Love Warrior | Week 45 | Confidence Revolution

I have been a fan of Glennon’s for a few years now. First I read Carry On, Warrior. Then I read her blogs, then I joined her community, then I went to go see her speak and then … I read Love Warrior.

I am all in when it comes to Glennon.

She is not perfect, she is real. She is not polished, she is raw. She inspires me to love and to keep showing up, to share my gifts and to stretch my heart to care for everyone (no matter how far away their troubles may seem from mine.)

Her latest book, Love Warrior is bold. It’s the story of how she and her husband hit ROCK bottom and how they healed themselves. The book is layered and complex and talks of porn, sex and infidelity. But it also talks about how she and her husband did the work to heal themselves individually and how only then were they able to heal their marriage.

Here’s one take-away from the book:

One day after Glennon found out about Craig’s infidelity, she was at church and a fellow parishioner (also a woman) approached her, wagged a finger in her face and said, “God gave you to Craig as his helper. Your duty is to help him through this time.”

Was helper really God’s name for women?

Glennon got mad and then she got curious.

It turns out, the original Hebrew word for woman is EZER. The word EZER has two roots, strong and benevolent. In her research she also found that the best translation for the word EZER is WARRIOR.

God created woman as a WARRIOR. 

As young girls and women, we are fed a lot of stories. Some stories are of how prince charming will come as rescue us if we are worthy enough. Other stories are of how we should aim to be just like men. And yet other stories are about how we are a subset of humanity.

Well, I think all those stories are WRONG.

I think that women are glorious creatures. I think we have gifts bestowed upon us that are unique to us – just as men have gifts bestowed upon them that are unique to them. To be a woman is to be WHO you want to be, without the influence of stories.

Alexandra is 2 now and picking up more and more every day. She sings and counts and says Amen and has now taken to calling me, Mami. :)  Because I know she is a sponge I often say, “Raise your hand if you’re smart!” We all raise our hands. “Raise your hand if you’re awesome!” We all raise our hands. “Raise your hands if you’re fun!” We all raise our hands.

And just a few weeks ago, I started weaving in “strong,” and she has started flexing her biceps.

I want her to KNOW she is worthy and kind and strong. I want her sense of worth to be a foregone conclusion.

The other day Alexandra was calling my name, she wanted me to make her breakfast. But her Papa was in the kitchen, so I took my time getting out of bed. And I heard my husband say, “Your Mama is one of the most capable people I know – she’ll come when she’s ready.” And a tear rolled down my cheek.

I am capable. I am powerful. I am a WARRIOR – KIND AND BENEVOLENT – AND SO ARE YOU.

love and grace, catia

Unspoken Truth + Weight | Week 37 | Confidence Revolution

Have you ever known what you needed to do, but didn’t want to take the steps to make it happen because you were just going along to get along? Or maybe you didn’t want to speak your truth because you didn’t want to rock the boat? Or maybe you didn’t want to say what you were thinking OUTLOUD, because God forbid, you would appear high maintenance?

Me too. 

We started our IVF journey in mid-January. I took hormones that sent my body into menopause and at the same time took hormones that made my body mature eggs at Usain Bolt speed. I administered 4 shots a day every day. I was bloated, in pain and praying for a healthy baby. I had blood draws every 2-3 days and had doctor’s appointments at the same rate, and on top of it all we were spending a boat load of money to make it all happen.

In early March we had our first embryo implant and by the end of March we learned that the baby did not take and that we were not pregnant. It was a very sad day and few weeks for our family. Were we going to have another baby?

Just about that time, God started whispering to me and I knew I was supposed to change doctors. Only changing doctors WAS NOT something that our IVF clinic responded well to. Once a doctor was assigned to you, they wanted to see it through. But I KNEW I NEEDED TO SWITCH. I knew on the next go around, we would have a healthy baby, IF I could switch who the implant doctor would be.

Afraid of appearing HIGH MAINTENANCE, I said nothing and my anxiety started to bubble up. I couldn’t quite work up the courage to ask for the switch, until one day there was a wrinkle in my original doctor’s calendar and I quickly spoke up and asked to be under the care of NEW DOCTOR.

The nurse sighed and told me that their office didn’t like it -- I pushed anyway. She said my switching doctors was going to rock the boat -- I pushed anyway.

Eventually they obliged and NEW DOCTOR implanted the next embryo and now we are 22 weeks pregnant!

I was going through ALL that, trying to bring a life into the world and I was afraid of appearing/being high maintenance!!! Who is this person that started the, Confidence Revolution anyway?! 

And as soon as I asked for what I wanted, as soon as I was true to my intuition, I felt better, lighter, RELIEVED.

There is a space where being kind and gentle to others, meets being kind and true to OURSELVES. That’s where we should aim to live. We should not forsake our truth for fear of change or disruption, instead we should aim to be so in touch with our truth and our emotions that we can quickly identify them and allow ourselves to be guided by them.

Maybe your unacknowledged truth is something small, but maybe it’s something big. Maybe you are gay and have never said it out loud, maybe you really want to be an artist and feel like you’re suffocating at your desk job. Maybe you would rather your mother-in-law not treat your children one way, but you’re afraid to speak up. Maybe you’re battling abuse or addiction and you’re afraid to say anything because saying it out loud will require change. Maybe you’re in a relationship that you know is not for you but you’re afraid of hurting the person, so you go along to get along.

All of those fears are understandable, but you can either confront the fear (the weird feeling, the awkward change) or it will sit inside you and create such a heaviness in you that your light will begin to fade and eventually go out.

When we know and speak our truth we are able to walk around unburdened, light and joyful.
And that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, light and joy.

love and grace, catia

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What are Your Gifts? | Week 10 | Confidence Revolution

Let's Identify Your Gifts

Your gifts are worth being celebrated AND they are worth being explored AND they are worth being shared.  

There are legions of us out there who don't feel like we have gifts to offer the world, but we most certainly do.

EACH of us is worthy of being heard, of being honored and of taking part in the conversation.  All that life asks of us is that we show up.

Last night I forced myself to go to a neighborhood mom's meeting. It always makes me a little nervous because I don't really know anyone and I know I'll have to stretch and have some 'blind date' type of courage. But during the meeting a fellow mom kindly sat down next to me and we started talking and it went like this... "I get you!" "Me too." "Me too." "I know, right?" My heart could have burst. And I came home thrilled to have met a new friend. But if I would have stayed home in my pjs, I wouldn't have experienced any of it.

It's okay to be scared. We CAN walk with fear, into the unknown because we CAN handle it.

Let's turn our attention inside and realize that we are full of gifts and skill and one-of-a-kind qualities. People will like us and pay attention to us, not because we are the best, but because we see them and we allow ourselves to be seen. 

PS. In this video I recommend the book Carry On, Warrior, you can find it here. I finished the book last night and I'm lamenting not having it for a few minutes before I go to sleep every night. Ladies, you're going to love it!

Hey guys - if you're looking to feel better, feel happy and feel confident - I have something for you. 

I 100% wrote this in service of you. I want you to find joy in everyday life! 

Love!