Catia Holm 2/20/17 Catia Holm 2/20/17

The Courage to Become | Allison Mack

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~ Maya Angelou

I love this quote. I live my life by this quote. When the opportunity to write about the “Courage to Become” fell into my lap my first thought was, gosh I haven’t really “become” anything. I’m a pretty ordinary person. I’m just me. I started to dig deep and really take a hard look back on my past, my history, my childhood, my parents, and what defines me, what doesn’t define me, but overall, what makes me… me.

I really feel pretty lucky that I’ve become a lot of amazing things - I’ve become a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friend to countless, but I’ve also had the blessing of becoming a business owner of an empowering community of women called, Austin Moms Blog and sometimes also known as my 4th child.

The condensed version of me is that I grew up in Austin, TX, lived in the same house my entire life and attended Westwood High School where my mother was {and still is} a teacher. My parents divorced when I was 2 years old and my sister and I are almost 10 years apart {I’m the baby} so in essence I grew up slightly like the only child…or so I’ve been told.

For as long as I can remember, I was always outgoing, tenacious, and loved being around people… a true extrovert. I was a cheerleader, trained in English Equestrian for several years, joined the FFA where I raised a lamb {we never made it to the slaughter trailer — my heart just couldn’t do it}, started competing in beauty pageants my Freshman year in high school, graduated from the University of Texas in Austin, and ultimately met my best friend, Wesley, who I would later marry and have 3 beautiful children with. Whew… that’s me in a outer surface nut shell and the longest sentence EVER.

My years in pageantry really set me up big time for what I’m doing in life now — I mean I can strut in a pair of heels while holding a crying baby on my hip, holding another’s hand, leading another with my knee, and still have room to throw in a hair flip all while my lips are glossed and my eyeliner is winged. That’s talent right there, people. In all seriousness though, pageantry really did help prepare me for being a business owner as well as a mom. I definitely don’t regret my pageant days.

Throughout my competition years I endured countless hours of training to make sure I was the best version of me. I know it sounds so cliche, but I really do believe that pageants bring out the best of who YOU were meant to be. I spent the most amount of time training for interview and public speaking. I also spent time learning how to walk in heels, how to put on false eyelashes, how to get my hair closer to God {it’s called a teasing comb}, and more, but my weakest area was always speaking in public.

When I look back at all of that training I kind of smile. It seemed like nonsense once my pageant days were over, but I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that training now that I’m older. As the owner of Austin Moms Blog, I make some sort of media appearance at least twice a month. Whether I’m on the news, speaking to a University of Texas advertising class, or connecting with other moms at an event, I’m now extremely comfortable speaking in public. I still get nervous, but I now know that at least I won’t suck when I do have to do it.

Austin Moms Blog is an opportunity that truly fell into my lap. It wasn’t something I was looking for, but I really feel like it was looking for me. In fact, my dream in life was to be a mom. Nothing more, nothing less, “just” a mom. Life had bigger plans for me. My husband had bigger plans for me. A friend had bigger plans for me. My children had bigger plans for me. And in the summer of 2011, after being a mom for just 1 very long year, a friend and I decided to launch Austin Moms Blog. It would be our hobby, a place where we could talk about all things mommy, a resource of sorts for other moms in the Austin community, a judgment free zone, and safe place. Now I juggle being “just” that mom as well as managing a business that requires at least {if not more} 30-40 hours of true work per week. 6 years later, I’m reminded that when you’re doing something you are passionate about that it can often lead to something pretty special.

Starting Austin Moms Blog made perfect sense because honestly, there was zero pressure and we were moms starting a moms blog. I mean duh. The way we looked at it was this was truly just for fun! I believe that’s what has made AMB so successful - we started from a really organic and authentic place in our lives. Moms just being moms. Eventually other moms kind of started to like us, which was awesome!

When we first launched Austin Moms Blog we knew that there were similar resources out there for parents so we made every effort to try to be different. In the very beginning when AMB was just a newborn, we really didn’t have a lot of direction or guidance so it was just us trying to navigate as we went along. It wasn’t until we started bringing on a team of writers that AMB’s legs really grew and we were able to set ourselves apart from the rest as not just a resource, not just event focused, not just community driven, not just a contributing team, not just a one mom perspective, but ALL of that wrapped up under one umbrella. Diversity in our team is our #1 goal, because we recognize that all moms are different with different backgrounds, parenting styles, and that we are all at different stages of motherhood. Our team is 50 strong and we try really hard to embody all of those differences so we can touch all moms not just the ones that are like us.

I started this journey with a Maya Angelou quote and it’s literally something I say {condensed version, of course}, whenever I’m faced with adversity or in times that simply put, aren’t going my way. When you focus on the good, it’s hard to be saddened by the bad. Austin Moms Blog is good. I’m reminded of that daily by our current team, our past contributing writers, and even by our readers. We are ALL good good mamas no matter what our path to motherhood was, regardless of how many children we have, and despite our differences. That’s why I’m so proud to have become the behind the scenes voice of such a powerful platform as Austin Moms Blog.

A Few Fun Little Facts::

• Which living person do you most admire? This is tough. There are at least 2 handfuls of people that I truly admire so it wouldn’t be fair to call out only one. I will say that characteristics I admire most in people are “hard-working, driven, strong sense of humor, well-spoken, kind, dedicated, intelligent, faithful, successful {at something…anything!}, not afraid to show raw emotion, and open-mindedness”.

• Which talent would you most like to have? I wish so much that I knew how to play the piano. I know I know… it’s not too late to start, BUT it’s just not something I have the patience to learn this late in life. It’s one of those talents I wish I could just snap my fingers and magically have.

• What is your most marked characteristic? My hair.

• What are some things you are proud to have accomplished? I’m incredibly proud that I’m a UT graduate…it really wasn’t in the cards for me to go to an accredited university, but that tenaciousness came out in full force and I was determined to get ‘er done.

• What are some hopes you have for your future? I think my biggest hope is to watch my children grow into their own little people, which means I get to grow old {YAY!}. And I mean that…I’ll be ridiculously lucky if I get the chance to be full of wrinkles, gray hair, and live the journey my children and my husband take me on. If AMB went away tomorrow, I’d still be incredibly fulfilled.

• What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on? Do it {whatever “it” is} because you love it and it’s a passion, not because you need it or are trying to profit. If you’re truly doing what you love, it’s not really work.

Essay by: Allison Mack

To keep up with Allison's adventures be sure to follow along!

Austin Moms Blog // Facebook // Instagram

Waco Moms Blog // Facebook // Instagram

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Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

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Catia Holm 2/13/17 Catia Holm 2/13/17

The Courage to Become | Betsy Pake

I’ve always been a ‘doer’. My whole life I liked lists and forms and a specific outline for how to ‘do’. Which is why I find my journey so comical because nothing about it has followed a path that could be written on a check list.

Like most women, I wear lots of hats. I’m a mom and a wife and a dreamer of big things. I’m a writer and I love to help people get in touch with their passion and purpose to live authentically. I do this by helping them ‘Start Small to Live Big’.

I’ve tried a lot of different things over the years, and had some great successes. I built a career in sales and owned my own business, I did some incredible things with my fitness, ran a marathon and won bronze medal in the Pan American games in Olympic Lifting and owned a CrossFit gym.

But it wasn’t until my daughter started having extreme anxiety that I found my true purpose. She was eleven and was having anxiety attacks at school. After going from doctor after doctor, I learned it was her amygdala, that controls your freeze, fight or flight response, that gets over stimulated and causes her to have these attacks even when there is no real threat or danger.

I was working as a nutrition coach at the time, and I recognized this same thing in my clients but on a much smaller scale. I would ask them to do something outside of their comfort zone, something that would make them grow, and they froze. When we would do our follow up a week later, they would tell me they wanted to do it, but they had some resistance they couldn’t explain.

It was how my daughter explained her anxiety, just on a smaller scale.

So I started experimenting with both my daughter and my clients, giving them something SO small that they could basically tip toe past their amygdala. If they went small enough, that freeze, fight or flight response was never triggered and each time they did something new they effectively pushed the threshold farther and farther.

My clients started doing things they never thought they could do before, and my daughter was having success too. Today, she goes to the biggest high school in Georgia, with over 4,000 kids, and thrives.

I believe that we are all candles, but we have to fall into the darkness to know what we were really meant for.

I think that is what happened with me. As this was unfolding, I realized my purpose was much bigger than I originally anticipated and I decided to make the leap to do this work and I pushed my business of nutrition coaching aside. It was so exciting and so terrifying all at the same time.

I was building steadily with my nutrition business, had a best selling book on Amazon and although I wasn’t living large with my paychecks, I felt happy knowing I was contributing to our family. But something never felt right. It was scary to leave that small cocoon of security and turn my back on that path. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t the direction I was truly meant to be on and when my true path became clear, I recognized it and took the leap.

When I decided to change my focus, I had deep discussions with my husband about my plans. We determined a time frame that I could be without income and what I thought my steps should be. I was realistic and as we’ve reached each benchmark, we’ve talked and made decisions together.

I slowly closed my nutrition business, as each client felt successful and graduated, I didn’t replace them with someone else. I wrote a new book about my work with Starting Small called Start Small, Live Big: Thrive through change to live the life of your dreams. I started speaking, sharing at schools, talking to anyone who would listen! I feel like I have a great message that can help people and as the mission became clear, it became easier and easier to see the path.

I am still growing and changing every day. Some days I feel like the things I’ve learned in the past few months could fill up another book entirely. I’ve learned that growth isn’t for the weak and if you’ve got a mission to help people you have to be willing to deal with some of the hard stuff in your own life too.

One of my biggest obstacles has been staying in my zone of genius. When we are getting started as entrepreneurs we have to do lots of things that we aren’t great at because we may not have the money to outsource those things right away. I find doing ‘batch’ days really helps me. This is where I focus on just recording my podcasts, or just writing blog posts, or just creating graphics for an entire day. It keeps me focused and if its something I don’t enjoy, I don’t have to dread it day after day, I just get it out of the way all at once. This process really helps my creativity and staying positive, which is vital for someone working for themselves.

Someone I really admire is Glennon Doyle Melton. She’s an author, a truth teller and an incredible speaker. She took a dark time in her life, learned from it and now shares with others so we don’t all feel so alone. I think being that authentic is a special gift.

One talent I wish I had was to be able to sing! I sing in the car and in the shower, but when my daughter was young she heard me singing and started to cry. I knew right then there probably wasn’t a singing career in my future! I’m okay with that.

When my friends think of me, I think they probably think I’m super positive. I practice gratitude every day. There is so much goodness around us and our lives are truly what we focus on.

My motto is Start Small Live Big, because there is NOTHING you can’t accomplish if you break it down small enough. Nothing!

I’m most proud that I have raised such a kind daughter. I’ve asked her before, “What do you think I’d want most for your life?” She hesitated and said, “I was going to say happiness but I think it’s for me to be kind.” Absolutely. Kind people are happy people. Kind people are brave people. We have two choices in this world and two choices only; Love or Fear. Always shoot to choose love.

I hope in the future more roads will open up to me where I can work to serve others. Maybe it will be with more speaking opportunities and holding workshops or maybe in some other way I haven’t even thought of yet. I feel confident that my path is set, I just have to trust and take action on the ideas and opportunities that come to me.

One piece of advice I’d give to women who are just embarking on their journey is to figure out where you want to go and then set up small steps to get there! You can move mountains if you chunk it down. Take action when it comes to you. Ideas are little gifts from the universe so don’t let them pass you by. If you can’t take action right then, write them down and save them for later. You may not end up doing that exact action, but it may lead to some other creative path that is on your journey.

Find some mentors. If you can’t find them live, find them in books. There is so much to learn from others who have gone before you and although your path is unique, knowing that the challenges you face are universal and can be overcome will give you strength in the dark times.

I just LOVE Betsy's story - her piece is chock full of wisdom and encouragement!

Make sure to keep up with Betsy here:

Facebook / Betsy Pake / Instagram

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 1/12/17 Catia Holm 1/12/17

The Courage to Become | Sarah Rioux

The Courage to Overcome Fear and Grow Mentally, Spiritually, Professionally

Ciao! My name is Sarah Rioux and I am the Owner, CEO and Co-Founder of Ladybird Provisions, and we make Coffee Bombs. I am the daughter of an Italian immigrant who has shown me what it looks like to be brave, dedicated and, perhaps most importantly, to chase after a dream no matter how hard it seems.

Coffee Bombs are a pre-made Butter Coffee supplement made up of Organic Virgin Coconut Oil, Grass-fed Butter, Collagen Protein and other medicinal spices that help different aspects of the body and mind. Each ingredient is meticulously chosen and each of the five flavors are intentionally crafted to stimulate the mind and jump-start the metabolism. We are still a new company (only five months in) but the overwhelming response to our product has been amazing so far.

The Beginning

I moved to Austin in August of 2015 to marry the man of my dreams, Jon, who I fatefully met over five years ago. I am a person who strives on security so quitting a safe job that I loved to move to a new city, get married and essentially start over was challenging for me in many ways. I am a Registered and Licensed Dietitian and recently went back to school for a Master’s Degree in Business. I had spent the last nine years working in Child Nutrition; as the Dietitian for Pasadena ISD in the Houston area and the Assistant Director of Child Nutrition for Fort Worth ISD. My safe career was rewarding in many ways, but there was always a part of me that didn’t feel fully content. I worked hard and I cared about what I did. I felt content and- here is that word again- safe.

I knew that moving to Austin would challenge me and force me to take the time to reflect on how I wanted to “dance” into this new phase of life, and explore what I really wanted to do professionally. My career was something that I had no idea how badly I wanted to change until presented with the opportunity…

How did it feel getting started?

Scary! It’s so funny to reflect back on but when Jon and I first met, I told him about this dream I had to open a healthy bakery. He loved the idea and constantly pushed me to pursue that dream. He used to tell me “Sarah, you work so hard for other people. If you worked half as hard for your self you’d be amazingly successful”. I loved his encouragement and the fact that he wanted to push me to be and do more than I thought I could, but I was scared. I was scared to leave my safe job that I was good at and comfortable doing to start something that was just a dream and so…unsafe.

Fast forward (or rewind) to August 2015 when I moved to Austin. I was forced into a naturally uncomfortable position (personally) of living in a new city and being unemployed. Jon was quietly but persistently whispering in my ear, telling me that it was the perfect time for me to start my own business, but I still wasn’t mentally or emotionally prepared to walk into the “unsafe zone”. So, I naturally spent my time looking online and applying to jobs. I wanted to find another safe job that would make me feel content. I had a plan for my life but it seemed that my life had another plan for me. Door after door was closed on me which tested my faith and mental strength over the course of a few months. I didn’t understand why this was happening to me at the time but now, of course, I do.

After those few months of rejection, I took a part-time job as the Dietitian for People’s RX, a local wellness pharmacy in Austin. I did not like the job (in fact I was miserable there!) but as fate would have it, it is where I met Nicole, my current business partner and the other Co-Founder of Ladybird Provisions. She is a drugless practitioner (among other things) who started advising her clients years ago to add grass-fed butter and coconut oil to their morning cup of coffee. She put these fat bombs in a mold so it was easy to add to hot coffee and forget about it. I did my own research on the Butter Coffee phenomenon and was overwhelmed with its multitude of health benefits but underwhelmed with the process of making it. People NEED something fast, easy and healthy in the morning that they don’t have to think about, right? I went to bed that night thinking about this and couldn’t sleep. I got my first “Ah Ha” moment that night and this fire inside me that said “THIS could be a business and it is something that I think I can do”! I couldn’t wait for the morning to tell Jon what I was thinking and that I wanted to start a business making Coffee Bombs- the first pre-made Butter Coffee additive (with protein) on the market. I went to Nicole and told her that I thought we could make a business out of this idea and she was on board! Together, we started playing with recipes, analyzing the nutritional panel and sourcing ingredients accordingly. The more we practiced and perfected the recipes, the more serious and excited I became. I quit working at People’s and decided to dedicate all of my time to Ladybird. Best. Decision. Ever.

Obstacles

Oh man! There were so many. I had finally found something that I was passionate and excited about and felt as though it was just meant to be. But, having a great idea and creating a business were two entirely different things so I had a lot to figure out. I’ve never been in the Consumer Packaged Goods (CPG) world before so I had to learn everything on the fly. Like how to form a company, name it, trademark it, research commercial kitchen space, health permits, cost analysis, ingredient sourcing, branding, packaging, logos, insurance, marketing, social media, finances, getting into stores (that was/is a BIG one) and the list goes on, and on, and on…. As daunting as all of this was, I was still having fun and enjoying the work I was doing and how much I was learning. And, for the first time in my professional career, the amount of work I put into Ladybird directly amounted to the productivity of the business. Figuring out how to grow is the next step. One with a whole new set of challenges to figure out and overcome. :)

What motivates you?

Fear. In all of this, I have realized that fear is a huge motivator for me. I want to show Fear that I can overcome it and that it won’t keep me down. Fear is such an inhibitor and stops so many talented, motivated people from reaching for their dreams (me included). I’ve overcome some of my fear-based obstacles but many are still there and surly more are still to come. Fear is a constant challenge to overcome but certainly, for me, a motivator to keep going for it, whatever “it” may be.

Which living person do you admire?

There are many people that I admire but none that I appreciate more than my mom, Patrizia. Like I mentioned before, she moved to the United States from Italy when she was just 22 years old to follow her dreams. She started off in New York where she became a Nanny and learned how to speak English. Then ended up in San Antonio, TX where she met my dad. She put herself through art school and has spent her entire life dedicated to her own emotional and spiritual growth and to helping others. She is a healer, a yoga teacher, an artist, a wife and an amazing mom. <3

What is your most marked characteristic?

I really love people. I have the ability to accept most people for who they are and where they are in the moment- even if it is not who I would want to be or where I would like to go. I try to appreciate everyone for their individual strengths rather than focus on their weaknesses. I guess you could say that I tend to see the best in people (for the most part anyway).

What is your motto?

Keep Truckin’. Life throws you curve balls and tests your dedication to the path that leads to your highest potential. Keep truckin’ when things get tough and have faith. It always works out if you let go. :)

What are some things that you are proud to have accomplished?

I am proud that I had faith and overcame my fear and started Ladybird. It was a HUGE step for me and something that I know had a profound impact on my psyche and confidence (even if I’m not totally sure exactly how).

I am also proud to have such a wonderful husband and great group of friends who I couldn’t imagine living without. Their support through this and the crazy rollercoaster we call life have been invaluable.

I am proud that I care about myself enough to eat right, exercise and sleep. Well, most of the time. :)

What are some hopes you have for your future?

I want to continue to grow emotionally and spiritually. I want my business to grow too, of course, but that’s not my entire focus. I think it’s important to work hard for what you want and even harder to keep what you already have. Without my friends, my husband and my health, there would be no business to work on.

Jon and I are also expecting our first baby in May, 2017. It is such an amazing and special time and the perfect opportunity to create something that I can be proud to tell this amazing child that is joining this world and our family in May.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

Go for it! Don’t let fear hold you back, let it motivate you to move forward. Make a plan, be prepared and go for it! Keep truckin’ when it gets hard. You will never know what could’ve been if you never tried.

Good luck out there!

Find Sarah and Coffee Bombs here!

Ladybird Provisions / Instagram / Facebook

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Sign Up Here

Catia Holm 12/26/16 Catia Holm 12/26/16

The Courage to Become | Anastasia Rodriguez Perez

Hope for Becoming a Virtual Entrepreneur ||

I always wanted to own my own business and “be the boss”. As a teacher, this prospect felt quite distant. In my sixth year of teaching, however, all of that changed. I was going to be a mom for the first time that summer and needed to figure out childcare in a town where we had no family. Maybe I’d work from home. How hard could that be?

I’m a techie at heart with a background in design and found myself making a critical decision with my husband when we started having kids. After teaching math for six years, I was going to stay home with my little man.

That’s when I started leaning back on my passion and my design degree. I studied architecture design at MIT and soon after completed a masters program focusing on instructional technology. Little did I know that what started as a few graphics and an Etsy shop would eventually connect me with a local parenting blog when I moved back to the Rio Grande Valley as a parent of two.

I have always leaned towards finding my place in the world by trying to help others and do something that matters. Along the way, when I have struggled with “what I’m doing with my life”, it almost always boiled down to the fact that what I was doing just wasn’t that important.

Teaching and being a mom matter. That’s a no brainer. Teaching fired me up and got me going every day thinking about how many kids I could convince that math was cool.

But what else could matter as much?

A Budding Entrepreneur

Getting started as a graphic designer once I had a newborn meant jumping at every opportunity to create and really selling myself short most of the time. I believed in myself but wasn’t sure others would. Looking back now, there were times when I absolutely worked for free, barely covering my expenses. This is what so many graphic designers do, especially since it’s such a saturated market. I yearned to create and this was filling my need to work and contribute to my family.

Now I know the value of my work, and I know the value of my time. Having kids means learning a new way of life and wondering where all the time has gone. Raising kids means making choices about how to spend time with them and balance work as well.

Sales were important, but something that used to make me squeamish. I have found now that when it’s tied in to something I believe in and am passionate about, my heart is all in. It has been scary to put myself out there and market what I do – graphic design and now blogging and running the RGV Moms Blog.

ARG Photographs

Taking Myself Seriously

Working from home has meant a constant struggle and exploration with boundaries. Where in the house should I work? First it was a little corner closet where I would try and work really early in the morning and then late at night. Ideally the kids would be sleeping. This wasn’t always the case. Mostly they all napped at different times and woke up throughout the night for years.

Then I moved into the kitchen so I could watch and interact with the kids while hoping to sneak in a few minutes of editing here and creating there. That was a bust.

So I bought a cute little desk and claimed a corner of the living room. This was a huge step in the right direction but that, too, did not last. By this time I had my third son, born before my oldest turned three. Now working from home meant leaning more and more on my husband, my mother, and my mother-in-law to help watch and play with the kids so I could steal a couple of hours of work here and there to fill orders and manage the blog. It really does take a village.

Finally a Blogging Mom

I started blogging with my first born, just so my family could see pictures and hear funny stories. Secretly I dreamed about having readers that sought out my stories and couldn’t wait to read what I was going to post next. So when my friend asked if I’d join her moms blog in early 2014 I couldn’t think of a better hobby.

The hobby quickly became much more than that. I still remember my husband asking me beforehand how involved I was going to be. He knew me too well. I don’t just sit on the bench. I was all in. First a contributor, then an editor, then I partnered up with my friend to be co-owner of the blog and help manage every aspect of it.

Our moms blog is a great platform for reaching local moms. I feel like we have a tremendous opportunity and also a great responsibility to connect moms and really develop community. This is something that matters. This blog is important and it is serving a greater sphere than just my own.

The WAHM Reality

In my mind, working from home was going to be quite romantic. We’d craft all day long and read books every hour on the hour. We do read lots of books, so there was some truth there. They’d patiently wait while I took a business call and they’d understand when I had to work on a graphic for half an hour. We’d work in tandem, all of us. Me and my boys.

Instead my house is noisy, chaotic, pretty much always littered with toys and play things, and I love it. Sure, I wish I could keep it all clean and that they could do the same.

I also work on shutting off work for dedicated family time. This has been one of my biggest hurdles. It’s hard, y’all. I think everyone can relate to the struggle with electronics invading our lives. When every single aspect of your work is tied to your phone and computer, it is even harder to unplug. It also looks like I’m doing nothing to most people, so that’s another thing.

I shied away from talking about my work for so long and worried family and friends just wouldn’t understand or give it value. It isn’t a career that fits in a neatly packaged box. I now feel courage to embrace what I do and talk anyone’s ear off about it if they are willing to listen. I love that I have been afforded a chance to raise my kids and carve time out of every day to manage my virtual entrepreneurship.

I hope that any woman considering a similar path knows that it take commitment. It takes a village. But it also takes belief in yourself and many, many cups of coffee for late nights and early mornings, and it is all very much worth it.

Doesn't Anastasia's story leave you wanting more! Me too!! When we teased Anastasia's blog last week, she received a virtual standing ovation from the internet - it was heart warming to see. She has obviously touched so many lives - I am honored she lent her story to our Sister Stories of Hope.

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Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 12/19/16 Catia Holm 12/19/16

The Courage to Become | Adrienne Hodge

The Courage to Overcome Barriers as an Artist

People often ask me how I make time be an artist as the mother of two small children. Most of the time this question comes from other moms or other artists, and it’s an important one for those who want to keep producing art while juggling real life, kids, and obligations that decidedly are not art.

How can we overcome the internal obstacles that all artists already face in the process of art making, while overcoming the external roadblocks that all new moms face when attempting to do anything productive outside of motherhood? The answer isn’t a simple one.

When I first left my job as a middle school art teacher to stay home with my first child three and a half years ago, I was terrified. I felt like a fraud. I had an identity crisis. I thought if I wasn’t an art teacher, who was I? I didn’t want to be just a mom.

It is not in my nature to devote all of my energy to keeping my home fully functioning. At the end of the day as a stay at home mom, I was bored. I wasn’t stimulated mentally or creatively. I thrive on routine, and so I became obsessed with my daughter’s daily routine for naps and bedtime, and then wildly annoyed when they were disrupted. I was in the middle of a fantastic bout with postpartum anxiety, but I didn’t realize it until I was out of that phase and looking back on the experience.

Now that my second baby is six months old, I am fully aware of my tendencies for nervous, fretting, worrisome anxiety. It all boils down to control and self-care for me. The less control I have over a situation, the more anxious I become, but if I have an abundance of self-care opportunities, then I can better cope with my lack of control over things in my life. Although, as any new mom will tell you, that formula is complicated to execute with tiny humans in the mix.

In motherhood, the best-laid plans are completely and constantly being overturned and opportunities for self-care are often impossible to extract from days that rotate around caring for others. Under these circumstances, creating art can seem a hopeless endeavor.

But, when I went back to work teaching community art classes to adults, I learned something, and I was elated. Suddenly, I had this opportunity to reinvent myself and reassume the identity I had been missing.

My adult students seemed to view me in a way that only a few of my middle school students ever did and my confidence soared immediately. I began to set a new loftier goal for myself—something I had lied to myself about every really wanting. I wanted become an active artist (i.e. create new work on a regular basis, show my work publicly and become a networking member of the artist community in Austin and beyond). Sure, I made art as a public school teacher—project examples for my classes mostly and in the summers I’d START a big painting, but usually never finish it.

I began to approach my art making practice as just that—a practice. If my job is being an artist, then I have to work whether I feel like showing up for my job or not. Like Picasso said—“Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.”

Even before I became a mother, making art wasn’t easy. But procrastination was. I once made a list of all of the things I do when I’m procrastinating making art—finding the perfect music, making the perfect cup of tea, cleaning my workspace, etc.—and then I got real with myself and realized that all of the procrastinating was just a lot of busy work that masks the fear of making bad art.

But bad art isn’t something to be afraid of, and it’s all part of the process—practice, setbacks, lessons learned, and new course correction. And once mom-artists recognize how precious their creation time is, a lot of the course correction becomes automatic—one of the tools we pick up naturally and add to our tool belt by default of becoming mothers.

Now, instead of cleaning my workspace or making the perfect cup of whatever and waiting for the muse to arrive, I started to just shove the mess on my desk aside, sit down with my tepid cup of coffee and get busy drawing. Some days, I may only have however long the baby nap generally lasts and I probably still need to shower, but I have to work on my art.

My art practice has become everything now.

It’s not just a therapy or an outlet for my anxiety and a sanctuary of self-care from the unrealistic expectations of motherhood in our modern era; it’s my livelihood and my identity. The lovely side effect of devoting myself whole-heartedly to this goal of art making was that my class sizes at the Dougherty Arts School where I teach drawing and painting suddenly grew around the same time my paradigm shift in personal art production occurred. I am consistently at max capacity at the start of a new class, and that had been far from the case at first. As if overnight, I had a large mailing list of students. Word of mouth is a beautiful thing.

I now share my secrets and tips for building confidence and a daily or regular art practice with all of my students or anyone who will listen, and I find this audience to be extremely grateful of my encouragement and support in this area.

I read positive art affirmations to my classes out loud while they draw and paint. I approach the class like the best yoga instructors I know structure their classes—by supporting students with a relaxed and non-judgmental atmosphere in order to help them let go of critical inner dialogue, release expectations and explore their own self-guided practice.

Sometimes my classes end up feeling like a therapy session, and I love that. People find themselves, build confidence and grow before my eyes. I think part of my journey is learning to take credit for that though.

Recently, I’ve had some “Aw, no—that was all you!” moments when students have said I was the reason they were able to surprise themselves with their painting or drawing abilities, but as I type this I realize I should probably use the line I often feed them when they start to be self-deprecating about their work—“Thanks, I worked really hard on that.”

To bring it all back around to motherhood though, I’d say my mantras for a successful art practice could be applied to my practices as the confident mother whose shoes I’m still growing into.

The key for me is setting my expectations for myself extremely low.

Yeah, you read that right, and I often say that to my students, too. “Don’t aim for the moon. Aim for the end of the lawn and maybe you’ll land among the stars. Plus, the moon is closer to the earth than the stars, so that platitude is really scientifically incorrect anyway!”

Seriously though, we expect too much of ourselves. When we let ourselves off the hook, release expectations and find a niche in our day to day that is realistic and enjoyable, that’s where we generally find peace. I am still on my path to becoming the artist I want to be, and I’m sure I always will be. It’s a long road, and I find solace in that. The joy and growth happen along the way in the most unexpected ways. “Mistakes are opportunities for growth” is something I used to say to my middle school students, but I don’t think I really owned it until I threw myself headfirst into my own art journey.

Sometimes I really do attempt to approach a day of mom-artisthood with the expectation that I will fail at getting anything done. On days when I can only make it up to the studio space I now share with another talented and inspiring artist-mom if I bring my son with me, I set out knowing it’s going to be a struggle. I put him in the pack n’ play I leave there for him, and I may only get 20 minutes of actual work done over the course of a few hours, but it doesn’t matter. The success is in the attempt.

Just showing up is what matters. I have so much patience when it comes to learning and teaching, it amazes me. I wish I could apply that kind of patience to other areas of my life. I still feel like a fraud at times. I still have a hard time taking myself seriously as an artist. There is a fine line in the mind of the creative between egotistical grandeur and crippling self-doubt.

As a mother, you can find me guzzling my glass of wine after the tantrum orchestra that is the toddler-baby bedtime at my house thinking, “Well, I kept them alive today—that’s all that matters, right?” It sounds like another joke, but it IS what matters. When I spend hours I feel I don’t have to spare on a piece of art that doesn’t work and I decide to scrap it, I can choose to see those as wasted hours or be grateful for the valuable practice and growth I just experienced as an artist.

Likewise, as a mother, when I spend an hour trying to leave the house to run an errand that doesn’t happen that day because of a diaper-blowout-turned-unexpected-naptime or epic tantrum that leaves me staring into space, I have a similar choice in regards to perspective.

Being an artist, a part-time art teacher, and a full time stay-at-home-mom means I have to choose to make the time for my art career, to set aside my fears of making bad art, to power through past exhaustion, illness, bad moods and procrastinating tendencies.

I have to schedule blocks of work time around my busy business owner husband’s schedule at times when he can be home with both kids, pump breast milk for the baby, schedule babysitters, bring the toddler or the baby to the studio with me, play cartoons for hours longer than I care to admit in order to meet a deadline or work out an idea, and stay up late into the night when everyone else is asleep. I have to not care what anyone thinks about my messy house, my laundry piles, and the takeout meals or whatever unrealistic expectations I feel I’m not meeting as a mother.

When I look back on these years of early motherhood, I know it will be a blur and I know I will think fondly of the magical cuteness and sigh heavily at the hard-but-worth-it aspect of it all.

Although, the most incredible thing that keeps me going is that something in me switched on when I became a mother.

At a time when it would have been so easy to hit the snooze button, I decided to start dreaming bigger for myself and chasing some lifetime goals I could have easily put off until the nebulous time period when kids become easier to raise.

It’s as if I was such a huge procrastinator that I thought if I don’t challenge myself at one of the most challenging times in my life to do this, I never will.

Throughout this post, I’ve started to list the tricks I employ to get and stay busy on my creative work, but they are so idiosyncratic, I’m not sure they would apply to anyone else, but I’m going to do it anyway:

· I work small: I keep small bags of drawing pens and pencils, my nicer inks in one bag, small sketchbooks I can take anywhere, etc. I pull them out when I’m sitting on the couch watching crap television.

· I’m constantly researching and connecting with art: Instead of scrolling through my phone mindlessly, I search Pinterest, Tumblr or Instagram for lesson planning ideas or resources to send to my students or ideas to inspire my own art. I don’t try to overachieve like I used to with lesson plans. I take screenshots and drop them into a slideshow to share with my classes. I look at the art of others all the time. They say good writers read a lot, and I think a good artist should stay connected to art all times. I recently traded some art prints for some gorgeous glasswork of another artist who found me on Instagram. Pulling from and putting back into the local and global art community is so important. I truly believe in the law of attraction, and I think supporting other artists in any way I can will only result in the growth of my own art career.

· I keep repetitive habits: I know I thrive on routine, and I know what my procrastinating pitfalls are, so I do what I’ve found works for me and I do so religiously. I listen to a certain podcast pretty much every time I sit down to really accomplish work on a project (Marc Maron’s WTF podcast or sometimes On Being with Krista Tippett).

Most importantly—I actively nurture and fuel the positive inner dialogue in my mind, and listen to the inner critic just enough to move away from what isn’t working in my art without bemoaning the loss of time and energy.

I practice constantly, and recognize that if something is off, I’m probably out of practice.

I’m not lying about positive art affirmations. There is a lot to be gained from saying “I am an artist. I am a creative genius!” to yourself and believing it.

All of these tricks really boil down to this, too. It’s an attitude.

A personal investment in your own self-compassion goes such a long way.

There is a thing we all wish we could do if personal ability wasn’t an obstacle and most of the time acknowledging that inner critic and nurturing yourself anyway will make it happen—sometimes overnight, and sometimes in the midst of the most challenging self-care epoch of your life!

Woah!! What an amazing piece of writing, right? I found myself idenitfying with so many points and also feeling completely inspired. I hope you did too! xo- catia

Connect with Adrienne here!

Moon Gallery Instagram / Facebook / Adrienne Hodge / Etsy / Moon Gallery Studio

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Want to start feeling really good but not sure where to start? Jump on into our virtual classroom (complimentary of course!) and get a weekly guide on how to walk with confidence and joy! You are divine. You are magic. I look forward to serving you!

Catia Holm 12/12/16 Catia Holm 12/12/16

The Courage to Become | Erin Ruoff

Tell us a little bit about yourself:

I'm Erin and I came to Austin at almost 6 years ago to get out of the little bubble I was living in. I needed some “weird” in my life and boy, does Austin dish it out. Within five years here I years got hitched, moved to the burbs and had a baby. A quick 5 years! I'm a mom and agency owner by day and a blogger by night. My day normally consists of a Starbucks caramel macchiato, chasing the little chunk around the house, managing to help run an advertising agency and manage a household, followed by some home-cooked food, and then finishing off the day with the Bachelorette, netflix or a movie.

My blog Hi Lovely is a place to share outfits, babies, treats and travels. Focused on photography, fashion and greater well-being of this new mama's life. You'll find me easily seduced by a lovely cup of coffee, a well designed hand bag or a margarita. I might be covered in baby poop one day and diamonds the next. Thus the life of a mom who blogs.

What was one thing you always dreamt of doing, were afraid to do, but did anyway?

I’ve always dreamt of having a boutique or successful fashion blog. I yearned over the gorgeous photos of Blair Eadie and A Beautiful Mess. I would spend my breaks running a boutique (for an awful company) and just longed to have a blog like theirs – so full of life and fun. Thankfully my husband helped me pick a name, bought the domain and I started by taking pictures outside work. Nothing fancy but it felt right!

How did it feel getting started?

It was scary. I lost my job a month or so after I started the blog. I got fired, y’all. And I was scared. Scared of what I was going to tell my parents. Scared of what my husband would say. Being laid off for giving my mom a “friends and family discount.” A discount that was sewn into the company culture. I was devastated. I sat on the ground of our rental and “let go and let God.” I prayed for answers, guidance and strength. That day my husband offered me a piece of the advertising agency he owned and I got off the floor and started blogging.

Tell us about some of the obstacles you faced when you got started blogging?

Lots of obstacles: time management, maintaining a regular posting schedule, taking quality pictures, etc. etc. But the biggest thing was self esteem. I worried so much about what others would think of me posting photos of myself. I’m no model nor to I pretend to be and I didn’t want people to think that’s what I was doing. I really just love playing dress up and putting together outfits. I had to get over that and it took a while. I love who I am and the outfits I put on. I hope that my “friends” see that and those that don’t can unfollow me.

What motivates you to be a life and style blogger?

My blogger friends in the mommy and style business are so motivating. They just show that the industry of fashion is changing from fashion shows and glorious magazine ads to fashion bloggers of all shapes and sizes. They radiate happiness, yet are so real and are able to blog full time. It’s an amazing feeling to get your first big client that sees who you are and wants you to showcase their brand. I know God had plans for me to do something creative and I think this is it.

Which living person do you most admire?

My dad. He’s had hard times and worked his life to the top of the newspaper business only to be laid off due to the demise of the industry. He got back up at 50 and got a great job. Though it might not be his passion, he persevered and didn’t let the age statistics of unemployment get him down. He’s the greatest grandfather to my son. Though we don’t see eye to eye on politics, we still are able to have rational conversations and I love that about him. He also taught me to love sports, writing and photography. It pretty much runs in our blood.

Which talent would you most like to have?

Singing. I’m terrible. And the natural ability to talk on camera. I get this weird girly, high-pitched voice when the red light comes on. I don’t know how to stop….

What is your most marked characteristic?

I’m a very loyal friend. Once you have me in your tribe, I’m a lifer.

What is your motto?

Let go and Let God. And my funny one “Hi Lovely!” (You automatically smile saying it.)

What are some things you are proud to have accomplished?

Being a Social Media Director of a million dollar ad agency, running social media for Austin’s largest parenting resource and getting off my feet when I hit rock bottom to accomplish those two things.

What are some hopes you have for your future?

I’d love to make an honest living from blogging. Although our agency is our main income, it’d be nice to have a second income so we can tuck a little more away and start really contributing to charities around town.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women who are about to embark on the journey you are on?

“Let go and let God” guide you to your blogging journey. Don’t let self-esteem, nay-sayers or competitors get you down. Trust in Him to see the value in YOU and what YOU are doing. Don’t be afraid to “pitch” a companyeven if you have small numbers. Do spend time growing your audience and engaging with your followers. And don’t EVER let it be chore! Have fun.

Essay by: Erin Ruoff

It seems like BECOMING the woman you were meant to be isn't easy for anyone! Each one of our roads has speed bumps and turns and sometimes outright blocks! But as Erin showed us, it's possible to get up and RISE.

Thanks, Erin!!!

You can find Erin at Hi Lovely and on Instagram and Facebook.

love!

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 12/5/16 Catia Holm 12/5/16

The Courage to Become | Chrystie Vachon

Hi, I’m Chrystie

Married. Tattooed. Margarita Lover. Blogging Entrepreneur. Mom of 3.

I’ve spent the last 10 years making a living off the internet by starting and selling blogs. In total, I’ve sold 4 blogs and earned hundreds of thousands of dollars throughout the years as a result. I’ve blogged about celebrities, coupons, mason jar recipes, subscription boxes and many other topics…basically..I’m an equal opportunity blogger! I blog about what I love and I blog about what makes me money.

Writing this piece has really allowed me to see just how far I have come in my professional life and in my personal life.

I suppose my story begins at 4:00am on a typical work day in 2009. My two children are sleeping across the room from mine. My husband is in bed next to me and the weather outside is frosty. My alarm clock sounds, I check Twitter and Facebook by the light of my phone. I get up, get dressed, grab a cup of coffee and drive 30 minutes to the train station to catch the 5:45 am train into Boston to go to my start-up job. I was the Social Media Strategist for an up and coming mobile app and I loved it.

I’d bounce off the train at 8:15am (yes that’s almost 3 hours one way) and get back on the train at 5:45 to arrive home at 8:15pm. Several nights a week I didn’t even make it home before 10:00pm because I would attend networking events to further my career and my place in my field. On the nights I did make it home, my children would be in bed already and my husband would be watching TV. I’d sit down on the opposite sofa and open up my computer and continue to work until midnight.

If I’m being honest, at the time, I didn’t see anything wrong with that lifestyle. I didn’t see anything wrong with working so much. As a matter of fact it made me feel important and needed. My mother worked a lot when I was a child, carrying at least 2 jobs at a time. It’s all I ever knew.

It wasn’t until my marriage dissolved that I realized the toll that my career driven lifestyle had taken on my life. All of a sudden I was a 32 year old divorced single mom who had missed the last several years of her children’s life in exchange for an impressive resume. But a resume wasn’t going to piece my family back together.

Truth be told…I never felt ‘good’ at motherhood. I never was the mushy gushy kind of mom that all of my friends were. I didn’t yearn to be home with my children. That didn’t come naturally to me. What did come naturally was being an employee. Being a star employee who got raises and praise. I was the type of person who needed that type of encouragement. And as most moms know…you don’t get that encouragement when you are staying home. You get screaming children. Messy living rooms and mountains of laundry. It’s hard and work was my escape.

Shortly after my divorce, I left my job in Boston. Commuting 3 hours each way just wasn’t an option anymore. It wasn’t good for my new family dynamic. And so instead, I started a small consulting business and worked with clients until I started a blog, which as luck would have it, allowed me to make a full time salary while staying home. For the first time in my life, I was able to drop my kids off at school, and be there when they got off the bus. Take time out of my day to attend school plays and pick them up from school when they were sick. I got to make up for all those times when I couldn’t do those things.

The courage to become the mother I always wanted to be meant redefining my definition of success. I no longer needed a boss to tell me I was great.

I no longer needed a high paying salary to tell me I was worth it.

Now my definition of success is being able to live life on my terms and give my children my most valuable asset, time.

The Courage to Become | Crystal Ngumezi

The Courage to Become Set Apart

I had the courage to become set apart back in 2014, but allow me the opportunity to share with you how I got there:

I’m a Texas native with a Nigerian background. You don’t hear that often, now do you? I was born and raised in Houston, TX with a Nigerian upbringing; both my parents are from the country of Nigeria in West Africa, making me a product of immigrants. Growing up in Texas with Nigerian roots made for a very interesting childhood experience, one that I feel shaped me into the woman I am today. I learned that being different was okay, and that being different made me stronger and more qualified for the life that God had set up for me. My parents taught me that discipline and hard work would serve me well in the future, and as a young business-minded individual today, I can honestly say that it has.

Growing up, I always had a knack for mathematics and creativity, so when I was about 17 years old, I made the decision to pursue Mechanical Engineering as an undergraduate degree. In 2013, I received my B.S. in Mechanical Engineering from the University of Texas at San Antonio. During my undergraduate experience at UTSA, I was able to travel the country and intern for various companies during my summer breaks. After graduation, I received the opportunity to work for a notable fortune 500 company in Fort Worth, TX, as a manager in training, where I later became a full-time technical manager. In my young career, I’ve had the privilege of serving in 2 different managerial positions for 2 different companies. However, I can’t attribute my professional success to my own deeds. It has truly been the work of God moving in my life that provided me with these various opportunities to build my professional portfolio at such a young age.

With all of this being said, back to 2014, where my real story began:

In 2014, I made the radical decision to quit my day job and move back home to Houston, TX. I made this decision in order to pursue my purpose and to follow Christ. Sounds pretty crazy huh? Not quite.

At the time, I was doing pretty well for myself in my career. The money I earned was great, the benefits were awesome, and I was well taken care of as a younger employee.

So you might be left asking, “Why did you quit then?” Well, I’m happy you asked. The problem was that while working in my career, I experienced many internal struggles.

It was like I was at war with myself. I knew that God had a great calling on my life, but I didn’t know how my job and career at the time lined up with that calling. This internal war I experienced on the inside, along with many other battles I was facing simultaneously, led me into a state of mental depression. I literally became sick as a direct result of not following my purpose. I thought I would have been able to cope with this mental illness, but as I continued my work in that field, my depression became worse, and my desire to leave became stronger. When my depression started to affect my work, I knew I had a very important decision to make.

I knew the cause of my illness, and I knew it was severe. What I didn’t know was how I was going to make the critical decision to quit my job, and ultimately to leave my career. What made this decision even harder for me was that due to my success as a training manager, my job offered me a high raise and promotion. Talk about a test! Despite this tantalizing offer, I made the ultimate decision to decline and resign as a manager at that company. I chose to follow God’s will for my life and walk away from my career.

This was not an easy decision to make.

Moving back home was not in my plans - but it was in God’s plans. My friends and family were all in awe of my decision, but I knew that God was leading me. Despite the opposition I faced as a direct result of this decision, I had the courage to become Set Apart.

In The Bible, the term “set apart” means to be separated from what is common and deemed normal - to be chosen. The decision I made to leave what was familiar to me demanded my total surrender to what God had planned for me. I didn’t understand what I was walking into back then, but I knew that my life was radically about to be changed forever.

Now I know that for some of you reading this story, you may find the decision I made to quit my job quite questionable. It was a drastic move, but as a believer, I can truly attest to the fact that the decision I made back in 2014 saved my life.

Jesus saved my life, and he healed me from my mental depression.

Back in 2014, I made the decision to no longer live for myself, but instead to live for God and his purposes for my life. Through my radical obedience to God’s will, I found my true identity in Christ, and I experienced supernatural healing on multiple levels.

One of those levels being my mental health. The healing process I experienced as a direct result of following God’s will was not an overnight thing; God led me out of a state of depression and fear, and into a state of peace and serenity, through months of restoration. Because of my depression, I had forgotten what it was like to live free and victorious. The one thing I had put all of my trust and energy into - my mind, my smarts, and my intelligence - had ultimately failed me. I didn’t see a doctor, and I wasn’t prescribed any medication - God healed me. After God healed my mind, he began to heal my spirit, and ultimately the rest of my body.

In 2015, I began my spiritual walk with the Lord, and encountered various tests and trials along the way. I had my experience of dead ends, faulty relationships, and disappointments, all in an effort to show and to teach me how to follow Jesus the correct way. I’ve had my fair share of bumps and bruises along this journey, but God has always been in my corner cheering me on. He never gave up on me and he always encourages me to keep on fighting. When I would experience situations targeting my fleeting depression in the past, he would come through for me in ways I can’t even tell you. I am now learning how to trust and depend on God in every way. Due to the tests and trials I have experienced, I can honestly say that I have become a stronger woman and an ambassador of Faith.

And today I am joyful and blessed to be here. I can truly attest to the fact that God is faithful, and that He rewards those who diligently seek him. I’m still young and in my prime, but I can truly say that God has begun a good work in me. I can see the fruits of his work. He uses me to mentor young women, and to minister to people I would have never met otherwise. I’m now mentally, spiritually, and physically healthy, and I have peace in my life - not a worldly peace - but the peace that surpasses all understanding.

Whatever you are going through and whatever season you are in, know that God has a plan for you. He had a plan for me, and I would have never found it had I not sought his will. Don’t let fear rob you of experiencing and enjoying a great, purpose-filled life. It’s never too late to make the decision to follow Christ.

My hope in sharing my story with you is that you will take what I have experienced, and use it as fuel to activate your own personal desires to live in the life that God has called you to. I pursued purpose and it changed my life.

Thanks for reading, and God bless you.

Essay by: Crystal Ngumezi

From Crystal:

I have a blog on my online website, crystalngumezi.com, that I use to encourage people to live healthy lives, offering healthy recipes and ways to easily prepare them, along with posts encouraging women to live in the fullness of the Proverbs 31 woman, and informative tips for people pursuing purpose.

I also publish weekly devotionals on my other website, lifeloveandinspirationblog.com, where I teach Christians about Jesus, spreading The Gospel.

Apart from my personal websites, I’m a freelance writer on MyTrendingStories.com, where I write articles relating to business, news and technology. I’m also working on a non-profit organization for young women, which will provide them with professional mentorship and professional development training, scheduled to launch next year.

You can follow me on all social media platforms @crystalngumezi, and follow and like my Facebook page @CrystalNgumeziBlog.

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 11/8/16 Catia Holm 11/8/16

The Courage to Become | Laura Morsman-Churchill

The Courage to Become a Business Owner + Enjoy it

Hey there! My name is Laura Morsman-Churchill, I created Laura Morsman Photography, my destination editorial photography company -- in 2013 when I first moved to Austin by total accident after years of working as a manager for Anthropologie! I am originally from Kansas City live in Austin, Texas with my music teacher husband John, and our two pups, Mr. Hitchens and Muffy!

Being the 2nd oldest child of 6 in my family, (with the youngest two currently 10 years old) many of my clients ask me how I can keep my calm in the middle of the chaos of working with so many people, and I always refer back to the incredibly beautiful circus living in a big family does to a person. You just go with the flow ;)

One thing I was afraid of doing but did anyway was….

Definitely starting my own business, but up until it happened, I had no idea that it was what I wanted to be doing!! I never had dreams of being an entrepreneur or a business owner. I went to college to become a child psychologist and art therapist, and left my senior year after a traumatic life event two semesters away from graduating. I honestly had no goal to be a photographer, and no clear direction with a career path. When people started asking me if I would photograph their families (after they saw me photograph my own big family), I just never said no, and now I'm here! It was definitely/honestly was a case of "fake it till you make it".

Getting started felt…

Absolutely crazy. I had been so conditioned to working a 40+ hour week, managing a team, setting monetary sales goal, with a bi-monthly paycheck and health insurance. When it came to the point where I grew to have each of my weekends taken up by photo shoots, my husband was absolutely the one responsible for pushing me past my comfort zone and finally stepping down as manager, to a part time employee, and finally taking my leave after almost 5 years with a company I truly loved.

My business wouldn't exist without that terrifying leap and definitely wouldn't have happened if my husband hadn't had been there to push me off the ledge of self-doubt.

Obstacles I faced getting started…

Oh man. Where to start. When I first started my photography business, I don't want to say that I didn't have confidence, I feel like that was one thing I did have because I didn't intend to be a photographer at all! With that, if I ever did get a push back or even just a question from a potential client about my prices, ideas, location options, I shrank on the inside.

Learning how to stand by what I was offering was one of the hardest details for me but once I got it, and knew that what I was offering was valuable, that was such a great area of growth that shifted my entire business. Dividing my actual worth and my business has been an incredibly hard but extremely powerful journey for me.

I am motivated by…

My love for people motivates me to keep photographing them. Knowing the intricacy and quickness of life keeps my mind desiring to document it as much as I can.

The most pivotal moment in my life to date was my closest friend suddenly passing away when I was 18. I had taken a photo of him hours before he was killed, and realizing how important that moment caught in time was to me, I think of how people view their loved ones, and I want to capture every ounce of spirit in my clients lives that I can.

We aren't promised anything in life, but we get into grooves where it feels as if we will have all that is around us forever. I do my best to document this world through the eyes of loving it so much, and then I give that viewpoint back to my clients. I love it so so much.

The living person I admire most is…

Without a doubt, it's Ellen DeGeneres. Despite the adversity she found herself in at the very start of her career, she persevered through the doubt and absolute judgement people put up against her best efforts and showed the world how to love, smile, and laugh, even amidst people's small mindedness or life's pains. Look at that shining, loving light of a person now and how many lives she has changed. She was always Ellen, and she knew that 100% without anyone's acceptance. It just took the world years to realize how much she had to share.

I would most like to have the talent to…

I would love to have the opposite of stage fright when it comes to singing!! My mom was an opera singer, and taught me the craft! I absolutely love LOVE singing... and in a former or future life, that would be what I'd be doing! One of these days you'll find me on a stage or at an outdoor venue singing a tune or two ;)

My most marked characteristic is…

I have been told often that I am very tolerant/patient. That totally makes me laugh though! I definitely go back to the whole large family bit. You can't be impatient when 5 people need dinner, want to play outside, are missing a shoe, trying to ride the dog like a horse, or need their seat belt buckled!

A motto I try to live by is…

As simple as it is, it's "Live and let live". In our life we always seem to wait for others to accept the way/path/route we've chosen before we accept it as OK for ourselves. Especially in a world where our lives are encouraged to be documented in portfolio form through social media and shown to the entire world essentially awaiting their approval. You do you and I'll do me, and let's just love each other through understanding, or if there isn't that, through acceptance and respect.

Some things I am proud to have accomplished are…

Hmm... That's hard to have an answer to! For me, my biggest accomplishments in my mind were emotional rather than career focused. My high school and college years were my toughest and some I almost didn't make it through. Accepting the recovery path after almost losing my life to anorexia and deciding to live past the pain in losing friends at an early age to me were things I never thought I could endure. I am still in awe of being on this side of those seasons and am more thankful than ever to be able to relate and walk with those going through the same experiences.

Some hopes I have for my future are…

I don't really know! It takes a lot for me to stay in the present. I love where I am, and if I could do this forever, I would! I am so happy with where this hustle has gotten me, I love my life. At this point, I get to travel to see my family, experience my youngest siblings growing up, and things keep getting better. I would love to photograph families, wedding and fashion all around the world. And I'm doing that! My hope for the future would be continued opportunities and continual expansion of where my photography finds itself!

One piece of advice I would give women about to embark on this journey is…

I talk about this all the time when people are approaching photography as a business, a blog, anything. You can't go into it with others’ opinions or acceptances being your compass or scale of your value or success. You go into something like this accepting success or failure with the same open arms, and also realizing that this isn't your only skill, your only value, or your only purpose. Someone asked me on a podcast interview if I had a plan B, and if I did, then I wasn't a real photographer. My answer was that if I didn't have a plan B, then I was shortchanging myself on my own abilities, because I am so much more than a photographer and if I needed to, I would totally dive into anything else I love doing!

The second part to this is the most important to me -- It's loving others and embracing their success despite your own. Your business shouldn't adjust your heart towards others, and if anything, it should stretch it. As hard as it is, try to nix competition and embrace encouragement.

If you tend to compare, put yourself down, and lose your steam when you are watching other's success -- don't watch others. If you find yourself feeling like a failure when you see others on Instagram seemingly soaring with their pursuits and business, do yourself a favor and shut that app OFF!

You do you, no one else can take that uniqueness away from you! Soon enough you'll see that your own ideas and the way you approach, brand, document your work will have its own personality since it isn't being squelched or influenced by people walking their own unique paths!

Essay by: Laura Morsman-Churchil

I am honored to know Laura, she is a gem of a person. Right?! Can't you just feel her peace. I think it's so powerful.

Run don't walk to Laura! You'll be glad you did!!!! She's based in Austin, but travels the country! Maybe she'll stop in your neck of the woods next!!

Laura Morsman Photography / Facebook / Instagram

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 11/1/16 Catia Holm 11/1/16

The Courage to Become | Sarah Donovan

The Courage to Face Anxiety + Help Women Rise

As a young girl, you could find me painting flowers or vintage VOGUE covers. I guess you could say that was the beginning of my career as an artist. And all along the way, my mom encouraged me to keep a paintbrush in my hand. Even though I tried my hand at other things, my heart always lead me back to painting.

I knew I loved art and design AND I have always had a desire to be with people and love people.

My parents were always caring for others and their family members so I have them to thank for this characteristic.

In 2006 I was blessed with the opportunity to share this love for people by visiting Uganda on a mission trip. My goal was to share love with Ugandans, but these beautiful people showed me a love that is truly indescribable.

During college, I went through a series of rough patches. I enjoyed partying and boys more than studying for a period of time. (Anybody else?) And after some questionable decisions, I came to the realization that I wasn't loving myself.

Shortly after this fun phase, I met my precious husband Andrew. And a year after graduating college (babies!), we were married.

I knew I loved Andrew when we got married, but through life's challenges, I have really gotten to know his loyalty – and I admire him the most. He is my rock, and literally the other half of me. I admire his ability to lead without being cocky, his kindness, and his love for myself and our son.

I struggled to find a job so I started teaching art at a local art school. While teaching, I took freelance creative jobs and began my stationery business, The Stationery Bakery.

At first I focused on wedding invitations and over the past few years the business had transformed and now I illustrate greeting cards, prints, and home + gift items.

But while that is my passion career wise, I also have an insane passion for loving my husband and kid.

After becoming a mom, and experiencing some personal hardships, I discovered my drive to support and love women.

Let’s rewind to 2014.

While I had a seemingly healthy pregnancy, I experienced anxiety around ultrasound appointments. And even after determining everything was fine, I turned into a beautiful anxious mess!

During the end of my pregnancy, I was convinced I was dying. And that anxiety ramped up after having George.

I was obsessed with this kid and was constantly worried something would happen to him or myself. And after a few long months of suffering the grips of anxiety, I got help from an amazing counselor in Austin, Brett Brightwell. I experienced a total identity crisis when becoming a mom!

(The identity crisis happens to most of us ;) , only I didn’t know that.) Thankfully, I was and have been able to work through the root causes of my anxiety.

In addition to counseling, it became clear that I was dealing with postpartum anxiety and OCD and so I got on medication under the guidance of Suzanne Grantham out of Austin.

When I started to feel some relief, I decided to break my silence and speak out about my experience. Speaking out was therapeutic and I met women who struggled with similar chaos. Then, I started to find a sense of community among other women.

Seeing the importance of community among women and the growing need for mental health support, I felt inspired to start a small support group. The group is called Moms Arising and the goal is to provide a safe environment that encourages women to rise up even in the midst of challenging times.

It's so hard to be a woman.

It's brutal to be a mom.

My hope is to continue to seek for answers within myself so that my confidence will encourage other women to do the same.

My anxiety is not cured, it is still a part of my life today. I still look over my shoulder from time to time waiting for a crippling panic attack. However, I have found relief in surrounding myself with a tribe that I love and trust. And my tribe is constantly evolving because of the unique people I meet each day.

In addition to my husband and my tribe, I have found a lot of healing in my faith and personal relationship with God. I used to think of God as this judging figure shaking his head at my poor decisions – but I have come to understand him as a loving father embracing me (entirely) in every moment.

We all go through scary times, but we can use those moments to reflect and meditate. Those times are what shape who we are and who we become.

Essay by: Sarah Donovan

I feel so lucky to have Sarah share her story with us! She worked through her fears AND had the wherewithal to take action and help other women! That is the definition of amazing and community and a strong woman. Wow!!!!

Stop by and say hi to Sarah and pick up some of her GORGEOUS ART WORK !

Instagram / Facebook / The Stationery Bakery -

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 10/25/16 Catia Holm 10/25/16

The Courage to Become | Aimee Gonzalez Niebuhr

The Courage to Become Fulfilled

When Catia invited me to share my story of courage in this inspiring series, I felt relieved that she and I met during my thirtieth year of life; had she propositioned me any sooner, well, then there might not have been a story to tell. This year has been the year of my becoming.

Perhaps I am a late bloomer. Maybe it is that I spent many years devoting my gifts to nurturing the blossoming of others: my husband and our marriage, our two growing boys, my many younger siblings, and the countless people I hold dear. You see, while those who know me most intimately would tell you that I have always lived a courageous life, the truth is that I am only just beginning to break free from fear and find fulfillment.

It isn’t to say that my childhood wasn’t fulfilling. My mother, a relentlessly heroic single mama, taught me grit and perseverance. We found smiles in simplicity. I was the girl who sat beneath the crooked branches of the mesquite trees in my South Texas backyard filling my journal with poetry. In the fifth grade, I earned the title of “Texas Rising Star” and had a poem published. It was my first taste of seeing my words in print. I was hooked. When interviewed at an awards banquet and asked whom I planned to be when I grew up, I confidently proclaimed that I would be a journalist and published author. In my ten-year-old heart, it was destiny. What could ever stand in my way?

Yet, over the course of my life, my fearlessness faded. My poetry became darker; my journals more filled with angst, until, at last, writing ceased altogether. I could tell you of all of the experiences that diminished my feminine power: the assaults upon my body and spirit, which profoundly affected my self worth for years to come. Experiences that shaped my perception of the world, leading me to believe that love wasn’t truly love without pain; life couldn’t truly be lived without aching. And women were intended to slowly fade away.

But that isn’t the story I want to tell you today, and the sobering truth is, if you are a woman reading this account, you likely have your own stories of injustice layered somewhere within your soul, amongst the songs of triumph and gladness.

No, I want to tell you about the day that I decided that I was courageous enough to seek fulfillment. The moment when I realized I was bold enough to become.

Before I could begin my ascent, however, I had to stop and confront my discontent.

It is difficult as a mother to say the words aloud: I long for something more. I was living a life many dream of; a life I had dreamed of myself. A man who wanted nothing more than to provide happiness and stability loved me, fully, and I loved him in return. I was healing past wounds. Growing into myself. We had welcomed two remarkable boys into the world; their ability to see every miniscule moment as marvelous brought me profound joy. Staying home to care for and homeschool them was a gift. Life wasn’t always perfect, and it was rarely easy, but it was ours.

Yet, I continued to struggle internally with feelings of worthlessness, while wearing a brave smile for the world. I played the part of gracious wife, gentle mother, patient teacher, and with each year that passed, with every moment that I spent pouring my soul into others, I felt myself drifting further and further away from the girl who once occupied my body. The girl who dreamed. The girl who put pencil to paper and wrote the words dancing in her head. The girl who believed that everyone had a story to tell. That every voice mattered. (Even my own.)

Had I not had my daughter, I might not have ever found that girl again.

We sat in the postpartum room alone together in the stillness of the night. My new beautiful baby, hours old, felt so delicate in my embrace, somehow smaller than her two brothers had been, yet her eyes were alert with wonder. She was tiny, but she exuded power. A deeply profound sense of urgency filled me as we held each other’s gaze; an urgency to become the woman I had always imagined myself to be.

How would I ever begin to teach her that she could be anything, anything, she desired, if I could not face my fears and manifest my own desires?

In the weeks that followed the fiery urgency grew; it was as if a small spark of possibility had grown into a passionately raging fire. Though I had been able to ignore it in the years that had preceded, there was no putting it out this time. There were moments that were uncomfortable, as I reconciled the fact that motherhood alone could not sustain me. For years, I hid behind the guise of the giver, acting as though my life were too busy to be able to give to myself. Yet, it wasn’t about all of the moments spent mothering. It wasn’t even about the fear trying and failing.

I was afraid to become, because if I did, I just might discover how powerful I could truly be.

(Spoiler alert: I jumped in headfirst and did it anyway.)

Laptop balanced against my knees, my six-week-old daughter nursed eagerly at my breast as the debit card shook between my trembling fingers. I purchased my little corner of the internet. A blog. A space for the words suppressed for a decade to finally exist.

As the clock counted down to a new year, tears of gratitude streamed down my cheeks. “You can be anything you choose to become, baby girl. And I am going to show you it is true.”

It has been eleven months since that fateful night; they have been some of the most transformative of my life. As a mom who had her babies young and didn’t finish college, I’ve found the courage to apply for freelance writing jobs, and I have earned them. I’ve seen my words published and shared in places I have only dreamed of. I’ve met women who inspire me to share my truth and speak it loudly.

My stories are no longer shouting at me from the insides, begging to be written; out of my body and into the light they have come. And even if no one ever read them at all, it wouldn’t matter, because that has never been the point. There is joy in knowing they exist, because through their existence, I exist.

Not as Aimee: the once broken and now pieced-back-together girl. Not as Aimee: the wife, the mother, the friend; though coveted roles they all may be.

I exist as Aimee: the one with the divine gift.

(As each of you are also called to exist.)

And when my old companion fear begins to raise her voice? I look her in the eye. Aloud, I cry, “I am ready to accept the gifts offered to me,” tilting my head a little higher than even fear can stand.

Most of all, I am beginning to understand the gravity of Dr. Brene Brown’s message when she told us that “any gift that goes unused becomes a burden.”

I feel the weight of my longing lifting, and I have never felt more alive.

Essay by: Aimee Gonzalez Niebuhr

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 10/10/16 Catia Holm 10/10/16

The Courage to Become | Camaron Brooks

The Courage to Stand UP. Follow the yellow brick road and find your TRUTH.

Manifesting Mama - I am an uber- believer in the law of attraction. I am also a self-help junkie. I've definitely manifested things in my life. I wanted a cookie one day while working as a reporter for KRGV and no sooner did I make my mental request did a co-worker offer me one dripping with chocolate chips. Exactly what I ordered.

I dreamed about a job in TV news dating back to the fourth grade. I anchored a school-wide broadcast and loved it. I told everyone who would listen what I was going to do with my life. In college, I heard "that's tough to get into..." or "you really have to have the right look." I saw their faces. I witnessed the doubt. I kept working. I interned at CNN (once catching a glimpse of Larry King in the elevator.) I interned at KTLA and when the staffers announced a contest open to college students (including me) I applied. I told everyone at school to apply too. "Wouldn't it be so great if someone from Cal State Fullerton got picked?"

And they did! My first live shot for the contest was at the Staples Center at an L.A. Clippers game. I kept advancing as the contest continued. I met the members of the 90’s band Smash Mouth, the Los Angeles Times printed my picture. Brian McKnight even asked if I needed a ride after a tapping. I said, "No, thank you." I had a boyfriend. I also secretly hoped he didn't see my car. Zip ties held the bumper of my green Honda Civic on in two places. The winner won $25,000 dollars. I made it to the finals placing second. As the runner-up, I got a Jack in the Box Ciabatta.

That was ten years ago. The footage helped me land my first TV job in Midland, TX. I drove that beat up Honda across four states a few months later. It was tough. I grew through major self-doubt for two years before I started looking for my next job. I applied to nearly 100 jobs during the great recession. I finally found a job at KRGV in 2009. The Rio Grande Valley felt like home. I learned so much about life and myself. I made great friends and I stretched until I was 29-years-old and practically prancing around the Channel 5 newsroom talking about how I wanted a family. I wanted babies. I told everyone. I made vision boards and started seeing a counselor, a life coach and read lots of self- help and prayed. (Not to spoil the ending but... My vision came to life. I’m married with two beautiful babies.)

Detrimental determination - I've always known how much our thoughts influence our lives. If I wanted something I could make it happen. Nothing could stop me. It's one of my best/worst traits. Now that I’m turning 34 I understand my own limitations better. I certainly believe my thoughts steer my life but I now know God is the sails and the wind and the sky and the sun. Steering the ship isn't enough. I can't make it to shore alone. I probably felt like I needed to go it alone because I started moving so young. My parents moved me from Illinois to California just weeks after I was born. Then we moved overseas to Germany for a few years before moving back to Stockton, CA. I went to three elementary schools and two middle schools and in my senior year of High School my parents moved two hours south. I ended up testing out of High School and starting junior college. Everyone told me I would fail without a proper diploma. I bucked the idea. I kept working toward my goals.

I know, it’s weird—I managed to ignore so many negative voices throughout my life when I spent so much time trying desperately to make people like me. I moved so often, I needed to fit in. In fact, fitting in was my life goal. I was so embarrassed when I won awards. Or stood out. I didn’t want to give anyone a reason not to like me. I was determined to be friends with everyone. I dragged this determination into my romantic relationships. I mistakenly believed I alone could make them work. I ignored signs of trouble. I ate my feelings. I drank too much. I did anything to help me ignore my own discontentment. I believed I merely needed to control my thoughts (and I suppressed lots of feelings in the process.)

In 2011, my news director gave me a great opportunity for career growth. I would anchor weekend mornings and report three days a week. I immediately felt enormous pressure and fell into a depression. I sobbed to a co-worker the day my nephew was born. I wanted to be there. I enjoyed my work but my nephew’s arrival forced me to see what I was missing and the job was starting to force me to stand out beyond my comfort zone. My face was on all the promotional videos. My determination had gotten me into what felt like a VIP party and all I could do was grab two crab cakes and a carrot from the bountiful buffet. I was too confused and embarrassed to enjoy it. Did I really want this? Or was I just so determined to reach my goal at any cost? Did I want a family more than my old dreams? A couple of years later I got my answers. I decided I wanted a family more than a career.

Wild Spirit- I may love cardigans, reading (especially anything Oprah suggests) and quiet coffee shops but there’s also a wildness to me most people don’t always recognize. I probably don’t want people to see (the part of me that went skinny dipping in a Las Vegas pool, or who jumped out of an airplane, or who wrote a book and published it). So, I find it difficult to properly put myself out there. My book debuted without pre-orders or parties. It’s like I found an unwanted kitten, posted it on Facebook and dropped off at a shelter (convinced I’d done my due diligence.) I tried to move on but it nagged me. The book was funny and enjoyable—at least the few people who read it told me. Couldn’t I do a little more? Didn’t my story deserve my best effort?

I cried in the shower, wrote through contractions, and discovered how difficult it is for me to enjoy the moment. That’s why I started writing my story. I couldn’t be the only mom going through this massive identity crisis. Motherhood opened me up the all the ways I tried to control my thoughts and emotions. My new role tested me in every way. Pre-baby I focused on my career and the future. After baby, I needed to commit myself to living in the moment. I found comfort in retelling the stories of my reporting days while incorporating it into my new reality.

My e-book debuted almost a year ago. Today, I see how clearly I tried to hide behind the difficulties of the self-publishing. How I refused to be fully seen yet again. I didn't believe I deserved the spotlight. Sure, I could manifest a cookie but what about a successful writing career?

Get Out of the Vault- I ran tapes to and from the tape library during my internship with CNN. It was quite an elaborate system with barcodes and specifically labeled tapes. During my frequent visits to the vault I met a nice man who managed the archives. He asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I told him what I told everyone… “I wanted to be a reporter.”

“Then go where they’ll let you report.” He said. “I always wanted to be a photographer. I took this job because I thought it would get my foot in the door. That was twenty years ago.”

I heard what he was saying. I went far away from Southern California to a place where I could be a reporter. I learned the craft and sharpened my skills. Over the years I started to realize my favorite part of my day was the moment I sat down to WRITE. I enjoyed the other aspects of my job, especially hearing all the amazing stories from the people I met. BUT I was called to write. Writing felt sacred. I continued to write online after I left the business because I remembered those words.

If you want to be a singer (for example) go ahead and take the job in the mailroom at Sony Records only if you’re singing in church, coffee shops and on the street. Don’t take the job and wait for someone to give you a chance to sing. You’ll never get it. Start doing what you love TODAY.

As the saying goes…“comfort is a hard habit to break.” Stay far away from the vault!

Limiting Beliefs - Parenting certainly finds a way to show you what you believe. I stood in the middle of a Toys-R-Us when one of my limiting beliefs smacked me around. Brandon held tightly to a Paw Patrol Control tower. We’d just given him a very expensive battery-operated truck. "Brandon, you can't have everything..." I told my three-year-old with conviction.

And there it was. The belief—limiting everything in my life. The idea living inside of me saying I couldn't have this amazing family AND an amazing career. Somehow I always believed I must choose. Motherhood certainly asks us to prioritize at different times our kid’s lives but my unexamined belief meant I needed to choose. Success or family. Never both.

I want my son and daughter to know the value of things and I want them to be generous. I also want them to know that they can work and eventually manifest everything their little hearts can dream up. Life is bountiful! We should all enjoy the buffet. That’s why I'm currently trying to shift my thinking away from my old limiting beliefs. I’m tired of holding myself back.

Instead of trying not to stand out, I am focusing on standing up. I'm a woman with important stories to share. Aren't we all? Doesn't every soul on this earth have a powerful, beautiful, stirring story in their heart? I know you do. I want to read your story.

My becoming will unfold until my last breath. I’ve learned so much and still have so much to learn and give. I love cheering on Catia Holm as she chases her dreams. She makes me feel like anything is possible with her brand of fearlessness and self-confidence. Plus, isn’t becoming contagious? She reminds us all to stand up for our dreams.

Trusting God’s Timing- Being in a relationship can be another way to hide. I’ve certainly hidden in my past relationships. I didn’t need to venture out and truly be myself because I was a part of a couple. I remember telling an ex-boyfriend I might want to be a teacher or a writer. He scoffed and told me “you’re a reporter.”

Ultimately, I ended that relationship in order to find my own happiness. I left in a blur of tears and suffered a miscarriage in the middle of the breakup. (For a woman, praying for a family it was shocking and painful.) Looking back I see how God was whispering for me to trust Him and His timing.

My husband was the first man who didn't try to control me. He’s excited if I tell him I'm going to write a children's book, or a screenplay, or launch a podcast. (Or whatever I've dreamt up this week.) He's my number one supporter and fan. I'm his too. But now, I'm determined to become my own biggest cheerleader. I've started writing articles and sharing them. I revived a blog site and started the process of pitching a picture book manuscript to agents. I am embracing the process and loving the excitement of not knowing WHEN everything will come together.

There's no choice between my family AND success. The world is big enough and bright enough for me to celebrate both. I'm finally standing up—Guys, I’m back in line at the buffet table and I’m going straight for the chocolate chip cookies. Life really is sweet.

A little ditty about courage and motherhood…

There is nobody more courageous than a mother. We’re asked to let go from our baby’s first breath. I remember holding my tummy and missing the baby inside hours after giving birth. Pregnant no more. We feed twelve times a day and get used to watching our angels sleep in our arms. Then seemingly out of nowhere they’re too heavy to hold. It’s time to roll over. It’s time to stack and clap and laugh out loud. Then we get lulled into thinking this is how life will be. An ear infection hits. We lose sleep. Teeth break through. Weeks crawl then so do our babies. We lose time letting go of our ideas of what motherhood would be like. We adjust to what it’s really like. We let go of everything we can no longer juggle. We let go of our expectations. We become things we never thought we would. We become ourselves. We become just like our mothers. We become courageous as we watch our loves teeter on their own feet for the first time. Then we’re asked to say goodbye to a baby and greet a toddler with birthday cake and balloons.

More change. We’re asked to let go of their hands when they want to play at the park with friends. We’re asked to let go of picking out their clothes when they decide what to wear. We’re asked to change the radio when they don’t like a song anymore. We’re asked to let go of who we were and who we thought they should be. We’re asked to let go of knowing what will happen. We’re asked to reckon with our own limitations. We can’t always protect them. We try. We pray. We let go a little more. We’re asked to let go of everything we once believed about parenting. We thought we’d never…fill in the blank. We’re asked to say goodbye to the idea of love. We’re asked to truly and courageously pour love from and beyond ourselves.

This is the gift and challenge of motherhood— it’s an unraveling of the soul. We’re tethered to change. It’s like folding laundry with kids. They’re always playfully pulling us apart, unfolding the tidy ideas we hold of ourselves, tugging at our bound up emotions. We wrestle with fear, anger and annoyance. We practice patience. We practice gratitude. Kids teach us pure presence. We play again. We let go of our need to be perfect. We let go of just knowing—we start living. We read more. We learn more. We follow thought leaders like Dr. Brené Brown and Dr. Shefali Tsabary. We tackle our limiting beliefs. We pray. We let go a little more. We’re asked to let go of the cruelty we once reserved for ourselves. We’re someone’s mother. We practice compassion. We’re expected to explore our own dreams so we don’t shove them onto our children.

We become, again and again. We let go of the idea that we’ll never be scared. We’re scared at least twice a day when we look into their lovely little eyes. God please keep them safe. We’re scared when we turn off the lights. Did we teach them enough? Did we hold them enough? Do they know how much we love them? Did we scold too harshly? Did we enjoy it all? Did we savor the time? We breathe. Tomorrow’s another day of letting go.

Essay by: Camaron Brooks

Wasn't that awesome?! The first time I read it, I was shaking my head up and down mumbling, Yes, yes, yes.

I know you already love Camaron as much as I do! Here's how you can keep up with her.

Facebook / Instagram / Reporting Live From Studio B

And don't forget to pick up a copy of her book here!

Hi friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 10/3/16 Catia Holm 10/3/16

The Courage to Become | Monica Becker

Courage to Quit Your 9-5

"What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?" "What is your biggest dream?" "What are you most passionate about?" These are some of my favorite questions to ask people.

I’m curious about people’s passions and I like to motivate and challenge them to work toward their dreams. I find that I like to encourage people from the inside out – building up their confidence and then encouraging them to stretch.

Sometimes we all need a little push to help us get out of the false illusion that we can't succeed. Sometimes it’s easy for us to settle, because we’re scared of “what if?” But when we pursue our passions and follow what truly sets are soul on fire, that’s when the magic happens.

Just after I turned 23, I started working full time as an employee of the State of Texas. I was the youngest person in my division and very excited for my new career. But, the excitement of having my 9-5 "big girl" job quickly started to fade as I surpassed my learning curve and was no longer stimulated by the work.

But, as luck would have it, around the same time I started teaching group fitness classes, and they kept monotony from setting in.

Right away I fell in love with group fitness and the community I built within my classes. Helping and motivating people through my classes made my heart explode. I was able to see people's lives transform right in front of my eyes. The impact of finding a positive community had a MAJOR ripple effect.

We forget how powerful it is to connect with people.

I teach all forms of dance (latin, hip-hop, etc.) and since most people don’t feel comfortable dancing unless they’ve had a few cocktails – it’s always touch and go at first – whether the students are really going to let loose. But when one student dances freely, others follow.

Providing a time and space to allow my students to “let go” can make a huge difference in someone’s day which can also change their life.

My fulfillment from my classes grew immensely in my soul and I one day I could not see myself living without that energy. So, I started teaching as many classes as I could while working full time and juggling my relationship.

BUT, I was in need of finding balance.

And then, two weeks before our one year wedding anniversary, my husband and I found out we were pregnant. We were both ecstatic for the news but knew we wanted better work opportunities before our son came and I finally had clear intentions of what I wanted.

I wanted to stay home with our son and not miss any of his first moments.

But how would I be able to do this and earn an income to contribute to our family?

I wanted to teach my fitness classes and somehow make just as much money or more working in line with my passion – so I set that as an intention. And I no longer wanted my 9-5 “big girl” job.

Two weeks before my maternity leave was up - I had an intense conversation with my best friend about my decision to quit. And since she is the best planner I have ever met, the news freaked her out. She knew that our family really wasn’t built for only one income. Even with all that, I spoke these words to her: "I am going to go back to work but then I’m quitting. I don't know how but I will end up making more money working less hours doing what I love – being home with our son. I don't know how it's going to happen but I just know and have faith that it will work out."

And then, I QUIT MY 9-5 JOB.

Shortly thereafter, I was approached by one of my students and he offered me a job developing a DANCE VIDEO GAME. I would be doing the choreography and development for a DANCE VIDEO GAME!

I couldn't even believe the type of work I would be doing. I was finally working completely in my passions and the best part was I’d be able to work from home and have my son with me.

Between my new video game job and my fitness classes I was making just the income I needed. I was extremely thankful and in shock that I actually achieved what I desired most!

THEN…

Two weeks after attaining this amazing opportunity my husband got a job offer to work from home as well with a large income increase. We were not expecting this at all! Now my husband could enjoy all of Austin's first moments too! We were both home and got to experience when Austin took his first steps – and I will never forget it.

Having faith that everything will work out and taking a risk has been the biggest life changing experience for me. I learned so much about the power of our intentions and desires. Our daily thoughts and actions can make our lives for better or worse.

If there is something you are passionate about or something you want to achieve, dig deep and put your whole heart into it. Don't worry about how you will get there, just have faith and start taking action towards your goals. Doors will open for you along the way and people will come into your life that are unexpected. Take a leap of faith. You won't regret it!

Essay by: Monica Becker

Monica is truly an inspiration and such a wonderful spirit!!! You can find her on You Tube, or connect with her via her FB Page: Dance With Monica ATX and you can even find her on Instagram.

If you're in the Austin area, check out her FB page for dance classes, and if you're not in the Austin area, check out her YOU TUBE page, and she can teach you in the comfort of your home!

Hi, friend!

I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.

One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.

The threads running through all my work (I’m an author - The Courage to Become, I’m a motivational speaker - TEDx, Choose Joy or Die , I am a private coach ) are hope, joy and empowerment.

If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.

Nice to meet you!

Catia Holm 11/10/13 Catia Holm 11/10/13

Teachers Change Lives

Originally published on 11-10-13

Some of my earliest memories include school teachers, both good and bad. There was Mrs. Smith who was harder on me than on anyone else in the class, there was Mrs. Everitt who adored her students and taught me how to do neck exercises, and there was Mrs. Vos who gave me a wide open space to discover and learn just what kind of student I wanted to be. Teachers have the capacity to impact students from September through May, and then some.

Well, a few days ago I was working a wine tasting event in my hometown of Weslaco and I looked up and saw Mr. Richard Vos. He is my second grade teacher’s husband. Not expecting him to remember who I was I said, “Hi my name is Catia Hernandez and I…” “I know who you are,” he said. He remembered? I was so happy that he did. My voice immediately went up a few octaves. “How’s Mrs. Vos? It’s been so long since I’ve seen her!” He said she was doing great and had returned to teaching from her hiatus. I asked if she would be stopping by the wine tasting and Mr. Vos told me she was at swimming practice and that he didn’t think so. Since I was eager to catch up with her I asked for her email address. I told him I was really excited to see him too, but Mrs. Vos…Mrs. Vos! I couldn’t wait to send her a note.

I continued serving wine for the next 30 minutes. “Moscato? Ok. Cabernet? Coming right….Mrs. Vos!” Mrs. Vos was standing right in front of me! I came out of my skin with excitement. I came out from behind the serving station and gave her a huge bear hug and a kiss. I attacked her with love.

“How are you? Oh my goodness, it’s been so long! I just have to thank you for being so great. You impacted my life in such an amazing way. You taught me how to write and you even rewarded me by letting me be teacher for a day!” Along the way I have had some incredible school teachers, but Mrs. Vos was extraordinary.

Mrs. Vos taught us how to write compositions and I’ve been writing ever since. One time we event wrote a “How to make a banana split” composition. As a fun Christmas party activity our parents came in the classroom and made banana splits EXACTLY how our compositions instructed, so if we forgot to write, get the ice cream boat and place it in front of you, our banana split ingredients would be place nicely on our desks. She was so good at approaching each student differently and I was no different. She knew exactly what motivated me. So as a reward for being chosen as a Super Star I was allowed to be Teacher for a day. (Every 6 weeks we received our report cards. Additionally the teachers chose outstanding students deemed, Super Stars. Super Stars were rewarded in different ways, one of which included a school wide parade. Super Stars would parade through the school hallways, in crowns and sashes while the high school fight song played over the speakers. People would clap, parents would visit, and flowers were gifted. It had my name written all over it. It was ALWAYS my goal to be named Super Star during the first 6 week period. Just to make sure I set the tone for the rest of the year.) Being teacher for a day included dictating the day’s activities all while sitting….at the teacher’s desk! It was jackpot gold for a Type A 2nd grader. It was awesome. And however small of a gesture, it was my first leadership experience and I was hooked. I bet if you dropped me off at Memorial Elementary I could navigate my way back to our old classroom.

I continued to catch Mrs. Vos up on what I was doing these days. “I’m writing a book,” I told her. I think her eyes welled up but maybe it was just the glare of the fluorescent lighting. “I can’t thank you enough for investing in my life,” I told her. She replied with, “Thank you. Not all our kids thank us as fervently and success stories are always a joy. You were always a very….” And she held her hands straight in front of her and finished with “focused.” Whewh! “You were always structured and focused.” What’s not to like about that?

I went to public school all my life and had a great experience. I was blessed with dozens of caring, thoughtful teachers and Mrs. Vos was the cream of the crop.

Thank you to all the wonderful teachers who work countless hours and give all that you have to your craft. Your work and efforts are felt long after students leave the classroom. In 1991 I was 8 years old and Mrs. Vos’ student. It’s 2013 and I’m 30. More than two decades have passed and I still hold her and those classroom experiences close to my heart.

When you get, give. When you learn, teach. At our best we are all teachers. - Maya Angelou

Catia Holm 10/23/13 Catia Holm 10/23/13

The Como Mamas

Originally published on 10-23-13

Sometime in mid-March, I was working at ACL and SXSW acts were rolling through the venue. The ticket for this particular night read, Soul Review. I thought, “Cool. I like soul music.” And I had a glimmer of hope that Justin Timberlake would swing by.

At 8pm when the house lights went down the venue only had about 100 people in it. It was a meager start to the night as the venue fits about 2700 music lovers. As I surveyed the crowd I thought, “Maybe Prince is playing down the street or something.”

I scanned the acts on the ticket and since I hadn’t heard of any of them, I didn’t pay much attention. As ACL spans four floors I spent a lot of my time running around chatting and checking with staff on each floor. As I was running around my boss, Tom asked “Have you been inside the venue yet? You’re going to love the act on stage.” As soon as I found a good breaking point I made my way inside the venue and was immediately blown away.

The room was dark and cold and filled with the unforgettable voices of The Como Mamas. As I surveyed the stage I thought, “Only three ladies, no instruments?” I had heard similar sounds from movie soundtracks before, but never in person. The group is made up of three lifelong Gospel singers from the small town of Como, Mississippi, and they were magnificent. Their voices cut straight through the fluff and went directly to my bones. Their voices were gripping. I was mesmerized. I inched my way toward the front of the stage and got lost in their voices. I took photos and videos but nothing compared to the real thing.

When their set was over and the crowd of what was now 200 people had finished applauding, I decided to make good use of my all access pass and go backstage to tell them how awesome they were.

I walked straight up to my favorite of the three singers, Ms. Ester Mae, and I introduced myself. “Hello, my name is Catia and I work here. I just wanted to tell you how powerful and impactful your performance was. Listening to your voices is very moving. Good luck with…” I thought it was be a quick congratulations and I’d be on my way. But before I turned away she grabbed my hands in hers.

We were outside her dressing room and folks were hurriedly working getting ready for the next band, but somehow all that faded away and I felt connected. I didn’t yet know what she was going to say, but I knew that I was going to pay attention.

My small soft hands sat in her encompassing rough hands. Her hands felt like they had been productive for decades. She was tall and was of bigger build and dressed in her Sunday best. Her long corn rows were pulled back in a ponytail and she was smiling so big I could see her gold capped teeth. No one would have questioned her being backstage but she was wearing her artist badge proudly.

Once my hands were in hers and our eyes locked she said, “Thank you so much for that. You know, I’m 62. They came into my church and discovered me 4 years ago. All my life I’ve been singing in the church, for the church and just now, my dreams are coming true. Tomorrow, they are taking me on a plane to New Orleans!” She was beaming. Ms. Ester continued, “I’ve been praying my whole life to God. You just keep working hard for what you want. Don’t lose faith in yourself or in God. When you’re ready, your dreams will find their way to you. Don’t be afraid of hard work.”

I was blown away by her words of wisdom. I knew that this was not an ordinary occurrence.

Ms. Ester definitely looked like she could cook a southern meal and give a great hug. And since we weren’t near a kitchen, I asked if I could give her a hug and she agreed. It was such a mama bear hug. I could feel her love even though she didn’t know me from Adam.

Did she know Guapo and I were about to hit a rocky patch? Did she know I was going to jump into writing full time? Did she know that I was training for a marathon? Did she know I was working two jobs and was really tired? There were so many balls in the air; I had no clue how life was going to be come May. How did she know I would need to hear her words? She didn’t, but God did.

God sent her to me to say, “Keep your head down, work hard and don’t lose faith.” The words, “I’m 62 and I’m just walking into my dream,” pop into my thoughts when I get impatient.

There are signs all around and they come to us in different packages. The universe is constantly talking to us, guiding us along. However, the signs from the universe won’t always be obvious, most times, they’ll be subtle. We have to be open and aware enough to receive them. We have to have open hearts, open minds and be quiet enough within ourselves to notice the messages.

If we are constantly numbing ourselves out with food, alcohol or even activity we will have a hard time reading the signs along the way, if we see them at all. James Earl Jones is not going to show up at our doors telling us what our next move should be, neither is the Wizard of Oz.

Some days a door will open and a door will close and that’s as much change that will happen. Some days there may be a road block along the way redirecting us, and some days the universe may send us Ms. Ester. Most times the signs are so small that we may not even give them any significance, but they are there. Pay attention.

Justin Timberlake was a no show that night, but I got something much better, a hug from Ms. Ester and a message from God.

Ms. Ester, may you continue to touch people’s souls the way you touched mine.

Catia Holm 9/11/13 Catia Holm 9/11/13

Words + Thoughts live

Originally published on 9-11-13

Words are everywhere. They come at as us from the TV, from the newspaper and from the radio. Media is just one medium, but there are countless others. Day to day interactions with family and friends and co-workers can be just as impactful. Over the years I have learned to be more discerning about the words I use and about the words that I let into my space, and it’s my days and nights so much happier.

Words and thoughts from TV

When Guapo and I started dating I avoided watching TV or movies where people were mean or unkind to each other. I started avoiding those subjects because I never wanted the following questions to come up, “Would you ever do that?” or “Have you ever…?” or “What would you do if…?” I didn’t want that junk, albeit fictional, entering into my subconscious, his, or ours. So we watched a lot of college football, comedy shows and happy romantic comedies. Finished were the days of “This is 40” or “The Five Year Engagement.” As funny as those types of movies seem, they’re simply negative wrapped in funny.

You’d think that when he’s not home, I’d turn it back to Real Housewives, right? Wrong. After one year of not being a regular viewer, I just can’t handle it anymore. Their voices sound like nails on chalkboard to me. I can literally feel their vile language invading my space. There are countless shows on TV where people are just down right mean to each other, there’s no value in watching it. Most times it’s like watching venom spew back and forth across the screen. “You’re a bitch! No, you’re a bitch!” This sounds extreme, I know. But once you start paying attention to how you feel AFTER you’ve finished watching an E! Entertainment News marathon, you’ll realize, it’s indifferent at best.

The other day we went to go see Woody Allen’s, Blue Jasmine. I was so pumped. I love a good movie with eye candy to boot! Forty five minutes in, I realized it was a downer! The characters were heavy and rude. I thought, “Do we stay and get our 20 bucks worth, or do we leave?” I tapped Guapo on the shoulder and he knew, he could feel it too. We left and were eating at one of our favorite hippie restaurants in no time. See ya later, Woody!

Words and thoughts from other people

About a month ago I walked into a boot repair shop in West Texas, and the owner, a lady in her mid-40s, was posted up behind a display counter. She greeted me and quickly proceeded to talk about being financially strapped and horses being slaughtered. She was clear in communicating to me just how much the world owed her. I thought, “Woah, lady. This is not the way to get me to come back here.”

There was a dark grey cloud looming over the boot shop and her negative words and vibe seemed to stick everywhere, like hot gum melted to the bottom of your shoe. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. “Thanks for the chat, see you …never.”

If someone’s talking about icky things, I try my best to exit as quickly as possible. If I can’t exit, I try to change the subject. There’s no added value to my life (or to theirs) if I’m listening to someone rehash how much paying taxes sucks or how much their ex-boyfriend sucks. I prefer the sunnier side of memory lane.

Our words and thoughts

We tell ourselves some crazy stuff. We say out loud about ourselves what we would never say about our friends. It’s like we expect ourselves to be a glossed up version of a woman. We are to have the brilliance of Tina Fey, the hotness of Beyonce, the tenderness of a pre-school teacher, oh yeah and after dark the fierceness of Rihanna. Are you kidding me? No. We (me included) can be cray, cray!

Yesterday I joked, “I haven’t gone to the grocery store! I’m not a good wife.” Or a few months ago as thoughts were bubbling up inside of me and I was resisting I said, “Maybe I’m not a good writer. Maybe I just wasn’t meant to be a writer.” Or, “I know that the pork chops I cooked for dinner aren’t the greatest, they’ll be better next time.” Or the classic, “She’s so pretty; she’s so much prettier than me.”

Thankfully, in my house, comments like that are usually cut off at the knees. “Don’t joke about that, you’re a great wife,” or “Stop. You are a good writer, but you are on a learning path,” or “There’s no self-hate in this house, we don’t allow it.” Dang! Even when I use self-deprecating humor to be funny, I get shut down! My house is better off that way.

The more we use these words, the more we tell ourselves that we are not enough, the worse off we are. Have you ever noticed that when you don’t weigh yourself every morning and you don’t obsess about the .5 pounds you’ve gained, you’re much happier (and just as hot!)

Words and thoughts are things. Be conscious of the words you use and the energy you are putting out there. Are you a glass half full kind of person, or are you a glass half empty kind of person, or are you a… gosh I wish I had a better glass kind of person? What message are your words and actions sending?

Be a positive force in the world and value your life enough to only surround yourself with the like.

Catia Holm 7/24/13 Catia Holm 7/24/13

Leaving work Post Partum

Originally published on 7-24-13

Before graduating high school I was an honors student, played varsity golf and was a drum major of a 300 person marching band. When I graduated at 17 years old, I ranked 5th out of 600. After high school I attended UT Business School and clipped through that in 3 years, only to graduate at 20 years old. Immediately after UT I enrolled in graduate school at the University of Houston where I worked full time and took a full course load. After two years in graduate school I graduated with a 4.0 and got hired onto my then dream job, a manager at Eddie V’s Edgewater Grille in downtown Austin. In 2006 Eddie V’s was the sexiest place in town. The restaurant was filled with money, power, fame and beauty to boot. I was having my cake and eating it too. At 25 my family hired me full time to help run their million dollar business, Holiday Wine and Liquor. I attended community events, filmed commercials, conducted wine tastings, created team culture and built our brand. After four years with Holiday, I was hired in 2011 to be General Manager of Bar Operations at ACL-Live in downtown Austin. I was back in Austin and working at the hippest place in town. Mariah Carey told me to make it happen, and I did.

Well, a month ago I let ACL and all the cache that went with it, go. I left for two reasons. The first was to create a better environment for my relationship and future family. The second was to focus on Anna and see my dreams of writing and coaching come true.

But, seven days after I left ACL, it hit like an anvil, I was making less money and I had turned in all my street cred. Money equals power, right? Or does money equal freedom? Or does working at a cool place equal power and freedom? Whatever money and job status equals, I started to feel a little less than. I felt like a financial burden to my partner and it seemed the only way to rectify this was to work really hard at making our house perfect.

On the 8th day, I woke up at 7:45 and made the bed by 8am. I had never made the bed so early. By noon, I had washed dishes, rearranged the living room furniture, took out the trash and recycling, made iced tea, and thanked my boyfriend 78 times for reasons known and unknown. I kept thinking, “Oh, what a nice man to take me in with all my student loan debt, I’d better be extra appreciative today, he is the breadwinner after all!” I was thanking him at the rate that Pippen thanked Jordan. I was thanking him like Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman thanked Tom Cruise. I couldn’t stop thinking how disrespectful it would be to say, “You bring home the bacon and don’t forget to cook in for breakfast too!”

Maybe it was the Mexican servitude in me and maybe it was all those years of Catholic guilt indoctrination, but it was there and it was loud.

The fact that I was not contributing as much money to the family bank account grabbed a hold of me in a way I didn’t think it would. But, like the sun rises every morning, so too did God send me a teacher.

In the few weeks after my mind had been spinning, Guapo and I sat down with friends for dinner. There were three couples, and we sat divided at the table, three men and three women. Conversation got rolling and I had the patience to wait until our entrees to do what I do best, spill my beans.

I detailed my latest life developments which included: leaving ACL, making less money, feeling overloaded with domestic duties and feeling a little less than. I described to these ladies who are wonderful mothers and strong women, how I had been unsettled and how I was trying to get my sea legs for being what I have coined a ‘house person’ (since I’m not a Mom yet), someone who largely works from home and tends to house hold duties.

Elizabeth, a mom of three, looked at me and said, “Girl, when I left my job, it took me a year and a half to adjust!” She said, “Even though I knew it was the right decision for my family, I felt less than because I no longer had a job that people were in awe of.” Elizabeth continued with, “It took some real effort not to say, I’m just a stay at home mom. When the babies cried, I felt the need to jump out of bed and not inconvenience my husband who works long days.”

Vanessa, a mom of two, said, “Oh yes, I totally understand. At first you’ll feel the need to always have the dishwasher empty and have elaborate dinners cooked.” She too had a really cool job where she had more street cred than she could ask for. Vanessa also opened up and told me about the first time she went shopping after she became a stay at home mom. She said she paused out of guilt before buying a $50 bra, because maybe it wasn’t really communal money. Thankfully, Vanessa didn’t let the conversation end before telling me that there was a time she apologized to her husband for not having the dishes cleaned and he replied with, “Don’t worry about it, it’s not your job.” Surprised, Vanessa asked, “It’s not?” And she grabbed my hand and looked at me and said, “It’s not.” I felt relief sinking in.

There’s a lot to be said for women who support women. They could have easily brushed aside my comments, but they didn’t. They listened and empathized and responded. They held my hand, told me they knew exactly how I felt and sent me on my way. I am very grateful for them.

On the drive home after dinner, because I just had to have it all figured out before we were in the driveway I asked Guapo “What is my job now that I have so much free time?” He took a second and said, “Your job is to be kind and thoughtful and fulfilled, without those things our world doesn’t work.” He said, “You took a leap of faith on us, and I honor that. You giving up a job where you work nights and odd hours enhances our lives, and for that I’m grateful.” It finally started sinking in that I in fact was not a financial burden and that my increased presence in our lives was valued on time alone.

We parked the car, walked inside our home and I sat at the kitchen table while I watched Guapo buzz around the house. He fed the dogs and changed the slip covers on the sofa cushions and I told my Catholic guilt to hit the road.

The next day I reconciled that all my go getter accomplishments were still there and that “I” the person who did all those things didn’t vanish, I just decided to take another route. I made a deliberate choice to channel my energy into my home and my family and my dream of writing, and that doesn’t make me less than who I was six months ago. It in fact, gets me closer to being who I want to be.

Ladies, thank society for their idea of who you should be and if it doesn’t work for you, set it aside. Our greatest responsibility is not to make sure we fit into perfect boxes. Our greatest responsibilities as beings are to remain fulfilled and healthy and happy, so that we may make each of our corners a better place.

Some days I’ll have the bed made by 8am and some days I won’t, and it’s all okay.

Catia Holm 6/26/13 Catia Holm 6/26/13

Last Day

Originally published on 6-26-13

About 5 years ago I was living in McAllen and would visit Austin my home away from home and mosey downtown, particularly 2nd street and look at all the twinkly lights and busy eateries and wine bars and think, “Someday, I’m going to walk here, live here, be here, I’m not sure when or how, but I will.”

Then one day in early 2011, I got a phone call and on one end of the phone I heard, “You ready to move back?” I replied, “I’m in.” Tom my great friend and past and future boss man replied, “I can’t promise you anything, I’m not even sure I need a manager.” “I’ll make it work,” I said. “We’ll make it work,” he said, and we did.

By the first week of June 2011 I had an ACL Live all access badge, a parking pass and a spot on my favorite street in Austin. And as luck would have it, the twinkly lights were still up.

After two glorious years, June 16th was my last day at ACL Live.

For 2 years I have worked 2 full time jobs. I have been in overdrive and I have loved it. I worked as a General Manager of Bar Operations at ACL Live, fulfilled the Business Development role at Holiday Wine and Liquor, ran a marathon, did 2 Tough Mudders, jumped out of a plane, rappelled down a 32 story building, found a church home, fell in love, remembered to brush my teeth twice a day (ok, maybe not every day) and I tried my best to keep the laundry done and folded. Can I get a high five? Before you give me that high five, I can never promise anything is ironed; can I still get a high five?

I wanted to see just how much I could fit on my personal plate and the answer was, a lot. One day my friend and co-worker turned to me and said, “You’re intense.” I thought, “What, me?” I had never thought of it in that way, I always thought about it in terms of, why not?

My life was movin’ and groovin’ and then this rhyme started to creep into my head, First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Catia with a baby carriage, and I had to stop and reassess. Creating the best environment I could for my relationship and future family became my top priority and something had to give. Knowing it was the right thing for me, for our relationship and for the dream of writing Anna and reaching more people; I put in my notice at ACL Live.

During May and June I hugged the staff more, promised to keep in touch and made sure each team member knew how instrumental they had been in my life, and on my last I cried like a line cook cutting onions. To say that that last two years of my life have been the greatest life has offered me would not be an overstatement.

While eating a Schlotzky’s sandwich, drinking a cold diet coke and laughing so hard I snorted with friends I got to watch Louis CK perform 4 comedy shows standing 10 yards away, AND I got paid for it. I heard Miranda Lambert sing the song, the house that built me. I got to watch Diana Ross strut across stage and have her huge hair follow. I got to hear the Dixie Chicks belt out Wide Open Spaces while I sat on riser steps and cried my little eyes out because I thought they MUST have written that song about me. I got to hear Randy Travis sing Forever and Ever Amen while my boyfriend wrapped his arms around me. I was able to host my parents in a fancy suite when Chris Isaak was in town. Wicked games! Backstage, I spoke with Gary Clark Jr. and expressed to he and his parents that they should be proud they raised such a genuine and humble soul. And, I was blessed to work with my brother David and the experience was marvelous for reasons told and untold. Two full years at ACL Live were a gift from the universe and from the pied piper, Tom Farace.

Well Sunday the 16th was unforgettable. There were sweet gifts and hugs and well wishes and a going away bash that included cold champagne, grainy Polaroid’s now mounted on my refrigerator and safe cab rides home.

The concerts were cool, but the good stuff, the good stuff you can’t buy. For me, the magic is in bartending team I worked with. The value is in the tens of thousands of high fives exchanged, all the goofy dancing we did together, learning about each other, and all the laughter and joy exchanged (even when the jokes were so gross I’d go into convulsions). Here’s to all of my favorites there at 310 Willie Nelson Blvd. I will miss hugging you, giving you high fives, telling dirty jokes with you and asking you if you have any candy.

Folks, the universe will give you what you need when you need it; you just have to ask for it.

Catia Holm 6/2/13 Catia Holm 6/2/13

26.2

Originally published on 6-2-13

Late February my brother, Carlos, and I were at my Sis’ birthday party and he said, “Hey I’m running a marathon in May,” and after having a few vodka martinis I said, “I will too!”

Half of me wanted to tackle a challenge, something way beyond my reach, something that I knew would take a good chunk of commitment, and the other half of me wanted to support him (at this point Carlos had lost 100 pounds and had been challenging himself physically and mentally in different ways), a little solidarity if you will.

I was not in real shape; I was what I call ‘gym fit.’ My clothes fit and I felt good about the way I looked but I had zero endurance.

So I decided to get with it and of course, started by buying new clothes and supplies!

The running coach fitting me for sneakers asked, “How many miles can you run now without stopping?” “8 miles,” I quickly replied. 8 miles was a total and complete lie, I hadn’t run 8 miles since 2011! Now scared I asked, “Do you think I can do this?” He answered seriously, “Absolutely, but you can’t skip a day of training. Most people train over 6 months.” I only had 9 weeks. Uh oh.

I Googled, sought advice from the fittest people I knew, bought cool running gear, downloaded songs, but there was no magic formula, no magic pill. No one offered the number to their blood doping connection. I was out of luck. I’d have to go it alone. I decided to forge ahead and I started to chip away at it.

My first long run was 8 miles and every Saturday after that I upped the mileage by 2. I ran 8, 10, 12, 14, 16 and 18! At 18 I thought, “Woah.” As I ran up the driveway after mile 18 I thought, “Ok. Now this is a lot.” I gingerly lied on the floor and got lost in the wooden beam above until I could move again.

One week later I ran the big kahuna, 20. 20 was my best run. I left the house on my own, knowing there would be no jam bands or spectators along the way, knowing there would be no aid or water stations, no one handing me half bananas to keep me going. It was only my carefully chosen shoes, my favorite Pandora rap station, my Gatorade and my inner voice. You see, I have the same chatter box that you have. The chatter box that tells you whether you can or you can’t. While I did experience things happening on the exterior: corner store activity, blessing the homeless man I ran by, running through plumes of cigarette smoke, watching the city busses stop and go and stop and go, I did not allow myself to sink into my negative chatter box. If I had, I would have never laced up my shoes in the first place. Who runs 20 miles on there on a volunteer basis? As negative thoughts would float in my head I would coach myself through by saying, “Nope, not now, negative chatter box, you can try to come back later.” All of a sudden the negative rhetoric was gone and in the moment I knew I could do it, because I already was. I was already at mile 16, what was another 4 miles?

Soon we were 2 weeks out I came down with a virus and my Dr. said, “Hey I know how hard you’ve trained but I can’t guarantee you‘ll be able to run.” With some certain attitude I replied, “Give me the meds, not running is not an option.” I had worked out 5 days a week, rain or shine, sick or tired. Nothing got in the way. I ate the right foods, drank the right fluids, passed up a tasty alcoholic beverage on many occasion because I knew my body couldn’t withstand it. Some head cold was not going to stop me.

She ended up seeing me again a few days after the marathon because I had a little GI tract bleeding from running- whoops.

For 9 weeks Carlos and I trained separately but cheered each other on in our own way, watched each other’s progress. Finally, race day was upon us. We woke up even before the roosters crowed, threw on our best battle gear and headed for the starting line. When we stepped out of our toasty warm car and into the race zone, it was 46 degrees. Icy.

The marathon we signed up for was the definition of low key. I’m not sure the casual Saturday morning trail runners even knew there were races being run. Folks were running 10ks, half marathons, full marathons and 50ks. Carlos and I ran with no promise of glittered good luck signs, fanfare or fancy refueling stations. The statement, we ran the most boring marathon possible, is not far off.

I was packed down with energy chews, electrolytes; a water bottle, my iphone and my ipod shuffle just in case my phone decided it didn’t have enough juice to go the distance with me.

Throughout the run I observed nature, thought about a new hair style, thought about cool posts for Facebook once I had finished, but then like a Mom is proud of her child, I started feeling proud of myself, so I got teary eyed and had to stop thinking about Facebook posts. Onward. I sang along with Jay Z, Ja Rule, J Lo and 50 Cent. I’m clearly stuck in 2001. I thought about how crazy the people who put on the marathon were. Instead of offering us Gatorade and orange slices, they offered us Rootbeer and Oreos. With each lap the sun came out more and with each lap I peeled off layers of clothing. In the middle of the third lap I felt my face flush and my head heat up and I thought, “What’s going on here? Oh, I’m overheating. Whoopsie daises, better not let that happen.”

It warmed up to 65 degrees by the time we were on mile 24, when Carlos and I met up on the trail. We changed our individuals running paces and joined up, and decided to run the last few miles together. No winner, no loser, but together. Here we were, months and weeks and hours and hours of training later, together. Knowing there would be a camera we gave our best Hernandez smile and sprinted across, we probably looked a little more energetic than we actually were. We may have even had a little juice left for crossing the finish line at mile 26.2. We crossed, high fived, looked around for some fanfare, but there was none to be had, so we took a moment for ourselves, packed up and went home.

Carlos finished because he told himself he could. I finished because I told myself I could. There was no magic pill for either of us, no super-secret way to get through it, no back door way to get a marathon medal. All it took was a little courage.

Never underestimate the power of courage. It takes courage to set a goal and grind away at it.

You are capable of so much more than you give yourself allowance for. Don’t be afraid to reach just beyond your grasp. I believe in you.

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide

Confidence + Joy Weekly Guide