The Courage to Become | Katie Taylor
Hi, I’m Katie.
I think I may get personal with this, which is kind of unlike me. I love talking about what I do: I’m a mom, a wife, a child life specialist, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a blogger and even a podcast host. I’m actually pretty proud of myself about all these things, I worked REALLY hard for a lot of them, so I love talking about them. But, rarely, do I talk about a part of my life that was incredibly transformative:
I got divorced.
A lot of people look at me, like, YOU?! You got DIVORCED? Yep, sure did. And, to say it was a difficult part of my life is an understatement. To say it was a “valley” doesn’t go deep enough. To say it was the hardest decision I’ve ever made… well, that may be pretty accurate.
And the truth is that I will never say that I regret getting married (the first time), because as much as a cliche as it is, I learned so much about myself.
So when Catia asked me to write in her Courage to Become series, I originally thought that I’d talk about following my dream of being a child life specialist and then creating an opportunity to host a podcast, but that would be too easy. However, talking about the Courage to Become Myself, which is what I did that day in 2012 when I moved out of the home I shared with my ex-husband, is hard as hell.
I let a lot of people down when my marriage ended. Him, his family, mutual friends, my own friends who didn’t understand and wedding guests that had spent hundreds of dollars to attend my wedding across the country barely a year before. For a Type 2 Enneagram “Need to be Needed” person (I learned this in marriage counseling the first go round), letting people down KILLED me. Literally, it felt like a knife in my stomach every time the thought crossed my mind.
But, with the help of a counselor, I took a step back and looked at my relationship for what it was and what it was giving to me. It wasn’t doing much for me. So with a family behind me who supported me unconditionally, I took a step away.
Yes, I’m incredibly lucky that I had a safety net of people with their arms wrapped around me, but the truth is, what I did took courage. I stepped away from what I thought was a sure-thing, the-rest-of-my-life, secured-future and I went into the unknown.
Leaving was lonely as hell, even with a friend in the same apartment building as me. Even with a boss and friend who opened their arms and their homes and took me in the week I left. Even with a mom and dad who flew to my city to help me move, it was lonely. I cried a lot. Going to bed alone, watching House Hunters (I had always pictured how the two of us would be in a house), only pouring one cup of coffee.
But, that part was the valley for me, and the good part about the valley is that there is a peak afterward. I continued seeing a counselor, I poured myself into work, and I vowed that if I ever loved again (which I thought would never happen), I would make sure that the person I loved truly loved me for everything that I was. If he didn’t, no big deal, he just wouldn’t be right for me. As terrifying as it was to leave, I truly left stronger than I did entering that relationship.
I thought that dating would be scary, it had been so long since I had thought about someone else in a loving way. Of course it was in some ways, but in others, it wasn’t… because I was dating FOR ME. If they weren’t interested, I had nothing to lose, I had already lost it all. If they didn’t meet my expectations, no big deal, I’d just say goodbye.
I guess I just had come to the conclusion that it will only take ONE person to meet the expectations I had set for my life. Just one. My expectations were no longer “too high,” because they were mine, I determined them based on the life that I wanted. And that was incredibly freeing.
So, while I continue to go on this journey of the Courage to Become… Me, I am proud of myself for stepping into the unknown and leaving the comfortable. Because of the path I chose, I’m now on the road to living my best life, with a husband by my side who met every “high” expectation I had (with ease), with a son who brings me more joy than my heart could ever dream of, and with a career that fulfills my soul on a daily basis. Yes, there are valleys, yes there are challenges, but it seems as though treading through the dark parts has consequently brought me to the light.
Guys, Katie is full of heart. She DEFINITELY makes the world a better place.
To listen to her amazing podcast - click here. You can find, Child Life On Call, on Facebook and Instagram and iTunes of course!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Amber Ford Anderson
The Courage to Become a Relationship Coach
As a wedding planner, I’m often asked if I have many bridezillas. My answer is always “more momzillas than anything” and yup, it’s true. The mommas are living vicariously through their daughters and it’s batty. Like get a grip woman. I’m sorry you only had cake and punch in the chapel but no one forced you to save sixty grand for your daughter so just stop. In my opinion, that chapel wedding you had in the 70s was probably darling and perfectly all it needed to be. And even if it was the horrible day of your memories, why make this one so hard on everyone?
There are so many stories I could tell. I’ve started a book actually. It’s so snarky and riddled with my own attitude that I could never publish it under my own name. So for now, it’s just free therapy and a diary that I hope holds me accountable to the way I treat service professionals across other industries.
My overall assessment is that weddings and engagement are so high stress that they bring out the worst in people. Perfection is not just expected, it’s demanded. The mindset of many clients is unrealistic, selfish and sometimes even dangerous. I’ve had two clients insist on things that would have put their guests in harm’s way. Who does that? It’s a little ridiculous that my lawyer had to draft a clause in my contract about minding basic safety. Like lightening. No, we will not conduct your ceremony, by a running creek, under an oak tree in a lightening storm. I’m sorry that’s so hard to imagine.
I spent the first half of my career in weddings being beaten to a pulp by clients that just didn’t get it. Horrible humans that treated me like a door mat. I could have hung the moon or written a step by step guide on how to win the lottery and they would still come back saying I got it wrong….because you know, they only won a million, not two million.
I would give and give and they would take until I had nothing more to give and they still weren’t happy. I neglected my family, I worked more hours than I knew possible and I was so overwhelmed.
Until one day when I had the courage to say “enough!” I put on my #bossbabe pants, put my foot down and took back control of my life and business. My first step was to realize that as a start-up, I’d accepted any joker willing to pay the bills. But that wasn’t going to work anymore. As I started to unpack the nitty gritty about the clients I did love working with, I realized they were all just like me. I mean, I think I’m pretty great so it’s no wonder I was liking those clients.
I made a mental shift when talking to potential clients, I began interviewing them. Because newsflash people: the customer is not always right and sometimes, biz owners get to decide if they want to work with you. It goes both ways. I began interviewing clients for emotional intelligence and everything changed.
To find clients that I enjoyed, I began really putting myself out there. Turns out, not everyone likes me but the ones that do, oh man… we have an awesome time! We are a great fit, things go super well and they sing my praises.
My courage to become meant saying YES to being comfortable with me and who I am.
Simple as it sounds, take me or leave me.
I like you, I’d love to work with you, but I don’t need you unless you need me. I stopped fitting a mold. I stopped batting my eyelashes like I was on a pathetic first date and I broke the rules by turning my website into a reflection of me. Snarky, prophetic, to the point, fun and transparent in my faith. Now, by the time clients contact me, they have me on their short list and have already mapped out a way to afford my services. I don’t have to “convince” them and I’m never asked for discounts anymore. They see my value, because I see my value and I stand confident in it.
I absolutely love my clients now. They get me. I get them. We have fun. We are friends and I genuinely care about their relationships. They are healthy and doing well! I am cheering them on. But sadly, I have no doubt that quite a few of our first clients are surely divorced by now. I sent one bride down the aisle and in no less than five minutes they were clapping and heading to the reception hall. My reaction: Uh, did you give those vows half a brain cell of thought? In my mind, I gave them all of a year before tanking.
And this one time, I experienced such a big blow out over where a cake table would go that it’s etched in my memory forever. It literally didn’t matter, there were so many great choices and they were in a relationship combat zone trying to decide. I would wonder why certain couples were together, they never seemed happy. I knew it wasn’t my place to say anything but gosh it was hard biting my tongue.
As I started to notice this shift in clientele, I realized I was facing some real opportunity. As I began to book more and more healthy clients, I was seeing the stark contrast and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I have an audience desperate to succeed in their relationships.
I never had to bite my tongue, I can see that now. I can blog about relationships and post tips and advice on Instagram and it means something. My only regret is not having realized this opportunity until now.
So for the last few months, I’ve been training to become a relationship coach through a program called SYMBIS (saving your marriage before it starts). Tell me it’s not ironic that every time I sat down to study, my husband and I would get in some tiff and I would be struck with doubt. Who am I to offer “wisdom”? What if I fail at all the things I teach? But then I am reminded of the things our marriage has endured and I ask “who am I to withhold this wisdom?”
As a wedding planner, my focus will obviously be on engaged women. I want to share my stories, relationship tips and create content for women to evaluate the health of their relationship and empower them to be strong equals with their partners.
The content may seem obvious but there are angles that are often overlooked, like how lonely engagement can be. There is no one to talk to when a case of cold feet set in and I’m honored to be that person for my brides when they need it. To normalize those fears and be a sounding board.
I’ve always placed more emphasis on the marriage than the party but what if I had been more available to my old clients? What if I had shared my insight and hope?
I can’t live with “what ifs” but I’m so grateful for a business coach that gave me the courage to be ME. To set myself apart and serve my clients in a unique way. The shift has been life-giving and the possibilities from here are full of light and excitement.
I just loved Amber's piece. Can't you feel her strength?! To get more wisdom from Amber, follow Heavenly Day Events here and also on Facebook and on Pinterest! And if your or a loved ones needs some relationship coaching or an event planner, definitely contact her here!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Dala Thomas McDevitt
“If you can’t tolerate critics, don’t do anything new or interesting” –Jeff Bezos.
I had done everything I was supposed to. Graduated high school with honors and got into the University of Texas at Austin. Responsibly worked throughout college and maintained a 3.8 GPA. Graduated in 4 years and got a job as a Labor & Delivery Nurse. Took out a lease on a Honda Civic, and began paying off the impressive student loan debt I had accrued in my pursuit of happiness. I hated Mondays and drank on Fridays, just like everyone else.
My life was cookie-cutter perfect on the outside, but inside there was an ever-present emotion of discontent and disconnect with “who” I was. Recently out of a bad relationship and living alone for the first time in my life, there was never a better time for a fresh start. With little idea about what was going to make me happier, I decided to eat healthier and workout, as these were seemingly the societal go-to’s to “feel better”. It’s always the small things that end up being the bravest and biggest steps to self-discovery.
When I cut out the crap food, I wasn’t so tired all the time. When I cut out the alcohol, I wasn’t so hungover each morning. When I started working out, it sparked a relationship with my body that wasn’t rooted in shame and self-consciousness. As my body healed, my mind was revitalized and suddenly filled with curiosity and creativity. Now willingly rising with the sun each morning, I increased my productive time by 30% and had to seek out new hobbies. Because health had been the catalyst to this awakening, I dove deeper into the subject.
Knowledge became my mentor, my body my subject, experimentation my best friend, and, interestingly, Instagram my medium of expression. I voraciously explored audiobooks, documentaries, articles, blogs, YouTube videos, anything that helped me learn more about the mind-body connection and how to enhance it. I shared my experiences through Instagram, becoming increasingly open and public about my journey, my trails, and my errors.
My acquisition of knowledge slowly engulfed previously unreachable beliefs of self-worth, self-love, mindfulness, meditation, revolutionary ideas of sexuality, and the overwhelming realization that love is most powerful of all.
I was happier, healthier, more confident, and more positive than I had ever been in my life, so you can imagine my surprise when I began receiving more negativity from others than ever before.
I was told that my new comfortability with my body was slutty, that my fervor for health was an eating disorder, that my positive rhetoric was a guised cry for help, that my aversion to alcohol and junk food was seeded in obsessive vanity, that my new lotus tattoo was impulsive and self-destructive, and my new hair cut my Britney Spears meltdown moment. It was remarkable to see how many were threatened by my campaign to like myself.
How am I supposed to keep doing what is making me happy if my loved ones are telling me I’m in desperate need of help? Don’t they know me better than anyone? Shouldn’t I listen to them? Aren’t they just trying to help me?? The alienation I felt was profound.
As I submitted to the dark loneliness I perceived to be inevitable, I was shocked to find the loneliness was more of welcoming adventure. I was content to be alone because I, for the first time, enjoyed the company. I was okay exploring my next steps without the consultations and opinions of others because I didn’t feel I needed their approval anymore.
What a revelation! My name is Dala Thomas: I like myself, I trust myself, and I have within me the courage to become the very best and most loving woman I can be.
I used social media and devoted myself to disseminating ideas of positive body image and self-love, to the creation of meal plans and workout programs to guide others in improving health, and to online coaching so that perhaps I could help other alienated women feel safe and supported.
I began to live differently, to dress differently, to carry myself differently and to speak of myself differently as the joy I felt impregnated all facets of my life. I was bursting with affection and inspiration, and knew that I was never hurting anyone else despite what problems some took up with my new lifestyle.
I had finally learned how to share my light with the world, and it was this light that found Sean and brought him to me.
Strangers on social media became my closest allies. They did not ever know the “before” Dala, only the one they saw in front of them and therefore had no inherent aversion to my transformation. The only difference between these humans and the ones originally in my life was that they did not have to endure or understand change.
As a year came and went, I saw friends and family re-enter my life when the danger they purported disintegrated to a faint illusion. I thought accepting them again after so long would be difficult, but there was now so much peace in my life that forgiveness was second nature.
The most challenging part of my journey was finding the courage to become something other than what my closest friends and family already knew me as. People will warn you not to embark on a new journey, but only because they cannot yet see your destination, and fear is the most powerful motivator of all. Your path may go against the grain of your peers, but that not does mean it is wrong. The road to self-discovery may at times be lonely, but it is better to know yourself than to know a hundred others. Act in love, and you will never be lost.
This self-realized, joyful, life-giving women is what I had to find the courage to become. The “what” is not important here; we all can and should become thousands of different things. Courage itself is the vital ingredient, giving life to your dreams and a blind eye to doubt. Muster the courage to get to know yourself, and you will find your “what”. Then share it with the world and realize the true potential of how beautiful you can be.
Dala is partnering with Kendra Scott on September 6th. Kendra Scott is giving back %20 of proceeds to Hospitals! I will be there, Dala will be there and so will other amazing women. We'd love to see you there!
Kendra Scott - September 6th - 6-8pm - South Congress Location - Austin, Texas
If you'd like to keep up with Dala, and why wouldn't you? She is seriously so uplifting and empowering - find her on Instagram or on her web site. Side note - I am a student of her Booty Program - and IT WORKS! (Not sponsored - just genuinely enthusiastic) :)
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Betsy Pake
I’ve always been a ‘doer’. My whole life I liked lists and forms and a specific outline for how to ‘do’. Which is why I find my journey so comical because nothing about it has followed a path that could be written on a check list.
Like most women, I wear lots of hats. I’m a mom and a wife and a dreamer of big things. I’m a writer and I love to help people get in touch with their passion and purpose to live authentically. I do this by helping them ‘Start Small to Live Big’.
I’ve tried a lot of different things over the years, and had some great successes. I built a career in sales and owned my own business, I did some incredible things with my fitness, ran a marathon and won bronze medal in the Pan American games in Olympic Lifting and owned a CrossFit gym.
But it wasn’t until my daughter started having extreme anxiety that I found my true purpose. She was eleven and was having anxiety attacks at school. After going from doctor after doctor, I learned it was her amygdala, that controls your freeze, fight or flight response, that gets over stimulated and causes her to have these attacks even when there is no real threat or danger.
I was working as a nutrition coach at the time, and I recognized this same thing in my clients but on a much smaller scale. I would ask them to do something outside of their comfort zone, something that would make them grow, and they froze. When we would do our follow up a week later, they would tell me they wanted to do it, but they had some resistance they couldn’t explain.
It was how my daughter explained her anxiety, just on a smaller scale.
So I started experimenting with both my daughter and my clients, giving them something SO small that they could basically tip toe past their amygdala. If they went small enough, that freeze, fight or flight response was never triggered and each time they did something new they effectively pushed the threshold farther and farther.
My clients started doing things they never thought they could do before, and my daughter was having success too. Today, she goes to the biggest high school in Georgia, with over 4,000 kids, and thrives.
I believe that we are all candles, but we have to fall into the darkness to know what we were really meant for.
I think that is what happened with me. As this was unfolding, I realized my purpose was much bigger than I originally anticipated and I decided to make the leap to do this work and I pushed my business of nutrition coaching aside. It was so exciting and so terrifying all at the same time.
I was building steadily with my nutrition business, had a best selling book on Amazon and although I wasn’t living large with my paychecks, I felt happy knowing I was contributing to our family. But something never felt right. It was scary to leave that small cocoon of security and turn my back on that path. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t the direction I was truly meant to be on and when my true path became clear, I recognized it and took the leap.
When I decided to change my focus, I had deep discussions with my husband about my plans. We determined a time frame that I could be without income and what I thought my steps should be. I was realistic and as we’ve reached each benchmark, we’ve talked and made decisions together.
I slowly closed my nutrition business, as each client felt successful and graduated, I didn’t replace them with someone else. I wrote a new book about my work with Starting Small called Start Small, Live Big: Thrive through change to live the life of your dreams. I started speaking, sharing at schools, talking to anyone who would listen! I feel like I have a great message that can help people and as the mission became clear, it became easier and easier to see the path.
I am still growing and changing every day. Some days I feel like the things I’ve learned in the past few months could fill up another book entirely. I’ve learned that growth isn’t for the weak and if you’ve got a mission to help people you have to be willing to deal with some of the hard stuff in your own life too.
One of my biggest obstacles has been staying in my zone of genius. When we are getting started as entrepreneurs we have to do lots of things that we aren’t great at because we may not have the money to outsource those things right away. I find doing ‘batch’ days really helps me. This is where I focus on just recording my podcasts, or just writing blog posts, or just creating graphics for an entire day. It keeps me focused and if its something I don’t enjoy, I don’t have to dread it day after day, I just get it out of the way all at once. This process really helps my creativity and staying positive, which is vital for someone working for themselves.
Someone I really admire is Glennon Doyle Melton. She’s an author, a truth teller and an incredible speaker. She took a dark time in her life, learned from it and now shares with others so we don’t all feel so alone. I think being that authentic is a special gift.
One talent I wish I had was to be able to sing! I sing in the car and in the shower, but when my daughter was young she heard me singing and started to cry. I knew right then there probably wasn’t a singing career in my future! I’m okay with that.
When my friends think of me, I think they probably think I’m super positive. I practice gratitude every day. There is so much goodness around us and our lives are truly what we focus on.
My motto is Start Small Live Big, because there is NOTHING you can’t accomplish if you break it down small enough. Nothing!
I’m most proud that I have raised such a kind daughter. I’ve asked her before, “What do you think I’d want most for your life?” She hesitated and said, “I was going to say happiness but I think it’s for me to be kind.” Absolutely. Kind people are happy people. Kind people are brave people. We have two choices in this world and two choices only; Love or Fear. Always shoot to choose love.
I hope in the future more roads will open up to me where I can work to serve others. Maybe it will be with more speaking opportunities and holding workshops or maybe in some other way I haven’t even thought of yet. I feel confident that my path is set, I just have to trust and take action on the ideas and opportunities that come to me.
One piece of advice I’d give to women who are just embarking on their journey is to figure out where you want to go and then set up small steps to get there! You can move mountains if you chunk it down. Take action when it comes to you. Ideas are little gifts from the universe so don’t let them pass you by. If you can’t take action right then, write them down and save them for later. You may not end up doing that exact action, but it may lead to some other creative path that is on your journey.
Find some mentors. If you can’t find them live, find them in books. There is so much to learn from others who have gone before you and although your path is unique, knowing that the challenges you face are universal and can be overcome will give you strength in the dark times.
I just LOVE Betsy's story - her piece is chock full of wisdom and encouragement!
Make sure to keep up with Betsy here:
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Carrie Maddux
Becoming A Mom
I always wanted to be a mom. I have often said that I felt my calling in life was to be a mom. I did not know how else to explain it.
In 2012, we welcomed our first baby girl. Although words couldn't describe my happiness, I was also plagued with postpartum blues, exhaustion, and adjusting to our new normal. Seriously, where are the parenting classes that teach you real life scenarios?
Once I settled into my new role as a stay at home mom, I realized it can be a bit isolating. There I was with everything I could possibly want. It was perfect on paper. Stay at home mom, loving husband, a healthy & beautiful newborn, but I felt alone on most days. So, I began to search for ways to get involved and have adult interaction.
Becoming an Austin Moms Blog Contributor
I quickly became a huge fan of Austin Moms Blog and followed their blogs from day one. I admired those women for being raw and sharing their real life mom moments. I noticed an open contributor call on Facebook one day and decided to apply for it. I always found writing to be very cathartic and thought this would be the perfect opportunity to do something for myself. Fortunately, they invited me to be a contributor and I had no clue how it would impact my life. Writing gave me a purpose and I quickly gained a new “village” of women to call my friends.We welcomed our second baby girl in 2014 and I did not experience any of the postpartum blues or isolation like I did the first time. Having a purpose and a village truly makes a difference!
Becoming My Stronger Self
In early 2016, my husband went through a transition with his job and it pushed us close to rock bottom. I can say with every ounce of my being that our love for one another is unbreakable after going through that obstacle together. We both admitted that going through a tough transition and losing your main source of income can create a lot of stress on a marriage and your family unit. Money doesn’t make you happy, but it definitely makes life easier. We learned to lean on each other and our faith.
Even when times get tough, you still have to show up and be a parent. You still have to pretend like everything is okay because my two and four year old need me. Life lessons have a way of knocking you to your knees and allowing you to stand up stronger than ever before. I did not let many people know about our situation. I am the usual smile and say everything is good type person; however, I remained sane thanks to my village.
See the common theme here?
My friends will tell you that I kept begging for a sign. I needed God to plant that sign in my front yard in big bold letters. “Let Go and Let God” was my motto. In June 2016, we relocated to Oklahoma for a job opportunity. I cried many nights about losing my village and starting over again. It wasn't just my husband and myself starting over. We now had two young girls that were going through this with us, however; it was the “sign” and fresh start we prayed over. We survived a big move with two toddlers and settled into our new home.
Like I mentioned above, I always said my calling had something to do with being a mom, but I did not know why. I began searching for a local blog similar to Austin Moms Blog, but could not find anything.
I so desperately wanted to find a resource in our new city, but kept coming up short. That is when I decided to purchase and start Tulsa Moms Blog. I have been known to be impulsive at times, but this was taking a huge leap out of my comfort zone. Writing behind a computer is one thing, but owning my OWN business? It was exhilarating and nerve racking at the same time.
Starting Tulsa Moms Blog allowed me to connect moms on and offline in our community and provide a positive resource for moms in all stages of life. I was getting ready to launch the blog and we got some bad news about my husband’s new job. Yes, we relocated our entire family for this job. I’ll spare you all of the details, but Tulsa turned into one big disaster. We lost our main source of income AGAIN, we made an investment into my new venture, and barely moved into our new home. We decided we had nothing to lose at this point and my husband applied for his dream job in Waco, TX.
Waco has always been near and dear to our hearts, so it wasn’t as spontaneous as it might come across. After a month, we decided to write it off and focus our attention to more local jobs. Then, on a random Thursday afternoon he got the call. They wanted him to come in and apply for the position. We finally had a glimmer of hope and words cannot express our happiness when they hired him!
I put Tulsa Moms Blog on hold and we relocated to Waco last month.
Since moving to Waco, God has clearly planted all of the signs here. That large sign in big bold letter that I was praying for is planted here. I have never been tested this much to rely on the cliche phrase “God will always provide”, but he does indeed.
Mamas let me tell you, having your spouse or partner truly HAPPY with his career is life changing in itself.
While Tulsa Moms Blog did not ever come to fruition, be on the lookout for Waco Moms Blog.
I am proud to be a part of City Moms Blog Network and passionate about connecting local moms together.
At the end of the day, you cannot teach adaptability and my girls showed me tremendous grace this past year. They pushed me to be a stronger version of myself and accept challenges head on. I look back on my younger self who once felt like an isolated new mom and cannot help but laugh. Although that is how I felt at the time, I had no idea the wild ride I would be on years later. Everything truly happens for a reason.
Cheers to 2017!
Essay by: Carrie Maddux
You can connect with Carrie on Instagram , Facebook and at Waco Moms Blog
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Crystal Ngumezi
The Courage to Become Set Apart
I had the courage to become set apart back in 2014, but allow me the opportunity to share with you how I got there:
I’m a Texas native with a Nigerian background. You don’t hear that often, now do you? I was born and raised in Houston, TX with a Nigerian upbringing; both my parents are from the country of Nigeria in West Africa, making me a product of immigrants. Growing up in Texas with Nigerian roots made for a very interesting childhood experience, one that I feel shaped me into the woman I am today. I learned that being different was okay, and that being different made me stronger and more qualified for the life that God had set up for me. My parents taught me that discipline and hard work would serve me well in the future, and as a young business-minded individual today, I can honestly say that it has.
Growing up, I always had a knack for mathematics and creativity, so when I was about 17 years old, I made the decision to pursue Mechanical Engineering as an undergraduate degree. In 2013, I received my B.S. in Mechanical Engineering from the University of Texas at San Antonio. During my undergraduate experience at UTSA, I was able to travel the country and intern for various companies during my summer breaks. After graduation, I received the opportunity to work for a notable fortune 500 company in Fort Worth, TX, as a manager in training, where I later became a full-time technical manager. In my young career, I’ve had the privilege of serving in 2 different managerial positions for 2 different companies. However, I can’t attribute my professional success to my own deeds. It has truly been the work of God moving in my life that provided me with these various opportunities to build my professional portfolio at such a young age.
With all of this being said, back to 2014, where my real story began:
In 2014, I made the radical decision to quit my day job and move back home to Houston, TX. I made this decision in order to pursue my purpose and to follow Christ. Sounds pretty crazy huh? Not quite.
At the time, I was doing pretty well for myself in my career. The money I earned was great, the benefits were awesome, and I was well taken care of as a younger employee.
So you might be left asking, “Why did you quit then?” Well, I’m happy you asked. The problem was that while working in my career, I experienced many internal struggles.
It was like I was at war with myself. I knew that God had a great calling on my life, but I didn’t know how my job and career at the time lined up with that calling. This internal war I experienced on the inside, along with many other battles I was facing simultaneously, led me into a state of mental depression. I literally became sick as a direct result of not following my purpose. I thought I would have been able to cope with this mental illness, but as I continued my work in that field, my depression became worse, and my desire to leave became stronger. When my depression started to affect my work, I knew I had a very important decision to make.
I knew the cause of my illness, and I knew it was severe. What I didn’t know was how I was going to make the critical decision to quit my job, and ultimately to leave my career. What made this decision even harder for me was that due to my success as a training manager, my job offered me a high raise and promotion. Talk about a test! Despite this tantalizing offer, I made the ultimate decision to decline and resign as a manager at that company. I chose to follow God’s will for my life and walk away from my career.
This was not an easy decision to make.
Moving back home was not in my plans - but it was in God’s plans. My friends and family were all in awe of my decision, but I knew that God was leading me. Despite the opposition I faced as a direct result of this decision, I had the courage to become Set Apart.
In The Bible, the term “set apart” means to be separated from what is common and deemed normal - to be chosen. The decision I made to leave what was familiar to me demanded my total surrender to what God had planned for me. I didn’t understand what I was walking into back then, but I knew that my life was radically about to be changed forever.
Now I know that for some of you reading this story, you may find the decision I made to quit my job quite questionable. It was a drastic move, but as a believer, I can truly attest to the fact that the decision I made back in 2014 saved my life.
Jesus saved my life, and he healed me from my mental depression.
Back in 2014, I made the decision to no longer live for myself, but instead to live for God and his purposes for my life. Through my radical obedience to God’s will, I found my true identity in Christ, and I experienced supernatural healing on multiple levels.
One of those levels being my mental health. The healing process I experienced as a direct result of following God’s will was not an overnight thing; God led me out of a state of depression and fear, and into a state of peace and serenity, through months of restoration. Because of my depression, I had forgotten what it was like to live free and victorious. The one thing I had put all of my trust and energy into - my mind, my smarts, and my intelligence - had ultimately failed me. I didn’t see a doctor, and I wasn’t prescribed any medication - God healed me. After God healed my mind, he began to heal my spirit, and ultimately the rest of my body.
In 2015, I began my spiritual walk with the Lord, and encountered various tests and trials along the way. I had my experience of dead ends, faulty relationships, and disappointments, all in an effort to show and to teach me how to follow Jesus the correct way. I’ve had my fair share of bumps and bruises along this journey, but God has always been in my corner cheering me on. He never gave up on me and he always encourages me to keep on fighting. When I would experience situations targeting my fleeting depression in the past, he would come through for me in ways I can’t even tell you. I am now learning how to trust and depend on God in every way. Due to the tests and trials I have experienced, I can honestly say that I have become a stronger woman and an ambassador of Faith.
And today I am joyful and blessed to be here. I can truly attest to the fact that God is faithful, and that He rewards those who diligently seek him. I’m still young and in my prime, but I can truly say that God has begun a good work in me. I can see the fruits of his work. He uses me to mentor young women, and to minister to people I would have never met otherwise. I’m now mentally, spiritually, and physically healthy, and I have peace in my life - not a worldly peace - but the peace that surpasses all understanding.
Whatever you are going through and whatever season you are in, know that God has a plan for you. He had a plan for me, and I would have never found it had I not sought his will. Don’t let fear rob you of experiencing and enjoying a great, purpose-filled life. It’s never too late to make the decision to follow Christ.
My hope in sharing my story with you is that you will take what I have experienced, and use it as fuel to activate your own personal desires to live in the life that God has called you to. I pursued purpose and it changed my life.
Thanks for reading, and God bless you.
Essay by: Crystal Ngumezi
From Crystal:
I have a blog on my online website, crystalngumezi.com, that I use to encourage people to live healthy lives, offering healthy recipes and ways to easily prepare them, along with posts encouraging women to live in the fullness of the Proverbs 31 woman, and informative tips for people pursuing purpose.
I also publish weekly devotionals on my other website, lifeloveandinspirationblog.com, where I teach Christians about Jesus, spreading The Gospel.
Apart from my personal websites, I’m a freelance writer on MyTrendingStories.com, where I write articles relating to business, news and technology. I’m also working on a non-profit organization for young women, which will provide them with professional mentorship and professional development training, scheduled to launch next year.
You can follow me on all social media platforms @crystalngumezi, and follow and like my Facebook page @CrystalNgumeziBlog.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Camaron Brooks
The Courage to Stand UP. Follow the yellow brick road and find your TRUTH.
Manifesting Mama - I am an uber- believer in the law of attraction. I am also a self-help junkie. I've definitely manifested things in my life. I wanted a cookie one day while working as a reporter for KRGV and no sooner did I make my mental request did a co-worker offer me one dripping with chocolate chips. Exactly what I ordered.
I dreamed about a job in TV news dating back to the fourth grade. I anchored a school-wide broadcast and loved it. I told everyone who would listen what I was going to do with my life. In college, I heard "that's tough to get into..." or "you really have to have the right look." I saw their faces. I witnessed the doubt. I kept working. I interned at CNN (once catching a glimpse of Larry King in the elevator.) I interned at KTLA and when the staffers announced a contest open to college students (including me) I applied. I told everyone at school to apply too. "Wouldn't it be so great if someone from Cal State Fullerton got picked?"
And they did! My first live shot for the contest was at the Staples Center at an L.A. Clippers game. I kept advancing as the contest continued. I met the members of the 90’s band Smash Mouth, the Los Angeles Times printed my picture. Brian McKnight even asked if I needed a ride after a tapping. I said, "No, thank you." I had a boyfriend. I also secretly hoped he didn't see my car. Zip ties held the bumper of my green Honda Civic on in two places. The winner won $25,000 dollars. I made it to the finals placing second. As the runner-up, I got a Jack in the Box Ciabatta.
That was ten years ago. The footage helped me land my first TV job in Midland, TX. I drove that beat up Honda across four states a few months later. It was tough. I grew through major self-doubt for two years before I started looking for my next job. I applied to nearly 100 jobs during the great recession. I finally found a job at KRGV in 2009. The Rio Grande Valley felt like home. I learned so much about life and myself. I made great friends and I stretched until I was 29-years-old and practically prancing around the Channel 5 newsroom talking about how I wanted a family. I wanted babies. I told everyone. I made vision boards and started seeing a counselor, a life coach and read lots of self- help and prayed. (Not to spoil the ending but... My vision came to life. I’m married with two beautiful babies.)
Detrimental determination - I've always known how much our thoughts influence our lives. If I wanted something I could make it happen. Nothing could stop me. It's one of my best/worst traits. Now that I’m turning 34 I understand my own limitations better. I certainly believe my thoughts steer my life but I now know God is the sails and the wind and the sky and the sun. Steering the ship isn't enough. I can't make it to shore alone. I probably felt like I needed to go it alone because I started moving so young. My parents moved me from Illinois to California just weeks after I was born. Then we moved overseas to Germany for a few years before moving back to Stockton, CA. I went to three elementary schools and two middle schools and in my senior year of High School my parents moved two hours south. I ended up testing out of High School and starting junior college. Everyone told me I would fail without a proper diploma. I bucked the idea. I kept working toward my goals.
I know, it’s weird—I managed to ignore so many negative voices throughout my life when I spent so much time trying desperately to make people like me. I moved so often, I needed to fit in. In fact, fitting in was my life goal. I was so embarrassed when I won awards. Or stood out. I didn’t want to give anyone a reason not to like me. I was determined to be friends with everyone. I dragged this determination into my romantic relationships. I mistakenly believed I alone could make them work. I ignored signs of trouble. I ate my feelings. I drank too much. I did anything to help me ignore my own discontentment. I believed I merely needed to control my thoughts (and I suppressed lots of feelings in the process.)
In 2011, my news director gave me a great opportunity for career growth. I would anchor weekend mornings and report three days a week. I immediately felt enormous pressure and fell into a depression. I sobbed to a co-worker the day my nephew was born. I wanted to be there. I enjoyed my work but my nephew’s arrival forced me to see what I was missing and the job was starting to force me to stand out beyond my comfort zone. My face was on all the promotional videos. My determination had gotten me into what felt like a VIP party and all I could do was grab two crab cakes and a carrot from the bountiful buffet. I was too confused and embarrassed to enjoy it. Did I really want this? Or was I just so determined to reach my goal at any cost? Did I want a family more than my old dreams? A couple of years later I got my answers. I decided I wanted a family more than a career.
Wild Spirit- I may love cardigans, reading (especially anything Oprah suggests) and quiet coffee shops but there’s also a wildness to me most people don’t always recognize. I probably don’t want people to see (the part of me that went skinny dipping in a Las Vegas pool, or who jumped out of an airplane, or who wrote a book and published it). So, I find it difficult to properly put myself out there. My book debuted without pre-orders or parties. It’s like I found an unwanted kitten, posted it on Facebook and dropped off at a shelter (convinced I’d done my due diligence.) I tried to move on but it nagged me. The book was funny and enjoyable—at least the few people who read it told me. Couldn’t I do a little more? Didn’t my story deserve my best effort?
I cried in the shower, wrote through contractions, and discovered how difficult it is for me to enjoy the moment. That’s why I started writing my story. I couldn’t be the only mom going through this massive identity crisis. Motherhood opened me up the all the ways I tried to control my thoughts and emotions. My new role tested me in every way. Pre-baby I focused on my career and the future. After baby, I needed to commit myself to living in the moment. I found comfort in retelling the stories of my reporting days while incorporating it into my new reality.
My e-book debuted almost a year ago. Today, I see how clearly I tried to hide behind the difficulties of the self-publishing. How I refused to be fully seen yet again. I didn't believe I deserved the spotlight. Sure, I could manifest a cookie but what about a successful writing career?
Get Out of the Vault- I ran tapes to and from the tape library during my internship with CNN. It was quite an elaborate system with barcodes and specifically labeled tapes. During my frequent visits to the vault I met a nice man who managed the archives. He asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I told him what I told everyone… “I wanted to be a reporter.”
“Then go where they’ll let you report.” He said. “I always wanted to be a photographer. I took this job because I thought it would get my foot in the door. That was twenty years ago.”
I heard what he was saying. I went far away from Southern California to a place where I could be a reporter. I learned the craft and sharpened my skills. Over the years I started to realize my favorite part of my day was the moment I sat down to WRITE. I enjoyed the other aspects of my job, especially hearing all the amazing stories from the people I met. BUT I was called to write. Writing felt sacred. I continued to write online after I left the business because I remembered those words.
If you want to be a singer (for example) go ahead and take the job in the mailroom at Sony Records only if you’re singing in church, coffee shops and on the street. Don’t take the job and wait for someone to give you a chance to sing. You’ll never get it. Start doing what you love TODAY.
As the saying goes…“comfort is a hard habit to break.” Stay far away from the vault!
Limiting Beliefs - Parenting certainly finds a way to show you what you believe. I stood in the middle of a Toys-R-Us when one of my limiting beliefs smacked me around. Brandon held tightly to a Paw Patrol Control tower. We’d just given him a very expensive battery-operated truck. "Brandon, you can't have everything..." I told my three-year-old with conviction.
And there it was. The belief—limiting everything in my life. The idea living inside of me saying I couldn't have this amazing family AND an amazing career. Somehow I always believed I must choose. Motherhood certainly asks us to prioritize at different times our kid’s lives but my unexamined belief meant I needed to choose. Success or family. Never both.
I want my son and daughter to know the value of things and I want them to be generous. I also want them to know that they can work and eventually manifest everything their little hearts can dream up. Life is bountiful! We should all enjoy the buffet. That’s why I'm currently trying to shift my thinking away from my old limiting beliefs. I’m tired of holding myself back.
Instead of trying not to stand out, I am focusing on standing up. I'm a woman with important stories to share. Aren't we all? Doesn't every soul on this earth have a powerful, beautiful, stirring story in their heart? I know you do. I want to read your story.
My becoming will unfold until my last breath. I’ve learned so much and still have so much to learn and give. I love cheering on Catia Holm as she chases her dreams. She makes me feel like anything is possible with her brand of fearlessness and self-confidence. Plus, isn’t becoming contagious? She reminds us all to stand up for our dreams.
Trusting God’s Timing- Being in a relationship can be another way to hide. I’ve certainly hidden in my past relationships. I didn’t need to venture out and truly be myself because I was a part of a couple. I remember telling an ex-boyfriend I might want to be a teacher or a writer. He scoffed and told me “you’re a reporter.”
Ultimately, I ended that relationship in order to find my own happiness. I left in a blur of tears and suffered a miscarriage in the middle of the breakup. (For a woman, praying for a family it was shocking and painful.) Looking back I see how God was whispering for me to trust Him and His timing.
My husband was the first man who didn't try to control me. He’s excited if I tell him I'm going to write a children's book, or a screenplay, or launch a podcast. (Or whatever I've dreamt up this week.) He's my number one supporter and fan. I'm his too. But now, I'm determined to become my own biggest cheerleader. I've started writing articles and sharing them. I revived a blog site and started the process of pitching a picture book manuscript to agents. I am embracing the process and loving the excitement of not knowing WHEN everything will come together.
There's no choice between my family AND success. The world is big enough and bright enough for me to celebrate both. I'm finally standing up—Guys, I’m back in line at the buffet table and I’m going straight for the chocolate chip cookies. Life really is sweet.
A little ditty about courage and motherhood…
There is nobody more courageous than a mother. We’re asked to let go from our baby’s first breath. I remember holding my tummy and missing the baby inside hours after giving birth. Pregnant no more. We feed twelve times a day and get used to watching our angels sleep in our arms. Then seemingly out of nowhere they’re too heavy to hold. It’s time to roll over. It’s time to stack and clap and laugh out loud. Then we get lulled into thinking this is how life will be. An ear infection hits. We lose sleep. Teeth break through. Weeks crawl then so do our babies. We lose time letting go of our ideas of what motherhood would be like. We adjust to what it’s really like. We let go of everything we can no longer juggle. We let go of our expectations. We become things we never thought we would. We become ourselves. We become just like our mothers. We become courageous as we watch our loves teeter on their own feet for the first time. Then we’re asked to say goodbye to a baby and greet a toddler with birthday cake and balloons.
More change. We’re asked to let go of their hands when they want to play at the park with friends. We’re asked to let go of picking out their clothes when they decide what to wear. We’re asked to change the radio when they don’t like a song anymore. We’re asked to let go of who we were and who we thought they should be. We’re asked to let go of knowing what will happen. We’re asked to reckon with our own limitations. We can’t always protect them. We try. We pray. We let go a little more. We’re asked to let go of everything we once believed about parenting. We thought we’d never…fill in the blank. We’re asked to say goodbye to the idea of love. We’re asked to truly and courageously pour love from and beyond ourselves.
This is the gift and challenge of motherhood— it’s an unraveling of the soul. We’re tethered to change. It’s like folding laundry with kids. They’re always playfully pulling us apart, unfolding the tidy ideas we hold of ourselves, tugging at our bound up emotions. We wrestle with fear, anger and annoyance. We practice patience. We practice gratitude. Kids teach us pure presence. We play again. We let go of our need to be perfect. We let go of just knowing—we start living. We read more. We learn more. We follow thought leaders like Dr. Brené Brown and Dr. Shefali Tsabary. We tackle our limiting beliefs. We pray. We let go a little more. We’re asked to let go of the cruelty we once reserved for ourselves. We’re someone’s mother. We practice compassion. We’re expected to explore our own dreams so we don’t shove them onto our children.
We become, again and again. We let go of the idea that we’ll never be scared. We’re scared at least twice a day when we look into their lovely little eyes. God please keep them safe. We’re scared when we turn off the lights. Did we teach them enough? Did we hold them enough? Do they know how much we love them? Did we scold too harshly? Did we enjoy it all? Did we savor the time? We breathe. Tomorrow’s another day of letting go.
Essay by: Camaron Brooks
Wasn't that awesome?! The first time I read it, I was shaking my head up and down mumbling, Yes, yes, yes.
I know you already love Camaron as much as I do! Here's how you can keep up with her.
Facebook / Instagram / Reporting Live From Studio B
And don't forget to pick up a copy of her book here!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Monica Becker
Courage to Quit Your 9-5
"What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?" "What is your biggest dream?" "What are you most passionate about?" These are some of my favorite questions to ask people.
I’m curious about people’s passions and I like to motivate and challenge them to work toward their dreams. I find that I like to encourage people from the inside out – building up their confidence and then encouraging them to stretch.
Sometimes we all need a little push to help us get out of the false illusion that we can't succeed. Sometimes it’s easy for us to settle, because we’re scared of “what if?” But when we pursue our passions and follow what truly sets are soul on fire, that’s when the magic happens.
--
Just after I turned 23, I started working full time as an employee of the State of Texas. I was the youngest person in my division and very excited for my new career. But, the excitement of having my 9-5 "big girl" job quickly started to fade as I surpassed my learning curve and was no longer stimulated by the work.
But, as luck would have it, around the same time I started teaching group fitness classes, and they kept monotony from setting in.
Right away I fell in love with group fitness and the community I built within my classes. Helping and motivating people through my classes made my heart explode. I was able to see people's lives transform right in front of my eyes. The impact of finding a positive community had a MAJOR ripple effect.
We forget how powerful it is to connect with people.
I teach all forms of dance (latin, hip-hop, etc.) and since most people don’t feel comfortable dancing unless they’ve had a few cocktails – it’s always touch and go at first – whether the students are really going to let loose. But when one student dances freely, others follow.
Providing a time and space to allow my students to “let go” can make a huge difference in someone’s day which can also change their life.
My fulfillment from my classes grew immensely in my soul and I one day I could not see myself living without that energy. So, I started teaching as many classes as I could while working full time and juggling my relationship.
BUT, I was in need of finding balance.
And then, two weeks before our one year wedding anniversary, my husband and I found out we were pregnant. We were both ecstatic for the news but knew we wanted better work opportunities before our son came and I finally had clear intentions of what I wanted.
I wanted to stay home with our son and not miss any of his first moments.
But how would I be able to do this and earn an income to contribute to our family?
I wanted to teach my fitness classes and somehow make just as much money or more working in line with my passion – so I set that as an intention. And I no longer wanted my 9-5 “big girl” job.
Two weeks before my maternity leave was up - I had an intense conversation with my best friend about my decision to quit. And since she is the best planner I have ever met, the news freaked her out. She knew that our family really wasn’t built for only one income. Even with all that, I spoke these words to her: "I am going to go back to work but then I’m quitting. I don't know how but I will end up making more money working less hours doing what I love – being home with our son. I don't know how it's going to happen but I just know and have faith that it will work out."
And then, I QUIT MY 9-5 JOB.
Shortly thereafter, I was approached by one of my students and he offered me a job developing a DANCE VIDEO GAME. I would be doing the choreography and development for a DANCE VIDEO GAME!
I couldn't even believe the type of work I would be doing. I was finally working completely in my passions and the best part was I’d be able to work from home and have my son with me.
Between my new video game job and my fitness classes I was making just the income I needed. I was extremely thankful and in shock that I actually achieved what I desired most!
THEN…
Two weeks after attaining this amazing opportunity my husband got a job offer to work from home as well with a large income increase. We were not expecting this at all! Now my husband could enjoy all of Austin's first moments too! We were both home and got to experience when Austin took his first steps – and I will never forget it.
Having faith that everything will work out and taking a risk has been the biggest life changing experience for me. I learned so much about the power of our intentions and desires. Our daily thoughts and actions can make our lives for better or worse.
If there is something you are passionate about or something you want to achieve, dig deep and put your whole heart into it. Don't worry about how you will get there, just have faith and start taking action towards your goals. Doors will open for you along the way and people will come into your life that are unexpected. Take a leap of faith. You won't regret it!
Essay by: Monica Becker
Monica is truly an inspiration and such a wonderful spirit!!! You can find her on You Tube, or connect with her via her FB Page: Dance With Monica ATX and you can even find her on Instagram.
If you're in the Austin area, check out her FB page for dance classes, and if you're not in the Austin area, check out her YOU TUBE page, and she can teach you in the comfort of your home!
Hi, friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Five Love Languages
Originally published on 9-25-13
Buy the book, The 5 Love Languages. Read it in one day. Comprehend it in 2-3 days. Practice it forever.
As I was trying to figure out who I was and which way was north, my Mom bought me, The 5 Love Languages for Singles. Ha!
I read it once, but it didn’t really sink in. Until one day, I needed it to.
I hit a rough patch with my now husband. A ROUGH spot.
I thought, “I am going to pull out all the stops.” I was determined to not make the same mistakes I had in the past, so I got really still and rolled up my sleeves. I was determined to do give this relationship the best chance it had at survival. He was trying, I was trying, but somehow we were missing the target with each other. So, I pulled out the book and read it. Reading was not quite enough for me so I downloaded the book on itunes and listened to it to and from work. It’s not Justin Timberlake, but I knew there was important information I needed.
A few plays through book, I realized I was not bringing my 100% to the table.
I have learned that to be in a good relationship, both people have to be responsible for their 100%. Among other things, each person has to bring love to the table, in the way that their partner receives love. Think of your relationship. Do you feel loved? Does the person you are in a relationship with feel loved?
This book, The 5 Love Languages gives you tools to make sure that both people feel loved and appreciated. It helps make sure that both people are being fulfilled. We all give love and receive love in different ways. This book helps you identify the way you receive love. Can you answer, I feel most loved by my husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend when_________________________?
The 5 Love Languages:
Quality time-Quality time is just that quality time. You feel loved and appreciated when you and your loved one spend time together. Spending time together could be: making dinner and home, a picnic in the park, visiting a museum or watching a movie together. The time spent together says, I am interested in you and your interests. I love you and so I want to spend time with you.
Touch- Touch comes in many forms. It comes as a kiss on the cheek, as making love, as kisses in private and in public. Touch comes as holding hands while crossing a busy street or by someone placing their hand on your shoulder. Some people grow up with touch and some don’t. It’s easier for some people to convey love through touch than it is for others. Do you receive the message of love through touch?
Gifts- Some people feel loved and appreciated when they are given gifts. Gifts don’t have to be big and expensive; they can be small and thoughtful. A written note speaks volumes to a person who loves gifts. A handmade Valentine’s Day card will do the trick too. Other thoughtful examples are: a coffee mug with a thoughtful sentiment on it, a fresh flower, or a new rosary from the Church gift shop. There are many gifts that would convey, “While I was out, I was thinking of you and here’s some proof.” Gifts that come from loved ones being thoughtful are meaningful. They show that they have listened intently to you AND that they thought of you while they were out running errands. Do you feel loved when people give you gifts?
Words of Affirmation- You feel loved and appreciated when people express to you in words how much they love and how much they are proud of you. “I really love you.” “You are so beautiful.” “You are the great love of my life.” “You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.” “You are so handsome; when you’re in the room I don’t see anyone else.” These may seem corny, but they’re not. They are very real to the person being affirmed. Do you feel loved when people tell you how much they love you, or are words not as big a deal as, acts of service?
Acts of Service- You feel most appreciated when your loved ones helps you around the house, or runs an errand for you. Acts of service can be as simple as taking out the trash or as elaborate as hosting out of town family.
As a clue, often people convey love in the way they want to receive love. Often times, our partners, spouses, friends, parents receive love differently than we do.
Could you imagine loving someone and dedicating chunks of time and effort to them without them even recognizing it? Could you imagine cooking and cleaning and ironing your boyfriend’s shirts for days and days and months and months all the while he is saying, “You must not really love me!” Or have you ever been in a relationship where all your significant other ever does is buy you the most amazing gifts and all the while you want them to say how much they are proud of you? You yearn for the day that they say, “Julie, you have made me so proud. I am proud to be your boyfriend.” Couples can go days, months and even years feeling unfulfilled, feeling like maybe their partner doesn’t care or doesn’t love them. They feel this way because they are not speaking each other’s love language. They are not conveying their love in the way their partner best receives it. Love it just love, it isn’t magic.
The best definition of love I have come across is: love is committing to a set of behaviors that have a positive impact on others. Love is positive.
Your life will be SO much easier if you love your partner they way they want to be loved. There’s no sense in feeling love for someone, trying your hardest and have it not work out because there was a miscommunication. Don’t you want the love you feel for your partner to come through loud and clear? Love must be nurtured and the relationship where love lives must be nurtured.
If your partner feels your love and knows it unequivocally, they are much more likely to want to reciprocate. When both people are consciously filling each other’s love’s tank (think of a gas tank) the relationship will grow stronger from daily nurturing. Every day you will know and feel that your partner loves you and vice versa. You will think things like, “Nothing can break us now. He/she loves me and I love them and we are solid!” Or “We are a united front. He/she loves me and they show it!” After a few months, keeping your partner’s love tank full will become second nature. Sounds scary, huh? Or does this all sound too, “Self-help section Aisle 8?” It is scary and it is certainly right up with all the foofy self-help ideas, but it is worth it. You will feel loved and content and so will your partner. Be the person to take the first step toward strengthening your relationship. You both deserve it!
P.S.- This works on all relationships: parents, family, friends, children, co-workers. It’s very effective.
Love is just love. It takes an earnest effort to make it a lifetime.
What Actually Matters?
Originally published on 9-7-13
A few years ago my girlfriend and I were moseying along South Congress and we stopped into the Hotel Saint Cecilia bar to have a drink. After we sat down the bartender asked for our room key. I told him that we weren’t staying on property; we were just there for a cocktail. He politely informed us that the bar was only available to hotel guests, and a few minutes later we were back, moseying along South Congress.
I walked out slightly bummed but since the bartender was so polite, I was intrigued.
I thought, one day, when it’s a super special occasion, I’ll stay there.
Fast forward to super special occasion, July 26th, 2013. Guapo proposed, we were officially engaged and planning commenced.
Part of the planning was booking a hotel room for our wedding night. As soon as Guapo gave me a hint of support for booking a room at the HSC, I was on it. It is possible that I booked it while he was finishing his declaration of support. “Sure, I think a room at the HSC would be…..” “Click.” Booked. I was thrilled! Hotel Saint Cecilia, here we come!
I booked it for two nights, August 28th the night before our wedding and August 29th our wedding night. My plans were to hang with my girlfriends, enjoy some extra time at the hotel and get ready for the big day, of course!
A few days out Guapo suggested that the night before the wedding I should sleep wherever I’d get the most rest and be most peaceful. He said he loved me and understood if I wanted to get some extra girl time and that we’d have plenty of nights together after. I felt he sincerely meant either location.
As I was mulling it over my sleeping situation I thought about Sex and City, the movie. Carrie and Big get engaged. Their wedding planning starts off intimate and then snowballs into a huge NYC sized production. They have intense drama and spend the next year trying to get back to where they started, cozy.
In the four weeks of wedding planning I made a concerted effort to keep everything as cool and casual as possible. I wasn’t zen, I just did my best. I never wanted to have the cake topper not coming in overshadow the importance of us committing our lives to each other. In the same vein, we had a teeny wedding of 25. This was our way of focusing on the marriage and not the production of a wedding.
It must be said that I delight in attending large, festive weddings. If those work for you, I am thrilled and please invite me to yours! I will show up in your wedding video dancing like a fool. However, a big fat Mexican wedding just doesn’t suit our personality as a couple.
Back to the task as hand -- deciding whether or not to stay at the hotel the night before our wedding.
As I was trying to figure it out I thought, “What will bring me/us the most peace and which choice will highlight the reason of honor so to speak?” I thought, “I am committing my life to this person tomorrow and my priority is staying in a cooler than cool hotel?” It just didn’t sit well with me. By 3pm on the 28th I had decided. Home was where I would stay.
I stayed at home and our fabulous to die for hotel room, where movie stars stay, stayed empty.
We slept in our bed together and woke up together. We have a beautiful morning routine that I guard intently and I guarded it that day too. There was no way we were going to start this marriage focusing on RSVPs, dinner selections or other people’s preferences. Family and friends were in town and buzzing around but we didn’t let that cut into our morning time either.
On the morning of our wedding day we read newspapers, sipped hot almond milk lattes and enjoyed each other’s company. At 9am we kissed goodbye and agreed to see each other at 4:45pm, ceremony time.
It’s so easy, especially during big moments like a wedding day, to get worked up and focus on a million little things: different personalities, schedules, rentals, linens, weather and even the groom’s attire.
Those are all little things and in the end they don’t matter. And if we’re keeping things in perspective, they don’t matter, ever.
Take a moment to write down what matters to you. It will help keep you on track.
My focus for this event is:_____________
My goal today is:____________________
I am here today to:___________________.
Don’t let your mood or perspective or goals get polluted by all the junk floating around in your orbit. I encourage you to stay peaceful and hang onto what matters most to you.