The Courage to Become | Jenna Zielbauer
Hi y’all! My name is Jenna Zielbauer, I am a 30 something mother of 2 living the dream in Austin, TX with my husband, tots, and high maintenance French bulldog. Our family moved to Texas from Chicago a little over a year ago and we never looked back! Just in case things weren't crazy enough from moving across the country on a whim, I went and invented RockEase™, the first compact & portable device that converts any standard 4-legged chair into a rocking chair for use as both a travel rocking chair and nursery rocking chair. RockEase™ can be installed in as little as 20 seconds. RockEase™ is patent pending!
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I have always dreamed of being my own boss. Perhaps it stems from my desire to work on my own terms, flex my creative and innovative muscles whenever I want, and/or wanting to be a strong powerhouse female in the working world. Whatever “it” is, I've always been driven to find gaps in the marketplace and give it a shot. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't, but you gotta try.
I didn’t always have aspirations to become an inventor, but out of desperation when traveling with my then-3-month-old, I invented a baby product that will become a sanity-saver for both new and seasoned parents. Taking the leap forward to act on this invention was absolutely terrifying. The thought of failing: letting early investors down; letting myself down; my family down; losing the hard earned money that has gone in to the project - is enough to keep anyone from moving forward (and lying awake at night once they've done so). But the confidence I have in the product combined with the feedback I have gotten from parents is enough to propel me onward, even when I am questioning everything.
How did it feel getting started?
It felt liberating but also very scary. So much is on the line for me both financially and mentally - it's more than enough to make someone not take that next step forward. But if you believe in what you are doing, the product you are bringing to market, and even just yourself as an entrepreneur, it will get you through those tough times.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started starting your own business.
One of the first engineering companies we worked with did a really poor job implementing our vision; we had such a negative experience that we asked for money back. The owner of the company then told me that he bought www.jennazielbauer.com (as a threat, as if he would do something with it). It was the most insane thing ever. He ended up giving us money back and turning over the the domain — but it was bizarre, and we learned a lot about what to look for in strategic partners as a result of this strange experience.
What motivates you to move forward.
Being an entrepreneur, the highs are high and the lows are low. Without fail, when I’m going through a dark moment, I’ll receive an email or Instagram DM from a prospective buyer telling me how much RockEase will change their life as a parent or how much they need it ASAP. Hearing from prospective buyers how much we will impact their lives as parents keeps me going.
Which living person do you most admire?
To be totally honest I admire any entrepreneurial mother out there hustling Monday - Sunday. The sole job of being a mother is by far the hardest job of all. You combine that with the stressors (physically, mentally, financially) of owning your own business and it’s enough for anyone to cash in their chips. I admire those that keep going, regardless of how hard it gets. It’s inspiring for their children, their friends and other mompreneurs admiring from afar (like me!).
Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to make anyone laugh. Just like rocking triggers a calming response in the parasympathetic nervous system, laughing decreases stress and triggers the release of endorphins (the body’s natural feel-good chemicals). Laughter is truly the best medicine and I wish I had to ability make more more people laugh. There is some good stand-up comedy in ATX, maybe I need to get out there? ;)
What is your most marked characteristic?
I have been told over and over that I am a great utility player, meaning this: Assign me a task and walk away - doesn't matter what it is - you can trust me to get the job done. I don't need direction, I don't need my hand held, I only need to know what the end result needs to be, and for you to trust that I will deliver.
What is your motto?
"Embrace the Chaos" - my husband and I adopted this as our "theme quote" before our first child was born. We decided than in those tough parenting moments, when all hell is breaking loose, to just embrace it. Embrace everything about it. Because one day you'll wish you could have that moment back.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Most obviously my two adorable children, my apparel line Casual Friday that was in 350+ stores within a year and profitable within months of launching, developing RockEase when all it was was a drawing on a napkin, and successfully moving cross country with our family to put our roots down in Texas.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
As far as work goes, knowing how many lives I will change for the better keeps me charging forward. And at home I rely on my tribe when I’m having those dark moments. I have a great circle of friends, all so different in their personalities, but I know who I can turn to when when I am feeling stuck and they’ll always guide me out.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Make sure you are putting your resources into something you are truly passionate about. Find a great support network who will pull you up when you feel stuck or down, and who will truly be happy (not jealous) when you succeed. Overestimate your expenses and costs, use the cloud to stay organized, and Google, Google, Google - there is a TON of great, free information out there.
Essay by: Jenna Zielbauer
Stay in touch with Jenna and Rockease at Rockease.com // Facebook // Instagram
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Jesse Coulter
Almost two years ago I shared the most intimate part of myself online. For years I was scared to write about it, and when I did share it online it wasn’t even on my own blog.
5 years I was diagnosed with vaginismus, a condition in which the vaginal muscles involuntarily or persistently contract which makes any kind of vaginal penetration painful or impossible. It’s hard to put into words how vaginismus has affected my life. It’s left me feeling hopeless, confused, disappointed, and isolated. When women would talk about their sex life, I immediately wanted to run away and hide. My closest friends knew about my pain, but I had never met one person who struggled with the same issue. I still feel like this some days. It’s CONSTANTLY on my mind, and affects many decisions I make such as what clothes I wear and activities I participate in. Thankfully sex is possible...hello three kids, but it’s a constant struggle.
My personal blog, Jesse Coulter, covers topics including fashion, home decor, motherhood, and more. I pride myself on being open to my readers and followers, but sharing such an intimate piece of my life was tough. I was terrified my current and future employers would judge me on this article if I posted it. I wanted to share my story, but I was scared. I needed to get it out. I needed to find someone who felt the same way I did. I joined Austin Moms Blog and wrote posts strictly about parenting/motherhood, and I decided to share my story there. It was like my own secret way of sharing, but not going all out...if that makes sense?
The response was insane. I received email after email for the next few months from women all over the country who struggled with pelvic floor issues. Most of them said they had only ever told their significant other, and they silently lived with the pain. They poured out their souls to me, and shared some of their most intimate stories. I felt honored to be trusted and I was able to truly say “I know how you feel.” A girl from Austin reached out to me and we actually met up for dinner one night to talk. She found the courage to share her story and is now making a documentary about pelvic floor pain! (You can find the Tightly Wound Documentary here.)
I’m so happy women are starting to speak up. For years gynecologist after gynecologist had no idea what I was talking about when I shared my symptoms. It was extremely frustrating to leave the doctor with no answers. I hope sharing my story brings light to this issue and women’s health in general.
What I’ve learned from all of this is that being vulnerable is KEY. Key to finding yourself, key to loving others, key to building positive relationships and key to loving life. I hope you find inspiration in my story to be vulnerable and share the scary things. The people that truly love and support you will be the ones standing by your side when it's all said and done.
You can find my original post from Austin Moms Blog here. I also did a podcast about it on the Jess Lively Show here. Feel free to reach out to me at jessercoulter@gmail.com if you have any questions!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Erin Ruoff
Tell us a little bit about yourself:
I'm Erin and I came to Austin at almost 6 years ago to get out of the little bubble I was living in. I needed some “weird” in my life and boy, does Austin dish it out. Within five years here I years got hitched, moved to the burbs and had a baby. A quick 5 years! I'm a mom and agency owner by day and a blogger by night. My day normally consists of a Starbucks caramel macchiato, chasing the little chunk around the house, managing to help run an advertising agency and manage a household, followed by some home-cooked food, and then finishing off the day with the Bachelorette, netflix or a movie.
My blog Hi Lovely is a place to share outfits, babies, treats and travels. Focused on photography, fashion and greater well-being of this new mama's life. You'll find me easily seduced by a lovely cup of coffee, a well designed hand bag or a margarita. I might be covered in baby poop one day and diamonds the next. Thus the life of a mom who blogs.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I’ve always dreamt of having a boutique or successful fashion blog. I yearned over the gorgeous photos of Blair Eadie and A Beautiful Mess. I would spend my breaks running a boutique (for an awful company) and just longed to have a blog like theirs – so full of life and fun. Thankfully my husband helped me pick a name, bought the domain and I started by taking pictures outside work. Nothing fancy but it felt right!
How did it feel getting started?
It was scary. I lost my job a month or so after I started the blog. I got fired, y’all. And I was scared. Scared of what I was going to tell my parents. Scared of what my husband would say. Being laid off for giving my mom a “friends and family discount.” A discount that was sewn into the company culture. I was devastated. I sat on the ground of our rental and “let go and let God.” I prayed for answers, guidance and strength. That day my husband offered me a piece of the advertising agency he owned and I got off the floor and started blogging.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started blogging?
Lots of obstacles: time management, maintaining a regular posting schedule, taking quality pictures, etc. etc. But the biggest thing was self esteem. I worried so much about what others would think of me posting photos of myself. I’m no model nor to I pretend to be and I didn’t want people to think that’s what I was doing. I really just love playing dress up and putting together outfits. I had to get over that and it took a while. I love who I am and the outfits I put on. I hope that my “friends” see that and those that don’t can unfollow me.
What motivates you to be a life and style blogger?
My blogger friends in the mommy and style business are so motivating. They just show that the industry of fashion is changing from fashion shows and glorious magazine ads to fashion bloggers of all shapes and sizes. They radiate happiness, yet are so real and are able to blog full time. It’s an amazing feeling to get your first big client that sees who you are and wants you to showcase their brand. I know God had plans for me to do something creative and I think this is it.
Which living person do you most admire?
My dad. He’s had hard times and worked his life to the top of the newspaper business only to be laid off due to the demise of the industry. He got back up at 50 and got a great job. Though it might not be his passion, he persevered and didn’t let the age statistics of unemployment get him down. He’s the greatest grandfather to my son. Though we don’t see eye to eye on politics, we still are able to have rational conversations and I love that about him. He also taught me to love sports, writing and photography. It pretty much runs in our blood.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Singing. I’m terrible. And the natural ability to talk on camera. I get this weird girly, high-pitched voice when the red light comes on. I don’t know how to stop….
What is your most marked characteristic?
I’m a very loyal friend. Once you have me in your tribe, I’m a lifer.
What is your motto?
Let go and Let God. And my funny one “Hi Lovely!” (You automatically smile saying it.)
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Being a Social Media Director of a million dollar ad agency, running social media for Austin’s largest parenting resource and getting off my feet when I hit rock bottom to accomplish those two things.
What are some hopes you have for your future?
I’d love to make an honest living from blogging. Although our agency is our main income, it’d be nice to have a second income so we can tuck a little more away and start really contributing to charities around town.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
“Let go and let God” guide you to your blogging journey. Don’t let self-esteem, nay-sayers or competitors get you down. Trust in Him to see the value in YOU and what YOU are doing. Don’t be afraid to “pitch” a companyeven if you have small numbers. Do spend time growing your audience and engaging with your followers. And don’t EVER let it be chore! Have fun.
Essay by: Erin Ruoff
It seems like BECOMING the woman you were meant to be isn't easy for anyone! Each one of our roads has speed bumps and turns and sometimes outright blocks! But as Erin showed us, it's possible to get up and RISE.
Thanks, Erin!!!
You can find Erin at Hi Lovely and on Instagram and Facebook.
love!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Chrystie Vachon
Hi, I’m Chrystie
Married. Tattooed. Margarita Lover. Blogging Entrepreneur. Mom of 3.
I’ve spent the last 10 years making a living off the internet by starting and selling blogs. In total, I’ve sold 4 blogs and earned hundreds of thousands of dollars throughout the years as a result. I’ve blogged about celebrities, coupons, mason jar recipes, subscription boxes and many other topics…basically..I’m an equal opportunity blogger! I blog about what I love and I blog about what makes me money.
Writing this piece has really allowed me to see just how far I have come in my professional life and in my personal life.
I suppose my story begins at 4:00am on a typical work day in 2009. My two children are sleeping across the room from mine. My husband is in bed next to me and the weather outside is frosty. My alarm clock sounds, I check Twitter and Facebook by the light of my phone. I get up, get dressed, grab a cup of coffee and drive 30 minutes to the train station to catch the 5:45 am train into Boston to go to my start-up job. I was the Social Media Strategist for an up and coming mobile app and I loved it.
I’d bounce off the train at 8:15am (yes that’s almost 3 hours one way) and get back on the train at 5:45 to arrive home at 8:15pm. Several nights a week I didn’t even make it home before 10:00pm because I would attend networking events to further my career and my place in my field. On the nights I did make it home, my children would be in bed already and my husband would be watching TV. I’d sit down on the opposite sofa and open up my computer and continue to work until midnight.
If I’m being honest, at the time, I didn’t see anything wrong with that lifestyle. I didn’t see anything wrong with working so much. As a matter of fact it made me feel important and needed. My mother worked a lot when I was a child, carrying at least 2 jobs at a time. It’s all I ever knew.
It wasn’t until my marriage dissolved that I realized the toll that my career driven lifestyle had taken on my life. All of a sudden I was a 32 year old divorced single mom who had missed the last several years of her children’s life in exchange for an impressive resume. But a resume wasn’t going to piece my family back together.
Truth be told…I never felt ‘good’ at motherhood. I never was the mushy gushy kind of mom that all of my friends were. I didn’t yearn to be home with my children. That didn’t come naturally to me. What did come naturally was being an employee. Being a star employee who got raises and praise. I was the type of person who needed that type of encouragement. And as most moms know…you don’t get that encouragement when you are staying home. You get screaming children. Messy living rooms and mountains of laundry. It’s hard and work was my escape.
Shortly after my divorce, I left my job in Boston. Commuting 3 hours each way just wasn’t an option anymore. It wasn’t good for my new family dynamic. And so instead, I started a small consulting business and worked with clients until I started a blog, which as luck would have it, allowed me to make a full time salary while staying home. For the first time in my life, I was able to drop my kids off at school, and be there when they got off the bus. Take time out of my day to attend school plays and pick them up from school when they were sick. I got to make up for all those times when I couldn’t do those things.
Finding love again...
The courage to become the mother I always wanted to be meant redefining my definition of success. I no longer needed a boss to tell me I was great.
I no longer needed a high paying salary to tell me I was worth it.
Now my definition of success is being able to live life on my terms and give my children my most valuable asset, time.
Our family of 5!
More from Chrystie!!!
Throughout the years, I’ve learned some helpful tips on how to get your blog noticed, how to choose the right topic and how to drive massive traffic to your website. I started Living for Naptime to share my best tips and experiences with other moms who might want to jump into having their own blog. There’s nothing I love more than when one of my friends asks me to help them set up a blog! My answer is always YES…and WHY did you wait so long?
If you’ve been thinking about starting a blog, I’m so glad you are here. I hope I can help you!
I pretty much live my life online and would love to connect with you, find me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest!
You can find me here! Living For Naptime and my newest venture -
Lularoe Fashion Consultant - LulaGroupies
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
Sign Up Here
The Courage to Become | Kim Pena
The “Courage to Become” is such an all-encompassing subject. When I first brainstormed this I thought of things I had “become.”
From a daughter-->friend-->educator-->wife-->mother-->strong woman the list was long but not super interesting. I reached out the Catia and she asked me a simple but powerful question, “What do you feel has been the most difficult for you? What were you most scared of?” I almost immediately responded but then I just sat back and really reflected for a few days because as an adult not much scares me, but that has by no means always been the case.
How did I go from a child who was scared of even speaking to a woman who not only finds strength in herself but works hard to surround herself with a village with other strong and amazing women?
On being young and scared
When I was young I was scared of everything. I don’t know if it was being the youngest child with an older brother who liked to pick on me or watching America’s Most Wanted (John Walsh gave me nightmares for years) but I was afraid of a lot. I grew up with a speech impediment and so I was always on guard. Over time I became not only scared of how I said things but of what I said. I spent my life trying to be who I thought people wanted me to be. I was most afraid of being myself.
I learned early on how to play a role. With friends and even with family I wasn’t fully me, I worked hard to be who I thought they needed or who they wanted me to be.
I learned pretty early on how to manipulate a false connection. I’m not proud, but it’s true. I let people see sides of me, maybe a dramatic side, maybe a loving side, maybe an intellectual side, maybe sometimes a mean side but never authentic me. I sat in fear that that they might figure me out and judge me or worse, hate me.
As a young woman I held my tongue and told myself that it was a good thing. That if I didn’t say certain things I was being strong and picking my battles – but really I was just holding myself in because I was scared.
I was scared of being wrong, scared of being judged, and sometimes even scared of being right.
The only person who I was completely myself around was my mother. I honestly wanted to meet and exceed any goals she had for me but not because I felt pressured. She was the source of love and strength for me. If I have any goals for myself as a mother it is to make my children feel as comfortable with me as I have always felt with her.
On growing up and finding authenticity
During my senior year of college I went to Austin to find a job.
I wanted to move and get clean break from everyone. I had lived by myself once in college (and even though it was a bad part of town and I almost froze to death) it was exhilarating and I couldn’t wait to do it again.
After I landed in Austin, I had coffee with a guy and I tried my basic first date formula, i.e. ask questions all about them, but it failed. He was the first person who saw through all my bullshit and asked me questions that really made me search for honest answers and then challenged me to defend my answers. So, I decided to try something radically different – I tried to be authentic. I spent time on my own and got to really know myself. And while not everyone was happy with the new me, I was able to form some of the most genuine friendships of my life.
Being authentic was definitely harder than I thought. There were still people in my life that I was terrified would judge me. There were people I loved -- and I really wanted to be who they wanted me to be – but it never quite worked. It is so difficult to reflect on whether the choices you have made are your own or someone else’s expectation of you. It is even harder to accept that the choices weren’t yours and aren’t something you wanted or are particularly happy with. The reality is that when you find courage to challenge the people in your life to get to know the authentic you, you can’t control the outcome.
I was heartbroken over some outcomes and relieved at others but either way my fear melted away and I emerged stronger.
On continuing to evolve
I have discovered the truth in the proverb that change is the only constant. In the last decade, everything about me has changed.
And as I grew so did my drive, my empathy, my capacity to love, and my self-will. I give as many chances as people need. I accept and still love those who don’t like me or still see me as the person I once was. I don’t judge, I embrace. I do everything I can to empower other women. I have friends who don’t agree with me on everything and yet we engage in respectful conversation and I adore them. I cherish my family. I make sure every day that my children and husband are loved and appreciated. I don’t hold my tongue, but I listen humbly.
Ladies, if you don’t have the courage to let your voice be heard and become strong enough to speak for yourself then you’ll never be heard. If you don’t love enough to listen, then nothing can ever be fixed.
If I could leave you with one discovery, it would be --
I have become strong not because I let someone in, but because I learned to let myself out.
And that same power, is waiting for you. -Kim
Essay by: Kim Pena
Don't you love Kim's story of how she moved from fear to power?! I was definitely inspired!
For more of Kim and to say Hello :) , head on over to:
The Hill Country Woman / FB/TheHillCountryWoman / Insta-TheHillCountryWoman
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Como Mamas
Originally published on 10-23-13
Sometime in mid-March, I was working at ACL and SXSW acts were rolling through the venue. The ticket for this particular night read, Soul Review. I thought, “Cool. I like soul music.” And I had a glimmer of hope that Justin Timberlake would swing by.
At 8pm when the house lights went down the venue only had about 100 people in it. It was a meager start to the night as the venue fits about 2700 music lovers. As I surveyed the crowd I thought, “Maybe Prince is playing down the street or something.”
I scanned the acts on the ticket and since I hadn’t heard of any of them, I didn’t pay much attention. As ACL spans four floors I spent a lot of my time running around chatting and checking with staff on each floor. As I was running around my boss, Tom asked “Have you been inside the venue yet? You’re going to love the act on stage.” As soon as I found a good breaking point I made my way inside the venue and was immediately blown away.
The room was dark and cold and filled with the unforgettable voices of The Como Mamas. As I surveyed the stage I thought, “Only three ladies, no instruments?” I had heard similar sounds from movie soundtracks before, but never in person. The group is made up of three lifelong Gospel singers from the small town of Como, Mississippi, and they were magnificent. Their voices cut straight through the fluff and went directly to my bones. Their voices were gripping. I was mesmerized. I inched my way toward the front of the stage and got lost in their voices. I took photos and videos but nothing compared to the real thing.
When their set was over and the crowd of what was now 200 people had finished applauding, I decided to make good use of my all access pass and go backstage to tell them how awesome they were.
I walked straight up to my favorite of the three singers, Ms. Ester Mae, and I introduced myself. “Hello, my name is Catia and I work here. I just wanted to tell you how powerful and impactful your performance was. Listening to your voices is very moving. Good luck with…” I thought it was be a quick congratulations and I’d be on my way. But before I turned away she grabbed my hands in hers.
We were outside her dressing room and folks were hurriedly working getting ready for the next band, but somehow all that faded away and I felt connected. I didn’t yet know what she was going to say, but I knew that I was going to pay attention.
My small soft hands sat in her encompassing rough hands. Her hands felt like they had been productive for decades. She was tall and was of bigger build and dressed in her Sunday best. Her long corn rows were pulled back in a ponytail and she was smiling so big I could see her gold capped teeth. No one would have questioned her being backstage but she was wearing her artist badge proudly.
Once my hands were in hers and our eyes locked she said, “Thank you so much for that. You know, I’m 62. They came into my church and discovered me 4 years ago. All my life I’ve been singing in the church, for the church and just now, my dreams are coming true. Tomorrow, they are taking me on a plane to New Orleans!” She was beaming. Ms. Ester continued, “I’ve been praying my whole life to God. You just keep working hard for what you want. Don’t lose faith in yourself or in God. When you’re ready, your dreams will find their way to you. Don’t be afraid of hard work.”
I was blown away by her words of wisdom. I knew that this was not an ordinary occurrence.
Ms. Ester definitely looked like she could cook a southern meal and give a great hug. And since we weren’t near a kitchen, I asked if I could give her a hug and she agreed. It was such a mama bear hug. I could feel her love even though she didn’t know me from Adam.
Did she know Guapo and I were about to hit a rocky patch? Did she know I was going to jump into writing full time? Did she know that I was training for a marathon? Did she know I was working two jobs and was really tired? There were so many balls in the air; I had no clue how life was going to be come May. How did she know I would need to hear her words? She didn’t, but God did.
God sent her to me to say, “Keep your head down, work hard and don’t lose faith.” The words, “I’m 62 and I’m just walking into my dream,” pop into my thoughts when I get impatient.
There are signs all around and they come to us in different packages. The universe is constantly talking to us, guiding us along. However, the signs from the universe won’t always be obvious, most times, they’ll be subtle. We have to be open and aware enough to receive them. We have to have open hearts, open minds and be quiet enough within ourselves to notice the messages.
If we are constantly numbing ourselves out with food, alcohol or even activity we will have a hard time reading the signs along the way, if we see them at all. James Earl Jones is not going to show up at our doors telling us what our next move should be, neither is the Wizard of Oz.
Some days a door will open and a door will close and that’s as much change that will happen. Some days there may be a road block along the way redirecting us, and some days the universe may send us Ms. Ester. Most times the signs are so small that we may not even give them any significance, but they are there. Pay attention.
Justin Timberlake was a no show that night, but I got something much better, a hug from Ms. Ester and a message from God.
Ms. Ester, may you continue to touch people’s souls the way you touched mine.
