The Courage to Become | Frances Saldivar-Morales
Sisters, you never know what kind of impact you are having. Keep doing good work, being kind, staying steady. We don't have to preach, or gather a following or have a fancy business to make a difference. Do what your heart calls you to do, and do it well. That is plenty. The universe will do the rest.
Tonight, I want to share a letter with you. This landed in my inbox in March and I've been waiting to share it with you - to shine a light on Frances ( tonight's author) and also to remind you that you matter and YOU DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
When I wrote The Courage to Become, I had no idea who I would impact, seriously. But the more days go by, the more I realize my experience and my sharing and truth have impacted women and families that I never would have imagined.
Enjoy Frances' story. It's one of challenge and courage, grace and triumph.
---
Catia,
It truly was a pleasure meeting you at the book signing on Saturday. I didn’t expect to be overcome with so many emotions when we spoke, but I appreciate your kind words, warmth, patience and suggestion to email you. This gives me an opportunity to share how your book made a difference in my life—almost breaking down in tears aside.
I graduated from WHS in 2002, and although we never crossed words, I recall you being an upperclassman and drum major when I was a pacesetter. I immediately recognized your face about a year ago while scrolling through Facebook. Being from the same small town, we have several mutual friends on social media and one of them must have shared your page re: Confidence Revolution. Faith and positive/inspirational/motivational content have been my guiding light and driving force through tough times.
“Outgoing,” a word no one would have used to describe me! Growing up, I had a few close friends, and standing out would have been mortifying. I just wanted to study and earn good grades to go to college and earn a degree—all of which I did, not standing out. In 2007, at the age of 23, I had a Master of Science in Communication Sciences and Disorders and began a career as a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) in my home town. I accomplished a lot, and before I knew it, I had a career that paid well enough to live a comfortable life and help my parents. As a first generation Mexican-American, my drive stemmed from my parents’ hope that their children would get an education greater than what they had the opportunity to accomplish.
From 2010-2013, I experienced symptoms that my doctors could not put their finger on: shortness of breath, significant fatigue, a dry cough that just wouldn’t go away, and eventually, I began spitting up traces of blood when I coughed. During that time, I underwent multiple chest x-rays, allergy tests, TB tests, took allergy medications and used inhalers to no avail. In the fall of 2013, my now husband and I experienced a miscarriage. I was 7 weeks along when it happened. I know they say you experience shortness of breath during pregnancy, but it usually occurs much later in the process. During those 7 weeks, I felt my shortness of breath intensify. Working as a pediatric SLP, depending on my patients’ abilities, I’d plop on the floor with them, jump around, or carry them from one location to the next if they were infants. I couldn’t understand why I needed to catch my breath so often, even when talking—because, hello, that’s my bread and butter as an SLP—so early in the pregnancy.
If we were going to try to get pregnant again, we needed answers about my lungs. My family doctor decided to send me to a pulmonologist to get a high-resolution CT of the chest. One week before Christmas, on December 18, 2013, we got the answer: Lymphangioleiomyomatosis (LAM). I felt overwhelmed with emotions: shocked, sad, scared, and RELIEF—I finally had an answer! I was 29 years of age.
Is it my true belief that God had other plans for me. I always had that tunnel vision—work hard, earn a degree, make a difference in children’s lives, work, work, work. My career was MY THING; I worked my butt off to get there! In 2014, my LAM diagnosis progressed from a ‘mild’ to a ‘moderate-severe’ stage. I experienced 2 back-to-back right-lung collapses, invasive lung surgery, chest tubes, was on supplemental oxygen 24/7, began taking the only medication that could potentially slow LAM progression, and began consulting with Houston Methodist Lung Transplant Center. I had to leave my profession--MY THING. I have undergone much emotional and physical pain, but through this, I have learned to push my limits and to "stand out" for a reason. I have further explored the things I never thought I could do. I’m not completely there in terms of putting myself out there, but I AM evolving. I think it was God’s way of saying that there is SO MUCH MORE out there. It’s unfortunate that sometimes, the only way we step back to REALLY appreciate life is when we go through life-changing experiences. You know how they say, “What advice would you give to your younger self?” I think a more gratifying way is to SHARE your experiences with others before they ever go through any negative experiences in hopes that they will grip to something in your story and use it as a life lesson.
In “The Courage to Become,” you talked about leaving your career, making less money, and feeling less powerful and scared. I completely related with that. Before leaving my profession, I earned more than my husband and not once did it ever make me feel “more than” him. In fact, I felt we were equal. We both had a career in the healthcare field—we met at work—and I never had to ask him for money, nor did he to me. I took pride in being able to pay MY car, MY student loans, etc. on my own. It took an emotional toll on me and much, much time for me to come to terms with the fact that WE are a partnership. No matter what the situation, we will have each other’s back. I too feel blessed with “the one” I chose and that he chose me too.
LAM took a lot from me, but it has also opened so many doors. I have found other passions, including yoga, reading, considering adoption, and being an active advocate for myself and others living with LAM. Since diagnosis, family and friends have helped me host two LAM Awareness 5K’s in the RGV, and all proceeds went to The LAM Foundation to help fund research for a CURE. I had the opportunity to speak to a large room of LAM patients, family/friends, researchers and clinicians about my LAM diagnosis and hope for a cure at a LAMpoisum conference. I became a LAM co-liaison for my region and am a source of support for newly diagnosed patients and all those living with LAM in my region. My co-liaison and I host annual regional meetings for patients, family/friends and the medical community. I make it a point to speak to others about LAM because it truly takes a village to make this rare disease known—which is why I shared the LAM pamphlet with you. The more people that are aware, the more likely we are to find undiagnosed women to share hope with. I also take part in LAM research at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) in hopes of finding other treatment options and a cure in the near future.
In Chicago as I shared my LAM story with patients/family/friends, clinicians, and researchers.
Approved by and Photo Credit goes to Kelsey Adams: K- Adams Foto Photography taken at LAMposium
Many have complemented me on my positive outlook despite the circumstances. The reality is, we all have it in us, we just have to choose. Sometimes, we’re just blind to all that is in us because we get so caught up in our lives. You and other writers/speakers continue to motivate me to LOVE and LIVE intentionally. After reading your book, although we never met, I felt like I knew you, and you were that friend that you can speak so openly to—hence why I practically wrote my life story in this email—oops! Your genuine, raw accounts of experiences encourage others to stay motivated. The way you spoke about sisterhood has a deep-rooted connection in my heart, because that’s what LAM women call each other, "LAM sister.” A sister is someone you love dearly and want the best for; you have a connection, a bond. I could feel the love your poured into this book, and the guidance and inspiration you wanted to impart on those reading it! Thank you for the prayer at the end of the book. May you truly know your life had a ripple effect on mine.
Best regards,
Frances Saldivar-Morales
To find out more about LAM you find them here, on their home page and on Facebook.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Penny Williamson Lucas
I am a survivor. I am free. I am blessed.
I say these words to myself often. I have survived abusive marriages and my son dying in an accident when he was 9. Some days I wonder how I’m still standing but then I remind myself that it’s God’s grace and love and the love of the people in my life.
Timmy was my only child from my marriage to my high school sweetheart. My husband was a young alcoholic who saw his dad abuse his mom so it was a normal thing in his world. I divorced him when I was 21. In 1999, Timmy was 9 and he fell on an electric fence while visiting his grandparents and his airway closed up. He was alone at the time so no one was there to save him. I was completely devastated. I grew up in church. Every Sunday morning/night and Wednesdays we were in the building. When Timmy died, especially in such a horrific way, I was furious at God. I didn’t go to church, pray or even let myself think about Him. Why would he take my only child? I couldn’t understand it. Little by little my faith reminded me that God is in control. I will never understand why my child died but I rejoice in the fact that I will see and be with him again one day. I cherish every memory that I have.
Seven months after Timmy died, I was fortunate enough to get a job at the Texas School for the Deaf in the middle school office. Being around the students helped fill the hole that losing Timmy had left in my life. The friends I’ve made in the last 18 years here will be life long friends. About 10 years ago I started doing community service projects with the students and I love it so much. We have prepared lunch at the Ronald McDonald House, served lunch at a soup kitchen, reorganized the library and did sign language classes for the kids at the Helping Hand Home and various fund raisers to send money to different organizations. Helping children fills me with much joy.
I met husband #2 in Dallas night club in 1997. This marriage had a new set of complications because he is black and in the 90’s it wasn’t that common around Austin. I saw a whole different side of life and it was not always nice. As diverse as Austin has a reputation of being, when I was out with him, I was treated horribly. We would get seated in the worst part of restaurants and our service was not as good as I got when I was not with him. I had no problem speaking up about it but it was unreal to me. I didn’t let that affect my marriage or my desire to have children. We are blessed to have 2 daughters who bring so much happiness and laughter to my life every day. I was in that marriage for 8 years and though there was no physical abuse, there was mental and emotional abuse. I wanted to make the marriage work badly. We went to counseling more than once and I tried my best. I couldn’t be divorced TWICE!! But when you are married and feel single, that is no way to live. I struggled with the thought of God being upset with me for yet another divorce. Finally, I just didn’t think that He would want me to be so unhappy and He knew how hard I tried so I went through divorce #2.
By 2008 I had been single for 5 years, really tired of the dating life. I met, online, the biggest mistake of my life. An ex-con who was the sweetest talking, most persuasive man I’ve ever known. I believed everything that he said, including the lie that he wouldn’t hurt me again every time he did it. After we were together for 6 months, he went back to jail, where I married him…I know, what was I thinking!?!?! For the next 3.5 years while he was in prison, I was the loyal wife that visited every weekend, wrote every day, and put money on the books.
When he made parole and came home, he put my daughters, my mom and me through hell for the following 3.5 years. He was abusive in every way. He would disappear, my money would disappear, my peace disappeared. I thought he was going to kill me more than once. At the end of September 2015 was the final time I suffered his abuse. I finally followed through with filing charges and he fled the state. When he tried to contact me, I didn’t respond. I had no guilt in filing for this divorce.
The most often asked question to abused people is why did you stay? It’s a very frustrating question to be asked because it’s impossible to explain. People that know me and those that meet me can’t believe I was in an abusive marriage because I’m not meek or weak by any means. It’s different for everyone. I wasn’t financially dependent on him, quite the opposite. I didn’t need on him for shelter or food. We didn’t have children together. I didn’t NEED him but he convinced me I did. He isolated me from my friends and some of my family. He made me feel that I couldn’t keep a marriage going and that no one else would ever want me. He made me forget that I was God’s child, precious and worthy of being treated that way. I was told once that abused people will stay in that relationship until they hit a wall and I found that to be 100% true. I was so fortunate to get out alive.
I was that girl that always needed to be in some type of relationship. There was a desperate need to fill a void that I had inside me. For a year after that final assault, I went into hibernation and healed. The joy that he had taken away came back. My girls, family, friends and church wrapped me so tight in love, forgiveness, grace and understanding. I finally know that I am 100% awesome all by myself. I don’t need a partner to fulfill me, I am more than enough. I had constantly given that power to other people. No more.
For those who are in an abusive situation. You are worthy of love, you are special, you deserve better. Trust that I know it’s not easy to leave. I know others don’t understand that….I understand 100%. You are God’s child and He wants you to be safe and happy…so do I and everyone that loves you. You have probably been convinced that no one else loves you…please know you ARE LOVED!!!
For anyone who has lost a child, the loss is always there but the burden of it gets easier to bear as time passes. I focus on the almost 10 years that I was blessed to have him here as my boy. I celebrate his life and that I was so lucky to be his mommy. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
I am more thankful than I can express for my mom and my girls. They have loved and supported me at my worst and my best. As much as I tried to shield them, they had to live through a lot of the horrors of my last marriage had and I will forever regret that. My sister, Bonnie and 2 cousins, Terri and Laura (the Fearsome Foursome) get me through life in a constant group text. We support each other daily and I don’t know what I’d do without them.
I thank God for giving me everything that I have. With everything that I have endured and overcome I love the person that I am. I am a good mother, daughter, sister, friend. My life is peaceful. My finances are secure. My house is full of laughter and love every day.
When Catia asked me to do this blog and I looked at some of the former blogs, I was a bit intimidated at first. I don’t have a business, I haven’t written a book, I haven't finished college (yet). I’m just a country girl from Mississippi that has been through a few things. The more I thought about it, there are probably people reading this that have lost a child or have been in, or are still in abusive situations. My prayer is that I can give someone hope that things can get better. I am proof.
I am a survivor. I am free. I am blessed.
Essay by: Penny Williamson Lucas
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Jessica Honegger
In July 2017 I reached out Jessica Honegger via Instagram.
I thought, what do I have to lose?
I had been falling head over heels with Noonday Collection, a company she founded and is CO-CEO of. If you’ve not yet heard of Noonday Collection, get ready for your heart to be cracked wide open.
Noonday Collection serves people worldwide by providing opportunity for dignified work. They walk into corners of the world where there are beautiful people and beautiful cultures, but not beautiful opportunity – and then, they create it.
Noonday creates a big, wide open space for artisans in underdeveloped countries to flourish. Noonday sources handmade, fair-trade accessories and through a network of upwards of 2,000 ambassadors – creates a marketplace for artisans to show the best of what their culture has to offer.
In July 2017 a few things were happening in my career, season 1 of The Courage to Become: Sister Stories of Hope had wrapped up, season 2 was about to begin. My first book, similarly titled, The Courage to Become: Stories of Hope for Navigating Love, Marriage and Motherhood, was about to publish.
Reaching out to someone as accomplished and impactful as Jessica can bring up all sorts of nerves. What right do I even have to reach out to her?
--
About 6 years ago my brother asked me to go sky diving with him.
The night before our jump, I had butterflies, BIG ONES. Getting into a plane with AN OPEN DOOR, made my knees wobbly. Flying in a plane, seeing the trees get smaller and smaller as we flew to 10,000 ft. made me sweat. And approaching the of OPEN DOOR of the plane while 10,000 feet in the air –knowing I would be LAUNCHED OUT made me question my sanity.
The diving instructor yelled, “Squat, approach the door, and hang your toes over the side of the plane.” OH CRAP.
Then he said, “Make yourself into a tiny ball and on the count of three, we’re going. One, two, AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
I was free falling from 10,000 feet negotiating a smile while my cheeks flapped in the wind.
Was the hardest part landing? Falling? No.
The hardest part was the lead up.
So when I make big asks, like reaching out to Jessica -- I remind myself the hardest part is the lead up. If I can garner enough energy and courage to launch -- the rest will be fine.
So I launched, made the big ask and after some coordination - the day came! I was on my way to the Noonday Collection home office to interview Jessica.
DREAM DAY!
I prayed that God would keep me grounded in kindness and love and that I would remain present.
The space was beautiful and useful, just like their mission and just like each of Noonday’s pieces.
Jessica greeted me with a big hug and we were off, chatting like two normal gals!
Here’s how the interview went:
What’s one thing you are proud of becoming?
“I am proud of becoming a woman who is not afraid to be herself. In high school, there were two distinct parking lots, the west parking lot and the jock lot.” She said, “I had friends in both groups and always went between the two. I have learned to hold the tensions of seemingly contradictory feelings or things. I can love hiking and rock lash extensions, love fair-trade and also love luxury, love green smoothies and chips and queso!”
What keeps you going when you’re knee deep in mud?
“I have been exposed to real suffering in the world. I have seen poverty and malnourishment and broken systems. I believe it’s my clear assignment to contribute to these areas. How can you get stuck when you know so many things need help?”
What’s your version of making it?
“I have a certain sense of making it. I am satisfied with my career. There is a certain sense of being settled in Austin and in Noonday. That said, my bigger version of making it is having transformed thousands of people’s lives. A lot more change can be affected.”
Do you think you’ll do Noonday forever?
“Yes.”
What are your hopes for Noonday?
“I hope that Noonday continues to grow and become a household name. There are pockets of people we still need to introduce Noonday to. I want to shine a light on Noonday’s story and community through the Going Scared podcast and my upcoming book, Imperfect Courage.”
What’s one think you’d still like to become?
“I would like to become more productive. And more importantly I would like to become reflexively peaceful and loving.”
Being Noonday’s fuel requires a lot of hard work. Who modeled grit for you as a child? Where did you learn to work so hard?
“I learned grit from my parents. You know, I was industrious as a kid. I would sell handmade jewelry. Both my parents worked really hard. My mom sold homewares and decorations out of our home while my Dad worked hard outside the home.”
What’s the biggest surprise Noonday has brought you?
“It’s all been a huge surprise, an absolute adventure.”
--
Toward the end of our chat, we started talking about my book, The Courage to Become.
And Jessica got up from her seat, walked over to a side table and said, “I think I have it here. Oh yes, here it is.” And she pulled out my book.
Sometime in the fall, Jessica posted on Instagram and the spirit of the post was, What Can I help you celebrate? And I commented, “I just published my first book, The Courage to Become!” And she commented, “Grabbing a copy now!” And I thought it was sweet of her to show enthusiasm, but in no way did I think she’d follow through.
So when she pulled out my book a few things were going through my mind.
The first was gratitude, and the second was, she is who she says she is.
She is a cultivator of community, a true supporter, a woman’s woman.
--
I know what you’re thinking, where are all the photos of this wonderful day?
I didn’t take one photo.
In today’s day and age of promotion and hashtags and riding people’s coattails – No photo? No proof? No perfectly curated photo of this magical meeting. NOT ONE.
Before I walked in, I prayed to God that he would help me stay in the moment and stay grounded, and he did just that.
I just knew – it wasn’t a moment for selfies, or hashtags or Instastories – it was a moment to connect.
I hope you’ve gleaned a little more about Jessica’s heart and Noonday’s mission, but what I really want you to know is that she brave, and loving and that she tries – really hard to change the world for the better, every day.
I want you to know that she loves her family with all she's got.
And I want you to know that she believes in you and when and if you’re ready, Noonday Collection will welcome you to the table of creating community, impacting social justice and creating dignified work for people all across the globe.
Visit Noonday Collection on the web, on Facebook, on Instagram
Visit Jessica Honegger on the web, on Facebook, on Instagram
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Aseky Bonnaire
“Everything happens for a reason”-says everyone when something unfortunate or inconvenient happens.
My name Is Aseky Bonnaire and I live for that quote. I’m a millennial mom raising three boys in Sunny Orlando Florida. I’m married to my high school sweet heart, and childhood crush. I like to think I have it all figured out, but I don’t, nor will I ever, but let a girl think she does haha. I guess I should go into depth more about myself. I met my husband when I was 11 years old and had THE biggest crush on him. We started dating when I was 15 and he was 16. We dated from sophomore year all throughout High School. We did homecoming dances, prom, graduation, the whole 9 yards.
After high school we both went to the local State College. After the first semester flew by, I decided, I love this college thing and I don’t want a baby to interrupt anything. I went to my OB to get a script for birth control, and that’s where I found out I was pregnant. Literally at that moment, it felt like my entire world caved in on me. I was just going to be another teen mom. I was going to live a hard life, I was never going to be able to be on my own 2 feet, and I would have to rely on my mom forever. After our family found out and all the initial shock went away, we actually got really excited to be bringing in a life into this world. Renaldo Jr (RJ) was brought into this world October 23, 2012. We were young, and didn’t know what the heck we were doing, but we knew we had each other and we wanted the best life possible for him. Throughout my entire pregnancy I stayed in school, and even a week after delivering I was going in to take mandatory tests. Renaldo (my boyfriend at the time, now husband) landed a good job, making decent money (for a 20 year old) in customer service (he still works there BTW).
We moved out of my Mom’s house when RJ was 7 months old. We moved into a townhouse 100% on our own. We saved up as much as we could from Renaldo working 5 days a week, 50+ hours, all while I was in school full time. We felt like ‘we made it’. I don’t know if you remember how it felt when you first moved out on your own, whether it was college, or when you got married, but it’s an indescribable feeling. Shortly after moving I got my first “big girl” job at the hospital working in finance. Because of that job, I took a break on school, but also because of that job, we could afford more things outside of bills. When RJ was 11 months old, Renaldo bought me an engagement ring and asked me to be his wife. For the next 12 months we planned our dream wedding, I switched departments at work so I could be home more, bought our first brand new car and went on a bachelorette/ bachelor cruise. Our wedding came and it wasn’t short of perfect. All of our childhood best friends were there, and it was just a great time with great people.
Shortly after our honeymoon we got pregnant with our 2nd son. My husband got promoted (this was his 4th promotion within the 3 years) but It was that pregnancy that I found my love for blogging, and connecting with other women via Instagram. That’s when I discovered the power of a hashtag LOL! Good pregnancy overall. He was born June 17, 2015. We brought him home to our little 2 bedroom townhouse. We knew we wanted to move into something bigger, but never thought we would be able to buy a house. Come on, we were only 22/23 years old. While on maternity leave, I got bored and saw an ad that went something like “you can have a mortgage as low as your rent!” so I called that number, one thing lead to another, obstacle after obstacle, few months went by, and we became homeowners. Shortly after becoming homeowners, I got pregnant with our third (totally not planned, I was breastfeeding. So FYI Breastfeeding IS NOT BIRTHCONTROL. It doesn’t work. Joel is proof haha) but he’s such a blessing and the perfect addition to our family. We literally brought him into the world in that home (no, seriously, I delivered him at home with no one but my husband and kids present). And now we are currently renovating the house from the floor up.
Not only were we home owners, we became homeowners at 22 and 23 year olds, with 2 kids, in the city where we both grew up, completely on our own, and not living up to the stereotype people categorized us in. There is such a negative stigma with being a teen mom. People automatically assume you’re going to live a hard and tough life. While YES, it was hard having a kid at 19, yes there were times we had no clue how we were going to put gas until the next paycheck, but did it stop us, NO! I feel that so many young moms and teen moms automatically categorize themselves and determine their future before they even give themselves a shot at anything.
Having a super supportive (emotionally and financially) partner plays a HUGE role in all of this. Renaldo and I are a team. We’re in this together. We grew up and matured together, and at the same pace, so we were always on the same page when it came to goals that we wanted to achieve. Buying a house is definitely not my ‘I made it’ moment, nor will it come from anything materialistic.
My ‘I made it’ moment came in motherhood. Because RJ, my husband worked for that amazing job he has. Because of RJ, I found my purpose. I know that being home with my kids is where my heart found a home. When I had no friends (because all my friends are normal, and have kids at a regular age) I found comfort in the community of the women of the blogging, and social media world. Making connections with other moms from all walks of life, different backgrounds, all ages, is where I found my niche. Blogging and sharing my life with other teen moms is where I found sense of belonging.
It’s amazing when something is for you, it just falls into place. When I told my husband I wanted to get back into blogging, literally opportunity after opportunity rolled in. It’s like God patted me on my back, placed the right words in my heart, and whispered, “This is for you. Share your life, share your experiences, be a light where someone is in darkness. You got this boo!”.
I know this was a lot to read, but a girl got a lot to share! I’m so thankful for crossing paths with Catia, and being able to share my story with you all! Thanks for reading and remember; whether you’re a teen mom or not, everything happens for a reason. What may feel like the end of the world is potentially a blessing in disguise.
I call this, Becoming: Not another stereotyped teen mom.
Be sure to keep up with Aseky on her web site, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Ashely Solberg
Dearest beauties, my name is Ashley Solberg, and I’m the founder of She Is Blank Space. Myself and fifteen other ladies joined together to start a blog where we share about life, fashion, beauty and the things we love as moms. We believe there is strength in our stories as I learned strength in mine the hard way. Silently hiding behind my pain, I got nowhere, but once I spoke of what I had come through, I realized how much we need courage in ourselves to encourage others.
One day, I woke up.
No, not by the beeping of my alarm clock or my kids poking me in the side before sunrise, but I WOKE up.
My innermost being was so lost, confused, and just flat out blah.
Everyday…crickets.
I absolutely could not answer the question of who I was anymore. Sad, right? Yeah, I thought so too. This started a long downward before an upward one. It was a lot of questioning and addressing things I was holding onto before I could start moving forward. I dug in deep, cried a lot of tears from past hurts, anger, and whatever else I needed to face. This was hard for me, a person that seemingly had it all together, to admit defeat and that I was failing at “life.”
In general, nothing about life was bad. I had a wonderful husband, three beautiful children, a great paying salary job and by God’s grace, we’ve always had everything we needed. Something was missing though. That spark--I lacked passion and zeal. I allowed my light to be dimmed.
My bright light, little by little, diminished. The fight of infertility testing, waiting, hoping, with nothingness—dimmed. After finally achieving a long-awaited pregnancy, we found out we were having twins—my light started to come back. Five months into the pregnancy, one of our perfect, sweet girls had a portion of her amniotic sac break away and entangle her foot and cord. The day before fetal surgery, it caused her to go on from this life far too soon. I could not grieve, I had to carry her, I had to be strong for our baby still with us. I carried joy and sorrow for so long I didn’t know how to feel just one—light extinguished.
We named our daughter that was with us, Ella Joy, which means a bright light of joy. Every day I clung to her so tightly amidst my tears of thankfulness and sadness. For hours, I would just watch her breathe. Becoming a mother was everything I could have hoped for, I truly loved her with every fiber and then some. Every milestone first I was truly happy at watching her grow, but I also felt like someone was missing.
At my worst point, I guarded myself by avoiding going anywhere completely and when I did, fleeing as soon as I could to avoid a breakdown when someone asked the “are you ok?” question. I guess I knew if I allowed myself to truly process, it would hurt too bad, so I just kept going, delaying my grief even longer. The saddest part of all of it, is I knew better. I realized that battle would always be and I had a decision to make of how much I wanted to fight it.
When my daughter was 18 months old, I felt like I was ready to walk through the infertility treatments again towards another little one. Things happened much faster this time as we knew what treatment course worked. We were pregnant, and not just pregnant, but doubly pregnant. Yes, you heard that right…twins, twice. We were over the moon, but also fearful. This whole mix of emotions seemed to be a thing for us and I grew tired of it. A few months pregnant, I decided enough was enough and I was just going to be happy where we were at minus the fear part. I enjoyed every bit of the pregnancy and my little toddler sidekick by my side. The twins were born at 33 weeks, but being a NICU nurse at the time (funny how life’s seasons prepare you for what you need), I was comforted by my co-workers as I stayed by their side and stuffed them full of milk for nine days prior to going home.
Then, well…life. Along with experiencing the loss of our Emmy before, becoming an exhausted new mom again (I seriously don’t remember the babies first six months with that kind of tired), but mostly going through the motions and convincing myself I was ok where I was just trying to stay afloat.
Things were different last year when all this She Is Blank Space business started, and although I remembered those feelings, I needed to discover what God wanted for me right now instead of clinging to my past and those coulda-woulda-shoulda thoughts. I had a new perspective and needed to filter through what that all meant.
After the air finally cleared for me, it seemed like everyone I knew was fighting against things in their health, marriages, kids-- anything and everything.
And then it happened, this pivotal moment that caused everything to collide. I remembered. I remembered what it felt like to be a part of something bigger than me, I remembered the things I dreamed about as a teen that I wondered how they would happen, I remembered what it should mean to be a great friend.
Out of the normal for this fairly quiet individual, I posted a random video of encouragement for others as I was also speaking to myself. Out of my own path I was still walking, this door opened my heart for others again. Even as I pleaded for someone else to be picked, because surely, I was in no position to do this, I could not escape my butterflies. It became evident I just needed to jump into something REALLY out of my comfort zone. As someone with a supportive family and amazing circle, I knew that we were very blessed and not everyone had this. What better place to offer this to others than on a website that could reach far beyond what I could physically.
So, what to call this new venture? I was drawing a blank (see where I’m going?). How do I categorize this when I want it to reach all women in different phases of life? It was impossible to put a label on it, and one morning while changing one of the twins’ diaper, it came to me…”She Is Blank Space.” No, not the void kind of blank space, but the blank space gets filled in with something. She is…confident, a college gal, rocking at mommy’ing, learning to be whole...you get the idea. This name allows us to talk about things in the present, but also towards the future and what we are striving after as we walk the oh so many shoes we fill as women.
I knew I couldn’t do this alone as we all have a story to tell and I asked around fifteen other women to join alongside me. Some of us are married, mothers, others in college still finding out what we want in life, some love to exercise, some love fashion and so on. Can I just point out how amazing they all are? We are always better together as women supporting each other.
While you could give me all the fun parts of what we share like food and DIY all day, my hope for She Is Blank Space is for each woman to find community and encouragement from other women who have been there or are there. Although I wanted this to happen right away, we had to build our foundation and I also had to transition out of my full time job to devote the time needed. I knew it would happen, but in the meantime, remained faithful to my job as a nurse, staying up super late to prep things for the next day for posts and social media so I could use my break time to get them published. We started to bring in a steady stream of income between working with other companies and our shop, but it wasn’t quite lining up to my salary. Keep in mind, I was completely clueless about web and graphic design, traffic flow, utilizing social media for things other than posting pictures of my kids!
Around the nine month mark since our launch, it became clear we weren’t going to grow any farther until I had more time to give. With three kids five and under, being a wife, full time nurse and being involved in ministry, the only thing that could change was my job. So, I handed in my two weeks notice, which they were not happy about losing me, but understood. That leap was hard y’all; I knew the hubby and I could survive on Ramen noodles if we had to, but our kids could not. However, I had such peace knowing that this dream would not have given me without a way being made.
And boy did that happen. Money came in from a random account I had with my old job equivalent to a month's pay, one of my husband’s pay checks that never got deposited was discovered, our mortgage went down and so on. I remained baffled by this whole process, but it’s amazing to see seeds that have been planted over the course of my life blooming into something I never would have imagined for myself.
So here we are, right in the middle of this amazing venture, and it’s time. It’s time to dig in a little deeper, truly bringing realness, vulnerability, love. In a world full of perfect social media pictures, we are going to those places that are hard, but necessary for growth. As a person with a love of gardening, it’s easiest to explain it this way: before new blooms can be achieved on a tree or plant, you must trim back the branches. It seems like it doesn’t make any sense to “hurt” the plant, but it triggers it to say, “hey, I’ve got work to do, I’m stagnant, I’ve stopped growing, I’ve wilted, I need to wake up, I need to grow again.”
So how about we bloom together as we find our courage to become, ok? Life is far too short to be walked out without purpose or in dry, empty places. For you, your friends, your family-let’s jump into our dreams together and allow ourselves to be willing to hear and act upon the tugs of our hearts.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Angela Lally
Tonight we are so happy to be featuring Angela Lally. She shares a wonderful, uplifting word. I know her trust in the Lord will inspire you!
What was your first job?
My first job after college (well, after working at a summer camp!) was in Communications and Public Relations.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
What I'm doing now! Haha But really, ever since I discovered I had a natural knack for photography in high school, I dreamed of somehow doing it full time, but I always thought that it wasn't possible for me to actually make a living doing just photography. Thankfully, the Lord had bigger plans for this talent He's given me and lined up numerous circumstances and opportunities to lead me to where I am today: Two years of running my photography business full time!
How did it feel getting started?
A bit nerve-wracking, freeing, and exciting, all at once! I knew this was where the Lord was leading me, so I was comfortable with the "uncomfortableness" of it and from the beginning trusted my business to Him. Ultimately, I know that despite any efforts I make on my own, any accomplishments, all the hours put into it, it is all His. He is the one that gives and provides, and I am so thankful that He's continued to do so in a way that allows me the gift of doing what I love as a career.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started.
One of the biggest obstacles I faced after figuring out that I one day wanted to quit my full time Communications job to run my business full time was being in between both of those things: Knowing that at the time I needed that job and trying to be present and fully there after knowing that it wasn't what I wanted to do forever.
I did learn through that process that when the Lord is ready for you to move on, he makes it CLEAR.
My initial plans were to go full time into photography in two years... two months later, that turned into me planning on leaving at the end of that year, which then turned into me leaving on a Friday and giving my two weeks notice on Monday. Looking back, I can recognize that a lot of that was Him getting me to the point of trusting him FULLY with providing and not depending on my savings account as a safety net. Since making the transition to full time, He has grown my business and given me favor in ways that I never would have imagined and faster than I could have hoped.
My verse for my business from day one has been Psalm 16:5: "The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot." It reminds me to trust the Lord's provision and to be satisfied with whatever He gives, however he choses to (or not to) give it.
What keeps you motivated?
I absolutely LOVE the idea of getting to capture people's genuine personalities and relationships in a photographs!! Apart from knowing the Lord, people and the relationships we have with them are the most important thing in the world. To be able to capture that in a tangible photograph is such a gift. Photographs can communicate so much more that we can say with our words and can open eyes to see things that may have otherwise been missed. I've seen senior girls recognizing that they ARE pretty for the first time after seeing an image on the back of my camera. I've captured cherished moments for clients with family members that are no longer here. I get to witness and document marriages of couples who have said the MOST important thing on their wedding day is that God is glorified. And as long as the Lord wills, I will keep capturing as many of these moments and people that I can.
Which living person do you most admire?
My mom - 100%. Throughout all of the crazy circumstances she has been through in her life, she has remained steadfast in trusting the Lord and having faith in Him to do what He has said He will and to be who He has promised He is. I don't know anyone else who has a stronger faith than she does.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I would LOVE to be able to play the piano!! I know a little bit from friends teaching me / YouTube videos here and there, but I don't actually own one... so I guess I need to fix that first! Perfect pitch would be a fun one too!
What is your most marked characteristic?
Apart from photography, I think my friends and family would say my relationship with the Lord. Or that I am friendly and "sweet." :)
What is your motto?
The past four years have been some hard ones. There have been a lot of transitions, uncertainties and circumstances that I wasn't expecting, and Lord has kept bringing me back to the first few verses of Psalm 37:
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act... Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him..."
These verses have been a "home base" for me the past few years and have helped ground me and remind me where to stay focused when I was uncertain of everything else.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Owning and running my own business for two years full time, for sure! Another one would be growing to a point where I could hire my mom to work with me.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
Only the Lord. When I get overwhelmed, stressed or anxious, it's most likely because I'm not fully trusting Him, I'm placing more value on things that ultimately aren't as important as what He has placed in front of me to care for, or for whatever reason I'm struggling with trusting where He's leading when I can't see the next step. Spending time with Him and in the Word keep me grounded.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Trust the Lord's hand at work in your life and HIS timing. Also, be faithful where He has you with what He has placed in front of you to care for. Don't try to rush ahead or just wish away the hard seasons... those are often the ones I have learned the most about His character in. It sounds cliche, but keep the main thing (Him) the main thing, and keep trusting Him with the rest -- even if it's over and over every day. He's patient with us, His plans are greater, and He will never fail.
Angela's words and trust in God are inspirational and frankly - peaceful. Her words remind me that God's got it under control and we just have to trust.
She is seriously beyond delightful and I know you'll want to follow her journey!
You can find Angela here on her web site, Angela Lally Photography and on Facebook and Instagram.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Dala Thomas McDevitt
“If you can’t tolerate critics, don’t do anything new or interesting” –Jeff Bezos.
I had done everything I was supposed to. Graduated high school with honors and got into the University of Texas at Austin. Responsibly worked throughout college and maintained a 3.8 GPA. Graduated in 4 years and got a job as a Labor & Delivery Nurse. Took out a lease on a Honda Civic, and began paying off the impressive student loan debt I had accrued in my pursuit of happiness. I hated Mondays and drank on Fridays, just like everyone else.
My life was cookie-cutter perfect on the outside, but inside there was an ever-present emotion of discontent and disconnect with “who” I was. Recently out of a bad relationship and living alone for the first time in my life, there was never a better time for a fresh start. With little idea about what was going to make me happier, I decided to eat healthier and workout, as these were seemingly the societal go-to’s to “feel better”. It’s always the small things that end up being the bravest and biggest steps to self-discovery.
When I cut out the crap food, I wasn’t so tired all the time. When I cut out the alcohol, I wasn’t so hungover each morning. When I started working out, it sparked a relationship with my body that wasn’t rooted in shame and self-consciousness. As my body healed, my mind was revitalized and suddenly filled with curiosity and creativity. Now willingly rising with the sun each morning, I increased my productive time by 30% and had to seek out new hobbies. Because health had been the catalyst to this awakening, I dove deeper into the subject.
Knowledge became my mentor, my body my subject, experimentation my best friend, and, interestingly, Instagram my medium of expression. I voraciously explored audiobooks, documentaries, articles, blogs, YouTube videos, anything that helped me learn more about the mind-body connection and how to enhance it. I shared my experiences through Instagram, becoming increasingly open and public about my journey, my trails, and my errors.
My acquisition of knowledge slowly engulfed previously unreachable beliefs of self-worth, self-love, mindfulness, meditation, revolutionary ideas of sexuality, and the overwhelming realization that love is most powerful of all.
I was happier, healthier, more confident, and more positive than I had ever been in my life, so you can imagine my surprise when I began receiving more negativity from others than ever before.
I was told that my new comfortability with my body was slutty, that my fervor for health was an eating disorder, that my positive rhetoric was a guised cry for help, that my aversion to alcohol and junk food was seeded in obsessive vanity, that my new lotus tattoo was impulsive and self-destructive, and my new hair cut my Britney Spears meltdown moment. It was remarkable to see how many were threatened by my campaign to like myself.
How am I supposed to keep doing what is making me happy if my loved ones are telling me I’m in desperate need of help? Don’t they know me better than anyone? Shouldn’t I listen to them? Aren’t they just trying to help me?? The alienation I felt was profound.
As I submitted to the dark loneliness I perceived to be inevitable, I was shocked to find the loneliness was more of welcoming adventure. I was content to be alone because I, for the first time, enjoyed the company. I was okay exploring my next steps without the consultations and opinions of others because I didn’t feel I needed their approval anymore.
What a revelation! My name is Dala Thomas: I like myself, I trust myself, and I have within me the courage to become the very best and most loving woman I can be.
I used social media and devoted myself to disseminating ideas of positive body image and self-love, to the creation of meal plans and workout programs to guide others in improving health, and to online coaching so that perhaps I could help other alienated women feel safe and supported.
I began to live differently, to dress differently, to carry myself differently and to speak of myself differently as the joy I felt impregnated all facets of my life. I was bursting with affection and inspiration, and knew that I was never hurting anyone else despite what problems some took up with my new lifestyle.
I had finally learned how to share my light with the world, and it was this light that found Sean and brought him to me.
Strangers on social media became my closest allies. They did not ever know the “before” Dala, only the one they saw in front of them and therefore had no inherent aversion to my transformation. The only difference between these humans and the ones originally in my life was that they did not have to endure or understand change.
As a year came and went, I saw friends and family re-enter my life when the danger they purported disintegrated to a faint illusion. I thought accepting them again after so long would be difficult, but there was now so much peace in my life that forgiveness was second nature.
The most challenging part of my journey was finding the courage to become something other than what my closest friends and family already knew me as. People will warn you not to embark on a new journey, but only because they cannot yet see your destination, and fear is the most powerful motivator of all. Your path may go against the grain of your peers, but that not does mean it is wrong. The road to self-discovery may at times be lonely, but it is better to know yourself than to know a hundred others. Act in love, and you will never be lost.
This self-realized, joyful, life-giving women is what I had to find the courage to become. The “what” is not important here; we all can and should become thousands of different things. Courage itself is the vital ingredient, giving life to your dreams and a blind eye to doubt. Muster the courage to get to know yourself, and you will find your “what”. Then share it with the world and realize the true potential of how beautiful you can be.
Dala is partnering with Kendra Scott on September 6th. Kendra Scott is giving back %20 of proceeds to Hospitals! I will be there, Dala will be there and so will other amazing women. We'd love to see you there!
Kendra Scott - September 6th - 6-8pm - South Congress Location - Austin, Texas
If you'd like to keep up with Dala, and why wouldn't you? She is seriously so uplifting and empowering - find her on Instagram or on her web site. Side note - I am a student of her Booty Program - and IT WORKS! (Not sponsored - just genuinely enthusiastic) :)
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Debra Giunta
The Courage to Become Patient
Earlier this spring I couldn’t get out of bed. I opened my eyes and squinted into a sunny, open window. I breathed into a summer breeze I’d spent a cold, grey, stagnant, Chicago winter craving. For a moment I was struck with the memories of spending evenings not so long ago positioning my body under a pile of blankets until I’d begin to sweat, close my eyes, and breathe deeply, imagining summer heat on my face and the smell of blooming flowers. But on this day, I pushed my body closer to the bottom edge of the bed, covered my face in blankets and shut out the breeze I’d spent what felt like a lifetime waiting for.
There was no tragedy. No dark mourning crippling me. “Go!” I could hear my best self trying, “Be outside with no coat on! Listen to pop music with the windows down!” Instead I curled myself smaller and smaller until my fetal position self was scrunched as far as possible from the top of sheets, my entryway into the rest of whatever my day would bring. I spent 40 more minutes facing off with my iPhone - silencing a snoozed alarm and shoving it further beneath the pillows as morning emails and text messages vibrated.
“Business ladies don’t do this,” I thought. They push through. Or rather, they don’t end up here. They’re thoughtful and strategic. They plan and they wait. But me, I’m messy. Most often it feels my ideas, motivation, strategy, and rationale live tangled up in a pile. I’m always subconsciously applying for a new job at my own company, Design Dance. I started a business partly because I wanted freedom to live autonomously, to explore new ideas, job titles, versions of myself. Entrepreneurship allows me to stretch every part of me as far as it will go, constantly striving for the most expandable version of myself.
And when that’s your goal, it’s sometimes hard to determine the intersection of exploration, growth, expectations, and capacity. I am not, nor have I ever been, a woman of boundaries.
My eyes are still closed and I begin to think about the last 9 months of my business. We’ve traveled, we’ve built things, we’ve collaborated. We’ve cried, and shared and felt vulnerable with each other. Today is not particularly special, but for whatever reason it is the day I’ve realized that it’s all been too much.
In 9 months, along with my team, I’ve prepared and presented a TEDx talk, hired two staff members, executed a multi-city tour, worked to co-launch a non-profit side project, attempted to launch a storytelling series, built the start of an online product, launched a Kickstarter campaign, an event series, a personal blog, and a podcast.
In a nearly comical display of a lack of boundaries, I even volunteered my time to host someone else’s event series in my city. Each project, an expression of my very real excitement - a version of myself stretching and learning. How did it lead here - the place where getting out of bed feels impossible?
With some of our team and some of the students we teach through Design Dance.
On my best days, one could call my relationship to work “ambitious” or “energetic.” Often in retrospect, it feels “frenetic” or “irrational”. Because when ambitious ideas intersect with tighter than realistic deadlines, the excitement that used to fill them begins to drain.
On days like today, when the world seems to be asking for updates on my many started projects, I know that I’ve fallen once again into the trap of approaching projects at the speed of an invisible race I’m running with the rest of the world. A race where the finish line keeps extending at the rate of new ideas I’d like to explore until the only way you can feel about anything is “behind.”
The best thing about being your own boss is that there is no one to tell you what to work on. The terrifying thing about being your own boss is that there is no one to tell you what to work on. The amount you’re able to accomplish feels like it’s only limited to the amount of ideas you’re willing to execute. And so quickly the weight of the commitments you’ve built for yourself creeps up on you and seemingly overnight, the top of the sheets becomes an entryway into a to-do-list-prison you’ve built for yourself.
I arrived to work that day at 10am with the help of my boyfriend, my cat, and a cup of very strong homemade coffee. I struggled to normalize myself through meetings with my staff, grappling with the strong dissonance between my fetal position bed self and my business owner self. At lunch I sat at my desk and opened a word document.
What do you need? I wrote at the top.
Inside, I knew what I needed to write but it took me 20 whole minutes to write it.
I need to stop, I finally wrote.
I didn’t need to stop running a business or having ideas or being energetic, but doing everything at once was killing me.
When I attempt to come to terms with why I live in this cycle, and why it feels like I always have it’s the same reason I struggle to save money, why I always need to eat my snacks in the car on the way home from the grocery store, or why I can’t watch a long movie. I’m impatient. The concept of patience is a difficult one for me.
At it’s core, it asks that I feel excited about a vision, but then wait indefinitely to see it come to life. It asks that I hold onto something valuable, wait, enjoy the process. In some ways, patience asks that I risk the things I hold most dear to me; What if I lose the magic of an early stage idea? What if the excitement my teammates have fades over time? What if after a while, I realize this idea is no good and then I’ll have wasted time? What if it turns out I’m wrong?
Acting quickly allows me to leverage my excitement, but my speed also means that my surroundings blur together and I lose the value of learning from the process, the joy of the execution itself, and the ability to create work I’m truly proud of.
It’s been a few months since I’ve struggled to get out of bed. And from the outside I probably appear exactly the same, but I know that I’m practicing something new. For the first time, I’m answering questions with “not right now” or “I’m working on it” or “I’ve decided to take a break from that.” And while allowing myself to let go of the hold I once had on my ideas is scary, it’s also one of the most empowering experiences I’ve ever had. Having patience to get to the finish line means you leave space to connect with who and what you want right now. It means you’re enough because you’re “doing work you’re proud of,” not because you’re “doing so much”.
Patience brings you back to the day to day reason you’re working at all.
Somewhere in the pile of things you planned to do is the reason you started in the first place.
This piece from Debra hit home for me, BIG TIME!
For more gems and to keep up with Debra and her amazing work - check her out on her web site and on Instagram.
To bring Debra Giunta to your school or program - contact her here. You'll be so glad you did!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Tory DeOrian
Tell us a little bit about yourself
My name is Tory and I'm a professional children's and commercial illustrator! I work from home which means I snack a lot and go to bed really late. I could not be more grateful for my juicy creative life and I absolutely want to inspire others to reach their fullest creative potential. Some of my clients include Snapchat, Taco Bell, San Francisco Pride and Starbucks. I'm also lucky to be represented by the lovely Kelly Sonnack of Andrea Brown Literary Agency, for my picture books which are underway!
After college I started a group for young women, a creative/happiness club in which we all dedicated ourselves to a personal creative project, worked on bad habits, and essentially supported each other's creative and personal enrichment. It was revitalizing, and I dream of doing it on a much larger scale someday.
Aside from Illustration and Graphic Design, my fun jobs in the past have included: working as an intern for Disney, spending several years as a glittery children's entertainer (faerie/princess/mermaid) for Happily Ever Laughter Parties, and putting blush on people for two years as a Studio Makeup Artist for Smashbox Cosmetics. After getting my degree in Graphic Design, I went to makeup school in Portland, then two years later I moved to SoCal to earn my certificate in Children's Illustration at UC San Diego. I love school.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I've got two for you!
#1- Makeup Artistry. A very intimidating art form, right?! For some reason I was called to it toward the end of my senior year in college so I went to Portland for a 3 month makeup program. After earning my Makeup Certification I was able to do makeup alongside freelance Graphic Design + Illustration and it ended up being a wonderful job where I met all different types of amazing women. I'm so glad I faced my fear...My first day of makeup school I hardly knew what blush was even for.
Makeup ended up being an excellent career option, but Illustration was always my calling. So:
#2- Illustration...Except, Illustration never made me feel afraid! It was something I would do to relax, calm down, enjoy myself, and impress my parents with. Learning the Adobe programs was a SCARY thought at first but you catch on quick and it's not the kind of struggle you anticipate. (DO NOT let that stop you from being a digital artist. Eventually it's like playing a creative video game where the controls are second nature.) While growing up, making art was the ultimate escape. From drawing during 6th grade math lectures, to painting late into the night in high school.
How did it feel getting started?
Making the decision to major in Art in college is when it all really started. I was originally a Psych major (because I wanted to help people) but changed my major to Graphic Design immediately after learning what Graphic Design was. Then I'd say my career really started when I got hired to illustrate for Taco Bell at VIDCON 2016. I had to travel for the opportunity but I was so grateful and excited that I would have done the job for free. Not once has it ever been about the money.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started Illustrating.
The obstacles I faced starting out were mostly:
1) Quality. Frustration with the quality of my artwork. I would think "Why can't I get my art to look like I want it to? I have a vision in my head but the end result is not as good." The answer is practice, detail, and refining your technique.
2) Time. Working a day job is definitely an obstacle. But I would illustrate after I got home from work, spend 12 hours at my desk on my days off, assign myself new things every week. You have to relentlessly participate in the manifestation of your own blessings, as Elizabeth Gilbert says.
What motivates you to Illustrate?
You know that little mini happy bubbling feeling inside when something clicks? (Same when a comedian makes an entire audience laugh, or a pro basketball player makes their shot.) I love that feeling of a project coming together. It's also that I have so many tons of ideas, I get depressed and mentally agitated when I'm not working on them.
Making my clients happy is also a huge motivation. I'll spend much longer than I need to on a project in order to make sure it matches their vision.
Which living person do you most admire?
My dad. He was a police officer for 33 years until he safely retired, thank goodness. He's an artist too, and his questions about my dream to become a professional artist were never laced with doubt. He encourages me to grow and take every opportunity that presents itself. "Leave no stone unturned." He says.
Which talent would you most like to have?
If I could sing I would be on stage just like Katy Perry dressed like a cupcake wearing glittery makeup. It's hard to find an excuse to do that on stage as an illustrator!
What is your most marked characteristic?
I'm super tall so, that! But as an artist, it's my wildly colorful style that people somehow always recognize.
What is your motto?
Always have something to look forward to.
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Since I'm 25 years old, having done projects for several big clients AND signing an agent all within the same year is something I feel grateful for and proud of. I didn't expect so many of my dreams to come true all at once but I guess since I literally illustrate sometimes for 14 hours a day and research opportunities obsessively that's the result. Being prolific is essential to success.
What keeps you going when you feel like you are knee deep in mud?
During Oprah's Life You Want Tour, I remember Iyanla Vanzant getting on stage in all her vigor asking "Haven't you always been there for yourself??" I try to keep in mind that being stuck is all a part of the process; you've been stuck before and you'll be stuck again. As my dad says 'Don't force it!' Actually, just last night I was struggling with a pattern illustration, I woke up today and finished it by 1pm! Being that I illustrate anywhere from 8-14 hours a day, I get stuck a lot but I also get through it a lot!
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
I could talk your ear off with advice! As a seeker of guidance and knowledge at every turn, I'm more than happy to pass along what I know.
A general piece of advice which I learned as an intern for Disney in regards to being prolific:
Don't just make one piece of art, make 10. (Numbers 9 and 10 will probably end up being your best and you'll have more work to choose from.) Don't just come up with two or three ideas, come up with 20 or 30. (This way your ideas are more unique to you.) Don't just set two goals for the day, set five. (Then when you achieve almost all if not all of them, it's more than you would just having set two.) This, I've found, has been my secret to success.
Let me break it down into categories:
If you're looking into freelance graphic-design/illustration/photography:
Make the kind of work you want to be hired to do. If you're looking at a magazine ad or illustration on an app and you think "Hey! I bet I could do that! How can I get hired to do that??" Research, research, research the opportunities out there. Obsessively build your portfolio until it's really freaking good. Keep a list of contacts of art directors and inquire about opportunities when you're ready. (For example, when I've built enough of an editorial/magazine illustration portfolio, only then can I begin to reach out to those people.) Continue to build your knowledge base through taking classes (Good online classes I recommend: Lynda.com and skillshare.com. Skillshare is the more fun and quirky of the two, Lynda offers sophisticated technical knowledge.) Once you begin to get clients, you muse never miss a deadline. I once read this advice: "Be super honest with your clients and make them happy." This is something I live by as a freelancer.
If you're looking into picture book writing and/or illustration:
There are several good schooling programs out there. I chose the UC San Diego Extension program for Picture Book Illustration, which took me a year to complete and ended up being absolutely amazing! You MUSTjoin the SCBWI and attend conferences and meetings, read the monthly SCBWI magazine/bulletin that gets mailed to you. You also must be actively working on your writing and/or illustrating several times a week if not every day when you get home from work. Make it your new obsession. Learn about different publishers and figure out what you'll need in your portfolio to be ready to query agents. Design promotional mailers you can mail to art directors. Also, join twitter because the #kidlit world essentially lives there!
Also, make a list of assignments for yourself. Research events, classes, and workshops that you can take in your free time.
If you're looking into makeup artistry:
The beauty industry is everywhere, so if you learn makeup or skincare you're likely to be able to find a job anywhere you move to. That was appealing to me. Once you learn the steps of doing makeup and understand the different types of skin (comes with experience) you're likely to get the hang of it. I like to do things step-by-step and makeup artistry ended up being exactly that! I suggest finding a makeup artistry program or taking personal makeup lessons. All of the different prestige brands (Smashbox Cosmetics, Urban Decay, IT Cosmetics- to name a few) hire freelancers to travel locally and do makeup! Shoot for those positions starting out. They pay better than makeup retail positions and you get to move around! There's also wedding makeup, working at a cosmetic counter, film and television, etc.
I was blessed to have known Tory. To enjoy her the beautiful work she did while she was on this earth, visit:
Tory on her web site and on Instagram for added joy!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Allison Mack
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~ Maya Angelou
I love this quote. I live my life by this quote. When the opportunity to write about the “Courage to Become” fell into my lap my first thought was, gosh I haven’t really “become” anything. I’m a pretty ordinary person. I’m just me. I started to dig deep and really take a hard look back on my past, my history, my childhood, my parents, and what defines me, what doesn’t define me, but overall, what makes me… me.
I really feel pretty lucky that I’ve become a lot of amazing things - I’ve become a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friend to countless, but I’ve also had the blessing of becoming a business owner of an empowering community of women called, Austin Moms Blog and sometimes also known as my 4th child.
The condensed version of me is that I grew up in Austin, TX, lived in the same house my entire life and attended Westwood High School where my mother was {and still is} a teacher. My parents divorced when I was 2 years old and my sister and I are almost 10 years apart {I’m the baby} so in essence I grew up slightly like the only child…or so I’ve been told.
For as long as I can remember, I was always outgoing, tenacious, and loved being around people… a true extrovert. I was a cheerleader, trained in English Equestrian for several years, joined the FFA where I raised a lamb {we never made it to the slaughter trailer — my heart just couldn’t do it}, started competing in beauty pageants my Freshman year in high school, graduated from the University of Texas in Austin, and ultimately met my best friend, Wesley, who I would later marry and have 3 beautiful children with. Whew… that’s me in a outer surface nut shell and the longest sentence EVER.
My years in pageantry really set me up big time for what I’m doing in life now — I mean I can strut in a pair of heels while holding a crying baby on my hip, holding another’s hand, leading another with my knee, and still have room to throw in a hair flip all while my lips are glossed and my eyeliner is winged. That’s talent right there, people. In all seriousness though, pageantry really did help prepare me for being a business owner as well as a mom. I definitely don’t regret my pageant days.
Throughout my competition years I endured countless hours of training to make sure I was the best version of me. I know it sounds so cliche, but I really do believe that pageants bring out the best of who YOU were meant to be. I spent the most amount of time training for interview and public speaking. I also spent time learning how to walk in heels, how to put on false eyelashes, how to get my hair closer to God {it’s called a teasing comb}, and more, but my weakest area was always speaking in public.
When I look back at all of that training I kind of smile. It seemed like nonsense once my pageant days were over, but I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that training now that I’m older. As the owner of Austin Moms Blog, I make some sort of media appearance at least twice a month. Whether I’m on the news, speaking to a University of Texas advertising class, or connecting with other moms at an event, I’m now extremely comfortable speaking in public. I still get nervous, but I now know that at least I won’t suck when I do have to do it.
Austin Moms Blog is an opportunity that truly fell into my lap. It wasn’t something I was looking for, but I really feel like it was looking for me. In fact, my dream in life was to be a mom. Nothing more, nothing less, “just” a mom. Life had bigger plans for me. My husband had bigger plans for me. A friend had bigger plans for me. My children had bigger plans for me. And in the summer of 2011, after being a mom for just 1 very long year, a friend and I decided to launch Austin Moms Blog. It would be our hobby, a place where we could talk about all things mommy, a resource of sorts for other moms in the Austin community, a judgment free zone, and safe place. Now I juggle being “just” that mom as well as managing a business that requires at least {if not more} 30-40 hours of true work per week. 6 years later, I’m reminded that when you’re doing something you are passionate about that it can often lead to something pretty special.
Starting Austin Moms Blog made perfect sense because honestly, there was zero pressure and we were moms starting a moms blog. I mean duh. The way we looked at it was this was truly just for fun! I believe that’s what has made AMB so successful - we started from a really organic and authentic place in our lives. Moms just being moms. Eventually other moms kind of started to like us, which was awesome!
Austin Moms Blog Executive Team
When we first launched Austin Moms Blog we knew that there were similar resources out there for parents so we made every effort to try to be different. In the very beginning when AMB was just a newborn, we really didn’t have a lot of direction or guidance so it was just us trying to navigate as we went along. It wasn’t until we started bringing on a team of writers that AMB’s legs really grew and we were able to set ourselves apart from the rest as not just a resource, not just event focused, not just community driven, not just a contributing team, not just a one mom perspective, but ALL of that wrapped up under one umbrella. Diversity in our team is our #1 goal, because we recognize that all moms are different with different backgrounds, parenting styles, and that we are all at different stages of motherhood. Our team is 50 strong and we try really hard to embody all of those differences so we can touch all moms not just the ones that are like us.
Austin Moms Blog Contributing Team
I started this journey with a Maya Angelou quote and it’s literally something I say {condensed version, of course}, whenever I’m faced with adversity or in times that simply put, aren’t going my way. When you focus on the good, it’s hard to be saddened by the bad. Austin Moms Blog is good. I’m reminded of that daily by our current team, our past contributing writers, and even by our readers. We are ALL good good mamas no matter what our path to motherhood was, regardless of how many children we have, and despite our differences. That’s why I’m so proud to have become the behind the scenes voice of such a powerful platform as Austin Moms Blog.
A Few Fun Little Facts::
• Which living person do you most admire? This is tough. There are at least 2 handfuls of people that I truly admire so it wouldn’t be fair to call out only one. I will say that characteristics I admire most in people are “hard-working, driven, strong sense of humor, well-spoken, kind, dedicated, intelligent, faithful, successful {at something…anything!}, not afraid to show raw emotion, and open-mindedness”.
• Which talent would you most like to have? I wish so much that I knew how to play the piano. I know I know… it’s not too late to start, BUT it’s just not something I have the patience to learn this late in life. It’s one of those talents I wish I could just snap my fingers and magically have.
• What is your most marked characteristic? My hair.
• What are some things you are proud to have accomplished? I’m incredibly proud that I’m a UT graduate…it really wasn’t in the cards for me to go to an accredited university, but that tenaciousness came out in full force and I was determined to get ‘er done.
• What are some hopes you have for your future? I think my biggest hope is to watch my children grow into their own little people, which means I get to grow old {YAY!}. And I mean that…I’ll be ridiculously lucky if I get the chance to be full of wrinkles, gray hair, and live the journey my children and my husband take me on. If AMB went away tomorrow, I’d still be incredibly fulfilled.
• What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on? Do it {whatever “it” is} because you love it and it’s a passion, not because you need it or are trying to profit. If you’re truly doing what you love, it’s not really work.
Essay by: Allison Mack
To keep up with Allison's adventures be sure to follow along!
Austin Moms Blog // Facebook // Instagram
Waco Moms Blog // Facebook // Instagram
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Carrie Maddux
Becoming A Mom
I always wanted to be a mom. I have often said that I felt my calling in life was to be a mom. I did not know how else to explain it.
In 2012, we welcomed our first baby girl. Although words couldn't describe my happiness, I was also plagued with postpartum blues, exhaustion, and adjusting to our new normal. Seriously, where are the parenting classes that teach you real life scenarios?
Once I settled into my new role as a stay at home mom, I realized it can be a bit isolating. There I was with everything I could possibly want. It was perfect on paper. Stay at home mom, loving husband, a healthy & beautiful newborn, but I felt alone on most days. So, I began to search for ways to get involved and have adult interaction.
Becoming an Austin Moms Blog Contributor
I quickly became a huge fan of Austin Moms Blog and followed their blogs from day one. I admired those women for being raw and sharing their real life mom moments. I noticed an open contributor call on Facebook one day and decided to apply for it. I always found writing to be very cathartic and thought this would be the perfect opportunity to do something for myself. Fortunately, they invited me to be a contributor and I had no clue how it would impact my life. Writing gave me a purpose and I quickly gained a new “village” of women to call my friends.We welcomed our second baby girl in 2014 and I did not experience any of the postpartum blues or isolation like I did the first time. Having a purpose and a village truly makes a difference!
Becoming My Stronger Self
In early 2016, my husband went through a transition with his job and it pushed us close to rock bottom. I can say with every ounce of my being that our love for one another is unbreakable after going through that obstacle together. We both admitted that going through a tough transition and losing your main source of income can create a lot of stress on a marriage and your family unit. Money doesn’t make you happy, but it definitely makes life easier. We learned to lean on each other and our faith.
Even when times get tough, you still have to show up and be a parent. You still have to pretend like everything is okay because my two and four year old need me. Life lessons have a way of knocking you to your knees and allowing you to stand up stronger than ever before. I did not let many people know about our situation. I am the usual smile and say everything is good type person; however, I remained sane thanks to my village.
See the common theme here?
My friends will tell you that I kept begging for a sign. I needed God to plant that sign in my front yard in big bold letters. “Let Go and Let God” was my motto. In June 2016, we relocated to Oklahoma for a job opportunity. I cried many nights about losing my village and starting over again. It wasn't just my husband and myself starting over. We now had two young girls that were going through this with us, however; it was the “sign” and fresh start we prayed over. We survived a big move with two toddlers and settled into our new home.
Like I mentioned above, I always said my calling had something to do with being a mom, but I did not know why. I began searching for a local blog similar to Austin Moms Blog, but could not find anything.
I so desperately wanted to find a resource in our new city, but kept coming up short. That is when I decided to purchase and start Tulsa Moms Blog. I have been known to be impulsive at times, but this was taking a huge leap out of my comfort zone. Writing behind a computer is one thing, but owning my OWN business? It was exhilarating and nerve racking at the same time.
Starting Tulsa Moms Blog allowed me to connect moms on and offline in our community and provide a positive resource for moms in all stages of life. I was getting ready to launch the blog and we got some bad news about my husband’s new job. Yes, we relocated our entire family for this job. I’ll spare you all of the details, but Tulsa turned into one big disaster. We lost our main source of income AGAIN, we made an investment into my new venture, and barely moved into our new home. We decided we had nothing to lose at this point and my husband applied for his dream job in Waco, TX.
Waco has always been near and dear to our hearts, so it wasn’t as spontaneous as it might come across. After a month, we decided to write it off and focus our attention to more local jobs. Then, on a random Thursday afternoon he got the call. They wanted him to come in and apply for the position. We finally had a glimmer of hope and words cannot express our happiness when they hired him!
I put Tulsa Moms Blog on hold and we relocated to Waco last month.
Since moving to Waco, God has clearly planted all of the signs here. That large sign in big bold letter that I was praying for is planted here. I have never been tested this much to rely on the cliche phrase “God will always provide”, but he does indeed.
Mamas let me tell you, having your spouse or partner truly HAPPY with his career is life changing in itself.
While Tulsa Moms Blog did not ever come to fruition, be on the lookout for Waco Moms Blog.
I am proud to be a part of City Moms Blog Network and passionate about connecting local moms together.
At the end of the day, you cannot teach adaptability and my girls showed me tremendous grace this past year. They pushed me to be a stronger version of myself and accept challenges head on. I look back on my younger self who once felt like an isolated new mom and cannot help but laugh. Although that is how I felt at the time, I had no idea the wild ride I would be on years later. Everything truly happens for a reason.
Cheers to 2017!
Essay by: Carrie Maddux
You can connect with Carrie on Instagram , Facebook and at Waco Moms Blog
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Sarah Rioux
The Courage to Overcome Fear and Grow Mentally, Spiritually, Professionally
Ciao! My name is Sarah Rioux and I am the Owner, CEO and Co-Founder of Ladybird Provisions, and we make Coffee Bombs. I am the daughter of an Italian immigrant who has shown me what it looks like to be brave, dedicated and, perhaps most importantly, to chase after a dream no matter how hard it seems.
Coffee Bombs are a pre-made Butter Coffee supplement made up of Organic Virgin Coconut Oil, Grass-fed Butter, Collagen Protein and other medicinal spices that help different aspects of the body and mind. Each ingredient is meticulously chosen and each of the five flavors are intentionally crafted to stimulate the mind and jump-start the metabolism. We are still a new company (only five months in) but the overwhelming response to our product has been amazing so far.
The Beginning
I moved to Austin in August of 2015 to marry the man of my dreams, Jon, who I fatefully met over five years ago. I am a person who strives on security so quitting a safe job that I loved to move to a new city, get married and essentially start over was challenging for me in many ways. I am a Registered and Licensed Dietitian and recently went back to school for a Master’s Degree in Business. I had spent the last nine years working in Child Nutrition; as the Dietitian for Pasadena ISD in the Houston area and the Assistant Director of Child Nutrition for Fort Worth ISD. My safe career was rewarding in many ways, but there was always a part of me that didn’t feel fully content. I worked hard and I cared about what I did. I felt content and- here is that word again- safe.
I knew that moving to Austin would challenge me and force me to take the time to reflect on how I wanted to “dance” into this new phase of life, and explore what I really wanted to do professionally. My career was something that I had no idea how badly I wanted to change until presented with the opportunity…
How did it feel getting started?
Scary! It’s so funny to reflect back on but when Jon and I first met, I told him about this dream I had to open a healthy bakery. He loved the idea and constantly pushed me to pursue that dream. He used to tell me “Sarah, you work so hard for other people. If you worked half as hard for your self you’d be amazingly successful”. I loved his encouragement and the fact that he wanted to push me to be and do more than I thought I could, but I was scared. I was scared to leave my safe job that I was good at and comfortable doing to start something that was just a dream and so…unsafe.
Fast forward (or rewind) to August 2015 when I moved to Austin. I was forced into a naturally uncomfortable position (personally) of living in a new city and being unemployed. Jon was quietly but persistently whispering in my ear, telling me that it was the perfect time for me to start my own business, but I still wasn’t mentally or emotionally prepared to walk into the “unsafe zone”. So, I naturally spent my time looking online and applying to jobs. I wanted to find another safe job that would make me feel content. I had a plan for my life but it seemed that my life had another plan for me. Door after door was closed on me which tested my faith and mental strength over the course of a few months. I didn’t understand why this was happening to me at the time but now, of course, I do.
After those few months of rejection, I took a part-time job as the Dietitian for People’s RX, a local wellness pharmacy in Austin. I did not like the job (in fact I was miserable there!) but as fate would have it, it is where I met Nicole, my current business partner and the other Co-Founder of Ladybird Provisions. She is a drugless practitioner (among other things) who started advising her clients years ago to add grass-fed butter and coconut oil to their morning cup of coffee. She put these fat bombs in a mold so it was easy to add to hot coffee and forget about it. I did my own research on the Butter Coffee phenomenon and was overwhelmed with its multitude of health benefits but underwhelmed with the process of making it. People NEED something fast, easy and healthy in the morning that they don’t have to think about, right? I went to bed that night thinking about this and couldn’t sleep. I got my first “Ah Ha” moment that night and this fire inside me that said “THIS could be a business and it is something that I think I can do”! I couldn’t wait for the morning to tell Jon what I was thinking and that I wanted to start a business making Coffee Bombs- the first pre-made Butter Coffee additive (with protein) on the market. I went to Nicole and told her that I thought we could make a business out of this idea and she was on board! Together, we started playing with recipes, analyzing the nutritional panel and sourcing ingredients accordingly. The more we practiced and perfected the recipes, the more serious and excited I became. I quit working at People’s and decided to dedicate all of my time to Ladybird. Best. Decision. Ever.
Obstacles
Oh man! There were so many. I had finally found something that I was passionate and excited about and felt as though it was just meant to be. But, having a great idea and creating a business were two entirely different things so I had a lot to figure out. I’ve never been in the Consumer Packaged Goods (CPG) world before so I had to learn everything on the fly. Like how to form a company, name it, trademark it, research commercial kitchen space, health permits, cost analysis, ingredient sourcing, branding, packaging, logos, insurance, marketing, social media, finances, getting into stores (that was/is a BIG one) and the list goes on, and on, and on…. As daunting as all of this was, I was still having fun and enjoying the work I was doing and how much I was learning. And, for the first time in my professional career, the amount of work I put into Ladybird directly amounted to the productivity of the business. Figuring out how to grow is the next step. One with a whole new set of challenges to figure out and overcome. :)
What motivates you?
Fear. In all of this, I have realized that fear is a huge motivator for me. I want to show Fear that I can overcome it and that it won’t keep me down. Fear is such an inhibitor and stops so many talented, motivated people from reaching for their dreams (me included). I’ve overcome some of my fear-based obstacles but many are still there and surly more are still to come. Fear is a constant challenge to overcome but certainly, for me, a motivator to keep going for it, whatever “it” may be.
Which living person do you admire?
There are many people that I admire but none that I appreciate more than my mom, Patrizia. Like I mentioned before, she moved to the United States from Italy when she was just 22 years old to follow her dreams. She started off in New York where she became a Nanny and learned how to speak English. Then ended up in San Antonio, TX where she met my dad. She put herself through art school and has spent her entire life dedicated to her own emotional and spiritual growth and to helping others. She is a healer, a yoga teacher, an artist, a wife and an amazing mom. <3
What is your most marked characteristic?
I really love people. I have the ability to accept most people for who they are and where they are in the moment- even if it is not who I would want to be or where I would like to go. I try to appreciate everyone for their individual strengths rather than focus on their weaknesses. I guess you could say that I tend to see the best in people (for the most part anyway).
What is your motto?
Keep Truckin’. Life throws you curve balls and tests your dedication to the path that leads to your highest potential. Keep truckin’ when things get tough and have faith. It always works out if you let go. :)
What are some things that you are proud to have accomplished?
I am proud that I had faith and overcame my fear and started Ladybird. It was a HUGE step for me and something that I know had a profound impact on my psyche and confidence (even if I’m not totally sure exactly how).
I am also proud to have such a wonderful husband and great group of friends who I couldn’t imagine living without. Their support through this and the crazy rollercoaster we call life have been invaluable.
I am proud that I care about myself enough to eat right, exercise and sleep. Well, most of the time. :)
What are some hopes you have for your future?
I want to continue to grow emotionally and spiritually. I want my business to grow too, of course, but that’s not my entire focus. I think it’s important to work hard for what you want and even harder to keep what you already have. Without my friends, my husband and my health, there would be no business to work on.
Jon and I are also expecting our first baby in May, 2017. It is such an amazing and special time and the perfect opportunity to create something that I can be proud to tell this amazing child that is joining this world and our family in May.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
Go for it! Don’t let fear hold you back, let it motivate you to move forward. Make a plan, be prepared and go for it! Keep truckin’ when it gets hard. You will never know what could’ve been if you never tried.
Good luck out there!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Adrienne Hodge
The Courage to Overcome Barriers as an Artist
People often ask me how I make time be an artist as the mother of two small children. Most of the time this question comes from other moms or other artists, and it’s an important one for those who want to keep producing art while juggling real life, kids, and obligations that decidedly are not art.
How can we overcome the internal obstacles that all artists already face in the process of art making, while overcoming the external roadblocks that all new moms face when attempting to do anything productive outside of motherhood? The answer isn’t a simple one.
When I first left my job as a middle school art teacher to stay home with my first child three and a half years ago, I was terrified. I felt like a fraud. I had an identity crisis. I thought if I wasn’t an art teacher, who was I? I didn’t want to be just a mom.
It is not in my nature to devote all of my energy to keeping my home fully functioning. At the end of the day as a stay at home mom, I was bored. I wasn’t stimulated mentally or creatively. I thrive on routine, and so I became obsessed with my daughter’s daily routine for naps and bedtime, and then wildly annoyed when they were disrupted. I was in the middle of a fantastic bout with postpartum anxiety, but I didn’t realize it until I was out of that phase and looking back on the experience.
Now that my second baby is six months old, I am fully aware of my tendencies for nervous, fretting, worrisome anxiety. It all boils down to control and self-care for me. The less control I have over a situation, the more anxious I become, but if I have an abundance of self-care opportunities, then I can better cope with my lack of control over things in my life. Although, as any new mom will tell you, that formula is complicated to execute with tiny humans in the mix.
In motherhood, the best-laid plans are completely and constantly being overturned and opportunities for self-care are often impossible to extract from days that rotate around caring for others. Under these circumstances, creating art can seem a hopeless endeavor.
But, when I went back to work teaching community art classes to adults, I learned something, and I was elated. Suddenly, I had this opportunity to reinvent myself and reassume the identity I had been missing.
My adult students seemed to view me in a way that only a few of my middle school students ever did and my confidence soared immediately. I began to set a new loftier goal for myself—something I had lied to myself about every really wanting. I wanted become an active artist (i.e. create new work on a regular basis, show my work publicly and become a networking member of the artist community in Austin and beyond). Sure, I made art as a public school teacher—project examples for my classes mostly and in the summers I’d START a big painting, but usually never finish it.
Some of my student's work at the DAC
I began to approach my art making practice as just that—a practice. If my job is being an artist, then I have to work whether I feel like showing up for my job or not. Like Picasso said—“Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.”
Even before I became a mother, making art wasn’t easy. But procrastination was. I once made a list of all of the things I do when I’m procrastinating making art—finding the perfect music, making the perfect cup of tea, cleaning my workspace, etc.—and then I got real with myself and realized that all of the procrastinating was just a lot of busy work that masks the fear of making bad art.
But bad art isn’t something to be afraid of, and it’s all part of the process—practice, setbacks, lessons learned, and new course correction. And once mom-artists recognize how precious their creation time is, a lot of the course correction becomes automatic—one of the tools we pick up naturally and add to our tool belt by default of becoming mothers.
Now, instead of cleaning my workspace or making the perfect cup of whatever and waiting for the muse to arrive, I started to just shove the mess on my desk aside, sit down with my tepid cup of coffee and get busy drawing. Some days, I may only have however long the baby nap generally lasts and I probably still need to shower, but I have to work on my art.
My art practice has become everything now.
It’s not just a therapy or an outlet for my anxiety and a sanctuary of self-care from the unrealistic expectations of motherhood in our modern era; it’s my livelihood and my identity. The lovely side effect of devoting myself whole-heartedly to this goal of art making was that my class sizes at the Dougherty Arts School where I teach drawing and painting suddenly grew around the same time my paradigm shift in personal art production occurred. I am consistently at max capacity at the start of a new class, and that had been far from the case at first. As if overnight, I had a large mailing list of students. Word of mouth is a beautiful thing.
I now share my secrets and tips for building confidence and a daily or regular art practice with all of my students or anyone who will listen, and I find this audience to be extremely grateful of my encouragement and support in this area.
I read positive art affirmations to my classes out loud while they draw and paint. I approach the class like the best yoga instructors I know structure their classes—by supporting students with a relaxed and non-judgmental atmosphere in order to help them let go of critical inner dialogue, release expectations and explore their own self-guided practice.
Sometimes my classes end up feeling like a therapy session, and I love that. People find themselves, build confidence and grow before my eyes. I think part of my journey is learning to take credit for that though.
Recently, I’ve had some “Aw, no—that was all you!” moments when students have said I was the reason they were able to surprise themselves with their painting or drawing abilities, but as I type this I realize I should probably use the line I often feed them when they start to be self-deprecating about their work—“Thanks, I worked really hard on that.”
To bring it all back around to motherhood though, I’d say my mantras for a successful art practice could be applied to my practices as the confident mother whose shoes I’m still growing into.
The key for me is setting my expectations for myself extremely low.
Yeah, you read that right, and I often say that to my students, too. “Don’t aim for the moon. Aim for the end of the lawn and maybe you’ll land among the stars. Plus, the moon is closer to the earth than the stars, so that platitude is really scientifically incorrect anyway!”
Seriously though, we expect too much of ourselves. When we let ourselves off the hook, release expectations and find a niche in our day to day that is realistic and enjoyable, that’s where we generally find peace. I am still on my path to becoming the artist I want to be, and I’m sure I always will be. It’s a long road, and I find solace in that. The joy and growth happen along the way in the most unexpected ways. “Mistakes are opportunities for growth” is something I used to say to my middle school students, but I don’t think I really owned it until I threw myself headfirst into my own art journey.
Sometimes I really do attempt to approach a day of mom-artisthood with the expectation that I will fail at getting anything done. On days when I can only make it up to the studio space I now share with another talented and inspiring artist-mom if I bring my son with me, I set out knowing it’s going to be a struggle. I put him in the pack n’ play I leave there for him, and I may only get 20 minutes of actual work done over the course of a few hours, but it doesn’t matter. The success is in the attempt.
Just showing up is what matters. I have so much patience when it comes to learning and teaching, it amazes me. I wish I could apply that kind of patience to other areas of my life. I still feel like a fraud at times. I still have a hard time taking myself seriously as an artist. There is a fine line in the mind of the creative between egotistical grandeur and crippling self-doubt.
As a mother, you can find me guzzling my glass of wine after the tantrum orchestra that is the toddler-baby bedtime at my house thinking, “Well, I kept them alive today—that’s all that matters, right?” It sounds like another joke, but it IS what matters. When I spend hours I feel I don’t have to spare on a piece of art that doesn’t work and I decide to scrap it, I can choose to see those as wasted hours or be grateful for the valuable practice and growth I just experienced as an artist.
Likewise, as a mother, when I spend an hour trying to leave the house to run an errand that doesn’t happen that day because of a diaper-blowout-turned-unexpected-naptime or epic tantrum that leaves me staring into space, I have a similar choice in regards to perspective.
Being an artist, a part-time art teacher, and a full time stay-at-home-mom means I have to choose to make the time for my art career, to set aside my fears of making bad art, to power through past exhaustion, illness, bad moods and procrastinating tendencies.
I have to schedule blocks of work time around my busy business owner husband’s schedule at times when he can be home with both kids, pump breast milk for the baby, schedule babysitters, bring the toddler or the baby to the studio with me, play cartoons for hours longer than I care to admit in order to meet a deadline or work out an idea, and stay up late into the night when everyone else is asleep. I have to not care what anyone thinks about my messy house, my laundry piles, and the takeout meals or whatever unrealistic expectations I feel I’m not meeting as a mother.
When I look back on these years of early motherhood, I know it will be a blur and I know I will think fondly of the magical cuteness and sigh heavily at the hard-but-worth-it aspect of it all.
Although, the most incredible thing that keeps me going is that something in me switched on when I became a mother.
At a time when it would have been so easy to hit the snooze button, I decided to start dreaming bigger for myself and chasing some lifetime goals I could have easily put off until the nebulous time period when kids become easier to raise.
It’s as if I was such a huge procrastinator that I thought if I don’t challenge myself at one of the most challenging times in my life to do this, I never will.
Photo Credit - Nathan Russell
Throughout this post, I’ve started to list the tricks I employ to get and stay busy on my creative work, but they are so idiosyncratic, I’m not sure they would apply to anyone else, but I’m going to do it anyway:
· I work small: I keep small bags of drawing pens and pencils, my nicer inks in one bag, small sketchbooks I can take anywhere, etc. I pull them out when I’m sitting on the couch watching crap television.
· I’m constantly researching and connecting with art: Instead of scrolling through my phone mindlessly, I search Pinterest, Tumblr or Instagram for lesson planning ideas or resources to send to my students or ideas to inspire my own art. I don’t try to overachieve like I used to with lesson plans. I take screenshots and drop them into a slideshow to share with my classes. I look at the art of others all the time. They say good writers read a lot, and I think a good artist should stay connected to art all times. I recently traded some art prints for some gorgeous glasswork of another artist who found me on Instagram. Pulling from and putting back into the local and global art community is so important. I truly believe in the law of attraction, and I think supporting other artists in any way I can will only result in the growth of my own art career.
· I keep repetitive habits: I know I thrive on routine, and I know what my procrastinating pitfalls are, so I do what I’ve found works for me and I do so religiously. I listen to a certain podcast pretty much every time I sit down to really accomplish work on a project (Marc Maron’s WTF podcast or sometimes On Being with Krista Tippett).
Most importantly—I actively nurture and fuel the positive inner dialogue in my mind, and listen to the inner critic just enough to move away from what isn’t working in my art without bemoaning the loss of time and energy.
I practice constantly, and recognize that if something is off, I’m probably out of practice.
I’m not lying about positive art affirmations. There is a lot to be gained from saying “I am an artist. I am a creative genius!” to yourself and believing it.
All of these tricks really boil down to this, too. It’s an attitude.
A personal investment in your own self-compassion goes such a long way.
There is a thing we all wish we could do if personal ability wasn’t an obstacle and most of the time acknowledging that inner critic and nurturing yourself anyway will make it happen—sometimes overnight, and sometimes in the midst of the most challenging self-care epoch of your life!
Woah!! What an amazing piece of writing, right? I found myself idenitfying with so many points and also feeling completely inspired. I hope you did too! xo- catia
Connect with Adrienne here!
Moon Gallery Instagram / Facebook / Adrienne Hodge / Etsy / Moon Gallery Studio
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Erin Ruoff
Tell us a little bit about yourself:
I'm Erin and I came to Austin at almost 6 years ago to get out of the little bubble I was living in. I needed some “weird” in my life and boy, does Austin dish it out. Within five years here I years got hitched, moved to the burbs and had a baby. A quick 5 years! I'm a mom and agency owner by day and a blogger by night. My day normally consists of a Starbucks caramel macchiato, chasing the little chunk around the house, managing to help run an advertising agency and manage a household, followed by some home-cooked food, and then finishing off the day with the Bachelorette, netflix or a movie.
My blog Hi Lovely is a place to share outfits, babies, treats and travels. Focused on photography, fashion and greater well-being of this new mama's life. You'll find me easily seduced by a lovely cup of coffee, a well designed hand bag or a margarita. I might be covered in baby poop one day and diamonds the next. Thus the life of a mom who blogs.
What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?
I’ve always dreamt of having a boutique or successful fashion blog. I yearned over the gorgeous photos of Blair Eadie and A Beautiful Mess. I would spend my breaks running a boutique (for an awful company) and just longed to have a blog like theirs – so full of life and fun. Thankfully my husband helped me pick a name, bought the domain and I started by taking pictures outside work. Nothing fancy but it felt right!
How did it feel getting started?
It was scary. I lost my job a month or so after I started the blog. I got fired, y’all. And I was scared. Scared of what I was going to tell my parents. Scared of what my husband would say. Being laid off for giving my mom a “friends and family discount.” A discount that was sewn into the company culture. I was devastated. I sat on the ground of our rental and “let go and let God.” I prayed for answers, guidance and strength. That day my husband offered me a piece of the advertising agency he owned and I got off the floor and started blogging.
Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started blogging?
Lots of obstacles: time management, maintaining a regular posting schedule, taking quality pictures, etc. etc. But the biggest thing was self esteem. I worried so much about what others would think of me posting photos of myself. I’m no model nor to I pretend to be and I didn’t want people to think that’s what I was doing. I really just love playing dress up and putting together outfits. I had to get over that and it took a while. I love who I am and the outfits I put on. I hope that my “friends” see that and those that don’t can unfollow me.
What motivates you to be a life and style blogger?
My blogger friends in the mommy and style business are so motivating. They just show that the industry of fashion is changing from fashion shows and glorious magazine ads to fashion bloggers of all shapes and sizes. They radiate happiness, yet are so real and are able to blog full time. It’s an amazing feeling to get your first big client that sees who you are and wants you to showcase their brand. I know God had plans for me to do something creative and I think this is it.
Which living person do you most admire?
My dad. He’s had hard times and worked his life to the top of the newspaper business only to be laid off due to the demise of the industry. He got back up at 50 and got a great job. Though it might not be his passion, he persevered and didn’t let the age statistics of unemployment get him down. He’s the greatest grandfather to my son. Though we don’t see eye to eye on politics, we still are able to have rational conversations and I love that about him. He also taught me to love sports, writing and photography. It pretty much runs in our blood.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Singing. I’m terrible. And the natural ability to talk on camera. I get this weird girly, high-pitched voice when the red light comes on. I don’t know how to stop….
What is your most marked characteristic?
I’m a very loyal friend. Once you have me in your tribe, I’m a lifer.
What is your motto?
Let go and Let God. And my funny one “Hi Lovely!” (You automatically smile saying it.)
What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?
Being a Social Media Director of a million dollar ad agency, running social media for Austin’s largest parenting resource and getting off my feet when I hit rock bottom to accomplish those two things.
What are some hopes you have for your future?
I’d love to make an honest living from blogging. Although our agency is our main income, it’d be nice to have a second income so we can tuck a little more away and start really contributing to charities around town.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?
“Let go and let God” guide you to your blogging journey. Don’t let self-esteem, nay-sayers or competitors get you down. Trust in Him to see the value in YOU and what YOU are doing. Don’t be afraid to “pitch” a companyeven if you have small numbers. Do spend time growing your audience and engaging with your followers. And don’t EVER let it be chore! Have fun.
Essay by: Erin Ruoff
It seems like BECOMING the woman you were meant to be isn't easy for anyone! Each one of our roads has speed bumps and turns and sometimes outright blocks! But as Erin showed us, it's possible to get up and RISE.
Thanks, Erin!!!
You can find Erin at Hi Lovely and on Instagram and Facebook.
love!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Crystal Ngumezi
The Courage to Become Set Apart
I had the courage to become set apart back in 2014, but allow me the opportunity to share with you how I got there:
I’m a Texas native with a Nigerian background. You don’t hear that often, now do you? I was born and raised in Houston, TX with a Nigerian upbringing; both my parents are from the country of Nigeria in West Africa, making me a product of immigrants. Growing up in Texas with Nigerian roots made for a very interesting childhood experience, one that I feel shaped me into the woman I am today. I learned that being different was okay, and that being different made me stronger and more qualified for the life that God had set up for me. My parents taught me that discipline and hard work would serve me well in the future, and as a young business-minded individual today, I can honestly say that it has.
Growing up, I always had a knack for mathematics and creativity, so when I was about 17 years old, I made the decision to pursue Mechanical Engineering as an undergraduate degree. In 2013, I received my B.S. in Mechanical Engineering from the University of Texas at San Antonio. During my undergraduate experience at UTSA, I was able to travel the country and intern for various companies during my summer breaks. After graduation, I received the opportunity to work for a notable fortune 500 company in Fort Worth, TX, as a manager in training, where I later became a full-time technical manager. In my young career, I’ve had the privilege of serving in 2 different managerial positions for 2 different companies. However, I can’t attribute my professional success to my own deeds. It has truly been the work of God moving in my life that provided me with these various opportunities to build my professional portfolio at such a young age.
With all of this being said, back to 2014, where my real story began:
In 2014, I made the radical decision to quit my day job and move back home to Houston, TX. I made this decision in order to pursue my purpose and to follow Christ. Sounds pretty crazy huh? Not quite.
At the time, I was doing pretty well for myself in my career. The money I earned was great, the benefits were awesome, and I was well taken care of as a younger employee.
So you might be left asking, “Why did you quit then?” Well, I’m happy you asked. The problem was that while working in my career, I experienced many internal struggles.
It was like I was at war with myself. I knew that God had a great calling on my life, but I didn’t know how my job and career at the time lined up with that calling. This internal war I experienced on the inside, along with many other battles I was facing simultaneously, led me into a state of mental depression. I literally became sick as a direct result of not following my purpose. I thought I would have been able to cope with this mental illness, but as I continued my work in that field, my depression became worse, and my desire to leave became stronger. When my depression started to affect my work, I knew I had a very important decision to make.
I knew the cause of my illness, and I knew it was severe. What I didn’t know was how I was going to make the critical decision to quit my job, and ultimately to leave my career. What made this decision even harder for me was that due to my success as a training manager, my job offered me a high raise and promotion. Talk about a test! Despite this tantalizing offer, I made the ultimate decision to decline and resign as a manager at that company. I chose to follow God’s will for my life and walk away from my career.
This was not an easy decision to make.
Moving back home was not in my plans - but it was in God’s plans. My friends and family were all in awe of my decision, but I knew that God was leading me. Despite the opposition I faced as a direct result of this decision, I had the courage to become Set Apart.
In The Bible, the term “set apart” means to be separated from what is common and deemed normal - to be chosen. The decision I made to leave what was familiar to me demanded my total surrender to what God had planned for me. I didn’t understand what I was walking into back then, but I knew that my life was radically about to be changed forever.
Now I know that for some of you reading this story, you may find the decision I made to quit my job quite questionable. It was a drastic move, but as a believer, I can truly attest to the fact that the decision I made back in 2014 saved my life.
Jesus saved my life, and he healed me from my mental depression.
Back in 2014, I made the decision to no longer live for myself, but instead to live for God and his purposes for my life. Through my radical obedience to God’s will, I found my true identity in Christ, and I experienced supernatural healing on multiple levels.
One of those levels being my mental health. The healing process I experienced as a direct result of following God’s will was not an overnight thing; God led me out of a state of depression and fear, and into a state of peace and serenity, through months of restoration. Because of my depression, I had forgotten what it was like to live free and victorious. The one thing I had put all of my trust and energy into - my mind, my smarts, and my intelligence - had ultimately failed me. I didn’t see a doctor, and I wasn’t prescribed any medication - God healed me. After God healed my mind, he began to heal my spirit, and ultimately the rest of my body.
In 2015, I began my spiritual walk with the Lord, and encountered various tests and trials along the way. I had my experience of dead ends, faulty relationships, and disappointments, all in an effort to show and to teach me how to follow Jesus the correct way. I’ve had my fair share of bumps and bruises along this journey, but God has always been in my corner cheering me on. He never gave up on me and he always encourages me to keep on fighting. When I would experience situations targeting my fleeting depression in the past, he would come through for me in ways I can’t even tell you. I am now learning how to trust and depend on God in every way. Due to the tests and trials I have experienced, I can honestly say that I have become a stronger woman and an ambassador of Faith.
And today I am joyful and blessed to be here. I can truly attest to the fact that God is faithful, and that He rewards those who diligently seek him. I’m still young and in my prime, but I can truly say that God has begun a good work in me. I can see the fruits of his work. He uses me to mentor young women, and to minister to people I would have never met otherwise. I’m now mentally, spiritually, and physically healthy, and I have peace in my life - not a worldly peace - but the peace that surpasses all understanding.
Whatever you are going through and whatever season you are in, know that God has a plan for you. He had a plan for me, and I would have never found it had I not sought his will. Don’t let fear rob you of experiencing and enjoying a great, purpose-filled life. It’s never too late to make the decision to follow Christ.
My hope in sharing my story with you is that you will take what I have experienced, and use it as fuel to activate your own personal desires to live in the life that God has called you to. I pursued purpose and it changed my life.
Thanks for reading, and God bless you.
Essay by: Crystal Ngumezi
From Crystal:
I have a blog on my online website, crystalngumezi.com, that I use to encourage people to live healthy lives, offering healthy recipes and ways to easily prepare them, along with posts encouraging women to live in the fullness of the Proverbs 31 woman, and informative tips for people pursuing purpose.
I also publish weekly devotionals on my other website, lifeloveandinspirationblog.com, where I teach Christians about Jesus, spreading The Gospel.
Apart from my personal websites, I’m a freelance writer on MyTrendingStories.com, where I write articles relating to business, news and technology. I’m also working on a non-profit organization for young women, which will provide them with professional mentorship and professional development training, scheduled to launch next year.
You can follow me on all social media platforms @crystalngumezi, and follow and like my Facebook page @CrystalNgumeziBlog.
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Laura Morsman-Churchill
The Courage to Become a Business Owner + Enjoy it
Hey there! My name is Laura Morsman-Churchill, I created Laura Morsman Photography, my destination editorial photography company -- in 2013 when I first moved to Austin by total accident after years of working as a manager for Anthropologie! I am originally from Kansas City live in Austin, Texas with my music teacher husband John, and our two pups, Mr. Hitchens and Muffy!
Being the 2nd oldest child of 6 in my family, (with the youngest two currently 10 years old) many of my clients ask me how I can keep my calm in the middle of the chaos of working with so many people, and I always refer back to the incredibly beautiful circus living in a big family does to a person. You just go with the flow ;)
One thing I was afraid of doing but did anyway was….
Definitely starting my own business, but up until it happened, I had no idea that it was what I wanted to be doing!! I never had dreams of being an entrepreneur or a business owner. I went to college to become a child psychologist and art therapist, and left my senior year after a traumatic life event two semesters away from graduating. I honestly had no goal to be a photographer, and no clear direction with a career path. When people started asking me if I would photograph their families (after they saw me photograph my own big family), I just never said no, and now I'm here! It was definitely/honestly was a case of "fake it till you make it".
Getting started felt…
Absolutely crazy. I had been so conditioned to working a 40+ hour week, managing a team, setting monetary sales goal, with a bi-monthly paycheck and health insurance. When it came to the point where I grew to have each of my weekends taken up by photo shoots, my husband was absolutely the one responsible for pushing me past my comfort zone and finally stepping down as manager, to a part time employee, and finally taking my leave after almost 5 years with a company I truly loved.
My business wouldn't exist without that terrifying leap and definitely wouldn't have happened if my husband hadn't had been there to push me off the ledge of self-doubt.
Obstacles I faced getting started…
Oh man. Where to start. When I first started my photography business, I don't want to say that I didn't have confidence, I feel like that was one thing I did have because I didn't intend to be a photographer at all! With that, if I ever did get a push back or even just a question from a potential client about my prices, ideas, location options, I shrank on the inside.
Learning how to stand by what I was offering was one of the hardest details for me but once I got it, and knew that what I was offering was valuable, that was such a great area of growth that shifted my entire business. Dividing my actual worth and my business has been an incredibly hard but extremely powerful journey for me.
I am motivated by…
My love for people motivates me to keep photographing them. Knowing the intricacy and quickness of life keeps my mind desiring to document it as much as I can.
The most pivotal moment in my life to date was my closest friend suddenly passing away when I was 18. I had taken a photo of him hours before he was killed, and realizing how important that moment caught in time was to me, I think of how people view their loved ones, and I want to capture every ounce of spirit in my clients lives that I can.
We aren't promised anything in life, but we get into grooves where it feels as if we will have all that is around us forever. I do my best to document this world through the eyes of loving it so much, and then I give that viewpoint back to my clients. I love it so so much.
The living person I admire most is…
Without a doubt, it's Ellen DeGeneres. Despite the adversity she found herself in at the very start of her career, she persevered through the doubt and absolute judgement people put up against her best efforts and showed the world how to love, smile, and laugh, even amidst people's small mindedness or life's pains. Look at that shining, loving light of a person now and how many lives she has changed. She was always Ellen, and she knew that 100% without anyone's acceptance. It just took the world years to realize how much she had to share.
I would most like to have the talent to…
I would love to have the opposite of stage fright when it comes to singing!! My mom was an opera singer, and taught me the craft! I absolutely love LOVE singing... and in a former or future life, that would be what I'd be doing! One of these days you'll find me on a stage or at an outdoor venue singing a tune or two ;)
My most marked characteristic is…
I have been told often that I am very tolerant/patient. That totally makes me laugh though! I definitely go back to the whole large family bit. You can't be impatient when 5 people need dinner, want to play outside, are missing a shoe, trying to ride the dog like a horse, or need their seat belt buckled!
A motto I try to live by is…
As simple as it is, it's "Live and let live". In our life we always seem to wait for others to accept the way/path/route we've chosen before we accept it as OK for ourselves. Especially in a world where our lives are encouraged to be documented in portfolio form through social media and shown to the entire world essentially awaiting their approval. You do you and I'll do me, and let's just love each other through understanding, or if there isn't that, through acceptance and respect.
Some things I am proud to have accomplished are…
Hmm... That's hard to have an answer to! For me, my biggest accomplishments in my mind were emotional rather than career focused. My high school and college years were my toughest and some I almost didn't make it through. Accepting the recovery path after almost losing my life to anorexia and deciding to live past the pain in losing friends at an early age to me were things I never thought I could endure. I am still in awe of being on this side of those seasons and am more thankful than ever to be able to relate and walk with those going through the same experiences.
Some hopes I have for my future are…
I don't really know! It takes a lot for me to stay in the present. I love where I am, and if I could do this forever, I would! I am so happy with where this hustle has gotten me, I love my life. At this point, I get to travel to see my family, experience my youngest siblings growing up, and things keep getting better. I would love to photograph families, wedding and fashion all around the world. And I'm doing that! My hope for the future would be continued opportunities and continual expansion of where my photography finds itself!
One piece of advice I would give women about to embark on this journey is…
I talk about this all the time when people are approaching photography as a business, a blog, anything. You can't go into it with others’ opinions or acceptances being your compass or scale of your value or success. You go into something like this accepting success or failure with the same open arms, and also realizing that this isn't your only skill, your only value, or your only purpose. Someone asked me on a podcast interview if I had a plan B, and if I did, then I wasn't a real photographer. My answer was that if I didn't have a plan B, then I was shortchanging myself on my own abilities, because I am so much more than a photographer and if I needed to, I would totally dive into anything else I love doing!
The second part to this is the most important to me -- It's loving others and embracing their success despite your own. Your business shouldn't adjust your heart towards others, and if anything, it should stretch it. As hard as it is, try to nix competition and embrace encouragement.
If you tend to compare, put yourself down, and lose your steam when you are watching other's success -- don't watch others. If you find yourself feeling like a failure when you see others on Instagram seemingly soaring with their pursuits and business, do yourself a favor and shut that app OFF!
You do you, no one else can take that uniqueness away from you! Soon enough you'll see that your own ideas and the way you approach, brand, document your work will have its own personality since it isn't being squelched or influenced by people walking their own unique paths!
Essay by: Laura Morsman-Churchil
I am honored to know Laura, she is a gem of a person. Right?! Can't you just feel her peace. I think it's so powerful.
Run don't walk to Laura! You'll be glad you did!!!! She's based in Austin, but travels the country! Maybe she'll stop in your neck of the woods next!!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Sarah Donovan
The Courage to Face Anxiety + Help Women Rise
As a young girl, you could find me painting flowers or vintage VOGUE covers. I guess you could say that was the beginning of my career as an artist. And all along the way, my mom encouraged me to keep a paintbrush in my hand. Even though I tried my hand at other things, my heart always lead me back to painting.
I knew I loved art and design AND I have always had a desire to be with people and love people.
My parents were always caring for others and their family members so I have them to thank for this characteristic.
In 2006 I was blessed with the opportunity to share this love for people by visiting Uganda on a mission trip. My goal was to share love with Ugandans, but these beautiful people showed me a love that is truly indescribable.
During college, I went through a series of rough patches. I enjoyed partying and boys more than studying for a period of time. (Anybody else?) And after some questionable decisions, I came to the realization that I wasn't loving myself.
Shortly after this fun phase, I met my precious husband Andrew. And a year after graduating college (babies!), we were married.
I knew I loved Andrew when we got married, but through life's challenges, I have really gotten to know his loyalty – and I admire him the most. He is my rock, and literally the other half of me. I admire his ability to lead without being cocky, his kindness, and his love for myself and our son.
I struggled to find a job so I started teaching art at a local art school. While teaching, I took freelance creative jobs and began my stationery business, The Stationery Bakery.
At first I focused on wedding invitations and over the past few years the business had transformed and now I illustrate greeting cards, prints, and home + gift items.
But while that is my passion career wise, I also have an insane passion for loving my husband and kid.
After becoming a mom, and experiencing some personal hardships, I discovered my drive to support and love women.
Let’s rewind to 2014.
While I had a seemingly healthy pregnancy, I experienced anxiety around ultrasound appointments. And even after determining everything was fine, I turned into a beautiful anxious mess!
During the end of my pregnancy, I was convinced I was dying. And that anxiety ramped up after having George.
I was obsessed with this kid and was constantly worried something would happen to him or myself. And after a few long months of suffering the grips of anxiety, I got help from an amazing counselor in Austin, Brett Brightwell. I experienced a total identity crisis when becoming a mom!
(The identity crisis happens to most of us ;) , only I didn’t know that.) Thankfully, I was and have been able to work through the root causes of my anxiety.
In addition to counseling, it became clear that I was dealing with postpartum anxiety and OCD and so I got on medication under the guidance of Suzanne Grantham out of Austin.
When I started to feel some relief, I decided to break my silence and speak out about my experience. Speaking out was therapeutic and I met women who struggled with similar chaos. Then, I started to find a sense of community among other women.
Seeing the importance of community among women and the growing need for mental health support, I felt inspired to start a small support group. The group is called Moms Arising and the goal is to provide a safe environment that encourages women to rise up even in the midst of challenging times.
It's so hard to be a woman.
It's brutal to be a mom.
My hope is to continue to seek for answers within myself so that my confidence will encourage other women to do the same.
My anxiety is not cured, it is still a part of my life today. I still look over my shoulder from time to time waiting for a crippling panic attack. However, I have found relief in surrounding myself with a tribe that I love and trust. And my tribe is constantly evolving because of the unique people I meet each day.
In addition to my husband and my tribe, I have found a lot of healing in my faith and personal relationship with God. I used to think of God as this judging figure shaking his head at my poor decisions – but I have come to understand him as a loving father embracing me (entirely) in every moment.
We all go through scary times, but we can use those moments to reflect and meditate. Those times are what shape who we are and who we become.
Essay by: Sarah Donovan
I feel so lucky to have Sarah share her story with us! She worked through her fears AND had the wherewithal to take action and help other women! That is the definition of amazing and community and a strong woman. Wow!!!!
Stop by and say hi to Sarah and pick up some of her GORGEOUS ART WORK !
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Aimee Gonzalez Niebuhr
The Courage to Become Fulfilled
When Catia invited me to share my story of courage in this inspiring series, I felt relieved that she and I met during my thirtieth year of life; had she propositioned me any sooner, well, then there might not have been a story to tell. This year has been the year of my becoming.
Perhaps I am a late bloomer. Maybe it is that I spent many years devoting my gifts to nurturing the blossoming of others: my husband and our marriage, our two growing boys, my many younger siblings, and the countless people I hold dear. You see, while those who know me most intimately would tell you that I have always lived a courageous life, the truth is that I am only just beginning to break free from fear and find fulfillment.
It isn’t to say that my childhood wasn’t fulfilling. My mother, a relentlessly heroic single mama, taught me grit and perseverance. We found smiles in simplicity. I was the girl who sat beneath the crooked branches of the mesquite trees in my South Texas backyard filling my journal with poetry. In the fifth grade, I earned the title of “Texas Rising Star” and had a poem published. It was my first taste of seeing my words in print. I was hooked. When interviewed at an awards banquet and asked whom I planned to be when I grew up, I confidently proclaimed that I would be a journalist and published author. In my ten-year-old heart, it was destiny. What could ever stand in my way?
Yet, over the course of my life, my fearlessness faded. My poetry became darker; my journals more filled with angst, until, at last, writing ceased altogether. I could tell you of all of the experiences that diminished my feminine power: the assaults upon my body and spirit, which profoundly affected my self worth for years to come. Experiences that shaped my perception of the world, leading me to believe that love wasn’t truly love without pain; life couldn’t truly be lived without aching. And women were intended to slowly fade away.
But that isn’t the story I want to tell you today, and the sobering truth is, if you are a woman reading this account, you likely have your own stories of injustice layered somewhere within your soul, amongst the songs of triumph and gladness.
No, I want to tell you about the day that I decided that I was courageous enough to seek fulfillment. The moment when I realized I was bold enough to become.
Before I could begin my ascent, however, I had to stop and confront my discontent.
It is difficult as a mother to say the words aloud: I long for something more. I was living a life many dream of; a life I had dreamed of myself. A man who wanted nothing more than to provide happiness and stability loved me, fully, and I loved him in return. I was healing past wounds. Growing into myself. We had welcomed two remarkable boys into the world; their ability to see every miniscule moment as marvelous brought me profound joy. Staying home to care for and homeschool them was a gift. Life wasn’t always perfect, and it was rarely easy, but it was ours.
Yet, I continued to struggle internally with feelings of worthlessness, while wearing a brave smile for the world. I played the part of gracious wife, gentle mother, patient teacher, and with each year that passed, with every moment that I spent pouring my soul into others, I felt myself drifting further and further away from the girl who once occupied my body. The girl who dreamed. The girl who put pencil to paper and wrote the words dancing in her head. The girl who believed that everyone had a story to tell. That every voice mattered. (Even my own.)
Had I not had my daughter, I might not have ever found that girl again.
We sat in the postpartum room alone together in the stillness of the night. My new beautiful baby, hours old, felt so delicate in my embrace, somehow smaller than her two brothers had been, yet her eyes were alert with wonder. She was tiny, but she exuded power. A deeply profound sense of urgency filled me as we held each other’s gaze; an urgency to become the woman I had always imagined myself to be.
How would I ever begin to teach her that she could be anything, anything, she desired, if I could not face my fears and manifest my own desires?
In the weeks that followed the fiery urgency grew; it was as if a small spark of possibility had grown into a passionately raging fire. Though I had been able to ignore it in the years that had preceded, there was no putting it out this time. There were moments that were uncomfortable, as I reconciled the fact that motherhood alone could not sustain me. For years, I hid behind the guise of the giver, acting as though my life were too busy to be able to give to myself. Yet, it wasn’t about all of the moments spent mothering. It wasn’t even about the fear trying and failing.
I was afraid to become, because if I did, I just might discover how powerful I could truly be.
(Spoiler alert: I jumped in headfirst and did it anyway.)
Laptop balanced against my knees, my six-week-old daughter nursed eagerly at my breast as the debit card shook between my trembling fingers. I purchased my little corner of the internet. A blog. A space for the words suppressed for a decade to finally exist.
As the clock counted down to a new year, tears of gratitude streamed down my cheeks. “You can be anything you choose to become, baby girl. And I am going to show you it is true.”
It has been eleven months since that fateful night; they have been some of the most transformative of my life. As a mom who had her babies young and didn’t finish college, I’ve found the courage to apply for freelance writing jobs, and I have earned them. I’ve seen my words published and shared in places I have only dreamed of. I’ve met women who inspire me to share my truth and speak it loudly.
My stories are no longer shouting at me from the insides, begging to be written; out of my body and into the light they have come. And even if no one ever read them at all, it wouldn’t matter, because that has never been the point. There is joy in knowing they exist, because through their existence, I exist.
Not as Aimee: the once broken and now pieced-back-together girl. Not as Aimee: the wife, the mother, the friend; though coveted roles they all may be.
I exist as Aimee: the one with the divine gift.
(As each of you are also called to exist.)
And when my old companion fear begins to raise her voice? I look her in the eye. Aloud, I cry, “I am ready to accept the gifts offered to me,” tilting my head a little higher than even fear can stand.
Most of all, I am beginning to understand the gravity of Dr. Brene Brown’s message when she told us that “any gift that goes unused becomes a burden.”
I feel the weight of my longing lifting, and I have never felt more alive.
Essay by: Aimee Gonzalez Niebuhr
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Elisa Botello
The Courage to: Get Divorced, Single Mom it, and STILL Chase After Your Dreams.
A week after I graduated college in May 2009, I took a trip to Amsterdam with my then boyfriend. We'd been dating since the Halloween before, and despite of how “all wrong” it was to everyone who knew us (including our own unconsciousness), I said yes when he dropped to one knee at a European café.
A short couple months later, we were PREGNANT.
And then – only 7 months after the baby was born, I left my husband.
You see, in the areas that I didn’t know him that well – I imagined him having Disney prince qualities. But that was all my hope and imagination, and they couldn’t have been more off.
He grew up in an affluent neighborhood in Austin and I grew up in a good ol' country-as-a-chicken-coop, small-East-Texas-football-obsessed-town. Our backgrounds were, but we still wanted a family. And despite how wrong we were for each other—in deal-breaking ways—our shared dream was to have the family he and I had always wanted as children but never had (as we both grew up in broken homes.)
Sadly, an idealistic family wasn't in the cards for us.
Yes, leaving my husband was the worst financial decision of my life. I'm still paying for debts we acquired. But it was THE BEST decision for me as a woman, because I immediately felt free and had the second chance to be the person I had always dreamed of being.
I was 24 and a single mom. And being a mother gave me the kick in the butt that nothing had come close to giving me. As soon as I was on my own I landed a job as a romance novel editor, and before my son reached his second birthday, I had written and published 3 novels. And now I have 7!
Seven years later, that time in my life seems like a blur. I never allowed myself a chance to stop, to think, to feel – I know now that I was lost in depression.
You know those “look at your memories” options on Facebook? A few weeks ago this memory from 7 years ago popped up.
Woke up at 5:30 to get ready for work and prepare the baby's diaper bag for daycare, then woke up a bouncing and excited Dre to get him dressed, sat in traffic so early in the morning that it was still dark, dropped off Dre (running to the door because my boss would skin my hide if I were late again), cried in the car because I won't see my baby until tomorrow afternoon since his dad has him tonight, sped to work to make it to my desk on time, worked till 5, changed into my Bone Daddy's waitress uniform in the car as I sat in traffic for another hour, served beer and burgers to an establishment full of hungry men, then just now walked in to my apartment at 1AM. When will this craziness ever end?!
Seven years later it brought me sadness that I couldn’t answer my 24 year old self with a relieving answer, and my heart broke when I realized, the craziness hadn't ended -- and it won't for some time. The life of a single mom is TOUGH.
But that's okay!
I left an unhealthy marriage, became a mother to the most amazing person to ever exist (no seriously, no “spirited” or “fiery” trait in his sweet, brave soul; the only fire that comes out in his vigilante nature is when he's standing up for anyone being bullied, a hero-complex he's had since he was 2), chased after my dream of being a writer when it seemed all odds were against me as a poor, overworked, and immature young mother, and I work my ass off every single day to keep striving.
Does 4 hours of sleep at night feel good? Hell no.
Does the fact that my multiple jobs often cause me to say no to the date invite from the guy I've been thinking about all week cause excitement? Not exactly.
And it sucks that I miss 99% of Girls Nights because my schedule is so intense that sometimes I use the restroom just to sit down.
On top of it, thinking about the endless moments and milestones I fail to witness within my only child's life causes muscle-ripping, violent, heartbreak.
BUT, at 31 - I am still finding the courage and strength chase my dream, (and now our dream since I’m part of a mother-son duo), and that feels damn good.
“The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?” —Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean
Essay by: Elisa Botello
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide
The Courage to Become | Camaron Brooks
The Courage to Stand UP. Follow the yellow brick road and find your TRUTH.
Manifesting Mama - I am an uber- believer in the law of attraction. I am also a self-help junkie. I've definitely manifested things in my life. I wanted a cookie one day while working as a reporter for KRGV and no sooner did I make my mental request did a co-worker offer me one dripping with chocolate chips. Exactly what I ordered.
I dreamed about a job in TV news dating back to the fourth grade. I anchored a school-wide broadcast and loved it. I told everyone who would listen what I was going to do with my life. In college, I heard "that's tough to get into..." or "you really have to have the right look." I saw their faces. I witnessed the doubt. I kept working. I interned at CNN (once catching a glimpse of Larry King in the elevator.) I interned at KTLA and when the staffers announced a contest open to college students (including me) I applied. I told everyone at school to apply too. "Wouldn't it be so great if someone from Cal State Fullerton got picked?"
And they did! My first live shot for the contest was at the Staples Center at an L.A. Clippers game. I kept advancing as the contest continued. I met the members of the 90’s band Smash Mouth, the Los Angeles Times printed my picture. Brian McKnight even asked if I needed a ride after a tapping. I said, "No, thank you." I had a boyfriend. I also secretly hoped he didn't see my car. Zip ties held the bumper of my green Honda Civic on in two places. The winner won $25,000 dollars. I made it to the finals placing second. As the runner-up, I got a Jack in the Box Ciabatta.
That was ten years ago. The footage helped me land my first TV job in Midland, TX. I drove that beat up Honda across four states a few months later. It was tough. I grew through major self-doubt for two years before I started looking for my next job. I applied to nearly 100 jobs during the great recession. I finally found a job at KRGV in 2009. The Rio Grande Valley felt like home. I learned so much about life and myself. I made great friends and I stretched until I was 29-years-old and practically prancing around the Channel 5 newsroom talking about how I wanted a family. I wanted babies. I told everyone. I made vision boards and started seeing a counselor, a life coach and read lots of self- help and prayed. (Not to spoil the ending but... My vision came to life. I’m married with two beautiful babies.)
Detrimental determination - I've always known how much our thoughts influence our lives. If I wanted something I could make it happen. Nothing could stop me. It's one of my best/worst traits. Now that I’m turning 34 I understand my own limitations better. I certainly believe my thoughts steer my life but I now know God is the sails and the wind and the sky and the sun. Steering the ship isn't enough. I can't make it to shore alone. I probably felt like I needed to go it alone because I started moving so young. My parents moved me from Illinois to California just weeks after I was born. Then we moved overseas to Germany for a few years before moving back to Stockton, CA. I went to three elementary schools and two middle schools and in my senior year of High School my parents moved two hours south. I ended up testing out of High School and starting junior college. Everyone told me I would fail without a proper diploma. I bucked the idea. I kept working toward my goals.
I know, it’s weird—I managed to ignore so many negative voices throughout my life when I spent so much time trying desperately to make people like me. I moved so often, I needed to fit in. In fact, fitting in was my life goal. I was so embarrassed when I won awards. Or stood out. I didn’t want to give anyone a reason not to like me. I was determined to be friends with everyone. I dragged this determination into my romantic relationships. I mistakenly believed I alone could make them work. I ignored signs of trouble. I ate my feelings. I drank too much. I did anything to help me ignore my own discontentment. I believed I merely needed to control my thoughts (and I suppressed lots of feelings in the process.)
In 2011, my news director gave me a great opportunity for career growth. I would anchor weekend mornings and report three days a week. I immediately felt enormous pressure and fell into a depression. I sobbed to a co-worker the day my nephew was born. I wanted to be there. I enjoyed my work but my nephew’s arrival forced me to see what I was missing and the job was starting to force me to stand out beyond my comfort zone. My face was on all the promotional videos. My determination had gotten me into what felt like a VIP party and all I could do was grab two crab cakes and a carrot from the bountiful buffet. I was too confused and embarrassed to enjoy it. Did I really want this? Or was I just so determined to reach my goal at any cost? Did I want a family more than my old dreams? A couple of years later I got my answers. I decided I wanted a family more than a career.
Wild Spirit- I may love cardigans, reading (especially anything Oprah suggests) and quiet coffee shops but there’s also a wildness to me most people don’t always recognize. I probably don’t want people to see (the part of me that went skinny dipping in a Las Vegas pool, or who jumped out of an airplane, or who wrote a book and published it). So, I find it difficult to properly put myself out there. My book debuted without pre-orders or parties. It’s like I found an unwanted kitten, posted it on Facebook and dropped off at a shelter (convinced I’d done my due diligence.) I tried to move on but it nagged me. The book was funny and enjoyable—at least the few people who read it told me. Couldn’t I do a little more? Didn’t my story deserve my best effort?
I cried in the shower, wrote through contractions, and discovered how difficult it is for me to enjoy the moment. That’s why I started writing my story. I couldn’t be the only mom going through this massive identity crisis. Motherhood opened me up the all the ways I tried to control my thoughts and emotions. My new role tested me in every way. Pre-baby I focused on my career and the future. After baby, I needed to commit myself to living in the moment. I found comfort in retelling the stories of my reporting days while incorporating it into my new reality.
My e-book debuted almost a year ago. Today, I see how clearly I tried to hide behind the difficulties of the self-publishing. How I refused to be fully seen yet again. I didn't believe I deserved the spotlight. Sure, I could manifest a cookie but what about a successful writing career?
Get Out of the Vault- I ran tapes to and from the tape library during my internship with CNN. It was quite an elaborate system with barcodes and specifically labeled tapes. During my frequent visits to the vault I met a nice man who managed the archives. He asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I told him what I told everyone… “I wanted to be a reporter.”
“Then go where they’ll let you report.” He said. “I always wanted to be a photographer. I took this job because I thought it would get my foot in the door. That was twenty years ago.”
I heard what he was saying. I went far away from Southern California to a place where I could be a reporter. I learned the craft and sharpened my skills. Over the years I started to realize my favorite part of my day was the moment I sat down to WRITE. I enjoyed the other aspects of my job, especially hearing all the amazing stories from the people I met. BUT I was called to write. Writing felt sacred. I continued to write online after I left the business because I remembered those words.
If you want to be a singer (for example) go ahead and take the job in the mailroom at Sony Records only if you’re singing in church, coffee shops and on the street. Don’t take the job and wait for someone to give you a chance to sing. You’ll never get it. Start doing what you love TODAY.
As the saying goes…“comfort is a hard habit to break.” Stay far away from the vault!
Limiting Beliefs - Parenting certainly finds a way to show you what you believe. I stood in the middle of a Toys-R-Us when one of my limiting beliefs smacked me around. Brandon held tightly to a Paw Patrol Control tower. We’d just given him a very expensive battery-operated truck. "Brandon, you can't have everything..." I told my three-year-old with conviction.
And there it was. The belief—limiting everything in my life. The idea living inside of me saying I couldn't have this amazing family AND an amazing career. Somehow I always believed I must choose. Motherhood certainly asks us to prioritize at different times our kid’s lives but my unexamined belief meant I needed to choose. Success or family. Never both.
I want my son and daughter to know the value of things and I want them to be generous. I also want them to know that they can work and eventually manifest everything their little hearts can dream up. Life is bountiful! We should all enjoy the buffet. That’s why I'm currently trying to shift my thinking away from my old limiting beliefs. I’m tired of holding myself back.
Instead of trying not to stand out, I am focusing on standing up. I'm a woman with important stories to share. Aren't we all? Doesn't every soul on this earth have a powerful, beautiful, stirring story in their heart? I know you do. I want to read your story.
My becoming will unfold until my last breath. I’ve learned so much and still have so much to learn and give. I love cheering on Catia Holm as she chases her dreams. She makes me feel like anything is possible with her brand of fearlessness and self-confidence. Plus, isn’t becoming contagious? She reminds us all to stand up for our dreams.
Trusting God’s Timing- Being in a relationship can be another way to hide. I’ve certainly hidden in my past relationships. I didn’t need to venture out and truly be myself because I was a part of a couple. I remember telling an ex-boyfriend I might want to be a teacher or a writer. He scoffed and told me “you’re a reporter.”
Ultimately, I ended that relationship in order to find my own happiness. I left in a blur of tears and suffered a miscarriage in the middle of the breakup. (For a woman, praying for a family it was shocking and painful.) Looking back I see how God was whispering for me to trust Him and His timing.
My husband was the first man who didn't try to control me. He’s excited if I tell him I'm going to write a children's book, or a screenplay, or launch a podcast. (Or whatever I've dreamt up this week.) He's my number one supporter and fan. I'm his too. But now, I'm determined to become my own biggest cheerleader. I've started writing articles and sharing them. I revived a blog site and started the process of pitching a picture book manuscript to agents. I am embracing the process and loving the excitement of not knowing WHEN everything will come together.
There's no choice between my family AND success. The world is big enough and bright enough for me to celebrate both. I'm finally standing up—Guys, I’m back in line at the buffet table and I’m going straight for the chocolate chip cookies. Life really is sweet.
A little ditty about courage and motherhood…
There is nobody more courageous than a mother. We’re asked to let go from our baby’s first breath. I remember holding my tummy and missing the baby inside hours after giving birth. Pregnant no more. We feed twelve times a day and get used to watching our angels sleep in our arms. Then seemingly out of nowhere they’re too heavy to hold. It’s time to roll over. It’s time to stack and clap and laugh out loud. Then we get lulled into thinking this is how life will be. An ear infection hits. We lose sleep. Teeth break through. Weeks crawl then so do our babies. We lose time letting go of our ideas of what motherhood would be like. We adjust to what it’s really like. We let go of everything we can no longer juggle. We let go of our expectations. We become things we never thought we would. We become ourselves. We become just like our mothers. We become courageous as we watch our loves teeter on their own feet for the first time. Then we’re asked to say goodbye to a baby and greet a toddler with birthday cake and balloons.
More change. We’re asked to let go of their hands when they want to play at the park with friends. We’re asked to let go of picking out their clothes when they decide what to wear. We’re asked to change the radio when they don’t like a song anymore. We’re asked to let go of who we were and who we thought they should be. We’re asked to let go of knowing what will happen. We’re asked to reckon with our own limitations. We can’t always protect them. We try. We pray. We let go a little more. We’re asked to let go of everything we once believed about parenting. We thought we’d never…fill in the blank. We’re asked to say goodbye to the idea of love. We’re asked to truly and courageously pour love from and beyond ourselves.
This is the gift and challenge of motherhood— it’s an unraveling of the soul. We’re tethered to change. It’s like folding laundry with kids. They’re always playfully pulling us apart, unfolding the tidy ideas we hold of ourselves, tugging at our bound up emotions. We wrestle with fear, anger and annoyance. We practice patience. We practice gratitude. Kids teach us pure presence. We play again. We let go of our need to be perfect. We let go of just knowing—we start living. We read more. We learn more. We follow thought leaders like Dr. Brené Brown and Dr. Shefali Tsabary. We tackle our limiting beliefs. We pray. We let go a little more. We’re asked to let go of the cruelty we once reserved for ourselves. We’re someone’s mother. We practice compassion. We’re expected to explore our own dreams so we don’t shove them onto our children.
We become, again and again. We let go of the idea that we’ll never be scared. We’re scared at least twice a day when we look into their lovely little eyes. God please keep them safe. We’re scared when we turn off the lights. Did we teach them enough? Did we hold them enough? Do they know how much we love them? Did we scold too harshly? Did we enjoy it all? Did we savor the time? We breathe. Tomorrow’s another day of letting go.
Essay by: Camaron Brooks
Wasn't that awesome?! The first time I read it, I was shaking my head up and down mumbling, Yes, yes, yes.
I know you already love Camaron as much as I do! Here's how you can keep up with her.
Facebook / Instagram / Reporting Live From Studio B
And don't forget to pick up a copy of her book here!
Hi friend!
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!
Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!
