Courage to Become | Mariah Oller
When I first started my tarot business my hands were shaking. I was so afraid of publicly posting my photo in my profile picture. I was afraid of what the religious part of my family would think AND of what the scientists in my family would say. - Mariah Oller
A quick note about The Courage to Become Series and today’s, featured woman.
Hi! Catia here. I am delighted to bring you Season 4 of The Courage to Become! I ask women I admire to share a behind the scenes view of their becoming. We often see the result but aren’t privy to the through, to the transformation. And the through is where all the magic happens. The story you are about to read will buoy you with hope. Being a woman is not easy, but damn, if it can be magical. There are inspirational women everywhere, and Mariah is one of them.
Enjoy her story of becoming. I watch her on social media and admire the way she excels at her craft while at the same time remaining the present mama to two sweet girls, and how she contributes so well to her community. Please welcome, Mariah.
Mariah Oller from Harvest and Moon
Mariah, tell us a little bit about yourself.
I am a Cell Biologist turned tarot reader, a survivor of domestic abuse, and homeschooling mother of 2.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
Most of my life is about dreaming and then jumping feet first. My biggest goal has always been to be happy. From there I have many branches.
I wanted to be in a healthy relationship. That may seem simple but for me, someone who grew up seeing and experiencing physical trauma, that has been a tough thing to reprogram. I go to therapy primarily to deal with how much love and pleasure I have in my life now.
I’ve always wanted to be a healer. I started that journey by diving into the hard sciences and later becoming a tarot reader. Surprisingly, I help a lot more people now, and it allows me to comfortable raise my kids.
How did it feel getting started as a tarot reader?
Getting started is always scary. My Dad loves to say “fear is a mind-killer.” I consciously coach myself to take fear as a signal to pay attention, instead of freezing.
When I first started my tarot business my hands were shaking. I was so afraid of publicly posting my photo in my profile picture. I was afraid of what the religious part of my family would think AND of what the scientists in my family would say. For me, tarot is the perfect blend of those worlds but I worried that it would be misunderstood by those I loved. My husband helped calm my nerves and encouraged me to own my brand and my spiritual practices. My family is very supportive of what I have created.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started reading tarot:
The biggest obstacle that I’ve faced are misconceptions about tarot. A lot of people are scared they are going to learn something they don’t want to know or they worry it will be something that goes against their religion.
My tarot readings have always been about empowering people to move towards a life that they love. We focus on discovering what action is needed right now to create harmony in careers, relationships, living situations, etc.
What motivates you to read tarot?
My children are my biggest motivation. I know that they will follow my example so I make sure I’m living a life I would also want for them.
Which living person do you most admire?
My grandmother. She has so much grit and wisdom. She’s the woman people come to when they need advice about their marriage or career.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Besides knowing future events and what actions are needed to overcome the obstacles?! I’m fully satisfied with the talents I have...but I would add ‘enjoys putting laundry away’ as a talent if I had a magic wand.
What is your most marked characteristic?
I am an achiever. I love to push myself and test what I’m capable of.
Is there a message that motivates you or encourages you along?
My mantra is “I’ll get the perfect thing at the perfect time.”
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
I loved getting my degree at 17. That really set the stage for me to be able to do anything I set my mind to.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee-deep in the mud?
I pull a tarot card reflect on what action I need to take right now and what goal I’m working towards in the next few months.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Stay diligent about who and what you allow around you. Consume media that feeds your mind and goals. Connect with people that speak life into you. Distance yourself from things that aren’t good for you.
What is one piece of advice you would give your 20-year-old self?
Wait until you’re old enough to legally drink before having a baby. Just because you created the life of an adult woman doesn’t mean you have the fully developed brain of an adult woman.
Mariah Oller is the founder of Harvest and Moon and the New Moon Tribe. She connects modern women to ancient traditions so that they may live a more grounded, exciting, and empowered life.
Mariah has always had a passion for healing. She received her first degree in Biotechnology when she was 17-years-old through the Texas Bioscience Institute and went on to become the lead Biologist designing Oxygen Concentrators for a Medical Device Company at the ripe age of 19.
Mariah seamlessly blends the worlds of Science and Magic together to create healing and balance for women in her community. Source: Harvest and Moon
Mariah is truly gifted and I know you will love connecting with her!
Harvest and Moon Web site — Harvest and Moon on Instagram — Harvest and Moon on Facebook
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational and TEDx speaker , Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Weekly Wisdom Guide
Shine your brightest,
How are you after last week?
Ten days ago I sent out a Weekly Wisdom email - and the topic was how to sustain change.. And then, a tsunami of events, emotions, and information came barreling at America.
If you are Black and reading this, I hold you in my heart and my actions. I am learning and unlearning and acting on your behalf. I am sorry and embarrassed that I didn't know just how much you have gone through and go through. I am committed to not only doing better - but to DOING WELL on your behalf. I will be there for you in my words and thoughts and actions. I know this week was a tsunami, an onslaught, and I'm sorry that you are in the middle of all of it.
--
If you are not Black, I see you, and I feel you. As a leader of people who want to grow and do their best ( I am so proud of you ), I wanted to be there for you, and so I didn't want to be silent. I wanted to be vocal and push the envelope (of my social media - but most of all of my heart and comfort.)
When you learn that you have been blind and worse, complicit in the hurting of others - it is a gross, all-encompassing feeling. The murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery have affected me like nothing ever has before. It has taken over my head and heart. And I suppose that's a good thing.
Here's something significant that I want you to know.
You have the skills to be a group of people who bring about change. I know that you are who we have been waiting for.
I'm not sure how long you have been with me ( reading my work and showing up for me) for some of you it's recent, and for others, it's been ten years. I know that if you are here - you are GOOD and you are STRONG, and you WANT GOOD FOR THE WORLD.
I know it.
Deconstructing beliefs takes time and intentionality. Change takes time. Looking at ourselves and where we have unconscious biases will not be easy. Seeing the hurt that our brothers and sisters have endured for centuries will break your heart open - but I urge you to look at it - don't look away.
Let it break your heart open. It's in the breaking of your heart that you will transform.
How do I know this?
Because I have been there before, and so have you.
As my teacher, Dr. Shefali, says, “pain is a portal.”
Each of us has that time when our hearts shattered, and we thought, "this is the end, we cannot endure anymore." After prayer, intention, and love, we started to feel lighter, stronger, and freer. We transformed.
Maybe it was a bad break up; maybe it was the loss of a loved one, maybe it was a job loss, maybe it was a suicidal attempt, and maybe it was drug addiction. Something brought us to our knees, and we begged for relief. Do you remember that time?
And yet, here you are. Standing tall, taking deep breaths, evolving, being a blessing to yourself and others.
--
And so I know, you and me, we were made for a time such a this.
I believe in you.
Here's what I am doing to take action.
Also, last night I watched, Just Mercy on Netflix, and I am a changed woman. I will literally never be the same. I highly recommend it. It will break your heart WIDE OPEN. You will move into action after watching it. God Bless Bryan Stevenson.
Jamie Foxx, Bryan Stevenson (American Civil Rights Lawyer and angel ), Michael B. Jordan
Let me know how I can help you on this journey of unlearning.
so much love and hope for you and for us, catia
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Weekly Wisdom Guide
Shine your brightest,
When you're loved so well, you know you're enough | A farewell to The Mujeres Increibles
When I landed in Panama, I did not know one person. A week after we landed, I found a small gym and started taking Zumba classes. Sometimes, I was the only student. Awkward. In Austin, where I had lived before, I was a member of a large gym with 456 class offerings and all sorts of amenities. Stepping foot into the simplest of gyms was quite a departure. Still, I went. And after a few months of taking Zumba classes, I started to feel my courage bubble up. Many people would say it is not courageous to want to teach a fitness class in a tiny beach town in Central America. But it was my version of bold.
I contacted the owner and threw my hat in the ring. “I’d love to teach a class!”
She replied, “Do you have any type of certification?”
“No, I don’t, but I can lead.”
“Okay, thanks, I’ll keep it in mind.”
Total strikeout.
I’m not sure what I expected since I had no training, but still, the rejection stung a little.
BUT, a few weeks later, the owner called me and asked if I could substitute teach two Zumba classes. “Sure!” I was so thrilled. I watched YouTube videos and practiced moves. Picture it.
Okay. Stop picturing it.
The big day arrived, and I was ready was 4, maybe even 5 students!
One sweet lady showed. Marie.
It was a dumpster fire of an hour. 5, 6, 7, 8.
I was so pitiful at teaching Zumba. I’m cringing just thinking about it. I had NO CLUE what I was doing or how to communicate.
Still, I went home and practiced more. I’m no quitter, and I had a second class to teach!
Again, Marie was the only student. And again, I totally sucked.
It was so humbling and embarrassing.
I left with my tail between my legs.
I returned, with relief to my spot as a student.
A few weeks went by, and my phone rang. It was the owner of the gym. “Can you teach a weights class?”
“HELL YES I CAN! I have been working out since I was about 18 years old, and I have done thousands of weight class, Cross Fit classes, cardio classes, all sorts of things!”
This I could do.
So I showed up, ready, and confident.
On my first day, I had four students. Irina, Andrea, Cinthia, and Lole.
I didn’t know any of the ladies previous to the class, but it was an absolute blast! I had only been in Panama for a few months, and I still didn’t have friends. But I wanted friends. Maybe they could be my friends?
We came to Panama as a family to slow down, to take things off of our career plates, and to enjoy our children more. And the more we slowed down, the more space feelings had to rise to the surface.
For so long, I had been paying the meter on my career. Even when my career was running bars and restaurants, I had to be in constant forward motion. I thought that my worth was attached to who I was affiliated with, what I was producing, and what I could give other people. I always had some impressive pieces to present. Maybe it was that I had a great job and interacted with famous people, maybe it was that I lived in a fancy neighborhood, maybe it was that I published a book, maybe it was that I was a TEDx speaker. I could always hang my hat on some external thing, and that always brought me a sense of relief. If they know this ______________, then I’ll be validated.
But I started to notice, at the end of every finish line crossed, I never felt any different. I always felt like the same person. Never better or more validated or more qualified. And I started to get curious.
Who would I be without the hot poker of achievement moving me forward? Could I just be still? Would I be happy with my life, with myself if I was bare?
And so when I landed in Panama, I decided to do an experiment. I decided to let it all go.
It helped that all the hooks I used to hang my hat on, were nonexistent in Panama. There were no book stores, no bloggers, and there was no speaking circuit. No one was trying to amass a following or build a career.
And it was a HUGE relief. I never had to talk about work or my husband’s job or my career. None of it was important.
In the community where we landed, there was NO COMPETITION, even subconsciously, for anything. And even though it took me time to find the language for it, my body and heart knew, “Oh, this, this is what we’ve been needing.”
And so, for the first time maybe ever, I was myself.
I presented as Catia. Mom of two girls, wife to husband, from Texas. That was it. I didn’t have any stories attached to me. My history wasn’t important, the only thing that mattered was the present moment. The clothes I wore or the house I lived in or the car I drove didn’t matter. All that mattered was that my friends and I went for coffee and bagels after gym class. Who I was married to didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he was friendly.
And so I would show up to my gym class, and teach. I’d blare good music, and I would cheer on my students and laugh while I made up crazy workout combos. Slowly, we started to schedule play dates and text back and forth and eat meals together. My students had no idea that this way of living was absolutely foreign to me. They were too, just being themselves.
The gym was the most perfect place for me to land. It was everything I loved – women, music, teaching, encouraging, and fitness all rolled into one. I would cheer my students on and say things like, “embarrassment doesn’t exist here,” and “no one gets left behind!” I’d remind them of how sexy and strong they were. And we went from teacher/student to friend/friend.
We had so many laughs, and we also had tender moments. One day during class, my friend started crying. I’ll never forget it. I stopped class, and I walked over to her and just hugged her. She kept crying on my shoulder, and I told her it was going to be okay, and that she could cry. We stood in the middle of ten women, hugging. And when the tears stopped, we started the class up again. No further explanation. A pause, some tears, and a bear hug were enough.
My students who became friends were from all over! Russia, South Africa, Panama, Slovakia, Peru, Chile, Brazil, Canada, USA, Colombia, Cuba – so much diversity in one small gym class. Many a morning spent together, working out and pushing our bodies and also giving ourselves time, as women, as moms and wives to do some self-care. I taught three classes a week for about a year. It was the greatest surprise.
And so a few days ago, when they threw me a surprise farewell brunch, I was so tender and teary.
My friends walked me into Barbara’s house (one of our other friends) to see her “new decorations,” and they yelled, “SURPRISE!”
And I wept.
No one had ever thrown a surprise party for me. My first ever!
All my girlfriends were there, and I was overflowing with gratitude.
The brunch layout was the best I’d ever seen, and every detail from the infused water to the coffee cups was perfect. I felt so loved and cared for. I was on the brink of tears the entire time, and so when they started presenting me with the most touching and personal gifts, I lost it. And I knew I had to tell them what I had realized.
I told them about landing in Panama and having no one. I said how I valued them. I told them how I was so grateful for their love and friendship, and I gave them to utmost thanks for guiding me back to myself.
Me without achievement. The real me.
They showed me that I, on my own, was enough.
I
Was
Enough.
I’m not sure I had ever felt that before.
Many people love me and have loved me through many stages.
But I had never put myself in a situation where I had taken SO MUCH off my career plate that I was left kind of empty-handed, nothing to show off.
The entire experience was freeing and liberating and absolutely life-changing.
I am deeply grateful for every single one of these ladies. They will be a part of me forever.
Mujeres Increibles, Majo, Allison, Nina, Adriana, Pam, Natalia, Lole, Irina, Barbara, Cinthia, Julie, Judy, Bia, Andrea S., and Andrea L.,
Gracias por amarme bien. Son una bendicion! El mundo tiene suerte de tenerte, y mas que nada eres suficiente.
Thank you for loving me well. You are angels on earth. The world is lucky to have you, and above all else, you are enough.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
Shine your brightest,
On being a daughter, of a great mother.
I called my childhood phone number, the phone number I have KNOWN all my life, and my dad picked up.
“Hi, Dad.”
“Happy Mother’s Day, Catia.”
I paused.
“Oh, yes. Thank you.”
“What? Is that weird?”
“I just didn’t expect it.”
I still think of myself as a daughter.
I am David and Nellie’s daughter.
Of course, I am a mother. Of course. But a big part of me and hopefully a forever part of me identifies as Catia Hernandez, from Weslaco, Texas – you know, David and Nellie’s daughter.
I asked to speak to my mom, but she wasn’t at home. She was on the road, picking her up mom, my Abuelita to bring her back for Mother’s Day Brunch. She still identifies as a daughter too.
I called back a few hours later.
My Dad picked up the phone.
“Nellie, it’s Catia.”
“Hi, precious.” My mom has referred to me as precious my whole life. And Celeste when she’s clenching her teeth in frustration.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Happy Mother’s Day,” I said in between cries, my chest filling up with shallow puffs of air.
“I miss you, too,” she said.
“I miss you, mom.”
“We’ll see each other in June.”
“I know.”
I cried and held back my tears trying to have a decent conversation. But it was pretty much small talk.
And then she passed the phone to my Abuelita, Welita. And I started crying all over again.
“Feliz dia de las Madres, la amo.”
She told me (in Spanish) to close my eyes and feel her hugging me. “Feel my big hug full of love.” She kept repeating it over and over.
She began to weep and then passed the phone back to my mom.
We told each other we loved each other, hung up and I exploded in tears.
I just spent the last 6 weeks living in parents home (with my two girls in tow), and it was glorious. (We are currently living in Central America but traveled to the US to get some quality time together.) Seeing them every day – coffee, wine, tacos, talking politics, brain science – playing with Luciana and Alexandra outside on the swing. Normal things.
No galas, no fancy dinners, no big show stopping moments – and all the most special. Hellos, Goodbyes, have a great days, I love yous.
Flower shopping for my youngest brother’s upcoming wedding
Not a lot of people get the chance to spend so much leisure time with their parents, nor would they want to! But I have both – time and a good relationship – and for that I am so grateful.
It’s not so much that I missed my mom yesterday (Mother’s Day), it’s that I know how important she is. How very sweet this season of our life is, where I see her in all her gifts and glory. No longer am I the bratty kid who thinks she’s knows more than her mom, I sit at her feet and watch and learn in awe of how hard she has worked and how well she raised us. Raising kids who feel well loved are all well loved is the way we change the world. And she has.
I cried because I know there aren’t that many more Mother’s Days we will celebrate. I know enough to know that life ends. And man, I’m going to do all I can to soak up every moment with my mom and show her (albeit awkward at times) how much I value her, admire her and appreciate her.
I cried because I know my Welita did the same for my mom.
This is how long we have been connected.
We’ve been connected since my mom was conceived.
For 60+ years, the three of us have been together. And so it goes for my mom, me and Alexandra and Luciana. Spectacular.
I am writing a book now, for my girls – a book of letters detailing who they are, where they came from, what will happen when Mama and Papa leave this earth. A book seeped in so much love. Something they can hold in their hands and know they were loved and have answers to questions about just who was their mom? My hope is that these letters spark conversations everywhere between mothers and daughters. That they may love each other lavishly and cherish the moments they have with one another.
Mom, I am lucky to be yours.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
Shine your brightest,
Leaving a Legacy
The word legacy is pretty loaded. Will you have mattered? Will other people think you mattered?
How will I be remembered? Will my life have mattered? Will people care when I'm gone? What will they remember most about me?
Most of us think about our "legacy" every now and then.
When it all shakes out, how will it turn out?
--
A few weeks ago Alexandra and I made the trip from Panama to the US. She, as per usual, was chatty and friendly. "Hi, I'm Alezzandra (she can't quite pronounce the "x" yet), what's your name? Oh, that's a pretty name." She acknowledged people, hugged them, and wished them well. In the airplane aisles, airport bathrooms, everywhere!
On our way from Panama to Houston she came across a man in his 70s. She introduced her self, asked him about his day, hugged his leg and went on her way. (We are working on asking permission before we hug ;) )
We walked to baggage claim and that gentleman in his 70s came up to me and said, "I hope I don't offend you, but I'd like to give you $20.00. Maybe you can buy your daughter some treats or a toy. She has really touched my heart and I just want to say thank you."
I wasn't offended at all and offered something else. I said, "Why don't you write her a note? You can send it to me via email and I will save it for her. (Guapo and I have made email addresses for the girls and we send them notes from time to time.)" I said, "When's she's older, she'll be able to value it.” He agreed, we exchanges niceties and we went our separate ways.
A few days later, he sent this note.
"hello Alexandra, remember me? George. thank you for your presence. i was truly surprised by a very special gift from God. yes, a four year old child named Alexandra introduced herself as we walked towards the customs immigration check point inside the houston intercontinental airport.
in today's society, we are always on guard from the fear of the evil's presence. but you Alexandra gave me a moment of peace. everything in relation to fear fell apart at the moment of your presence. to me, this is more valuable than anything i could ever imagine.
you reminded me of my reason to live. God wants us to share love. that very special moment in your presence was a God given gift for me through you. continue making a difference in this world. continue being a light from heaven in our hearts. you already have victory in the palms of your hands. sincerely, george"
---
Alexandra did that. Kindness did that. Love did that.
Alexandra is 4 and has already started leaving her legacy. A legacy of presence, kindness and love. A legacy that includes SEEING people and acknowledging them.
It doesn't take money or power or fame to leave a legacy.
So if you're wondering if you matter. You do. If you're wondering if people will miss you. They will. If you're wondering how you can leave a greater impact on this world, LOVE MORE. Really look at people, acknowledge them, love them fully and set them free to be ALL of who they are.
LEGACY = LOVE.
Who do you feel in your heart? Who do you carry around with you? If they are still with us on this earth, do they know you carry them with you? Wouldn't it be nice to send them a note and let them know how much they have made a difference in your life?
I want you to know that you matter and that your legacy need not be defined by professional accomplishments. Your legacy can be defined by love.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
Shine your brightest,
The Courage to Become | Amy Wolff
My Courage of Becoming Grey || Essay by: Amy Wolff
My whole life I've craved security, comfort, safety, and predictability.
When I was young, my parents gave me an allowance with the clear expectation that I would give 10% to charity and put 10% into savings. The rest I could spend on whatever my heart desired (probably Polly Pockets). But every month I gave 10% away and hoarded the rest into savings. That's right, as a kid I opted out of 'fun' spending. I chose security.
Which also explains why I see things as black-and-white. Clear right and wrong. Neat and predictable. In my teens years this kept me out of a lot of trouble (you’re welcome, Mom and Dad!). As a rule-follower with an active Christian faith, boundaries were comforting, not restricting. I learned to easily navigate life within the walls of my morality.
But unfortunately walls that keep you safe also keep you isolated.
Over the last few years I’ve felt overwhelmingly defensive and misunderstood (particularly while scrolling through my social media feeds). I’ve been easily offended, often irritated, and if I were being honest, quick to judge. I’m surprised I don’t have permanent damage from all the eye-rolling I’ve done at articles, comments, or at headlines from particular news sources.
That’s what happens when you build walls; everyone on the outside becomes the unrelatable unreasonable other.
Surely this wasn’t loving my neighbors well - picking sides, shouting from soap boxes, and devaluing perspectives and opinions when they didn’t align with my own. It was exhausting and felt rotten. Something had to change, and it wasn’t the others. It was me.
This is my story of becoming grey.
I remember the moment the transformation started. Several years ago I was sitting on my bed scrolling through Facebook when I saw a friend share a video of two men, both gay, speaking at a Christian university. One was arguing that gay marriage is not in violation of God’s will. The other was arguing that acting on his sexual desires was in violation.
What amazed me was the respect these men had for each other. They were on opposing ends of a divisive and deeply personal issue and yet they still honored one another. Their talk included practical ideas of engaging in difficult conversations with people who disagree with you.
When the video ended, I sat there bewildered. Courage stirred.
That’s the day I started my journey of empathy - to understand and sincerely care about the others.
Shortly after committing to the journey, I met Lindsey, Missy and Patrick.
Lindsey: When the Black Lives Matter movement began, I decided that having an informed opinion on the issue required me, a white woman, to ask a person of color about their experiences and feelings. I looked around my friend group: there was none. I looked around my church: none. My community: none. So when I got into an Uber downtown Seattle on a work trip and noticed my driver was black, I asked if he’d be willing to share his perspective with me. It was brief but meaningful.
Eventually a more thorough, and to be honest more difficult, conversation happened with my new beautiful black friend, Lindsey, over dinner. I’m deeply grateful for her patience as she walked me through every hot-topic of racial tension (oh yes, hello white privilege). Because of this conversation over 6 months ago, I am slower to form opinions reading the news, more aware of my words and unconscious biases, and I’m less defensive.
Lindsey is not other.
Missy: Hard conversations continue, just yesterday in fact. I met a new friend Missy downtown Portland for lunch where much of our conversation was about abortion. She is pro-choice. I am pro-life. What does courage and empathy look like for us? We sat and listened to one another, even when it was hard. We asked questions out of sincere concern and curiosity.
When she chose empathy, she saw that I’m not a crazy conservative devaluing the heavy emotions and decisions of a woman with an unplanned pregnancy. I’m trying to protect a child’s right to live, as if it was outside the womb. When I chose empathy, I saw that Missy was not a crazy child-killer but a woman who deeply empathizes with the anguish of others – including women who are often denied critical medical care at pro-life institutions. In the end, she still protests and I still mourn lost babies but we will not villainize each other.
Missy is not other.
Patrick: All these conversations wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t met Patrick in October of 2016. I was referred to Patrick after I had an uncomfortable experience with a client (I didn’t know what pronoun to use because I couldn’t identify their gender). Patrick was highly educated on the topics of sexuality and gender so we met for a quick meeting in a quaint coffee shop (it’s Portland, after all). Thirty minutes into our conversation, Patrick told me he was gender queer. I didn’t know what that meant so awkwardly, yet sincerely, I asked him. He was specific. He was patient. He was honest. Then he sought to understand me.
While the conversation was insightful, it was something Patrick said right before we left that struck me.
We have solidarity.
He explained, my challenge to be an authentic Bible-believing Christ-follower in liberal Portland was similar to his challenge to be authentically gender queer in a world that didn’t hold space for him. We’ve both felt misunderstood. We’ve both felt judged. But more importantly, we both share humanity and the deep desire to be loved and heard.
Solidarity.
We are more similar than we are different.
Patrick is not other.
This has been my anthem as I wade into new uncomfortable conversations. When I’m tempted to feel flustered or get defensive, I’m reminded that deep down, we want the same things. We want to be loved. We want to be safe. We want to be understood. We want to belong.
I confess, I still prefer things cut and dry. There are still non-negotiable black-and-white areas in my life, like my belief in God. Honoring Him is still my life-pursuit. But on specific issues, I was afraid that loving well meant compromising my beliefs. Or vice-versa, that being devoted to beliefs meant that I couldn’t generously love people who believed and lived differently. But I was wrong.
I have found that there are very few things that are black-and-white.
Most of life exists in the messy undefined middle, where there are diverse experiences, different perspectives, and deep emotions. This journey of becoming grey has been incredibly insightful and liberating for me. I’m not mad every time I open Facebook (it’s a modern-day miracle!).
It’s not comfortable. It’s not safe. It’s not predictable. It requires courage to engage when it would be so much easier to stay within our familiar walls with agreeable people. But we can do hard things.
Instead of judging others, we can choose solidarity.
We can lean into the grey together.
Essay by: Amy Wolff
Connect with Amy on her blog and at her passion project - Don't Give Up Signs Movement.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Angela Fry
The Courage to Become a Mother
My husband and I waited a 15 months before we actively started trying to have a baby after we were married. By month 20 I was concerned. So, after much discussion, we decided to see an infertility doctor. We most certainly weren’t getting any younger and my need, my want for a child was in overdrive.
Did I have the courage for what I knew would be an emotional process?
Painful tests, Clomid, ultrasounds, Intrauterine Insemination is how I spent that summer and fall. Nothing. Nothing, but tears, lots of money spent, and sadness. Emotionally, it was like I was drowning. We took a break and went on a cruise.
Six months later after our heads were clear, we were relaxed and very hopeful that this time treatment would be successful. We met with Dr. Michael Henry and came to the decision that In-Vitro Fertilization was my best option at getting pregnant.
So we began our IVF journey.
On August 16th I had my IVF egg retrieval. Two embryos were transferred back to me on August 21, 2012. We prayed.
Four days before I was advised to I took a pregnancy test. And it was POSITIVE!
My pregnancy was confirmed with my doctor’s office and less 2 weeks later I had my first ultrasound. After much silence, my doctor said the four words I will never forget…”I think there’s three.” I cried and my heart felt like it exploded. We were asked to come back in a week for a second ultrasound to confirm triplets!
Did I have the courage to get through this high-risk pregnancy?
By 22 weeks I was the size of full term singleton pregnancy. A few days before my next appointment I felt like I was leaking amniotic fluid.
I was admitted into the hospital to monitor Baby A overnight. An ultrasound confirmed her fluid was low and that she was much smaller than the other two. I was sent home the next day officially on bedrest.
Ten days in and I was sent by ambulance from our local hospital to St. Vincent Women's Hospital in Indianapolis. I was admitted for observation for the contractions I was having. I was sent home the next day with medication if they started again.
My husband left for a work trip to Florida and the next day I was admitted into the hospital again. At 26 weeks 4, days I was there for the rest of my pregnancy.
Did I have the courage to survive this hospital stay alone?
I was kind of happy because the babies would now be monitored daily, but I had no idea just how horrible the next month would be. An overnight stay in a hospital is doable. A week stay is worse. I was an in-patient for almost a month. I don’t wish that on anyone no matter the reason they are there.
On a snowy morning in February I stood up to go to the bathroom and thought I had peed. For some reason, I felt like I needed to let the nurse know. She rushed to get the doctor. He checked me and said “Call your husband. It looks like you’re having the babies today. What? Today? I’m only 29 weeks 5 days. Then I was scared.
That afternoon I was wheeled into the operating room for my c-section. Including myself and my husband, there was the anesthesiologist, 3 doctors, several nurses, and a neonatal nurse for each of the babies. I just laid on the table and cried.
Did I have the courage to do this?
Jase was born first. He was 2lbs 6oz and 15 inches long. He didn’t make a sound. I didn’t even get to see him. Seconds later Henley was born. At 2lbs 3oz and just over 12 inches long, she cried, but I didn’t get to see her either. Sadie Marie came last at 2lbs 2oz and 13 inches long. No sounds from her either. She was whisked away too. I cried and cried and cried.
About an hour later I was wheeled into the NICU to finally see the babies. After 76, 103, and 108 day NICU stays I brought my babies home.
It turns out I did have the courage to become the mother that I always wanted to be.
Almost 4 1/2 years later I am here, surviving and thriving with happy, healthy, crazy preschoolers. Although them being born so prematurely wasn’t ideal, God had a plan for them. I can’t wait to see what else he has in store for my sweet peas. Their lives may have begun at birth, but it was life after the NICU that we all really began living.
Angela is the mother of 4-year-old triplets Jase, Henley, and Sadie. She spends her days loving and sometimes loathing the experience of raising triplets. When she’s not chasing three preschoolers you can find her blogging and drinking an entire pot of coffee in one day.
Connect with Angela on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Dala Thomas McDevitt
“If you can’t tolerate critics, don’t do anything new or interesting” –Jeff Bezos.
I had done everything I was supposed to. Graduated high school with honors and got into the University of Texas at Austin. Responsibly worked throughout college and maintained a 3.8 GPA. Graduated in 4 years and got a job as a Labor & Delivery Nurse. Took out a lease on a Honda Civic, and began paying off the impressive student loan debt I had accrued in my pursuit of happiness. I hated Mondays and drank on Fridays, just like everyone else.
My life was cookie-cutter perfect on the outside, but inside there was an ever-present emotion of discontent and disconnect with “who” I was. Recently out of a bad relationship and living alone for the first time in my life, there was never a better time for a fresh start. With little idea about what was going to make me happier, I decided to eat healthier and workout, as these were seemingly the societal go-to’s to “feel better”. It’s always the small things that end up being the bravest and biggest steps to self-discovery.
When I cut out the crap food, I wasn’t so tired all the time. When I cut out the alcohol, I wasn’t so hungover each morning. When I started working out, it sparked a relationship with my body that wasn’t rooted in shame and self-consciousness. As my body healed, my mind was revitalized and suddenly filled with curiosity and creativity. Now willingly rising with the sun each morning, I increased my productive time by 30% and had to seek out new hobbies. Because health had been the catalyst to this awakening, I dove deeper into the subject.
Knowledge became my mentor, my body my subject, experimentation my best friend, and, interestingly, Instagram my medium of expression. I voraciously explored audiobooks, documentaries, articles, blogs, YouTube videos, anything that helped me learn more about the mind-body connection and how to enhance it. I shared my experiences through Instagram, becoming increasingly open and public about my journey, my trails, and my errors.
My acquisition of knowledge slowly engulfed previously unreachable beliefs of self-worth, self-love, mindfulness, meditation, revolutionary ideas of sexuality, and the overwhelming realization that love is most powerful of all.
I was happier, healthier, more confident, and more positive than I had ever been in my life, so you can imagine my surprise when I began receiving more negativity from others than ever before.
I was told that my new comfortability with my body was slutty, that my fervor for health was an eating disorder, that my positive rhetoric was a guised cry for help, that my aversion to alcohol and junk food was seeded in obsessive vanity, that my new lotus tattoo was impulsive and self-destructive, and my new hair cut my Britney Spears meltdown moment. It was remarkable to see how many were threatened by my campaign to like myself.
How am I supposed to keep doing what is making me happy if my loved ones are telling me I’m in desperate need of help? Don’t they know me better than anyone? Shouldn’t I listen to them? Aren’t they just trying to help me?? The alienation I felt was profound.
As I submitted to the dark loneliness I perceived to be inevitable, I was shocked to find the loneliness was more of welcoming adventure. I was content to be alone because I, for the first time, enjoyed the company. I was okay exploring my next steps without the consultations and opinions of others because I didn’t feel I needed their approval anymore.
What a revelation! My name is Dala Thomas: I like myself, I trust myself, and I have within me the courage to become the very best and most loving woman I can be.
I used social media and devoted myself to disseminating ideas of positive body image and self-love, to the creation of meal plans and workout programs to guide others in improving health, and to online coaching so that perhaps I could help other alienated women feel safe and supported.
I began to live differently, to dress differently, to carry myself differently and to speak of myself differently as the joy I felt impregnated all facets of my life. I was bursting with affection and inspiration, and knew that I was never hurting anyone else despite what problems some took up with my new lifestyle.
I had finally learned how to share my light with the world, and it was this light that found Sean and brought him to me.
Strangers on social media became my closest allies. They did not ever know the “before” Dala, only the one they saw in front of them and therefore had no inherent aversion to my transformation. The only difference between these humans and the ones originally in my life was that they did not have to endure or understand change.
As a year came and went, I saw friends and family re-enter my life when the danger they purported disintegrated to a faint illusion. I thought accepting them again after so long would be difficult, but there was now so much peace in my life that forgiveness was second nature.
The most challenging part of my journey was finding the courage to become something other than what my closest friends and family already knew me as. People will warn you not to embark on a new journey, but only because they cannot yet see your destination, and fear is the most powerful motivator of all. Your path may go against the grain of your peers, but that not does mean it is wrong. The road to self-discovery may at times be lonely, but it is better to know yourself than to know a hundred others. Act in love, and you will never be lost.
This self-realized, joyful, life-giving women is what I had to find the courage to become. The “what” is not important here; we all can and should become thousands of different things. Courage itself is the vital ingredient, giving life to your dreams and a blind eye to doubt. Muster the courage to get to know yourself, and you will find your “what”. Then share it with the world and realize the true potential of how beautiful you can be.
Dala is partnering with Kendra Scott on September 6th. Kendra Scott is giving back %20 of proceeds to Hospitals! I will be there, Dala will be there and so will other amazing women. We'd love to see you there!
Kendra Scott - September 6th - 6-8pm - South Congress Location - Austin, Texas
If you'd like to keep up with Dala, and why wouldn't you? She is seriously so uplifting and empowering - find her on Instagram or on her web site. Side note - I am a student of her Booty Program - and IT WORKS! (Not sponsored - just genuinely enthusiastic) :)
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Laura Morsman-Churchill
The Courage to Become a Business Owner + Enjoy it
Hey there! My name is Laura Morsman-Churchill, I created Laura Morsman Photography, my destination editorial photography company -- in 2013 when I first moved to Austin by total accident after years of working as a manager for Anthropologie! I am originally from Kansas City live in Austin, Texas with my music teacher husband John, and our two pups, Mr. Hitchens and Muffy!
Being the 2nd oldest child of 6 in my family, (with the youngest two currently 10 years old) many of my clients ask me how I can keep my calm in the middle of the chaos of working with so many people, and I always refer back to the incredibly beautiful circus living in a big family does to a person. You just go with the flow ;)
One thing I was afraid of doing but did anyway was….
Definitely starting my own business, but up until it happened, I had no idea that it was what I wanted to be doing!! I never had dreams of being an entrepreneur or a business owner. I went to college to become a child psychologist and art therapist, and left my senior year after a traumatic life event two semesters away from graduating. I honestly had no goal to be a photographer, and no clear direction with a career path. When people started asking me if I would photograph their families (after they saw me photograph my own big family), I just never said no, and now I'm here! It was definitely/honestly was a case of "fake it till you make it".
Getting started felt…
Absolutely crazy. I had been so conditioned to working a 40+ hour week, managing a team, setting monetary sales goal, with a bi-monthly paycheck and health insurance. When it came to the point where I grew to have each of my weekends taken up by photo shoots, my husband was absolutely the one responsible for pushing me past my comfort zone and finally stepping down as manager, to a part time employee, and finally taking my leave after almost 5 years with a company I truly loved.
My business wouldn't exist without that terrifying leap and definitely wouldn't have happened if my husband hadn't had been there to push me off the ledge of self-doubt.
Obstacles I faced getting started…
Oh man. Where to start. When I first started my photography business, I don't want to say that I didn't have confidence, I feel like that was one thing I did have because I didn't intend to be a photographer at all! With that, if I ever did get a push back or even just a question from a potential client about my prices, ideas, location options, I shrank on the inside.
Learning how to stand by what I was offering was one of the hardest details for me but once I got it, and knew that what I was offering was valuable, that was such a great area of growth that shifted my entire business. Dividing my actual worth and my business has been an incredibly hard but extremely powerful journey for me.
I am motivated by…
My love for people motivates me to keep photographing them. Knowing the intricacy and quickness of life keeps my mind desiring to document it as much as I can.
The most pivotal moment in my life to date was my closest friend suddenly passing away when I was 18. I had taken a photo of him hours before he was killed, and realizing how important that moment caught in time was to me, I think of how people view their loved ones, and I want to capture every ounce of spirit in my clients lives that I can.
We aren't promised anything in life, but we get into grooves where it feels as if we will have all that is around us forever. I do my best to document this world through the eyes of loving it so much, and then I give that viewpoint back to my clients. I love it so so much.
The living person I admire most is…
Without a doubt, it's Ellen DeGeneres. Despite the adversity she found herself in at the very start of her career, she persevered through the doubt and absolute judgement people put up against her best efforts and showed the world how to love, smile, and laugh, even amidst people's small mindedness or life's pains. Look at that shining, loving light of a person now and how many lives she has changed. She was always Ellen, and she knew that 100% without anyone's acceptance. It just took the world years to realize how much she had to share.
I would most like to have the talent to…
I would love to have the opposite of stage fright when it comes to singing!! My mom was an opera singer, and taught me the craft! I absolutely love LOVE singing... and in a former or future life, that would be what I'd be doing! One of these days you'll find me on a stage or at an outdoor venue singing a tune or two ;)
My most marked characteristic is…
I have been told often that I am very tolerant/patient. That totally makes me laugh though! I definitely go back to the whole large family bit. You can't be impatient when 5 people need dinner, want to play outside, are missing a shoe, trying to ride the dog like a horse, or need their seat belt buckled!
A motto I try to live by is…
As simple as it is, it's "Live and let live". In our life we always seem to wait for others to accept the way/path/route we've chosen before we accept it as OK for ourselves. Especially in a world where our lives are encouraged to be documented in portfolio form through social media and shown to the entire world essentially awaiting their approval. You do you and I'll do me, and let's just love each other through understanding, or if there isn't that, through acceptance and respect.
Some things I am proud to have accomplished are…
Hmm... That's hard to have an answer to! For me, my biggest accomplishments in my mind were emotional rather than career focused. My high school and college years were my toughest and some I almost didn't make it through. Accepting the recovery path after almost losing my life to anorexia and deciding to live past the pain in losing friends at an early age to me were things I never thought I could endure. I am still in awe of being on this side of those seasons and am more thankful than ever to be able to relate and walk with those going through the same experiences.
Some hopes I have for my future are…
I don't really know! It takes a lot for me to stay in the present. I love where I am, and if I could do this forever, I would! I am so happy with where this hustle has gotten me, I love my life. At this point, I get to travel to see my family, experience my youngest siblings growing up, and things keep getting better. I would love to photograph families, wedding and fashion all around the world. And I'm doing that! My hope for the future would be continued opportunities and continual expansion of where my photography finds itself!
One piece of advice I would give women about to embark on this journey is…
I talk about this all the time when people are approaching photography as a business, a blog, anything. You can't go into it with others’ opinions or acceptances being your compass or scale of your value or success. You go into something like this accepting success or failure with the same open arms, and also realizing that this isn't your only skill, your only value, or your only purpose. Someone asked me on a podcast interview if I had a plan B, and if I did, then I wasn't a real photographer. My answer was that if I didn't have a plan B, then I was shortchanging myself on my own abilities, because I am so much more than a photographer and if I needed to, I would totally dive into anything else I love doing!
The second part to this is the most important to me -- It's loving others and embracing their success despite your own. Your business shouldn't adjust your heart towards others, and if anything, it should stretch it. As hard as it is, try to nix competition and embrace encouragement.
If you tend to compare, put yourself down, and lose your steam when you are watching other's success -- don't watch others. If you find yourself feeling like a failure when you see others on Instagram seemingly soaring with their pursuits and business, do yourself a favor and shut that app OFF!
You do you, no one else can take that uniqueness away from you! Soon enough you'll see that your own ideas and the way you approach, brand, document your work will have its own personality since it isn't being squelched or influenced by people walking their own unique paths!
Essay by: Laura Morsman-Churchil
I am honored to know Laura, she is a gem of a person. Right?! Can't you just feel her peace. I think it's so powerful.
Run don't walk to Laura! You'll be glad you did!!!! She's based in Austin, but travels the country! Maybe she'll stop in your neck of the woods next!!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Sarah Donovan
The Courage to Face Anxiety + Help Women Rise
As a young girl, you could find me painting flowers or vintage VOGUE covers. I guess you could say that was the beginning of my career as an artist. And all along the way, my mom encouraged me to keep a paintbrush in my hand. Even though I tried my hand at other things, my heart always lead me back to painting.
I knew I loved art and design AND I have always had a desire to be with people and love people.
My parents were always caring for others and their family members so I have them to thank for this characteristic.
In 2006 I was blessed with the opportunity to share this love for people by visiting Uganda on a mission trip. My goal was to share love with Ugandans, but these beautiful people showed me a love that is truly indescribable.
During college, I went through a series of rough patches. I enjoyed partying and boys more than studying for a period of time. (Anybody else?) And after some questionable decisions, I came to the realization that I wasn't loving myself.
Shortly after this fun phase, I met my precious husband Andrew. And a year after graduating college (babies!), we were married.
I knew I loved Andrew when we got married, but through life's challenges, I have really gotten to know his loyalty – and I admire him the most. He is my rock, and literally the other half of me. I admire his ability to lead without being cocky, his kindness, and his love for myself and our son.
I struggled to find a job so I started teaching art at a local art school. While teaching, I took freelance creative jobs and began my stationery business, The Stationery Bakery.
At first I focused on wedding invitations and over the past few years the business had transformed and now I illustrate greeting cards, prints, and home + gift items.
But while that is my passion career wise, I also have an insane passion for loving my husband and kid.
After becoming a mom, and experiencing some personal hardships, I discovered my drive to support and love women.
Let’s rewind to 2014.
While I had a seemingly healthy pregnancy, I experienced anxiety around ultrasound appointments. And even after determining everything was fine, I turned into a beautiful anxious mess!
During the end of my pregnancy, I was convinced I was dying. And that anxiety ramped up after having George.
I was obsessed with this kid and was constantly worried something would happen to him or myself. And after a few long months of suffering the grips of anxiety, I got help from an amazing counselor in Austin, Brett Brightwell. I experienced a total identity crisis when becoming a mom!
(The identity crisis happens to most of us ;) , only I didn’t know that.) Thankfully, I was and have been able to work through the root causes of my anxiety.
In addition to counseling, it became clear that I was dealing with postpartum anxiety and OCD and so I got on medication under the guidance of Suzanne Grantham out of Austin.
When I started to feel some relief, I decided to break my silence and speak out about my experience. Speaking out was therapeutic and I met women who struggled with similar chaos. Then, I started to find a sense of community among other women.
Seeing the importance of community among women and the growing need for mental health support, I felt inspired to start a small support group. The group is called Moms Arising and the goal is to provide a safe environment that encourages women to rise up even in the midst of challenging times.
It's so hard to be a woman.
It's brutal to be a mom.
My hope is to continue to seek for answers within myself so that my confidence will encourage other women to do the same.
My anxiety is not cured, it is still a part of my life today. I still look over my shoulder from time to time waiting for a crippling panic attack. However, I have found relief in surrounding myself with a tribe that I love and trust. And my tribe is constantly evolving because of the unique people I meet each day.
In addition to my husband and my tribe, I have found a lot of healing in my faith and personal relationship with God. I used to think of God as this judging figure shaking his head at my poor decisions – but I have come to understand him as a loving father embracing me (entirely) in every moment.
We all go through scary times, but we can use those moments to reflect and meditate. Those times are what shape who we are and who we become.
Essay by: Sarah Donovan
I feel so lucky to have Sarah share her story with us! She worked through her fears AND had the wherewithal to take action and help other women! That is the definition of amazing and community and a strong woman. Wow!!!!
Stop by and say hi to Sarah and pick up some of her GORGEOUS ART WORK !
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
