Courage to Become | Karina Shivdasani
“I grew up with a lot of insecurities. I always felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt too chubby, not pretty enough, too tall, and I hated my “Bugs Bunny” teeth. I am an Indian-American, and within my culture people have no problem calling out your “flaws” (at least in my experience). I remember when I was younger, before our summer trips to India I made sure I was on a diet. I didn’t want to be called out for my weight or didn’t want to hear “Karina you need to stop growing so tall, you are never going to find a boy to marry”. My goal was always to keep as much attention off me as possible!”
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Melissa is one of them.
Enjoy Karina’s story of becoming. I watch her company or social media and admire the way she is so passionate about uplifting others and spreading love! I have learned so much from her about connection and commitment. I know you will too! Please welcome, Karina.
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Hi there! My name is Karina, and I the founder of a Kind Fashion company called Common Assembly. Aside from that, I am a newly certified Reiki practitioner, I am a woman that is learning how to be vibrantly and fully me, and I'd like to think I spread fairy dust and make people smile =)
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I was always scared of being bold! I was scared of taking risks! I was afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone. Honestly, as a child, I was also afraid of speaking and letting my voice be heard. So I jumped into starting my own business, called Common Assembly. I tend to go 0-60 and dive into things when I have those few moments of courage that divinely come when we need it the most.
Common Assembly models and fashion
I wanted to share something with you all. I often get asked, how did you come up with the idea of kindness in fashion?There is a short answer to this, but I feel compelled to tell you the whole story…my story…
I grew up with a lot of insecurities. I always felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt too chubby, not pretty enough, too tall, and I hated my “Bugs Bunny” teeth. I am an Indian-American, and within my culture people have no problem calling out your “flaws” (at least in my experience). I remember when I was younger, before our summer trips to India I made sure I was on a diet. I didn’t want to be called out for my weight or didn’t want to hear "Karina you need to stop growing so tall, you are never going to find a boy to marry". My goal was always to keep as much attention off me as possible!
In my late teens I finally felt like I was climbing in my confidence. I was shedding my baby weight, and finally felt like I had a voice. Silly story- but my greatest challenge/accomplishment at that time was running for Student Council President my junior year. OMG when I had to give my election speech in front of everyone I nearly peed my pants, I was TREMBLING. But I won..little ol’ me…I actually won, people liked me, and they liked what I had to say. I literally remember thinking “Life is good, everything is going great…I could get used to this”. And like a flip of a switch, my world changed overnight, and it left me feeling broken and lost.
What had happened was a complete freak accident…the type of thing you see in the movies. My brother fell off a 3rd floor balcony one night (he was 22, I was 18). His accident left him paralyzed from the waist down. I won’t dive into everything- but use your imagination. It was a surreal experience for me and my family. We went through all the stages of grief, the “Why ME?”, the “How can you God?”, and when we were done fighting and got to a place of acceptance, the healing started.
For us healing was diving into spirituality. Reading books by authors like Dr. Wayne Dyer, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Anita Moorjani and attending their seminars all over the U.S. At first I was not open to this: Your thoughts matter? Positivity? …seemed like this was all just some coping mechanism to escape reality and pretend like everything was ok. But then I actually started to listen. I learned about how important it is to honor yourself, your feelings, and to take care of yourself first. I learned that self-care is not selfish. And in practice that my perspective and my life started to shift. I felt lighter, I allowed myself to come face to face with the pain I was still holding, I had tough conversations to finally open up and tell my family what I was going through (rather than always being strong for them). I finally saw me for me and honored what I needed. That was my magic.
This brings us to today, almost 14 years later. It has been quite a ride, but one that we are grateful for. Our lives changed, but for the better. Out of this “tragedy” was born so much good. Vik, my brother, is a life coach helping other people overcome adversity in their lives. My parents and some family members started a nonprofit organization called Infinite Love, which is serving South Texas with love, sacred shared space, and community. And me, it has brought me to a place where I can fulfill my passion!
Karina and Vik
Through these experiences, I have recognized that all the emotions I felt were#realcommon. People everywhere have their version of my story. My heart is in helping women through their journeys and creating a community that highlights and supports everything we have in common. When we feel good, we do good, and for women “feeling good” often translates to how we dress and self-express. When we are kinder to ourselves and honor our authentic selves, we have more capacity to help others. That journey ignited my passion for creating Common Assembly. With the thought to one day create this business, I followed a fashion merchandising career path as an Apparel Buyer for a nationwide corporate retailer. Now, I am ready to share my journey with the world.
Common Assembly was born out of a passion to provide women fashion they could feel good about, one that would fill your closet and your soul. We believe kindness is the thread that connects us all, and we do our part to weave it into everything we do. We’re committed to Kindness for the Common Good.
Karina
How did it feel getting started?:
Lots of emotions. I first was on cloud nine thinking the Universe is going to support me fully, and I will be an overnight success. Things did not go so smoothly, and I broke down feeling like a failure within the first few months, and what was my passion project turned into my most significant stressor. It took me a moment to recognize the hardships were the biggest blessings. Then, as I surrendered to the situation, grew, and learned from an open perspective, it shifted back to becoming the beautiful passion project that fulfills me and brings me so much joy.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you started your business?
There were a lot; literally, nothing was going smoothly. It felt like I couldn't catch a break, third party agencies that we signed on with did not work out, customer outreach was not as strong as we hoped, we had technical difficulties with the site.
Common Assembly model and fashion
What motivates you to grow Common Assembly?
Creating a Kind Fashion company fills me so much. I love fashion; I love seeing women feel good in how they are expressing themselves, I love creating a work culture that supports my team's emotional, soul, and career growth, I love creating content for our kind blog, I love and honor the opportunity to connect with and hopefully enrich someone else's life.
Which living person do you most admire?
My mom. She is the walking definition of what the embodiment of unconditional love is.
Karina and her mama, Malka
Which talent would you most like to have?
I would love the ability to play the guitar, piano, tabla (Indian drums), and sitar. Music moves me deeply.
What is your most marked characteristic?
This is a hard question. I believe it would be my compassion and soft demeanor.
Do you have a motto you turn to often?
"Life doesn't happen to you; it happens for you."
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
1)Coming out of my shell 2) Using my voice 3) Being bold when it mattered most
Karina and her husband Mehul
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in the mud?
Remembering that it is just my perception of keeping me there. I practice being aware of it, acknowledging it, and allowing the feels to be there. Once I have allowed myself to feel, I breathe through it and work on shifting my perception to a greater, more expansive place.
What's one piece of advice you'd give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
YOU CAN DO IT! The hard times are your most significant gift.
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?
Live authentically, live fully. That is the greatest gift you can do for yourself.
Hi friend!
Welcome to Bright Light.
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, friend, daughter -- you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
Here at Bright Light, I help parents worldwide enjoy their lives and enjoy their kids.
Family life can be beautiful, but it's not easy. A day in a family can be filled with heartache, guilt, hugs, crying, laughing, and rushing from one place to another.
I help parents create the home life they've always wanted and an environment that feels good for everyone. I teach parents how to strengthen their marriages and relationships with their children.
I believe in the power of parents and families to support and encourage each family member and then take that energy and make the world a better place.
You have the strength to break behavioral patterns, heal intergenerational trauma, and nurture your family in the way you have always wanted to.
To each session, I bring my training as a Certified Conscious Coach, my graduate studies in Marriage and Family Therapy, and my decade-long career as an author and keynote speaker. My approach is multi-cultural, grounded in research and my own experience as the mama of two young girls.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me, I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Monthly Guide
We all need reminders of how loved we are. I know that when I need support being my best self - a quick reminder that I am worthy and loved does the trick! Snag some goodies from my shop and treat yourself to a soul pick-me-up.
Shine your brightest,
Help for Post Partum Depression (and the like)
I have had postpartum depression … twice. And so have A LOT of your friends and family.
When you’re a first time mom, the postpartum experience is new – and since it’s your first time around – it’s not easy to figure out what’s normal and what isn’t.
During my first pregnancy I was aware of the postpartum depression possibility so I guarded against it. I encapsulated my placenta, I worked out, I went to therapy, and still – the bottom fell out from under me. Only I didn’t know it – and not knowing that you are in the midst of postpartum disorders is the most dangerous.
One day, when my first born was about 4 months old, I noticed that I felt really good. I felt like a weight had lifted off my shoulders – and over the next few weeks, the puzzle pieces fell into place and I knew I had been depressed and anxious.
Here’s what my first go with postpartum disorders felt like:
Having thoughts of my baby getting hurt or dying A LOT.
Extreme jealousy and irrational behavior.
Fear that my husband would find a better woman.
Not connecting with my child.
I tended to her needs and no one could tell I wasn’t truly connecting – but I knew.
Resentment of my new life.
I wanted a baby, and had one, but then I was kind of pissed that my life had changed so much. Where had my life gone? Where had my freedom gone?
So then, with my second baby, I was ready. I knew what to look out for. My husband and I were ready!
With my second baby I had a traumatic birth (I lost 50% of my blood and had to have blood transfusions) so my OB was on high alert for me having Post-traumatic stress disorder, but after a few checkups, she deemed me fine.
The first several months of my second baby’s life were a dream. I was in love with her, I was connecting with her, I had help around the house, and my husband was helping a ton – ALL GOOD!
But then around month four – things started to get weird. I started to have major anxiety and my fuse became shorter and shorter. And around month five, my girlfriend Alexis at Birth 360, posted an article about late onset postpartum depression – and I read it – and it all clicked.
Dang it! It happened again!
I immediately called my doctor and made an appointment.
Here’s what postpartum depression felt like the second time around:
Having thoughts of my children getting hurt or dying – A LOT.
A general sense of fear of not having enough (money, food, time, etc.)
A short fuse, zero patience.
Anger toward everyone. Suppressed rage.
Feeling like someone had a boot on my neck.
Feeling helpless to affect change in my work life.
Irrational thoughts
Here’s a quick example of irrational thoughts:
My husband and I were out of town visiting family. We were staying in a quiet farm town, at least 30 minutes from a grocery store. One morning he cooked our oldest daughter breakfast — eggs and hotdogs. He also precooked hotdogs for the rest of the day – so that she would have something ready to go if she got hungry.
I asked him if he had had his fill of hotdogs, and he said yes. Then I said, “Okay, I’m going to eat the rest of these hotdogs with my breakfast.” I too wanted eggs and hotdogs. And he said, “Why don’t you have the chicken (there was cooked chicken breast) so that she can have the hotdogs later?”
And I got PISSED.
Thoughts started swirling in my mind. He doesn’t think I deserve hotdogs? Am I not worth hotdogs? I should be able to eat the hotdogs if I want. Am I not worth the $8 worth of hotdogs? And on and on.
I jumped in the shower and began to weep.
Guys, my husband and I have a strong relationship. He loves me and I love him, deeply. We have been through life together and still, we pull closer together. The sky is blue, and my husband loves me — I KNOW these things. And I knew intellectually that he would want me to have the hot dogs if that’s what I wanted – but my brain was spinning OUT OF CONTROL.
And when I told my OB/GYN the hotdog story – she said, “I’m glad you’re here for help.”
—
Useful questions for help for postpartum depression:
I recommend you ask yourself or have a person you trust ask.
Are you having fears you didn’t used to have? What are they?
Are you angry your life has changed?
Are you having thoughts that your baby is going to die?
Are you frustrated throughout the day? What sparks the frustration?
Do you feel inadequate?
Do you feel supported?
Do you feel like you can be honest about your feelings with those around you?
Has your libido changed? How?
If you have children, how do you feel toward them? Same as before baby? More connected, less connected?
If you are married or in a relationship – how do you feel toward your spouse/partner? Has it changed since post baby? Describe.
These are BIG questions and they only work if you commit to being honest.
The thing I’ve heard most from women about postpartum disorders is that they are ashamed. I am here to tell you – there is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a hormonal issues – not an issue of ability or will power.
You can ask for help from your OB/GYN, your child’s pediatrician, a counselor or your girlfriends, community and family. Some women feel better after talking about it with friends or a therapist. Some women need medication (me!) And some women need a combo of things.
We are all with you and for you.
Childbirth brings on so many changes, good and bad and messy ones. But the point of it all is to ENJOY your new baby and your new family. Get the help you need, you deserve to feel good!
Other resources:
Pregnancy and Postpartum Health Alliance of Texas
—
This post was originally written for and featured on Austin Moms Blog
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Andi Franklin
What I remember, is the silence. The dimly light dining room. My knees on the chair cushion and arms draped over its back, clutching a $25 Target gift card I had gotten as an early birthday present. Curtains peeled back, street lights on, and a cul-de-sac full of cars that were in for the night.
He’ll be here. He’ll be here. He promised he would take me, so he’ll be here.
I don’t know how long I was there, staring and waiting and convincing myself that he would show. But finally, I felt my mother’s gentle hand on my shoulder.
"Its time to go to bed, sweetie. I’m sure he just got caught up.”
Looking back, I think of my mom and hard that must have been for her. I think of how long she pondered what to say to her bright-eyed little girl who sat in a window all night waiting for her dad to show up and take her shopping for her 7th birthday. I wonder if she knew how far gone he was, I wonder if she saw it coming.
That night marked the beginning of my biological father’s exit strategy. I can only remember seeing him one other time in passing before he was gone for good. He never said goodbye. He never told me why. He was just, gone.
My mom explained that he was in the clutch of drugs and alcohol, but I wasn’t buying it. Deep down I knew the real reason he left⏤me.
This belief coursed through my veins and spread in my body like a cancer. Each year that passed I would get sicker and sicker, subconsciously convinced that his love was the cure. Meanwhile, in my conscious mind, I became obsessed with finding him.
The reason changed with each season in my life.
At the tender age of seven, I simply wanted him to come home to me. I loved him, missed him, and didn’t care about the rest. But as a new year turned, so would my feelings toward this elusive man. Emotions? I’ve felt them all. I think that is kind of expected when you are abandoned.
But what surprises me now, is how I let that single event in my life take the driver seat and dictate every future relationship.
My story of becoming, lies here—in the gaping wounds of a woman who spent over 20 years of her life looking for love, when love had been hers all along.
My quest to fill the void of my biological father’s love sent me down twisted, untended, shadowy trails.
It got to the point where I would push for young men to leave me around my birthday because I had convinced myself it was going to happen anyway.
Somehow, no matter what, I would always find myself back where I started:
Seven years old. Curtains peeled back, street lights on, and a cul-de-sac full of cars that were in for the night.
He’ll be here. He’ll be here. He promised he would take me, so he’ll be here.
I would always see it coming, but I would sit and wait anyway.
The leaving. The betrayal. The heartbreak.
My deep longing for love led me into the clutches of manipulation. Young men knew how to work a broken girl, and one in particular was so skilled that it took me weeks to realize he had raped me.
“But did you say no?”
Yes.
“But did you try to fight him off?”
Yes.
“And yet, you still didn’t realize you had been raped?”
No.
Trauma has a funny way of doing that to a person. Especially when it roots back to your childhood and incessant need to be loved.
Fortunately, I clawed my way out of that hell and found myself on the other side. The side that could sit in a space with other women who had gone through it and say, “me too, and I’m here for you.”
I met a man who wasn’t afraid of me and my baggage. A man who refused to leave me around my birthday, despite my many attempts to sway him otherwise.
We fell in love, got married, and therein lies the happy ending, right?
I sure thought so.
I had actively convinced myself that I was cured.
Healed! Praise Jesus, Hallelujah!
I thought the void had been filled and I went on with my merry way with life.
Until the day I finally had to come face to face with him.
Meeting my biological father again for the first time in 18 years was terrifying.
It was my grandfather’s 80th birthday and my father had been clean and sober for about six months, so the family allowed him to come to the event and notified us that he would be there.
I was five months pregnant with my first son.
Palms sweaty, face flushed.
Don’t you cry, Andrea. You’ve gotta stay strong for your brother.
I brought a notebook full of letters, songs, and poems I had written to him throughout the years. I was going to give it to him and show him the pain he had caused.
But when I saw him, I couldn’t do it.
This man, so broken and fragile. Petrified of us—his grown children.
My heart no longer hurt for just me, it hurt for him too.
And so the notebook stayed with me and I left that birthday party, heart still guarded, but softened.
He managed to stay clean for another year and a half and was even invited to my brother’s wedding. Then suddenly, he was gone again. Back into the warm arms of alcohol and Methamphetamine—his oldest friends, and closest enemies.
When I found out, I decided I was done with him for good. I wiped my hands clean, threw them in the air, and proclaimed that I was whole, and didn’t need him.
And yet, no matter what, I would always find myself back where I started:
Seven years old. Curtains peeled back, street lights on, and a cul-de-sac full of cars that were in for the night.
He’ll be here. He’ll be here. He promised he would take me, so he’ll be here.
Three and a half years had passed since I had seen or heard from him and then, my grandpa died.
I knew he would be at his father’s funeral, but I also knew he was on drugs and I was terrified of seeing him like that.
I stepped out of the truck at Green Acres Cemetery, not knowing what to expect.
Palms sweaty, face flushed.
Don’t you cry, Andrea. You’ve gotta stay strong for your brother.
But he never showed. And it was there, at the celebration of my grandpa’s life, that my becoming shifted.
I found out from my cousin that my father was homeless, living on a dirt road somewhere in the desert.
A rumble stirred within me.
Homeless.
I couldn’t accept this. I heard it echoing in my mind for days.
Homeless.
And so, I knew I needed to do something.
I talked to my husband and told him I really wanted to bring a care pack of sorts to my father. You know, toiletries and snacks and things that may help. I knew it wasn’t much, but I also knew it was better than nothing.
But first, I needed to know how to get to him. I decided to send him a facebook message and ask him if what I heard was true.
No response.
Then, an epiphany.
I was lying in bed next to my husband when I became.
I need to tell him I forgive him. Because, I do. I forgive him. And I need to tell him I love him. Because, I do. I love him. And I always have.
Then, another epiphany.
My entire life, I have thought that I needed his love to fill the void in my heart, when in truth, it is MY love that I have wanted to give to him this entire time.
There aren’t adequate enough words to describe this moment.
23 years in the making, I finally discovered my truth:
Conditional love is not who I am. My love is mine to give, and I don’t need someone to love me back in order to give them my love.
That, is unconditional love. And that, is what my soul has always wanted to give to my father.
I sent another message and this time, I told him I loved him and forgave him, without expecting anything in return.
Still, no response.
Then, I sent him this:
I just wanted to let you know that I love you. And I’ll probably tell you that every week from now on, whether you reply or not, because I want you to know that there is still someone living and breathing on this earth that loves and cares for you.
And every Thursday for the past three months I have done just that.
Since then, I was able to see him. My husband and I made the hour and a half drive to the dirt road he’s living on to bring him some things.
He’s created a house of sorts out of an abandoned trailer he found. He scavenges with his girlfriend and they both do drugs.
But, I still love him.
We chatted and laughed and I promised that next time we come, I would stay for a while and catch up more.
He will never be the father I dreamed up in my mind and he may never get clean and sober again.
But I’m no longer seven years old. Curtains peeled back, street lights on, and a cul-de-sac full of cars that were in for the night.
Now, I am a thirty-year-old woman. Eyes peeled open, natural light flooding in, and a heart full of unconditional love that I’m ready to give, freely.
I’ll be there. I’ll be there. I promised myself I would love fully, so I’ll be there.
Essay by: Andi Franklin
You can find more of Andi's writings on Facebook, Instagram and on her website Andi Franklin.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Takisha Shelby
My name is Takisha Shelby, I was born and raised in Lubbock, Texas. The Lord blessed me to see 41 years this past 3rd of February. I'm very thankful for that.
Looking back over my life, I can see how the Lord has played a role in it the whole time. I have been through a lot my 41years living on this earth, but I give all the glory to none other than that man above my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
My story of becoming begins about 15 years ago, I was about 26 years old working two jobs. My full-time job at Lubbock Independent School District as a Special Education Teaching Assistant and my part-time job as a Food service worker. I was no stranger to hard work back then and still not to this day.
It was the weekend after working my full-time job I was at my part-time job. I had been dealing with a headache the whole day I thought it was a sinus headache. I had also gotten suspended the rest of the weekend from my part-time job because of some attitude issues I was having.
Only to find out it was all due to what was going on with me physically and medically.
I was supposed to go out that night but didn't due to my headache. I ate me something, thinking that would help but it didn't so I took me some allergy medicine, decided against going out and went to bed. I was awakened in the early morning hours by a bad headache. My head was hurting me so bad to the point I was crying.
The guy I was seeing at the time told my mom he was going to take me to the hospital, which he did. At the hospital, after running some tests and waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the doctors came out and told us what was going on.
By this time my mom had come up there, the doctors had told us that I had a tumor on my brain, in fact; I have several tumors on my brain(looking like little snowflakes all over my brain) but the one they were worried about was the one which was blocking the plumbing and was causing me to have the headache.
The doctor said that it was unusual because it had fluid around it, they would have to admit me into the hospital, go in and put tubes in my head to drain the fluid from my brain before they would be able to do the actual brain surgery to remove the actual tumor causing the problem.
So now, I'm about to be admitted into the hospital because the situation is serious.
They put the tubes in my head so that the fluid could be drained off my brain. A few days later they did the actual brain surgery. The surgery was supposed to take about 17 hours but ended up taking about 11 hours, but God.
Thinking back to that time, I know that the Lord was with me, because after the surgery I was able to see my mama for a few minutes and once I saw her although they had given me medication to sedate me I knew she was there and I was pretty much aware of everything going on around me.
I remember her telling me that she couldn't stay long, and she would see me later.
When she told me that I wasn't trying to let her go, they ended up asking her to leave so I could get some rest, giving me more medication so I could get me some rest.
About a week and a half later, I was out of the hospital on my way to recovery.
I can honestly say that if it wasn't for God bringing through that situation I wouldn't be here right to this day. I feel this more so now at this point in my life than I ever did before. It was by God's grace and mercy that I didn't have to have any therapy only a little speech therapy.
After the surgery because the area where it had occurred was affected, I wasn't able to form complete thoughts; leading us up to that point. After all that had taken place, look at God! Until now I never in a million years would have thought I would be where I am.
This was the beginning of my spiritual journey. I thank God daily that He has blessed me to see another day up to this point. I have always stood on His Word, in Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, which is my motto; and the basis of my faith.
It took me a while to move on after the surgery, thanks be to God!
It was only the summer that I was out of work, I was able to return to work at Lubbock Independent School District after that. Praise God!
If there was any advice I had to give to anyone going through this or someone who have gone through anything like this, it would be to hold on to your faith. Pray, pray, and if it still feels hopeless pray some more.
If there is one thing that I have learned throughout this whole experience it is this: Prayer changes things. I know that, without any doubt in my mind.
Just as I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me your readers too can do all things through Christ who strengthens them.
Essay by: Takisha Shelby
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Newsletter
The Courage to Become | Charlotte Kikel
I was only 26 years old, and life as I knew it was over. In the late spring of 2002, I could barely walk up a flight of stairs. I couldn’t believe it because I was an athlete. I had been a competitive swimmer through college and a recreational triathlete, so for my legs not to have the energy to get me up the stairs was alarming, to say the least.
I felt like I was wearing twenty-pound weights on each limb and all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch movies. A few days prior to this I thought I had just come down with a cold, but now I knew something else was going on.
So I did what most people do and went to my doctor who put me on a round of antibiotics.
They didn’t work.
So I went back to my doctor who put me on another round of antibiotics.
They didn’t work.
Third times a charm, right?
I returned to my doctor for yet another round of antibiotics.
They didn’t work.
Do you know the frustration of taking a drug and it not working, and possibly making things worse? Most of us do.
The fourth time I showed up to my doctor’s office, not only was I even sicker, but I was exasperated. The experts who were supposed to be helping me weren’t helping me! Somehow, I had a spark of fire still left in me, and I demanded blood work. At 11:30PM, I got a phone call from my doctor telling me to go to the emergency room. My white blood cell count and liver enzymes were off the charts.
When I got to the ER, they took one look at me and then my file and said, “Hmmm. Looks like your gall bladder’s in trouble.”
This made zero sense to me. The gall bladder helps digest fat. I had never had a problem digesting fat. $5000 dollars worth of tests and 8 hours of a sleepless night later, I heard a doctor talking outside my door, “Has anyone tested her for mono? She’s a textbook case.”
They ran that test. It was $15. It came back positive, and they sent me home with the wisdom of a grandmother: sleep and drink lots of water. I had a viral infection called mononucleosis, and the medical system has no tools for this.
I went into a deep, dark depression from the inflammatory cascade occurring in my body. I had excruciating headaches and panic attacks. I passed out five times in restaurants due to low blood sugar. I slept 12 hours a night, took 3 hour naps, and still didn’t have any energy.
This illness also destroyed my relationships because here’s the deal: I looked healthy. So if you look healthy and the doctors can’t find anything wrong with you, then you clearly have a mental problem, right?
Wrong.
After a few years of living in this hell hole, I contemplated suicide on my bathroom floor. I know I’m not alone: 10 million Americans contemplated suicide last year and those are just the people who are willing to admit it. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/10-million-us-adults-seriously-considered-suicide-last-year/
Brushing my teeth seemed like an extraordinary task. I had this strange red rash around my hairline, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. My joyful spirit that wanted to engage with the world around me was trapped in a body that didn’t want to be here. I couldn’t reconcile this and wondered how much longer I could go on.
It sounds corny, but something deep inside of me told me not to give up. Curiosity, anger, and God kept me going. How did this happen? How did I go from swimming 3 hours a day to having a difficult time walking up a flight of stairs? What in the actual fuck is going on here?
After a conversation with a nutritionist and a friend of a friend who had a similar experience, I had a sneaking suspicion that the fact that my dad was vice president of Imperial Sugar in Sugar Land, Texas had something to do with my illness. Turns out I was right. With what energy I had, I started reading books about nutrition and holistic healing. Fifteen years later, I now have a library of over 300 health-related books.
Sugar, along with excessive exercise, too little sleep, and a stressful job, were the perfect storm for the collapse of my vitality.
The good news is that with a tincture of time, herbal medicine, and significant dietary and lifestyle changes, I got better. Much, much better. I got my life back, and this time it’s better than it was.
I have plenty of energy to move through my day. I can think clearly. I love my work and my husband. Life feels like worth living again.
I ended up pursuing a 2-year certificate in nutrition from Bauman College and obtaining a Master’s of Science Degree in Western Herbal Medicine from the Maryland University of Integrative Health in an effort to understand what had happened to me and how others could prevent it from happening to them.
I now know that same wisdom flowing through my body that resulted in chronic illness is the same wisdom that healed me. I got sick because I asked my body to adapt to the impossible. I controlled it every step of the way, until it made me surrender. Now, I have no choice but to listen to my body every single day or I suffer.
It takes courage to heal. I had to give up everything I loved to reclaim my vitality.
I am no longer a competitive athlete. I participate in gentle restorative activities.
I no longer eat sugar and have dreams of owing a bakery. I had to create a new career – one that would respect my health AND enhance the health of others.
We can’t have pets in our home. I had to find a new home for my dog.
And when I gave birth to our son at home at the foot our bed, and then slipped back into another deep, dark inflammatory depression, I saw it this time. I saw the opportunity for another layer of healing. I saw the need to hibernate with my baby. Under very different circumstances, I had to give up who I knew myself to be all over again.
As a direct result of that transformation, I wrote a book titled Eat in Peace to Live in Peace: Your Handbook for Vitality. I just couldn’t keep all that I have learned to myself, so I wrote it down for you…in the name of hope and for the courage to become.
Charlotte Kikel, MS, NC, ACN, MCPP
Board Certified Holistic Nutritionist & Registered Herbalist (AHG), Eat in Peace Wellness Consulting
512-587-0338 //http://www.charlottekikel.com
Schedule appointment herehttp://eatinpeacewellnessconsulting.fullslate.com/
Find Charlotte’s book, Eat in Peace to Live in Peace, here!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Aseky Bonnaire
“Everything happens for a reason”-says everyone when something unfortunate or inconvenient happens.
My name Is Aseky Bonnaire and I live for that quote. I’m a millennial mom raising three boys in Sunny Orlando Florida. I’m married to my high school sweet heart, and childhood crush. I like to think I have it all figured out, but I don’t, nor will I ever, but let a girl think she does haha. I guess I should go into depth more about myself. I met my husband when I was 11 years old and had THE biggest crush on him. We started dating when I was 15 and he was 16. We dated from sophomore year all throughout High School. We did homecoming dances, prom, graduation, the whole 9 yards.
After high school we both went to the local State College. After the first semester flew by, I decided, I love this college thing and I don’t want a baby to interrupt anything. I went to my OB to get a script for birth control, and that’s where I found out I was pregnant. Literally at that moment, it felt like my entire world caved in on me. I was just going to be another teen mom. I was going to live a hard life, I was never going to be able to be on my own 2 feet, and I would have to rely on my mom forever. After our family found out and all the initial shock went away, we actually got really excited to be bringing in a life into this world. Renaldo Jr (RJ) was brought into this world October 23, 2012. We were young, and didn’t know what the heck we were doing, but we knew we had each other and we wanted the best life possible for him. Throughout my entire pregnancy I stayed in school, and even a week after delivering I was going in to take mandatory tests. Renaldo (my boyfriend at the time, now husband) landed a good job, making decent money (for a 20 year old) in customer service (he still works there BTW).
We moved out of my Mom’s house when RJ was 7 months old. We moved into a townhouse 100% on our own. We saved up as much as we could from Renaldo working 5 days a week, 50+ hours, all while I was in school full time. We felt like ‘we made it’. I don’t know if you remember how it felt when you first moved out on your own, whether it was college, or when you got married, but it’s an indescribable feeling. Shortly after moving I got my first “big girl” job at the hospital working in finance. Because of that job, I took a break on school, but also because of that job, we could afford more things outside of bills. When RJ was 11 months old, Renaldo bought me an engagement ring and asked me to be his wife. For the next 12 months we planned our dream wedding, I switched departments at work so I could be home more, bought our first brand new car and went on a bachelorette/ bachelor cruise. Our wedding came and it wasn’t short of perfect. All of our childhood best friends were there, and it was just a great time with great people.
Shortly after our honeymoon we got pregnant with our 2nd son. My husband got promoted (this was his 4th promotion within the 3 years) but It was that pregnancy that I found my love for blogging, and connecting with other women via Instagram. That’s when I discovered the power of a hashtag LOL! Good pregnancy overall. He was born June 17, 2015. We brought him home to our little 2 bedroom townhouse. We knew we wanted to move into something bigger, but never thought we would be able to buy a house. Come on, we were only 22/23 years old. While on maternity leave, I got bored and saw an ad that went something like “you can have a mortgage as low as your rent!” so I called that number, one thing lead to another, obstacle after obstacle, few months went by, and we became homeowners. Shortly after becoming homeowners, I got pregnant with our third (totally not planned, I was breastfeeding. So FYI Breastfeeding IS NOT BIRTHCONTROL. It doesn’t work. Joel is proof haha) but he’s such a blessing and the perfect addition to our family. We literally brought him into the world in that home (no, seriously, I delivered him at home with no one but my husband and kids present). And now we are currently renovating the house from the floor up.
Not only were we home owners, we became homeowners at 22 and 23 year olds, with 2 kids, in the city where we both grew up, completely on our own, and not living up to the stereotype people categorized us in. There is such a negative stigma with being a teen mom. People automatically assume you’re going to live a hard and tough life. While YES, it was hard having a kid at 19, yes there were times we had no clue how we were going to put gas until the next paycheck, but did it stop us, NO! I feel that so many young moms and teen moms automatically categorize themselves and determine their future before they even give themselves a shot at anything.
Having a super supportive (emotionally and financially) partner plays a HUGE role in all of this. Renaldo and I are a team. We’re in this together. We grew up and matured together, and at the same pace, so we were always on the same page when it came to goals that we wanted to achieve. Buying a house is definitely not my ‘I made it’ moment, nor will it come from anything materialistic.
My ‘I made it’ moment came in motherhood. Because RJ, my husband worked for that amazing job he has. Because of RJ, I found my purpose. I know that being home with my kids is where my heart found a home. When I had no friends (because all my friends are normal, and have kids at a regular age) I found comfort in the community of the women of the blogging, and social media world. Making connections with other moms from all walks of life, different backgrounds, all ages, is where I found my niche. Blogging and sharing my life with other teen moms is where I found sense of belonging.
It’s amazing when something is for you, it just falls into place. When I told my husband I wanted to get back into blogging, literally opportunity after opportunity rolled in. It’s like God patted me on my back, placed the right words in my heart, and whispered, “This is for you. Share your life, share your experiences, be a light where someone is in darkness. You got this boo!”.
I know this was a lot to read, but a girl got a lot to share! I’m so thankful for crossing paths with Catia, and being able to share my story with you all! Thanks for reading and remember; whether you’re a teen mom or not, everything happens for a reason. What may feel like the end of the world is potentially a blessing in disguise.
I call this, Becoming: Not another stereotyped teen mom.
Be sure to keep up with Aseky on her web site, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Ashely Solberg
Dearest beauties, my name is Ashley Solberg, and I’m the founder of She Is Blank Space. Myself and fifteen other ladies joined together to start a blog where we share about life, fashion, beauty and the things we love as moms. We believe there is strength in our stories as I learned strength in mine the hard way. Silently hiding behind my pain, I got nowhere, but once I spoke of what I had come through, I realized how much we need courage in ourselves to encourage others.
One day, I woke up.
No, not by the beeping of my alarm clock or my kids poking me in the side before sunrise, but I WOKE up.
My innermost being was so lost, confused, and just flat out blah.
Everyday…crickets.
I absolutely could not answer the question of who I was anymore. Sad, right? Yeah, I thought so too. This started a long downward before an upward one. It was a lot of questioning and addressing things I was holding onto before I could start moving forward. I dug in deep, cried a lot of tears from past hurts, anger, and whatever else I needed to face. This was hard for me, a person that seemingly had it all together, to admit defeat and that I was failing at “life.”
In general, nothing about life was bad. I had a wonderful husband, three beautiful children, a great paying salary job and by God’s grace, we’ve always had everything we needed. Something was missing though. That spark--I lacked passion and zeal. I allowed my light to be dimmed.
My bright light, little by little, diminished. The fight of infertility testing, waiting, hoping, with nothingness—dimmed. After finally achieving a long-awaited pregnancy, we found out we were having twins—my light started to come back. Five months into the pregnancy, one of our perfect, sweet girls had a portion of her amniotic sac break away and entangle her foot and cord. The day before fetal surgery, it caused her to go on from this life far too soon. I could not grieve, I had to carry her, I had to be strong for our baby still with us. I carried joy and sorrow for so long I didn’t know how to feel just one—light extinguished.
We named our daughter that was with us, Ella Joy, which means a bright light of joy. Every day I clung to her so tightly amidst my tears of thankfulness and sadness. For hours, I would just watch her breathe. Becoming a mother was everything I could have hoped for, I truly loved her with every fiber and then some. Every milestone first I was truly happy at watching her grow, but I also felt like someone was missing.
At my worst point, I guarded myself by avoiding going anywhere completely and when I did, fleeing as soon as I could to avoid a breakdown when someone asked the “are you ok?” question. I guess I knew if I allowed myself to truly process, it would hurt too bad, so I just kept going, delaying my grief even longer. The saddest part of all of it, is I knew better. I realized that battle would always be and I had a decision to make of how much I wanted to fight it.
When my daughter was 18 months old, I felt like I was ready to walk through the infertility treatments again towards another little one. Things happened much faster this time as we knew what treatment course worked. We were pregnant, and not just pregnant, but doubly pregnant. Yes, you heard that right…twins, twice. We were over the moon, but also fearful. This whole mix of emotions seemed to be a thing for us and I grew tired of it. A few months pregnant, I decided enough was enough and I was just going to be happy where we were at minus the fear part. I enjoyed every bit of the pregnancy and my little toddler sidekick by my side. The twins were born at 33 weeks, but being a NICU nurse at the time (funny how life’s seasons prepare you for what you need), I was comforted by my co-workers as I stayed by their side and stuffed them full of milk for nine days prior to going home.
Then, well…life. Along with experiencing the loss of our Emmy before, becoming an exhausted new mom again (I seriously don’t remember the babies first six months with that kind of tired), but mostly going through the motions and convincing myself I was ok where I was just trying to stay afloat.
Things were different last year when all this She Is Blank Space business started, and although I remembered those feelings, I needed to discover what God wanted for me right now instead of clinging to my past and those coulda-woulda-shoulda thoughts. I had a new perspective and needed to filter through what that all meant.
After the air finally cleared for me, it seemed like everyone I knew was fighting against things in their health, marriages, kids-- anything and everything.
And then it happened, this pivotal moment that caused everything to collide. I remembered. I remembered what it felt like to be a part of something bigger than me, I remembered the things I dreamed about as a teen that I wondered how they would happen, I remembered what it should mean to be a great friend.
Out of the normal for this fairly quiet individual, I posted a random video of encouragement for others as I was also speaking to myself. Out of my own path I was still walking, this door opened my heart for others again. Even as I pleaded for someone else to be picked, because surely, I was in no position to do this, I could not escape my butterflies. It became evident I just needed to jump into something REALLY out of my comfort zone. As someone with a supportive family and amazing circle, I knew that we were very blessed and not everyone had this. What better place to offer this to others than on a website that could reach far beyond what I could physically.
So, what to call this new venture? I was drawing a blank (see where I’m going?). How do I categorize this when I want it to reach all women in different phases of life? It was impossible to put a label on it, and one morning while changing one of the twins’ diaper, it came to me…”She Is Blank Space.” No, not the void kind of blank space, but the blank space gets filled in with something. She is…confident, a college gal, rocking at mommy’ing, learning to be whole...you get the idea. This name allows us to talk about things in the present, but also towards the future and what we are striving after as we walk the oh so many shoes we fill as women.
I knew I couldn’t do this alone as we all have a story to tell and I asked around fifteen other women to join alongside me. Some of us are married, mothers, others in college still finding out what we want in life, some love to exercise, some love fashion and so on. Can I just point out how amazing they all are? We are always better together as women supporting each other.
While you could give me all the fun parts of what we share like food and DIY all day, my hope for She Is Blank Space is for each woman to find community and encouragement from other women who have been there or are there. Although I wanted this to happen right away, we had to build our foundation and I also had to transition out of my full time job to devote the time needed. I knew it would happen, but in the meantime, remained faithful to my job as a nurse, staying up super late to prep things for the next day for posts and social media so I could use my break time to get them published. We started to bring in a steady stream of income between working with other companies and our shop, but it wasn’t quite lining up to my salary. Keep in mind, I was completely clueless about web and graphic design, traffic flow, utilizing social media for things other than posting pictures of my kids!
Around the nine month mark since our launch, it became clear we weren’t going to grow any farther until I had more time to give. With three kids five and under, being a wife, full time nurse and being involved in ministry, the only thing that could change was my job. So, I handed in my two weeks notice, which they were not happy about losing me, but understood. That leap was hard y’all; I knew the hubby and I could survive on Ramen noodles if we had to, but our kids could not. However, I had such peace knowing that this dream would not have given me without a way being made.
And boy did that happen. Money came in from a random account I had with my old job equivalent to a month's pay, one of my husband’s pay checks that never got deposited was discovered, our mortgage went down and so on. I remained baffled by this whole process, but it’s amazing to see seeds that have been planted over the course of my life blooming into something I never would have imagined for myself.
So here we are, right in the middle of this amazing venture, and it’s time. It’s time to dig in a little deeper, truly bringing realness, vulnerability, love. In a world full of perfect social media pictures, we are going to those places that are hard, but necessary for growth. As a person with a love of gardening, it’s easiest to explain it this way: before new blooms can be achieved on a tree or plant, you must trim back the branches. It seems like it doesn’t make any sense to “hurt” the plant, but it triggers it to say, “hey, I’ve got work to do, I’m stagnant, I’ve stopped growing, I’ve wilted, I need to wake up, I need to grow again.”
So how about we bloom together as we find our courage to become, ok? Life is far too short to be walked out without purpose or in dry, empty places. For you, your friends, your family-let’s jump into our dreams together and allow ourselves to be willing to hear and act upon the tugs of our hearts.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Ginger King Birnbaum
This is going to sound ridiculously oversimplified, but I just want to make things better. There is a childlike wonder in that-it comes off in an idyllic sense. But there really is no other way to put it. I have, and have always had, an inner drive to make things better.
I have always been drawn to the greater good. In fact, the thing that scares me the most is that I would leave this Earth without making a difference. Some people have a bucket list full of grand adventures, but mine is mostly full of making a difference and leading others to do the same.
When my second child, King, was born we found out that he would be living with cystic fibrosis, a chronic progressive disease that can lead to respiratory failure. You can only imagine that for a person who just wants to make things better it was deeply devastating, at first.
Even with my first child, Emma Virginia, who was born perfectly healthy, I had fallen into a deep postpartum depression. Just in case you need a visual: me, a glider, a large box of graham crackers, and one very nervous husband + a (beautiful, precious, amazing;) crying baby. My husband attempted to remove the box of graham crackers (perhaps to motivate me to leave the room!) and I cried, “please don’t take them-they’re all that I have.” We laugh about it now, but it was clear that I needed some real help to overcome my depression!
Fast forward 3 years, and I was very worried that I would wind up in the same place. It was like I had to stare myself down to move past the sadness of my child’s diagnosis.
I remember clearly finding a shift in my lens that clarified it all, and I do mean all. None of us knows what the next minute or day or year holds. My biggest fear was that I was going to lose my child, and I just couldn’t see past that. I came to realize that death is inevitable, after all. None of us will escape it, none of us will capture it, and we certainly won’t be invited to design it. If we live in an absolute, obsessive cycle of trying to control everything then we won’t be present for all the parts that constitute a life.
I will always be grateful that I was presented with the opportunity to understand that so early in life. The lesson came with plenty of heartbreak, but it also forced me to live my life in color. I also think, I hope, that it made me a better mother to both of my children.
Now, I already told you that I thrive on making things better.
Cystic Fibrosis is a disease that lives and breathes and changes at the knee of modern medicine. Drugs have been made available that change the disease at the cellular level! Over 50% of people living with CF are over the age of 18. That’s like out.of.this.world amazing! As I learned more about the advances in research the gloves came off, and I went to work. While I was fearful for my child, I also felt incredibly lucky that our family was being given this tremendous opportunity to plug into the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation community and make a difference.
Fundraising, advocating, event planning, hiking, walking, leading, sharing, crying, laughing, meeting, connecting…if you are picturing a roller coaster then you’ve read correctly! That’s what our family does to make a long-term difference…for all people living with CF.
Pills, feeding tubes, medications, machines, calories, crying, laughing, planning, hospitalizations, surgeries, doctor visits, researching…our own personal roller coaster. That’s what our family does to sustain King’s health.
For the longest time sustaining King’s health was the cycle that moved me day in and day out. It became my reality. I knew that if I kept him well, and worked furiously toward a cure at the same time, a positive parallel might well emerge. The fear and sadness that I experienced upon his diagnosis was becoming more of a distant memory.
What I was not prepared for was the threat of our access to affordable and adequate health care being terminated. Our family benefits from the Affordable Care Act since we purchase our insurance on the exchange. Through the ACA we pay a whopping $40,000 a year, unsubsidized. A deal it is not, but to go without insurance as a whole would be financially devastating and would be a roadblock to sustaining King’s health.
The more that I learned about the ACA and the health care industry in general, the more I committed myself to ensuring that all Americans have access to affordable and adequate health care. It is unconscionable to me that anyone would consider pulling at the very fabric of someone else’s life.
There is no federal budget important enough to send families into bankruptcy for purchasing life-saving medications. There is no federal budget important enough to cause a child to go without their parent because their family couldn’t afford chemotherapy. There is no federal budget important enough to cause those with a disability to go without benefits.
And so I set out to tell anyone and everyone that would listen about the importance of health care. Some lawmakers did not want to listen to me. Some friends misunderstood me.
Here’s the good news: Many friends understood me. Many others spoke out. Many lawmakers do listen.
Humanity is too important, too precious to ignore. As the mother of a child with a chronic illness it is my duty to shine a light on this issue. I won’t be enough though, and I know that.
Once again, faced with the potential darkness at the end of the road, I’ve learned a really important lesson. The more I try to shine my light, the more I come to love and appreciate those around me.
I take comfort in knowing that I have traversed some scary valleys before and come out on the other side to a life lived in full color. A smart woman taught me that lesson once.
--
Guys, I know you want to know more...because I did!! So I asked Ginger a few extra questions. Here's what she had to say.
What job did you have before advocacy?
So you know this isn't really a job for me, right? Nothing I do gets me paid. I'm 100% volunteer advocate, event planner, and fundraiser. You could say that I am a professional volunteer:) I think I will go back to work eventually, but the conundrum of child care + work has not made sense yet.
The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is not the only group I volunteer with. After Emma Virginia was born, I knew that I wanted to spend my time giving back to my community and connecting with my community. I had to give some of that "work" up once King was diagnosed and I knew I needed to focus mostly on CF.
Currently, I have leadership roles and do volunteer work with the Center for Mindful Living, Junior League of Chattanooga, Lookout Mountain School (PTA President this year because girrrrrl clearly I don't have enough going on:), and local and national roles with the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.
CFF roles-Other than Advocacy, I am the local Board President, Chair of Three Blind Wines (local fundraiser), Founder of Kenneth King's Believers National Family Team, National Family Team Program Co-Chair, Great Strides Leadership Council Chair, and I just Co-Chaired the National Volunteer Leadership Conference (which was AWEsome!).
I really started focusing a lot on Advocacy because I had no choice + I enjoy it. For several years, I have joined a large group of CF Advocates for the CFF sponsored March on the Hill where we share our stories with Congress and Senate. With the repeal of the ACA I knew that I needed to be more involved year-round. Literally, if these bills go through I don't know what we will do for King.
What does a normal day look like?
A normal day in our house is anything but! King requires hours of respiratory therapy which include 3 inhaled medications and a vest that shakes him to get the mucus to loosen in his lungs. He also has to be hooked up to a feeding tube every night. It has become our normal, but it certainly colors the way that we go about our day. This year he and Emma Virginia are both at Lookout Mountain School in Kindergarten and third grade. It has definitely changed the flow of schedule with them being out of the house for so many hours. I have been spending a lot of time at the school since I am PTA President this year-it's been tons of fun! Some people say that they will never do things like that, but I always knew that I would want to give of my time in that capacity. It's so special to be a part of the school community.
And how did you get through PPD?
By the grace of God, a supportive family, the right medication, meditation and yoga, and sometimes I'm not sure that it really is over. I literally had to learn to breathe again after King was diagnosed. That sounds crazy, but it is 100% true. That is one of the main reasons that I agreed to join the Board at the Center for Mindful Living. It saved me in a lot of ways. Pausing sounds like it is such a simple thing to do, but it is not. I think the whole world could benefit from pausing and breathing and just slowing down in general. I go 90 miles a minute, but I also try hard to listen to my body and mind.
Oh my gosh. Isn't Ginger a force?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can contribute to Cystic Fibrosis or learn more here and you can jump on the support train for Kenneth, Ginger's son here on Facebook.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Dala Thomas McDevitt
“If you can’t tolerate critics, don’t do anything new or interesting” –Jeff Bezos.
I had done everything I was supposed to. Graduated high school with honors and got into the University of Texas at Austin. Responsibly worked throughout college and maintained a 3.8 GPA. Graduated in 4 years and got a job as a Labor & Delivery Nurse. Took out a lease on a Honda Civic, and began paying off the impressive student loan debt I had accrued in my pursuit of happiness. I hated Mondays and drank on Fridays, just like everyone else.
My life was cookie-cutter perfect on the outside, but inside there was an ever-present emotion of discontent and disconnect with “who” I was. Recently out of a bad relationship and living alone for the first time in my life, there was never a better time for a fresh start. With little idea about what was going to make me happier, I decided to eat healthier and workout, as these were seemingly the societal go-to’s to “feel better”. It’s always the small things that end up being the bravest and biggest steps to self-discovery.
When I cut out the crap food, I wasn’t so tired all the time. When I cut out the alcohol, I wasn’t so hungover each morning. When I started working out, it sparked a relationship with my body that wasn’t rooted in shame and self-consciousness. As my body healed, my mind was revitalized and suddenly filled with curiosity and creativity. Now willingly rising with the sun each morning, I increased my productive time by 30% and had to seek out new hobbies. Because health had been the catalyst to this awakening, I dove deeper into the subject.
Knowledge became my mentor, my body my subject, experimentation my best friend, and, interestingly, Instagram my medium of expression. I voraciously explored audiobooks, documentaries, articles, blogs, YouTube videos, anything that helped me learn more about the mind-body connection and how to enhance it. I shared my experiences through Instagram, becoming increasingly open and public about my journey, my trails, and my errors.
My acquisition of knowledge slowly engulfed previously unreachable beliefs of self-worth, self-love, mindfulness, meditation, revolutionary ideas of sexuality, and the overwhelming realization that love is most powerful of all.
I was happier, healthier, more confident, and more positive than I had ever been in my life, so you can imagine my surprise when I began receiving more negativity from others than ever before.
I was told that my new comfortability with my body was slutty, that my fervor for health was an eating disorder, that my positive rhetoric was a guised cry for help, that my aversion to alcohol and junk food was seeded in obsessive vanity, that my new lotus tattoo was impulsive and self-destructive, and my new hair cut my Britney Spears meltdown moment. It was remarkable to see how many were threatened by my campaign to like myself.
How am I supposed to keep doing what is making me happy if my loved ones are telling me I’m in desperate need of help? Don’t they know me better than anyone? Shouldn’t I listen to them? Aren’t they just trying to help me?? The alienation I felt was profound.
As I submitted to the dark loneliness I perceived to be inevitable, I was shocked to find the loneliness was more of welcoming adventure. I was content to be alone because I, for the first time, enjoyed the company. I was okay exploring my next steps without the consultations and opinions of others because I didn’t feel I needed their approval anymore.
What a revelation! My name is Dala Thomas: I like myself, I trust myself, and I have within me the courage to become the very best and most loving woman I can be.
I used social media and devoted myself to disseminating ideas of positive body image and self-love, to the creation of meal plans and workout programs to guide others in improving health, and to online coaching so that perhaps I could help other alienated women feel safe and supported.
I began to live differently, to dress differently, to carry myself differently and to speak of myself differently as the joy I felt impregnated all facets of my life. I was bursting with affection and inspiration, and knew that I was never hurting anyone else despite what problems some took up with my new lifestyle.
I had finally learned how to share my light with the world, and it was this light that found Sean and brought him to me.
Strangers on social media became my closest allies. They did not ever know the “before” Dala, only the one they saw in front of them and therefore had no inherent aversion to my transformation. The only difference between these humans and the ones originally in my life was that they did not have to endure or understand change.
As a year came and went, I saw friends and family re-enter my life when the danger they purported disintegrated to a faint illusion. I thought accepting them again after so long would be difficult, but there was now so much peace in my life that forgiveness was second nature.
The most challenging part of my journey was finding the courage to become something other than what my closest friends and family already knew me as. People will warn you not to embark on a new journey, but only because they cannot yet see your destination, and fear is the most powerful motivator of all. Your path may go against the grain of your peers, but that not does mean it is wrong. The road to self-discovery may at times be lonely, but it is better to know yourself than to know a hundred others. Act in love, and you will never be lost.
This self-realized, joyful, life-giving women is what I had to find the courage to become. The “what” is not important here; we all can and should become thousands of different things. Courage itself is the vital ingredient, giving life to your dreams and a blind eye to doubt. Muster the courage to get to know yourself, and you will find your “what”. Then share it with the world and realize the true potential of how beautiful you can be.
Dala is partnering with Kendra Scott on September 6th. Kendra Scott is giving back %20 of proceeds to Hospitals! I will be there, Dala will be there and so will other amazing women. We'd love to see you there!
Kendra Scott - September 6th - 6-8pm - South Congress Location - Austin, Texas
If you'd like to keep up with Dala, and why wouldn't you? She is seriously so uplifting and empowering - find her on Instagram or on her web site. Side note - I am a student of her Booty Program - and IT WORKS! (Not sponsored - just genuinely enthusiastic) :)
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Chef Keesha + Chef Gloriana | Kitchun
This Season of The Courage to Become to SO exciting!!!! More than ever I am grateful to be surrounded by strong women with amazing stories of grit, determination and HOPE.
We are kicking off Season 2 by shining a spotlight on Chef Keesha and Chef Gloriana, friends and founders of Kitchun, a company focused on providing tasty, grain-free foods.
Tonight we are doing this conversation style!
Tell us a little bit about yourself:
Chef Keesha:
I am married to my best friend of the last 14 years. We met in the military and within 3 months we were married. The best spontaneous decision I have ever made and I have made several! I have 3 wonderful, active, supportive children. I am a creative and always seeking to create the next best thing. I spend many nights dreaming of recipes and wake up the next day to make them happen. I am a Certified LeCordon Bleu Trained Pastry Chef, serial entrepreneur and health and fitness enthusiast.
Chef Gloriana:
I am a Wife (we met when we were 16), a mother of 2 incredible little boys and one beautiful baby girl. I am also a Le Cordon Bleu Pastry Chef, a creative entrepreneur and health and fitness is very important to me.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
Chef Keesha:
I have always dreamt of leaving a legacy.
And I have always been afraid of: Starting a business and attaching huge expectations of success to it. I think starting a business was the easy part... the "scary yet exciting" part has been committing to success of it. While cliché but true -- the easiest way to fail is to not even try. So ideally I fear not trying more than anything.
Chef Gloriana:
One thing I always knew I wanted to do was be my own boss. It can be scary to take on a business of your own -- with all of the responsibility on you. Luckily I have an incredible business partner and we help each other every day to get through the trials of business ownership and learning something new every day.
How did it feel getting started?
Chef Keesha:
Getting started was exciting...at times it was like "wow, we are really doing this. Creating the recipes, the design process all of the fun stuff. But there was a lot of on the job training as well. I have always had the attitude of I can do anything...so I spent a lot of time reading, studying and researching the things we needed to - to start and run the business.
Chef Gloriana:
Getting started was the exciting part -- because we didn't know all the really hard stuff ahead!
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started?
Chef Keesha:
I think our obstacles have always been what we don't know. But they are just that...obstacles to overcome and grow from.
Chef Gloriana:
Obstacles for us have always been that we are creatives that have no business background so everything is new to us and we have to roll with the punches... and a lot of them feel like actual punches!
What motivates you to continue Kitchun?
Chef Keesha:
Much of my motivation comes from my family. I come from humble beginnings and decided a very long time ago that I would change that for myself, my Mom and now for my children. It has taken me many years to figure out exactly what it is that I passionately love to do. But better NOW than never.
Chef Gloriana:
Motivation for me is my children. I love that they get excited to see Mommy’s face in the grocery store aisle and get excited. Truthfully it feels pretty good to me too. I want my friends and family to see me working hard and that it is paying off -- and to be proud.
Which living person do you most admire?
Chef Keesha:
This is a difficult one, because I admire so many people for different reasons. Of course my Mother because of the strength I was able to witness as a kid and now as a mother myself.
My husband for his unconditional love for me and my dreams, other female entrepreneurs that have rocked the minds of so many...like Oprah Winfrey...who wouldn't admire her!
Chef Gloriana:
I tend to admire people who face a lot of challenges and overcome. Resilience is key. And my Mom is one of the most resilient people I know.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Chef Keesha:
Singing! But God knows best. HA
Chef Gloriana:
I would love to play a musical instrument.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Chef Keesha:
Lovingly Driven
What is your motto?
Chef Keesha:
I have two mottos that ring in my head at the same time. One from a Secret commercial my Aunt was in as a kid (another one of my most admired individuals) "NEVER LET THEM SEE YOU SWEAT" meaning always stay composed in each and every situation good or unpleasant. And the second one from motivational speaker Eric Thomas "WINNERS WIN" meaning do the little things each day towards your success and leave nothing to question.
Chef Gloriana:
"Lift your head princess or else your crown will fall". A little reminder to me to keep my head held high even in difficult situations.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Chef Keesha:
Personally I would have to say my family. My husband and I have committed to giving our children the best that we can, we push ourselves and each other to fulfill our own personal dreams as well as build up our children to accomplish any and all they choose to.
In regard to Kitchun, the universe saw fit to place me in a culinary class with an amazing young lady (Gloriana) who became a great friend and then business partner. Together we have combined our dream of being business owners and have created, developed and nurtured the company that we have now. To date it is our greatest business accomplishment with so much more to be revealed.
Chef Gloriana:
At home: My family, my husband and our children. I love them with every bit of my heart and I'm proud and GRATEFUL that I have that.
In business: Still making it happen every day! This is a tough business and we are challenged EVERY DAY but we keep pushing forward with success. Our 1ST Place win for HEB’S Quest for Texas Best was a pretty big accomplishment as well. We are now in 138 HEB stores!!
What are some hopes you have for your future?
Chef Keesha:
To be amongst some of the most influential female business owners of my time. For Kitchun to grow to its full potential of being a household name, filling a need in the healthy snacking market and serving a greater humanitarian purpose.
Chef Gloriana:
I hope that this business venture eventually leads to us being a household name and the ability to spend more time with my family.
What's one piece of advice you'd give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Chef Keesha:
Step out on faith and out of your comfort zone. Never fear failure, it is how we overcome the failures that make the success story so much sweeter. Make a decision to: WIN, CHANGE THE SITUATION, BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE!
Chef Gloriana:
Always ask a lot of questions to everyone! People are surprisingly willing to help when you admit you don’t know something. Also, "know what you don’t know" so you know when to ask for help. And above all, be resilient.
--
To keep up with these awesome ladies hop on over to Facebook and Instagram!
And don't forget to grab a bag of their snacks while you're at your local HEB. They are on my grocery list every week!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
