think I was in survival mode. Failure wasn’t an option. I believed in what I was doing. I knew it would help me, I knew it would help others, and I knew I could do it.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started?
Every new business venture has obstacles. I knew there would be financial hardship in the beginning, but I failed to realize that this was MY business, this was something I was SO passionate about. Not everyone would share this sentiment initially, so I was really disappointed when the first few months I was in business, I literally had not one client. I couldn’t figure out why every single other mom wasn’t on my level of excitement here. Throw in a few weeks of EPIC storms and flooding, it made for a miserable first quarter in business.
What motivates you?
My son. Hands down, he is my hero. Becoming a mother transformed me. It brought about a version of me that is stronger and braver than I ever knew. He is the reason for so many decisions in my personal and professional life, and being accountable for raising a human from the ground up is not only humbling but it has been the absolute joy of my lifetime.
Which living person do you most admire?
Oh I feel like I have so many answers to this! I admire so many different people, for so many different reasons. I would have to say all of the moms I know. We truly are a different breed of superhero. The selflessness that goes into motherhood, is HEROIC. Every single mother I have the opportunity to know, inspire me.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I could dance. Like really dance. Think Janet Jackson. Yes, that would be amazing!
What is your most marked characteristic?
I would say my energy and my enthusiasm for life is what I get complimented the most on. I am just as PUMPED about a new flavor of coffee creamer as I am when my son learns a new skill!
What is your motto?
I cannot take credit for this, as it’s by one of my favorite authors, Marianne Williamson but I have lived by this for so many years, “We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Starting and growing my business and raising my son. I’m sure there is more, but right now, in this season of life, these are at the forefront of my accomplishments
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
God, wine, girlfriends. IN THAT ORDER.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
You are capable of amazing things. We, as women, were built for so much more that we think. Just keep swimming.
Rachel is real and she is joy and she is a gift!!!! If you're in the Austin area - check out class opportunities here on the web site and for some daily feel good and motivation - follow Stroller Strides on Instagram and Facebook.
You will be so grateful to be part such a wonderful community of mamas lead by such an amazing spirit!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Alex Zeplain
I am a woman who really wants it all. I want a career, I want a personal life, I want my health, I want to be a present mom, and I want happiness. I have come to learn that I can have it all, but it won't all be at the same time. AND, that I am in control of defining what having it all means to me.
This way of living is a constant work in progress for me. Currently, I am the mother of a soon to be 3 year old boy; a wife to a hard working, entrepreneurial man; a caregiver to my mother; and founder of Hello My Tribe (to name a few of my roles).
With clients at Tribe
In a past life, I was a “professional” volunteer and founder of a nonprofit that promoted philanthropy and had great success. For years, this work was my identity, and when I stepped away from this career, I went through a huge life transformation becoming a wife and stay at home mom. Identity crisis…ding, ding, ding!
Due to my roles in the community and my career choices, most people are surprised to find out that I have social anxiety and am much of an introvert. I am learning to say “no” more and to choose activities that fill my cup, rather than empty it. And I am constantly striving to live a more balanced and honest life after experiencing Postpartum Depression and being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2016.
I find my journey to be full of blessings. And to be present calls for me to simplify life, to slow down, and to do what makes me happy.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I share a lot about my ideas before getting started. I think doing this is part of the process, but also out of fear. I often look to others for validation. Is this a good idea, or am I crazy? I spent a little over a year talking and researching my idea for Tribe before taking the first actual steps to get it off the ground.
How did it feel getting started?
I tend to jump into things pretty quickly, but sometimes it’s just what you have to do to finally take that leap. With Hello My Tribe, our Austin, TX fitness/childcare studio is not a business I can turn on and off on a daily basis, or really speed up or slow down at this time. The problem with this is that in the beginning, I became quickly overwhelmed and didn’t have opportunities to play catch up. There was such a strong response to our pop up studio —600 unique women came through our doors over a 6-month period.
Absolutely fantastic, proved the idea, and a great learning experience.
But what also happened was that I didn’t have the proper tools or team in place to make the studio sustainable. Therefore, I was doing work that I wasn’t good at and that I didn’t enjoy doing. So guess what? I made a very hard decision to close the pop up studio so that I could take a step back to re-evaluate and make a better plan for the future.
Moms Night Out at Tribe
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started.
The BIGGEST obstacle I face over and over again is creating a sustainable business. My ideas take teams of people from the start. And this takes funding, which I don’t have outside of my own personal investment. I often feel alone, overwhelmed, and frustration that I can’t move any faster.
What motivates you?
I always have very clear missions with my work. With CharityBash/Cititzen Generation, my goals were to create the habit of giving and to provide opportunities for people to give back to the community. I was able to see these goals come to life every single day. And with Tribe, my goal is to help women and mothers lead healthy and happy lives. Again, I get to see this happening on a daily basis.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Public speaking of any kind…in front of people, a camera, or microphone. I have major anxiety when it comes to this. I push myself to participate in these activities, though, and then take long breaks in between. I have learned that facing my fears head on is where I will grow the most.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Probably how open I am with my struggles, although this is somewhat of a new thing for me.
What is your motto?
Be selfish in the right ways. Love yourself. Put yourself first.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Admitting I suffered from Postpartum Depression. When I first shared this in May 2016, it was a small snippet, but it ripped the band-aide off. I felt a weight lifted. Since then, I share more and more as time goes on and as I heal.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
I feel so much better when my current to do list is cleaned up. Doesn’t it feel good to cross items off?! But then I also sometimes just say fuck it and stop. I’m overwhelmed, I’m exhausted so what good is it going to do if I keep on going in that very moment? The last thing I want to do is get depleted and not be able to move forward at all.
Feature photo: Heather Gallagher Photography
Essay by: Alex Zeplain
Oh yes!!! I feel Alex 100%. Don't you? If you'd like to keep up with her or with Tribe - you can follow her adventures on Instagram and on Tribe's Web Site. I have been blessed to have Alex and Tribe and part of my life and I am so grateful!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Betsy Pake
I’ve always been a ‘doer’. My whole life I liked lists and forms and a specific outline for how to ‘do’. Which is why I find my journey so comical because nothing about it has followed a path that could be written on a check list.
Like most women, I wear lots of hats. I’m a mom and a wife and a dreamer of big things. I’m a writer and I love to help people get in touch with their passion and purpose to live authentically. I do this by helping them ‘Start Small to Live Big’.
I’ve tried a lot of different things over the years, and had some great successes. I built a career in sales and owned my own business, I did some incredible things with my fitness, ran a marathon and won bronze medal in the Pan American games in Olympic Lifting and owned a CrossFit gym.
But it wasn’t until my daughter started having extreme anxiety that I found my true purpose. She was eleven and was having anxiety attacks at school. After going from doctor after doctor, I learned it was her amygdala, that controls your freeze, fight or flight response, that gets over stimulated and causes her to have these attacks even when there is no real threat or danger.
I was working as a nutrition coach at the time, and I recognized this same thing in my clients but on a much smaller scale. I would ask them to do something outside of their comfort zone, something that would make them grow, and they froze. When we would do our follow up a week later, they would tell me they wanted to do it, but they had some resistance they couldn’t explain.
It was how my daughter explained her anxiety, just on a smaller scale.
So I started experimenting with both my daughter and my clients, giving them something SO small that they could basically tip toe past their amygdala. If they went small enough, that freeze, fight or flight response was never triggered and each time they did something new they effectively pushed the threshold farther and farther.
My clients started doing things they never thought they could do before, and my daughter was having success too. Today, she goes to the biggest high school in Georgia, with over 4,000 kids, and thrives.
I believe that we are all candles, but we have to fall into the darkness to know what we were really meant for.
I think that is what happened with me. As this was unfolding, I realized my purpose was much bigger than I originally anticipated and I decided to make the leap to do this work and I pushed my business of nutrition coaching aside. It was so exciting and so terrifying all at the same time.
I was building steadily with my nutrition business, had a best selling book on Amazon and although I wasn’t living large with my paychecks, I felt happy knowing I was contributing to our family. But something never felt right. It was scary to leave that small cocoon of security and turn my back on that path. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t the direction I was truly meant to be on and when my true path became clear, I recognized it and took the leap.
When I decided to change my focus, I had deep discussions with my husband about my plans. We determined a time frame that I could be without income and what I thought my steps should be. I was realistic and as we’ve reached each benchmark, we’ve talked and made decisions together.
I slowly closed my nutrition business, as each client felt successful and graduated, I didn’t replace them with someone else. I wrote a new book about my work with Starting Small called Start Small, Live Big: Thrive through change to live the life of your dreams. I started speaking, sharing at schools, talking to anyone who would listen! I feel like I have a great message that can help people and as the mission became clear, it became easier and easier to see the path.
I am still growing and changing every day. Some days I feel like the things I’ve learned in the past few months could fill up another book entirely. I’ve learned that growth isn’t for the weak and if you’ve got a mission to help people you have to be willing to deal with some of the hard stuff in your own life too.
One of my biggest obstacles has been staying in my zone of genius. When we are getting started as entrepreneurs we have to do lots of things that we aren’t great at because we may not have the money to outsource those things right away. I find doing ‘batch’ days really helps me. This is where I focus on just recording my podcasts, or just writing blog posts, or just creating graphics for an entire day. It keeps me focused and if its something I don’t enjoy, I don’t have to dread it day after day, I just get it out of the way all at once. This process really helps my creativity and staying positive, which is vital for someone working for themselves.
Someone I really admire is Glennon Doyle Melton. She’s an author, a truth teller and an incredible speaker. She took a dark time in her life, learned from it and now shares with others so we don’t all feel so alone. I think being that authentic is a special gift.
One talent I wish I had was to be able to sing! I sing in the car and in the shower, but when my daughter was young she heard me singing and started to cry. I knew right then there probably wasn’t a singing career in my future! I’m okay with that.
When my friends think of me, I think they probably think I’m super positive. I practice gratitude every day. There is so much goodness around us and our lives are truly what we focus on.
My motto is Start Small Live Big, because there is NOTHING you can’t accomplish if you break it down small enough. Nothing!
I’m most proud that I have raised such a kind daughter. I’ve asked her before, “What do you think I’d want most for your life?” She hesitated and said, “I was going to say happiness but I think it’s for me to be kind.” Absolutely. Kind people are happy people. Kind people are brave people. We have two choices in this world and two choices only; Love or Fear. Always shoot to choose love.
I hope in the future more roads will open up to me where I can work to serve others. Maybe it will be with more speaking opportunities and holding workshops or maybe in some other way I haven’t even thought of yet. I feel confident that my path is set, I just have to trust and take action on the ideas and opportunities that come to me.
One piece of advice I’d give to women who are just embarking on their journey is to figure out where you want to go and then set up small steps to get there! You can move mountains if you chunk it down. Take action when it comes to you. Ideas are little gifts from the universe so don’t let them pass you by. If you can’t take action right then, write them down and save them for later. You may not end up doing that exact action, but it may lead to some other creative path that is on your journey.
Find some mentors. If you can’t find them live, find them in books. There is so much to learn from others who have gone before you and although your path is unique, knowing that the challenges you face are universal and can be overcome will give you strength in the dark times.
I just LOVE Betsy's story - her piece is chock full of wisdom and encouragement!
Make sure to keep up with Betsy here:
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Jesse Coulter
Almost two years ago I shared the most intimate part of myself online. For years I was scared to write about it, and when I did share it online it wasn’t even on my own blog.
5 years I was diagnosed with vaginismus, a condition in which the vaginal muscles involuntarily or persistently contract which makes any kind of vaginal penetration painful or impossible. It’s hard to put into words how vaginismus has affected my life. It’s left me feeling hopeless, confused, disappointed, and isolated. When women would talk about their sex life, I immediately wanted to run away and hide. My closest friends knew about my pain, but I had never met one person who struggled with the same issue. I still feel like this some days. It’s CONSTANTLY on my mind, and affects many decisions I make such as what clothes I wear and activities I participate in. Thankfully sex is possible...hello three kids, but it’s a constant struggle.
My personal blog, Jesse Coulter, covers topics including fashion, home decor, motherhood, and more. I pride myself on being open to my readers and followers, but sharing such an intimate piece of my life was tough. I was terrified my current and future employers would judge me on this article if I posted it. I wanted to share my story, but I was scared. I needed to get it out. I needed to find someone who felt the same way I did. I joined Austin Moms Blog and wrote posts strictly about parenting/motherhood, and I decided to share my story there. It was like my own secret way of sharing, but not going all out...if that makes sense?
The response was insane. I received email after email for the next few months from women all over the country who struggled with pelvic floor issues. Most of them said they had only ever told their significant other, and they silently lived with the pain. They poured out their souls to me, and shared some of their most intimate stories. I felt honored to be trusted and I was able to truly say “I know how you feel.” A girl from Austin reached out to me and we actually met up for dinner one night to talk. She found the courage to share her story and is now making a documentary about pelvic floor pain! (You can find the Tightly Wound Documentary here.)
I’m so happy women are starting to speak up. For years gynecologist after gynecologist had no idea what I was talking about when I shared my symptoms. It was extremely frustrating to leave the doctor with no answers. I hope sharing my story brings light to this issue and women’s health in general.
What I’ve learned from all of this is that being vulnerable is KEY. Key to finding yourself, key to loving others, key to building positive relationships and key to loving life. I hope you find inspiration in my story to be vulnerable and share the scary things. The people that truly love and support you will be the ones standing by your side when it's all said and done.
You can find my original post from Austin Moms Blog here. I also did a podcast about it on the Jess Lively Show here. Feel free to reach out to me at jessercoulter@gmail.com if you have any questions!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
