Catia Holm 10/19/17 Catia Holm 10/19/17

The Courage to Become | Ginger King Birnbaum

This is going to sound ridiculously oversimplified, but I just want to make things better. There is a childlike wonder in that-it comes off in an idyllic sense. But there really is no other way to put it. I have, and have always had, an inner drive to make things better.

I have always been drawn to the greater good. In fact, the thing that scares me the most is that I would leave this Earth without making a difference. Some people have a bucket list full of grand adventures, but mine is mostly full of making a difference and leading others to do the same.

When my second child, King, was born we found out that he would be living with cystic fibrosis, a chronic progressive disease that can lead to respiratory failure. You can only imagine that for a person who just wants to make things better it was deeply devastating, at first.

Even with my first child, Emma Virginia, who was born perfectly healthy, I had fallen into a deep postpartum depression. Just in case you need a visual: me, a glider, a large box of graham crackers, and one very nervous husband + a (beautiful, precious, amazing;) crying baby. My husband attempted to remove the box of graham crackers (perhaps to motivate me to leave the room!) and I cried, “please don’t take them-they’re all that I have.” We laugh about it now, but it was clear that I needed some real help to overcome my depression!

Fast forward 3 years, and I was very worried that I would wind up in the same place. It was like I had to stare myself down to move past the sadness of my child’s diagnosis.

I remember clearly finding a shift in my lens that clarified it all, and I do mean all. None of us knows what the next minute or day or year holds. My biggest fear was that I was going to lose my child, and I just couldn’t see past that. I came to realize that death is inevitable, after all. None of us will escape it, none of us will capture it, and we certainly won’t be invited to design it. If we live in an absolute, obsessive cycle of trying to control everything then we won’t be present for all the parts that constitute a life.

I will always be grateful that I was presented with the opportunity to understand that so early in life. The lesson came with plenty of heartbreak, but it also forced me to live my life in color. I also think, I hope, that it made me a better mother to both of my children.

Now, I already told you that I thrive on making things better.

Cystic Fibrosis is a disease that lives and breathes and changes at the knee of modern medicine. Drugs have been made available that change the disease at the cellular level! Over 50% of people living with CF are over the age of 18. That’s like out.of.this.world amazing! As I learned more about the advances in research the gloves came off, and I went to work. While I was fearful for my child, I also felt incredibly lucky that our family was being given this tremendous opportunity to plug into the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation community and make a difference.

Fundraising, advocating, event planning, hiking, walking, leading, sharing, crying, laughing, meeting, connecting…if you are picturing a roller coaster then you’ve read correctly! That’s what our family does to make a long-term difference…for all people living with CF.

Pills, feeding tubes, medications, machines, calories, crying, laughing, planning, hospitalizations, surgeries, doctor visits, researching…our own personal roller coaster. That’s what our family does to sustain King’s health.

For the longest time sustaining King’s health was the cycle that moved me day in and day out. It became my reality. I knew that if I kept him well, and worked furiously toward a cure at the same time, a positive parallel might well emerge. The fear and sadness that I experienced upon his diagnosis was becoming more of a distant memory.

What I was not prepared for was the threat of our access to affordable and adequate health care being terminated. Our family benefits from the Affordable Care Act since we purchase our insurance on the exchange. Through the ACA we pay a whopping $40,000 a year, unsubsidized. A deal it is not, but to go without insurance as a whole would be financially devastating and would be a roadblock to sustaining King’s health.

The more that I learned about the ACA and the health care industry in general, the more I committed myself to ensuring that all Americans have access to affordable and adequate health care. It is unconscionable to me that anyone would consider pulling at the very fabric of someone else’s life.

There is no federal budget important enough to send families into bankruptcy for purchasing life-saving medications. There is no federal budget important enough to cause a child to go without their parent because their family couldn’t afford chemotherapy. There is no federal budget important enough to cause those with a disability to go without benefits.

And so I set out to tell anyone and everyone that would listen about the importance of health care. Some lawmakers did not want to listen to me. Some friends misunderstood me.

Here’s the good news: Many friends understood me. Many others spoke out. Many lawmakers do listen.

Humanity is too important, too precious to ignore. As the mother of a child with a chronic illness it is my duty to shine a light on this issue. I won’t be enough though, and I know that.

Once again, faced with the potential darkness at the end of the road, I’ve learned a really important lesson. The more I try to shine my light, the more I come to love and appreciate those around me.

I take comfort in knowing that I have traversed some scary valleys before and come out on the other side to a life lived in full color. A smart woman taught me that lesson once.

Guys, I know you want to know more...because I did!! So I asked Ginger a few extra questions. Here's what she had to say.

What job did you have before advocacy?

So you know this isn't really a job for me, right? Nothing I do gets me paid. I'm 100% volunteer advocate, event planner, and fundraiser. You could say that I am a professional volunteer:) I think I will go back to work eventually, but the conundrum of child care + work has not made sense yet.

The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is not the only group I volunteer with. After Emma Virginia was born, I knew that I wanted to spend my time giving back to my community and connecting with my community. I had to give some of that "work" up once King was diagnosed and I knew I needed to focus mostly on CF.

Currently, I have leadership roles and do volunteer work with the Center for Mindful Living, Junior League of Chattanooga, Lookout Mountain School (PTA President this year because girrrrrl clearly I don't have enough going on:), and local and national roles with the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

CFF roles-Other than Advocacy, I am the local Board President, Chair of Three Blind Wines (local fundraiser), Founder of Kenneth King's Believers National Family Team, National Family Team Program Co-Chair, Great Strides Leadership Council Chair, and I just Co-Chaired the National Volunteer Leadership Conference (which was AWEsome!).

I really started focusing a lot on Advocacy because I had no choice + I enjoy it. For several years, I have joined a large group of CF Advocates for the CFF sponsored March on the Hill where we share our stories with Congress and Senate. With the repeal of the ACA I knew that I needed to be more involved year-round. Literally, if these bills go through I don't know what we will do for King.

What does a normal day look like?

A normal day in our house is anything but! King requires hours of respiratory therapy which include 3 inhaled medications and a vest that shakes him to get the mucus to loosen in his lungs. He also has to be hooked up to a feeding tube every night. It has become our normal, but it certainly colors the way that we go about our day. This year he and Emma Virginia are both at Lookout Mountain School in Kindergarten and third grade. It has definitely changed the flow of schedule with them being out of the house for so many hours. I have been spending a lot of time at the school since I am PTA President this year-it's been tons of fun! Some people say that they will never do things like that, but I always knew that I would want to give of my time in that capacity. It's so special to be a part of the school community.

And how did you get through PPD?

By the grace of God, a supportive family, the right medication, meditation and yoga, and sometimes I'm not sure that it really is over. I literally had to learn to breathe again after King was diagnosed. That sounds crazy, but it is 100% true. That is one of the main reasons that I agreed to join the Board at the Center for Mindful Living. It saved me in a lot of ways. Pausing sounds like it is such a simple thing to do, but it is not. I think the whole world could benefit from pausing and breathing and just slowing down in general. I go 90 miles a minute, but I also try hard to listen to my body and mind.

Oh my gosh. Isn't Ginger a force?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can contribute to Cystic Fibrosis or learn more here and you can jump on the support train for Kenneth, Ginger's son here on Facebook.

1-catia-hernandez-holm-tedx-speaker-author-the-courage-to-become-book-coach-confidence-joy-mom.jpg

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

2-catia-hernandez-holm-tedx-speaker-author-the-courage-to-become-boo.jpg

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

3-catia-hernandez-holm-tedx-speaker-author-the-courage-to-become-book-coach-confidence-joy-guide.jpg — Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

Catia Holm 9/4/17 Catia Holm 9/4/17

The Courage to Become | Dala Thomas McDevitt

“If you can’t tolerate critics, don’t do anything new or interesting” –Jeff Bezos.

I had done everything I was supposed to. Graduated high school with honors and got into the University of Texas at Austin. Responsibly worked throughout college and maintained a 3.8 GPA. Graduated in 4 years and got a job as a Labor & Delivery Nurse. Took out a lease on a Honda Civic, and began paying off the impressive student loan debt I had accrued in my pursuit of happiness. I hated Mondays and drank on Fridays, just like everyone else.

My life was cookie-cutter perfect on the outside, but inside there was an ever-present emotion of discontent and disconnect with “who” I was. Recently out of a bad relationship and living alone for the first time in my life, there was never a better time for a fresh start. With little idea about what was going to make me happier, I decided to eat healthier and workout, as these were seemingly the societal go-to’s to “feel better”. It’s always the small things that end up being the bravest and biggest steps to self-discovery.

When I cut out the crap food, I wasn’t so tired all the time. When I cut out the alcohol, I wasn’t so hungover each morning. When I started working out, it sparked a relationship with my body that wasn’t rooted in shame and self-consciousness. As my body healed, my mind was revitalized and suddenly filled with curiosity and creativity. Now willingly rising with the sun each morning, I increased my productive time by 30% and had to seek out new hobbies. Because health had been the catalyst to this awakening, I dove deeper into the subject.

Knowledge became my mentor, my body my subject, experimentation my best friend, and, interestingly, Instagram my medium of expression. I voraciously explored audiobooks, documentaries, articles, blogs, YouTube videos, anything that helped me learn more about the mind-body connection and how to enhance it. I shared my experiences through Instagram, becoming increasingly open and public about my journey, my trails, and my errors.

My acquisition of knowledge slowly engulfed previously unreachable beliefs of self-worth, self-love, mindfulness, meditation, revolutionary ideas of sexuality, and the overwhelming realization that love is most powerful of all.

I was happier, healthier, more confident, and more positive than I had ever been in my life, so you can imagine my surprise when I began receiving more negativity from others than ever before.

I was told that my new comfortability with my body was slutty, that my fervor for health was an eating disorder, that my positive rhetoric was a guised cry for help, that my aversion to alcohol and junk food was seeded in obsessive vanity, that my new lotus tattoo was impulsive and self-destructive, and my new hair cut my Britney Spears meltdown moment. It was remarkable to see how many were threatened by my campaign to like myself.

How am I supposed to keep doing what is making me happy if my loved ones are telling me I’m in desperate need of help? Don’t they know me better than anyone? Shouldn’t I listen to them? Aren’t they just trying to help me?? The alienation I felt was profound.

As I submitted to the dark loneliness I perceived to be inevitable, I was shocked to find the loneliness was more of welcoming adventure. I was content to be alone because I, for the first time, enjoyed the company. I was okay exploring my next steps without the consultations and opinions of others because I didn’t feel I needed their approval anymore.

What a revelation! My name is Dala Thomas: I like myself, I trust myself, and I have within me the courage to become the very best and most loving woman I can be.

I used social media and devoted myself to disseminating ideas of positive body image and self-love, to the creation of meal plans and workout programs to guide others in improving health, and to online coaching so that perhaps I could help other alienated women feel safe and supported.

I began to live differently, to dress differently, to carry myself differently and to speak of myself differently as the joy I felt impregnated all facets of my life. I was bursting with affection and inspiration, and knew that I was never hurting anyone else despite what problems some took up with my new lifestyle.

I had finally learned how to share my light with the world, and it was this light that found Sean and brought him to me.

Strangers on social media became my closest allies. They did not ever know the “before” Dala, only the one they saw in front of them and therefore had no inherent aversion to my transformation. The only difference between these humans and the ones originally in my life was that they did not have to endure or understand change.

As a year came and went, I saw friends and family re-enter my life when the danger they purported disintegrated to a faint illusion. I thought accepting them again after so long would be difficult, but there was now so much peace in my life that forgiveness was second nature.

The most challenging part of my journey was finding the courage to become something other than what my closest friends and family already knew me as. People will warn you not to embark on a new journey, but only because they cannot yet see your destination, and fear is the most powerful motivator of all. Your path may go against the grain of your peers, but that not does mean it is wrong. The road to self-discovery may at times be lonely, but it is better to know yourself than to know a hundred others. Act in love, and you will never be lost.

This self-realized, joyful, life-giving women is what I had to find the courage to become. The “what” is not important here; we all can and should become thousands of different things. Courage itself is the vital ingredient, giving life to your dreams and a blind eye to doubt. Muster the courage to get to know yourself, and you will find your “what”. Then share it with the world and realize the true potential of how beautiful you can be.

Dala is partnering with Kendra Scott on September 6th. Kendra Scott is giving back %20 of proceeds to Hospitals! I will be there, Dala will be there and so will other amazing women. We'd love to see you there!

Kendra Scott - September 6th - 6-8pm - South Congress Location - Austin, Texas

If you'd like to keep up with Dala, and why wouldn't you? She is seriously so uplifting and empowering - find her on Instagram or on her web site. Side note - I am a student of her Booty Program - and IT WORKS! (Not sponsored - just genuinely enthusiastic) :)

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 8/21/17 Catia Holm 8/21/17

The Courage to Become | Debra Giunta

The Courage to Become Patient

Earlier this spring I couldn’t get out of bed. I opened my eyes and squinted into a sunny, open window. I breathed into a summer breeze I’d spent a cold, grey, stagnant, Chicago winter craving. For a moment I was struck with the memories of spending evenings not so long ago positioning my body under a pile of blankets until I’d begin to sweat, close my eyes, and breathe deeply, imagining summer heat on my face and the smell of blooming flowers. But on this day, I pushed my body closer to the bottom edge of the bed, covered my face in blankets and shut out the breeze I’d spent what felt like a lifetime waiting for.

There was no tragedy. No dark mourning crippling me. “Go!” I could hear my best self trying, “Be outside with no coat on! Listen to pop music with the windows down!” Instead I curled myself smaller and smaller until my fetal position self was scrunched as far as possible from the top of sheets, my entryway into the rest of whatever my day would bring. I spent 40 more minutes facing off with my iPhone - silencing a snoozed alarm and shoving it further beneath the pillows as morning emails and text messages vibrated.

“Business ladies don’t do this,” I thought. They push through. Or rather, they don’t end up here. They’re thoughtful and strategic. They plan and they wait. But me, I’m messy. Most often it feels my ideas, motivation, strategy, and rationale live tangled up in a pile. I’m always subconsciously applying for a new job at my own company, Design Dance. I started a business partly because I wanted freedom to live autonomously, to explore new ideas, job titles, versions of myself. Entrepreneurship allows me to stretch every part of me as far as it will go, constantly striving for the most expandable version of myself.

And when that’s your goal, it’s sometimes hard to determine the intersection of exploration, growth, expectations, and capacity. I am not, nor have I ever been, a woman of boundaries.

My eyes are still closed and I begin to think about the last 9 months of my business. We’ve traveled, we’ve built things, we’ve collaborated. We’ve cried, and shared and felt vulnerable with each other. Today is not particularly special, but for whatever reason it is the day I’ve realized that it’s all been too much.

In 9 months, along with my team, I’ve prepared and presented a TEDx talk, hired two staff members, executed a multi-city tour, worked to co-launch a non-profit side project, attempted to launch a storytelling series, built the start of an online product, launched a Kickstarter campaign, an event series, a personal blog, and a podcast.

In a nearly comical display of a lack of boundaries, I even volunteered my time to host someone else’s event series in my city. Each project, an expression of my very real excitement - a version of myself stretching and learning. How did it lead here - the place where getting out of bed feels impossible?

With some of our team and some of the students we teach through Design Dance.

On my best days, one could call my relationship to work “ambitious” or “energetic.” Often in retrospect, it feels “frenetic” or “irrational”. Because when ambitious ideas intersect with tighter than realistic deadlines, the excitement that used to fill them begins to drain.

On days like today, when the world seems to be asking for updates on my many started projects, I know that I’ve fallen once again into the trap of approaching projects at the speed of an invisible race I’m running with the rest of the world. A race where the finish line keeps extending at the rate of new ideas I’d like to explore until the only way you can feel about anything is “behind.”

The best thing about being your own boss is that there is no one to tell you what to work on. The terrifying thing about being your own boss is that there is no one to tell you what to work on. The amount you’re able to accomplish feels like it’s only limited to the amount of ideas you’re willing to execute. And so quickly the weight of the commitments you’ve built for yourself creeps up on you and seemingly overnight, the top of the sheets becomes an entryway into a to-do-list-prison you’ve built for yourself.

I arrived to work that day at 10am with the help of my boyfriend, my cat, and a cup of very strong homemade coffee. I struggled to normalize myself through meetings with my staff, grappling with the strong dissonance between my fetal position bed self and my business owner self. At lunch I sat at my desk and opened a word document.

What do you need? I wrote at the top.

Inside, I knew what I needed to write but it took me 20 whole minutes to write it.

I need to stop, I finally wrote.

I didn’t need to stop running a business or having ideas or being energetic, but doing everything at once was killing me.

When I attempt to come to terms with why I live in this cycle, and why it feels like I always have it’s the same reason I struggle to save money, why I always need to eat my snacks in the car on the way home from the grocery store, or why I can’t watch a long movie. I’m impatient. The concept of patience is a difficult one for me.

At it’s core, it asks that I feel excited about a vision, but then wait indefinitely to see it come to life. It asks that I hold onto something valuable, wait, enjoy the process. In some ways, patience asks that I risk the things I hold most dear to me; What if I lose the magic of an early stage idea? What if the excitement my teammates have fades over time? What if after a while, I realize this idea is no good and then I’ll have wasted time? What if it turns out I’m wrong?

Acting quickly allows me to leverage my excitement, but my speed also means that my surroundings blur together and I lose the value of learning from the process, the joy of the execution itself, and the ability to create work I’m truly proud of.

It’s been a few months since I’ve struggled to get out of bed. And from the outside I probably appear exactly the same, but I know that I’m practicing something new. For the first time, I’m answering questions with “not right now” or “I’m working on it” or “I’ve decided to take a break from that.” And while allowing myself to let go of the hold I once had on my ideas is scary, it’s also one of the most empowering experiences I’ve ever had. Having patience to get to the finish line means you leave space to connect with who and what you want right now. It means you’re enough because you’re “doing work you’re proud of,” not because you’re “doing so much”.

Patience brings you back to the day to day reason you’re working at all.

Somewhere in the pile of things you planned to do is the reason you started in the first place.

This piece from Debra hit home for me, BIG TIME!

For more gems and to keep up with Debra and her amazing work - check her out on her web site and on Instagram.

To bring Debra Giunta to your school or program - contact her here. You'll be so glad you did!

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 2/6/17 Catia Holm 2/6/17

The Courage to Become | Carrie Maddux

Becoming A Mom

I always wanted to be a mom. I have often said that I felt my calling in life was to be a mom. I did not know how else to explain it.

In 2012, we welcomed our first baby girl. Although words couldn't describe my happiness, I was also plagued with postpartum blues, exhaustion, and adjusting to our new normal. Seriously, where are the parenting classes that teach you real life scenarios?

Once I settled into my new role as a stay at home mom, I realized it can be a bit isolating. There I was with everything I could possibly want. It was perfect on paper. Stay at home mom, loving husband, a healthy & beautiful newborn, but I felt alone on most days. So, I began to search for ways to get involved and have adult interaction.

Becoming an Austin Moms Blog Contributor

I quickly became a huge fan of Austin Moms Blog and followed their blogs from day one. I admired those women for being raw and sharing their real life mom moments. I noticed an open contributor call on Facebook one day and decided to apply for it. I always found writing to be very cathartic and thought this would be the perfect opportunity to do something for myself. Fortunately, they invited me to be a contributor and I had no clue how it would impact my life. Writing gave me a purpose and I quickly gained a new “village” of women to call my friends.We welcomed our second baby girl in 2014 and I did not experience any of the postpartum blues or isolation like I did the first time. Having a purpose and a village truly makes a difference!

Becoming My Stronger Self

In early 2016, my husband went through a transition with his job and it pushed us close to rock bottom. I can say with every ounce of my being that our love for one another is unbreakable after going through that obstacle together. We both admitted that going through a tough transition and losing your main source of income can create a lot of stress on a marriage and your family unit. Money doesn’t make you happy, but it definitely makes life easier. We learned to lean on each other and our faith.

Even when times get tough, you still have to show up and be a parent. You still have to pretend like everything is okay because my two and four year old need me. Life lessons have a way of knocking you to your knees and allowing you to stand up stronger than ever before. I did not let many people know about our situation. I am the usual smile and say everything is good type person; however, I remained sane thanks to my village.

See the common theme here?

My friends will tell you that I kept begging for a sign. I needed God to plant that sign in my front yard in big bold letters. “Let Go and Let God” was my motto. In June 2016, we relocated to Oklahoma for a job opportunity. I cried many nights about losing my village and starting over again. It wasn't just my husband and myself starting over. We now had two young girls that were going through this with us, however; it was the “sign” and fresh start we prayed over. We survived a big move with two toddlers and settled into our new home.

Like I mentioned above, I always said my calling had something to do with being a mom, but I did not know why. I began searching for a local blog similar to Austin Moms Blog, but could not find anything.

I so desperately wanted to find a resource in our new city, but kept coming up short. That is when I decided to purchase and start Tulsa Moms Blog. I have been known to be impulsive at times, but this was taking a huge leap out of my comfort zone. Writing behind a computer is one thing, but owning my OWN business? It was exhilarating and nerve racking at the same time.

Starting Tulsa Moms Blog allowed me to connect moms on and offline in our community and provide a positive resource for moms in all stages of life. I was getting ready to launch the blog and we got some bad news about my husband’s new job. Yes, we relocated our entire family for this job. I’ll spare you all of the details, but Tulsa turned into one big disaster. We lost our main source of income AGAIN, we made an investment into my new venture, and barely moved into our new home. We decided we had nothing to lose at this point and my husband applied for his dream job in Waco, TX.

Waco has always been near and dear to our hearts, so it wasn’t as spontaneous as it might come across. After a month, we decided to write it off and focus our attention to more local jobs. Then, on a random Thursday afternoon he got the call. They wanted him to come in and apply for the position. We finally had a glimmer of hope and words cannot express our happiness when they hired him!

I put Tulsa Moms Blog on hold and we relocated to Waco last month.

Since moving to Waco, God has clearly planted all of the signs here. That large sign in big bold letter that I was praying for is planted here. I have never been tested this much to rely on the cliche phrase “God will always provide”, but he does indeed.

Mamas let me tell you, having your spouse or partner truly HAPPY with his career is life changing in itself.

While Tulsa Moms Blog did not ever come to fruition, be on the lookout for Waco Moms Blog.

I am proud to be a part of City Moms Blog Network and passionate about connecting local moms together.

At the end of the day, you cannot teach adaptability and my girls showed me tremendous grace this past year. They pushed me to be a stronger version of myself and accept challenges head on. I look back on my younger self who once felt like an isolated new mom and cannot help but laugh. Although that is how I felt at the time, I had no idea the wild ride I would be on years later. Everything truly happens for a reason.

Cheers to 2017!

Essay by: Carrie Maddux

You can connect with Carrie on Instagram , Facebook and at Waco Moms Blog

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

2-catia-hernandez-holm-tedx-speaker-author-the-courage-to-become-book-coach-confidence-joy-mom.jpg

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Catia Holm 12/12/16 Catia Holm 12/12/16

The Courage to Become | Erin Ruoff

Tell us a little bit about yourself:

I'm Erin and I came to Austin at almost 6 years ago to get out of the little bubble I was living in. I needed some “weird” in my life and boy, does Austin dish it out. Within five years here I years got hitched, moved to the burbs and had a baby. A quick 5 years! I'm a mom and agency owner by day and a blogger by night. My day normally consists of a Starbucks caramel macchiato, chasing the little chunk around the house, managing to help run an advertising agency and manage a household, followed by some home-cooked food, and then finishing off the day with the Bachelorette, netflix or a movie.

My blog Hi Lovely is a place to share outfits, babies, treats and travels. Focused on photography, fashion and greater well-being of this new mama's life. You'll find me easily seduced by a lovely cup of coffee, a well designed hand bag or a margarita. I might be covered in baby poop one day and diamonds the next. Thus the life of a mom who blogs.

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?

I’ve always dreamt of having a boutique or successful fashion blog. I yearned over the gorgeous photos of Blair Eadie and A Beautiful Mess. I would spend my breaks running a boutique (for an awful company) and just longed to have a blog like theirs – so full of life and fun. Thankfully my husband helped me pick a name, bought the domain and I started by taking pictures outside work. Nothing fancy but it felt right!

How did it feel getting started?

It was scary. I lost my job a month or so after I started the blog. I got fired, y’all. And I was scared. Scared of what I was going to tell my parents. Scared of what my husband would say. Being laid off for giving my mom a “friends and family discount.” A discount that was sewn into the company culture. I was devastated. I sat on the ground of our rental and “let go and let God.” I prayed for answers, guidance and strength. That day my husband offered me a piece of the advertising agency he owned and I got off the floor and started blogging.

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started blogging?

Lots of obstacles: time management, maintaining a regular posting schedule, taking quality pictures, etc. etc. But the biggest thing was self esteem. I worried so much about what others would think of me posting photos of myself. I’m no model nor to I pretend to be and I didn’t want people to think that’s what I was doing. I really just love playing dress up and putting together outfits. I had to get over that and it took a while. I love who I am and the outfits I put on. I hope that my “friends” see that and those that don’t can unfollow me.

What motivates you to be a life and style blogger?

My blogger friends in the mommy and style business are so motivating. They just show that the industry of fashion is changing from fashion shows and glorious magazine ads to fashion bloggers of all shapes and sizes. They radiate happiness, yet are so real and are able to blog full time. It’s an amazing feeling to get your first big client that sees who you are and wants you to showcase their brand. I know God had plans for me to do something creative and I think this is it.

Which living person do you most admire?

My dad. He’s had hard times and worked his life to the top of the newspaper business only to be laid off due to the demise of the industry. He got back up at 50 and got a great job. Though it might not be his passion, he persevered and didn’t let the age statistics of unemployment get him down. He’s the greatest grandfather to my son. Though we don’t see eye to eye on politics, we still are able to have rational conversations and I love that about him. He also taught me to love sports, writing and photography. It pretty much runs in our blood.

Which talent would you most like to have?

Singing. I’m terrible. And the natural ability to talk on camera. I get this weird girly, high-pitched voice when the red light comes on. I don’t know how to stop….

What is your most marked characteristic?

I’m a very loyal friend. Once you have me in your tribe, I’m a lifer.

What is your motto?

Let go and Let God. And my funny one “Hi Lovely!” (You automatically smile saying it.)

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

Being a Social Media Director of a million dollar ad agency, running social media for Austin’s largest parenting resource and getting off my feet when I hit rock bottom to accomplish those two things.

What are some hopes you have for your future?

I’d love to make an honest living from blogging. Although our agency is our main income, it’d be nice to have a second income so we can tuck a little more away and start really contributing to charities around town.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

“Let go and let God” guide you to your blogging journey. Don’t let self-esteem, nay-sayers or competitors get you down. Trust in Him to see the value in YOU and what YOU are doing. Don’t be afraid to “pitch” a companyeven if you have small numbers. Do spend time growing your audience and engaging with your followers. And don’t EVER let it be chore! Have fun.

Essay by: Erin Ruoff

It seems like BECOMING the woman you were meant to be isn't easy for anyone! Each one of our roads has speed bumps and turns and sometimes outright blocks! But as Erin showed us, it's possible to get up and RISE.

Thanks, Erin!!!

You can find Erin at Hi Lovely and on Instagram and Facebook.

love!

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

Catia Holm 12/5/16 Catia Holm 12/5/16

The Courage to Become | Chrystie Vachon

Hi, I’m Chrystie

Married. Tattooed. Margarita Lover. Blogging Entrepreneur. Mom of 3.

I’ve spent the last 10 years making a living off the internet by starting and selling blogs. In total, I’ve sold 4 blogs and earned hundreds of thousands of dollars throughout the years as a result. I’ve blogged about celebrities, coupons, mason jar recipes, subscription boxes and many other topics…basically..I’m an equal opportunity blogger! I blog about what I love and I blog about what makes me money.

Writing this piece has really allowed me to see just how far I have come in my professional life and in my personal life.

I suppose my story begins at 4:00am on a typical work day in 2009. My two children are sleeping across the room from mine. My husband is in bed next to me and the weather outside is frosty. My alarm clock sounds, I check Twitter and Facebook by the light of my phone. I get up, get dressed, grab a cup of coffee and drive 30 minutes to the train station to catch the 5:45 am train into Boston to go to my start-up job. I was the Social Media Strategist for an up and coming mobile app and I loved it.

I’d bounce off the train at 8:15am (yes that’s almost 3 hours one way) and get back on the train at 5:45 to arrive home at 8:15pm. Several nights a week I didn’t even make it home before 10:00pm because I would attend networking events to further my career and my place in my field. On the nights I did make it home, my children would be in bed already and my husband would be watching TV. I’d sit down on the opposite sofa and open up my computer and continue to work until midnight.

If I’m being honest, at the time, I didn’t see anything wrong with that lifestyle. I didn’t see anything wrong with working so much. As a matter of fact it made me feel important and needed. My mother worked a lot when I was a child, carrying at least 2 jobs at a time. It’s all I ever knew.

It wasn’t until my marriage dissolved that I realized the toll that my career driven lifestyle had taken on my life. All of a sudden I was a 32 year old divorced single mom who had missed the last several years of her children’s life in exchange for an impressive resume. But a resume wasn’t going to piece my family back together.

Truth be told…I never felt ‘good’ at motherhood. I never was the mushy gushy kind of mom that all of my friends were. I didn’t yearn to be home with my children. That didn’t come naturally to me. What did come naturally was being an employee. Being a star employee who got raises and praise. I was the type of person who needed that type of encouragement. And as most moms know…you don’t get that encouragement when you are staying home. You get screaming children. Messy living rooms and mountains of laundry. It’s hard and work was my escape.

Shortly after my divorce, I left my job in Boston. Commuting 3 hours each way just wasn’t an option anymore. It wasn’t good for my new family dynamic. And so instead, I started a small consulting business and worked with clients until I started a blog, which as luck would have it, allowed me to make a full time salary while staying home. For the first time in my life, I was able to drop my kids off at school, and be there when they got off the bus. Take time out of my day to attend school plays and pick them up from school when they were sick. I got to make up for all those times when I couldn’t do those things.

The courage to become the mother I always wanted to be meant redefining my definition of success. I no longer needed a boss to tell me I was great.

I no longer needed a high paying salary to tell me I was worth it.

Now my definition of success is being able to live life on my terms and give my children my most valuable asset, time.

The Courage to Become | Ginna Mares Villarreal

The Courage to Trust the Final Outcome

Hello All! I want to start off by thanking my sweet friend Catia for letting me be a part of her blog! I remember meeting her for the first time at my salon a while back and when she left I just sat there telling my stylist, she has to be one of the most genuine kind-hearted people I know, but by reading her blog I’m sure you already know that! I love meeting people that leave me with a smile.

My name is Ginna Villarreal and I am a blogger, wardrobe stylist, owner of The Dry Room salon, By Maxwell luxury boutique, owner of a social media company as well as a property tax business but most of all a wife and mother to two crazy little toddlers!

It’s not every day that I type out what I do because just thinking about it is exhausting and I just “do what I gotta do” day in and day out without thinking of the madness! I must get that from my mama.

I was raised in a single-parent home and I saw my mom hustle and grind relentlessly every single day to provide for my brother and I. She was a teacher in my early childhood days and around junior high she would get up and work all day and do night school while getting her Master’s degree.

I remember my brother dividing up the house chores in the evening while my mom went to school. He would say “you make the sandwiches and I’ll do the mac n’ cheese,” we didn’t want her worrying about us.

Later on she went on to get her PhD and we look back at those times and I can’t ever remember her complaining or stressing. She just did her thing.

I could use a little more of her patience, but she sure did show me what it was to get things done.

One thing I was afraid of doing but did anyway was….

One thing I was afraid of doing before owning The Dry Room & By Maxwell was trusting the process of a bigger plan.

All my life I have been a God fearing woman and I knew that I was destined for something….I couldn’t put my finger on it but I knew God had something in store for me that not even I would be prepared for.

After getting married & opening up one of my first businesses I remember thinking “there has got to be more than this”. This business is great, I have amazing clients but I’m missing something. Something isn’t feeding my soul.

An opportunity opened up at our local Boys & Girls Club and I told my husband, it doesn’t pay much, I’m not doing it for the money I’m doing it because I believe there’s a child or two whose life I may touch and I’m applying!

I worked at the Boys & Girls Club for two years and it was one of the most rewarding jobs I have ever had. I mentored our staff, and spoke to our kids about goals and hard work and achieving them. I let them know that they didn’t have to be a statistic, and that they didn’t have to be a victim of their circumstance.

After all, I knew what it was like to come from a single family home and have a father incarcerated. (By the way, I’m not quite sure people are aware of how many children’s parents are in the jail system in the RGV! It’s mind blowing, but we will save that for another day as my eyes get cloudy and a lump forms in my throat.)

After some time passed a Director position opened up. My getting the job was a given. I was next in line, I had done so much for the club, I along with our staff had just done an entire revamp of the club, and I couldn’t wait to get that call.

Well, the call never came.

I cried, I cried and cried. How could this happen!? It’s so strange that as I type this it feels like it was just yesterday, the pain was literally that bad. It was my husband who reminded me “Aren’t you the one who always says God is always working behind the scenes in your life. You did everything in your power and left that place better than you found it, maybe it’s time to move on.”

So I did. I moved on with a broken heart but like they always say, time helped me heal.

During my healing process, I immersed myself into my fashion blog. My Instagram and social media channels began to grow and companies started to take notice. I knew I was onto something when everyday was like Christmas. Packages of bows, blankets, dolls and clothing for Mia (our oldest daughter) and me were stuffed in our mailbox. Mia was one of the first little toddlers that the Kardashians sent clothing to -- and that was a total trip!

Later, local businesses began to contact me to handle their social media accounts and the business woman in me decided to take on clients! While doing so, I was still trying to find my next venture. What to do? I have always enjoyed making my own schedule, so I knew I would have to open another business to keep the freedom I loved so much!

I have always had a big-city mentality and loved big-city concepts so I told my husband I wanted to open a blow-dry bar and a boutique together. Blow dry bars were a hit in New York and Los Angeles and the good ‘ol Rio Grande Valley (The south most point in Texas) had not jumped on it yet! We went looking at locations, I was obsessed with the historic area of McAllen and Main Street. (Think historic buildings, paved sidewalks and quaint parks.) Finally, I found a corner location with a retro vibe feel, it was PERFECTION.

Lo and behold in the middle of getting a business plan together for my husband to take a look at, I get THAT call. My friend wanted me to help her with her public relations and social media for her new business, you guessed it…a blow dry bar…guess where?! YUP, in the exact same location 200 N. Main Street. It was bitter sweet.

She was an old childhood friend and I was more than happy to help her and her business partner out. I gave her advice, helped her some and we became closer than ever. So – no blow dry bar for me.

At the end of the next year that included a lot of prayer, she asked me to become a partner in her blow-dry bar business!

It was in THAT moment, I learned to trust the process.

God shut one door and gave me the desires of my heart. It was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced.

We just rounded out our 3rd year of business, and this September, The Dry Room was voted McAllen’s Top 5 Businesses and exactly a month later, I opened up a luxury boutique with my husband and dear friends Cindy and Derek.

Since then, I have never questioned why things are they way they are or why they go down the way they do.

If I could give any advice to anyone who feels like they have had a door shut in their face, or have been told no – it would be – dream big, work really hard, pray even harder, and believe… the most beautiful things are in store.

______________________________________________________________________________

Essay by: Ginna Mares Villarreal

Guys, Ginna seriously is the hardest working lady in show biz!!

If you live in the RGV, make sure to visit her at The Dry Room and at By Maxwell.

And if you'd like to see Ginna and follow her fun life - check out her fashion blog at Ginna Villareal.

______________________________________________________________________________

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 11/8/16 Catia Holm 11/8/16

The Courage to Become | Laura Morsman-Churchill

The Courage to Become a Business Owner + Enjoy it

Hey there! My name is Laura Morsman-Churchill, I created Laura Morsman Photography, my destination editorial photography company -- in 2013 when I first moved to Austin by total accident after years of working as a manager for Anthropologie! I am originally from Kansas City live in Austin, Texas with my music teacher husband John, and our two pups, Mr. Hitchens and Muffy!

Being the 2nd oldest child of 6 in my family, (with the youngest two currently 10 years old) many of my clients ask me how I can keep my calm in the middle of the chaos of working with so many people, and I always refer back to the incredibly beautiful circus living in a big family does to a person. You just go with the flow ;)

One thing I was afraid of doing but did anyway was….

Definitely starting my own business, but up until it happened, I had no idea that it was what I wanted to be doing!! I never had dreams of being an entrepreneur or a business owner. I went to college to become a child psychologist and art therapist, and left my senior year after a traumatic life event two semesters away from graduating. I honestly had no goal to be a photographer, and no clear direction with a career path. When people started asking me if I would photograph their families (after they saw me photograph my own big family), I just never said no, and now I'm here! It was definitely/honestly was a case of "fake it till you make it".

Getting started felt…

Absolutely crazy. I had been so conditioned to working a 40+ hour week, managing a team, setting monetary sales goal, with a bi-monthly paycheck and health insurance. When it came to the point where I grew to have each of my weekends taken up by photo shoots, my husband was absolutely the one responsible for pushing me past my comfort zone and finally stepping down as manager, to a part time employee, and finally taking my leave after almost 5 years with a company I truly loved.

My business wouldn't exist without that terrifying leap and definitely wouldn't have happened if my husband hadn't had been there to push me off the ledge of self-doubt.

Obstacles I faced getting started…

Oh man. Where to start. When I first started my photography business, I don't want to say that I didn't have confidence, I feel like that was one thing I did have because I didn't intend to be a photographer at all! With that, if I ever did get a push back or even just a question from a potential client about my prices, ideas, location options, I shrank on the inside.

Learning how to stand by what I was offering was one of the hardest details for me but once I got it, and knew that what I was offering was valuable, that was such a great area of growth that shifted my entire business. Dividing my actual worth and my business has been an incredibly hard but extremely powerful journey for me.

I am motivated by…

My love for people motivates me to keep photographing them. Knowing the intricacy and quickness of life keeps my mind desiring to document it as much as I can.

The most pivotal moment in my life to date was my closest friend suddenly passing away when I was 18. I had taken a photo of him hours before he was killed, and realizing how important that moment caught in time was to me, I think of how people view their loved ones, and I want to capture every ounce of spirit in my clients lives that I can.

We aren't promised anything in life, but we get into grooves where it feels as if we will have all that is around us forever. I do my best to document this world through the eyes of loving it so much, and then I give that viewpoint back to my clients. I love it so so much.

The living person I admire most is…

Without a doubt, it's Ellen DeGeneres. Despite the adversity she found herself in at the very start of her career, she persevered through the doubt and absolute judgement people put up against her best efforts and showed the world how to love, smile, and laugh, even amidst people's small mindedness or life's pains. Look at that shining, loving light of a person now and how many lives she has changed. She was always Ellen, and she knew that 100% without anyone's acceptance. It just took the world years to realize how much she had to share.

I would most like to have the talent to…

I would love to have the opposite of stage fright when it comes to singing!! My mom was an opera singer, and taught me the craft! I absolutely love LOVE singing... and in a former or future life, that would be what I'd be doing! One of these days you'll find me on a stage or at an outdoor venue singing a tune or two ;)

My most marked characteristic is…

I have been told often that I am very tolerant/patient. That totally makes me laugh though! I definitely go back to the whole large family bit. You can't be impatient when 5 people need dinner, want to play outside, are missing a shoe, trying to ride the dog like a horse, or need their seat belt buckled!

A motto I try to live by is…

As simple as it is, it's "Live and let live". In our life we always seem to wait for others to accept the way/path/route we've chosen before we accept it as OK for ourselves. Especially in a world where our lives are encouraged to be documented in portfolio form through social media and shown to the entire world essentially awaiting their approval. You do you and I'll do me, and let's just love each other through understanding, or if there isn't that, through acceptance and respect.

Some things I am proud to have accomplished are…

Hmm... That's hard to have an answer to! For me, my biggest accomplishments in my mind were emotional rather than career focused. My high school and college years were my toughest and some I almost didn't make it through. Accepting the recovery path after almost losing my life to anorexia and deciding to live past the pain in losing friends at an early age to me were things I never thought I could endure. I am still in awe of being on this side of those seasons and am more thankful than ever to be able to relate and walk with those going through the same experiences.

Some hopes I have for my future are…

I don't really know! It takes a lot for me to stay in the present. I love where I am, and if I could do this forever, I would! I am so happy with where this hustle has gotten me, I love my life. At this point, I get to travel to see my family, experience my youngest siblings growing up, and things keep getting better. I would love to photograph families, wedding and fashion all around the world. And I'm doing that! My hope for the future would be continued opportunities and continual expansion of where my photography finds itself!

One piece of advice I would give women about to embark on this journey is…

I talk about this all the time when people are approaching photography as a business, a blog, anything. You can't go into it with others’ opinions or acceptances being your compass or scale of your value or success. You go into something like this accepting success or failure with the same open arms, and also realizing that this isn't your only skill, your only value, or your only purpose. Someone asked me on a podcast interview if I had a plan B, and if I did, then I wasn't a real photographer. My answer was that if I didn't have a plan B, then I was shortchanging myself on my own abilities, because I am so much more than a photographer and if I needed to, I would totally dive into anything else I love doing!

The second part to this is the most important to me -- It's loving others and embracing their success despite your own. Your business shouldn't adjust your heart towards others, and if anything, it should stretch it. As hard as it is, try to nix competition and embrace encouragement.

If you tend to compare, put yourself down, and lose your steam when you are watching other's success -- don't watch others. If you find yourself feeling like a failure when you see others on Instagram seemingly soaring with their pursuits and business, do yourself a favor and shut that app OFF!

You do you, no one else can take that uniqueness away from you! Soon enough you'll see that your own ideas and the way you approach, brand, document your work will have its own personality since it isn't being squelched or influenced by people walking their own unique paths!

Essay by: Laura Morsman-Churchil

I am honored to know Laura, she is a gem of a person. Right?! Can't you just feel her peace. I think it's so powerful.

Run don't walk to Laura! You'll be glad you did!!!! She's based in Austin, but travels the country! Maybe she'll stop in your neck of the woods next!!

Laura Morsman Photography / Facebook / Instagram

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 11/1/16 Catia Holm 11/1/16

The Courage to Become | Sarah Donovan

The Courage to Face Anxiety + Help Women Rise

As a young girl, you could find me painting flowers or vintage VOGUE covers. I guess you could say that was the beginning of my career as an artist. And all along the way, my mom encouraged me to keep a paintbrush in my hand. Even though I tried my hand at other things, my heart always lead me back to painting.

I knew I loved art and design AND I have always had a desire to be with people and love people.

My parents were always caring for others and their family members so I have them to thank for this characteristic.

In 2006 I was blessed with the opportunity to share this love for people by visiting Uganda on a mission trip. My goal was to share love with Ugandans, but these beautiful people showed me a love that is truly indescribable.

During college, I went through a series of rough patches. I enjoyed partying and boys more than studying for a period of time. (Anybody else?) And after some questionable decisions, I came to the realization that I wasn't loving myself.

Shortly after this fun phase, I met my precious husband Andrew. And a year after graduating college (babies!), we were married.

I knew I loved Andrew when we got married, but through life's challenges, I have really gotten to know his loyalty – and I admire him the most. He is my rock, and literally the other half of me. I admire his ability to lead without being cocky, his kindness, and his love for myself and our son.

I struggled to find a job so I started teaching art at a local art school. While teaching, I took freelance creative jobs and began my stationery business, The Stationery Bakery.

At first I focused on wedding invitations and over the past few years the business had transformed and now I illustrate greeting cards, prints, and home + gift items.

But while that is my passion career wise, I also have an insane passion for loving my husband and kid.

After becoming a mom, and experiencing some personal hardships, I discovered my drive to support and love women.

Let’s rewind to 2014.

While I had a seemingly healthy pregnancy, I experienced anxiety around ultrasound appointments. And even after determining everything was fine, I turned into a beautiful anxious mess!

During the end of my pregnancy, I was convinced I was dying. And that anxiety ramped up after having George.

I was obsessed with this kid and was constantly worried something would happen to him or myself. And after a few long months of suffering the grips of anxiety, I got help from an amazing counselor in Austin, Brett Brightwell. I experienced a total identity crisis when becoming a mom!

(The identity crisis happens to most of us ;) , only I didn’t know that.) Thankfully, I was and have been able to work through the root causes of my anxiety.

In addition to counseling, it became clear that I was dealing with postpartum anxiety and OCD and so I got on medication under the guidance of Suzanne Grantham out of Austin.

When I started to feel some relief, I decided to break my silence and speak out about my experience. Speaking out was therapeutic and I met women who struggled with similar chaos. Then, I started to find a sense of community among other women.

Seeing the importance of community among women and the growing need for mental health support, I felt inspired to start a small support group. The group is called Moms Arising and the goal is to provide a safe environment that encourages women to rise up even in the midst of challenging times.

It's so hard to be a woman.

It's brutal to be a mom.

My hope is to continue to seek for answers within myself so that my confidence will encourage other women to do the same.

My anxiety is not cured, it is still a part of my life today. I still look over my shoulder from time to time waiting for a crippling panic attack. However, I have found relief in surrounding myself with a tribe that I love and trust. And my tribe is constantly evolving because of the unique people I meet each day.

In addition to my husband and my tribe, I have found a lot of healing in my faith and personal relationship with God. I used to think of God as this judging figure shaking his head at my poor decisions – but I have come to understand him as a loving father embracing me (entirely) in every moment.

We all go through scary times, but we can use those moments to reflect and meditate. Those times are what shape who we are and who we become.

Essay by: Sarah Donovan

I feel so lucky to have Sarah share her story with us! She worked through her fears AND had the wherewithal to take action and help other women! That is the definition of amazing and community and a strong woman. Wow!!!!

Stop by and say hi to Sarah and pick up some of her GORGEOUS ART WORK !

Instagram / Facebook / The Stationery Bakery -

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 10/18/16 Catia Holm 10/18/16

The Courage to Become | Elisa Botello

The Courage to: Get Divorced, Single Mom it, and STILL Chase After Your Dreams.

A week after I graduated college in May 2009, I took a trip to Amsterdam with my then boyfriend. We'd been dating since the Halloween before, and despite of how “all wrong” it was to everyone who knew us (including our own unconsciousness), I said yes when he dropped to one knee at a European café.

A short couple months later, we were PREGNANT.

And then – only 7 months after the baby was born, I left my husband.

You see, in the areas that I didn’t know him that well – I imagined him having Disney prince qualities. But that was all my hope and imagination, and they couldn’t have been more off.

He grew up in an affluent neighborhood in Austin and I grew up in a good ol' country-as-a-chicken-coop, small-East-Texas-football-obsessed-town. Our backgrounds were, but we still wanted a family. And despite how wrong we were for each other—in deal-breaking ways—our shared dream was to have the family he and I had always wanted as children but never had (as we both grew up in broken homes.)

Sadly, an idealistic family wasn't in the cards for us.

Yes, leaving my husband was the worst financial decision of my life. I'm still paying for debts we acquired. But it was THE BEST decision for me as a woman, because I immediately felt free and had the second chance to be the person I had always dreamed of being.

I was 24 and a single mom. And being a mother gave me the kick in the butt that nothing had come close to giving me. As soon as I was on my own I landed a job as a romance novel editor, and before my son reached his second birthday, I had written and published 3 novels. And now I have 7!

Seven years later, that time in my life seems like a blur. I never allowed myself a chance to stop, to think, to feel – I know now that I was lost in depression.

You know those “look at your memories” options on Facebook? A few weeks ago this memory from 7 years ago popped up.

Woke up at 5:30 to get ready for work and prepare the baby's diaper bag for daycare, then woke up a bouncing and excited Dre to get him dressed, sat in traffic so early in the morning that it was still dark, dropped off Dre (running to the door because my boss would skin my hide if I were late again), cried in the car because I won't see my baby until tomorrow afternoon since his dad has him tonight, sped to work to make it to my desk on time, worked till 5, changed into my Bone Daddy's waitress uniform in the car as I sat in traffic for another hour, served beer and burgers to an establishment full of hungry men, then just now walked in to my apartment at 1AM. When will this craziness ever end?!

Seven years later it brought me sadness that I couldn’t answer my 24 year old self with a relieving answer, and my heart broke when I realized, the craziness hadn't ended -- and it won't for some time. The life of a single mom is TOUGH.

But that's okay!

I left an unhealthy marriage, became a mother to the most amazing person to ever exist (no seriously, no “spirited” or “fiery” trait in his sweet, brave soul; the only fire that comes out in his vigilante nature is when he's standing up for anyone being bullied, a hero-complex he's had since he was 2), chased after my dream of being a writer when it seemed all odds were against me as a poor, overworked, and immature young mother, and I work my ass off every single day to keep striving.

Does 4 hours of sleep at night feel good? Hell no.

Does the fact that my multiple jobs often cause me to say no to the date invite from the guy I've been thinking about all week cause excitement? Not exactly.

And it sucks that I miss 99% of Girls Nights because my schedule is so intense that sometimes I use the restroom just to sit down.

On top of it, thinking about the endless moments and milestones I fail to witness within my only child's life causes muscle-ripping, violent, heartbreak.

BUT, at 31 - I am still finding the courage and strength chase my dream, (and now our dream since I’m part of a mother-son duo), and that feels damn good.

“The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?” —Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

Essay by: Elisa Botello

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 9/19/16 Catia Holm 9/19/16

The Courage to Become | Kim Pena

The “Courage to Become” is such an all-encompassing subject. When I first brainstormed this I thought of things I had “become.”

From a daughter-->friend-->educator-->wife-->mother-->strong woman the list was long but not super interesting. I reached out the Catia and she asked me a simple but powerful question, “What do you feel has been the most difficult for you? What were you most scared of?” I almost immediately responded but then I just sat back and really reflected for a few days because as an adult not much scares me, but that has by no means always been the case.

How did I go from a child who was scared of even speaking to a woman who not only finds strength in herself but works hard to surround herself with a village with other strong and amazing women?

On being young and scared

When I was young I was scared of everything. I don’t know if it was being the youngest child with an older brother who liked to pick on me or watching America’s Most Wanted (John Walsh gave me nightmares for years) but I was afraid of a lot. I grew up with a speech impediment and so I was always on guard. Over time I became not only scared of how I said things but of what I said. I spent my life trying to be who I thought people wanted me to be. I was most afraid of being myself.

I learned early on how to play a role. With friends and even with family I wasn’t fully me, I worked hard to be who I thought they needed or who they wanted me to be.

I learned pretty early on how to manipulate a false connection. I’m not proud, but it’s true. I let people see sides of me, maybe a dramatic side, maybe a loving side, maybe an intellectual side, maybe sometimes a mean side but never authentic me. I sat in fear that that they might figure me out and judge me or worse, hate me.

As a young woman I held my tongue and told myself that it was a good thing. That if I didn’t say certain things I was being strong and picking my battles – but really I was just holding myself in because I was scared.

I was scared of being wrong, scared of being judged, and sometimes even scared of being right.

The only person who I was completely myself around was my mother. I honestly wanted to meet and exceed any goals she had for me but not because I felt pressured. She was the source of love and strength for me. If I have any goals for myself as a mother it is to make my children feel as comfortable with me as I have always felt with her.

On growing up and finding authenticity

During my senior year of college I went to Austin to find a job.

I wanted to move and get clean break from everyone. I had lived by myself once in college (and even though it was a bad part of town and I almost froze to death) it was exhilarating and I couldn’t wait to do it again.

After I landed in Austin, I had coffee with a guy and I tried my basic first date formula, i.e. ask questions all about them, but it failed. He was the first person who saw through all my bullshit and asked me questions that really made me search for honest answers and then challenged me to defend my answers. So, I decided to try something radically different – I tried to be authentic. I spent time on my own and got to really know myself. And while not everyone was happy with the new me, I was able to form some of the most genuine friendships of my life.

Being authentic was definitely harder than I thought. There were still people in my life that I was terrified would judge me. There were people I loved -- and I really wanted to be who they wanted me to be – but it never quite worked. It is so difficult to reflect on whether the choices you have made are your own or someone else’s expectation of you. It is even harder to accept that the choices weren’t yours and aren’t something you wanted or are particularly happy with. The reality is that when you find courage to challenge the people in your life to get to know the authentic you, you can’t control the outcome.

I was heartbroken over some outcomes and relieved at others but either way my fear melted away and I emerged stronger.

On continuing to evolve

I have discovered the truth in the proverb that change is the only constant. In the last decade, everything about me has changed.

And as I grew so did my drive, my empathy, my capacity to love, and my self-will. I give as many chances as people need. I accept and still love those who don’t like me or still see me as the person I once was. I don’t judge, I embrace. I do everything I can to empower other women. I have friends who don’t agree with me on everything and yet we engage in respectful conversation and I adore them. I cherish my family. I make sure every day that my children and husband are loved and appreciated. I don’t hold my tongue, but I listen humbly.

Ladies, if you don’t have the courage to let your voice be heard and become strong enough to speak for yourself then you’ll never be heard. If you don’t love enough to listen, then nothing can ever be fixed.

If I could leave you with one discovery, it would be --

I have become strong not because I let someone in, but because I learned to let myself out.

And that same power, is waiting for you. -Kim

Essay by: Kim Pena

Don't you love Kim's story of how she moved from fear to power?! I was definitely inspired!

For more of Kim and to say Hello :) , head on over to:

The Hill Country Woman / FB/TheHillCountryWoman / Insta-TheHillCountryWoman

11.15.17 Catia's Portrait Session-0047.jpg

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 9/12/16 Catia Holm 9/12/16

The Courage to Become | Alexis Edwards

I am thrilled to have the opportunity to participate in a collaborative series dreamed up by the amazingly talented Catia Holm. Catia is a mama, writer, speaker and all around badass lady who is passionate about inspiring authenticity and teaching others how to flourish.

Catia’s “Courage to Become” series features women from all walks of life with uniquely inspiring stories on how they garnered the courage to BECOME. Women blazing their own trails despite fear and doubt so they could BECOME the women they are truly meant to be. The series will highlight and celebrate each woman’s journey and I’m overjoyed that Catia invited me to join the group!

When Catia reached out, I was honestly like, "Huh? Me? I’m boring." But I think that might also be the point. Navigating womanhood can be brutal. Expectations are high, judgments are common, and self-esteem is a journey all its own. To combat that, we need community and we need to know that our voice matters. We need to be told and understand that our purpose is unique and absolutely attainable despite our fears and doubts.

I think many of us truly struggle to become. When I looked up the definition, I found the meaning “begin to be”. To be or not to be, that is the question, right? It certainly has been for me. My life has been a series of inner dialogues about whether or not to begin and while it’s never easy to take the plunge, each new beginning has helped shape me into the woman I am today.

I haven’t lived the easiest life. I was born to very young parents who raised me in a blended and messy shared custody battle ground. My mother struggled with mental illness, substance abuse and I moved from one city to the next as she chased her broken dreams. We didn’t live in one place for longer than a year or two and my life felt completely nomadic. I yearned for normalcy and endlessly hoped for freedom from the roaming chaos.

While not the nuclear family of my peers, my imperfectly disordered upbringing is exactly where everything about my personality was born. It was the beginning of my becoming. I was forced into a life of independence and resilience and quickly learned how to take charge and meet the needs of others. All of which led me to the career path I’m still walking today.

Since before I can remember, I always wanted to be a helper of sorts, well there was that one time when I was four and wanted to be a ballerina trapeze artist, but other than that I wanted to be a vet, a doctor, a teacher, basically all the kickass people saving (or changing) lives.

It’s my theory that those of us that have been broken are pulled into roles of mending and helping and will continuously do everything in our power to bring things (or people) back into wholeness. And that’s exactly what I did.

I came “home” to Louisiana for undergrad, desperate to dig roots, to be still. I thought, “This is where I will stay forever,” but turns out my wild heart needed more adventure. Despite my dad’s dismay, I did not end up going to medical school, I mean math is hard, but I did discover a calling that allowed me to not only heal my own pain, but to also channel it into serving others.

I applied to graduate school at the UT Austin School of Social Work and after visiting the campus felt an intense pull to stay, my first influential internal dialogue about becoming. What about my family and friends in Louisiana? What if I regretted it? What if I failed? But the thing I’ve learned time and time again, is that your gut is your truth.

Each time I’ve doubted or questioned or feared, I’ve closed my eyes and listened to my heart. Deep down, we all know what we need. We all know what is right or wrong or necessary. Our heart and soul whispers the answers into every part of our being. The problem is that we don’t trust ourselves enough to hold those truths steady.

Eventually I became a mother and realized that mothering was hard. I doubt myself daily and find myself frequently telling a friend, “Today I was a bad mom”. It’s as if the hard things, the struggles, make us feel like we are doing everything wrong. The truth that we are good and alive and doing our best – becomes unsteady -- because the pressure outside says darkness is bad. Failure is wrong. Losing isn’t right. But for me, it’s the things in my life that were all of it, the good, bad and ugly, that brought me the most joy --that made me grow and change and become more human. We can struggle and still be good.

My gut (truth) has never let me down. I followed my truth from grad school in Austin to an internship in South Africa and back again. I followed it again into marriage and motherhood. I followed it when leaving my career to stay home with my babies and I’m following it today as I embark on the journey to reignite my career all over again.

I still have zero clue what I’m doing, but I’m experiencing life. I’m trusting the process and listening to my heart every step of the way. I’m sitting with discomfort and fear and letting it guide me as I unearth the truth behind it all.

I think so often about HOW my children will become WHOLE. About how they can reach self-love and embrace their truth and I think the answer is in teaching them -- not so much about right from wrong -- but more about right and wrong. Strange and normal. Easy and hard. Sadness and joy. Fear and confidence. How the most dichotomous of experiences are actually immensely intertwined and living them together is the only way to authentically become.

Essay by: Alexis Edwards

6tag-1758453673-1118903792414845697_1758453673 %5b369363%5d.jpg

“I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me, too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.”

~Frida Kahlo

Head on over to Birth 360 to get in touch with Alexis

And for a daily dose of FUNNY, REAL and SMART visit Alexis on her Instagram!

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I wrote a book - The Courage to Become, I speak - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

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Catia Holm 10/23/13 Catia Holm 10/23/13

The Como Mamas

Originally published on 10-23-13

Sometime in mid-March, I was working at ACL and SXSW acts were rolling through the venue. The ticket for this particular night read, Soul Review. I thought, “Cool. I like soul music.” And I had a glimmer of hope that Justin Timberlake would swing by.

At 8pm when the house lights went down the venue only had about 100 people in it. It was a meager start to the night as the venue fits about 2700 music lovers. As I surveyed the crowd I thought, “Maybe Prince is playing down the street or something.”

I scanned the acts on the ticket and since I hadn’t heard of any of them, I didn’t pay much attention. As ACL spans four floors I spent a lot of my time running around chatting and checking with staff on each floor. As I was running around my boss, Tom asked “Have you been inside the venue yet? You’re going to love the act on stage.” As soon as I found a good breaking point I made my way inside the venue and was immediately blown away.

The room was dark and cold and filled with the unforgettable voices of The Como Mamas. As I surveyed the stage I thought, “Only three ladies, no instruments?” I had heard similar sounds from movie soundtracks before, but never in person. The group is made up of three lifelong Gospel singers from the small town of Como, Mississippi, and they were magnificent. Their voices cut straight through the fluff and went directly to my bones. Their voices were gripping. I was mesmerized. I inched my way toward the front of the stage and got lost in their voices. I took photos and videos but nothing compared to the real thing.

When their set was over and the crowd of what was now 200 people had finished applauding, I decided to make good use of my all access pass and go backstage to tell them how awesome they were.

I walked straight up to my favorite of the three singers, Ms. Ester Mae, and I introduced myself. “Hello, my name is Catia and I work here. I just wanted to tell you how powerful and impactful your performance was. Listening to your voices is very moving. Good luck with…” I thought it was be a quick congratulations and I’d be on my way. But before I turned away she grabbed my hands in hers.

We were outside her dressing room and folks were hurriedly working getting ready for the next band, but somehow all that faded away and I felt connected. I didn’t yet know what she was going to say, but I knew that I was going to pay attention.

My small soft hands sat in her encompassing rough hands. Her hands felt like they had been productive for decades. She was tall and was of bigger build and dressed in her Sunday best. Her long corn rows were pulled back in a ponytail and she was smiling so big I could see her gold capped teeth. No one would have questioned her being backstage but she was wearing her artist badge proudly.

Once my hands were in hers and our eyes locked she said, “Thank you so much for that. You know, I’m 62. They came into my church and discovered me 4 years ago. All my life I’ve been singing in the church, for the church and just now, my dreams are coming true. Tomorrow, they are taking me on a plane to New Orleans!” She was beaming. Ms. Ester continued, “I’ve been praying my whole life to God. You just keep working hard for what you want. Don’t lose faith in yourself or in God. When you’re ready, your dreams will find their way to you. Don’t be afraid of hard work.”

I was blown away by her words of wisdom. I knew that this was not an ordinary occurrence.

Ms. Ester definitely looked like she could cook a southern meal and give a great hug. And since we weren’t near a kitchen, I asked if I could give her a hug and she agreed. It was such a mama bear hug. I could feel her love even though she didn’t know me from Adam.

Did she know Guapo and I were about to hit a rocky patch? Did she know I was going to jump into writing full time? Did she know that I was training for a marathon? Did she know I was working two jobs and was really tired? There were so many balls in the air; I had no clue how life was going to be come May. How did she know I would need to hear her words? She didn’t, but God did.

God sent her to me to say, “Keep your head down, work hard and don’t lose faith.” The words, “I’m 62 and I’m just walking into my dream,” pop into my thoughts when I get impatient.

There are signs all around and they come to us in different packages. The universe is constantly talking to us, guiding us along. However, the signs from the universe won’t always be obvious, most times, they’ll be subtle. We have to be open and aware enough to receive them. We have to have open hearts, open minds and be quiet enough within ourselves to notice the messages.

If we are constantly numbing ourselves out with food, alcohol or even activity we will have a hard time reading the signs along the way, if we see them at all. James Earl Jones is not going to show up at our doors telling us what our next move should be, neither is the Wizard of Oz.

Some days a door will open and a door will close and that’s as much change that will happen. Some days there may be a road block along the way redirecting us, and some days the universe may send us Ms. Ester. Most times the signs are so small that we may not even give them any significance, but they are there. Pay attention.

Justin Timberlake was a no show that night, but I got something much better, a hug from Ms. Ester and a message from God.

Ms. Ester, may you continue to touch people’s souls the way you touched mine.

Catia Holm 9/11/13 Catia Holm 9/11/13

Words + Thoughts live

Originally published on 9-11-13

Words are everywhere. They come at as us from the TV, from the newspaper and from the radio. Media is just one medium, but there are countless others. Day to day interactions with family and friends and co-workers can be just as impactful. Over the years I have learned to be more discerning about the words I use and about the words that I let into my space, and it’s my days and nights so much happier.

Words and thoughts from TV

When Guapo and I started dating I avoided watching TV or movies where people were mean or unkind to each other. I started avoiding those subjects because I never wanted the following questions to come up, “Would you ever do that?” or “Have you ever…?” or “What would you do if…?” I didn’t want that junk, albeit fictional, entering into my subconscious, his, or ours. So we watched a lot of college football, comedy shows and happy romantic comedies. Finished were the days of “This is 40” or “The Five Year Engagement.” As funny as those types of movies seem, they’re simply negative wrapped in funny.

You’d think that when he’s not home, I’d turn it back to Real Housewives, right? Wrong. After one year of not being a regular viewer, I just can’t handle it anymore. Their voices sound like nails on chalkboard to me. I can literally feel their vile language invading my space. There are countless shows on TV where people are just down right mean to each other, there’s no value in watching it. Most times it’s like watching venom spew back and forth across the screen. “You’re a bitch! No, you’re a bitch!” This sounds extreme, I know. But once you start paying attention to how you feel AFTER you’ve finished watching an E! Entertainment News marathon, you’ll realize, it’s indifferent at best.

The other day we went to go see Woody Allen’s, Blue Jasmine. I was so pumped. I love a good movie with eye candy to boot! Forty five minutes in, I realized it was a downer! The characters were heavy and rude. I thought, “Do we stay and get our 20 bucks worth, or do we leave?” I tapped Guapo on the shoulder and he knew, he could feel it too. We left and were eating at one of our favorite hippie restaurants in no time. See ya later, Woody!

Words and thoughts from other people

About a month ago I walked into a boot repair shop in West Texas, and the owner, a lady in her mid-40s, was posted up behind a display counter. She greeted me and quickly proceeded to talk about being financially strapped and horses being slaughtered. She was clear in communicating to me just how much the world owed her. I thought, “Woah, lady. This is not the way to get me to come back here.”

There was a dark grey cloud looming over the boot shop and her negative words and vibe seemed to stick everywhere, like hot gum melted to the bottom of your shoe. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. “Thanks for the chat, see you …never.”

If someone’s talking about icky things, I try my best to exit as quickly as possible. If I can’t exit, I try to change the subject. There’s no added value to my life (or to theirs) if I’m listening to someone rehash how much paying taxes sucks or how much their ex-boyfriend sucks. I prefer the sunnier side of memory lane.

Our words and thoughts

We tell ourselves some crazy stuff. We say out loud about ourselves what we would never say about our friends. It’s like we expect ourselves to be a glossed up version of a woman. We are to have the brilliance of Tina Fey, the hotness of Beyonce, the tenderness of a pre-school teacher, oh yeah and after dark the fierceness of Rihanna. Are you kidding me? No. We (me included) can be cray, cray!

Yesterday I joked, “I haven’t gone to the grocery store! I’m not a good wife.” Or a few months ago as thoughts were bubbling up inside of me and I was resisting I said, “Maybe I’m not a good writer. Maybe I just wasn’t meant to be a writer.” Or, “I know that the pork chops I cooked for dinner aren’t the greatest, they’ll be better next time.” Or the classic, “She’s so pretty; she’s so much prettier than me.”

Thankfully, in my house, comments like that are usually cut off at the knees. “Don’t joke about that, you’re a great wife,” or “Stop. You are a good writer, but you are on a learning path,” or “There’s no self-hate in this house, we don’t allow it.” Dang! Even when I use self-deprecating humor to be funny, I get shut down! My house is better off that way.

The more we use these words, the more we tell ourselves that we are not enough, the worse off we are. Have you ever noticed that when you don’t weigh yourself every morning and you don’t obsess about the .5 pounds you’ve gained, you’re much happier (and just as hot!)

Words and thoughts are things. Be conscious of the words you use and the energy you are putting out there. Are you a glass half full kind of person, or are you a glass half empty kind of person, or are you a… gosh I wish I had a better glass kind of person? What message are your words and actions sending?

Be a positive force in the world and value your life enough to only surround yourself with the like.

Catia Holm 6/2/13 Catia Holm 6/2/13

26.2

Originally published on 6-2-13

Late February my brother, Carlos, and I were at my Sis’ birthday party and he said, “Hey I’m running a marathon in May,” and after having a few vodka martinis I said, “I will too!”

Half of me wanted to tackle a challenge, something way beyond my reach, something that I knew would take a good chunk of commitment, and the other half of me wanted to support him (at this point Carlos had lost 100 pounds and had been challenging himself physically and mentally in different ways), a little solidarity if you will.

I was not in real shape; I was what I call ‘gym fit.’ My clothes fit and I felt good about the way I looked but I had zero endurance.

So I decided to get with it and of course, started by buying new clothes and supplies!

The running coach fitting me for sneakers asked, “How many miles can you run now without stopping?” “8 miles,” I quickly replied. 8 miles was a total and complete lie, I hadn’t run 8 miles since 2011! Now scared I asked, “Do you think I can do this?” He answered seriously, “Absolutely, but you can’t skip a day of training. Most people train over 6 months.” I only had 9 weeks. Uh oh.

I Googled, sought advice from the fittest people I knew, bought cool running gear, downloaded songs, but there was no magic formula, no magic pill. No one offered the number to their blood doping connection. I was out of luck. I’d have to go it alone. I decided to forge ahead and I started to chip away at it.

My first long run was 8 miles and every Saturday after that I upped the mileage by 2. I ran 8, 10, 12, 14, 16 and 18! At 18 I thought, “Woah.” As I ran up the driveway after mile 18 I thought, “Ok. Now this is a lot.” I gingerly lied on the floor and got lost in the wooden beam above until I could move again.

One week later I ran the big kahuna, 20. 20 was my best run. I left the house on my own, knowing there would be no jam bands or spectators along the way, knowing there would be no aid or water stations, no one handing me half bananas to keep me going. It was only my carefully chosen shoes, my favorite Pandora rap station, my Gatorade and my inner voice. You see, I have the same chatter box that you have. The chatter box that tells you whether you can or you can’t. While I did experience things happening on the exterior: corner store activity, blessing the homeless man I ran by, running through plumes of cigarette smoke, watching the city busses stop and go and stop and go, I did not allow myself to sink into my negative chatter box. If I had, I would have never laced up my shoes in the first place. Who runs 20 miles on there on a volunteer basis? As negative thoughts would float in my head I would coach myself through by saying, “Nope, not now, negative chatter box, you can try to come back later.” All of a sudden the negative rhetoric was gone and in the moment I knew I could do it, because I already was. I was already at mile 16, what was another 4 miles?

Soon we were 2 weeks out I came down with a virus and my Dr. said, “Hey I know how hard you’ve trained but I can’t guarantee you‘ll be able to run.” With some certain attitude I replied, “Give me the meds, not running is not an option.” I had worked out 5 days a week, rain or shine, sick or tired. Nothing got in the way. I ate the right foods, drank the right fluids, passed up a tasty alcoholic beverage on many occasion because I knew my body couldn’t withstand it. Some head cold was not going to stop me.

She ended up seeing me again a few days after the marathon because I had a little GI tract bleeding from running- whoops.

For 9 weeks Carlos and I trained separately but cheered each other on in our own way, watched each other’s progress. Finally, race day was upon us. We woke up even before the roosters crowed, threw on our best battle gear and headed for the starting line. When we stepped out of our toasty warm car and into the race zone, it was 46 degrees. Icy.

The marathon we signed up for was the definition of low key. I’m not sure the casual Saturday morning trail runners even knew there were races being run. Folks were running 10ks, half marathons, full marathons and 50ks. Carlos and I ran with no promise of glittered good luck signs, fanfare or fancy refueling stations. The statement, we ran the most boring marathon possible, is not far off.

I was packed down with energy chews, electrolytes; a water bottle, my iphone and my ipod shuffle just in case my phone decided it didn’t have enough juice to go the distance with me.

Throughout the run I observed nature, thought about a new hair style, thought about cool posts for Facebook once I had finished, but then like a Mom is proud of her child, I started feeling proud of myself, so I got teary eyed and had to stop thinking about Facebook posts. Onward. I sang along with Jay Z, Ja Rule, J Lo and 50 Cent. I’m clearly stuck in 2001. I thought about how crazy the people who put on the marathon were. Instead of offering us Gatorade and orange slices, they offered us Rootbeer and Oreos. With each lap the sun came out more and with each lap I peeled off layers of clothing. In the middle of the third lap I felt my face flush and my head heat up and I thought, “What’s going on here? Oh, I’m overheating. Whoopsie daises, better not let that happen.”

It warmed up to 65 degrees by the time we were on mile 24, when Carlos and I met up on the trail. We changed our individuals running paces and joined up, and decided to run the last few miles together. No winner, no loser, but together. Here we were, months and weeks and hours and hours of training later, together. Knowing there would be a camera we gave our best Hernandez smile and sprinted across, we probably looked a little more energetic than we actually were. We may have even had a little juice left for crossing the finish line at mile 26.2. We crossed, high fived, looked around for some fanfare, but there was none to be had, so we took a moment for ourselves, packed up and went home.

Carlos finished because he told himself he could. I finished because I told myself I could. There was no magic pill for either of us, no super-secret way to get through it, no back door way to get a marathon medal. All it took was a little courage.

Never underestimate the power of courage. It takes courage to set a goal and grind away at it.

You are capable of so much more than you give yourself allowance for. Don’t be afraid to reach just beyond your grasp. I believe in you.

Catia Holm 2/21/13 Catia Holm 2/21/13

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Originally published on 2-21-13

A few weeks ago I joined a new fancy gym and thought there was no question I’d be in the top 10% of the fitness level. I mean, I practice yoga, I‘ve run races, cycled in races, run 10ks in my sleep, I’m a Tough Mudder for crying out loud! I got this! No problem!

So I looked over the class schedule and decided the first class I would take was Total Conditioning. I showed up to class, assessed the room and the people in the room and assumed my space in the front row.

It’s probably not a surprise that I spend most of my life in both the literal and hypothetical front row. I’ve always wanted to learn and inch forward and improve, even in something as trivial as gym class.

It was a noon class and I looked around at thought, “don’t these people work?” Then I thought, “alright Instructor Jodi, let’s see what you’ve got.” Kayne was blaring in the background and we were movin’ and grovin’. Side steps, pump those arms, add a hop, and keep it moving! 300 seconds into the warm up, I thought, “Oh shit, Jodi’s going to whoop me!” My heart rate was at 165 and my max is 195. Then after 10 minutes, the Jodi asked, “Are we ready to get started?” I thought, “Crap lady, if we haven’t started yet, I may collapse by the end of the class!” From what I could tell I was the least in shape of anyone in the room. It was nuts!

I was struggling, breathing deeply, face red as a beet, getting dizzy, seeing grey and maybe black. I looked like a buffoon, but I kept going. My arms and legs were flailing around, at one point I lost all control of the motion of my legs on each karate kick, I was just throwing my legs in the air willy-nilly. I walked out 60 minutes later a hot mess. It was the longest 60 minute gym class ever.

So a few days later, I went again, and posted up in the front row. My sheer determination to be better said “Do not wuss out, you’d better stay in the front row. Moving to the middle or back would be conceding defeat!” So again, I endured 60 minutes of heart pumping workout. It was murder, and I was real glad no one in the class knew me by name.

But something happened in this class, in the middle of lunges with weights on our shoulders, just when I thought my butt muscles were going to spontaneously combust because they burned so bad, the instructor yelled out, “GET COMFORTABLE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE, THAT’S WHERE THE CHANGE HAPPENS! WHEN YOU WALK OUT OF HERE WILL YOU BE ABLE TO TELL YOURSELF THAT WAS THE BEST YOU COULD DO?” And a light went off in my head and I thought, “No I won’t, I know I have about 15% more to give.” Jodi continued yelling over Beyoncé lyrics, “You’re already here, you’re here for 60 minutes, and you may as well get the most out of it!” If I could have OOH-RAHed in the moment, I would have.

Over the next few days I couldn’t stop thinking, get comfortable being uncomfortable. I can do that. After all, any time something magical has happened it’s been in moments that are outside of my comfort zone. For me, life changing break throughs have been when I’ve summed up courage and guts and moxie and energy to say screw it….let’s do this.

Don’t be afraid of that. It won’t feel good every second of the way, but who cares, there’s always an end to the icky feeling and at the end of the icky feeling is pure “aaaahhhhh.”

It’s like driving through downpour and then seeing a rainbow, it’s like giving birth and then getting to hold your baby, it’s like being scared being scared to ask for a raise, doing it anyways and succeeding, it’s like going on a first date with a man who doesn’t respond your regular shtick –being forced to be yourself—and then figuring out he’s the love of your life (yesterday morning we talked about new houses and babies). It’s like forcing yourself to get up off the couch after you get home from work put your bra back on and go out and make friends when you move to a new city, then finding your kindred spirit.

It always take a little courage and you already have all the courage you need, there’s a land of joy out there, waiting for you to enjoy it.

You’re already on this earth; you may as well make the most of it. Are you giving the best you have to offer? On your last day, will you be able to say, I gave it all I had? It matters not that you’re the best in class, all that matters is that you are getting all that you can and all that you want out of your 60 minutes.

Catia Holm 2/18/13 Catia Holm 2/18/13

Claim Yours

Originally published on 2-18-13

I have grown up in a family that even though we’re well intentioned we’re not always the healthiest. We like many others have fallen into a pattern of celebrating with food and drink and as a bonus since my folks own liquor stores; there’s been plenty of drinking. Each of us had our battles with weight and some of us have been more successful than others but this weekend we handed out our first ever “Most Improved Player” award.

My 25 year old brother Carlos has always been overweight, but since he’s been overweight since I can remember, from my perspective it never felt like such an overwhelming problem. I always thought he’s young; he’ll have time to fix himself up. During high school and parts of college Carlos was active but like most of America he let his health fall by the wayside.

Well about a year ago something clicked in his head and he started to drink less, eat right and workout. Slowly we all saw his transformation first it was -10 pounds, then -20 pounds, then -50 pounds and even -80 pounds.

Last fall when he had dropped 84 pounds he and I went skydiving as a celebration of life and accomplishment. It was truly exhilarating. As an added anxiety bonus, the weight maximum for someone Carlos’ height was 231 and when the sky diving attendance asked him to step on the scale to check his weight we both started at the digital numbers in anticipation and then then verdict was 228! We’re in. Tiger Woods arm pump! We both breathed a sigh of relief and suited up for the sky dive. Then we got nervous about the dive! We were so busy worrying about his weight we had forgotten to worry about dropping from 10,000 feet in the air!

A few weeks later at negative 90 pounds my brothers and our friend and I participated in a Tough Mudder race. It’s a 12 mile obstacle course with 25 military style like obstacles. We trekked through miles of mud, survived 3 electrocution obstacles (yes actual electrocution), scaled 20 foot walls, jumped in pools of water from 30 feet high and swam through ice cold 32 degree water, we felt exhilarated! It was nuts. But, Carlos’ being in shape was crucial to the team. Two people were Life Flighted from the race that day.

Then yesterday at -105 pounds he ran the Livestrong Austin running event and completed his first half marathon! He signed up of his own volition and trained old school with an ipod and some running shoes. Yesterday Carlos finished 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 7 minutes and solidified the age old adage; you can do anything you put your mind to.

What a privilege to see him grow and learn and discover a new found sense of pride and confidence.

To anyone who is out there reading this waiting to take the first step, don’t wait another second. Go reclaim your life. Take it.

Catia Holm 4/16/12 Catia Holm 4/16/12

Sisses do Vegas

Sometime in December the Sisses and I…wait…have I explained the Sisses yet?

I may have skirted around who the Sisses are but they deserve a detailed explanation, so let’s take a detour.

The Sisses are a motley crew of 4, smart, funny and kind women trying to find their way, propping each other up and pushing each other along to something bigger, better and more fulfilling.

How the Sisses came to be: A few years ago Sis 1 (NP) met Sis 2 (Vanny). Sis 1 and Sis 2 started frequenting the same gym where they met Sis 3 (Poni). Shortly after, I strolled along into the same gym. I’m Sis 4. In my humble opinion, we were all at a time in our lives where we needed female friendship. We needed smart women to bounce things off of who had aspirations, who were fun and kind. In the last few years we have: gone through ups and downs, had t-shirts made, run races together, had countless activity days. We have also survived: relationships, moves, cat fights, tantrums, and being broke. I think we are the luckiest friends around. Hopefully each one of you reading this has the same bond with a few people in your world. We love each other (some days more than others) and we expect the best from each other. Sisses aren’t slackers.

Back on the ranch, last December we decided to go to Vegas for Sis 3’s birthday. Yay! Visions of: spas, decadent food, scantily clad folks walking on the strip, and champagne flowed through my head.

A few weeks before our big trip, Sis 1 called and said, “We’re all set girls! I booked us to go scrambling. Neil (our guide) will pick us up at 8:30am on Sunday.” Huh? 8:30 on a Sunday? Shouldn’t we be going to sleep at 8:30am? And by scrambling do you mean Neil will be scrambling us up some delicious eggs? Negative ghostrider. Sis 1 informed us that scrambling is a method of climbing up rocky faces and ridges without ropes. The bottom line is if one stumbles their face could permanently be plastered all over some rock in Nevada, where eventually a hawk would eat the remnants.

After processing this for about 30 seconds, I said, “great!” I was pumped.

8:30am on Sunday rolled around, which was no problem, because like the awesome women we are, we were in bed, faces washed and teeth brushed by 12:30am the night before. Winners.

Neil picked us up from the hotel and drove us 30 minutes out from the Vegas strip – as we were riding in the car I thought, “either we’re climbing that mountain just up ahead or we’re about to be murdered.” Maybe Neil had watched Pesci in Goodfellas the night before, you never know.

We arrived at our destination, strapped on our backpacks and off we went.

First we were walking over gravel, then over rocks, then we were forced to look down and watch where we were stepping because the rocks became the size of watermelons, then…wait…photo opp!

Then we were really in business. Neil was coaching along, “Use one leg to step up, put your weight on your right hand, now shift all your weight to your left foot, now jump!” Or, “See that shelf (a small rock jutting out no bigger than a small plantain) that is where you are going to put your foot and see that hold (an opening in the rock so small a hamster would take issue living in it) that is where you’re going to put your hand to hold on and get yourself over the rock.” I thought, “WHAT? Am I on candid camera?” So there the four of us went, rock by rock, turn by turn, obstacle by obstacle. We climbed up, we climbed down, and we even opted for the more difficult route (competitive? Maybe.) We climbed an 850ft mountain named Red Cap without ropes or tools, just Neil’s coaching and each other’s encouragement. When we got to the top of Red Cap we signed our name on a small worn tablet with a golf pencil and made our way down, ducking and weaving and squeezing our way through impossible looking holes. See below.

During our descent I said, “I feel incredible, this is so amazing, I am a mountain woman!” Then Sis 2 turned to me and said, “That’s why we’re single…because we keep doing things like this! We realize we don’t need anyone and can keep pushing ourselves!” I thought her statement was brilliant…but that’s for another blog.

From time to time get out of your comfort zone, take a dance class, go to a party alone, climb a mountain or jump out of a plane! You deserve to shake it up a little and feel excitement and growth.

That surge of happiness and empowerment will remind you that you can handle day to day challenges and opportunities with strength and grace.

You are more than capable. I know it.

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

This piece from Debra hit home for me, BIG TIME!

For more gems and to keep up with Debra and her amazing work - check her out on her web site and on Instagram.

To bring Debra Giunta to your school or program - contact her here. You'll be so glad you did!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide