Courage to Become | Iliasis Muniz
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?
Be exactly who you are, and believe in yourself no matter what.
At twenty years old all I was thinking about was getting married and having babies. Although my life was 100% opposite of what I thought I wanted, I knew who I still wanted to be inside. I just wanted to be me. Whoever that girl was, I just wanted to be the most honest and open soul for myself and others.
By 20, I was living at my ex-husband's parents' house and basically without a job. He saved me from being out on the streets and moving from house to house. I will never regret my love for him, but I will regret thinking I was just a woman who could only marry and have children.
Life, later on, proved I was more than just that.
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Iliasis is one of them.
Enjoy her story of becoming. Iliasis and I started working together about 5 years ago. She photographed Alexandra for her 1-year portraits, they were divine and we’ve been working together and friends ever since. I have seen her grown and stretch and step into her own light. Please welcome, Iliasis.
Iliasis Muniz from Iliasis Muniz Photography
Tell us a little bit about yourself:
On growing up:
I can say that my most favorite place to live has so far been Texas. I have been in the South Padre Island area (bay area) for 15 years this summer, and it has allowed me to be who I always wanted to be for myself. My mother, who I do not have a relationship with anymore, took me on a roller coaster of a ride since the day I was born.
I was born in Hampton, Va, and visited my father/family for the first time when I was three years old. My father was getting married to another woman when my mother was pregnant with me, and let's say that I understood why she wanted to leave our beautiful island of Puerto Rico.
Shortly after, my mother fell in love with a man named Johnny, who was in the Navy, and he showed my mother and me the world. We lived in Hawaii, Italy, and visited many other places. Then at the age of 11, my mother ran into an incident with the law, and there I went for the first time to live with my grandmother in Puerto Rico.
Her mom, who was already taking care of my older brother Bryan who is Autistic. She was the one who also was extremely overprotective and lived in a poor area. It was humbling to be raised where I thought my whole life was supposed to take place. Time passes by, and my momma was ready to care for me again. I am now 15, and she is living in Texas with her new boyfriend. I knew when I got on that plane; I wasn't going back to Puerto Rico. I had experienced a lot already as it was and felt like my life would not have been able to grow if I'd stay in Puerto Rico.
Again, my relationship with my mother has always been a confusing journey. Now almost 30, I have realized a lot of my mother's decision had nothing to do with me, yet it felt like it was against me. I went back to my mother with so much anger and confusion and felt abandoned by her. I didn't understand why she'd just drop me off, so at 17 years old, I left the house to go live with my first boyfriend and lover.
My mother and I fell into another argument, and the words she expressed to me that day put fire in my heart to be a better version of myself to prove to her I could make it without her ever again. She said, "Of course I'll choose him over you, he pays the bills you don't.”
From that moment on, I had a mission to give myself the best I had to offer without her or anyone's judgment. I've been without my family here in Texas ever since. Of course, I visit my family back in Puerto Rico every year or two, but my mother... she is who made me and created me! She is who I will forever thank for giving me a chance to live life on my own. I love her and understand her, but I didn't have to become her. That is what I want and hope for others to know.
On love:
I have also experienced a nine-year relationship with my ex-husband, which was not a smooth journey. The man I married was intelligent, handsome, and had the family goals that I never thought existed. He was, at one point, the man of my dreams, but of course, with time and growing, things change. We changed as a couple, and we changed as individuals.
I never thought I would find out two months before my wedding that my future husband had cheated on me and was dabbling in a lifestyle of the "rich and famous". I believe that when we fall hard onto the ground face first, we mustn't cry, and we mustn't allow others to see our pain. However, we should take that pain and turn it into victories and positivity for ourselves. At least that is how I cope through difficult times.
Two years passed and life took us both again into two different directions. My reasons for staying with a spouse who cheated were my own, and I knew no one could ever take that away from me because I was going to be the only one who would experience it. My life with my ex-husband not only showed me what I did and did not want for myself anymore, but it also brought incredible observation as to why I made certain choices in my life while growing up. I am forever grateful for this struggle as it has indeed brought out my soul's strength that I always knew was there.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
The one thing I dreamt of doing was being a boss. Running someone's company and being able just to be free. I never thought my dream would come true. Now here I am running a boss babe business all on my own and feeling freer than ever in life. It came with a lot of hard work, but not once did I ever doubt myself. I lost girlfriends at the beginning of my career because they simply didn't think I was serious. Eight years this September, I continue to be blessed and thankful for all of what God has given me. My strength, my pure soul, and open heart were what got me here. I've had this drive since I was 15, looking for the opportunity to become who I wanted to become.
How did it feel getting started?
It felt exhilarating! I knew I wanted it; I knew I had what it took. My life had gotten me there for a reason. I never mentioned this prior because every detail is hard to remember about your life, but as I look back on it all now, God had set me up for this career. I just hadn't realized it yet. Before finding my career as a professional photographer, I worked three jobs. I worked at clothing store Isla/Rica as a sales rep, I was a teller at a local bank, and the bank owner hired me as his bookkeeper for his new restaurant on the island. What a perfect way to prep before starting your own business! Sales, banking, and bookkeeping. At 22 I didn’t think I was ready. Yet, here He is making things happen all because I just listened to Him. I am beyond grateful for the growth from then to now and can say He truly exists, and we just simply have to listen to what he gives us in our lives.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started as a photographer?
To be honest, the hardest obstacle that I had faced when I got started was losing my relationship with my ex-husband. I didn't know that my excitement and a newfound love for my career changed the way he looked at me. I knew he was happy for me, but I think he might have been upset that he hadn't found his nitch yet in life. I was very young and we weren't married yet, so I was putting my career in the front row more than I was putting our relationship. Personally, I thought he would find me more attractive for being the independent woman that I was and being able to hold my own. But overtime, we grew apart.
Being so young while in a very serious relationship and not understanding balance is something I wish someone had guided me on. I wish when this all began, I could have known and started to teach myself balance of all things that I love, but that was not the path that was intended for me. Everything happens for a reason
What motivates you to stay positive throughout all the hardships?
To be honest, love is what has kept me going and feeling like a survivor. I know that if I continue to show myself love and show others love that we can keep growing. We can keep going through hardships and feel the pain, but also understand that this had to happen to get to your destination. Which is where He wants you to be. No matter how hard the situation you are facing, you must not stop loving. Keep loving yourself, keep loving others, keep loving what you are doing in life. Whether it is with your career, your children, your spouse, even your animals, just keep that heart open and your mind free. Everything ends up falling back into place if you simply go through it with love and not anger.
Which living person do you most admire?
Ah, this one is one of the hardest questions for me. I have been blessed to have crossed paths with some pretty amazing people in the past almost 30 years of my life. Since my relationship with my mother hasn't been what I hoped for, I have personally become friends with many women who are a few years older than I am. I find myself friends with women who I aspire to be. The majority of my closest friends are mothers. I wish I could talk about every one of them, but this one amazing friend has shown me a different side of strength. She is a mother of two daughters, a fighter of on and off going depression, and an amazing wife/sister/daughter to her family. Verna has been my best friend for the past five years of my life. She's accepted change in so many ways and is one of my few friends who knows herself inside and out. I have learned so much about life and love because of her. She expresses love the way I wish I had when growing up. She fights with tears and her heart vs. anger and fear. She isn't perfect. She is such an understanding friend. She enjoys her space as much as I do, but when we get together again, we stuff our faces with our energy. I admire the way she lives life and the way she gives life to others. She is sensitive and yet a fighter at the same time.
Verna is an amazing woman and someone who I hope to have in my life forever. She just moved to Panama with her husband and two daughters. What a change, and the crazy part is that I have been blessed to be by her side through it all with her. We were in the car together, heading to a function when she received the text message from her husband about the opportunity. I immediately started to tear up, but at the same time rushed to say DO IT! What do you have to lose if you don't? From that moment on, I knew we were still going to stay best friends because when you love someone so much, you want to see them succeed. You want them to have the best life possible, and I knew being in the RGV wasn't it for her. Since then, I have visited her in Panama, because I wanted to show her how much I still love her friendship. My best friend, Verna is a warrior!
Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I could sing. I love singing around the house and most and about, but to be brutally honest, I am not very good. When I was in school in Virginia, choir audition for the lead role of Star-Spangled Banner. I, of course, auditioned because I loved to sing. Well, this sweet girl beat me, and from that moment on, I knew my life wasn't meant for me to be a singer. So yes, my most wished talent would be to sing with a good melody.
What is your most marked characteristic?
My most marked characteristic would have to be my positivity about life. I try my best to look at things and change perspective immediately when a negative comment is made because it's how we should all look at life. We should turn our frowns upside and be thankful for every little thing we have for ourselves and loved ones surrounding us. Things can always be worse, so by keeping that mindset in the negative place. Happiness is the key to staying alive and surviving. Positivity brings warmth, hope, and love to our souls. Which at the end of our time is the only thing we get to keep with us in the afterlife. At least that is what I am hoping for when my time comes, to simply have a happy soul.
What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?
Always think positive and change your perspective in life. I am a true believer in people's energy and like to keep my vibes high. That's why I feel like photography was a perfect choice for me as a career. I genuinely feel as if my positive energy helps creates the smiles I capture on my camera.
My way of using my skills of positivity and change of perspective is what has allowed me to be the person that I am today and keep my business doors open to the community. As we begin to work together, natural laughs and smiles start to show.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Well, just to be living -- to be honest. This world, at any time in age, has been tough to live. We have changed so much over the last decade alone, and to be honest, I am just blessed to be still standing with an open heart, healthy soul, and communicative mind. When I left Puerto Rico at 15, I couldn't imagine where my life would have taken me. I never once believed that my life would be the way it is with all the ups and downs. I am blessed just to have accomplished life itself for almost 30 years. Just reaching 30 this summer will be my best accomplish yet. I am genuinely just thankful to be still alive and well.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in mud?
My faith in myself. We all believe in a higher power, and I believe that He lives inside of me, which makes me powerful. He lives in me and is the one guiding me, so as long as I know my faith and believe in myself, everything will be fine. I know that if I am sad, He will be sad. I know that if I am happy, He will be happy. God is truly in all of us and therefore, we are all Gods. So if I am keeping myself, my body, and soul in the healthiest way possible then He will be feeling the same. I continue to tell myself these things anytime, and every time something happens in my life. Good or bad. The only person that can get us out of the mud is ourselves. So trust in yourself and have faith that you can do anything, and you will survive.
What's one piece of advice you'd give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
BE STRONG! BE BRAVE! BE FEARLESS!
Those three powerful keys have helped me arrive at where I am at in life. Being strong for yourself is the hardest thing you can do because we rely on other people's love and energy to heal us, but in all reality, we have it all along to heal ourselves. We need to listen and have the strength to feel it. Being brave for yourself is a huge key to getting anywhere in life, because without that energy, how will you be able to say yes to the next chapter. Say yes, even if you aren't brave enough. It will get you to where you belong to be. Being fearless is something I feel like we all struggle with because, well, let's face it, its scary! But if you focus on being strong, and being brave, being fearless comes naturally. Those two energies, I believe is what allows you to become a courageous woman. We can do anything to be and get where we deserve to be, but without those energies, in your heart and soul you won't be able to get there. I mean, get there with knowing you did it for yourself and on your own. That is the power we have as women—strength, Bravery, and being fearless.
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?
Be exactly who you are, and believe in yourself no matter what.
At twenty years old all I was thinking about was getting married and having babies. Although my life was 100% opposite of what I thought I wanted, I knew who I still wanted to be inside. I just wanted to be me. Whoever that girl was, I just wanted to be the most honest and open soul for myself and others.
By 20, I was living at my ex-husband's parents' house and basically without a job. He saved me from being out on the streets and moving from house to house. I will never regret my love for him, but I will regret thinking I was just a woman who could only marry and have children.
Life, later on, proved I was more than just that.
The fact that down the line in our relationship, I realized I couldn't conceive a child like the average woman was what changed my mind on who I was supposed to be. I had grown up thinking I was supposed to be this amazing mother and amazing wife. I never thought in a million years I was going to be her anytime soon.
To my 20-year-old self — be who you are, and don't be afraid of her. Don't be scared of anyone, anything, and especially any of the ideas of change.
I am who I am supposed to be today, and I will never take any of my life experiences away.
Iliasis Tyane is a professional photographer and owner of a local children's boutique, Tyane's Baby Boutique. Originally from Aguadilla, Puerto Rico, Iliasis moved to the small town of Port Isabel at the age of 15 as a young girl with big dreams. Shortly after graduating high school, she discovered her passion for photography, and that quickly blossomed into a successful and thriving photography business. Iliasis, or "Ily" as she is known to most, is self-taught and self-made, which speaks volumes about her dedication, persistence, and determination to be successful. She effortlessly juggles not only her photography business, but also runs her baby boutique all on her own. She is a total go-getter who personally manages all aspects of her businesses; from photographing clients to advertising and promoting herself via social media and other platforms, to buying and stocking for her boutique, Ily really does it all! In just 7 years of operating her photography business she has made quite a name for herself, and has even been featured with an article in The Bump magazine for her popular cake smash sessions. On top of being a successful business owner, Ily has become a supporter and mentor for other aspiring photographers in and around Texas. She now shares her amazing gift for photography and the knowledge she has gained through her years of experience by way of her photography workshops. Through her work, she is empowering other women to pursue their passions and follow their dreams just as she did. At only 29 years old, she is an incredible example of the "American dream". She is truly an inspiration too many women and is someone we can all learn so much from. She has also been a Guest Speaker for Social Empowerment Movement Supporter.
Be sure to connect with Iliasis on her social media channels and her website.
Iliasis Muniz on Facebook / Iliasis Muniz on Instagram / Iliasis Muniz Website
Hi friend!
Welcome to Bright Light.
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.
Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.
I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.
I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.
You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.
To each session, I bring my training as a Certified Conscious Coach, my graduate studies in Marriage and Family Therapy, and my decade-long career as an author and keynote speaker. My approach is multi-cultural, grounded in research and my own experience as the mama of two young girls.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
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Courage to Become | Shea Jones
Becoming a youth pastor who has never been to seminary is also an obstacle for me. It was one of my pastor's ideas and sounded crazy to me at first. But, he said... “you're already doing it, Shea.” So, I worry about the teaching aspects sometimes and try to overcompensate with the connection, fun, community & service parts, but I'm also a natural learner so I think deep down I'm capable.
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Shea is one of them.
Enjoy her story of becoming. Shea makes me grin from ear to ear because she cares so much. I can feel her caring through the internet. She loves her people and her community well, she wants the best for all of us, and she’s not afraid to work hard at those things. Please welcome, Shea!
Shea Jones from Austin New Church
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
I'm a mom of two sassy elementary-aged girls. A wife, friend, daughter, youth pastor (for 4 yrs), and accountant (for 20). I've always been a bit of a rebel, from a young age. I could never shake my head yes if my gut said no. Which caused strife when I was younger and I learned how to navigate it better, to show discernment in responding, to make it count, to be heard, and helpful. I was raised by people who told me my voice mattered which I didn't realize was somewhat uncommon, so I have always believed it does, matter.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I majored in government at UT Austin and always wanted to be in politics or become a lawyer. I've done neither.
I love that I get to tell my students that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. And that I added a new career (pastoring) at 38 yrs old. I didn't love school so I think that's part of why I never became a lawyer... although I worked a lot while I went to college (and had a decent amount of fun) so maybe that's why I didn't totally love it. Because I do love learning. I haven't been in politics because I think because I realized how risky, and uncertain it is and that doesn't pair well with my control-freak tendencies.
I'm also not sure I have thick enough skin.
Although... because my life & church is so driven by social justice issues in a way I feel like I get to do parts of both, just without the official title. I also have super loved getting involved in local politics.. my city and school board, etc. -- just taking every opportunity to get to know them because I feel like local politics can be super hard to feel connected to and understand.
Shea with the Austin New Church Students
How did it feel getting started?
I feel like I'm always getting started.
I've never been a visionary or dreamer. Any job or opportunity I've gotten hasn't been because I've dreamed it up. It's generally been pointed out by someone else that I should try it. Or I've just tried to work hard, kind, and be impactful wherever I've been, which I think has left me open to the things that have come my way and been a part of my journey. My husband is a dreamer.. he's creative... know's where he wants to retire & what he wants to be doing (fly fishing)... and I've always been pretty content to just be with my people, so I'll pretty much be where he is with some books. At first, I used to feel inadequate around him because I didn't have a dream to be a rock star or write music, but I realized it's what makes us work, and it's okay to not know what you want next. But be curiously & optimistically open for whatever presents itself.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started pastoring?
When I think about my life I think I have always been blessed with family, resources, support & friendship.
Some general challenges in my life have been my dad committing suicide when I was 24 (due to alcoholism & depression) and my parents’ divorce I believe. My husband also had a little sister pass when he was in middle school from Muscular Dystrophy so we're very aware that our lease of parenting, love, relationships are very much affected by both having lost someone in our immediate families sooner than you're generally 'supposed' to.
We know that makes us appreciate what we have & try to be present, but we also know it makes us worry & fear. The people we have lost are never far from our thoughts and that can be both a good & bad thing I think. Becoming a youth pastor who has never been to seminary is also an obstacle for me. It was one of my pastor's ideas and sounded crazy to me at first. But, he said... “you're already doing it, Shea.” So, I worry about the teaching aspects sometimes and try to overcompensate with the connection, fun, community & service parts, but I'm also a natural learner so I think deep down I'm capable.
I've also 'been in church' my whole life so that should count for something. The difference is since I didn't have a clue I'd be a pastor one day (was NEVER on my radar) I didn't listen in church the way you would if you thought you'd be teaching it one day. Maybe that's the lesson.. we should all be prepared to teach anything we're learning. Another recent obstacle is the kidney donation thing that happened 2 years ago, but I don't talk about that a ton bc it feels weird. It was a super-spiritual process for me, which would be a whole other paragraph+ but the gist is I didn't want fear to lead my decision. I felt it was important for my kids to see that, and I do believe that as we can we are meant to give back all we have, because Jesus told us to.
Shea with the Austin New Church Students
What motivates you to be a pastor?
I am motivated mostly by CONNECTION. One of my pastor bosses had me do the Strengthfinders 2.0 test and that was revealed to me. It makes me realize that connection drives most of what I do, how I respond, where I find my purpose & my gratitude. I can't stand fluff, or surface, or cliche for the life of me. That is the downfall. I crave authenticity to a fault - probably.
Which living person do you most admire?
I've always LOVED Oprah. When she had her last show about 8-9 years ago I had a watch party with like 30 friends. We made Oprah's favorite cocktail (Moscow mule), we served O-shaped food. It was a blast. And felt a bit like the end of an era. Oprah stood up for all people before it was cool. I had friends who didn't like her because she was too inclusive. Which is probably why I love her.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Singing! I literally can't carry a tune but I love to sing. And maybe sometimes I can if I'm lucky but the problem is I'm so tone-deaf that I wouldn't know it. And my husband's a musician so it extra hurts. I distinctly remember my dad telling me in my grandparent's church when I was around 8 years old that I couldn't sing... I actually have always felt VERY loved by him despite how he left this earth, and know he was trying to be funny, but his comment has stuck with me.
What is your most marked characteristic?
I think I'm kind of an asshole. I've gotten better at reigning it in, but as I've said I kind of always have been an IDGAF person. In fact, I should probably read a book that says "You should give a F more than you do!" LOL. I know this helps me in times but it has hurt relationships too, so I've had to learn from it. Learn how to become a better LISTENER. Actually work at that skill. I did when I started having coffee with people after the last presidential election, who voted differently than me. I knew politics weren't going away and neither was social media, so I really wanted to do a sampling and LISTEN, CONNECT, UNDERSTAND (even if we don't agree), then figure out how to TREAT each other better. Figure out why I responded so passionately inside myself.
What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?
I feel like my favorite motto changes about every quarter or so based on what I'm experiencing or learning at the time. I got this from a recent online boundaries course (by Kay Bruner) ... "literally the only thing we can control is the way we love each other."
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
I'm proud to be a good friend, mom, wife, and granddaughter. I'm proud to love teenagers well just as they are. To create a safe space for them to explore their faith. To be fully themselves, to not fear to ask hard questions or uncertainties... to fear silence about those things instead. I wasn't comfortable with the title youth pastor at first but I am now. And still today I will Google the word pastor and then think... yes, I am spiritually guiding teens. I am a pastor.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in mud?
I'm not one to open up to many when I'm down but I can be vulnerable with a few close friends, and especially my mom and husband. The funny thing about Tommy (my husband) and me is we were head over heels in love and talked marriage early on but he was oddly practical about making sure I was going to be someone who would compromise and be a good teammate.
There's a story early on of me giving him an ultimatum to pick his rock band or me. And he called my bluff, which I wasn't used to, and he picked the band.
It was a humbling two day break up and I had to come groveling back and ask for help. And I think it shaped the tone of our marriage, in which we take turns leading each other. But it starts with creating space for each other to be vulnerable.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Listen to you gut. It's generally trying to tell you something. It could be Jesus.
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20 year old self?
You're doing the best you can with what you know right now.
Isn’t Shea amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to reach out squeeze her neck right now.
I am so grateful that she shared her story with us. So much hope and forward motion in it. I loved it!
I know you’ll want to connect with Shea, here’s how you can.
Facebook , Instagram, Austin New Church , Austin New Church Students on Instagram, Austin New Church Students on Facebook
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational and TEDx speaker , Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Weekly Wisdom Guide
Shine your brightest,
Courage to Become | Anti-racist
“I had no idea I WAS racist!! I always thought that because I had black friends and was involved with black guys that I had immunity. It wasn't until my current boyfriend began pointing little things out to me throughout our relationship that I did, said, and that other people did and said that I realized just how racist we can all be without knowing it.”
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and the author of this piece is one of them.
This is a special and poignant piece. This piece was written in March of 2020 and submitted as anonymous for many reasons.
As the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery have ignited the entire nation, this piece ( already vitally important) is more important than ever.
Tell us a little bit about yourself:
I am 25 years old, have built a "successful" life for myself on my own, and am a cat mom. I own a social media management business (shoutout to my first paying client). I never know what to say when someone says, "tell me about yourself."
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I always wanted to build a family of my own and live a financially comfortable lifestyle. I only had one "real" boyfriend in high school and recently ended a relationship of 4.5 years. I was always afraid of having a successful relationship but had NO idea I had this fear until I started therapy last year. The issues I faced with boys when I was younger and with my current boyfriend all seemed to stem from issues with myself, but I learned that they actually stem from my upbringing.
How did it feel getting started?
When I first began dating my current boyfriend, things were great. Until racism showed its ugly face through my family and things began to get sticky. I still remember (and probably always will) almost every detail about the day my dad disowned me and let his wife talk about me and my man the way she did. Honestly, my subconscious blocked out a lot of the wording she used but my spirit has never forgiven her. This was the beginning.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you started dating someone who had a different skin color and heritage than you?
So like I said, things were great with my man until my family showed their true colors. This story isn't just about my relationship, though. It's really about my journey with racism.
I had no idea I WAS racist!! I always thought that because I had black friends and was involved with black guys that I had immunity. It wasn't until my current boyfriend began pointing little things out to me throughout our relationship that I did, said, and that other people did and said that I realized just how racist we can all be without knowing it.
Honestly, I kept up my ignorance until this year. So embarrassing. I read a book titled White Fragility and now preach its knowledge and recommend the book to everyone. I even sent it to a friend in the mail for her to read during quarantine.
Racism is systematic, meaning white people are racist by default. This doesn't make anyone a "bad" person, however, which is where some of the defensiveness comes from when white people are confronted about their actions. Anyway, without recanting the entire book, I learned a lot in the last 5 months, from the book, other research, peers, etc.
What motivates you become more sensitive and aware of your words and actions regarding racism?
The person I loved and was in a relationship with for 4.5 years, the black people I love, the white people I love, the Latinx people I love, etc. Even the people I don't know. I have such a new respect for all people and all races. The shit they put up with that white people DON'T EVEN NOTICE. I notice so much now!! I have such a new motivation to stand up for various morals and values now. I used to "avoid conflict" and now I'm not afraid to cause conflict in standing with love and respect.
Which living person do you most admire?
I most admire my ex-boyfriend. His patience isn't what allows him to brush off hate, it’s his confidence and respect for himself. He knows he’s better for the world than what other people may think of him for his skin color. He knows those people don't have issues with him personally, they have issue with themselves and the past they've learned through school and their upbringing. Not everyone has the willingness to learn more than they've been taught. He takes the time to learn more in attempt to better himself. He knows God's got him.
Which talent would you most like to have?
This is totally unrelated but I would LOVE to be able to dance. LOL. I've always had some good rhythm and I've been able to do some trendy dances throughout the years but as I've gotten older, the less I want to do the trendy dances (because let's be honest I don't want to shake my ass for anyone outside the bedroom) my talent with this has declined.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Physically, people comment on my skin and eyes the most. Personality wise, I hear more comments about how sweet and mature I am. I've always gotten this. I've always appreciated it because its gained me respect with people who matter in life rather than have been thought of as super cool and gotten "respect" from peers.
What is your motto? A message that motivates you or helps you along?
Sheesh. So many quotes come to mind. One that is super relevant to this, though, would be "Stand for nothing, or fall for anything." I don't remember who said this but it's SO TRUE. I used to not really understand it when I hear it in songs or when I'd hear it but now I do.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
My business! Also maintaining a relationship with my ex-boyfriend for so long. Of course, had some major speed bumps, but he was (is) a great man and we learned so much fron each other. Also finally maturing and educating myself on racism. It's been a long time coming. Although, I don't want to be TOO proud of myself because I feel like it should be required as a human.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
My future. I'd love to help support my mom like she's always done for me. Of course I'd love to provide a comfortable life for my kids – and one day I hope to have a mentally and emotionally stable relationship.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Educate. Read. Don't leave it up to your black friend to educate you on their painful experience. Find resources. Ask questions when necessary but don't totally rely on someone else to give you all the information. Also, don't ask the wrong people. This means don't ask white people who have little to no knowledge on the subject and don't ask people of color who clearly don't want to help you. They have the right to not want to answer your "simple questions."
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20 year old self?
LEARN NOW. STOP BEING IGNORANT.
Isn’t that something. What a story, tender and straight from a young person’s heart. May we all be moved to action to unlearn the racism we have absorbed and to learn how to honor brothers and sisters from different races than our own. - catia
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational and TEDx speaker , Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Weekly Wisdom Guide
Shine your brightest,
Courage to Become | Mariah Oller
When I first started my tarot business my hands were shaking. I was so afraid of publicly posting my photo in my profile picture. I was afraid of what the religious part of my family would think AND of what the scientists in my family would say. - Mariah Oller
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Mariah is one of them.
Enjoy her story of becoming. I watch her on social media and admire the way she excels at her craft while at the same time remaining the present mama to two sweet girls, and how she contributes so well to her community. Please welcome, Mariah.
Mariah Oller from Harvest and Moon
Mariah, tell us a little bit about yourself.
I am a Cell Biologist turned tarot reader, a survivor of domestic abuse, and homeschooling mother of 2.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
Most of my life is about dreaming and then jumping feet first. My biggest goal has always been to be happy. From there I have many branches.
I wanted to be in a healthy relationship. That may seem simple but for me, someone who grew up seeing and experiencing physical trauma, that has been a tough thing to reprogram. I go to therapy primarily to deal with how much love and pleasure I have in my life now.
I’ve always wanted to be a healer. I started that journey by diving into the hard sciences and later becoming a tarot reader. Surprisingly, I help a lot more people now, and it allows me to comfortable raise my kids.
How did it feel getting started as a tarot reader?
Getting started is always scary. My Dad loves to say “fear is a mind-killer.” I consciously coach myself to take fear as a signal to pay attention, instead of freezing.
When I first started my tarot business my hands were shaking. I was so afraid of publicly posting my photo in my profile picture. I was afraid of what the religious part of my family would think AND of what the scientists in my family would say. For me, tarot is the perfect blend of those worlds but I worried that it would be misunderstood by those I loved. My husband helped calm my nerves and encouraged me to own my brand and my spiritual practices. My family is very supportive of what I have created.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started reading tarot:
The biggest obstacle that I’ve faced are misconceptions about tarot. A lot of people are scared they are going to learn something they don’t want to know or they worry it will be something that goes against their religion.
My tarot readings have always been about empowering people to move towards a life that they love. We focus on discovering what action is needed right now to create harmony in careers, relationships, living situations, etc.
What motivates you to read tarot?
My children are my biggest motivation. I know that they will follow my example so I make sure I’m living a life I would also want for them.
Which living person do you most admire?
My grandmother. She has so much grit and wisdom. She’s the woman people come to when they need advice about their marriage or career.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Besides knowing future events and what actions are needed to overcome the obstacles?! I’m fully satisfied with the talents I have...but I would add ‘enjoys putting laundry away’ as a talent if I had a magic wand.
What is your most marked characteristic?
I am an achiever. I love to push myself and test what I’m capable of.
Is there a message that motivates you or encourages you along?
My mantra is “I’ll get the perfect thing at the perfect time.”
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
I loved getting my degree at 17. That really set the stage for me to be able to do anything I set my mind to.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in the mud?
I pull a tarot card reflect on what action I need to take right now and what goal I’m working towards in the next few months.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Stay diligent about who and what you allow around you. Consume media that feeds your mind and goals. Connect with people that speak life into you. Distance yourself from things that aren’t good for you.
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?
Wait until you’re old enough to legally drink before having a baby. Just because you created the life of an adult woman doesn’t mean you have the fully developed brain of an adult woman.
Mariah Oller is the founder of Harvest and Moon and the New Moon Tribe. She connects modern women to ancient traditions so that they may live a more grounded, exciting, and empowered life.
Mariah has always had a passion for healing. She received her first degree in Biotechnology when she was 17-years-old through the Texas Bioscience Institute and went on to become the lead Biologist designing Oxygen Concentrators for a Medical Device Company at the ripe age of 19.
Mariah seamlessly blends the worlds of Science and Magic together to create healing and balance for women in her community. Source: Harvest and Moon
Mariah is truly gifted and I know you will love connecting with her!
Harvest and Moon Web site — Harvest and Moon on Instagram — Harvest and Moon on Facebook
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational and TEDx speaker , Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Weekly Wisdom Guide
Shine your brightest,
When you're loved so well, you know you're enough | A farewell to The Mujeres Increibles
When I landed in Panama, I did not know one person. A week after we landed, I found a small gym and started taking Zumba classes. Sometimes, I was the only student. Awkward. In Austin, where I had lived before, I was a member of a large gym with 456 class offerings and all sorts of amenities. Stepping foot into the simplest of gyms was quite a departure. Still, I went. And after a few months of taking Zumba classes, I started to feel my courage bubble up. Many people would say it is not courageous to want to teach a fitness class in a tiny beach town in Central America. But it was my version of bold.
I contacted the owner and threw my hat in the ring. “I’d love to teach a class!”
She replied, “Do you have any type of certification?”
“No, I don’t, but I can lead.”
“Okay, thanks, I’ll keep it in mind.”
Total strikeout.
I’m not sure what I expected since I had no training, but still, the rejection stung a little.
BUT, a few weeks later, the owner called me and asked if I could substitute teach two Zumba classes. “Sure!” I was so thrilled. I watched YouTube videos and practiced moves. Picture it.
Okay. Stop picturing it.
The big day arrived, and I was ready was 4, maybe even 5 students!
One sweet lady showed. Marie.
It was a dumpster fire of an hour. 5, 6, 7, 8.
I was so pitiful at teaching Zumba. I’m cringing just thinking about it. I had NO CLUE what I was doing or how to communicate.
Still, I went home and practiced more. I’m no quitter, and I had a second class to teach!
Again, Marie was the only student. And again, I totally sucked.
It was so humbling and embarrassing.
I left with my tail between my legs.
I returned, with relief to my spot as a student.
A few weeks went by, and my phone rang. It was the owner of the gym. “Can you teach a weights class?”
“HELL YES I CAN! I have been working out since I was about 18 years old, and I have done thousands of weight class, Cross Fit classes, cardio classes, all sorts of things!”
This I could do.
So I showed up, ready, and confident.
On my first day, I had four students. Irina, Andrea, Cinthia, and Lole.
I didn’t know any of the ladies previous to the class, but it was an absolute blast! I had only been in Panama for a few months, and I still didn’t have friends. But I wanted friends. Maybe they could be my friends?
We came to Panama as a family to slow down, to take things off of our career plates, and to enjoy our children more. And the more we slowed down, the more space feelings had to rise to the surface.
For so long, I had been paying the meter on my career. Even when my career was running bars and restaurants, I had to be in constant forward motion. I thought that my worth was attached to who I was affiliated with, what I was producing, and what I could give other people. I always had some impressive pieces to present. Maybe it was that I had a great job and interacted with famous people, maybe it was that I lived in a fancy neighborhood, maybe it was that I published a book, maybe it was that I was a TEDx speaker. I could always hang my hat on some external thing, and that always brought me a sense of relief. If they know this ______________, then I’ll be validated.
But I started to notice, at the end of every finish line crossed, I never felt any different. I always felt like the same person. Never better or more validated or more qualified. And I started to get curious.
Who would I be without the hot poker of achievement moving me forward? Could I just be still? Would I be happy with my life, with myself if I was bare?
And so when I landed in Panama, I decided to do an experiment. I decided to let it all go.
It helped that all the hooks I used to hang my hat on, were nonexistent in Panama. There were no book stores, no bloggers, and there was no speaking circuit. No one was trying to amass a following or build a career.
And it was a HUGE relief. I never had to talk about work or my husband’s job or my career. None of it was important.
In the community where we landed, there was NO COMPETITION, even subconsciously, for anything. And even though it took me time to find the language for it, my body and heart knew, “Oh, this, this is what we’ve been needing.”
And so, for the first time maybe ever, I was myself.
I presented as Catia. Mom of two girls, wife to husband, from Texas. That was it. I didn’t have any stories attached to me. My history wasn’t important, the only thing that mattered was the present moment. The clothes I wore or the house I lived in or the car I drove didn’t matter. All that mattered was that my friends and I went for coffee and bagels after gym class. Who I was married to didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he was friendly.
And so I would show up to my gym class, and teach. I’d blare good music, and I would cheer on my students and laugh while I made up crazy workout combos. Slowly, we started to schedule play dates and text back and forth and eat meals together. My students had no idea that this way of living was absolutely foreign to me. They were too, just being themselves.
The gym was the most perfect place for me to land. It was everything I loved – women, music, teaching, encouraging, and fitness all rolled into one. I would cheer my students on and say things like, “embarrassment doesn’t exist here,” and “no one gets left behind!” I’d remind them of how sexy and strong they were. And we went from teacher/student to friend/friend.
We had so many laughs, and we also had tender moments. One day during class, my friend started crying. I’ll never forget it. I stopped class, and I walked over to her and just hugged her. She kept crying on my shoulder, and I told her it was going to be okay, and that she could cry. We stood in the middle of ten women, hugging. And when the tears stopped, we started the class up again. No further explanation. A pause, some tears, and a bear hug were enough.
My students who became friends were from all over! Russia, South Africa, Panama, Slovakia, Peru, Chile, Brazil, Canada, USA, Colombia, Cuba – so much diversity in one small gym class. Many a morning spent together, working out and pushing our bodies and also giving ourselves time, as women, as moms and wives to do some self-care. I taught three classes a week for about a year. It was the greatest surprise.
And so a few days ago, when they threw me a surprise farewell brunch, I was so tender and teary.
My friends walked me into Barbara’s house (one of our other friends) to see her “new decorations,” and they yelled, “SURPRISE!”
And I wept.
No one had ever thrown a surprise party for me. My first ever!
All my girlfriends were there, and I was overflowing with gratitude.
The brunch layout was the best I’d ever seen, and every detail from the infused water to the coffee cups was perfect. I felt so loved and cared for. I was on the brink of tears the entire time, and so when they started presenting me with the most touching and personal gifts, I lost it. And I knew I had to tell them what I had realized.
I told them about landing in Panama and having no one. I said how I valued them. I told them how I was so grateful for their love and friendship, and I gave them to utmost thanks for guiding me back to myself.
Me without achievement. The real me.
They showed me that I, on my own, was enough.
I
Was
Enough.
I’m not sure I had ever felt that before.
Many people love me and have loved me through many stages.
But I had never put myself in a situation where I had taken SO MUCH off my career plate that I was left kind of empty-handed, nothing to show off.
The entire experience was freeing and liberating and absolutely life-changing.
I am deeply grateful for every single one of these ladies. They will be a part of me forever.
Mujeres Increibles, Majo, Allison, Nina, Adriana, Pam, Natalia, Lole, Irina, Barbara, Cinthia, Julie, Judy, Bia, Andrea S., and Andrea L.,
Gracias por amarme bien. Son una bendicion! El mundo tiene suerte de tenerte, y mas que nada eres suficiente.
Thank you for loving me well. You are angels on earth. The world is lucky to have you, and above all else, you are enough.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
Shine your brightest,
Infinite Love | Show Up for Your Life
“Enter into a relationship with the universe, relationship as alive, as active, as vital as any other relationship. Then know that you are connected to the world and everything init. Know that the universal love, Divine love, is real and you are an important part of it.” -Melody Beattie, Journey to the HeartI
Life has a funny way of bringing us full circle.
Six years ago I was running bars and restaurants and I was having a blast! After a long work week, I’d cozy up on the couch with my dog, Beau Jackson and my cat, Charles and let my body and mind quite down.
Once I was really quiet, thoughts would start bubbling up. I’d start thinking about my feelings and where I wanted to go, and just the kind of woman I wanted to be. I didn’t quite know how to sort it all out - so I did what came naturally. I wrote. I wrote and wrote and started to share my thoughts via a blog. (This was bold stuff back then!) I was an aspiring writer, but didn’t yet have the language for it.
I spent years blogging about my feelings. It was both rewarding and brave. Every time I shared a blog post it revealed tender parts of me while at the same time encouraging others. And after a while, I found my style, my tone, as a writer.
April 2011
I started to gobble up books to be inspired and to learn. One of those books was Eat, Pray, Love. The decision to crack open Eat, Pray, Love was in hindsight, seminal. Elizabeth Gilbert infused courage into my heart as a woman and as a writer. She gave me permission to change, to love, to hurt and to seek.
In 2013, I got wind that Infinite Love, a community organization in the Rio Grande Valley, centered around love and meditation, was hosting Elizabeth Gilbert as a speaker - and I was over the moon delighted. Elizabeth Gilbert!!!! What an amazing opportunity. I was so happy just to be in her presence, I was swimming in gratitude.
Elizabeth Gilbert and I in 2013
That night I told her that her book changed my life and that I wanted to write a book one day. She hugged me and spoke encouragement over me and I left with a full heart.
——
On Wednesday May 1st, 2019, six years later, Infinite Love, the same organize that invited Elizabeth Gilbert, invited me to speak to their community.
I looked down the barrel of time and all the changes that had transpired and then it hit me.
It took six years, but I did what I set out to do. I put one foot in front of the other and designed the life I wanted. I changed careers, wrote and published a book, became a public speaker - and most importantly I found a way to not only be fulfilled but to be of service to my corner of the world. I have found a way to give my readers and audience members permission to change, to love, to hurt, to seek.
At Oprah’s Live the Life you Want Tour in 2014
With my girls celebrating the release of my book at Book People in Austin, 2017
At a Barnes and Noble Book Signing in 2018
Speaking to a group of college students at South Texas College in 2019
Life has a funny way of bringing us full circle.
—
The gathering of folks at Infinite Love on May 1st was holy.
There were men and women of all ages. There were men ready to release emotions and cry into my shoulder. One whispered, “One more hug please,” as his tears dried off.
There were women who told of traveling hours just to be there. There were moms who told me stories of their fractured relationships with daughters, clinging to hope.
There were people ready to pull the veil back and truly look at themselves. There was a husband in trucker hat and boots and a wife in a cardigans and flip flops, who wanted to connect and take their relationship to a deeper level.
There was a young college student who wanted encouragement because money was tight, a tired mom who wanted relief from her trauma filled past, and an eager mom and teenage son who traveled from North Mexico to come be a part of this event, this gathering.
Appearances would show a motley crew, but I know better. There’s nothing motley about souls who gather in that way.
As a speaker, I prepare months ahead of time. By the time I show up I have honed the information and my delivery hundreds of hours. I know what story will fit where and when to throw in a joke. And yet, when the event begins, I let all the technical go.
When the event begins, all that is left to do is for me to SEE every audience member. Hold them, hug them, pay attention to them, give their heart and their troubles a place of rest. And so even though I am the one with the microphone, it is an exchange of energy. Me and every single person in the audience, connecting and going deeper into truth, no matter how tender.
I have always had a great audiences. Every single one has been ready to share, to connect, and go there. This group, at Infinite Love, went above and beyond that. They were so present that what could have been just another Wednesday night, was a holy moment.
A lot of healing, a lot of tears, a lot of energy shifts, a lot of hugs.
This is my job, to see and hold my readers and audience members in their most tender moments and love them right where they are at. And it’s an honor.
—
Thank you to Infinite Love and the super sisters, Malka, Alka and Saju (and the rest of the family!) for being such a vital part of the Rio Grande Valley - you make a difference everyday. You are changing lives. You have made the world a better place.
Malka, Me, Saju and Alka - Three of the sisters who founded Infinite Love
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
Shine your brightest,
The Courage to Become | Andi Franklin
What I remember, is the silence. The dimly light dining room. My knees on the chair cushion and arms draped over its back, clutching a $25 Target gift card I had gotten as an early birthday present. Curtains peeled back, street lights on, and a cul-de-sac full of cars that were in for the night.
He’ll be here. He’ll be here. He promised he would take me, so he’ll be here.
I don’t know how long I was there, staring and waiting and convincing myself that he would show. But finally, I felt my mother’s gentle hand on my shoulder.
"Its time to go to bed, sweetie. I’m sure he just got caught up.”
Looking back, I think of my mom and hard that must have been for her. I think of how long she pondered what to say to her bright-eyed little girl who sat in a window all night waiting for her dad to show up and take her shopping for her 7th birthday. I wonder if she knew how far gone he was, I wonder if she saw it coming.
That night marked the beginning of my biological father’s exit strategy. I can only remember seeing him one other time in passing before he was gone for good. He never said goodbye. He never told me why. He was just, gone.
My mom explained that he was in the clutch of drugs and alcohol, but I wasn’t buying it. Deep down I knew the real reason he left⏤me.
This belief coursed through my veins and spread in my body like a cancer. Each year that passed I would get sicker and sicker, subconsciously convinced that his love was the cure. Meanwhile, in my conscious mind, I became obsessed with finding him.
The reason changed with each season in my life.
At the tender age of seven, I simply wanted him to come home to me. I loved him, missed him, and didn’t care about the rest. But as a new year turned, so would my feelings toward this elusive man. Emotions? I’ve felt them all. I think that is kind of expected when you are abandoned.
But what surprises me now, is how I let that single event in my life take the driver seat and dictate every future relationship.
My story of becoming, lies here—in the gaping wounds of a woman who spent over 20 years of her life looking for love, when love had been hers all along.
My quest to fill the void of my biological father’s love sent me down twisted, untended, shadowy trails.
It got to the point where I would push for young men to leave me around my birthday because I had convinced myself it was going to happen anyway.
Somehow, no matter what, I would always find myself back where I started:
Seven years old. Curtains peeled back, street lights on, and a cul-de-sac full of cars that were in for the night.
He’ll be here. He’ll be here. He promised he would take me, so he’ll be here.
I would always see it coming, but I would sit and wait anyway.
The leaving. The betrayal. The heartbreak.
My deep longing for love led me into the clutches of manipulation. Young men knew how to work a broken girl, and one in particular was so skilled that it took me weeks to realize he had raped me.
“But did you say no?”
Yes.
“But did you try to fight him off?”
Yes.
“And yet, you still didn’t realize you had been raped?”
No.
Trauma has a funny way of doing that to a person. Especially when it roots back to your childhood and incessant need to be loved.
Fortunately, I clawed my way out of that hell and found myself on the other side. The side that could sit in a space with other women who had gone through it and say, “me too, and I’m here for you.”
I met a man who wasn’t afraid of me and my baggage. A man who refused to leave me around my birthday, despite my many attempts to sway him otherwise.
We fell in love, got married, and therein lies the happy ending, right?
I sure thought so.
I had actively convinced myself that I was cured.
Healed! Praise Jesus, Hallelujah!
I thought the void had been filled and I went on with my merry way with life.
Until the day I finally had to come face to face with him.
Meeting my biological father again for the first time in 18 years was terrifying.
It was my grandfather’s 80th birthday and my father had been clean and sober for about six months, so the family allowed him to come to the event and notified us that he would be there.
I was five months pregnant with my first son.
Palms sweaty, face flushed.
Don’t you cry, Andrea. You’ve gotta stay strong for your brother.
I brought a notebook full of letters, songs, and poems I had written to him throughout the years. I was going to give it to him and show him the pain he had caused.
But when I saw him, I couldn’t do it.
This man, so broken and fragile. Petrified of us—his grown children.
My heart no longer hurt for just me, it hurt for him too.
And so the notebook stayed with me and I left that birthday party, heart still guarded, but softened.
He managed to stay clean for another year and a half and was even invited to my brother’s wedding. Then suddenly, he was gone again. Back into the warm arms of alcohol and Methamphetamine—his oldest friends, and closest enemies.
When I found out, I decided I was done with him for good. I wiped my hands clean, threw them in the air, and proclaimed that I was whole, and didn’t need him.
And yet, no matter what, I would always find myself back where I started:
Seven years old. Curtains peeled back, street lights on, and a cul-de-sac full of cars that were in for the night.
He’ll be here. He’ll be here. He promised he would take me, so he’ll be here.
Three and a half years had passed since I had seen or heard from him and then, my grandpa died.
I knew he would be at his father’s funeral, but I also knew he was on drugs and I was terrified of seeing him like that.
I stepped out of the truck at Green Acres Cemetery, not knowing what to expect.
Palms sweaty, face flushed.
Don’t you cry, Andrea. You’ve gotta stay strong for your brother.
But he never showed. And it was there, at the celebration of my grandpa’s life, that my becoming shifted.
I found out from my cousin that my father was homeless, living on a dirt road somewhere in the desert.
A rumble stirred within me.
Homeless.
I couldn’t accept this. I heard it echoing in my mind for days.
Homeless.
And so, I knew I needed to do something.
I talked to my husband and told him I really wanted to bring a care pack of sorts to my father. You know, toiletries and snacks and things that may help. I knew it wasn’t much, but I also knew it was better than nothing.
But first, I needed to know how to get to him. I decided to send him a facebook message and ask him if what I heard was true.
No response.
Then, an epiphany.
I was lying in bed next to my husband when I became.
I need to tell him I forgive him. Because, I do. I forgive him. And I need to tell him I love him. Because, I do. I love him. And I always have.
Then, another epiphany.
My entire life, I have thought that I needed his love to fill the void in my heart, when in truth, it is MY love that I have wanted to give to him this entire time.
There aren’t adequate enough words to describe this moment.
23 years in the making, I finally discovered my truth:
Conditional love is not who I am. My love is mine to give, and I don’t need someone to love me back in order to give them my love.
That, is unconditional love. And that, is what my soul has always wanted to give to my father.
I sent another message and this time, I told him I loved him and forgave him, without expecting anything in return.
Still, no response.
Then, I sent him this:
I just wanted to let you know that I love you. And I’ll probably tell you that every week from now on, whether you reply or not, because I want you to know that there is still someone living and breathing on this earth that loves and cares for you.
And every Thursday for the past three months I have done just that.
Since then, I was able to see him. My husband and I made the hour and a half drive to the dirt road he’s living on to bring him some things.
He’s created a house of sorts out of an abandoned trailer he found. He scavenges with his girlfriend and they both do drugs.
But, I still love him.
We chatted and laughed and I promised that next time we come, I would stay for a while and catch up more.
He will never be the father I dreamed up in my mind and he may never get clean and sober again.
But I’m no longer seven years old. Curtains peeled back, street lights on, and a cul-de-sac full of cars that were in for the night.
Now, I am a thirty-year-old woman. Eyes peeled open, natural light flooding in, and a heart full of unconditional love that I’m ready to give, freely.
I’ll be there. I’ll be there. I promised myself I would love fully, so I’ll be there.
Essay by: Andi Franklin
You can find more of Andi's writings on Facebook, Instagram and on her website Andi Franklin.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Jenna Zielbauer
Hi y’all! My name is Jenna Zielbauer, I am a 30 something mother of 2 living the dream in Austin, TX with my husband, tots, and high maintenance French bulldog. Our family moved to Texas from Chicago a little over a year ago and we never looked back! Just in case things weren't crazy enough from moving across the country on a whim, I went and invented RockEase™, the first compact & portable device that converts any standard 4-legged chair into a rocking chair for use as both a travel rocking chair and nursery rocking chair. RockEase™ can be installed in as little as 20 seconds. RockEase™ is patent pending!
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I have always dreamed of being my own boss. Perhaps it stems from my desire to work on my own terms, flex my creative and innovative muscles whenever I want, and/or wanting to be a strong powerhouse female in the working world. Whatever “it” is, I've always been driven to find gaps in the marketplace and give it a shot. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't, but you gotta try.
I didn’t always have aspirations to become an inventor, but out of desperation when traveling with my then-3-month-old, I invented a baby product that will become a sanity-saver for both new and seasoned parents. Taking the leap forward to act on this invention was absolutely terrifying. The thought of failing: letting early investors down; letting myself down; my family down; losing the hard earned money that has gone in to the project - is enough to keep anyone from moving forward (and lying awake at night once they've done so). But the confidence I have in the product combined with the feedback I have gotten from parents is enough to propel me onward, even when I am questioning everything.
How did it feel getting started?
It felt liberating but also very scary. So much is on the line for me both financially and mentally - it's more than enough to make someone not take that next step forward. But if you believe in what you are doing, the product you are bringing to market, and even just yourself as an entrepreneur, it will get you through those tough times.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started starting your own business.
One of the first engineering companies we worked with did a really poor job implementing our vision; we had such a negative experience that we asked for money back. The owner of the company then told me that he bought www.jennazielbauer.com (as a threat, as if he would do something with it). It was the most insane thing ever. He ended up giving us money back and turning over the the domain — but it was bizarre, and we learned a lot about what to look for in strategic partners as a result of this strange experience.
What motivates you to move forward.
Being an entrepreneur, the highs are high and the lows are low. Without fail, when I’m going through a dark moment, I’ll receive an email or Instagram DM from a prospective buyer telling me how much RockEase will change their life as a parent or how much they need it ASAP. Hearing from prospective buyers how much we will impact their lives as parents keeps me going.
Which living person do you most admire?
To be totally honest I admire any entrepreneurial mother out there hustling Monday - Sunday. The sole job of being a mother is by far the hardest job of all. You combine that with the stressors (physically, mentally, financially) of owning your own business and it’s enough for anyone to cash in their chips. I admire those that keep going, regardless of how hard it gets. It’s inspiring for their children, their friends and other mompreneurs admiring from afar (like me!).
Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to make anyone laugh. Just like rocking triggers a calming response in the parasympathetic nervous system, laughing decreases stress and triggers the release of endorphins (the body’s natural feel-good chemicals). Laughter is truly the best medicine and I wish I had to ability make more more people laugh. There is some good stand-up comedy in ATX, maybe I need to get out there? ;)
What is your most marked characteristic?
I have been told over and over that I am a great utility player, meaning this: Assign me a task and walk away - doesn't matter what it is - you can trust me to get the job done. I don't need direction, I don't need my hand held, I only need to know what the end result needs to be, and for you to trust that I will deliver.
What is your motto?
"Embrace the Chaos" - my husband and I adopted this as our "theme quote" before our first child was born. We decided than in those tough parenting moments, when all hell is breaking loose, to just embrace it. Embrace everything about it. Because one day you'll wish you could have that moment back.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Most obviously my two adorable children, my apparel line Casual Friday that was in 350+ stores within a year and profitable within months of launching, developing RockEase when all it was was a drawing on a napkin, and successfully moving cross country with our family to put our roots down in Texas.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
As far as work goes, knowing how many lives I will change for the better keeps me charging forward. And at home I rely on my tribe when I’m having those dark moments. I have a great circle of friends, all so different in their personalities, but I know who I can turn to when when I am feeling stuck and they’ll always guide me out.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Make sure you are putting your resources into something you are truly passionate about. Find a great support network who will pull you up when you feel stuck or down, and who will truly be happy (not jealous) when you succeed. Overestimate your expenses and costs, use the cloud to stay organized, and Google, Google, Google - there is a TON of great, free information out there.
Essay by: Jenna Zielbauer
Stay in touch with Jenna and Rockease at Rockease.com // Facebook // Instagram
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Reagan Corbett #reagART
Hi! My name is Reagan Corbett, I am twenty-four years old and a full time artist from Houston, TX. When I say artist, I mean that I am a creator of sorts, but primarily people recognize me as painter. Although my paintings are what put me on the map, I truly believe that art, and being an artist is more than what you see on the canvas.
Growing up, the one of the things I dreamt of doing was literally being good at something. Whatever that “something” was, I knew it wasn’t going to come easy.
As the middle sister of three girls, I never knew what exactly my “thing” was. I was never the smartest girl in the class, never the best athlete on the team, and honestly never the most talented student in my art classes; but I was always the hardest worker….and I think I get that quality from my dad, which I admire him for.
So I guess my dream, in a way, was to stand out...to be seen differently than so-and-so’s little sister or someone's daughter, but rather someone who was recognized and admired for their talents and accomplishments.
I guess my desire to “stand out”, came from knowing I wasn’t spectacular at anything, and in turn, made me afraid of almost nothing. What did I have to lose? If I tried and worked my hardest at the things that remotely interested me, something good would eventually happen-- and it did.
In the spring of 2012 I was accepted to the College of Fine Arts at the University of Texas at Austin, and decided to fully embrace the next four years of my creative journey by attending UT’s College of Fine Arts. I learned a ton from my professors, studied abroad, and made exponential strides in my quantified skill level as an artist. Fast-forward to senior year of college, I had learned a lot and loved (almost) all my classes, but had no clue as to what I would be doing post graduation. I researched tons of jobs that would allow me to exercise my creativity, but nothing seemed to “feel right”. I was lost. As senior year was coming to an end I decided I needed to do something with all of the giant paintings I had created over the past few years, so I posted them on Facebook and BOOM, the messages starting pouring in. Out of nowhere a career path came into sight-- people were no longer just complimenting my work, but they wanted to buy it. I was prompted by a friend to start a separate Instagram account (@reag_art) solely dedicated to showcasing my work. I took her advice and “ReagART” was born.
As easy as that sounds, getting started was scary and hard. Right as ReagART was taking off, my life drastically changed. I graduated from college and had to move back home with my parents, lost my studio space, lost group critiques, lost my woodshop, lost the advice of my professors, and just about everything else that made ReagART “work”. After searching for numerous studios around town in Houston, I finally find someone who was willing to take a chance on a twenty-two year old artist with no credit score. After signing the lease, I remember walking into my first studio and thinking, hopefully I can sell a painting to pay next month’s rent. It was the fear of failure, losing my dream of sharing art with the world, and self-disappointment that motivated me to work the hardest I ever had, and still do today.
It’s been almost three years since I first started my career as a professional artist in Houston, and there is no doubt that if I did not work as hard as I did then, and do today, I would not be sitting here writing about the courage to become, because there would be no story to tell.
Platforms
Right now, the living person I admire the most is my dad. As cheesy and predictable as that sounds he too is an entrepreneur and has unintentionally made me the worker, dreamer and schemer I am today! He’s the type of guy that leads by example, and always has the best advice.
A talent I would most like to have… I’m changing the question to a superpower I would most like to have, and that would be the ability to freeze time. I often find myself stressed, overwhelmed, and full of anxiety because there aren’t enough hours in the day. If I could freeze time, savor the moments (big or small) and get all of my work done… I might be the happiest girl on earth.
My most marked characteristic is drive and commitment to my craft. This job is not for the faint of heart. I hold myself accountable to only being as good as the efforts I put into my work, and with that mentality comes with a lot of sacrifices. Late nights, early mornings, not seeing friends, not seeing family, a lacking social life, no time for a romantic relationship, etc. It’s a trade-off, and a balancing act when I can manage it-- but for the most part my work is my life and that always comes first. If I didn’t fully believe and embrace that mentality, I know my story would be significantly different.
I have to admit that I have fallen victim to the act of comparison, so I am constantly reminding myself of the motto, “the grass is always greener”. I can’t help but envy people who get to leave the office at 5, and literally do not even have to think about work until they come back the next day. I mean that sounds pretty amazing, and somedays I would give anything for that….but then I remember, why I do what I do, and why being an artist works for me. It fulfills me, and makes me feel like I am doing my part in a society where everyone is different.
Working hard day in and day out isn’t always the most pleasurable experience, but this is all part of the bigger picture and I am confident that one day it will all pay off.
First and foremost, I am proud that I am entering my third year of being a full time artist. I am proud that I am an artist for me, and not because someone told me to. I am proud that I hosted my first solo exhibition at the age of twenty-three, and I am proud that my first ever public speech was a TED talk!
When things are looking really bad and not going well, I have to think about all that I have accomplished so far, and know that whatever this terrible moment is, it can’t be the end. I don’t know what my story is in full, or how it will end up, but I know that it won’t end on a bad note or because I was forced out. Another huge motivational force that keeps me going are my collectors and the people that have continued to support me and my career-- letting them down, would be my greatest fear; so giving up is simply not an option.
To any women out there who are about to embark on the journey of becoming an artist I have some words of advice:
Do not let the fear of the unknown stop you, instead let it fuel you to create your own path
Be confident in yourself and in your work, there will ALWAYS be someone who tries to tell you otherwise.
Do it for the passion, not the money
Take all the advice you can get
You are your biggest motivation. Whatever it takes-- get it done!
Essay by: Reagan Corbett
All the art featured was created by Reagan Corbett and if you love it, (which why wouldn't you?) go on over to her Website and browse!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Newsletter
The Courage to Become | Jill Faulkner
“Listening to your heart is not simple. Finding out who you are is not simple. It takes a lot of hard work and courage to get to know who you are and what you want. - Sue Bender”
Working on myself is the hardest work I have done to date, and the most worthwhile. But seriously, the hardest. Embarking on the journey of changing who I was at my core, which was really un-becoming my current self to get back to who I was meant to be, started a long time ago, and will continue until I die. Perhaps morbid, but also true. Self-work, like change, is constant. And YOU are the constant in your life. Realizing that this person (me) is all I have, and all I need, fueled my desire to live my best life. This is not to say that I do not have family and friends and support, or want all of those relationships in my life, but I control my happiness, I create my life.
As I have shifted my thinking, and perspective, I hope to encourage people to do the same. I want people to shift how they think. How they think about themselves, their lives, others, and the world around them. The shift is so magical. Daunting, and challenging, but the results are awesome. I wouldn’t be here, right now, in this moment, even writing this, had I not buckled in for the ride of a lifetime. Pursuing a life I desire. Becoming more of who I am meant to be. Stepping into a life destined to be mine.
There will always be ups and downs, which is how I got here, and maybe that’s how you got here, too. My life, and my business, Stick With It Co., were born out of a need to remind myself of how I was worthy of living the life I wanted. I needed to evolve my mindset, and my framework, and love myself so fiercely that no matter what outside forces swirled around me I stayed solid and steady. I craved the tools and sought out resources - so, countless books, YouTube videos, meditations, mantras, workshops, yoga classes, sticky-notes, therapy, and a whole lotta Oprah later, here we are.
Picture it, Austin, TX, 2015. Word of the year: Freedom. I don’t know how it came to me, or where I was, but it was my word for the year. I didn’t know at the time what I was looking for freedom from, or seeking freedom toward, but it was my word. Looking back, I also don’t know whether or not I consciously made decisions that year with “freedom” as my guide, or if it seeped into my subconscious and led the way without me realizing it. Cut to March of 2015, new job. Freedom? Cut to November 2015, fired. FREEDOM. Being let go was not a “blessing in disguise” - it was a straight up, in your face, here’s your freedom, girl. Now, what are you gonna do with it? It took almost the whole year, but here was freedom staring me in the face. I was free. Free from stress, emotionally free, and free to tap into what I really wanted to do. I was able to let go. And it was okay. I was okay. I knew it would be okay. All the stickies I had on my bathroom mirror, and kitchen cabinets got me here. In life, things are never in our desired timing, we have to give that up, let go of timing, and trust in the process.
I now had time to think about my life in a bigger way. It felt great. I also acknowledge and hold extreme gratitude for the fact that I was in a position to be able to take two weeks to just be, and figure some stuff out. In that time, I started iterating on a product, and names, and ideas, and all of the things. How could I get the concept of affirmations, and self-love to the masses? So, I just got started. Handwriting 50 different affirmations on sticky notes. Packaging them up, changing the packaging, and giving them away - to friends, family, strangers. The reactions were always positive and encouraging, which emboldened me to keep at it.
Original set of affirmations
At the beginning of December (2015) a job opportunity sort of fell into my lap, and well, mama needed a paycheck, so back to work I went. Continuing to pursue Stick With It Co. on the side worked out for some time, but I wanted more. So, about a year later, I quit my job. Scary, freeing, vomit-inducing, glorious, unknown, and wonderful all at the same time. I wanted to give this business the love and focus it deserved, but it wasn’t even ever about me. It’s about you. This business is happening through me, for greater purpose.
There is a need for people to see the power of their words and statements. Especially in the world within which we exist today. We must be intentional with our words, especially the words we speak about ourselves and our lives.
Self-love, self-approval, self-accountability, self-compassion, and self-respect will generate a solid connection with yourself, allowing connections with others, driving you forward with courage, while welcoming authenticity, resilience, and support into your life.
There’s been a lot of change recently for me. Picking up some event contract work, not working on the business as intensely as I was planning to, general life happenings - you know how it goes. Physical/locational changes, and you better believe emotional - ALL the emotions. Changing, learning, experiencing, letting go, surrendering, and forging ahead.
When all these things happen on their own, I imagine life might be a bit less stressful to handle. Throw all these sizable changes into a ring together, at the same time, and they’re ducking and weaving, and throwing punches you’re not always ready for - then it can be quite the ruckus. But, change is good. Change is needed. Change is like sandpaper - rough while it’s doing its life’s work, transforming and addressing some splinters, but on the other side you’re grateful to have gone through the pain to get to a better, smoother, less splintery place.
I’m not sure I got too off the mark with the sandpaper bit, but it just popped in my brain and I went with it. The point is, change can be painful. It hurts. Sometimes you don’t know why it’s happening, and sometimes you never find out why it did, but you have to trust it’s for the greater purpose for your life. All the changes are for reason. Maybe that reason is you just learn to love yourself a little more than the day before.
I believe the desire for human connection, with ourselves, and with others, is innate, and if we work to push aside the societally driven, culturally manipulated “things” that get in the way of connecting, we are on our way to living an authentic, and purposeful life. Being an open book, sharing my journey, sometimes whether or not you asked, and sometimes a little TMI, has proven time and again that we are such similar creatures and have so much to offer each other. Through connection, we not only discover the lives and journeys of others, we also learn a lot about ourselves.
I have certainly had my moments, and sometimes 24-seemingly infinity hours, of living in fear in which I am paralyzed, and therefore lack direction, and action. In those days I forgive myself, I acknowledge and thank fear for letting me know something I didn’t know before, and I work to find my way back to faith.
I consciously make a choice to live in faith. I have faith in the process of becoming, and unbecoming who I am, figuring out my purpose and place in this world, pursuing a life I am meant to live, feeling all of my feelings, and enjoying it all.
Stick With It to BE self-love, Stick With it to RELEASE fear, Stick With It to BE whoever, and whatever your heart desires. Stick With It to allow yourself to live your best life. Stick With It in order to un-become who you were to make space for change and embark on a journey of becoming that will astound you.
A customer from England sent an incredible letter, card, and polaroid photos of where she placed her affirmations in her home!
Essay by: Jill Faulkner
These days you can find Jill at: Stick With It Co // Instagram // Facebook
Hi there!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I wrote a book - The Courage to Become, I speak - TEDx #choosejoyordie, I coach, I mentor) are hope, joy and empowerment. I am all about big picture health and wellness.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
The Courage to Become Book
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide