The Courage to Become | Jena Cuellar Harris
Insecurity about my body is something I've never felt comfortable admitting.
Am I too short? Too muscular? Not curvy enough?
Ever since I could remember friends and family have always made comments about my body type. “Woah, look at those traps,” with a light squeeze on my shoulders. Or, “Those legs! They’re bigger than mine,” from a guy. And perhaps jokingly, lovingly, or admiringly but I don’t think anyone ever truly realizes how some of those comments can affect the way we feel about ourselves; How we harbor those comments deep down all the way into adulthood.
We can even let some of those words affect petty decisions like our style of clothing to serious decisions like business opportunities and career choices.
Being a young, athletic, female, can be extremely difficult when you are growing up.
When the majority of girls your age have softer lines and a more feminine build, you wonder, “Is it wrong to look the way I do?” Yet, at the same time, you love it! It can be quite conflicting in adolescence.
I've never been one to let adversity stand in the way of my goals.
When I decided I wanted to go to the University of Texas at Austin to run track, I hunted down the coach during freshman orientation and told him I wanted to run for him. I'd been offered scholarships to other schools but I didn't want those other schools. I wanted to be a Longhorn. So my persistence allowed me the opportunity to walk on. I made the team, proved myself, and ran cross-country and track all four years of my collegiate career.
When my husband and I decided we wanted to open our second business, a juice bar in South Texas, we were faced with wary friends and family members questioning whether or not it was a good business decision.
Of course, their worry was out of love, more than anything, but if that qualm didn't send us running in the opposite direction, surely the hesitance of others in the industry to give us advice would deter us, right? Nope!
It was quite the opposite. We traveled to juice bars around the country to learn from others, we spent tireless hours in our kitchen creating our own menu, and spent money we weren't sure was going to be recouped on blenders, juicers, and ingredients. This past April, our store, Shake Express, successfully surpassed the first year "make it or break it" phase and we are entering the second year with much acceptance and excitement from our community.
I'll never forget, a year ago, a client of mine was sharing an experience he checked off his bucket list. He proceeded to ask me, "What's on your bucket list?" I told him, "I've always wanted to start a blog. I've wanted to for years." His reply was, "Well what are you waiting for?!"
In truth, I was waiting to be leaner? Curvier? Smaller or less muscular? Putting myself out there in front of the world to see was a scary thought for me. Will they judge me or nitpick at what I am or am not? Compare me to other fitness bloggers?
So many insecurities and silly, unimportant, EXCUSES that hindered me from putting that "check" on my bucket list item. In the depths of my mind I could hear the voices of my adolescence seeping into my grown woman mind.
It wasn't until a year later that the topic of me starting a blog resurfaced. As business owners, some seasons can be tough. The fluctuation in revenue can be a bit unnerving. A few corporate career opportunities arose and they sounded safe. No worrying about what profits were going to look like for any given month or whether or not we'd be able to enjoy some of our lifestyle favorites during low season. For whatever reason, though, every time one of those opportunities felt like it was within grasp, it slipped away. Strangely, however, I was never upset or saddened about not getting the job. Perhaps, deep down in my heart, I knew that it's not what I wanted to do. God was steering me in another direction. But where?
I finally told my husband one Saturday afternoon as we floated around the pool, "I think I'm done trying to get a job. I have a job and I love it! I love my clients and I love what I do. But I want more!"
"More" in the sense that I wanted to reach more people. My client list was/is at full capacity. I can only help so many people, one-on-one, in a day. "How do I maximize that," I asked him.
My husband’s reply to me was, "Why don't you start a blog?" At that moment I stopped and thought to myself, "Have I ever shared with him my desire to start a blog?" I knew for a fact I hadn't. Maybe this was a reassurance that it was time.
My husband laid out a game plan and told me that he would help me to take photos and record videos. His newfound savvy behind the camera married with my journalistic background could definitely be the recipe for a successful and informative blog. A blog to help a myriad of people, not just locally, but globally, with fitness and nutrition advice! This was my goal, was it not?
I took the night to ponder and pray on it. The ease in the way the opportunity presented itself seemed almost super-natural to me. A sign from God. How do you say no to that?
The answer is- you don’t.
I felt compelled to do what God was calling me to do and He would help me to overcome the insecurities I have battled since childhood.
And he has.
Along with my loving husband who thinks I am the most beautiful woman, with the most amazing body. When I hesitate to post a photo or a video because I look to “squishy,” or short, or muscular, he is my biggest admirer reassuring me of how great I look.
I can confidently say, today, that I feel surer of myself than ever.
Do I have days where I’m being extra judgey of myself or let those comments I was once sensitive about resurface from where I have learned to bury them... absolutely. But it’s a work in progress. Everyday is.
At the end of the day, I’m glad I was able to overcome it and have the courage to start my blog because through it, I have already received messages and comments from followers thanking me for my nutrition and fitness advice. They have thanked me for motivating and encouraging them. That was my goal all along.
This was my courage to become a blogger.
You can feel Jena's fear and feel her walking through it, right? I think that's the most special part of this piece. She really let us see behind the curtain - and not everyone is brave enough or ready to do that. So -- thank you, Jena!!!
To keep up with Jena - make sure to follow her on her blog page - Jena's Gym and Juice.
And if you're in the RGV -stop by Shake Express or her gym, Strong Point!
Reader's reviews of The Courage to Become
"Thank you for not always trying to be perfect. Being genuine is way cooler!"
"Add this to your cart now!"
"Such a testament of hope and womanhood!"
"If you are a mom or a woman, you need this book."
Join the sisterhood!!! Grab your copy now!!
The Courage to Become | Rachel Lily Campbell
There are so many “things” I have accomplished in my short 33 years of existence. I have had a lot of life experiences that have been teaching, growth producing, fun, hard and joyful. You could say I’ve had a pretty full life up until now. So, as I was reflecting on what I truly feel the most proud of, it’s the absolute certainty of who I am as a woman, that only comes from the experiences life brings.
Being a girl is tough. From birth we are held to a lot of expectations that only get more and more intricate as we get older. Motherhood is no different. Combine the pressure and the expectations of womanhood and motherhood, and the lack of genuine support I believe all woman need, it’s TOUGH.
So, we learn to cope right? We settle because that’s what we think we are supposed to do. We stay in careers that don't challenge us, under bosses that don’t value us. Or, we stay in relationships that don’t serve us; we don't set clear boundaries of how we expect to be treated, and we feel guilty when we do finally speak up. We give in to the pressures of the media, and dishonor our bodies with erratic eating habits. We workout as punishment for our bodies betraying us, instead of celebration for what it has done for us. I have been ALL of these places. I have been all of these versions. Until, I was forced, to become who I was meant to be.
I want to tell you that I had this super epic “a-ha” moment and I was brave and blasted through low self esteem and came out victorious and now I’m about to share with you the secret “I LOVE LIFE” potion. But, that’s not my story. I was FORCED to be brave, and in that journey of becoming, is where I found the courage to finally, and unapologetically be me.
Tell us a little bit about yourself:
I was born and raised in LA and NYC to 2 very nontraditional artsy parents. I was painstakingly insecure - but very outgoing, which was a confusing mixture for me growing up. I struggled for years with debilitating eating disorders, that almost killed me. I found recovery a few times but nothing permanent until I gave birth to my son 3 years ago.
Pre-motherhood I worked for 10 years in the beauty industry before I got married to a conservative football loving, country boy, and desperately tried to fit the mold of the small town housewife. Fast forward a year or so later, I was suffocated and had completely lost my sense of self, but I was pregnant with my baby boy, the baby boy who would soon turn me into a mommy, which was the most soul shattering, earth crushing rebirth of my own self.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
This question is tough. I still dream of doing big things. Helping others in HUGE ways, and really changing the world.
But on a smaller scale, when I was married, I just knew the marriage I was in wasn’t for me. This baby boy inside of me deserved a mommy who was sure of who she was. Living in her authentic self. I was such a shell of who I knew I was made to be. I knew I needed to rebuild, and I couldn’t do it there. My son's father and I decided to divorce when he was just 4 months old. I moved to Austin and started a business, all while still in the throws of new motherhood, cluster feedings, sleepless nights, and my divorce.
How did it feel getting started?
I wasn’t scared. Maybe it was the adrenaline, I think I was in survival mode. Failure wasn’t an option. I believed in what I was doing. I knew it would help me, I knew it would help others, and I knew I could do it.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started?
Every new business venture has obstacles. I knew there would be financial hardship in the beginning, but I failed to realize that this was MY business, this was something I was SO passionate about. Not everyone would share this sentiment initially, so I was really disappointed when the first few months I was in business, I literally had not one client. I couldn’t figure out why every single other mom wasn’t on my level of excitement here. Throw in a few weeks of EPIC storms and flooding, it made for a miserable first quarter in business.
What motivates you?
My son. Hands down, he is my hero. Becoming a mother transformed me. It brought about a version of me that is stronger and braver than I ever knew. He is the reason for so many decisions in my personal and professional life, and being accountable for raising a human from the ground up is not only humbling but it has been the absolute joy of my lifetime.
Which living person do you most admire?
Oh I feel like I have so many answers to this! I admire so many different people, for so many different reasons. I would have to say all of the moms I know. We truly are a different breed of superhero. The selflessness that goes into motherhood, is HEROIC. Every single mother I have the opportunity to know, inspire me.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I could dance. Like really dance. Think Janet Jackson. Yes, that would be amazing!
What is your most marked characteristic?
I would say my energy and my enthusiasm for life is what I get complimented the most on. I am just as PUMPED about a new flavor of coffee creamer as I am when my son learns a new skill!
What is your motto?
I cannot take credit for this, as it’s by one of my favorite authors, Marianne Williamson but I have lived by this for so many years, “We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Starting and growing my business and raising my son. I’m sure there is more, but right now, in this season of life, these are at the forefront of my accomplishments
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
God, wine, girlfriends. IN THAT ORDER.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
You are capable of amazing things. We, as women, were built for so much more that we think. Just keep swimming.
Rachel is real and she is joy and she is a gift!!!! If you're in the Austin area - check out class opportunities here on the web site and for some daily feel good and motivation - follow Stroller Strides on Instagram and Facebook.
You will be so grateful to be part such a wonderful community of mamas lead by such an amazing spirit!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Alex Zeplain
I am a woman who really wants it all. I want a career, I want a personal life, I want my health, I want to be a present mom, and I want happiness. I have come to learn that I can have it all, but it won't all be at the same time. AND, that I am in control of defining what having it all means to me.
This way of living is a constant work in progress for me. Currently, I am the mother of a soon to be 3 year old boy; a wife to a hard working, entrepreneurial man; a caregiver to my mother; and founder of Hello My Tribe (to name a few of my roles).
With clients at Tribe
In a past life, I was a “professional” volunteer and founder of a nonprofit that promoted philanthropy and had great success. For years, this work was my identity, and when I stepped away from this career, I went through a huge life transformation becoming a wife and stay at home mom. Identity crisis…ding, ding, ding!
Due to my roles in the community and my career choices, most people are surprised to find out that I have social anxiety and am much of an introvert. I am learning to say “no” more and to choose activities that fill my cup, rather than empty it. And I am constantly striving to live a more balanced and honest life after experiencing Postpartum Depression and being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2016.
I find my journey to be full of blessings. And to be present calls for me to simplify life, to slow down, and to do what makes me happy.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I share a lot about my ideas before getting started. I think doing this is part of the process, but also out of fear. I often look to others for validation. Is this a good idea, or am I crazy? I spent a little over a year talking and researching my idea for Tribe before taking the first actual steps to get it off the ground.
How did it feel getting started?
I tend to jump into things pretty quickly, but sometimes it’s just what you have to do to finally take that leap. With Hello My Tribe, our Austin, TX fitness/childcare studio is not a business I can turn on and off on a daily basis, or really speed up or slow down at this time. The problem with this is that in the beginning, I became quickly overwhelmed and didn’t have opportunities to play catch up. There was such a strong response to our pop up studio —600 unique women came through our doors over a 6-month period.
Absolutely fantastic, proved the idea, and a great learning experience.
But what also happened was that I didn’t have the proper tools or team in place to make the studio sustainable. Therefore, I was doing work that I wasn’t good at and that I didn’t enjoy doing. So guess what? I made a very hard decision to close the pop up studio so that I could take a step back to re-evaluate and make a better plan for the future.
Moms Night Out at Tribe
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started.
The BIGGEST obstacle I face over and over again is creating a sustainable business. My ideas take teams of people from the start. And this takes funding, which I don’t have outside of my own personal investment. I often feel alone, overwhelmed, and frustration that I can’t move any faster.
What motivates you?
I always have very clear missions with my work. With CharityBash/Cititzen Generation, my goals were to create the habit of giving and to provide opportunities for people to give back to the community. I was able to see these goals come to life every single day. And with Tribe, my goal is to help women and mothers lead healthy and happy lives. Again, I get to see this happening on a daily basis.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Public speaking of any kind…in front of people, a camera, or microphone. I have major anxiety when it comes to this. I push myself to participate in these activities, though, and then take long breaks in between. I have learned that facing my fears head on is where I will grow the most.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Probably how open I am with my struggles, although this is somewhat of a new thing for me.
What is your motto?
Be selfish in the right ways. Love yourself. Put yourself first.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Admitting I suffered from Postpartum Depression. When I first shared this in May 2016, it was a small snippet, but it ripped the band-aide off. I felt a weight lifted. Since then, I share more and more as time goes on and as I heal.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
I feel so much better when my current to do list is cleaned up. Doesn’t it feel good to cross items off?! But then I also sometimes just say fuck it and stop. I’m overwhelmed, I’m exhausted so what good is it going to do if I keep on going in that very moment? The last thing I want to do is get depleted and not be able to move forward at all.
Feature photo: Heather Gallagher Photography
Essay by: Alex Zeplain
Oh yes!!! I feel Alex 100%. Don't you? If you'd like to keep up with her or with Tribe - you can follow her adventures on Instagram and on Tribe's Web Site. I have been blessed to have Alex and Tribe and part of my life and I am so grateful!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Tory DeOrian
Tell us a little bit about yourself
My name is Tory and I'm a professional children's and commercial illustrator! I work from home which means I snack a lot and go to bed really late. I could not be more grateful for my juicy creative life and I absolutely want to inspire others to reach their fullest creative potential. Some of my clients include Snapchat, Taco Bell, San Francisco Pride and Starbucks. I'm also lucky to be represented by the lovely Kelly Sonnack of Andrea Brown Literary Agency, for my picture books which are underway!
After college I started a group for young women, a creative/happiness club in which we all dedicated ourselves to a personal creative project, worked on bad habits, and essentially supported each other's creative and personal enrichment. It was revitalizing, and I dream of doing it on a much larger scale someday.
Aside from Illustration and Graphic Design, my fun jobs in the past have included: working as an intern for Disney, spending several years as a glittery children's entertainer (faerie/princess/mermaid) for Happily Ever Laughter Parties, and putting blush on people for two years as a Studio Makeup Artist for Smashbox Cosmetics. After getting my degree in Graphic Design, I went to makeup school in Portland, then two years later I moved to SoCal to earn my certificate in Children's Illustration at UC San Diego. I love school.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I've got two for you!
#1- Makeup Artistry. A very intimidating art form, right?! For some reason I was called to it toward the end of my senior year in college so I went to Portland for a 3 month makeup program. After earning my Makeup Certification I was able to do makeup alongside freelance Graphic Design + Illustration and it ended up being a wonderful job where I met all different types of amazing women. I'm so glad I faced my fear...My first day of makeup school I hardly knew what blush was even for.
Makeup ended up being an excellent career option, but Illustration was always my calling. So:
#2- Illustration...Except, Illustration never made me feel afraid! It was something I would do to relax, calm down, enjoy myself, and impress my parents with. Learning the Adobe programs was a SCARY thought at first but you catch on quick and it's not the kind of struggle you anticipate. (DO NOT let that stop you from being a digital artist. Eventually it's like playing a creative video game where the controls are second nature.) While growing up, making art was the ultimate escape. From drawing during 6th grade math lectures, to painting late into the night in high school.
How did it feel getting started?
Making the decision to major in Art in college is when it all really started. I was originally a Psych major (because I wanted to help people) but changed my major to Graphic Design immediately after learning what Graphic Design was. Then I'd say my career really started when I got hired to illustrate for Taco Bell at VIDCON 2016. I had to travel for the opportunity but I was so grateful and excited that I would have done the job for free. Not once has it ever been about the money.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started Illustrating.
The obstacles I faced starting out were mostly:
1) Quality. Frustration with the quality of my artwork. I would think "Why can't I get my art to look like I want it to? I have a vision in my head but the end result is not as good." The answer is practice, detail, and refining your technique.
2) Time. Working a day job is definitely an obstacle. But I would illustrate after I got home from work, spend 12 hours at my desk on my days off, assign myself new things every week. You have to relentlessly participate in the manifestation of your own blessings, as Elizabeth Gilbert says.
What motivates you to Illustrate?
You know that little mini happy bubbling feeling inside when something clicks? (Same when a comedian makes an entire audience laugh, or a pro basketball player makes their shot.) I love that feeling of a project coming together. It's also that I have so many tons of ideas, I get depressed and mentally agitated when I'm not working on them.
Making my clients happy is also a huge motivation. I'll spend much longer than I need to on a project in order to make sure it matches their vision.
Which living person do you most admire?
My dad. He was a police officer for 33 years until he safely retired, thank goodness. He's an artist too, and his questions about my dream to become a professional artist were never laced with doubt. He encourages me to grow and take every opportunity that presents itself. "Leave no stone unturned." He says.
Which talent would you most like to have?
If I could sing I would be on stage just like Katy Perry dressed like a cupcake wearing glittery makeup. It's hard to find an excuse to do that on stage as an illustrator!
What is your most marked characteristic?
I'm super tall so, that! But as an artist, it's my wildly colorful style that people somehow always recognize.
What is your motto?
Always have something to look forward to.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Since I'm 25 years old, having done projects for several big clients AND signing an agent all within the same year is something I feel grateful for and proud of. I didn't expect so many of my dreams to come true all at once but I guess since I literally illustrate sometimes for 14 hours a day and research opportunities obsessively that's the result. Being prolific is essential to success.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
During Oprah's Life You Want Tour, I remember Iyanla Vanzant getting on stage in all her vigor asking "Haven't you always been there for yourself??" I try to keep in mind that being stuck is all a part of the process; you've been stuck before and you'll be stuck again. As my dad says 'Don't force it!' Actually, just last night I was struggling with a pattern illustration, I woke up today and finished it by 1pm! Being that I illustrate anywhere from 8-14 hours a day, I get stuck a lot but I also get through it a lot!
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
I could talk your ear off with advice! As a seeker of guidance and knowledge at every turn, I'm more than happy to pass along what I know.
A general piece of advice which I learned as an intern for Disney in regards to being prolific:
Don't just make one piece of art, make 10. (Numbers 9 and 10 will probably end up being your best and you'll have more work to choose from.) Don't just come up with two or three ideas, come up with 20 or 30. (This way your ideas are more unique to you.) Don't just set two goals for the day, set five. (Then when you achieve almost all if not all of them, it's more than you would just having set two.) This, I've found, has been my secret to success.
Let me break it down into categories:
If you're looking into freelance graphic-design/illustration/photography:
Make the kind of work you want to be hired to do. If you're looking at a magazine ad or illustration on an app and you think "Hey! I bet I could do that! How can I get hired to do that??" Research, research, research the opportunities out there. Obsessively build your portfolio until it's really freaking good. Keep a list of contacts of art directors and inquire about opportunities when you're ready. (For example, when I've built enough of an editorial/magazine illustration portfolio, only then can I begin to reach out to those people.) Continue to build your knowledge base through taking classes (Good online classes I recommend: Lynda.com and skillshare.com. Skillshare is the more fun and quirky of the two, Lynda offers sophisticated technical knowledge.) Once you begin to get clients, you muse never miss a deadline. I once read this advice: "Be super honest with your clients and make them happy." This is something I live by as a freelancer.
If you're looking into picture book writing and/or illustration:
There are several good schooling programs out there. I chose the UC San Diego Extension program for Picture Book Illustration, which took me a year to complete and ended up being absolutely amazing! You MUSTjoin the SCBWI and attend conferences and meetings, read the monthly SCBWI magazine/bulletin that gets mailed to you. You also must be actively working on your writing and/or illustrating several times a week if not every day when you get home from work. Make it your new obsession. Learn about different publishers and figure out what you'll need in your portfolio to be ready to query agents. Design promotional mailers you can mail to art directors. Also, join twitter because the #kidlit world essentially lives there!
Also, make a list of assignments for yourself. Research events, classes, and workshops that you can take in your free time.
If you're looking into makeup artistry:
The beauty industry is everywhere, so if you learn makeup or skincare you're likely to be able to find a job anywhere you move to. That was appealing to me. Once you learn the steps of doing makeup and understand the different types of skin (comes with experience) you're likely to get the hang of it. I like to do things step-by-step and makeup artistry ended up being exactly that! I suggest finding a makeup artistry program or taking personal makeup lessons. All of the different prestige brands (Smashbox Cosmetics, Urban Decay, IT Cosmetics- to name a few) hire freelancers to travel locally and do makeup! Shoot for those positions starting out. They pay better than makeup retail positions and you get to move around! There's also wedding makeup, working at a cosmetic counter, film and television, etc.
I was blessed to have known Tory. To enjoy her the beautiful work she did while she was on this earth, visit:
Tory on her web site and on Instagram for added joy!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Allison Mack
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~ Maya Angelou
I love this quote. I live my life by this quote. When the opportunity to write about the “Courage to Become” fell into my lap my first thought was, gosh I haven’t really “become” anything. I’m a pretty ordinary person. I’m just me. I started to dig deep and really take a hard look back on my past, my history, my childhood, my parents, and what defines me, what doesn’t define me, but overall, what makes me… me.
I really feel pretty lucky that I’ve become a lot of amazing things - I’ve become a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friend to countless, but I’ve also had the blessing of becoming a business owner of an empowering community of women called, Austin Moms Blog and sometimes also known as my 4th child.
The condensed version of me is that I grew up in Austin, TX, lived in the same house my entire life and attended Westwood High School where my mother was {and still is} a teacher. My parents divorced when I was 2 years old and my sister and I are almost 10 years apart {I’m the baby} so in essence I grew up slightly like the only child…or so I’ve been told.
For as long as I can remember, I was always outgoing, tenacious, and loved being around people… a true extrovert. I was a cheerleader, trained in English Equestrian for several years, joined the FFA where I raised a lamb {we never made it to the slaughter trailer — my heart just couldn’t do it}, started competing in beauty pageants my Freshman year in high school, graduated from the University of Texas in Austin, and ultimately met my best friend, Wesley, who I would later marry and have 3 beautiful children with. Whew… that’s me in a outer surface nut shell and the longest sentence EVER.
My years in pageantry really set me up big time for what I’m doing in life now — I mean I can strut in a pair of heels while holding a crying baby on my hip, holding another’s hand, leading another with my knee, and still have room to throw in a hair flip all while my lips are glossed and my eyeliner is winged. That’s talent right there, people. In all seriousness though, pageantry really did help prepare me for being a business owner as well as a mom. I definitely don’t regret my pageant days.
Throughout my competition years I endured countless hours of training to make sure I was the best version of me. I know it sounds so cliche, but I really do believe that pageants bring out the best of who YOU were meant to be. I spent the most amount of time training for interview and public speaking. I also spent time learning how to walk in heels, how to put on false eyelashes, how to get my hair closer to God {it’s called a teasing comb}, and more, but my weakest area was always speaking in public.
When I look back at all of that training I kind of smile. It seemed like nonsense once my pageant days were over, but I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that training now that I’m older. As the owner of Austin Moms Blog, I make some sort of media appearance at least twice a month. Whether I’m on the news, speaking to a University of Texas advertising class, or connecting with other moms at an event, I’m now extremely comfortable speaking in public. I still get nervous, but I now know that at least I won’t suck when I do have to do it.
Austin Moms Blog is an opportunity that truly fell into my lap. It wasn’t something I was looking for, but I really feel like it was looking for me. In fact, my dream in life was to be a mom. Nothing more, nothing less, “just” a mom. Life had bigger plans for me. My husband had bigger plans for me. A friend had bigger plans for me. My children had bigger plans for me. And in the summer of 2011, after being a mom for just 1 very long year, a friend and I decided to launch Austin Moms Blog. It would be our hobby, a place where we could talk about all things mommy, a resource of sorts for other moms in the Austin community, a judgment free zone, and safe place. Now I juggle being “just” that mom as well as managing a business that requires at least {if not more} 30-40 hours of true work per week. 6 years later, I’m reminded that when you’re doing something you are passionate about that it can often lead to something pretty special.
Starting Austin Moms Blog made perfect sense because honestly, there was zero pressure and we were moms starting a moms blog. I mean duh. The way we looked at it was this was truly just for fun! I believe that’s what has made AMB so successful - we started from a really organic and authentic place in our lives. Moms just being moms. Eventually other moms kind of started to like us, which was awesome!
Austin Moms Blog Executive Team
When we first launched Austin Moms Blog we knew that there were similar resources out there for parents so we made every effort to try to be different. In the very beginning when AMB was just a newborn, we really didn’t have a lot of direction or guidance so it was just us trying to navigate as we went along. It wasn’t until we started bringing on a team of writers that AMB’s legs really grew and we were able to set ourselves apart from the rest as not just a resource, not just event focused, not just community driven, not just a contributing team, not just a one mom perspective, but ALL of that wrapped up under one umbrella. Diversity in our team is our #1 goal, because we recognize that all moms are different with different backgrounds, parenting styles, and that we are all at different stages of motherhood. Our team is 50 strong and we try really hard to embody all of those differences so we can touch all moms not just the ones that are like us.
Austin Moms Blog Contributing Team
I started this journey with a Maya Angelou quote and it’s literally something I say {condensed version, of course}, whenever I’m faced with adversity or in times that simply put, aren’t going my way. When you focus on the good, it’s hard to be saddened by the bad. Austin Moms Blog is good. I’m reminded of that daily by our current team, our past contributing writers, and even by our readers. We are ALL good good mamas no matter what our path to motherhood was, regardless of how many children we have, and despite our differences. That’s why I’m so proud to have become the behind the scenes voice of such a powerful platform as Austin Moms Blog.
A Few Fun Little Facts::
• Which living person do you most admire? This is tough. There are at least 2 handfuls of people that I truly admire so it wouldn’t be fair to call out only one. I will say that characteristics I admire most in people are “hard-working, driven, strong sense of humor, well-spoken, kind, dedicated, intelligent, faithful, successful {at something…anything!}, not afraid to show raw emotion, and open-mindedness”.
• Which talent would you most like to have? I wish so much that I knew how to play the piano. I know I know… it’s not too late to start, BUT it’s just not something I have the patience to learn this late in life. It’s one of those talents I wish I could just snap my fingers and magically have.
• What is your most marked characteristic? My hair.
• What are some things you are proud to have accomplished? I’m incredibly proud that I’m a UT graduate…it really wasn’t in the cards for me to go to an accredited university, but that tenaciousness came out in full force and I was determined to get ‘er done.
• What are some hopes you have for your future? I think my biggest hope is to watch my children grow into their own little people, which means I get to grow old {YAY!}. And I mean that…I’ll be ridiculously lucky if I get the chance to be full of wrinkles, gray hair, and live the journey my children and my husband take me on. If AMB went away tomorrow, I’d still be incredibly fulfilled.
• What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on? Do it {whatever “it” is} because you love it and it’s a passion, not because you need it or are trying to profit. If you’re truly doing what you love, it’s not really work.
Essay by: Allison Mack
To keep up with Allison's adventures be sure to follow along!
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Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Betsy Pake
I’ve always been a ‘doer’. My whole life I liked lists and forms and a specific outline for how to ‘do’. Which is why I find my journey so comical because nothing about it has followed a path that could be written on a check list.
Like most women, I wear lots of hats. I’m a mom and a wife and a dreamer of big things. I’m a writer and I love to help people get in touch with their passion and purpose to live authentically. I do this by helping them ‘Start Small to Live Big’.
I’ve tried a lot of different things over the years, and had some great successes. I built a career in sales and owned my own business, I did some incredible things with my fitness, ran a marathon and won bronze medal in the Pan American games in Olympic Lifting and owned a CrossFit gym.
But it wasn’t until my daughter started having extreme anxiety that I found my true purpose. She was eleven and was having anxiety attacks at school. After going from doctor after doctor, I learned it was her amygdala, that controls your freeze, fight or flight response, that gets over stimulated and causes her to have these attacks even when there is no real threat or danger.
I was working as a nutrition coach at the time, and I recognized this same thing in my clients but on a much smaller scale. I would ask them to do something outside of their comfort zone, something that would make them grow, and they froze. When we would do our follow up a week later, they would tell me they wanted to do it, but they had some resistance they couldn’t explain.
It was how my daughter explained her anxiety, just on a smaller scale.
So I started experimenting with both my daughter and my clients, giving them something SO small that they could basically tip toe past their amygdala. If they went small enough, that freeze, fight or flight response was never triggered and each time they did something new they effectively pushed the threshold farther and farther.
My clients started doing things they never thought they could do before, and my daughter was having success too. Today, she goes to the biggest high school in Georgia, with over 4,000 kids, and thrives.
I believe that we are all candles, but we have to fall into the darkness to know what we were really meant for.
I think that is what happened with me. As this was unfolding, I realized my purpose was much bigger than I originally anticipated and I decided to make the leap to do this work and I pushed my business of nutrition coaching aside. It was so exciting and so terrifying all at the same time.
I was building steadily with my nutrition business, had a best selling book on Amazon and although I wasn’t living large with my paychecks, I felt happy knowing I was contributing to our family. But something never felt right. It was scary to leave that small cocoon of security and turn my back on that path. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t the direction I was truly meant to be on and when my true path became clear, I recognized it and took the leap.
When I decided to change my focus, I had deep discussions with my husband about my plans. We determined a time frame that I could be without income and what I thought my steps should be. I was realistic and as we’ve reached each benchmark, we’ve talked and made decisions together.
I slowly closed my nutrition business, as each client felt successful and graduated, I didn’t replace them with someone else. I wrote a new book about my work with Starting Small called Start Small, Live Big: Thrive through change to live the life of your dreams. I started speaking, sharing at schools, talking to anyone who would listen! I feel like I have a great message that can help people and as the mission became clear, it became easier and easier to see the path.
I am still growing and changing every day. Some days I feel like the things I’ve learned in the past few months could fill up another book entirely. I’ve learned that growth isn’t for the weak and if you’ve got a mission to help people you have to be willing to deal with some of the hard stuff in your own life too.
One of my biggest obstacles has been staying in my zone of genius. When we are getting started as entrepreneurs we have to do lots of things that we aren’t great at because we may not have the money to outsource those things right away. I find doing ‘batch’ days really helps me. This is where I focus on just recording my podcasts, or just writing blog posts, or just creating graphics for an entire day. It keeps me focused and if its something I don’t enjoy, I don’t have to dread it day after day, I just get it out of the way all at once. This process really helps my creativity and staying positive, which is vital for someone working for themselves.
Someone I really admire is Glennon Doyle Melton. She’s an author, a truth teller and an incredible speaker. She took a dark time in her life, learned from it and now shares with others so we don’t all feel so alone. I think being that authentic is a special gift.
One talent I wish I had was to be able to sing! I sing in the car and in the shower, but when my daughter was young she heard me singing and started to cry. I knew right then there probably wasn’t a singing career in my future! I’m okay with that.
When my friends think of me, I think they probably think I’m super positive. I practice gratitude every day. There is so much goodness around us and our lives are truly what we focus on.
My motto is Start Small Live Big, because there is NOTHING you can’t accomplish if you break it down small enough. Nothing!
I’m most proud that I have raised such a kind daughter. I’ve asked her before, “What do you think I’d want most for your life?” She hesitated and said, “I was going to say happiness but I think it’s for me to be kind.” Absolutely. Kind people are happy people. Kind people are brave people. We have two choices in this world and two choices only; Love or Fear. Always shoot to choose love.
I hope in the future more roads will open up to me where I can work to serve others. Maybe it will be with more speaking opportunities and holding workshops or maybe in some other way I haven’t even thought of yet. I feel confident that my path is set, I just have to trust and take action on the ideas and opportunities that come to me.
One piece of advice I’d give to women who are just embarking on their journey is to figure out where you want to go and then set up small steps to get there! You can move mountains if you chunk it down. Take action when it comes to you. Ideas are little gifts from the universe so don’t let them pass you by. If you can’t take action right then, write them down and save them for later. You may not end up doing that exact action, but it may lead to some other creative path that is on your journey.
Find some mentors. If you can’t find them live, find them in books. There is so much to learn from others who have gone before you and although your path is unique, knowing that the challenges you face are universal and can be overcome will give you strength in the dark times.
I just LOVE Betsy's story - her piece is chock full of wisdom and encouragement!
Make sure to keep up with Betsy here:
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Dani Adams-Barry
I was lost. I mean, "Oh no, I missed my exit three states ago" lost. I fumbled through the archives of my brain seeking the moment I had misplaced the road map in an attempt to pick back up where I left off. However, this was not to be. I found myself crammed in the middle of a traffic jam on the highway of life.
I have always had the drive to accomplish my most intimidating goals. Even as a mother, I still embody this trait. However, I had not foreseen how my goals would shift once my babies arrived. As I frantically fought my way down the highway of life with every other individual jammed in the traffic to success, I did not see that my exit was coming up.
You may wonder what on earth I was doing. As an individual who wanted to have a family, I could hardly bare the anticipation of starting one. However, I ignored the reality that once your children are born, your priorities change. I believe all parents get a taste of this when a baby arrives. It's no longer about us. Your children are your world.
I had these beautiful babies that I could not bear to leave in a daycare all day. They are my children. I wanted to experience every milestone, every laugh, cry and booger. So, I turned all my life goals upside down to be with them. I ditched medical school as it required me to be in a hospital more than I would see my children and instead, I found an adequate job that allowed me to stay at home with them.
I never missed a moment and it was glorious! However, seeing that I had given up a career I truly enjoyed for one less invigorating became a struggle. As the years went by, I would scroll the pages of my old University wondering whether I should return part time and complete what I started.
Envisioning my medical career was easy. The process and TIME needed to complete it was a different story. Had I continued my education, the time I would have for children would be next to none. This was not a position I wanted to be in. True - the money for that career path would be substantially rewarding. But no amount of money can make up for the time with my children. Those are moments I will never get back and are priceless.
So I made the decision to let it go. I let go of my aspirations to complete my medical career so that I had time to spend with my beautiful babies. This decision was bitter sweet. As I abandoned the career path I once truly longed for I continued to seek a way to be successful doing something I love. Prospects dwindled as my work experience reflected a medical background and I became despondent.
What did I want to do with my life?!
Then, one day. An Ah-ha moment slapped me across the face. What do I love more than anything? What did I want to do for the rest of my life that would fulfill my need for success? It was so simple.
I was a mom, I love being a mom -- and what better way than to truly feed my passion and enliven my life than spread mom love? Sharing knowledge based on this wild ride we call Motherhood is a passion of mine. It was then that I had the courage to become a Mompreneur.
There is such a stigma when the term entrepreneur arises in casual conversation. I won't lie. I was one of those individuals who believed this term was representative of a devious salesman or a freeloader. I had not seen that this idea of branching out and taking the leap into a world of unknown was truly for the determined, driven and tenacious.
If you are going to make it as an entrepreneur, you must have the skills, confidence and will to succeed. Without these components, it's all for not. Coming to this conclusion was intimidating. You're putting yourself out there in hopes to make it or break it.
The more research I did, the more empowered I felt that this was the right decision for me. I had the courage to become a successful Mompreneur among the community of other strong, unyielding Mom Entrepreneurs of the world. I ignored the concerned sighs, disapproving glances and dissuading opinions of those around me and went for it.
Starting my web site was a huge leap - it was terrifying, and exhilarating. Although I had no idea what I was doing, I accepted the risk and just dove in. Seizing the moment and finally having the courage to take on this adventure and become a Mompreneur. In a career path that encompasses topics that I am eager to dive into, I find myself only longing for more knowledge to further develop my business.
My motto is, "Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward." With that in mind, I see every mistake and mishap as a lesson. We are parents, not perfectionists. There are days when I realize I have not brushed my teeth all day, for I have been immersed in the métier of motherhood. You know what? I'm totally OK with that.
I have high hopes for what lies ahead. I am ecstatic to have had the opportunity to meet such inspiring mothers and individuals in this line of work and look forward to acquainting others.
For those of you parenting pioneers that have a light inside you want to shine through, my advice is this. Don’t hold back. If you discover something you are truly passionate about, seize it. Do everything in your power to make your light shine. Continuously seek knowledge and insight. There is so much to learn every day.
It's crazy hard work. But, I love every bit of it and you will too.
Essay by: Dani Adams-Barry
You can connect with Dani on Facebook, Instagram or at Dani Adams Barry Photography
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Sarah Rioux
The Courage to Overcome Fear and Grow Mentally, Spiritually, Professionally
Ciao! My name is Sarah Rioux and I am the Owner, CEO and Co-Founder of Ladybird Provisions, and we make Coffee Bombs. I am the daughter of an Italian immigrant who has shown me what it looks like to be brave, dedicated and, perhaps most importantly, to chase after a dream no matter how hard it seems.
Coffee Bombs are a pre-made Butter Coffee supplement made up of Organic Virgin Coconut Oil, Grass-fed Butter, Collagen Protein and other medicinal spices that help different aspects of the body and mind. Each ingredient is meticulously chosen and each of the five flavors are intentionally crafted to stimulate the mind and jump-start the metabolism. We are still a new company (only five months in) but the overwhelming response to our product has been amazing so far.
The Beginning
I moved to Austin in August of 2015 to marry the man of my dreams, Jon, who I fatefully met over five years ago. I am a person who strives on security so quitting a safe job that I loved to move to a new city, get married and essentially start over was challenging for me in many ways. I am a Registered and Licensed Dietitian and recently went back to school for a Master’s Degree in Business. I had spent the last nine years working in Child Nutrition; as the Dietitian for Pasadena ISD in the Houston area and the Assistant Director of Child Nutrition for Fort Worth ISD. My safe career was rewarding in many ways, but there was always a part of me that didn’t feel fully content. I worked hard and I cared about what I did. I felt content and- here is that word again- safe.
I knew that moving to Austin would challenge me and force me to take the time to reflect on how I wanted to “dance” into this new phase of life, and explore what I really wanted to do professionally. My career was something that I had no idea how badly I wanted to change until presented with the opportunity…
How did it feel getting started?
Scary! It’s so funny to reflect back on but when Jon and I first met, I told him about this dream I had to open a healthy bakery. He loved the idea and constantly pushed me to pursue that dream. He used to tell me “Sarah, you work so hard for other people. If you worked half as hard for your self you’d be amazingly successful”. I loved his encouragement and the fact that he wanted to push me to be and do more than I thought I could, but I was scared. I was scared to leave my safe job that I was good at and comfortable doing to start something that was just a dream and so…unsafe.
Fast forward (or rewind) to August 2015 when I moved to Austin. I was forced into a naturally uncomfortable position (personally) of living in a new city and being unemployed. Jon was quietly but persistently whispering in my ear, telling me that it was the perfect time for me to start my own business, but I still wasn’t mentally or emotionally prepared to walk into the “unsafe zone”. So, I naturally spent my time looking online and applying to jobs. I wanted to find another safe job that would make me feel content. I had a plan for my life but it seemed that my life had another plan for me. Door after door was closed on me which tested my faith and mental strength over the course of a few months. I didn’t understand why this was happening to me at the time but now, of course, I do.
After those few months of rejection, I took a part-time job as the Dietitian for People’s RX, a local wellness pharmacy in Austin. I did not like the job (in fact I was miserable there!) but as fate would have it, it is where I met Nicole, my current business partner and the other Co-Founder of Ladybird Provisions. She is a drugless practitioner (among other things) who started advising her clients years ago to add grass-fed butter and coconut oil to their morning cup of coffee. She put these fat bombs in a mold so it was easy to add to hot coffee and forget about it. I did my own research on the Butter Coffee phenomenon and was overwhelmed with its multitude of health benefits but underwhelmed with the process of making it. People NEED something fast, easy and healthy in the morning that they don’t have to think about, right? I went to bed that night thinking about this and couldn’t sleep. I got my first “Ah Ha” moment that night and this fire inside me that said “THIS could be a business and it is something that I think I can do”! I couldn’t wait for the morning to tell Jon what I was thinking and that I wanted to start a business making Coffee Bombs- the first pre-made Butter Coffee additive (with protein) on the market. I went to Nicole and told her that I thought we could make a business out of this idea and she was on board! Together, we started playing with recipes, analyzing the nutritional panel and sourcing ingredients accordingly. The more we practiced and perfected the recipes, the more serious and excited I became. I quit working at People’s and decided to dedicate all of my time to Ladybird. Best. Decision. Ever.
Obstacles
Oh man! There were so many. I had finally found something that I was passionate and excited about and felt as though it was just meant to be. But, having a great idea and creating a business were two entirely different things so I had a lot to figure out. I’ve never been in the Consumer Packaged Goods (CPG) world before so I had to learn everything on the fly. Like how to form a company, name it, trademark it, research commercial kitchen space, health permits, cost analysis, ingredient sourcing, branding, packaging, logos, insurance, marketing, social media, finances, getting into stores (that was/is a BIG one) and the list goes on, and on, and on…. As daunting as all of this was, I was still having fun and enjoying the work I was doing and how much I was learning. And, for the first time in my professional career, the amount of work I put into Ladybird directly amounted to the productivity of the business. Figuring out how to grow is the next step. One with a whole new set of challenges to figure out and overcome. :)
What motivates you?
Fear. In all of this, I have realized that fear is a huge motivator for me. I want to show Fear that I can overcome it and that it won’t keep me down. Fear is such an inhibitor and stops so many talented, motivated people from reaching for their dreams (me included). I’ve overcome some of my fear-based obstacles but many are still there and surly more are still to come. Fear is a constant challenge to overcome but certainly, for me, a motivator to keep going for it, whatever “it” may be.
Which living person do you admire?
There are many people that I admire but none that I appreciate more than my mom, Patrizia. Like I mentioned before, she moved to the United States from Italy when she was just 22 years old to follow her dreams. She started off in New York where she became a Nanny and learned how to speak English. Then ended up in San Antonio, TX where she met my dad. She put herself through art school and has spent her entire life dedicated to her own emotional and spiritual growth and to helping others. She is a healer, a yoga teacher, an artist, a wife and an amazing mom. <3
What is your most marked characteristic?
I really love people. I have the ability to accept most people for who they are and where they are in the moment- even if it is not who I would want to be or where I would like to go. I try to appreciate everyone for their individual strengths rather than focus on their weaknesses. I guess you could say that I tend to see the best in people (for the most part anyway).
What is your motto?
Keep Truckin’. Life throws you curve balls and tests your dedication to the path that leads to your highest potential. Keep truckin’ when things get tough and have faith. It always works out if you let go. :)
What are some things that you are proud to have accomplished?
I am proud that I had faith and overcame my fear and started Ladybird. It was a HUGE step for me and something that I know had a profound impact on my psyche and confidence (even if I’m not totally sure exactly how).
I am also proud to have such a wonderful husband and great group of friends who I couldn’t imagine living without. Their support through this and the crazy rollercoaster we call life have been invaluable.
I am proud that I care about myself enough to eat right, exercise and sleep. Well, most of the time. :)
What are some hopes you have for your future?
I want to continue to grow emotionally and spiritually. I want my business to grow too, of course, but that’s not my entire focus. I think it’s important to work hard for what you want and even harder to keep what you already have. Without my friends, my husband and my health, there would be no business to work on.
Jon and I are also expecting our first baby in May, 2017. It is such an amazing and special time and the perfect opportunity to create something that I can be proud to tell this amazing child that is joining this world and our family in May.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Go for it! Don’t let fear hold you back, let it motivate you to move forward. Make a plan, be prepared and go for it! Keep truckin’ when it gets hard. You will never know what could’ve been if you never tried.
Good luck out there!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Anastasia Rodriguez Perez
Hope for Becoming a Virtual Entrepreneur ||
I always wanted to own my own business and “be the boss”. As a teacher, this prospect felt quite distant. In my sixth year of teaching, however, all of that changed. I was going to be a mom for the first time that summer and needed to figure out childcare in a town where we had no family. Maybe I’d work from home. How hard could that be?
I’m a techie at heart with a background in design and found myself making a critical decision with my husband when we started having kids. After teaching math for six years, I was going to stay home with my little man.
That’s when I started leaning back on my passion and my design degree. I studied architecture design at MIT and soon after completed a masters program focusing on instructional technology. Little did I know that what started as a few graphics and an Etsy shop would eventually connect me with a local parenting blog when I moved back to the Rio Grande Valley as a parent of two.
I have always leaned towards finding my place in the world by trying to help others and do something that matters. Along the way, when I have struggled with “what I’m doing with my life”, it almost always boiled down to the fact that what I was doing just wasn’t that important.
Teaching and being a mom matter. That’s a no brainer. Teaching fired me up and got me going every day thinking about how many kids I could convince that math was cool.
But what else could matter as much?
A Budding Entrepreneur
Getting started as a graphic designer once I had a newborn meant jumping at every opportunity to create and really selling myself short most of the time. I believed in myself but wasn’t sure others would. Looking back now, there were times when I absolutely worked for free, barely covering my expenses. This is what so many graphic designers do, especially since it’s such a saturated market. I yearned to create and this was filling my need to work and contribute to my family.
Now I know the value of my work, and I know the value of my time. Having kids means learning a new way of life and wondering where all the time has gone. Raising kids means making choices about how to spend time with them and balance work as well.
Sales were important, but something that used to make me squeamish. I have found now that when it’s tied in to something I believe in and am passionate about, my heart is all in. It has been scary to put myself out there and market what I do – graphic design and now blogging and running the RGV Moms Blog.
ARG Photographs
Taking Myself Seriously
Working from home has meant a constant struggle and exploration with boundaries. Where in the house should I work? First it was a little corner closet where I would try and work really early in the morning and then late at night. Ideally the kids would be sleeping. This wasn’t always the case. Mostly they all napped at different times and woke up throughout the night for years.
Then I moved into the kitchen so I could watch and interact with the kids while hoping to sneak in a few minutes of editing here and creating there. That was a bust.
So I bought a cute little desk and claimed a corner of the living room. This was a huge step in the right direction but that, too, did not last. By this time I had my third son, born before my oldest turned three. Now working from home meant leaning more and more on my husband, my mother, and my mother-in-law to help watch and play with the kids so I could steal a couple of hours of work here and there to fill orders and manage the blog. It really does take a village.
Finally a Blogging Mom
I started blogging with my first born, just so my family could see pictures and hear funny stories. Secretly I dreamed about having readers that sought out my stories and couldn’t wait to read what I was going to post next. So when my friend asked if I’d join her moms blog in early 2014 I couldn’t think of a better hobby.
The hobby quickly became much more than that. I still remember my husband asking me beforehand how involved I was going to be. He knew me too well. I don’t just sit on the bench. I was all in. First a contributor, then an editor, then I partnered up with my friend to be co-owner of the blog and help manage every aspect of it.
Our moms blog is a great platform for reaching local moms. I feel like we have a tremendous opportunity and also a great responsibility to connect moms and really develop community. This is something that matters. This blog is important and it is serving a greater sphere than just my own.
The WAHM Reality
In my mind, working from home was going to be quite romantic. We’d craft all day long and read books every hour on the hour. We do read lots of books, so there was some truth there. They’d patiently wait while I took a business call and they’d understand when I had to work on a graphic for half an hour. We’d work in tandem, all of us. Me and my boys.
Instead my house is noisy, chaotic, pretty much always littered with toys and play things, and I love it. Sure, I wish I could keep it all clean and that they could do the same.
I also work on shutting off work for dedicated family time. This has been one of my biggest hurdles. It’s hard, y’all. I think everyone can relate to the struggle with electronics invading our lives. When every single aspect of your work is tied to your phone and computer, it is even harder to unplug. It also looks like I’m doing nothing to most people, so that’s another thing.
I shied away from talking about my work for so long and worried family and friends just wouldn’t understand or give it value. It isn’t a career that fits in a neatly packaged box. I now feel courage to embrace what I do and talk anyone’s ear off about it if they are willing to listen. I love that I have been afforded a chance to raise my kids and carve time out of every day to manage my virtual entrepreneurship.
I hope that any woman considering a similar path knows that it take commitment. It takes a village. But it also takes belief in yourself and many, many cups of coffee for late nights and early mornings, and it is all very much worth it.
Doesn't Anastasia's story leave you wanting more! Me too!! When we teased Anastasia's blog last week, she received a virtual standing ovation from the internet - it was heart warming to see. She has obviously touched so many lives - I am honored she lent her story to our Sister Stories of Hope.
You can connect with Anasatsia here:
RGV Moms Blog -
WEBSITE || FACEBOOK || TWITTER || INSTAGRAM || PINTEREST
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Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Adrienne Hodge
The Courage to Overcome Barriers as an Artist
People often ask me how I make time be an artist as the mother of two small children. Most of the time this question comes from other moms or other artists, and it’s an important one for those who want to keep producing art while juggling real life, kids, and obligations that decidedly are not art.
How can we overcome the internal obstacles that all artists already face in the process of art making, while overcoming the external roadblocks that all new moms face when attempting to do anything productive outside of motherhood? The answer isn’t a simple one.
When I first left my job as a middle school art teacher to stay home with my first child three and a half years ago, I was terrified. I felt like a fraud. I had an identity crisis. I thought if I wasn’t an art teacher, who was I? I didn’t want to be just a mom.
It is not in my nature to devote all of my energy to keeping my home fully functioning. At the end of the day as a stay at home mom, I was bored. I wasn’t stimulated mentally or creatively. I thrive on routine, and so I became obsessed with my daughter’s daily routine for naps and bedtime, and then wildly annoyed when they were disrupted. I was in the middle of a fantastic bout with postpartum anxiety, but I didn’t realize it until I was out of that phase and looking back on the experience.
Now that my second baby is six months old, I am fully aware of my tendencies for nervous, fretting, worrisome anxiety. It all boils down to control and self-care for me. The less control I have over a situation, the more anxious I become, but if I have an abundance of self-care opportunities, then I can better cope with my lack of control over things in my life. Although, as any new mom will tell you, that formula is complicated to execute with tiny humans in the mix.
In motherhood, the best-laid plans are completely and constantly being overturned and opportunities for self-care are often impossible to extract from days that rotate around caring for others. Under these circumstances, creating art can seem a hopeless endeavor.
But, when I went back to work teaching community art classes to adults, I learned something, and I was elated. Suddenly, I had this opportunity to reinvent myself and reassume the identity I had been missing.
My adult students seemed to view me in a way that only a few of my middle school students ever did and my confidence soared immediately. I began to set a new loftier goal for myself—something I had lied to myself about every really wanting. I wanted become an active artist (i.e. create new work on a regular basis, show my work publicly and become a networking member of the artist community in Austin and beyond). Sure, I made art as a public school teacher—project examples for my classes mostly and in the summers I’d START a big painting, but usually never finish it.
Some of my student's work at the DAC
I began to approach my art making practice as just that—a practice. If my job is being an artist, then I have to work whether I feel like showing up for my job or not. Like Picasso said—“Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.”
Even before I became a mother, making art wasn’t easy. But procrastination was. I once made a list of all of the things I do when I’m procrastinating making art—finding the perfect music, making the perfect cup of tea, cleaning my workspace, etc.—and then I got real with myself and realized that all of the procrastinating was just a lot of busy work that masks the fear of making bad art.
But bad art isn’t something to be afraid of, and it’s all part of the process—practice, setbacks, lessons learned, and new course correction. And once mom-artists recognize how precious their creation time is, a lot of the course correction becomes automatic—one of the tools we pick up naturally and add to our tool belt by default of becoming mothers.
Now, instead of cleaning my workspace or making the perfect cup of whatever and waiting for the muse to arrive, I started to just shove the mess on my desk aside, sit down with my tepid cup of coffee and get busy drawing. Some days, I may only have however long the baby nap generally lasts and I probably still need to shower, but I have to work on my art.
My art practice has become everything now.
It’s not just a therapy or an outlet for my anxiety and a sanctuary of self-care from the unrealistic expectations of motherhood in our modern era; it’s my livelihood and my identity. The lovely side effect of devoting myself whole-heartedly to this goal of art making was that my class sizes at the Dougherty Arts School where I teach drawing and painting suddenly grew around the same time my paradigm shift in personal art production occurred. I am consistently at max capacity at the start of a new class, and that had been far from the case at first. As if overnight, I had a large mailing list of students. Word of mouth is a beautiful thing.
I now share my secrets and tips for building confidence and a daily or regular art practice with all of my students or anyone who will listen, and I find this audience to be extremely grateful of my encouragement and support in this area.
I read positive art affirmations to my classes out loud while they draw and paint. I approach the class like the best yoga instructors I know structure their classes—by supporting students with a relaxed and non-judgmental atmosphere in order to help them let go of critical inner dialogue, release expectations and explore their own self-guided practice.
Sometimes my classes end up feeling like a therapy session, and I love that. People find themselves, build confidence and grow before my eyes. I think part of my journey is learning to take credit for that though.
Recently, I’ve had some “Aw, no—that was all you!” moments when students have said I was the reason they were able to surprise themselves with their painting or drawing abilities, but as I type this I realize I should probably use the line I often feed them when they start to be self-deprecating about their work—“Thanks, I worked really hard on that.”
To bring it all back around to motherhood though, I’d say my mantras for a successful art practice could be applied to my practices as the confident mother whose shoes I’m still growing into.
The key for me is setting my expectations for myself extremely low.
Yeah, you read that right, and I often say that to my students, too. “Don’t aim for the moon. Aim for the end of the lawn and maybe you’ll land among the stars. Plus, the moon is closer to the earth than the stars, so that platitude is really scientifically incorrect anyway!”
Seriously though, we expect too much of ourselves. When we let ourselves off the hook, release expectations and find a niche in our day to day that is realistic and enjoyable, that’s where we generally find peace. I am still on my path to becoming the artist I want to be, and I’m sure I always will be. It’s a long road, and I find solace in that. The joy and growth happen along the way in the most unexpected ways. “Mistakes are opportunities for growth” is something I used to say to my middle school students, but I don’t think I really owned it until I threw myself headfirst into my own art journey.
Sometimes I really do attempt to approach a day of mom-artisthood with the expectation that I will fail at getting anything done. On days when I can only make it up to the studio space I now share with another talented and inspiring artist-mom if I bring my son with me, I set out knowing it’s going to be a struggle. I put him in the pack n’ play I leave there for him, and I may only get 20 minutes of actual work done over the course of a few hours, but it doesn’t matter. The success is in the attempt.
Just showing up is what matters. I have so much patience when it comes to learning and teaching, it amazes me. I wish I could apply that kind of patience to other areas of my life. I still feel like a fraud at times. I still have a hard time taking myself seriously as an artist. There is a fine line in the mind of the creative between egotistical grandeur and crippling self-doubt.
As a mother, you can find me guzzling my glass of wine after the tantrum orchestra that is the toddler-baby bedtime at my house thinking, “Well, I kept them alive today—that’s all that matters, right?” It sounds like another joke, but it IS what matters. When I spend hours I feel I don’t have to spare on a piece of art that doesn’t work and I decide to scrap it, I can choose to see those as wasted hours or be grateful for the valuable practice and growth I just experienced as an artist.
Likewise, as a mother, when I spend an hour trying to leave the house to run an errand that doesn’t happen that day because of a diaper-blowout-turned-unexpected-naptime or epic tantrum that leaves me staring into space, I have a similar choice in regards to perspective.
Being an artist, a part-time art teacher, and a full time stay-at-home-mom means I have to choose to make the time for my art career, to set aside my fears of making bad art, to power through past exhaustion, illness, bad moods and procrastinating tendencies.
I have to schedule blocks of work time around my busy business owner husband’s schedule at times when he can be home with both kids, pump breast milk for the baby, schedule babysitters, bring the toddler or the baby to the studio with me, play cartoons for hours longer than I care to admit in order to meet a deadline or work out an idea, and stay up late into the night when everyone else is asleep. I have to not care what anyone thinks about my messy house, my laundry piles, and the takeout meals or whatever unrealistic expectations I feel I’m not meeting as a mother.
When I look back on these years of early motherhood, I know it will be a blur and I know I will think fondly of the magical cuteness and sigh heavily at the hard-but-worth-it aspect of it all.
Although, the most incredible thing that keeps me going is that something in me switched on when I became a mother.
At a time when it would have been so easy to hit the snooze button, I decided to start dreaming bigger for myself and chasing some lifetime goals I could have easily put off until the nebulous time period when kids become easier to raise.
It’s as if I was such a huge procrastinator that I thought if I don’t challenge myself at one of the most challenging times in my life to do this, I never will.
Photo Credit - Nathan Russell
Throughout this post, I’ve started to list the tricks I employ to get and stay busy on my creative work, but they are so idiosyncratic, I’m not sure they would apply to anyone else, but I’m going to do it anyway:
· I work small: I keep small bags of drawing pens and pencils, my nicer inks in one bag, small sketchbooks I can take anywhere, etc. I pull them out when I’m sitting on the couch watching crap television.
· I’m constantly researching and connecting with art: Instead of scrolling through my phone mindlessly, I search Pinterest, Tumblr or Instagram for lesson planning ideas or resources to send to my students or ideas to inspire my own art. I don’t try to overachieve like I used to with lesson plans. I take screenshots and drop them into a slideshow to share with my classes. I look at the art of others all the time. They say good writers read a lot, and I think a good artist should stay connected to art all times. I recently traded some art prints for some gorgeous glasswork of another artist who found me on Instagram. Pulling from and putting back into the local and global art community is so important. I truly believe in the law of attraction, and I think supporting other artists in any way I can will only result in the growth of my own art career.
· I keep repetitive habits: I know I thrive on routine, and I know what my procrastinating pitfalls are, so I do what I’ve found works for me and I do so religiously. I listen to a certain podcast pretty much every time I sit down to really accomplish work on a project (Marc Maron’s WTF podcast or sometimes On Being with Krista Tippett).
Most importantly—I actively nurture and fuel the positive inner dialogue in my mind, and listen to the inner critic just enough to move away from what isn’t working in my art without bemoaning the loss of time and energy.
I practice constantly, and recognize that if something is off, I’m probably out of practice.
I’m not lying about positive art affirmations. There is a lot to be gained from saying “I am an artist. I am a creative genius!” to yourself and believing it.
All of these tricks really boil down to this, too. It’s an attitude.
A personal investment in your own self-compassion goes such a long way.
There is a thing we all wish we could do if personal ability wasn’t an obstacle and most of the time acknowledging that inner critic and nurturing yourself anyway will make it happen—sometimes overnight, and sometimes in the midst of the most challenging self-care epoch of your life!
Woah!! What an amazing piece of writing, right? I found myself idenitfying with so many points and also feeling completely inspired. I hope you did too! xo- catia
Connect with Adrienne here!
Moon Gallery Instagram / Facebook / Adrienne Hodge / Etsy / Moon Gallery Studio
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
