The Courage to Become | Takisha Shelby
My name is Takisha Shelby, I was born and raised in Lubbock, Texas. The Lord blessed me to see 41 years this past 3rd of February. I'm very thankful for that.
Looking back over my life, I can see how the Lord has played a role in it the whole time. I have been through a lot my 41years living on this earth, but I give all the glory to none other than that man above my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
My story of becoming begins about 15 years ago, I was about 26 years old working two jobs. My full-time job at Lubbock Independent School District as a Special Education Teaching Assistant and my part-time job as a Food service worker. I was no stranger to hard work back then and still not to this day.
It was the weekend after working my full-time job I was at my part-time job. I had been dealing with a headache the whole day I thought it was a sinus headache. I had also gotten suspended the rest of the weekend from my part-time job because of some attitude issues I was having.
Only to find out it was all due to what was going on with me physically and medically.
I was supposed to go out that night but didn't due to my headache. I ate me something, thinking that would help but it didn't so I took me some allergy medicine, decided against going out and went to bed. I was awakened in the early morning hours by a bad headache. My head was hurting me so bad to the point I was crying.
The guy I was seeing at the time told my mom he was going to take me to the hospital, which he did. At the hospital, after running some tests and waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the doctors came out and told us what was going on.
By this time my mom had come up there, the doctors had told us that I had a tumor on my brain, in fact; I have several tumors on my brain(looking like little snowflakes all over my brain) but the one they were worried about was the one which was blocking the plumbing and was causing me to have the headache.
The doctor said that it was unusual because it had fluid around it, they would have to admit me into the hospital, go in and put tubes in my head to drain the fluid from my brain before they would be able to do the actual brain surgery to remove the actual tumor causing the problem.
So now, I'm about to be admitted into the hospital because the situation is serious.
They put the tubes in my head so that the fluid could be drained off my brain. A few days later they did the actual brain surgery. The surgery was supposed to take about 17 hours but ended up taking about 11 hours, but God.
Thinking back to that time, I know that the Lord was with me, because after the surgery I was able to see my mama for a few minutes and once I saw her although they had given me medication to sedate me I knew she was there and I was pretty much aware of everything going on around me.
I remember her telling me that she couldn't stay long, and she would see me later.
When she told me that I wasn't trying to let her go, they ended up asking her to leave so I could get some rest, giving me more medication so I could get me some rest.
About a week and a half later, I was out of the hospital on my way to recovery.
I can honestly say that if it wasn't for God bringing through that situation I wouldn't be here right to this day. I feel this more so now at this point in my life than I ever did before. It was by God's grace and mercy that I didn't have to have any therapy only a little speech therapy.
After the surgery because the area where it had occurred was affected, I wasn't able to form complete thoughts; leading us up to that point. After all that had taken place, look at God! Until now I never in a million years would have thought I would be where I am.
This was the beginning of my spiritual journey. I thank God daily that He has blessed me to see another day up to this point. I have always stood on His Word, in Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, which is my motto; and the basis of my faith.
It took me a while to move on after the surgery, thanks be to God!
It was only the summer that I was out of work, I was able to return to work at Lubbock Independent School District after that. Praise God!
If there was any advice I had to give to anyone going through this or someone who have gone through anything like this, it would be to hold on to your faith. Pray, pray, and if it still feels hopeless pray some more.
If there is one thing that I have learned throughout this whole experience it is this: Prayer changes things. I know that, without any doubt in my mind.
Just as I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me your readers too can do all things through Christ who strengthens them.
Essay by: Takisha Shelby
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Newsletter
The Courage to Become | Jill Faulkner
“Listening to your heart is not simple. Finding out who you are is not simple. It takes a lot of hard work and courage to get to know who you are and what you want. - Sue Bender”
Working on myself is the hardest work I have done to date, and the most worthwhile. But seriously, the hardest. Embarking on the journey of changing who I was at my core, which was really un-becoming my current self to get back to who I was meant to be, started a long time ago, and will continue until I die. Perhaps morbid, but also true. Self-work, like change, is constant. And YOU are the constant in your life. Realizing that this person (me) is all I have, and all I need, fueled my desire to live my best life. This is not to say that I do not have family and friends and support, or want all of those relationships in my life, but I control my happiness, I create my life.
As I have shifted my thinking, and perspective, I hope to encourage people to do the same. I want people to shift how they think. How they think about themselves, their lives, others, and the world around them. The shift is so magical. Daunting, and challenging, but the results are awesome. I wouldn’t be here, right now, in this moment, even writing this, had I not buckled in for the ride of a lifetime. Pursuing a life I desire. Becoming more of who I am meant to be. Stepping into a life destined to be mine.
There will always be ups and downs, which is how I got here, and maybe that’s how you got here, too. My life, and my business, Stick With It Co., were born out of a need to remind myself of how I was worthy of living the life I wanted. I needed to evolve my mindset, and my framework, and love myself so fiercely that no matter what outside forces swirled around me I stayed solid and steady. I craved the tools and sought out resources - so, countless books, YouTube videos, meditations, mantras, workshops, yoga classes, sticky-notes, therapy, and a whole lotta Oprah later, here we are.
Picture it, Austin, TX, 2015. Word of the year: Freedom. I don’t know how it came to me, or where I was, but it was my word for the year. I didn’t know at the time what I was looking for freedom from, or seeking freedom toward, but it was my word. Looking back, I also don’t know whether or not I consciously made decisions that year with “freedom” as my guide, or if it seeped into my subconscious and led the way without me realizing it. Cut to March of 2015, new job. Freedom? Cut to November 2015, fired. FREEDOM. Being let go was not a “blessing in disguise” - it was a straight up, in your face, here’s your freedom, girl. Now, what are you gonna do with it? It took almost the whole year, but here was freedom staring me in the face. I was free. Free from stress, emotionally free, and free to tap into what I really wanted to do. I was able to let go. And it was okay. I was okay. I knew it would be okay. All the stickies I had on my bathroom mirror, and kitchen cabinets got me here. In life, things are never in our desired timing, we have to give that up, let go of timing, and trust in the process.
I now had time to think about my life in a bigger way. It felt great. I also acknowledge and hold extreme gratitude for the fact that I was in a position to be able to take two weeks to just be, and figure some stuff out. In that time, I started iterating on a product, and names, and ideas, and all of the things. How could I get the concept of affirmations, and self-love to the masses? So, I just got started. Handwriting 50 different affirmations on sticky notes. Packaging them up, changing the packaging, and giving them away - to friends, family, strangers. The reactions were always positive and encouraging, which emboldened me to keep at it.
Original set of affirmations
At the beginning of December (2015) a job opportunity sort of fell into my lap, and well, mama needed a paycheck, so back to work I went. Continuing to pursue Stick With It Co. on the side worked out for some time, but I wanted more. So, about a year later, I quit my job. Scary, freeing, vomit-inducing, glorious, unknown, and wonderful all at the same time. I wanted to give this business the love and focus it deserved, but it wasn’t even ever about me. It’s about you. This business is happening through me, for greater purpose.
There is a need for people to see the power of their words and statements. Especially in the world within which we exist today. We must be intentional with our words, especially the words we speak about ourselves and our lives.
Self-love, self-approval, self-accountability, self-compassion, and self-respect will generate a solid connection with yourself, allowing connections with others, driving you forward with courage, while welcoming authenticity, resilience, and support into your life.
There’s been a lot of change recently for me. Picking up some event contract work, not working on the business as intensely as I was planning to, general life happenings - you know how it goes. Physical/locational changes, and you better believe emotional - ALL the emotions. Changing, learning, experiencing, letting go, surrendering, and forging ahead.
When all these things happen on their own, I imagine life might be a bit less stressful to handle. Throw all these sizable changes into a ring together, at the same time, and they’re ducking and weaving, and throwing punches you’re not always ready for - then it can be quite the ruckus. But, change is good. Change is needed. Change is like sandpaper - rough while it’s doing its life’s work, transforming and addressing some splinters, but on the other side you’re grateful to have gone through the pain to get to a better, smoother, less splintery place.
I’m not sure I got too off the mark with the sandpaper bit, but it just popped in my brain and I went with it. The point is, change can be painful. It hurts. Sometimes you don’t know why it’s happening, and sometimes you never find out why it did, but you have to trust it’s for the greater purpose for your life. All the changes are for reason. Maybe that reason is you just learn to love yourself a little more than the day before.
I believe the desire for human connection, with ourselves, and with others, is innate, and if we work to push aside the societally driven, culturally manipulated “things” that get in the way of connecting, we are on our way to living an authentic, and purposeful life. Being an open book, sharing my journey, sometimes whether or not you asked, and sometimes a little TMI, has proven time and again that we are such similar creatures and have so much to offer each other. Through connection, we not only discover the lives and journeys of others, we also learn a lot about ourselves.
I have certainly had my moments, and sometimes 24-seemingly infinity hours, of living in fear in which I am paralyzed, and therefore lack direction, and action. In those days I forgive myself, I acknowledge and thank fear for letting me know something I didn’t know before, and I work to find my way back to faith.
I consciously make a choice to live in faith. I have faith in the process of becoming, and unbecoming who I am, figuring out my purpose and place in this world, pursuing a life I am meant to live, feeling all of my feelings, and enjoying it all.
Stick With It to BE self-love, Stick With it to RELEASE fear, Stick With It to BE whoever, and whatever your heart desires. Stick With It to allow yourself to live your best life. Stick With It in order to un-become who you were to make space for change and embark on a journey of becoming that will astound you.
A customer from England sent an incredible letter, card, and polaroid photos of where she placed her affirmations in her home!
Essay by: Jill Faulkner
These days you can find Jill at: Stick With It Co // Instagram // Facebook
Hi there!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I wrote a book - The Courage to Become, I speak - TEDx #choosejoyordie, I coach, I mentor) are hope, joy and empowerment. I am all about big picture health and wellness.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
The Courage to Become Book
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Jessica Rockowitz Fielder
My name is Jessica Rockowitz, and I’m a mom of three – Hayley (13), Colin (4), and Graham (2). When people first meet me, I usually have one or both of my boys in tow. They’ll often ask if I have other children – I’ve admittedly grown fond of the looks on their faces depicting sheer shock and sometimes horror when I inform them that I also have a teenager.
“But you look far too young to have a teenager!” they exclaim, taken aback. I smile and nod, now accustomed to this song and dance – and so my story begins.
My path to motherhood was one that I unexpectedly embarked upon at the ripe age of 17. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. As a straight A student with dreams of an Ivy League school and a career in medicine, I was supposed to spend my junior year of high school studying for the SATs and flipping through college guide books – not scrambling for extra money so I could scour eBay listings for gently used baby items because I could barely afford to put gas in my car.
When I was about six months pregnant, my mom told me about a young parent program that her friend had heard about on the radio. The program was through a traditional four-year college that had about six spots for young, unmarried parents to live on campus with their children. The program also included room and board, a meal plan, and childcare for a very discounted rate. There was a catch, though – the program was located across the country from my mom and sister, who were a big part of my support system at the time. I was afraid that I’d be unable to raise my daughter without them, but I also knew this was our best shot at the life I envisioned for us. As silly as it sounds, I had dreams of a house with a playscape, Disney World vacations, and overnight camp. When Hayley was just shy of nine months old, I loaded her and our giant suitcase onto the plane to embark on what would be a truly life changing journey for us.
I wish I could detail everything that happened during those years at college, but that would be a novel in and of itself. I graduated college with a 3.9 and a BS degree in Biotechnology, accepting a research position at Harvard University for that coming fall. My daughter was almost six at the time and truly thriving, and I was getting married that winter.
I remember that the week I graduated college, I cut my Food Stamps card into tiny pieces, so proud that I would be able to stand on my own two feet. We signed the lease on a gorgeous apartment right outside of Boston in a safe, beautiful school district. We were financially and emotionally thriving – life was good, and we were happy.
Despite this, something gnawed at me and continuously stirred this feeling in my heart that I was unfulfilled. I beat myself up about this on a regular basis. What was wrong with me? Why wasn’t I satisfied with this beautiful life that I had worked so hard to create? I was always taught that the path to success looked something like this: attend the best college you can get into, land a great job, and work hard to climb up the career ladder. This was the linear path that I was on, so why was I so unhappy? I loved working with people and making a difference in their lives. In my current research position, this component of my passion was really lacking. On top of my work, I had been mentoring other teen parents and young moms for years, and it was a huge passion of mine. I told my husband that I wanted to go back to school to be an OB/GYN physician and work with young moms to educate and empower them. Life had other plans, though, and I decided to switch my career path from medicine to nursing in order to have a more flexible lifestyle because we wanted to grow our family.
Like always, I did my due diligence. I researched the best programs in the United States because just as my family had taught me, I wanted to strive for the best. I was accepted into and attended an Ivy League BSN/MSN Nursing Program. I was so proud of myself for getting in and worked hard to graduate and land what was my dream job at a low income OB/GYN clinic in downtown Philadelphia. I absolutely loved my patients. I was now a mom of two, and the working mom juggle was real. Still, I felt like I had reached an important milestone in my career and figured that the journey could only go up from here.
After a few months, that familiar feeling began to gnaw at me again as something stirred inside me and whispered, you’re not happy here. I found myself in tears on a daily basis and having a tough time getting out of bed each morning. I loved my job and my patients, but I couldn’t shake this perpetual feeling that something wasn’t right. What was wrong with me? I began to think that I was lazy and broken, and I just couldn’t figure out why I was feeling this pull to be away from what I had once again worked so hard to achieve.
While I was working in Philadelphia, I had also begun to dabble in the world of freelance writing. I signed up for a platform where I could find paying clients and began to take a deep dive into this space. I landed my first client for essentially pennies but was so thrilled that someone was paying me to write! I had always dreamt of being a writer and getting into marketing, but I was told that the world didn’t need more of us. It wasn’t lucrative or secure, and after all, I had a child to raise. Everyone persuaded me in the direction of stability, which equated to science and medicine. This was a huge reason why I had embarked on the path that I was on.
Now expecting our third (and last!) child together, my husband and I sat down one night when the kids were asleep. To this day, he still knows my heart more than anyone else in the world and is truly my best friend. He sensed that I felt the calling to not only be home for both of our kids, but to see where this career in writing could take me. I made the terrifying decision to leave the nursing profession that summer, when I was about 2 months pregnant with my now 2 year old. I never looked back, and so began my journey into the world of entrepreneurship.
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As an adult and business owner who is constantly evolving and fine tuning my craft, I didn’t know what it meant to be an entrepreneur. From a young age, I was taught to work hard, go to college, and get a good paying job. There was no other path to success in life. It was no surprise that I felt completely broken when I didn’t fit that mold. I’d land amazing job after amazing job, only to feel empty several months into it, all passion and spark completely gone. I began to feel ashamed, and it took a huge toll on my self worth.
Now that I’m an adult, I realize all my feelings and emotions were due to the fact that quite simply, I was never meant to work for someone else. Knowing what I know now, I truly think sometimes that we are born as entrepreneurs but depending on the environment we grow up in, we don’t ever get the opportunity to realize it. Did you know that many intelligent, hard working entrepreneurs make some of the worst employees? We are the ones who have trouble with things like following authority and staying on task. I spent so much of my adult life believing that something was wrong with me, when really, I just wasn’t on the right path for me.
The most ironic part of this is that I work harder now for myself and my clients than I have in my entire life. I work more hours per week than my husband, and I love every crazy minute of it. This is what I was meant to do, but nobody had ever opened my eyes to the fact that there is an alternative to the traditional mindset of college and the corporate world.
I had always dreamt of being a writer and working in advertising and marketing, but I didn’t know what that looked like. When I left nursing, it was almost like the finality of the decision weighed heavily on my shoulders. I had just worked so hard and had gone into deep student debt for a degree I didn’t love. What did that say about me as a person? Where would I go from here?
Many people ask me how I got started in marketing since I don’t have a background in it. I was a marketing minor in college, but everything I learned then is obsolete now because of the rise of social media and digital marketing. The foundation remains the same, but the logistics are so different. When I first began freelance writing, a small start-up reached out to me and asked me to run their social media. Their premise was a safe, COPPA compliant social network for children. They offered me the position because in their words, “I was a good writer and also a mom, so I knew their audience.” Thinking that it could be a great opportunity, I took it. This was the tiny stepping stone that I needed to open bigger and better doors for myself. I was in the right place at the right time, and though the start-up ultimately failed, I then moved on to bigger and better clients who taught me even more about the incredible world of content strategy and social media marketing.
Today, I have my own digital media agency and work with clients that I love and admire. I have also recently gotten into photography and launched my own photography business that I think really compliments my agency and has sparked this newfound passion that I never knew existed. I’m so excited to see where it takes me.
I dedicate at least one hour per day to education, where I listen to podcasts, read articles, and improve my overall knowledge so I can best serve my clients and continue to grow. I have huge plans for my future and where I envision myself. Sometimes I find myself daydreaming about it, and it takes me back to those days where I thought that the only correct path in life was to choose a career from a handbook and spend your life inside that box. There’s nothing wrong with this, of course. As one of my close friends once told me, she watched her father own his own business and never have any boundaries, so she knew she wanted a position that she could walk away from at 5PM. There is so much happiness on both sides – it’s just about finding which side speaks to you, your passions, and your priorities.
Being a former teen parent, this transformation into who I am as a business owner and entrepreneur goes hand-in-hand with my transformation as a mother. I was so young when I had my daughter, and motherhood was not something I was welcomed into with open arms by those around me. In a way, I felt like I didn’t have permission to be happy and fulfilled in this role. I was supposed to struggle. It was supposed to be difficult. It wasn’t until I gave myself permission to be who I was – to leave a job that I had worked hard for, to have my second and third children – that I had the courage to really become the career woman and mom that I always felt I was meant to be, on my own terms.
I’m motivated each and every day by my family and by my desire to bring something unique and different to the world. I thrive on watching business owners reach their goals and fulfill their dreams. Being the one to help them get there is the most incredible and rewarding feeling that is almost indescribable. I no longer dread Mondays. In fact, I welcome them each week as I dive into my day’s work, able to drop it at a moment’s notice for a sick child or a school function. This is the life I dreamt of – and I’m living it.
I can’t sit here and pretend that it’s perfect, of course. I always joke that I have the best and worst of both worlds. It’s very true that I don’t have any boundaries. I work in early morning hours, late night hours, and on weekends. I work at nap time, bed time, and am guilty of using PBS Kids for a last minute sitter. Still, though, I wouldn’t change a thing. I have built this incredible lifestyle for myself, and I am so excited to see what’s next.
Here’s one thing I want young women everywhere to know –
there is no distinct path to success and happiness. It’s ok to be unsure about your future and what fuels you, even as an adult. It’s ok to feel fulfilled being a stay-at-home-mom, or not feel fulfilled as a stay-at-home-mom and know that you’re a better mom for your family when you work.
The path to joy is not linear, and you are not the victim of your own life.
If you want something, go out there and get it. There is enough for everyone, and don’t let any woman or person tear you down or talk you out of your dreams. Big risks can mean big failures, yes, but also big rewards – and is it ever a failure if we’re learning from it?
Essay by: Jessica Rockowitz Fielder
You can get in touch with Jessica here:
Jessica Rockowitz Photography Media Agency Facebook Instagram
Jessica captured this moment for us, and I love it!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Aseky Bonnaire
“Everything happens for a reason”-says everyone when something unfortunate or inconvenient happens.
My name Is Aseky Bonnaire and I live for that quote. I’m a millennial mom raising three boys in Sunny Orlando Florida. I’m married to my high school sweet heart, and childhood crush. I like to think I have it all figured out, but I don’t, nor will I ever, but let a girl think she does haha. I guess I should go into depth more about myself. I met my husband when I was 11 years old and had THE biggest crush on him. We started dating when I was 15 and he was 16. We dated from sophomore year all throughout High School. We did homecoming dances, prom, graduation, the whole 9 yards.
After high school we both went to the local State College. After the first semester flew by, I decided, I love this college thing and I don’t want a baby to interrupt anything. I went to my OB to get a script for birth control, and that’s where I found out I was pregnant. Literally at that moment, it felt like my entire world caved in on me. I was just going to be another teen mom. I was going to live a hard life, I was never going to be able to be on my own 2 feet, and I would have to rely on my mom forever. After our family found out and all the initial shock went away, we actually got really excited to be bringing in a life into this world. Renaldo Jr (RJ) was brought into this world October 23, 2012. We were young, and didn’t know what the heck we were doing, but we knew we had each other and we wanted the best life possible for him. Throughout my entire pregnancy I stayed in school, and even a week after delivering I was going in to take mandatory tests. Renaldo (my boyfriend at the time, now husband) landed a good job, making decent money (for a 20 year old) in customer service (he still works there BTW).
We moved out of my Mom’s house when RJ was 7 months old. We moved into a townhouse 100% on our own. We saved up as much as we could from Renaldo working 5 days a week, 50+ hours, all while I was in school full time. We felt like ‘we made it’. I don’t know if you remember how it felt when you first moved out on your own, whether it was college, or when you got married, but it’s an indescribable feeling. Shortly after moving I got my first “big girl” job at the hospital working in finance. Because of that job, I took a break on school, but also because of that job, we could afford more things outside of bills. When RJ was 11 months old, Renaldo bought me an engagement ring and asked me to be his wife. For the next 12 months we planned our dream wedding, I switched departments at work so I could be home more, bought our first brand new car and went on a bachelorette/ bachelor cruise. Our wedding came and it wasn’t short of perfect. All of our childhood best friends were there, and it was just a great time with great people.
Shortly after our honeymoon we got pregnant with our 2nd son. My husband got promoted (this was his 4th promotion within the 3 years) but It was that pregnancy that I found my love for blogging, and connecting with other women via Instagram. That’s when I discovered the power of a hashtag LOL! Good pregnancy overall. He was born June 17, 2015. We brought him home to our little 2 bedroom townhouse. We knew we wanted to move into something bigger, but never thought we would be able to buy a house. Come on, we were only 22/23 years old. While on maternity leave, I got bored and saw an ad that went something like “you can have a mortgage as low as your rent!” so I called that number, one thing lead to another, obstacle after obstacle, few months went by, and we became homeowners. Shortly after becoming homeowners, I got pregnant with our third (totally not planned, I was breastfeeding. So FYI Breastfeeding IS NOT BIRTHCONTROL. It doesn’t work. Joel is proof haha) but he’s such a blessing and the perfect addition to our family. We literally brought him into the world in that home (no, seriously, I delivered him at home with no one but my husband and kids present). And now we are currently renovating the house from the floor up.
Not only were we home owners, we became homeowners at 22 and 23 year olds, with 2 kids, in the city where we both grew up, completely on our own, and not living up to the stereotype people categorized us in. There is such a negative stigma with being a teen mom. People automatically assume you’re going to live a hard and tough life. While YES, it was hard having a kid at 19, yes there were times we had no clue how we were going to put gas until the next paycheck, but did it stop us, NO! I feel that so many young moms and teen moms automatically categorize themselves and determine their future before they even give themselves a shot at anything.
Having a super supportive (emotionally and financially) partner plays a HUGE role in all of this. Renaldo and I are a team. We’re in this together. We grew up and matured together, and at the same pace, so we were always on the same page when it came to goals that we wanted to achieve. Buying a house is definitely not my ‘I made it’ moment, nor will it come from anything materialistic.
My ‘I made it’ moment came in motherhood. Because RJ, my husband worked for that amazing job he has. Because of RJ, I found my purpose. I know that being home with my kids is where my heart found a home. When I had no friends (because all my friends are normal, and have kids at a regular age) I found comfort in the community of the women of the blogging, and social media world. Making connections with other moms from all walks of life, different backgrounds, all ages, is where I found my niche. Blogging and sharing my life with other teen moms is where I found sense of belonging.
It’s amazing when something is for you, it just falls into place. When I told my husband I wanted to get back into blogging, literally opportunity after opportunity rolled in. It’s like God patted me on my back, placed the right words in my heart, and whispered, “This is for you. Share your life, share your experiences, be a light where someone is in darkness. You got this boo!”.
I know this was a lot to read, but a girl got a lot to share! I’m so thankful for crossing paths with Catia, and being able to share my story with you all! Thanks for reading and remember; whether you’re a teen mom or not, everything happens for a reason. What may feel like the end of the world is potentially a blessing in disguise.
I call this, Becoming: Not another stereotyped teen mom.
Be sure to keep up with Aseky on her web site, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Emily B. Cummins
Four years ago, I decided to put permanent ink on my body. What I didn’t know back in 2012 was that those eight little letters inscribed on my wrist would become the anthem of my life and spark something remarkable in those around me as well.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted everything to be perfect. My hair just right. My childhood ballet routines beautifully performed down to the last move. My high school backstroke technique flawless. Perfect A+ grades, never missing an assignment, not even thinking twice about getting a detention. Getting into the right colleges. Choosing the right career. Finding the perfect guy. Making the best of friends. Showing the world I’ve got it.
You know, that it factor that everyone seems to want.
But, in tear filled frustration, I always seem to come up short in comparison to the world’s standards.
Not pretty enough. Not the star swimmer on the high school swim team. Not the valedictorian of my class. No handsome stud on my side. No group of BFFs I share all of my deepest, darkest secrets with. It’s like perfection just wouldn’t come—no matter how hard I tried.
And that’s when it hit me.
I will never be perfect. I wasn’t created to reach perfection.
God created me exactly as He wants me to be—and in His eyes, I am perfectly made. Psalm 139 confirms that. He created me to love and embrace this grand adventure called life; the problem was—and is—that when I was striving so hard to reach what I deemed as “perfection,” I couldn’t truly live.
The words of Deuteronomy 30:11-14 are empowering me with the truth that I CAN do what God commands me to do. I don’t need to have anyone else explain it to me, teach it to me, or tell me to do it. Obeying God is up to me. I just have to do it, I just have to choose to be who God made me to be. Following verse 14, God lays out some life altering, eye-opening words that can’t help but grip me:
“Look at what I’ve done for you today: I’ve placed in front of you Life and Good, Death and Evil. And I command you today: Love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments, regulations, and rules so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God, your God, in the land you are about to enter and possess.”
(Deuteronomy 30:15-16, the Message)
Live exuberantly. Really live.
I want that. I want to live free of the distractions of wanting to win popularity contests. Free from fighting so hard to be perfect. Free from avoiding messy, real, authentic relationships. Free from being so afraid of getting hurt. Free from trying to avoid failure so intensely. Free from striving to win the approval of others. Free from the icy grip of shame. Free. Free to LIVE.
Each of us are on a journey. Our stories are being written day by day and I believe our stories have the potential to really do something, to change the world. But only if we let them.
It really boils down to one thing: who will I trust to write my story? Me or God?
Perfection screams, “Choose me! Choose me! Only I can control how everything turns out.” But the kind of living Deuteronomy 30 shares whispers the truth, “Choose God. He IS life. If you choose Him, you choose life.” When I choose to open my hands and release my grip on false control, I’m no longer striving to “do” anything; I’m simply “being” in His presence, trusting Him to “do” for me that which only He can do.
I am becoming, becoming who God made me to be.
Each day a page of my story is being written into the threads of time and being woven into the very fabric of who I am. As I stand looking at the pages before me, I’m making a daily decision to choose to embrace this grand adventure called life and to trust the God who created me in the first place to continue to write the story of Emily. I am choosing to be her.
One of my favorite quotes from Shauna Niequist explains it this way: “This season is about becoming…walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe God is good & life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.” (Shauna Niequest, Bittersweet)
And that is why I chose to have “becoming” tattooed to my wrist. Every single time I look at my left hand, I’m reminded that life is a grand adventure. I’m reminded that the pursuit of perfection isn’t what God created me for. I’m reminded that I am made perfectly in Christ. I’m reminded to trust Him to write my story. I’m reminded to live exuberantly. But, most importantly, I’m reminded to embrace becoming me.
And from where I stand today in 2017, this idea of “becoming” is permeating everything I do and has sparked a movement of women around the world through BecomingMe.TV.
It’s embedded in my writing, ingrained in my thoughts, and interwoven in my conversations with those around me. It’s taken root in the reason why I get out of bed every morning and the hope I hang on to when the rain clouds come. Its my passion, my heart’s cry, my word.
I see women around me becoming who God made them to be too. I see them courageously battling life’s struggles and risking loving people who just might not love them back. I see them trying, setting aside the fear of failure and running towards incredible victory. I see life change. I see redemption. I see courage. I see becoming.
My battle cry is to invite women on the personal and courageous journey of becoming who God made them to be. That’s why I turn off my alarm clock and get out of bed each morning. That’s why I write. That’s why I dream. That’s why BecomingMe.TV exists, partnering with women as they’re becoming who God made them to be too through Blog Series, Becoming Stories, and Events. In becoming me, I see those around me becoming too and can’t help but be inspired and encouraged on the journey.
This journey isn’t just mine. We are all becoming and I want to invite you to join me. It’s time we lace up our boots, throw fear and perfection into the wind and live fully. Let’s be who God made us to be. Together, let’s become.
Essay by: Emily B. Cummins
Guys, don't you want to go see Emily in person? ME TOO!!!!!! She is doing big, huge things to remind us that we are loved just as we are and that we were made perfectly. God didn't overlook qualities when he knitted us together - we have all that we need to live our lives well, richly and full of love and purpose. Thank you, Emily!!!!!
Emily’s Instagram: Emily’s Twitter: Emily’s Facebook:
BecomingMe.TV Website: BecomingMe.TV Instagram: BecomingMe.TV Twitter: BecomingMe.TV Facebook:
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Angela Lally
Tonight we are so happy to be featuring Angela Lally. She shares a wonderful, uplifting word. I know her trust in the Lord will inspire you!
What was your first job?
My first job after college (well, after working at a summer camp!) was in Communications and Public Relations.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
What I'm doing now! Haha But really, ever since I discovered I had a natural knack for photography in high school, I dreamed of somehow doing it full time, but I always thought that it wasn't possible for me to actually make a living doing just photography. Thankfully, the Lord had bigger plans for this talent He's given me and lined up numerous circumstances and opportunities to lead me to where I am today: Two years of running my photography business full time!
How did it feel getting started?
A bit nerve-wracking, freeing, and exciting, all at once! I knew this was where the Lord was leading me, so I was comfortable with the "uncomfortableness" of it and from the beginning trusted my business to Him. Ultimately, I know that despite any efforts I make on my own, any accomplishments, all the hours put into it, it is all His. He is the one that gives and provides, and I am so thankful that He's continued to do so in a way that allows me the gift of doing what I love as a career.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started.
One of the biggest obstacles I faced after figuring out that I one day wanted to quit my full time Communications job to run my business full time was being in between both of those things: Knowing that at the time I needed that job and trying to be present and fully there after knowing that it wasn't what I wanted to do forever.
I did learn through that process that when the Lord is ready for you to move on, he makes it CLEAR.
My initial plans were to go full time into photography in two years... two months later, that turned into me planning on leaving at the end of that year, which then turned into me leaving on a Friday and giving my two weeks notice on Monday. Looking back, I can recognize that a lot of that was Him getting me to the point of trusting him FULLY with providing and not depending on my savings account as a safety net. Since making the transition to full time, He has grown my business and given me favor in ways that I never would have imagined and faster than I could have hoped.
My verse for my business from day one has been Psalm 16:5: "The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot." It reminds me to trust the Lord's provision and to be satisfied with whatever He gives, however he choses to (or not to) give it.
What keeps you motivated?
I absolutely LOVE the idea of getting to capture people's genuine personalities and relationships in a photographs!! Apart from knowing the Lord, people and the relationships we have with them are the most important thing in the world. To be able to capture that in a tangible photograph is such a gift. Photographs can communicate so much more that we can say with our words and can open eyes to see things that may have otherwise been missed. I've seen senior girls recognizing that they ARE pretty for the first time after seeing an image on the back of my camera. I've captured cherished moments for clients with family members that are no longer here. I get to witness and document marriages of couples who have said the MOST important thing on their wedding day is that God is glorified. And as long as the Lord wills, I will keep capturing as many of these moments and people that I can.
Which living person do you most admire?
My mom - 100%. Throughout all of the crazy circumstances she has been through in her life, she has remained steadfast in trusting the Lord and having faith in Him to do what He has said He will and to be who He has promised He is. I don't know anyone else who has a stronger faith than she does.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I would LOVE to be able to play the piano!! I know a little bit from friends teaching me / YouTube videos here and there, but I don't actually own one... so I guess I need to fix that first! Perfect pitch would be a fun one too!
What is your most marked characteristic?
Apart from photography, I think my friends and family would say my relationship with the Lord. Or that I am friendly and "sweet." :)
What is your motto?
The past four years have been some hard ones. There have been a lot of transitions, uncertainties and circumstances that I wasn't expecting, and Lord has kept bringing me back to the first few verses of Psalm 37:
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act... Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him..."
These verses have been a "home base" for me the past few years and have helped ground me and remind me where to stay focused when I was uncertain of everything else.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Owning and running my own business for two years full time, for sure! Another one would be growing to a point where I could hire my mom to work with me.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
Only the Lord. When I get overwhelmed, stressed or anxious, it's most likely because I'm not fully trusting Him, I'm placing more value on things that ultimately aren't as important as what He has placed in front of me to care for, or for whatever reason I'm struggling with trusting where He's leading when I can't see the next step. Spending time with Him and in the Word keep me grounded.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Trust the Lord's hand at work in your life and HIS timing. Also, be faithful where He has you with what He has placed in front of you to care for. Don't try to rush ahead or just wish away the hard seasons... those are often the ones I have learned the most about His character in. It sounds cliche, but keep the main thing (Him) the main thing, and keep trusting Him with the rest -- even if it's over and over every day. He's patient with us, His plans are greater, and He will never fail.
Angela's words and trust in God are inspirational and frankly - peaceful. Her words remind me that God's got it under control and we just have to trust.
She is seriously beyond delightful and I know you'll want to follow her journey!
You can find Angela here on her web site, Angela Lally Photography and on Facebook and Instagram.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Katie Taylor
Hi, I’m Katie.
I think I may get personal with this, which is kind of unlike me. I love talking about what I do: I’m a mom, a wife, a child life specialist, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a blogger and even a podcast host. I’m actually pretty proud of myself about all these things, I worked REALLY hard for a lot of them, so I love talking about them. But, rarely, do I talk about a part of my life that was incredibly transformative:
I got divorced.
A lot of people look at me, like, YOU?! You got DIVORCED? Yep, sure did. And, to say it was a difficult part of my life is an understatement. To say it was a “valley” doesn’t go deep enough. To say it was the hardest decision I’ve ever made… well, that may be pretty accurate.
And the truth is that I will never say that I regret getting married (the first time), because as much as a cliche as it is, I learned so much about myself.
So when Catia asked me to write in her Courage to Become series, I originally thought that I’d talk about following my dream of being a child life specialist and then creating an opportunity to host a podcast, but that would be too easy. However, talking about the Courage to Become Myself, which is what I did that day in 2012 when I moved out of the home I shared with my ex-husband, is hard as hell.
I let a lot of people down when my marriage ended. Him, his family, mutual friends, my own friends who didn’t understand and wedding guests that had spent hundreds of dollars to attend my wedding across the country barely a year before. For a Type 2 Enneagram “Need to be Needed” person (I learned this in marriage counseling the first go round), letting people down KILLED me. Literally, it felt like a knife in my stomach every time the thought crossed my mind.
But, with the help of a counselor, I took a step back and looked at my relationship for what it was and what it was giving to me. It wasn’t doing much for me. So with a family behind me who supported me unconditionally, I took a step away.
Yes, I’m incredibly lucky that I had a safety net of people with their arms wrapped around me, but the truth is, what I did took courage. I stepped away from what I thought was a sure-thing, the-rest-of-my-life, secured-future and I went into the unknown.
Leaving was lonely as hell, even with a friend in the same apartment building as me. Even with a boss and friend who opened their arms and their homes and took me in the week I left. Even with a mom and dad who flew to my city to help me move, it was lonely. I cried a lot. Going to bed alone, watching House Hunters (I had always pictured how the two of us would be in a house), only pouring one cup of coffee.
But, that part was the valley for me, and the good part about the valley is that there is a peak afterward. I continued seeing a counselor, I poured myself into work, and I vowed that if I ever loved again (which I thought would never happen), I would make sure that the person I loved truly loved me for everything that I was. If he didn’t, no big deal, he just wouldn’t be right for me. As terrifying as it was to leave, I truly left stronger than I did entering that relationship.
I thought that dating would be scary, it had been so long since I had thought about someone else in a loving way. Of course it was in some ways, but in others, it wasn’t… because I was dating FOR ME. If they weren’t interested, I had nothing to lose, I had already lost it all. If they didn’t meet my expectations, no big deal, I’d just say goodbye.
I guess I just had come to the conclusion that it will only take ONE person to meet the expectations I had set for my life. Just one. My expectations were no longer “too high,” because they were mine, I determined them based on the life that I wanted. And that was incredibly freeing.
So, while I continue to go on this journey of the Courage to Become… Me, I am proud of myself for stepping into the unknown and leaving the comfortable. Because of the path I chose, I’m now on the road to living my best life, with a husband by my side who met every “high” expectation I had (with ease), with a son who brings me more joy than my heart could ever dream of, and with a career that fulfills my soul on a daily basis. Yes, there are valleys, yes there are challenges, but it seems as though treading through the dark parts has consequently brought me to the light.
Guys, Katie is full of heart. She DEFINITELY makes the world a better place.
To listen to her amazing podcast - click here. You can find, Child Life On Call, on Facebook and Instagram and iTunes of course!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Dala Thomas McDevitt
“If you can’t tolerate critics, don’t do anything new or interesting” –Jeff Bezos.
I had done everything I was supposed to. Graduated high school with honors and got into the University of Texas at Austin. Responsibly worked throughout college and maintained a 3.8 GPA. Graduated in 4 years and got a job as a Labor & Delivery Nurse. Took out a lease on a Honda Civic, and began paying off the impressive student loan debt I had accrued in my pursuit of happiness. I hated Mondays and drank on Fridays, just like everyone else.
My life was cookie-cutter perfect on the outside, but inside there was an ever-present emotion of discontent and disconnect with “who” I was. Recently out of a bad relationship and living alone for the first time in my life, there was never a better time for a fresh start. With little idea about what was going to make me happier, I decided to eat healthier and workout, as these were seemingly the societal go-to’s to “feel better”. It’s always the small things that end up being the bravest and biggest steps to self-discovery.
When I cut out the crap food, I wasn’t so tired all the time. When I cut out the alcohol, I wasn’t so hungover each morning. When I started working out, it sparked a relationship with my body that wasn’t rooted in shame and self-consciousness. As my body healed, my mind was revitalized and suddenly filled with curiosity and creativity. Now willingly rising with the sun each morning, I increased my productive time by 30% and had to seek out new hobbies. Because health had been the catalyst to this awakening, I dove deeper into the subject.
Knowledge became my mentor, my body my subject, experimentation my best friend, and, interestingly, Instagram my medium of expression. I voraciously explored audiobooks, documentaries, articles, blogs, YouTube videos, anything that helped me learn more about the mind-body connection and how to enhance it. I shared my experiences through Instagram, becoming increasingly open and public about my journey, my trails, and my errors.
My acquisition of knowledge slowly engulfed previously unreachable beliefs of self-worth, self-love, mindfulness, meditation, revolutionary ideas of sexuality, and the overwhelming realization that love is most powerful of all.
I was happier, healthier, more confident, and more positive than I had ever been in my life, so you can imagine my surprise when I began receiving more negativity from others than ever before.
I was told that my new comfortability with my body was slutty, that my fervor for health was an eating disorder, that my positive rhetoric was a guised cry for help, that my aversion to alcohol and junk food was seeded in obsessive vanity, that my new lotus tattoo was impulsive and self-destructive, and my new hair cut my Britney Spears meltdown moment. It was remarkable to see how many were threatened by my campaign to like myself.
How am I supposed to keep doing what is making me happy if my loved ones are telling me I’m in desperate need of help? Don’t they know me better than anyone? Shouldn’t I listen to them? Aren’t they just trying to help me?? The alienation I felt was profound.
As I submitted to the dark loneliness I perceived to be inevitable, I was shocked to find the loneliness was more of welcoming adventure. I was content to be alone because I, for the first time, enjoyed the company. I was okay exploring my next steps without the consultations and opinions of others because I didn’t feel I needed their approval anymore.
What a revelation! My name is Dala Thomas: I like myself, I trust myself, and I have within me the courage to become the very best and most loving woman I can be.
I used social media and devoted myself to disseminating ideas of positive body image and self-love, to the creation of meal plans and workout programs to guide others in improving health, and to online coaching so that perhaps I could help other alienated women feel safe and supported.
I began to live differently, to dress differently, to carry myself differently and to speak of myself differently as the joy I felt impregnated all facets of my life. I was bursting with affection and inspiration, and knew that I was never hurting anyone else despite what problems some took up with my new lifestyle.
I had finally learned how to share my light with the world, and it was this light that found Sean and brought him to me.
Strangers on social media became my closest allies. They did not ever know the “before” Dala, only the one they saw in front of them and therefore had no inherent aversion to my transformation. The only difference between these humans and the ones originally in my life was that they did not have to endure or understand change.
As a year came and went, I saw friends and family re-enter my life when the danger they purported disintegrated to a faint illusion. I thought accepting them again after so long would be difficult, but there was now so much peace in my life that forgiveness was second nature.
The most challenging part of my journey was finding the courage to become something other than what my closest friends and family already knew me as. People will warn you not to embark on a new journey, but only because they cannot yet see your destination, and fear is the most powerful motivator of all. Your path may go against the grain of your peers, but that not does mean it is wrong. The road to self-discovery may at times be lonely, but it is better to know yourself than to know a hundred others. Act in love, and you will never be lost.
This self-realized, joyful, life-giving women is what I had to find the courage to become. The “what” is not important here; we all can and should become thousands of different things. Courage itself is the vital ingredient, giving life to your dreams and a blind eye to doubt. Muster the courage to get to know yourself, and you will find your “what”. Then share it with the world and realize the true potential of how beautiful you can be.
Dala is partnering with Kendra Scott on September 6th. Kendra Scott is giving back %20 of proceeds to Hospitals! I will be there, Dala will be there and so will other amazing women. We'd love to see you there!
Kendra Scott - September 6th - 6-8pm - South Congress Location - Austin, Texas
If you'd like to keep up with Dala, and why wouldn't you? She is seriously so uplifting and empowering - find her on Instagram or on her web site. Side note - I am a student of her Booty Program - and IT WORKS! (Not sponsored - just genuinely enthusiastic) :)
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Tory DeOrian
Tell us a little bit about yourself
My name is Tory and I'm a professional children's and commercial illustrator! I work from home which means I snack a lot and go to bed really late. I could not be more grateful for my juicy creative life and I absolutely want to inspire others to reach their fullest creative potential. Some of my clients include Snapchat, Taco Bell, San Francisco Pride and Starbucks. I'm also lucky to be represented by the lovely Kelly Sonnack of Andrea Brown Literary Agency, for my picture books which are underway!
After college I started a group for young women, a creative/happiness club in which we all dedicated ourselves to a personal creative project, worked on bad habits, and essentially supported each other's creative and personal enrichment. It was revitalizing, and I dream of doing it on a much larger scale someday.
Aside from Illustration and Graphic Design, my fun jobs in the past have included: working as an intern for Disney, spending several years as a glittery children's entertainer (faerie/princess/mermaid) for Happily Ever Laughter Parties, and putting blush on people for two years as a Studio Makeup Artist for Smashbox Cosmetics. After getting my degree in Graphic Design, I went to makeup school in Portland, then two years later I moved to SoCal to earn my certificate in Children's Illustration at UC San Diego. I love school.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I've got two for you!
#1- Makeup Artistry. A very intimidating art form, right?! For some reason I was called to it toward the end of my senior year in college so I went to Portland for a 3 month makeup program. After earning my Makeup Certification I was able to do makeup alongside freelance Graphic Design + Illustration and it ended up being a wonderful job where I met all different types of amazing women. I'm so glad I faced my fear...My first day of makeup school I hardly knew what blush was even for.
Makeup ended up being an excellent career option, but Illustration was always my calling. So:
#2- Illustration...Except, Illustration never made me feel afraid! It was something I would do to relax, calm down, enjoy myself, and impress my parents with. Learning the Adobe programs was a SCARY thought at first but you catch on quick and it's not the kind of struggle you anticipate. (DO NOT let that stop you from being a digital artist. Eventually it's like playing a creative video game where the controls are second nature.) While growing up, making art was the ultimate escape. From drawing during 6th grade math lectures, to painting late into the night in high school.
How did it feel getting started?
Making the decision to major in Art in college is when it all really started. I was originally a Psych major (because I wanted to help people) but changed my major to Graphic Design immediately after learning what Graphic Design was. Then I'd say my career really started when I got hired to illustrate for Taco Bell at VIDCON 2016. I had to travel for the opportunity but I was so grateful and excited that I would have done the job for free. Not once has it ever been about the money.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started Illustrating.
The obstacles I faced starting out were mostly:
1) Quality. Frustration with the quality of my artwork. I would think "Why can't I get my art to look like I want it to? I have a vision in my head but the end result is not as good." The answer is practice, detail, and refining your technique.
2) Time. Working a day job is definitely an obstacle. But I would illustrate after I got home from work, spend 12 hours at my desk on my days off, assign myself new things every week. You have to relentlessly participate in the manifestation of your own blessings, as Elizabeth Gilbert says.
What motivates you to Illustrate?
You know that little mini happy bubbling feeling inside when something clicks? (Same when a comedian makes an entire audience laugh, or a pro basketball player makes their shot.) I love that feeling of a project coming together. It's also that I have so many tons of ideas, I get depressed and mentally agitated when I'm not working on them.
Making my clients happy is also a huge motivation. I'll spend much longer than I need to on a project in order to make sure it matches their vision.
Which living person do you most admire?
My dad. He was a police officer for 33 years until he safely retired, thank goodness. He's an artist too, and his questions about my dream to become a professional artist were never laced with doubt. He encourages me to grow and take every opportunity that presents itself. "Leave no stone unturned." He says.
Which talent would you most like to have?
If I could sing I would be on stage just like Katy Perry dressed like a cupcake wearing glittery makeup. It's hard to find an excuse to do that on stage as an illustrator!
What is your most marked characteristic?
I'm super tall so, that! But as an artist, it's my wildly colorful style that people somehow always recognize.
What is your motto?
Always have something to look forward to.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Since I'm 25 years old, having done projects for several big clients AND signing an agent all within the same year is something I feel grateful for and proud of. I didn't expect so many of my dreams to come true all at once but I guess since I literally illustrate sometimes for 14 hours a day and research opportunities obsessively that's the result. Being prolific is essential to success.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
During Oprah's Life You Want Tour, I remember Iyanla Vanzant getting on stage in all her vigor asking "Haven't you always been there for yourself??" I try to keep in mind that being stuck is all a part of the process; you've been stuck before and you'll be stuck again. As my dad says 'Don't force it!' Actually, just last night I was struggling with a pattern illustration, I woke up today and finished it by 1pm! Being that I illustrate anywhere from 8-14 hours a day, I get stuck a lot but I also get through it a lot!
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
I could talk your ear off with advice! As a seeker of guidance and knowledge at every turn, I'm more than happy to pass along what I know.
A general piece of advice which I learned as an intern for Disney in regards to being prolific:
Don't just make one piece of art, make 10. (Numbers 9 and 10 will probably end up being your best and you'll have more work to choose from.) Don't just come up with two or three ideas, come up with 20 or 30. (This way your ideas are more unique to you.) Don't just set two goals for the day, set five. (Then when you achieve almost all if not all of them, it's more than you would just having set two.) This, I've found, has been my secret to success.
Let me break it down into categories:
If you're looking into freelance graphic-design/illustration/photography:
Make the kind of work you want to be hired to do. If you're looking at a magazine ad or illustration on an app and you think "Hey! I bet I could do that! How can I get hired to do that??" Research, research, research the opportunities out there. Obsessively build your portfolio until it's really freaking good. Keep a list of contacts of art directors and inquire about opportunities when you're ready. (For example, when I've built enough of an editorial/magazine illustration portfolio, only then can I begin to reach out to those people.) Continue to build your knowledge base through taking classes (Good online classes I recommend: Lynda.com and skillshare.com. Skillshare is the more fun and quirky of the two, Lynda offers sophisticated technical knowledge.) Once you begin to get clients, you muse never miss a deadline. I once read this advice: "Be super honest with your clients and make them happy." This is something I live by as a freelancer.
If you're looking into picture book writing and/or illustration:
There are several good schooling programs out there. I chose the UC San Diego Extension program for Picture Book Illustration, which took me a year to complete and ended up being absolutely amazing! You MUSTjoin the SCBWI and attend conferences and meetings, read the monthly SCBWI magazine/bulletin that gets mailed to you. You also must be actively working on your writing and/or illustrating several times a week if not every day when you get home from work. Make it your new obsession. Learn about different publishers and figure out what you'll need in your portfolio to be ready to query agents. Design promotional mailers you can mail to art directors. Also, join twitter because the #kidlit world essentially lives there!
Also, make a list of assignments for yourself. Research events, classes, and workshops that you can take in your free time.
If you're looking into makeup artistry:
The beauty industry is everywhere, so if you learn makeup or skincare you're likely to be able to find a job anywhere you move to. That was appealing to me. Once you learn the steps of doing makeup and understand the different types of skin (comes with experience) you're likely to get the hang of it. I like to do things step-by-step and makeup artistry ended up being exactly that! I suggest finding a makeup artistry program or taking personal makeup lessons. All of the different prestige brands (Smashbox Cosmetics, Urban Decay, IT Cosmetics- to name a few) hire freelancers to travel locally and do makeup! Shoot for those positions starting out. They pay better than makeup retail positions and you get to move around! There's also wedding makeup, working at a cosmetic counter, film and television, etc.
I was blessed to have known Tory. To enjoy her the beautiful work she did while she was on this earth, visit:
Tory on her web site and on Instagram for added joy!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Chef Keesha + Chef Gloriana | Kitchun
This Season of The Courage to Become to SO exciting!!!! More than ever I am grateful to be surrounded by strong women with amazing stories of grit, determination and HOPE.
We are kicking off Season 2 by shining a spotlight on Chef Keesha and Chef Gloriana, friends and founders of Kitchun, a company focused on providing tasty, grain-free foods.
Tonight we are doing this conversation style!
Tell us a little bit about yourself:
Chef Keesha:
I am married to my best friend of the last 14 years. We met in the military and within 3 months we were married. The best spontaneous decision I have ever made and I have made several! I have 3 wonderful, active, supportive children. I am a creative and always seeking to create the next best thing. I spend many nights dreaming of recipes and wake up the next day to make them happen. I am a Certified LeCordon Bleu Trained Pastry Chef, serial entrepreneur and health and fitness enthusiast.
Chef Gloriana:
I am a Wife (we met when we were 16), a mother of 2 incredible little boys and one beautiful baby girl. I am also a Le Cordon Bleu Pastry Chef, a creative entrepreneur and health and fitness is very important to me.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
Chef Keesha:
I have always dreamt of leaving a legacy.
And I have always been afraid of: Starting a business and attaching huge expectations of success to it. I think starting a business was the easy part... the "scary yet exciting" part has been committing to success of it. While cliché but true -- the easiest way to fail is to not even try. So ideally I fear not trying more than anything.
Chef Gloriana:
One thing I always knew I wanted to do was be my own boss. It can be scary to take on a business of your own -- with all of the responsibility on you. Luckily I have an incredible business partner and we help each other every day to get through the trials of business ownership and learning something new every day.
How did it feel getting started?
Chef Keesha:
Getting started was exciting...at times it was like "wow, we are really doing this. Creating the recipes, the design process all of the fun stuff. But there was a lot of on the job training as well. I have always had the attitude of I can do anything...so I spent a lot of time reading, studying and researching the things we needed to - to start and run the business.
Chef Gloriana:
Getting started was the exciting part -- because we didn't know all the really hard stuff ahead!
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started?
Chef Keesha:
I think our obstacles have always been what we don't know. But they are just that...obstacles to overcome and grow from.
Chef Gloriana:
Obstacles for us have always been that we are creatives that have no business background so everything is new to us and we have to roll with the punches... and a lot of them feel like actual punches!
What motivates you to continue Kitchun?
Chef Keesha:
Much of my motivation comes from my family. I come from humble beginnings and decided a very long time ago that I would change that for myself, my Mom and now for my children. It has taken me many years to figure out exactly what it is that I passionately love to do. But better NOW than never.
Chef Gloriana:
Motivation for me is my children. I love that they get excited to see Mommy’s face in the grocery store aisle and get excited. Truthfully it feels pretty good to me too. I want my friends and family to see me working hard and that it is paying off -- and to be proud.
Which living person do you most admire?
Chef Keesha:
This is a difficult one, because I admire so many people for different reasons. Of course my Mother because of the strength I was able to witness as a kid and now as a mother myself.
My husband for his unconditional love for me and my dreams, other female entrepreneurs that have rocked the minds of so many...like Oprah Winfrey...who wouldn't admire her!
Chef Gloriana:
I tend to admire people who face a lot of challenges and overcome. Resilience is key. And my Mom is one of the most resilient people I know.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Chef Keesha:
Singing! But God knows best. HA
Chef Gloriana:
I would love to play a musical instrument.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Chef Keesha:
Lovingly Driven
What is your motto?
Chef Keesha:
I have two mottos that ring in my head at the same time. One from a Secret commercial my Aunt was in as a kid (another one of my most admired individuals) "NEVER LET THEM SEE YOU SWEAT" meaning always stay composed in each and every situation good or unpleasant. And the second one from motivational speaker Eric Thomas "WINNERS WIN" meaning do the little things each day towards your success and leave nothing to question.
Chef Gloriana:
"Lift your head princess or else your crown will fall". A little reminder to me to keep my head held high even in difficult situations.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Chef Keesha:
Personally I would have to say my family. My husband and I have committed to giving our children the best that we can, we push ourselves and each other to fulfill our own personal dreams as well as build up our children to accomplish any and all they choose to.
In regard to Kitchun, the universe saw fit to place me in a culinary class with an amazing young lady (Gloriana) who became a great friend and then business partner. Together we have combined our dream of being business owners and have created, developed and nurtured the company that we have now. To date it is our greatest business accomplishment with so much more to be revealed.
Chef Gloriana:
At home: My family, my husband and our children. I love them with every bit of my heart and I'm proud and GRATEFUL that I have that.
In business: Still making it happen every day! This is a tough business and we are challenged EVERY DAY but we keep pushing forward with success. Our 1ST Place win for HEB’S Quest for Texas Best was a pretty big accomplishment as well. We are now in 138 HEB stores!!
What are some hopes you have for your future?
Chef Keesha:
To be amongst some of the most influential female business owners of my time. For Kitchun to grow to its full potential of being a household name, filling a need in the healthy snacking market and serving a greater humanitarian purpose.
Chef Gloriana:
I hope that this business venture eventually leads to us being a household name and the ability to spend more time with my family.
What's one piece of advice you'd give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Chef Keesha:
Step out on faith and out of your comfort zone. Never fear failure, it is how we overcome the failures that make the success story so much sweeter. Make a decision to: WIN, CHANGE THE SITUATION, BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE!
Chef Gloriana:
Always ask a lot of questions to everyone! People are surprisingly willing to help when you admit you don’t know something. Also, "know what you don’t know" so you know when to ask for help. And above all, be resilient.
--
To keep up with these awesome ladies hop on over to Facebook and Instagram!
And don't forget to grab a bag of their snacks while you're at your local HEB. They are on my grocery list every week!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
